Homelife

A/N: Well, it's been a bit of a longer time since last chapter, but I had a lot of problems coming up with this one. There were several versions, none of which I was happy with. In the end I came up with this last night and just finished writing it all down. I hope you like it. I tried to make it longer than my previous chapters to make up for the long wait I put you all through. I was just having difficulty writing, though I did post one Jou/Varon last week that hit me suddenly. I'm like that, I need sudden inspiration to hit so I can go to work. Anyways, enjoy and review please!!

Disclaimer: I'm still not owning any of this. 'Nuff said?

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HOMELIFE Part 7
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"I'm not going to talk to you, you realize that, right?"

"Of course. You don't have to say anything you don't want to."

"I don't plan on saying anything at all."

He smiled slightly, a comfortable look of smug superiority. It set my teeth on edge. "I'm just here for you if you want to talk."

I gritted my teeth and crossed my arms angrily across my chest. "I don't want to talk. Not at all. Nothing to say. Am I making myself clear?"

"You say an awful lot for one who doesn't want to talk."

I scowled darkly. Stupid psycho-babble. "Fine, I like talking, just not about this. I have no desire alk alk about it."

He blinked suddenly and leaned back, his face confused. "What exactly is 'it', that we're not talking about? I'm a little lost here." He scratched thoughtfully at the back of his head and stared myopically at the sheaf of papers in his lap.

"My father, you idiot, the whole sex thing. Damn it, they get me a shrink who's even stupider than I am." I muttered darkly.

"We're here about your father? Why?"

"Oh Damn it to hell," I roared and stood up suddenly, pacing before the couch. "I thought doctor people like you actually bothered to find out about your patients before you hijacked them!" I stopped in front of him and glowered down at the slight man. He looked to be in his mid thirties, with thick glasses and a bad hair cut. His hands were well manicured I noticed, which for some reason irritates me. I've always been one of those people who has to do real work to get by, I hate people who do so little that they have time to sit around and get a manicure. Well, okay, a manicure isn't that bad, Anzu gave me one once. I think I fell asleep, 'cause there was no way I gave her permission to give me the pink nail polish too, and the little heart stickers. Girls can be really sick sometimes.

"Sorry, I'm really new at this." he apologized, trying to look sheepish.

I flopped back onto the couch and slouched down so I was almost reclining with my feet propped up on the table. They'd finally gotten around to giving me hospital scrubs to wear, so I thankfully wasn't flashing anything. "Am I supposed to take it that my problems rate so little that they give me an incompetent to council me? Geez, that really bolsters a guy's self confidence. Maybe they figure I'm so screwed up a newbie can't make me much worse."

"Well now really, in my defense--"

"Oh shut up and just listen, that's what they're paying you to do. Hopefully you can't mess that up." I shook out my hair and stared up thoughtfully at the ceiling. "Things were pretty good for a time, you know? My mom still lived with us and I had my sister to take care of."

"You like to protect your sister?" he asked, making little jottings with his pen and pad.

"Well, yeah. It what big brothers do. I tried to help my mom take care of her, and I liked to take her places and show her stuff. I guess a lot of people don't like having their kid sister or brother tagging along after them, but I kinda liked it. I liked to be the one showing her new stuff and teaching her things. I probably wasn't the best teacher for her, but we had fun and got along well, so it was good."

"You sound like you really love your sister."

"Of course I do, she's reall--HEY!" I exploded, sitting up and perching along the edge of the couch. "I don't mean like THAT! Damn you damn shrinks. You're trying to make it like--I'm not that sick!"

He blinked again and looked perplexed. "No, I wasn't insinuating anything. I just thought it was nice that you love your sister and liked to take care of her. Nothing wrong with that." he started scribbling on the pad again.

"Fine," I sighed. "So I'm a little paranoid about what you're reading into this. I don't like shrinks."

"Could you stop calling me that?" he begged plaintively.

"Will you stop writing everything I'm saying in that stupid book?"

"No, it's part of my job--"

"Fine, your choice, shrink." I shrugged. "Anyways, like I said, things were good. Then my mom left."

"Do you know why?"

I eyed him suspiciously. "Is this a trick question? She had her reasons I guess, my father's tendency to become an abusive drunken bastard was probably foremost."

"She took your sister with her, but not you?" I grunted and nodded, not really feeling like dignifying that with an answer. "Did sher ter tell you why?"

"I've talked to my mother only twice since she left us."

"That's not really an answer. As I understand she was here the other day. Words were exchanged...?"

I sighed and turned to face the window. "Yeah, she was here..."

-----*

"What's happened to you Katsuya?" she said finally, her tone defeated and her eyes gone flat and hard.

I scowled back at her and shrugged. "Gee, pretty much everything, I'd say. Not much I can confess to be innocent of by now."

-----*

"What happened during her v?" ?" the doctor asked, watching me curiously, dark eyes staring out over the rims of his glasses.

"My mother and I don't exactly get along that well."

-----*

She flinched back from the words as if they were a blow, and by god I meant for them to. "Katsuya," she chastised, but I ignored her.

"Let's see, I've been taken to jail several times, had the shit kicked out of me, tried pretty much every drug known to man and I gue'm 'm no longer a virgin. You really missed all my firsts, Mom."

-----*

"I'm sensing some issues between you and your mother, am I right?"

I laughed bitterly "You went to school for seven years to figure that out? Geez, that was money well spent. You're damn observant."

"You're a pretty obnoxious person, you know that, kid?"

I laughed lightly. "I've been told that before. Nah, just, after mom left us I just let her take all the blame for things going down the tubes. She wasn't around to bitch about me taking it all out on her, so it was pretty convenient."

"Ah. What happened between you the other day, when she visited?"

"I said a lot of dumb things to try and hurt her."

"If you know that, then why did you do it?"

I closed my eyes tightly.

-----*

"Katsuya, how can you just say such things?"

"What else do I have to say?" I shrugged. "Isn't this what you came to talk about? I've spent years waiting to see just when you'd actually come to see me again, what would make you take an interest. Personally, I'd have wagered on my funeral being the big event, but heck, it almost was, wasn't it?"

I steeled myself and looked back into my mother's face, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. "Why did you come, Mother? What made you decide to come see me now?"

She coughed uncomfortably and pulled a chair over to my bedside, sitting down gingerly at the edge. "We have things we need to talk about, Katsuya."


-----*

It wasn't a pleasant memory the shrink was making me pursue. I wish she hadn't come to see me, wish she'd been smart enough to stay away. It's not like we'd ever gotten along before, why did she think things would've changed now?

When she visited, for some reason it was painful when she used my name, it brought back too many memories from childhood. Except for the few times it was just me and Shizuka, I tried to block most of my childhood out. It was easier to concentrate on surviving the present if you could forget about the happiness you might've lost along the way. In my case though, I'd had that happiness ripped away when Mother left with Shizuka.

I knew I still resented her for taking my happiness away and leaving me out alone.

-----*-----


"What do we have to talk about?"

"What will happen next, what's going to happen."

I shrugged and slumped back into my pillows, crossing my arms over my chest. "Were you put up to this?" I asked her directly. "Did some welfare councilor come tell you to talk with me?"

"Yes, one did. They said you refused to talk with them."

"I know that, I did refuse."

"Why?" She asked.

"Dunno. I don't want to think about what's going to happen."

"You have to," Mother interjected.

"Duh. I know that. I don't want to dwell on it yet though."

"You can't stay here in the hospital forever."

"I know that."

"You're saying that an awful lot."

"I know that." I said somewhat smugly.

"Damn it Jounouchi, you are so much like him, just being stubborn for stubborn's sake! You just had to go and pick up all his bad habits--"

-----*

"I don't know." I shrugged, staring at the sky outside the window, watching the birds flutter past and out of reach.

"You don't know?"

"Does it really matter?" I whined, giving him a brief look that I hoped would let him know I wanted to drop the subject.

"I think it matters a lot. Your relationship with your mother needs to be dealt with."

"I'm here about my father, remember? Shouldn't we be talking more about him?" I suggested.

"You blame your mother for leaving you behind, leaving you with him...shouldn't that be dealt with first? Why did you try and say mean things to her?"

-----*

Fire flashed in my eyes and I could hear how my knuckles cracked from the pressure as I squeezed down tightly on my arms. She ad stopped talking suddenly, her eyes wide and almost scared. She realized she gone and said something monumentally stupid.

"Get the fuck out of here." I whispered.

"Katsuya, I didn't mean--"

"Get out."

"Kats--"

"And don't use my name. Leave me alone. You didn't want me then, how could you possibly want me now after he's put his mark on me? You stopped loving him years ago and I got included somehow. I'm his now th, so, so you finally have an excuse to hate me too. I don't want to see you."

Her eyes were hurt and frightened and a small part of me said I'd gone too far. Of course, another part ranted and screamed that I hadn't gone far enough. "After you left he was nothing, he was lonely and I was all he had. You gave me to him, mother. You knew what kind of person he was and you left me alone with him." I twisted the knife deeper in her soul, some dark part of my heart satisfied that she had started to cry, that I could see and feel her pain. It was terrible and petty to delight in her anguish, but after all the years I had hated her it felt rewarding to know she felt as much hurt over our past as I did.

-----*

"I want her to hurt." I whispered quietly, not trusting myself to admitted it any louder. I couldn't look him in the face and say such a horrible thing, even though I'd already admitted it to myself. "I wanted to see it. I wanted to watch her cry and gloat over the fact that I'd caused it, okay? Does it make you happy to know what a fucked up bastard I am. I wanted to make my mother hurt. Satisfied?"

"Were you?"

"Was I what? Satisfied? No."

-----*

I realized that I was standing, looming over my mother who was cowering in her chair and I came to my senses.

I blinked back sudden unexpected tears and slumped down heavily to the bed. "Sorry," I breathed quietly, one of my hands running through my hair in confusion. "I guess you're right, Mom, I am like him."

-----*

"No," I repeated dismally, resting my chin on the back of the couch and ing ing deeply. "Of course I'm not satisfied. Making her hurt didn't take away anything that I feel, it doesn't make anything better."

"Good. I'd be more worried if you didn't already understand that."

"Despite what you may think, I'm not a complete asshole."

"Yeah, there might be hope for you yet," he smiled slightly and leaned back in his chair.

"Thanks."

"Free of charge, kid."

"You're not as dumb as you let me believe, are you?"

He laughed deeply and slapped his hand on his thigh. "You wouldn't believe how many kids fall for the dumb doc routine. Most people don't just like to t tat talking about themselves and their problems. Everything comes out easier with a hearty dose of anger. Or alcohol, but that leads to a whole new set of problems."

"Yeah, I know. Dad likes to solve things with a helping of booze. I don't see how it helps him get out any of his problems though."

"It is, just not in a healthy way. Why do you think he would hit you? It's his way of taking out his problems."

"Seems like a pretty shitty way to deal with what's bothering you." I sneered and crossed my arms across my chest again.

"Is it really all that different from how you treated you mother?"

-----*

"Do you think we could stop this and just try to get along for now?" mother pleaded, her hands gripping fast to the arms of her chair.

"No. We'll never get along. That was decided years ago."

"You never wanted to get along, Katsuya."

"You never wanted me period."

"Why must you act so childish?" she demanded waspishly, the corners of her eyes creasing in anger and frustration.

"I'm anything but. I prefer to think of myself as a realist. I had to pass by a lot of my childhood so that I could take care of him."

"When did he start--" she trailed of uncertainly

"Start what? Beating me or fucking me?"

Her eyes went hard for a moment before giving up and softening again. "Everything, Katsuya. Id tod to hear it all."

-----*

"Fine, so I'm an immature bastard." I admitted irritatedly. "I wasn't behaving any better than my er. er. I'm scum."

"You shouldn't say things like that."

"What? You all but said it yourself all of ten seconds ago!" I exclaimed in protest, throwing my hands in the air.

"No, I think it was a childish way to behave, but I do at least understand your reasons. You have a considerably better reason for taking your anger out on her than your father does on you."

I blinked. "Uh, okay...thanks?"

"Don't thank me yet. You're going to have to give up blaming your mother and forgive her someday."

"No. Topic closed."

"Really, Jounouchi-san, you'll never get any better if you keep hating her."

"You don't understand, you don't get it."

"I would if you'd help me."

"I'm not falling for the innocent act again."

"What has your mother done to you directly that makes you hate her so much?"

"Other than leaving me behind?"

"Perhaps she thought it was better for you to stay with him. She couldn't predict the future, she didn't know what might happen. You can't hate her for something she couldn't foresee."

"Wanna bet?"

"Has she ever done something directly to hurt you?"

I shut my eyes again and blocked out his voice, but I could still hear that yammering falsely sympathetic tone hammering away at my mind. I wanted him to shut up and go away, but I knew without answers he wouldn't leave.

"She doesn't want me!" I screamed, jumping up from the couch and kicking the table across the room. "Don't you get it? My own mother refused to take me in!" I felt myself fall heavily to the floor and I pulled my legs up to my chest, wrapping my arms around myself protectively. "She was asked to take me in and she said no. My mother doesn't want to take care of me. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"I'm sorry Jounouchi-san, I was only--"

"Please go away now. I'm done talking today."

"Okay, we can continue tomorrow if you're feeling up to it. Sound good?"

"Yes. Sounds fine." I whispered and stood uncertainly, walking stiffly to the door, my face kept passive and blank.

"Okay, take care Jounouchi-san." he called after ma and I just raised one hand slightly, in a lazy mocking of a wave.

I closed the door to his office softly and padded up the hallway on bare feet, the cold floor feeling numbingly sweet. I could see the guard to my room up the hall beside my door and I decided not to go back to my room. I didn't feel like sitting around alone in my bed feeling like a damn prisoner. I felt distinctly glad I'd never actually wound up in jail. It would've driven me crazy.

I sighed and ducked down a side hall and into the bathroom, fishing a bottle of painkillers out of the pocket of my scrubs. Looking in the mirror I could see my face was paler than usual and my body seemed more gaunt than the last time I looked. I pulled up my shirt to see that my ribs were clearly outlined against the whiteness of my flesh. I looked moderately horrible and decided that deserved two pills at least. My former hobbies as a delinquent had given me a definite advantage against my nurse brigade, and the lock on the medicine closet was hardly a challenge.

I shook out two pills and scooped a handful of water from the tap to wash them down. I lifted my shirt again and patted my face dry before leaving the restroom again. I decided not to willingly stand in a room with mirrors again for a while if I could help it.

"Jounouchi!" a voice called out behind me and I paused, but didn't turn around. It was better to ignore such things and continue on down the hall. I didn't feel like having more visitors after what had happened the other day with my mother.

"Jounouchi, please wait!" the voice called again, and I slumped defeatedly against the wall, the pills thankfully takine rae rapid effect that was promised on the packaging. I let myself slip down to the floor and slouched there while the footsteps rushed quickly towards me.

"Please go away," I sighed quietly.

"Jounouchi-kun..." he replied sadly, and I was pretty sure he wasn't going to walk away so easily. I looked up into wide violet eyes that were shimmering with unshed tears. Another person who found me pathetic enough to cry over.

"Yugi." I said simply, trying to hoist my tired body back to my feet without mucccesccess. Despite being half my size and no where near strong enough he tried to help me and wound up fall on top of me. I smiled despite that, and helped him back to his feet, then used the wall to pull my own way back up. "C'mon, my room's this way." I said, signaling him to follow with one hand as I continued my march down the hall.

We entered my room and I flopped backwards on the bed, snuggling up gratefully to pillpillows I'd hijacked from empty rooms to fill my own. He sat down in the small chair by the bed and played absently with the puzzle, carefully keeping his eyes away from me.

"Am I so horrible you can't even look at me?" I asked lightly, but his face came up shocked and sorry. "I didn't mean that," I tried to smooth over, but he looked unconvinced. "I know it's not that."

"Do you?" I watched him in confusion. "Is that why you aren't letting anyone come visit other than Honda?"

"Oh god," I groaned, my eyes flitting up to the ceiling. "I told the idiot to keep his damn mouth shut. What the hell did he say?"

"He didn't say anything, just that you didn't want any visitors."

"If you knew I didn't want visitors then why did you come?"

"Because we had to see you."

"We? I take it Mou Hitori no Yugi is hanging out being invisible around here?"

"Yes."

"I'm really not into the whole being watched by an invisible guy right now, okay?"

Yugi turned his head for a moment, and I was pretty sure he was trying to be more diplomatic with the spirit than I had been. When Yugi looked back at me his eyes were fiercer and I guessed that to keep Yami happy he'd given him control.

"Jounouchi," he said softly, nodding slightly to me. This is a guy I could get to like at a time like this. No babbling, no wasted words. A whole bunch of golden silence. "How do you feel?"

I thought about it for a moment, he'd ask again if it looked like Iwerewered too quickly. "I think I'm okay."

He nodded again and crossed his legs, leaning back comfortably in the chair. "Aibou refuses to talk with me about you. He said you were sick, but you look fine to me."

I sat up, startled by that. Yugi hadn't even told his spirit what was going on? Why would Yugi not tell Yami what had happened? Was it that horrible? I wasn't sure if he expected me to tell Yami, or if he didn't want the spirit to know at all. "I'm not sick."

"Then why are you here? Why aren't they letting you go home? If they are saying that you've done something wrong--" the spirit's eyes flashed dangerously and I couldn't help but grin slightly.

"Nah, it's okay."

"They have someone watching you, are they trying to keep you from leaving?"

"You could say that," I replied evasively, but his eyes were hard and he wasn't about to let me get away with half answers. "They're just trying to keep me safe, that's all. Nothing's wrong."

"If they are keeping you against your will then we should do something about it."

I began to grasp why Yugi might not have told Yami what was going on, his first instinct might be to go and mind crush my father. "I'm not here against my will."

"Please tell me what is going on, since aibou will not let me know...I'm worried." The spirit confessed reluctantly.

"It's better if you don't know."

"Jounouchi, if this is something you could share with Aibou, why will you not tell me?"

"I didn't share this with Yugi," I protested. "I didn't share this with anyone. I'd be a lot happier if people would leave me alone and mind their own business."

"Jounouchi-san," a chirp voice called and peeked into my room, bright eyes bouncing between Yami and myself. Midori pushed the door open and walked in with a tray that probably was my dinner. She pulled over the table that slid across my lap and set down the platter on it. I pulled off the lid and was happily surprised to see real food. They were only just beginning to give me solids again. Apparently mush was better for my digestion before, though how I can digest something I won't even eat is beyond me. Flavoured mush is definitely lacking any redeeming value.

"Thanks," I grinned and grabbed up the chopsticks, shoveling happily into the rice curry, one of my favourites. She laughed politely and took a pill bottle from my night stand and tapped two out into her palm.

"Okay, take these with your meal and we'll be good to go, okay?"

"Umph." I agreed around a mouthful of food, gabbing the pills and washing them down with the juice she'd provided with my feast.

Yami sat in sullen silence the entire time the nurse fussed over me, his eyes staring holes into the wall. "If you are not sick than why is she here?" he asked moodily, arms still folded and his back still stiff.

Midori cocked her head to the side and glanced in my direction, I returned with a hard look of my own. "Jounouchi-san just need a bit of taking care of. He'll be fine soon." she said, though I noticed her chipper tone had fallen.

Yami growled in frustration and fell silent again. My entire meal passed that way and finally Midori took my tray away, casting one last disapproving glance in my direction.

"I take it you aren't planning on telling me what's going on?"

"I can't. If Yugi wanted you to know, he'd have told you."

"Aibou is upset. Whatever is going on, I don't think he can talk about it. Whhtever happened must be bad, or else he wouldn't be having such a hard time." the spirit concluded, still looking intently at the wall.

"I'm tired, you should go now."

"Why are you trying to chase us away?"

"I told Yugi I didn't want company. It's not my fault he can't listen."

"You aren't behaving like yourself Jounouchi, what is wrong with you?"

"Shut up." I growl"Yo"You don't know me, so don't pretend like you do. I'm behaving exactly the way you want to behave, if you don't like it then leave. We'll both be happy that way."

Yami scowled darkly and a second later his amethyst eyes turned soft and I could tell it was Yugi staring at me now. "Jounouchi, why did you have to make Yami upset? He's just worried about like I am."

I snorted derisively. "Yeah, sure. You couldn't even tell him what's wrong. No wonder he's upset."

"Jounouchi, I'm just trying to be here for you!"

It stung to hear the catch in his voice and I felt bad for trying so hard to make him run away from me. I hung my head. "Sorry Yugi. I'm just not feeling like myself lately. I don't want to talk about this and it's all everyone else wants to talk about." I laughed lightly. "Well, except my shrink, he rather try and deal with my 'mother issues' than with what's happening now."

"I'm sorry, I just needed to come and see you. I had to make sure you were okay. I know you're not, but I mean--"

"It's okay. I know what you mean. I'll be fine. I'm just not up to talking about stuff right now, okay?"

He smiled sadly. "Yeah, I get it. I'll come see you again another day. Not to talk, but just to see how you're doing, okay?"

"Okay. See ya, Yugi."

"Bye, Jounouchi-kun." he waved slightly and hoisted his backpack up further on his shoulders, walking quietly out of the room and closing the door behind him.

I sighed thankfully when he was gone and pulled the little bottle from my pocket, popping two in my mouth and chasing it back with more juice. I took a deep breath and turned out the light, rolling over on my side and looking out the window and into the darkening twilight.

I was startled by a pair of rough hands grabbing me from behind and pulling me off the bed. My elbow hit the ground hard and flared in sharp sudden pain. The hands grabbed at me firmly, wrenching at my body and tearing my clothes. I could smell the nauseating stench of alcohol flooding my senses, and could hear his voice laughing softly at me as I struggled.

I kicked at him but could seem to connect to flesh. I whipped around trying to see him in the dark and was pulled off balance again, smashing to the floor hard, the pain searing back up inside. I tried to scream but I could feel his hand cover my mouth, I tried to bite down on him but couldn't seem to get any purchase.

I shivered and squirmed beneath him as my pants were torn off and I curled in upon myself tightly, trying in vain to protect myself from him.

His hand reached between my legs and I heard his voice in my ear whisper darkly "Open up for Daddy, Katsuya-chan."

I bolted upright in bed sweating and struggling weakly, looking around with uncertainty and fear. I didn't understand for a moment how I had managed to climb back into my bed and I tensed, waiting for him to attack me from another direction.

I looked to the nightstand and realized the clock was flashing a time that was over two hours later than I had last known and my breath whooshed out of me reflexively. I fell weakly back into my pillows and lay still, breathing hard as I reached one hand over absently to turn on the light. My legs were twisted up in my blanket and I kicked it off the , sp, sprawling out across the mattress.

I sat up quickly and dashed into the bathroom, luckily making it to the toilet bowl before losing my dinner. Though disgusted, I noticed thankfully that I wasn't bleeding. I was just regular run-of-the-mill sick to my stomach. Pretty bad when that could be counted as a relief.

I grabbed the pills from my pocket with a shaky hand and tried to remember whether or not I had taken any before I went to sleep. I couldn't recall so I thought it would be safer if I only took one for now. My hand shook so badly as I tipped the bottle into my hand that fur poured out. I looked at them curiously for a moment and hesitantly put two back. Taking two more now wouldn't hurt all that much. I just needed a sound sleep, I reasoned with myself. Considering I hadn't slept very soundly before I decided I probably hadn't taken any pills, so I fished one more from the bottle and tipped them back, swallowing them dry. I remembered hearing somewhere that taking pills dry made them work faster...or was that slower? Damn, I couldn't remember, so I grabbed a glass from the sink and took a quick drink.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and went back to bed, stretching out without my blankets. I left the light on and closed my eyes, and I wasn't sure how long it took for me to fall asleep this time.

When I woke up next it was morning, though I couldn't tell at first. I crept to my window and looked outside to see a gray sky with rain sheeting down. I swore and walked back to bed, picking up the blanket I'd discarded the night before and wrapping it around my shoulders. I walked down the hall, avoiding a clot of commotion and picture taking that was down near the nurses station, and swiped a fresh pair of scrubs from a shelf in the linen closet, I also grabbed a towel.

The showers were thankfully deserted and I shrugged out of my sweat stained clothing gratefully. I couldn't remember whether or not I'd had any more dreams after I'd gone back to sleep, but my clothes were drenched, so I guess I did dream more. At least I couldn't recall anything, that was good.

I locked the bathroom door even though it was against the rules and stepped into the stall farthest from the door, pulling the flimsy curtain over behind me. I turned the shower head on hot and waited for my body to adjust to the temperature before I jacked it up some more. The hot water streamed down over my body and I stood under it numbly, not moving. I stared straight ahead at the faucet and decided the water wasn't quite right yet, so I gave the knob another crank. The water was scalding and sheeted over me like fire, and I smiled slightly, tipping my head back to catch even more of the sensation. I stood for as long as I could stand it before I stepped out, barely taking time to actually wash up, but that really hadn't been the point of the shower to begin with. Considering I'd already gotten all the heat I needed to, I bypassed the bathtub and toweled off quickly.

I could hear a commotion still going on outside the door so I waited a moment for it to pass before tiptoeing out and heading to my room. If they were looking for pity cases to trump up for the media I was in no way volunteering myself. More than one news crew had passed through the halls in the week and a half I'd been confined here. Really, I should be free of this place by now, but they had decided not to let me go just yet. They seemed to think it wasn't ethical to let me go without trying to provide me with some help and counseling first. At least they hadn't tried to foist me off into the psychiatric ward, or maybe they just thought they could protect me better in ICU.

I continued to sneak down the back hall to my room, but I spared a glance over my shoulder as I turned to corner, not wanting some desperate newsie to follow me to try and wrangle a sob story out of me. I walked headlong into a solid mass and fell to my butt on the floor. It seemed since I'd gotten here my tail bone was taking major punishment. Hadn't the hospital board ever heard of this nifty invention called carpeting? I looked to see what I'd crashed into and saw a pair of highly shined loafers and the pant legs of a white suit.

"Watch where you're going, " I muttered darkly and leaned forward to balance as I stood. When I brought my face up I was staring into the sardonically smiling eyes of one Kaiba Seto. Great, so this day was pretty much cosigned to being a dismal waste. Lucky me.

"Well what do we have here?" he said softly, his eyes regarding me with a sly silent laughter.

"Go away." I growled and spun on my heel, a considerably bad move without the aforementioned carpet. I spun out and bounced off the wall before trying to walk away with my tattered dignity laying splayed out on the floor. Nice move.

"I didn't realize you were in ICU, mutt." Kaiba calmly walked after me, moving much more quickly considering his tail bone likely wasn't shattered in two or three places. I swore under my breath.

"What are you doing here? Some poor person dying that you had to come and laugh at before you'd let them get away?"

"Last I heard you were far from your death bed, mutt."

"Gee, so you're here to laugh at me. Don't I feel special that you took time from your busy schedule to personally torment me."

"I'm here doing some press. I donate to this hospital's children's fund. There was a little girl in ICU, we were doing some coverage for the yearly fund raiser coming up."

I tried to find fault with that, but there really wasn't anything I could find to insult him about when it came to donating to a good cause. Damn him for having a worthy reason to be here when I really wanted to insult him and bitch him out royally. This so wasn't my day.

"I thought you'd be out of here by now." he said softly, stopping in front of me and giving me a hard look. "Do you know where they're sending you next?"

"I'm not talking about this with you of all people." I growled and pushed past him.

"The orphanage, I take it?"

"I'm not having this discussion."

"You know if you go to the orphanage you get into Kaiba Land free, right?"

I turned and glared at him. "There is no way I'd ever patronize your damn amusement park, Kaiba, I have better things to do."

"You've already been there three times this year and it's only April." he replied dryly, that smug smile never leaving his face. I desperately wanted to punch it off.

"What do you have some sort of track device planted in me, that way you know where I am in case you ever have a late night urge to torment me?" I blinked a moment, "You don't, do you? An implant, I mean?"

"From what I understand it's been made pretty clear where you've been spending your nights."

I rushed him them and punched him solidly in the stomach, but he didn't flinch. I continued to rain punched int his chest, but he stood unmoving as my punched grew weak and I sagged pitifully to my knees. His hand reached down with a white scarf and he put it in my fist.

"Yugi told me you chased him away last night."

I realized I was crying and used the scarf to wipe off my cheeks, but I didn't let myself look up at him, though he knew I was crying, he couldn't actually see me crying and for some reason it felt okay if he wasn't actually able to see my tears. "Yeah, I kind of did. I didn't really mean to, I apologized."

"He said so. He was worried though."

"Did he tell you to come here?"

"No. I wasn't even sure if you were still in the hospital, he didn't say where he'd talked to you. I really am here for the press."

"You let me hit you."

"You needed it."

I looked up at him, confused. His eyes were still hard and distant, but I thought I could actually see some shred of sympathy in them. Not pity, which I might have expected more than compassion, and not disgusted, which i thought was going to be par for the course.

"Thanks." I said finally after a moment of silence.

He shrugged and stuck his hands in the pockets of his white coat, and I realized he looked slightly more human when not wearing one of his huge trench coats. "You're wearing a suit."

"How terribly observant of you, mutt."

"Ha ha. It's odd to see you not wearing a trench coat."

"Since when do you notice what I wear?" he arched one eyebrow

I scowled. "Shut up. So I'm fashion conscious, so sue me."

"I probably could."

"You wouldn't bother, you know I'm broke."

"I'd make an exception for you, mutt, I'd sue you just to watch you squirm."

I shook out my head and stood, my hands on my hips. "Okay, are you here to be nice, or to insult me, 'cause you're switching back and forth and it's really getting confusing."

He laughed lightly. "Take your pick."

"I think I've had enough of the fake sympathy and pity."

"I know. I figured that too. It gets old pretty fast."

"I guess you would know."

He gave me a sharp look and I could barely make out the word he whispered under his breath "Gozaburo." I had thought I was right about his meaning, even if he hadn't thought that I would be perceptive enough to pick up on it. Shame on Kaiba, thinking I'm an idiot just 'cause, well, I usually am one.

"Anyways, mutt, I have to get back to the press. You might consider getting better, considering how awful you look when sick."

"Since when do you notice how I look?"

He considered that a moment. "I've noticed everything about you Jounouchi. I make it my business to know everything about everybody."

I smirked bitterly. "Seems you don't always know everything."

"You'd be surprised, mutt. I know everything about you before you know it yourself." he left me gaping and swaggered off down the hall, it was an odd sight without the usual trench flaring out dramatically behind him. No less impressive though.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" I shouted back, barely hanging on to enough dignity not to chase after him.

He stopped and half turned, facing me slightly and there was an odd look in his eyes. If it wasn't Kaiba I was looking at I would've said the emotion was sadness, but it couldn't be with Kaiba, could it? He stared at me intently a moment, then shook his head and frowned. "You're a dog Jounouchi, you don't understand that, do you?"

I was about to rip into him with another insult, or maybe I could go back to punching him, but he lifted one hand in a staying gesture.

"You're a dog. Dumb, pathetic and..." he smiled slightly, "loyal. You still don't see it, do you? You're just a dumb dog who will keep going back to his master no matter ho many times he's hit because he can't stop being loyal."

"I don't get it."

"You'll go back, Jounouchi. You already know that and all this waiting right now is just you realizing it. You're stupid to go back, and you know it, but what else can a dumb dog like you do? Why can't you stop being loyal?"

There was an odd sound to his last question, like it held some great importance.

"You're not going to do anything to save yourself, in the end you'll wind up letting him kill you because you can't get it through your thick head that he doesn't give a damn about you. Each time you come whimpering back with your tail between your legs he's laughing at you."

"I-It's not like that!"

"Prove it to me, Jounouchi. Don't go back to him."

I found any words of protest frozen in my throat and I couldn't answer. I didn't know what my answer was. Was Kaiba right? Did I really plan on going back without knowing it. I didn't think it was possible, I didn't want to be hurt even more. What was I doing? What was I going to do?

I ducked back down the side hall and back into the bathroom, pulling the bottle of pills from my pants pocket and tipping out three into my hand. After a moment of hesitant consideration I took one more and downed them as quickly as I could, staring at my pale and shaky reflection in the mirror. I shoved the bottle back in my pocket and returned to the hall, but Kaiba was gone.

I'm not sure if I was glad or not.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

A/N:Well, what do you think so far? For those who question the rather odd appearance of Kaiba at the end, I figured he was probably the best to point Jounouchi in the direction of a few painful realizations. I doubt this is his only appearance, considering I like Kaiba and all my past works are usually him and Jou (although I also rather like Jou/Mokuba and Jou/Varon. Well, okay almost anything Jou.) I hope you all liked this chapter and will honour me more with some reviews (hint, hint)
I hope I'll get to writing some more again soon, I'm just praying for further inspiration to strike!
See ya!
(I am having browser troubles, I tried to view my reviews for last chapter but it isn't letting me! I'll try to have them for next chapter again instead)