Homelife

A/N:Sigh...took me so long...ugh. Just read my comments at the bottom, they say everything I think I need to about this chapter. It's odd, I always write my end chapter notes before my opening notes. Maybe I feel the need to apologize or explain myself by the ending? Deep.

Replies: There were so many I don't know what to say. I've never actually had a fic this successful, well besides Master which is dark and weird and I think my sanity snapped several times while writing it. (well, except for the part where Jou's dressed in leather. I like my Jounouchi in skin tight leather.) Anyways, you all have my gratitude and apologies for not updating sooner. I just got a job, so I have been busy. Thanks again all!

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HOMELIFE PART 8
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I'm not sure at what point I actually came up with this idea. Hell, I'm not sure why I ever thought it was a particularly good idea. It was one of those strange thoughts that come to you in the last few hours before dawn when the shadows seem to stretch too long on the floor and every minute clicks past painfully in your tired brain. Great imagery, huh?

Yes, to be perfectly honest, I was tired, sore and more than a little stoned. The pain hasn't been much, but the nightmares are hell, and I need a little medical assistance to get a decent four hour stretch of dreamless sleep. Not that any medical personnel is aware of their assistance, security not at all impressive and the drug closet being so terribly seductive.

As the final hours ticked down during my last night confined to this dreary little corner of disinfectant scented hell, I made my last trip to the closet and pretty much took whatever I could shove in my bag that I knew what it was for. Gang life comes through again, and I actually know what drugs do what. I've got a few uppers, a few downers, some tranqs, and to be perfectly honest, anything I think I could manage to sell in the street. Sure, it's a pretty dishonest living, but I'm going to have to eat some time. I also grabbed a hefty supply of ulcer medication, 'cause I'm not a complete idiot. Without those, I'd wind up in another hospital, and considering what I'm doing right now, I'd also be sent off to jail or something. I've faced that prospect before and found it less than enchanting. I thought after I started hanging out with Yugi my days of gleefully breaking the law and worrying about jail were over. Count on Dad to make sure it wasn't.

A few tired orderlies are lounging behind the desk that's by the door out of here, and I need et pet past unseen. I duck in the bathroom momentarily to slip my regular clothes on underneath my pajamas. Just in case I'm caught I can say I was hungry and going to grab something from the vending machines on the next floor. Personally, It'd be easier if no one saw me make my daring escape, the less people who notice I've vanished before morning bed check, the better. I need all the time I can get to work up my head start.

Finally, not really doing good in the bright ideas department, I wrench a metal paper towel holder off the bathroom wall. It comes off easily enough and I give it a few experimental hefts, judging it's weight. It's not that heavy, but the shape isn't all that aerodynamic, so I'm going to trust my luck rather than my less than stellar aim. For some reason I suck at throwing, my gym teacher always said it was a combination of not paying attention and a lack of hand eye coordination. I showed that teacher my hand eye coordination later that day when I punched the side view mirror off the side of her car. I broke my hand and was almost expelled, but it was worth it. The fine sure wasn't worth it though, how the hell did she think a mirror on a damn fifteen year old Toyota was that expensive? Bitch.

Back out in the hall, I slink along the wall until I'm as close to the Nurse's Station as I can get without being noticed. I make sure the door closest to me isn't locked, and then toss the towel holder in a spiral, sending it whooshing down the hall as far as I can. Lady Luck continues to love me. It hits the target on an angle, but it's enough, the whole tray of bedpans topples to the floor and I jerk backwards into the room, pressing my back to the small part of the front wall that isn't window.

"Huh...who're..."

The person in the bed is staring owlishly at me. It's a middle aged guy, he's got both legs in casts and one arm. He seems pretty out of it, so it's not a huge setback.

"Youthful mayhem." I shrug and peek out the door, watching the orderlies disappear around the corner.

"Oh, uh..." he sinks back to the pillow and starts snoring. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't even remember my impromptu visit come morning. I slip back out the door and close it softly before breaking out into a dead run for the doors. I slam into them slightly harder than I intended and go tumbling through, grabbing the wall as I reach a corner and skidding slightly, almost losing my feet. I windmill a bit and catch my balance as I race down the final stretch of hallway and reach the stairwell. I dart in and lean back against the door, breathing heavily. My head's spinning somewhat, dizzy and thrown for a loop from the sudden exertion and the fog of drugs clouding my head. Honestly, it feels kind of nice. With another pill or two I'd probably have collapsed giggling on the stairs. That's probably where they'd still find me hours later. I'm not that doped up though, so I know it's time to bail, and I fast track down the stairs to the bottom floor and out the emergency exit. It isn't rigged for an alarm or anything because it only opens from inside and this is where a lot of the doctors take smoke breaks. I noticed that a few days ago when walking around the grounds with Honda. Funny thing, I didn't even know why I was noticing back then, but it came in handy when I made my plan tonight.

The wind is pretty cold, but I'm wearing double layers still, which I better fix soon, 'cause I'm sure someone would notice me walking around in my pajamas at 4am. I'm wearing clothes underneath, so I just walk behind a bush and get rid of the extras. I stuff them in my bag, carefully folding my drug cache into them just in case. It's not fool proof, but I could do worse. I think it's also an 'out of sight, ou min mind' type thing. I'm not particularly proud of this part of my plan, but it's not like I don't have any experience in the business. I didn't do much drugs with the old gang, but I was usually the buyer, mostly because I was too cocky to worry about getting caught. It occurs painfully to me that my personal pride is really taking a beating, I'm basically throwing away all the good stuff I've felt about myself since being Yugi's friend, but I don't know what else I can do. I plan on surviving, and in the end, this is the part of me that knows how. This part's just been sleeping since I've been reprogrammed by Yugi, but it never left completely. How could it? The only real thing this part of me is good for is to survive, to make it one more day despite the odds. It's kind of refreshing in a scary exhilarating way.

I strap my bag back over my shoulders and take off in a random direction. This is the nicer part of town, and I haven't exactly spent a lot of time around here. I know the basic layout and how to get back to the more familiar. That nagging voice in my head tells me it's stupid to head to places I know, but where else could I head? Well, hell, wherever the road takes me. That's the point of this, after all, to just get the hell away from here. It sucks that I can't even stop to say bye to my friends hizuhizuka, but I can't talk to them anymore, I don't want them to see me like this again. I left a handful of letters tucked in my night table before I set up some pillows under my blankets to make it look like I was still sleeping. I tried to think of everything, but of course, I'm sure I forgot something. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I hope it's not enough to screw me royally somewhere down the road. No point worrying about it now when there's nothing I can actually do about it. My only objective right now is to get some place safe for the night, some place no one would find me for a few hours. I walk along some of the back roads in the ritzy part of town, not really worried, just trying to relax and stop my head from spig. Ig. I turn down a street I actually recognize and grin almost in spite of myself. Yup, I've only been here once before, but the memory was bad enough that I committed it to memory. This is Kaiba's street.

Am I a petty person? Yes. Undeniably so. Well, not always, but since I'm going away forever, how can I resist the urge to stick it to Kaiba one last time? It's not like he'll torment me over it at school ever again, or call me inu, or bonkotsu. This is just perfect. Finally I can engage all my little destructive tendencies towards pissing the hell out of Kaiba without fear of retribution. I sit on the curb and fish around in my bag for a minute, grabbing a few things and taking a couple of pills dry. They're chalky, but I think they kick in faster this way, so what do I care?

I'll have to admit right here that in retrospect I was the biggest idiot alive to even attempt this. I also somehow thought that it was a good idea. I still have no clue what led me to believe that.

Although my handwriting is normally pretty unintelligible, I take pains to make sure Kaiba will be able to read it. Every single offensive phrase and suggestion I know, which is quite a lot, and I signed each 'love Jounouchi', just 'cause it's funny. I rip the sheets out of my notebook, actually a tablet of hospital stationary I stole, and I jam his mailbox full of them, then I begin hanging them from all the spiny decorations of his gate. It somehow isn't enough, it lacks grandeur. He'd expect this sort of amateur shit from me, I need more. Well, not much I can do from this side of the gate, so in I go. It's not my most graceful fence hop, I wind up falling back on my ass and just staring up dazed at the sky for several long minutes. I eventually get up and brush myself off and lean heavily against the wall while my head goes into fits for a few. After that's done, I look around the silent grounds for his security systems, only sure of where about half of them are. I know his security is pretty tight, technology wise, but lacking in the human department. Trust issues much, Kaiba? He'd rather trust a computer chip than a person. Sums up why I hate him. I guess I just need people around me too much....Not that I've been letting people around me lately. Shit, I should shut up while I have a shred of self respect left.

It occurs to me that hurting Kaiba revolves more around hurting his technology. Well, unless I wanted to hurt Mokuba, but since I like the kid better than his brother most days, I'm not about to do that. Heh, Mokuba's probably got a better security system on his room than the entire house, considering how many deranged people get the idea to kidnap him. Didn't I just come up with that idea a second ago, myself? Oh well.

Though I'm not exactly techno-savvy, I have a certain talent for taking things apart, and not just with a bat either. I know where the first two security cameras are on his lawn, I think they only kick in when they detect motion, so I inch my way carefully along the wall enclosing the Kaiba Mansion and in behind the hidden camera. Kaiba should water his bushes better, I can actually see the cameras really easily. Perhaps he's slipping.

I've got a nail file in my bag, a tool that proved handy on the special closet at the hospital, so I use it like a screw driver and begin to pull apart the back panels on the cameras, humming quietly to myself as I go about it. I'm not sure how long I've been so far. My revenge is suddenly becoming time consuming, and I'm perfectly aware of how childish it is. I'm your garden variety street punk, it's not like I have a huge budget to work with here. I'm going to have to settle for the fact that it's a pretty damn petty annoyance, but it's mine and I'll gloat about it and exaggerate it every time I tell it.

After a while I have three more cameras in pieces, I even was nice enough to lay the parts out neatly on the lawn in rough semblance of how to put it back together. I also found two devices of unknown origin, they were fun to take apart though. I can't actually see anymore cameras or anything else that I can wreak revenge on. It's the worst form of petty vandalism, except perhaps for eggings and TP-streamers, but I start loading my pockets with rocks. If I can't think of anything better to do, I'm at least going out with a bang. Literally. Too bad I don't have any fireworks.

I make my way to the house slowly, working around the side of the estate, past several outbuildings, one of which is a garage, the other looked like someone dropped a solid cube down on his lawn. No door even. I break two windows in the garage and keep going. My aim isn't good, but the windows in the damn place are huge, I can't miss. Much. Conveniently, his car's in the driveway, it gets the window treatment too. Perhaps out of misplaced curiosity, I have to stop and peek inside. Surprisingly low tech, considering Kaiba's all consuming passion for gizmos. I flip the lock up and open the door, settling inside on the driver's seat, rummaging aimlessly. There's a few nice things, including a lighter and an anti theft bar. Oddly, enough, the bar isn't on the wheel, it's just laying across the seat. I grab a few things and climb out, not feeling particularly well. I'm going to finish up quickly and make a break for it.

I'd never really noticed before what a pleasant sound glass makes when it shatters. It's kind of tinkling, like music and rather pretty. I've got my own makeshift glass symphony going sooner or later.

"Fuck you Kaiba!" I scream at the top of my lungs, randomly casting a rock towards the left wing, where I think his bedroom is. "You can kiss my ass you bastard! This is for all the fucking times you've decided to humiliate me in public! For all the times you beat me down for no reason. I hate you!" I ran out of rocks and grabbed the anti-theft bar and wielded it like a club, bashing at the statues out back of the main house. I'm not sure really when I got switched around and wound up on the wrong side of the house, but my head is killing me and I just really want to hurt something about now. I manage to smash the head off a fairly ugly statue, it leame pme panting and weak and I sink down to my knees and look up at the headless statue with something resembling hatred. Rage, I guess, formless and pretty all encompassing right now.

"Proud of yourself, Mutt?" a snide voice asks from the back porch, and Kaiba's standing there outlined against the night, a deep red dressing gown swirling around his legs rather than a trench coat.

"Leave me alone." I tell the statue, not wanting to address it's owner directly.

"Just who here trespassed on whose property?"

I don't dignify that with an answer. "You deserve it."

"And what God made you Justice, inu?"

"What God made you think you own the fucking world and can do whatever you please to anyone? What God told you to spend your days tormenting me? What God fucking cares about me?" I growl. Now where did all that come from?

He laughed dryly, an arrogant sound. "I don't believe in Gods, Jounouchi."

Somehow, that makes sense coming from him. Kaiba really doesn't believe in anything. "How'd you know I was here, Kaiba?"

"Tracking implant." I whipped my head around and stared at him, eyes wide. He laughed again. "Do you really think that those obvious cameras have anything to do with my real security system? They're there to give criminals something tangible to focus on so that they feel they've disabled them and are safe. They don't even connect down to the monitors."

"Shit."

"You rather carefully disassembled a set of worthless cameras, though you seemed to be enjoying it."

"Yeah, I rather like taking things apart." I reply hotly, pulling my face back away from his intent gaze. I hate it when he watches me, it feels like his eyes are cutting me open and peeking inside. I have reasons to keep the inside hidden and out of view.

"I noticed." he shrugged and turned back towards the door. He tossed a casual glance over his shoulderes ses somewhat more distant than usual. "Aren't you coming?"

I sigh and pick myself up of the ground, giving myself only a cursory dusting off. Serves him right if I track dirt mud mud through his precious perfect house. So there. I follow him down the hall and into a small room, somewhat like a breakfast nook. He gestures to the table like he expects me to sit. I do so. What the hell else am I supposed to do? I just wish I'd left the bag with the drugs outside his estate. The cops are going to throw me in lock up for sure. "Tell me when they get here." I mumble, laying my head in my arms, using the table to rest on until I'm carted away. I'm such a stupid idiot.

"You assume I'm calling the pol I t I take it?"

"Well, duh." I snort, "That's what people like you do when people like me decide to do something stupid like trash your place. I only regret I couldn't think of anything more creative."

Kaiba grunted and poured a cup of coffee from the pot steaming in the maker and pushed it across the table to me. I thought somewhat bemusedly that maybe he turned it on to get hot while I was out destroying his house just for me, for when he dragged me in here. How thoughtful. "Considering how fucking high you are, I'm not surprised you didn't think of anything better."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he gave me a withering glance and I decided there was no point in trying to claim my innocence. I grabbed my bag and tipped it out over the floor, my clothing falling out and the pill bottles scattering and rolling across the floor. One rolled over and bonked lightly against his slippered foot, and he just stared at it like he didn't know what it was.

"These-- You aren't taking all these are you?"

I laughed, it was vicious and somewhat hysterical, but felt good. "I'm not that fucked up yet Kaiba. Most of this stuff is for selling."

"Oh, and that makes it okay."

"I'm not fucking proud of it, but I've got to make money somehow to survive. It's not like I have a lot of marketable talents, I'm a formerly reformed delinquent. I'm not much good for anything, so I'm going to have to purchase life on shitty terms. Sorry if that offends you and your values. Remind me how much money you have in your bank account again?" I tossed off angrily, pouring out more frustration on him than was probably warranted. Most of it was being badly aimed, but I wasn't really into painful personal truths at the moment. Bitching out Kaiba was more than mildly entertaining though.

"Fuck you too Mutt." he sneered and sauntered away the the hall, throughly ignorin tho though I was still sitting at his table gaping at him. Well really, you'd think with all his schooling he wouldn't have to be all that crude. Sure, I was acting that way myself, but as I pointed out myself, I was a street kid, so different rules governed our lives.

"What the hell was that for?" I screeched. I didn't mean to screech, but my voice managed to rise several octaves of it's own will.

"You obviously don't want help. You want to bitch and moan and make this somebody else's problem. You want to lay the blame on everyone else in your miserable life because you can't admit it's your own fault for letting your old man screw around with you. Literally." he shot coolly over his shoulder, eyes stormy and mouth twisted in a disgusted scowl. Normal Kaiba visage, though the words were a little more harsh than usual. "You want to make me your fucking scapegoat because I gave you a hard time at school, well fine. You think I haven't had to put up with bigger assholes in my day? Dump your shit on me if you want, but stop with the whining. I know you're really just a dog Jounouchi, but at least try and pretend you're a man." He finished walking down the hallway and disappearing into a door. I was spluttering and fuming in the kitchen, my vision red and head actually whirling in anger and pain. How fucking dare he!

I don't remember much about leaving except I smashed his coffee maker to smithereens. After I s I stomped away, making as much noise as possible and sending several plants toppling in my wake. My real problem arose from the fact that I couldn't seem to find the damn exit. All the stupid hallways looked the same, red carpeting with red drapes and a few evenly spaced tables and artwork. I was somewhat bemused by the thought of actually measuring the distances between the decorations, I'm fairly sure thmbermber would always be the same. Stupid Kaiba. I slumped down wearily against one unadorned wall and hung my head for a bit, hands laying limply in my lap. I wasn't sure how long I just sat there until Kaiba decided to come find me.

"Are you actually going to behave somewhat like a mature person, Mutt?"

I looked up at him with tired eyes and didn't answer, just using the wall to stand and look passively into his face. Why the hell would he bother to come looking for me except to make sure I got the hell out of his house. Why the hell should he even give a damn what happens to me? "Just stop. Please." I whispered, my voice barely recognizable to myself. "I'm so tired."

"At least you admit it now."

I looked at his eyes and for one of the few times in my life I didn't feel a chill run down my spine. I could swear I've only see him direct these kind of looks at Mokuba before. Kind of worried, but still strong, like he was in complete control and under his gaze all could be made well again. I knew for a second exactly why Mokuba could devote himself so much to his brother, defend him so hotly against those who would say he's heartless. I badly wanted to believe he really could make things okay again with just one well aimed icy gaze. In reality that was impossible, and also, there wasn't really a blessed realm of 'again' I could go to. My family would never be whole again. My friends wouldn't look at me like I was normal again. Again just doesn't exist. I foll him him wordlessly down the hall.

The bedroom he showed me to was dark but well furnished, though the neutrality of the decor told me clearly it was a guest room. I wondered how frequently Kaiba had guests. It was very likely that I was the first person to actually stay here. Strange thought. I never imagined staying another night in the Kaiba residence. The one and only time I had before, I stayed in a small servants room working off a dose of some poison. Mokuba was a precocious as they come back then. I still don't know how the hell he got hold of that shit and I don't want to know. I was curious to know whether or not the elder Kaiba had been aware of Mokuba's little game ahead of time, but it wasn't all that important and there were bigger things in the forefront of my mind.

Kaiba rummaged in the drawer near the window and pulled out a fairly nondescript set of pajamas and threw them at me. "I have my own." I protested lightly.

"They need to be laundered." he shrugged. "Now get undressed."

I shuddered and lifted my hands to pull my top off over my head when he made a small strangling noise in the back of his throat and my arms fell limp to my sides again. "Isn't that what you want?" I asked quietly, but I don't think he heard me as he crossed the room and went out the door. He was in another room just down the hallway making more noise than was probably necessary and muttering oaths under his breath. I crept close enough to hear what he had to say.

"Stupid Mutt. What the hell does he think he's doing? He's going to wind up killing himself if he doesn't fucking waking up." something fell to the floor and he swore again as he bent to pick it up. All his usual careful concise movements were gone, he was flinging stuff around like he was agitated and I knew I was just being a hassle. It would be better if I got out of here before he noticed. Then again, my last attempt to find the damn door had failed miserably. I leaned against the wall and wondered what the hell I should do next.

"What the hell are you still doing in your clothing?" he asked as he came striding out of the bathroom, a basin in one hand, the other hiking up the hem of his housecoat. I never liked the housecoat, this big red bulky thing with ridiculous furry white trim. Really, you think Kaiba would pick something a bit more masculine.

"I thought--"

"You thought wrong. Get into the pajamas I gave you. Open the door when you're dressed." he ordered and stopped expectantly like he was anticipating my complete obedience. Well, of course he did, because that's what I did. I wasn't in much condition to argue. I stripped my clothes quickly and clambered into the ones Kaiba had provided, white with blue pinstripes, slightly large for me, but not enough to be uncomfortable. I opened the door and he walked in and started putting a few bottles out on the night table along with the basin he'd used as a basket to carry all the stuff. "Sit."

I sat on the bed beside him and kept my eyes in my lap. He grabbed my arm roughly and dragged it into his lap, my body tensing and my head hurting. To my surprise he turned my hand palm up and just looked at it a moment. "What the hell did you do?"

I looked at my own hand to discover it was bright red and slightly blistered in places. I looked down at my left hand and it looked pretty much the same, though after a bit more inspection it wasn't quite as bad. I blinked several times and began to be aware of the fact that my hands hurt a bit. The painkillers must be wearing off by now. "I need my pills." I murmured absently, turning my hands over, back and forth, just staring.

Kaiba snorted. "Like hell. You can have two aspirin and that's it. What did you do to yourself?"

I thought back but it felt kind of fuzzy. "Coffeemaker. I think."

"Brilliant Jounouchi, fucking brilliant. Yll bll be lucky if we don't have to take you to the hospital to have these treated."

I jumped away from him and stood trembling and vacant eyed. "I can't go back."

He sighed and shook his head, brown bangs hanging in his eyes and he sat silently for a moment. "You stole those pills, ran away, and you somehow ended up here. Why the hell did you come here Jounouchi?"

I walked around to the other side of the bed and sat back down with my back to him. I laughed bitterly for a moment. "I needed to go someplace else, someplace no one would look for me. I was going to use the pills to pay my way in the world."

"But you came here instead." he said quietly, also coming around the bed to sit beside me. He took one of my hands gently and began to clean it carefully, using two creams before beginning to apply the bandages.

"Yeah. I'm not sure why. At first.. I don't think I meant to come here, but then after..."

"You went to the trouble of trying to vandalize my home like a hoodlum."

"I am a hoodlum..well, I was, once." I sighed and shrugged. "I wanted you to be mad at me and yell at me and call me a mutt. I couldn't go to any of my friend's homes, they don't look at me right anymore. Honda does, but...he expects too much of me at times. I just wanted to go somewhere and make things normal again. I hoped you'd get pissed off and we'd fight and things wouldn't be so strange."

"I think your plan went awry at some point." he said sardonically. My first hand was mummy wrapped and he stared ningning the other as we talked.

I laughed, a more genuine laugh than before, reminiscent of the old me. "Hell, if someone had told me last month I'd wind up sitting in Kaiba Seto's guest room being bandaged by Mr High and Mighty himself I'd have called them a fucking lunatic."

"Hmm."

I sighed and tried to run my right hand through my hair but it hurt and with the bandages it was awkward and heavy. It fell listlessly onto the bed again. "Sorry, didn't mean to call you that."

He nodded and placed my second bandaged hand back carefully in my lap and slumped a little on the bed beside me. "What happens now?" he asked, his voice sounding detached and distant.

I looked over at him carefully, almost studiously. After a moment he turned to look at me and though his light blue eyes were deep they were also far away from me at the moment. "I don't know." I said honestly. "I guess come tomorrow I pick up my bags and head out of town. I'm sure I can find some way to make it to Tokyo and there'll probably be something I can do there to make some money."

"Like selling pills?"

"If I need to, to survive. I have to pay my way somehow." I defended myself lamely.

"Why?"

I looked sharply at him but there wasn't any sarcasm or loftiness in his voice, just curiosity and almost, weariness I would say. "Because that's how it is." I shrugged. "We do what we can to survive."

He laughed at me, bitter and filled with dark humour. "Yes, I guess we do. You'll sell pills like candy to kids and justify it as your only means of survival."

I glared and said nothing.

"Not that I have the right to judge you. I forced a man to adopt me and my brother by cheating and drove him to commit suicide. I'm not the most stellar person in the known universe. At least I had the guts to take what I wanted on my terms. You're going to go out and prey on the weaknesses of other poor pathetic gutter trash like yourself and live hand to mouth. What a wonderful aspiration." he was still laughing, but it was off, no longer even dark and humourless. It was a sound devoid of any true feeling except despair. I wondered what on earth had made Kaiba into such a cynic. I know his stepfather was an asshole, but I don't think any of us really fathomed just how deep the hatred and abuse went between them. I had a feeling this dark cynicism was barely the scratching the surface.

"What other option do I have?" I asked, not fighting the current of depression beginning to fill the room, instead allowing myself to be carried off in someone else's emotional tirade.

"Nothing? What, do you expect me to hold all the answers Jounouchi? I don't have any." he stated simply and the look he gave me was totally empty. There was nothingness inside those eyes that stared holes into me.

"Why are you even trying to help me Kaiba?"

"Mokuba thinks you're a lot like me."

I just stared at that.

"Or maybe, it's like he think you're like who I could have been. In a twisted way I'm doing this for Mokuba." he laughed again. "Then again, I do everything for Mokuba, so it's hardly a surprise."

"I don't understand."

"Neither do I. I've never been able to understand you. I wasn't interested in trying. I thought you were a pathetic loser, a former bully who had become so tame he was subordinate to the wimpiest kid in school. You talk like street trash, you fail all your classes and live in the shittiest part of Domino."

"Thanks." I said sarcastically, crossing my bandaged arms over my chest and no longer enjoying this little foray into the depression of Kaiba.

"But every day you still showed up. Every fucking day. And you always wore a smile, always laughing and talking with your friends. I fought with you, insulted you, attacked you and still...minutes later you'd be smiling and laughing again like nothing could touch you."

"Nothing touches you either, Kaiba." I pointed out.

"Yes. I had to make sacrifices though. I have no friends, I made Mokuba and Kaiba Corp into my entire world. I was wrong, things do touch you, but you've found a way to live on and remain smiling despite everything that's thrown at you. I gave up on everything so that nothing could get to me again. I don't know how you made the compromise. I envy you that much."

My eyes goggled, I'm pretty sure of that. Kaiba actually envied something of me? Was the world coming to an end? Okay, considering that's almost happened a few times to my knowledge, it's not the best analogy, but if it weren't for the weird circumstances of my friendships, it'd fit.

"I think that's why Mokuba likes you. He thinks that if we'd never been adopted I wouldn't have had to block everything else out to survive. He sees in you the same things I do, your determination and drive. You thrive under adversity and continually surprise people. Had things been different I'd like to think I could have carried myself as well as you have." his eyes hardened again. "Although know we know things aren't like that."

"They never are." I replied simply.

"I don't like knowing what you've been through."

I stifled a laugh, my mind becoming tired and bemused. "Neither do I."

"That's not what I mean, Mutt." he growled. "It forces me to reevaluate you all over again, revise all my careful observations and opinions. I can't stand knowing about everything that's happened to you because I can't understand how the hell you could be such a happy person. I never saw you give up on the field, never saw you back down from anything and here you are, the passive mutt to your father's abuses. Yet, every day you turn up smiling like nothing's wrong, like nothing can touch you. I hate you for that. I hate you for being able to do that." his hands were gripped tightly into the sheets of the bed, almost shivering it seemed and his eyes were hot and filled with some unbearable emotion.

"I can't apologize. I was happy to be away, I was happy to be with people who really cared about me. I smiled because I was going towards the one thing in life I had to look forward to."

"Your friends." he whispered sadly, head falling to his chest.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell them the truth?"

"I couldn't hurt them." His head shot up and he looked at me sharply. "The truth would hurt them, and I'd be taken away and maybe never see them again. I had to stay close to them or else what was the point? I did what was necessary to keep them as a part of me. I never let my two lives touch each other. They were my outside life and my daddy was my homelife. I couldn't let anything happen to mix the two. I love them both so much." I realized I was crying and lifted my hands to my eyes, but the bandages kept me from wiping the tears away properly. Kaiba watched me silently, not saying or doing anything and I was thankful. It's one thing to cry in front of your worst rival, but to watch him try and comfort you...I couldn't stand that. "I can't do anything."

"You can stay here as long as you like."

I blinked back tears and looked into his eyes again, almost wishing his face would be a mask of sympathy or disgust, any reason to make me want to deny his offer. His face was blank and unreadable.

"I--I can't," I argued, defensive walls trying to raise back into position. "I won't just mooch off anybody. I have to make it on my own. I can't stay for free."

"Fine."

I blinked. "I don't have money though, I can't give you a cent unless I try and sell those pills and you don't want me to do that." I rushed on, excuses coming easily, but sounding lamen ten to my own ears. My mouth was fighting a battle my weary body didn't want to win. More than anything I wanted to sink back into this nice soft bed and sleep for once without having to worry about the next day.

He paused and looked thoughtfully at me for a moment and sighed. "There are other wto pto pay." he gave me an aside look and my body tensed again. "Agreed?"

I shivered and nodded. He sighed once more and stood, looking down at me, and I struggled to stand with him. He backed up a step and I walked into his chest, reaching up to drape my arms around his neck since my bandaged hands were useless to touch him in any meaningful way. I closed my eyes and tilted my face up into his, more aware than normal of the difference in our heights. I captured his lipftlyftly and ran my tongue lightly against him, trying to please him and be suitably submissive at the same time. His mouth opened only a fraction and then his hands wrapped firmly around my arms and disentangled me from his body, thrusting me away. He pushed me a little to hard and I flopped down heavily onto the bed, staring up at him, not understanding where I'd gone wrong. Should I have let him try to make me open my mouth first? Was I not being passive enough?

His eyes were wide and surprised and he was standing a lot more rigidly than usual, and considering Kaiba normally looks like there's a pole shoved up his ass anyways...hmmm...that somehow seems like an ill-timed analogy at the moment.

"Didn't I do it right?" I asked timidly, shrinking inward upon myself.

He didn't say anything as he briskly crossed the room and took a death grip on the door handle. "Goodnight Jounouchi." he said softly as the door swung closed and settled with a click. I idly wondered if he might lock me in, but his quick steps continued up the hall until I couldn't hear them anymore.

I was torn between screaming for him to come back and sobbing. In the end my body was too tired for either and I crawled to the head of the bed and slid down under the cool covers. I fussed with my bandaged hands, trying to cocoon deeper into the comforter and snuggle into their warmth and the pillows' softness. In the end I got most of what I wished. I was able to sink into bed and sleep well, but I couldn't help but worry about what ugliness tomorrow would bring.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~


To Seto Fans: I apologize for, well, everything. Balancing Seto in this chapter was TOUGH. I needed him to be a bit of a bastard at times and then also introspective and somewhat...gentle? It was probably the aspect of this chapter that made me constantly revise it the most. I hopefully didn't mangle him too much, and the different mood changes (which occur very suddenly) all make some psychological sense. He needed to be a bastard to prod Jounouchi in the right direction at times and introspective to deal with Jounouchi's own much needed self realizations.


A/N: Aha! After only seven versions I finally came up with chapter eight! You wouldn't believe how hard it was to come up with. I wasn't too sure of where I was going with this part at first ands had to redo it in several different directions. Draft one had Jounouchi intentionally head over to stay with Honda, and here in the final version he subconsciously wanders to Kaiba's. Strange how things turn out.
So, do you think this is now a Kaiba/Jou? Well, you might be wrong. This li aut authoress still doesn't know what the heck her puppets want. Jou's being so damn wishy washy in deciding.
Is this chapter a little overwrought? A little self indulgent? Perhaps just a little too philosophical and out there at times? Well, duh. Haven't you gotten used to me by now? I really did try to think of creative vandalism, but as you can see, I fell miserably short. I've lived the life of a veritable angel, I never once engaged in anything so much as TP'ing a person's tree. Sigh, there just isn't a riskne ine in my body.
Oh well. Hope you enjoyed, feel free to tell me so. (hint, hint) See ya!
~Ryanookami