Source of Eternal Frustration

[Hey y’all!

Here is the next chapter.

I apologize deeply for the long long wait, but I was on vacation, and though some of the hotels had internet, it was also censored and there were a couple of websites that I couldn’t get access to :(.
I wrote this ON my vacation, I hope you appreciate my hard hard efforts xD.

I hope this is worth the wait, as far as I can tell, it is a pretty long chapter compared to the previous ones.

As all the other times, I’m in doubt about it, but I hope you will be satisfied.

Please read, rate, review, comment and like!

Love Mulle]









Confronting





Wednesday came and Jou went to school like nothing was wrong. He did notice the increasingly pointed stares from Kaiba, but put nothing into it. He did however keep a sharp eye on Bakura, just in case he felt the urge to divulge some of the things he had tricked out of Jou the day before. In first class they had group work, and Jou made sure to be in group with Bakura, just in case. Not that he was particularly worried. It just didn’t hurt to be careful.



----------



That stupid mutt. He was working with Bakura. Why Bakura? Not that it mattered; he just had to remind the idiot of how things worked.


Although cornering him again would be way too obvious. And he would be able to tell probably, he did have instincts like all animals. Something innocent would do.



----------



Group work with Bakura had been surprisingly comfortable. Bakura provided with absolutely nothing but insults and such. Nothing that could possibly have been relevant for the work they were doing. Further more the thief seemed like he was positively dieing with the urge to just leave the school and/or murder the teacher. Ryou was unexpectedly stern when he put the thief in his place and told him to either be quiet or contribute to their work. The fragile, delicate looking boy was smaller, petite and had big soft chocolate-brown eyes. Bakura was something alike, since they were two parts of one soul, but had more muscle, was built slightly stronger, had harder eyes and outran Ryou with 2 inches. And he had that ‘oppose me and I WILL kill you’-aura about him.



No one would have known that Ryou’s soft eyes had the ability to become so hard when keeping Bakura in place. Often he merely had to look sternly at Bakura to keep him down. Jou had never seen this control or strength in Ryou before. In public he always just looked pleadingly at Bakura instead. Maybe it was to spare Bakura’s ego the devastating blow if the Pharaoh or Tomb-keeper saw him being subdued by his light.



The never before seen side to their relationship also left him feeling more at ease with his friends relationship to the thief. He had been afraid that Ryou didn’t have anything to say in the deal.



The whole deal also kept a certain someone, feelings for said certain someone and the situation he found himself in with said certain someone from his mind. It gave him peace to do something as mundane as banter with someone, with no fear of ulterior motives.



In second class they had to start a new project in pairs. Jou prepared himself mentally to work with Anzu. It always turned out like that. The lights had to work with their yami’s, or all hell would be loose. He was slightly tired of the arrangement. She was his friend and he did care for her a lot, but sometimes she could annoy the hell out of him. When he opened his eyes again from his inner musings, (more like sleeping sitting up), he discovered to his surprise that Anzu unpredictably had paired up with another girl. Great, what now?


He looked around. Everyone else had a partner, and he hated pushing himself on his friends. He’d just have to do this alone.


Then the teacher decided to unknowingly rub salt in it.



“Everyone, do you have a partner?”



‘Yeah, sure we do’, Jou thought bitterly. He hated pushing himself on people, but sometimes the hate of being left behind overwhelmed the other. He had rationalized that it was a byproduct of his mother and sister leaving him behind with his drunken-ass father when he was a kid, but never gave it much thought. Nothing good came out of thinking about his childhood. Great, childhood traumas. His shrink would have a fieldtrip, if he had been able to afford such things.



“Jounouchi-kun, do you have a partner?”



Jou nearly jumped out of his skin when he looked up at his teacher, who had somehow moved in front of his desk. He hadn’t noticed her at all during his grumblings over anything and nothing.



“Um, not really. But it’s okay, I can do it alone.”



He was slightly nervous that she would ask him to join some of his friends, and embarrassingly aware that everyone had noticed his situation. It made his stomach churn and burn with humiliation and slight anger.



“Oh no Jounouchi-kun, for this assignment you need a partner. You young people think you can do everything alone. There’s only one other who needs a partner, Kaiba-kun.”



Fuck.



Hastily Jou tried to reason with her.



“There’s really no need Miss, and I’m sure Mr.-stick-up-his-ass agrees. We don’t work well together, he could loose a limb”



“Jounouchi-kun! Lang-” the teacher began outraged of his choice of word to describe Kaiba.



“Are you saying I can’t handle you mutt?”



Kaiba had decided to join in the argument, skillfully hiding his satisfaction of the situation.



“Something along those lines moneybags.”



The entire class was following the scene, as if it was a soap-opera on television. Some gaping, some yawning, some just plain entertained or bored.



“It’s about time you two learned to work together and overcome your differences and tried not to let that childrens cardgame get between you. It’s the sort of behavior you would expect from 10-year olds!” (A.N: I couldn’t help it, it just sorta slipped out)



Several heads flew up at that comment, and certain spirits looked outraged at the teacher when ‘childrens cardgames’ came over her lips. Kaibas lips merely thinned out, and he looked at the teacher with an icy glare that usually made his business competitors run in terror. She seemed immune somehow.



“You will do this assignment together, and make up.”



To Jou that last statement sounded strangely close to make out, and he stiffened a bit.



“Good. Everyone, use the rest of the day to begin the outline of your project. Feel free to use the school library. I want a presentation and a written report handed in, with records of your sources, theses, discussion and conclusion, argumentation for choice of material, argumentation for choice of theories and methods and for choice of subject and theses. This counts for 20% of your final grade, so knock yourself out. Class dismissed”



Crap, 20%?



----------



Excellent. This was a perfect excuse. Now to set things straight with the blond.



----------



“Come on, let’s go to the library, at least there those idiots can’t make so much noise”



Kaiba grabbed his suitcase and motioned for Jou to follow. They left the classroom and made it for the library.



They kept going, and ended up in the back of the room, where no one is because of the dusty rows of shelves with thick old books. They sat down at a table and laid out everything they would need.


Jou sighed. This would be a long project.



They did the brainstorming, arguing over which subject to focus on, what angle to attack it from and just generally criticizing and insulting each others ideas. They finally came to an agreement and started working on the general theses and overall problem.



When they had split who would work on what, and what should be read for next, Kaiba packed his things but made no move to leave.



Jou just sat there looking and him, not missing the handsomeness the brunet seemed to be glowing with. As he sat there silently admiring his jaw, he started missing seeing the blue, blue eyes. Those eyes suddenly shot open and the blue depths focused on him with a burning emotion.



Oh oh..



----------



He led the blond to the back of the library and sat down at the last table, well hidden behind various shelves and books. He sat down and his partner did the same. They just started working, and he was surprised by the blonds’ ideas, thoughts and the level of his work. He came up with great ideas, but being Kaiba Seto, he couldn’t tell him that. Instead he criticized them, and was once again taken aback when Jou could defend his ideas well from his stabbing, scrutinizing comments.

Impressive.



They worked surprisingly well together, and suddenly he was even less worried about the 20%. That had been the reason that he hadn’t just confronted Jou with his rage at the first minute. He wanted at least some work done before the blond, no doubt, would storm out of the library.



When they were done he packed up and leaned back with closed eyes. As he thought about what to say, his rage started bubbling again. Eyes snapped open.



----------



Suddenly Jou really didn’t want to see the eyes anymore. It didn’t look good. He had thought that they had done a pretty good job with the project so far, why would Kaiba be pissed?



“I don’t know why you’re pissed, but why don’t we call this the end of today, and you can go sack some staff-member?”



He started getting up, but the iciness in the blue eyes increased and sharp words were said



“Sit down.”



The tone made him sit again.



“Now, let’s get something straight. I don’t want you talking to any guy alone like that again”



Blond eyebrows furrowed and the head cocked to the side like a curious child.



”Like what?”



“Like what you did with Bakura yesterday. It looked way too comfortable.”



Jou could feel rage bubbling in his stomach, and his head was getting lightheaded with it. But he controlled the urge to yell obscenities and insults at Kaiba and instead put on a blank face.



“Why the hell do you care moneybags? What is it to you?”



It was a risky question. He knew he longed for a certain answer, but refused to acknowledge it. It was way too risky to acknowledge such things. He got hurt when he accepted feelings like those.



Kaiba was quiet for a short moment, and then he stood up and walked so that he stood behind Jou’s chair. The small hairs on the back of his neck stood up and his breathing upped a bit. He felt hot breath on his neck and had a flashback to the bathroom incident not too long ago. He stiffened. Then a low voice came in his ear.



“I already said it before puppy. I. Own. You. And you like it, too.”



The increasingly thin line of control that Jou had been holding onto like a drowning man broke and he stood sharply, noticing with satisfaction that a small sound from Kaiba told him that his chair had made contact with Kaiba’s stomach. He turned around and yelled at Kaiba, full rage on.



“You don’t control me or my life you sick bastard. That stupid ‘I own you’-crap is nothing more but bullshit. And you know what?”



He pushed Kaibas chest with both hands, and he stumbled back, a slightly taken aback look on his face.



“It just isn’t fucking good enough!”



He grabbed his bag and stormed out of the library.



----------



‘Why the hell do you care moneybags? What is it to you?’



Stupid question.



He had answered as could be expected, but he had started to wonder himself. Why? If the blond was merely a fucktoy, then why did it matter?



And another thing that had caught his interest was the very last thing the blond had said



‘It just isn’t fucking good enough!’



Good enough? Why would it have to be good enough?



----------



Stupid bastard, and his stupid arrogance!



And stupid him for saying that.



‘Not fucking good enough’ ??



What the hell had he been thinking?!



Expose yourself a bit more you idiot!



He banged his head against the wall.



Ouch.. A bit too hard, that last time..



Okay, so maybe he did feel more than just attraction, but it would lead to nothing. He did like the bastard. A lot. When he stopped acting like something long was stuck up his ass, he was actually rather nice. Just working together today proofed that.



He would prefer not to look facts in the eyes, but it wasn’t in his nature.



If Kaiba acted like nothing had happened, then he would too. If he did act on it, then he would not lie, but it was very risky. He sighed.









As he walked to the school the next day, he was tired. He hadn’t slept that much last night.



He didn’t see Kaiba all day, and his nerves couldn’t handle being around his friends, so for the break he opted to stay in the classroom instead of going outside with them.



He sat at his desk, head on his arms, and arms on his desk. He heard the door shut, and looked up at Kaiba. Kaiba walked to the wall in front of Jou desk and leaned against it with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He looked down at Jou silently.



“What?”



“What the hell did you mean by ‘isn’t fucking good enough’?”



His insides froze.



“Well .. I ..”



“Or did you speak without thinking again? You’re such an idiot. Sometimes I wonder how you can survive in society in general without walking into walls.”



Suddenly Jou got very angry. He didn’t know why, and he knew he was overacting, but he couldn’t stop himself.



“You are so fucking full of yourself all the fucking time! Why can’t you just stop insulting me for a minute, so that we can have an actual conversation? So now I’m an idiot for saying how I feel? So what, yes I fucking like you. I don’t know why I do, you’re such a dickhead! I don’t even know why I bother with this. You obviously don’t respect me even an ounce.”



“You, -… you what?”



Jou got up and marched up to Kaiba.



“I fucking like you, you asshole!”



He got up on his toes and grabbed the front of Kaibas collar, and kissed Kaiba hard on the mouth. It was all aggressive, there was no hesitation. He smoothed his tongue into the others mouth, and as soon as Kaiba began to respond, he pulled back. He took a step back and gave him a hard look.



”If there’s nothing more in this to you, than sex and retarded domination to stroke your already over-grown ego, then keep away from me. If there’s more, then fucking say so. You’ve already ruined my first experience with a guy, you’re not gonna ruin my first experience at a relationship, or something resembling it, too.”



----------



Kaiba looked rather shocked down at the blond.



Was he serious?



Jou turned and got his bag, then marched out of the room in a fierce pace.



Kaiba found himself incredibly turned on. It was this, the stubborn strength in Jou, which made him so appealing. It also made him one of the most provocative and annoying people he knew. And sure, he was gorgeous too, but everyone else always backed down from him. Jou fought back. It was.. luring, exciting.



But the things he had said ...



----------



Jou was at home again. Banging his head into the wall. Again.



Stupid, stupid, stupid.. He didn’t know if it had been the right thing to do. But it was done and he couldn’t take it back.



What had he been thinking? Why would someone like Kaiba Seto choose him for something like that? He had made an idiot out of himself.. Again.



Kaiba would surely use it against him. He had practically handed over ammo to throw at him for the next fight.



A scary thought hit him; what if Kaiba would use it against him in front of his friends? He knew they wouldn’t have anything against him being gay, but there would be several jaws dropping at him liking Kaiba, who he had cursed farther than hell and back again.









When he came back to school Friday, he was met with many questions from his friends about his mysterious disappearance the day before. He just said that he hadn’t felt well. ‘Well, he did look awfully pale’, and Yuugi wondered out loud if he slept enough. He continued to wrap Jou in his sweet, caring worry. It was nice to feel some love, even if it wasn’t the right kind or from the right person.



But no reaction from Kaiba. Jou was slightly disappointed, but he tried not to let it get to him.



After school he went to work and at 9.30 he returned home. He was slightly depressed. Scratch that, he was very depressed. He didn’t know what he had expected...



Weekend started and he worked as he always did, but took on more shifts, and worked everyday from morning to evening.



Sunday he returned home at 6 and showered. He put on a big t-shirt, dusty light-green and some washed out previously black shorts, which now were closer to grey-dusted black. Then he ate a can of corn as he sat on the sofa. When he was halfway through, he heard knocking on the door.



He placed the corn on the table and went to the front door. He took hold of the handle and opened the door, having slight problems in the small, narrow hallway since it opened inwards.



When he finally looked up, he looked into a pair of shining blue eyes.



Kaiba. At his doorstep.









[A.N: Everyone who reviews/comments, thank you so so much! I deeply appreciate it all, and I love you all very much for them.

To my ‘old’ ones, thank you for the answers to my babblings, you made me smile ;).

Thank you to theallpowerfullme and SecondStoreyStairwell for the tips about bold, italic and underline! :D I am in debt to you guys, and owe you anything in the world!]