My World

"Seto, why don't you just let me take you home? It's getting late..."

"No. I do have things I have to do. Thank you." he sighed as he slid off Honda's bike. He kissed him lightly on the cheek and started to walk away when the thought that had plagued him the whole way suddenly surfaced.

"You know, maybe you aren't the right teacher for me..."

"What?! Teach you..." he felt he should fell insulted, but he wasn't sure why, "Teach you what?"

"Remember I said I have a habbit of taking things for granted?"

"Yea, why... hey! What are you saying?! What do I take..."

"Your parents... your sister..."

"Hey! You don't know..."

"You're right. I don't know." Unable to look at Honda, and without another word, he entered the empty building to work. Leaving Honda with some things to think about.

Honda stared blankly up toward Kaiba's office and waited for the light to signal he was there, then sped off.

"I'm sorry, Hiroto-chan." he leaned against the window and watched his lover take off.

Looking at all the work piled on his desk, he flopped into his chair and eyed it angrily; the pile of paper work to his left. The full email box on his lap-top to his right.

"What am I doing?!" he cried as he swept it all to the floor in one swift motion.

I can't do this... Gazabouro's right! He's right!, "Gods, he's right!"

He reached into his desk for the one thing he knew would make him feel better and set it infront of him.

I can't... I told him... He stared at it for a while before giving into temptation and swigged every last drop, "Shit... why?!"

He rested his head in his folded arms and sobbed for what seemed like hours, eventually wearing himself out, and falling asleep.

"I can not believe you guys got banned from the store!" Honda laughed as Yugi told him the story, "What the hell happened?!"

"We... we were... Jounouchi-kun?"

"Yea, we were just, well..."

"Going to call you. And it's only temporary." Otogi interrupted.

"Call me? Why would you break the phone... wait, what exactly happened?"

"Kaiba-kun told us you were taking him to your place..."

"He told you?!"

"Don't be mad, Honda-kun! He just..."

"I'm not mad. Surprised, yea. Mad, no."

"We wanted to call you, but the girls wouldn't let us." Otogi said, eyeing Anzu as she entered the room taking a seat next to Yugi.

"How did it go, anyway?" she asked, eyeing Otogi back.

"Fine." he answered with a shrug. They waited for more details. Sensing this, he got up to leave, "It went fine. I got to go..."

They waited in silence for him to be long out the door and on the road before speaking.

"See?!" Otogi exclaimed, "There's something going..."

"We're leaving them alone, idiot!"

*sweat drop* "Fine... fine..."

"Sorry, Hiroto, he's not here." Ojiisan answered the door, seemingly very unconcerned, "We assumed he might still be with you."

"Uh... no. I dropped him off at the office last night. He wouldn't still be... would he?"

"It's possible..."

You have got to be kidding!, "Thanks, ojiisan. Later."

He went straight to the office. Looking around everything seemed normal. Everyone at their posts like nothing was wrong.

"Sakura-san...?"

"Honda-san! How are you today?"

"F-fine, thanks, but, have you seen Kaiba?"

"No. He hasn't come in yet. Really odd, actually..."

"Yea, since I dropped him off here last night!"

"Sorry, I don't know what to tell you..."

"What?! Well, have you even tried to page him?!"

"No. He doesn't like to be paged unless it's very important..."

"The fact no one has seen him all day isn't... anyone go up there?!"

"No. No one goes up there unless called or it's..."

"Very important... well, this is pretty important to me!" he exclaimed running for the elevator, What did you do, Seto? Why are you still here? Even you....

His train of thought was knocked off when the elevator doors opened to his office and other thoughts took over.

You wouldn't... you promised! You wouldn't... be with someone, would you?

He reluctantly opened the door, the sight of all the paper work and the lap-top scattered on the floor startling him.

Damn it! What happened... you did!, "You did it, didn't you?!" he cried, stirring the hungover CEO from his slumber on the floor; he had just missed the couch.

"Wh-what?" came the weary, slurred response from the floor.

Honda watched perplexed as Kaiba clung to the couch arms, trying to get up.

"What the hell happened here?! Why are you still here?!" Honda demanded.

"P-please, Hiroto-chan... keep... keep it down... uhg, my head..." he made it to the couch and flopped.

"Keep it down?! You're... you're hungover!" he knelt next to the couch just looking Kaiba up and down in disbelief, "Serves you right."

"P-please... sorry, I just... I can't do this anymore! Gazabouro's right!" he cried, grabbing hold of Honda and burring his face into his chest.

"You can't do what, Seto?" he asked a little calmer, trying to be as understanding as possible, "Why did you... how much did you have anyway?"

He followed Kaiba's finger in the direction of three empty bottles next to the desk.

"Shit... why?"

"Hiroto, forgive me, please... I can't..."

"You can't what? Quit? We can get you help you know..."

"No... this... Gazabouro's right..."

"So, what?! You want me to leave?! Is that it?!" he asked angrily.

Kaiba let go and lay back on the couch, then turned away and began to cry.

"S-Seto... look at me..."

Nothing.

"Please. Stop crying... help me out here..."

"I-I can't..."

"This does not sound like the Kaiba Seto I know... or anyone knows! 'I can't, I can't', what's that, huh?" he was trying to stay calm, but he could feel himself ready to burst. He knew Kaiba was a difficult person to deal with going into this, but he was a difficult person he just happened to fall in love with and so was not about to give up.

He managed to turn Kaiba around enough to could see his face; eyes red and bloodshot from not only a hangover, but he just topped it with heavy crying. He looked pathetic.

Kaiba Seto, the great CEO..., "Look at me Seto." he asked firmly.

"..." Kaiba was a bit taken aback by the "request" and tried to turn over again.

"Look at me!" he burst, startling Kaiba into submission, "Do you want me to go?!" he took his chin and forced him to look him in the eye.

"Would it be that easy for you?" he asked weakly, then slapped his hand away.

"?!"

"To just... go. Would it..."

"Shut up! Of course it wouldn't be easy for me!" he grabbed his chin again, forcing a rough kiss, then proceeded to pounce and pin him to the couch; taking full advantage of his weakened state.

"Hi-Hiroto... I..."

"Can you look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me?"

"?!"

"Can you look me in the eye and tell me you want me to go?"

Why is he doing this?! What is going on?! he instinctivly looked away, trying desperately not to cry again.

"Damn it! Look at me!" he yelled, shaking Kaiba back, "Answer me." he said a little calmer this time, having gotten the response he wanted; Kaiba wide eyed and spooked, but keeping eye contact.

"I-I don't... know..."

"You don't... listen to me; I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to. Can you? Since 'Gazabouro's right', can you honestly tell me to go?"

"N-no... I... I just..."

"You just what?" he said softly as he began gently kissing his neck and slowly unbuttoning his shirt, following each button with a kiss.

"H-Hiroto... no... stop..."

"Stop? Why?" he continued his kisses all the way to Kaiba's naval and back again to his neck; lightly flicking his tongue around his nipples as he passed, "You can't tell me you don't want me. And you won't tell me to leave... gods, you're so beautiful..."

Without realizing himself what was going on, he undid Kaiba's belt, slid it off and dropped it to the floor.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Frolicking on a beach... what's it look like I'm doing?!" he laughed as he began undoing Kaiba's pants.

"N-no... don't..." he tried to push him off, but was so weak from his hangover, he had little to no strength.

"Seto, I'm going to prove to you I'm here to stay. I'll never leave you unless you tell me to go, and since you can't..."

He easily slid Kaiba's pants off and dropped them next to his belt, then began fighting with his own.

"P-please, Hiroto-ch..."

"You're mine, Seto. I'm going to make sure you know it..."

Kaiba couldn't believe what he was hearing; Honda was becoming what he feared and hated most; himself.

I did this! This is my fault!, he couldn't shake it, fight it or ignor it; he had told Honda it was alright and to never apologize, but who knew he would take him up on it? And after how terrible he felt about it before, how was he going to react to this?

What have I done?! What happened to my Hiroto-..., "CHAN?! AH!!"

Without prepping or warning, Honda forced himself in.

Kaiba felt as though he were being ripped in half. And as feeble as his attempts were, as Honda drilled into him, he kept trying to push him off.

"C-cum... for me, Seto..." he said, trying to hold his own, which was proving difficult. Kaiba was extreamly tight and with no prepping, it felt wonderful.

"N-no! I can't! S-stop...!"

"P-please... I... can't hold out..."

"NO!" he cried as Honda could no longer control himself, released and collapsed on top of him.

"You... feel amazing..." he breathed into Kaiba's ear.

"You... you did it." he said meakly, then burst into tears.

"I did... what are you... crying about?! Seto-chan, what's wrong?!" he jumped off and quickly handed his pants and belt back.

"I... I wasn't..."

"I don't understand! You told me to never... you told me! I..."

"I know what I said, but, then I couldn't have made it any more obvious I wanted it by asking you to shower with me, but... but..."

"But this!", What the hell just happened here?!, "Oh, gods, Seto! You really did... you didn't... sorry, sorry!"

He scooped Kaiba up into his arms and held him close as they both cried into eachothers shoulders.I didn't... I didn't just... I couldn't! I couldn't have..., "Seto, please stop crying!" he begged, as he tried to stop himself, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean... I didn't want to hurt you! I lost myself! I didn't know what... sorry, sorry!"

He gently rocked him, trying to calm them both down and justify what he had done.

There's no excuse for what I did! I did it... I raped him!, "Gods, Seto, please! I'll never forgive myself! Gods, sorry!"

Kaiba gently pushed him away so to catch his breath. He watched as Honda staggered to the mess of papers, fell to his knees and began cleaning them up.

"W-what are you..."

"You broke this, you know?" he picked up the lap-top and shook it; all the small components falling into his quivering hand.

"Stop that. I have people to clean that up. And I can fix the computer..."

"I'll understand if you ask me to leave for real this time..."

"I never pretended to ask you to leave! I don't want you to..."

"No. I have to now. I hurt you... and, even... you were drunk and you had enough sense to stop when I pushed you off! There's no excuse for..."

"Yes, there is..."

"?!"

"Me. I told you it was alright to take advantage of me..."

"No, no! Not like this! The shower was one thing; the way you were bending over infront of me, lathering yourself up - feeling yourself up - ; yea, then you obviously wanted something! But..."

"Don't blame yourself, please..."

"I... I don't get you at all..."

"What do you..."

"You are aware of what just happened?! You are aware of what I just did to you..."

"I said stop blaming yoursef! Can't you just let it go?! You did when I almost took you! You forgave me! You told me to forget it! Can't I do the same?!"

"But you didn't do it! I told you to stop and you did! And you were drunk!! There's no excuse for me... there's... I have to go..."

"No! Please don't..."

"Sorry... I can't be here... I can't be around you... I'm not myself..."

"Hiroto-chan, I don't understand..."

"I'm not myself when I'm with you! I don't know who I am! As much as I love you, I don't like what I..."

"Me."

"What?!"

"You sounded like me. How I get... my "demanding" nature... that thing no one... no one, including myself, likes..."

"S-Seto... you... you don't like yourself? Then, if I'm sounding like you... you... I really have to go!"

Before Kaiba could protest or explain, Honda bolted out the door and into the elevator.

Then he was gone.

What have I done?! Have I lost him?!, was Kaiba's fear.

Honda on the other hand had several; Gods, anyone finds out about this they'll never forgive me! Course, they probably won't believe me anyway! This is wrong! This is so wrong! How could he want to forgive me?! If he hates himself, he can't possibly love me if he thinks I'm becoming like him!, "Shit..." he cried as he sped through the city to the one place he knew he'd be left alone; the very spot he and Kaiba had their first date.