Stepping Stones

Warning: Shonen-ai, possibly progressing to yaoi (though that'll be only on affnet~). This is an eventual prideship (SetoxYami) but it starts out as puzzle (YamixYuugi).
Disclaimer: YGO is not mine. I've taken a couple of lines from Loveless as well, which does not belong to me either. I make no money of fanficcing these.
Background: Not all bg info is placed out in the open...but the basic idea is that Mokuba Kaiba is dead (killed by Jounouchi) and that Seto has invited Yami and Yuugi to live with him because they cannot afford payments on their old apartment. Yami and Yuugi are lovers at present.
Dedication: To bahen and Shadow, both of whom know exactly how and when to kick me.

Interlude: Yuugi

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The affection of a prince, though easily won, is notoriously hard to keep.

He left. I can't believe he left me! After everything –

I know he doesn't remember, but I do, and he can't do this! If he keeps running, he will destroy us both again. He won't stay though…

Why?

I should have done it when I had the chance. Kaiba has been in the way too long. When we were in Egypt, he blocked me, and now he's doing it again. I should have killed him in Egypt. I nearly managed it in this life…

It was Duel Monsters Championship season. I had my chance, and I took it. Getting away from Yami for that week was hard, but eventually he let me go. It's just a good thing he wasn't there. He wouldn't have understood. I barely understood. But it needed to be done.

I thought it fitting that the hired man was Egyptian. A little bit of past. I hadn't…hadn't expected Shizuka. I told her what I was going to do, because she is incapable…was incapable of judging anyone. She just looked at me and smiled and nodded. Maybe she wasn't listening. She always got weird when Kaiba's name came up.

I never expected her to save his life.

Thank the gods Yami wasn't there. I had Jou's sister executed, if inadverdently. Thank the gods Yami always believes me.

"Shizuka saved my life."

As if.

I only wish Kaiba had been trying to kill me. I might have been able to rationalize spending money on his demise rather than on groceries, then. Always siphoning off a little..and even then it wasn't enough to pay Marik off. Bastard.

Yami was falling apart. There hadn't been anything I could do for him. He always did like to take care of me, though. I could still give him that.

If only Jou had been of more use. Then we wouldn't have ended up here, and Yami wouldn't be feeling the echoes of the past. It happens whenever he and Kaiba are together. There's only so much I can do to protect Yami. I know he sees his memories. I just hope he doesn't know what they mean. He'd be so upset if he remembered.

I couldn’t do that to him.

And now he won't even listen to me about Kaiba. We have to leave. Kaiba doesn't like me. I wasn't lying. Yami, Yami… Why won't you listen?

We have to go, or you'll break yourself apart again. I remember last time.

Last time, he killed himself to save a country. What is a country? Just land. The people could have escaped if he'd given notice. If he hadn't decided to battle. If he hadn't invited the sun god to inhabit his skin. So many ifs –

He died, and no one cared. No one except me…and now he's pushing me away for that selfish bastard that the high priest became. Yami…what did I do wrong?

XXX

Even with the door closed, I can hear Yami retching in the hallway.

I can hear him, but I can't move. It's his job to take care of me, to be the strong one between us. I can't break that. I'd lose him if I did. I'd lose him…and that can't happen.

Yami is mine!

I just have to find a way to remind him… Just get rid of Kaiba somehow. If Yami won't leave Kaiba, then I guess I will have to finish what I started. I have to find Marik again. Or his associate – that one living in Ryou's body…

I am decided. My legs wobble as I stand. There is no window in this room, but that hardly matters. In the time Yami has left me alone I have found the way out of every room. In the back of the closet is a gloomy staircase, made of sharp, steep stairs. I nearly fell down them when I first tried them out. I’m better now. It's the work of mere moments to go down them to the first floor.

I had to find out how far and how long. I love Yami, but sometimes he can't do what I need. At least Jou could. He's been less responsive lately, though. The last time I was at his place, he was dead drunk and raving.

He's afraid of Kaiba. If he had the guts, he would run and keep running. But there's a crack in him. Kaiba found it and warped Jounouchi.

The crack was wide open. It made Jou a good partner. I suppose, though, that Kaiba has found him by now. If Jou's ranting wasn't idle fears, he's probably dead.

XXX

The kitchen is empty. This whole place is so empty. Is this what Yami wants? Emptiness and a bastard's personality? What's so attractive? I know…the two of them have done things. I saw the marks from the first time, and I knew then that I really was losing Yami. But he's gotten better at hiding, I guess.

Why is the kitchen so fucking empty?

I can't stand this place. It will destroy Yami. I can't leave him here. It's dark out. That's not too much of a problem. It's nearly always dark when I go to visit Jou. And there's a flashlight here somewhere too…

Might as well check on Jou. If he's still in one piece, maybe he can take the edge off this tension. And if now…maybe his corpse will convince Yami to leave Kaiba.

I'm running out of ideas.

The door opens and closes pretty quietly, and I'm outside. It's chilly. I guess I could get a jacket… Inside and out again. That's better. At least I'm warmer now. The walk to Jou's house is long. I don't know if Yami ever woke up to an empty bed and questioned it, but I doubt it. Once he's asleep, he stays asleep until morning. And even then, waking him up is difficult.

The road is mostly deserted.

There are candies in the jacket pockets. It probably was Mokuba's coat. How sick is Kaiba, that he keeps his dead brother's coat? He has issues.

I drop one candy every hundred steps. I feel like I'm in a fairy tale; the little boy who throws breadcrumbs on the way into the forest. Birds eat the breadcrumbs in that version. I wonder if anything will disturb my dropped candy bits. Probably not.

XXX

I step onto the bridge. I love this place. Some nights I don't even make it all the way to Jou's house. I just stop here, and stare up at the stars. The side of te bridge is low…just high enough to show where the edge is, not enough to prevent falling.

Down below, water swirls. I wonder if Kaiba can swim. I'd push him in. That would be as good a way as any to get rid of him. The water must be icy. For someone as freakishly thin as he is, it wouldn't take long to freeze to death. Or freeze so he can't move. Maybe the fall itself would kill him.

The world would be better off. The only thing halfway decent about the Kaiba household was Mokuba's existence, and now that that's gone…

I step up onto the bridge's side, arms out for balance. I feel like a god, standing in darkness with the rushing water below, the stars above and crisp, still night air rushing into my lungs. I step forward. Once, twice. The stones are slick. I close my eyes for the next dozen steps…then jump.

My feet land on solid ground. I turn back to the bridge and smile. Not tonight.

I turn to go –

"Yuugi!" I whirl at the sound of my name, that voice.

"Y-Yami?" What's he doing here? And how –

The candy in my pocket is gone.

"Yuugi, come back here," Yami calls to me. He sets foot on my bridge. My bridge. He can't be here. I don't want protection now. I came here to find Jou, to be properly appreciated –

"I was so worried," he murmurs. His arms are over-warm as they envelope me in a hug. I stand there, limply, unable to muster the energy necessary to hug back, even though I know it's the right thing.

"Are you all right?" Yami asks, even as he checks me over. I wonder if he saw me leave the house. I shouldn't have stopped and gone back for the coat.

"I'm fine."

It's like he hasn't heard me. Yami keeps touching me, hugging, cradling, like I’m something precious. I know the past, Yami, and I know that I am nothing precious. I am your god, your master! And yet you refuse to listen to me.

"Get rid of Kaiba-kun."

He stares at me, then shakes his head slowly, gathering my body closer to his. "No, no, aibou. You don't mean that." My inability makes him happy. He croons to me, dismissing what I said. Whatever I say, it's the same.

”Yami," I press, pushing him back enough so I can look him in the eyes. "Yami, get rid of Kaiba-kun. For me. Please, Yami. He's taking you away from me."

Disbelief crosses Yami's face. It's laughable. He didn't think I knew? I know. I always know. Everything.

"You think Kaiba's…Yuugi, Yuugi, aibou, no – "

Words. I know. I forgave him before it happened. I know he can't help it. The past pulls on the present. But I won't let it keep happening. I won't let him go back to his priest.

"Yami – kill Kaiba-kun."

"What?" Yami shoves me away suddenly. Murder is no light decision. Maybe it's too much to suggest Yami kill Kaiba.

"Let me."

Or he'll destroy you again, Yami. Mou hitori no boku. You are mine. You know you are.

He's stalling for time. He can't just agree. I know he can't, but the refusal to admit the truth hurts all the same. I want him to see this with me now. He would understand, if he knew, I think, but it's too much for him. I can't…

I should, but I can't. I can't stand to hurt Yami.

"Let me kill Kaiba-kun," I beg. Yami looks disgusted. I hit him. He looks shocked, but I did get his attention. His real attention.

Not this fake smile he puts on, like he's listening when I know really, he isn't. The façade is gone. He sees me now. Maybe for the first time.

We've lived together for years. He used to be me…and this is the first time he's actually seen me?

I can't help it. I hit him again. But he catches my wrist so I don't. He tries to hug me. I won't let him.

Again he tries. I scream in his face, then laugh, and step backwards, away. "Kill Kaiba-kun!" yell at him. Tears are on my face. I always cry when he's around. I can't seem to help it. "Kill him, Yami!"

"Aibou – "

"Mou hitori no boku," I sneer back. "Killhim."

"No!" Yami screams back.

I have to laugh. If I'd know this is what it takes, I would have done it ages ago. Fire burns in his eyes. That fire died when he stopped dueling. And it only really burned like this when he was facing down Kaiba. Now it burns for me. And only me.

He is mine.

I laugh again, or maybe I never stopped. Yami's eyes are glowing angrily. I scream some more, and order him to get rid of – no…destroy Kaiba.

And then it happens.

Yami's calmness snaps. He's alive again. Maybe it has something to do with the little pieces of memory that have slipped through. Violence was in all of them.

His hand rests on my chest, and his eyes are on mine. There is no sanity in him. I remember that look from our first time. Our real first time. My body welcomes it. He will pull me close and –

I stumble back.

Yami is farther away, and his eyes are no longer perfect. He is lunging forward, and his hand reaches for me.

Falling…

Takes forever.

And then it's cold.

So cold.

I'm…so –

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Author's Notes:
Yuugi – So, Yuugi's personality skips just about everywhere, and he's contradicting himself all over. That's mostly on purpose. He's got screw loose. Bahen's theory is that killing himself in The Claiming Rite addled his brains. I tend toward the idea that knowing EVERYthing, considering himself a pseudo-god and experiencing separation anxiety/fear fucked him up. Either way…he's not right. And I hope this answers most of the questions and ties up a few other loose ends.