How to Raise a Well-Mannered Puppy

A/N: Thanks to the following reviewers: aspiker, Yukiko, koalared, Kodachi, Lee, Terry, Ivy, kaibasbabe, Nite Nite, duosangel, maggiemay and DarkRoseBlood. I hope you enjoy this story ... you inspire me!

I do not own or profit in any way from Yu-Gi-Oh

CHAPTER 1

He could not recall how in the name of God he had allowed his brother to talk him into getting a puppy.

* * *

"Seto, he is SO CUTE!" Mokuba had squealed as, at eight weeks old, the Golden Retriever had run amok through the maze of rooms of the mansion, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake.

Eight weeks had turned into eight months, with the same puppy, now a full 75 pounds of rambunctious energy, wreaking havoc daily throughout HIS life, HIS refuge, cuteness long ago fallen by the wayside.

He began dreading coming home, never knowing what wreckage awaited him, which servant would need to be mollified for being the brunt of the dog's misbehavior. He'd already increased the maid's salary fifteen percent after she complained that cleaning up dog excrement and urine had not been in the job description she'd agreed upon. And bought the butler several new pairs of trousers. For some reason the puppy found endless joy in nipping at the butler's ankles as he went about running the Kaiba household.

It all came to a head when Kaiba had to gain excuse from a homework assignment, explaining carefully to his teacher that the dog had in fact, ate it. And the disk he'd backed it up on. And chewed through the power chord to his laptop, which in turn drained the battery, rendering it useless until the battery could be recharged.

He wondered absently how exactly the damned dog could do such a thing and avoid electrocution.

It seemed a full minute passed in silence before the entire class, teacher included, exploded in laughter at his expense. "Fortunately, Mr. Kaiba, I believe you," Mr. Shimaoka said, "You could not possibly invent such a poor excuse, it must be the truth." The bell signifying the end of class rang, red-faced, Kaiba gathered up his books. Mood blackened, he promised himself the dog would be vacating the premises. Today.

"Kaiba, YOU got a puppy?" Jounouchi Katsuya asked incredulously.

"Jealous that it isn't you, Mutt?" he snapped.

"Fuck you, I was just tryin' ta be friendly. And I'm NOT a dog!" Jou retorted. "I feel sorry for the little fucker," he mumbled just loud enough for Kaiba to hear.

"What was that, Inu?!" Kaiba sneered, launching himself at the smaller boy. Agile as a cat, Jounouchi was halfway out the classroom door, intent on escaping Kaiba's rage.

"Mr. Jounouchi! There is no cursing allowed in this school! When I catch you, you will have detention!" Mr. Shimaoka called after him. From behind his teacher he heard Kaiba snicker.

"Aw fah crissake!" Jounouchi howled, determined not to get detention on this of all days, when his sister Shizuka was visiting. The thought of her alone with Honda and Otogi fighting over her like she was a juicy bone was enough to propel him forward through the halls. The weekend was in front of him, there was no way he'd start it off with detention! He'd take his lumps on Monday.

He was thankful for once that his time as a gang member had trained him for the obstacle course that the school hallways offered. In his heyday, no one caught up with Jounouchi Katsuya. He sailed through the crowded halls, opening up a lead on his teacher, edging closer to the exit by the gymnasium.

He blasted through the gym doors to the outside, realizing he was home free, at least for today. Not caring about the future and the punishment that certainly loomed when next he encountered Mr. Shimaoka, and unaware that the gym teacher and track coach had been observing his sprint. Perhaps the weekend would be enough time for his teacher to cool off, and Jounouchi could talk his way out of detention. One could always hope.

When Mr. Shimaoka finally reached the exit, he was greeted by the coach, Mr. Kitano. "Looking for someone?"

"Yes, Jounouchi Katsuya. Have you seen him?"

"He passed by a while ago." Aggravated, the other man swore under his breath. "Is he in trouble?"

"He just earned a week's worth of detention!"

"Hmm. I have a deal for you, Mr. Shimaoka."

* * *

"We can't get rid of Kobi," Mokuba pleaded that night, "He's my best friend, Seto. He just needs to be trained." Kaiba felt his resolve begin to melt under the tear-filled gaze of his younger brother.

"Mokuba, he's already been to obedience school three times. I think there may be something wrong with him."

"But Seto, WE'VE never trained him. We've only let someone else do it, and Kobi is always obedient for the trainer." Mokuba's arms snaked around the offending creature's neck, who took Mokuba's proximity as an excuse to lave his face with soft pink tongue.

Kaiba shook his head. "Moku, neither of us knows the first thing about training a puppy."

"There's tons of dog training books, Set. Just order one from Amazon."

"Hmph. Okay, I will give the dog one last chance." He softened his stance. "But if his behavior doesn't improve, he will be banned from the house."

"Thanks, Seto! I know this will work!"

He could not stand another minute under his own roof with the out of control creature. So, being Kaiba Seto, he researched all the books available on dog training, investigated which ones had garnered the best results, and finally settled on How to Raise a Well-Mannerd Puppy. He paid to have it overnighted to his office. If only he had researched puppies this thoroughly he thought to himself, he wouldn't be in this predicament.

Perusing the book as he rode home from his office in the limo, it came to him that perhaps some of the principles found within could be employed on a certain blond-haired, brown-eyed puppy. With that in mind, he smiled as he cracked open the cover and began reading.

"Congratulations on your new puppy! Now that you have chosen your pet, it is important that you raise him to be a well-mannered member of the community.

"Dogs are social animals, and as such need to be integrated with their human pack."

So that explains the whole 'friendship' thing. Kaiba snorted, thinking how inseparable Jounouchi was from Yuugi, Anzu and Honda. How insufferable he found their interdependence to be.

"Your puppy will be happiest knowing his position in your household. As master, you must assert your dominance over your pet. Once that is established, you are well on your way to sharing your life with a loyal, faithful and obedient companion."

Kaiba smirked. Oh yes, this book was going to prove very useful.

to be continued ...