I'm Sick, I Tell Ya!

Author's notes, part one: *sigh* Yet another late chapter... Oh Jesus, the muses are fading into the darkness, all because of my KH2 obsession. Damn you, Mansex...er, Xemnas for looking so much like Malik Ishtar it isn't even funny.

And on a personal note, I got some more health problems that seriously hindered my writing ability. Thankfully, I’ve been taken off of the medications that seemed to be causing them. Also, due to Election Day, this chapter kind of had to be posted late anyway.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!. However, I do own Mario Migliore, the panty-drying, boner-shrinking asshole. Man, if his attitude were his face... OH SWEET JESUS! NIGHTMARES FOREVER!!!

Chapter 4: Mission: FAIL


"Screw you, I don't wanna go to your stupid party anyway," the blonde mumbled to himself. Arms crossed, he reclined on his desk.

"What's the matter Jounouchi?" Otogi asked with mock sympathy. "You didn't get an invite? Too bad..."

"Hey, shut up! I don't even want to go to his stupid party. And listen to him yap about how rich he is and shit." His lips curved slightly into a smirk. "But, at least I know that Yuugi, Honda and Anzu ain't going. They're too smart for that dickheaded idiot."

"Actually, we are going," Anzu couldn't help but overhear Jounouchi's predicament from afar.

"What?! Shit!" Jounouchi buried his forehead in his palm. "This is not happening. I'm at Disneyland..."

"No, no, no, wait. You misunderstand." She quickly approached him, then whispered, "Yuugi seemed to really want to go. Something about telling him that he's not the one for him. And while I agree, I don't think it'll be enough for just Honda and I to tag along. If anything happens, we'd really like for you to rescue Yuugi."

Jounouchi's head hung lower. "But, how in the hell will I be able to do that, if I can't get in his house?"

Otogi cut in, "If you don't want him taking your little boyfriend away from you, I can help you. But."

"But...?" A slightly aggravated Jounouchi trailed off. Why did everyone have to call Yuugi that?

"You will have to do everything that I say."

Jounouchi swallowed the lump in his throat. "I don't like the sound of this 'everything'..." He raised an eyebrow, just wondering what Otogi whispered in Anzu's ear. She cringed at first, but was suddenly enthusiastic later.

"Wait right here, Jounouchi." She skipped to Honda, who then jogged to Mario, weaving through the crowd of girls on the way.

After exchanging a few short words that Jounouchi tried to listen in on to no avail, Honda reported, "I told him I was bringing a date with me. He asked me how hot she was." The grin on his face spread from ear to ear. "I told him that she would blow him away with her gorgeousness."

Jounouchi knew what that grin on Honda's face meant, and it didn't help that Anzu and Otogi were sharing the same expression. There was no backing out now...

~*~

Saturday rolled in, seemingly sooner than expected. Rock and techno music could be heard blocks away from the Migliore residence. The bouncer scanned the next two people in line after Yuugi and Anzu--Honda and...an unusually tall red-haired woman in a tube top and a skirt.

The bouncer made a low whistle at the young woman.

"I'm gonna kill you dead, Honda," Jounouchi grumbled in a very low voice as he shoved through the entrance, very relieved to use his own voice again.

"Heh. After you rescue Yuugi, then you can attempt to kill me, Shigeko."

"Shigeko's" fist trembled, though if he struck Honda, his cover would be blown sooner than expected.

Surely, Mario was popular, but Jounouchi hadn't expected the whole school and more to come to this party. This mission was going to be a lot tougher than expected. His enemy was on a mini-stage, performing, so at least he hadn't gotten his grubby paws on Yuugi yet. And speaking of familiar faces, after weaving though the crowd, Jounouchi literally bumped into Anzu.

"Nice skirt!" a male classmate next to her shouted.

Oh great. If he was lucky, Jounouchi was going to kill Otogi for making this costume too convincing.

Anzu would have been amused, however, she was far more worried. And Yuugi not being next to her was definitely not a good sign.

"Dammit! Where's Yuugi?!" Jounouchi closed his mouth, wishing he didn't make that outburst. Most of the eyes were on him.

"Well, that's what I was about to ask you!" She exclaimed back at him. "Well, we'd better stick together. Kinda difficult in this crowd, if you ask me."

"Hey! There you are." Honda, nearly breathless, finally caught up with the gang. "I'm glad I found you two, but where's Yuugi?"

"Spiky one-foot-tall hair can't be easy to miss, no matter how short he is." Jounouchi stood on his toes, trying to look over the crowd. He did see his nemesis hop off the stage, then weave his way through the crowd to stop in the middle of it. "Oh no. Please don't say that's..." Jounouchi thought aloud, catching a glimpse of gold, black and red next to Mario. "Shit, guys, change of plans." On command, the group headed towards the two.

~*~

"Uh, Mario-kun? I'm sorry about what happened the other night..." Yuugi began, sitting upright on Mario's plush bed.

"It's okay. I've been pushing you into something you didn't really want." Mario took a slim box from a drawer. He opened it, offering Yuugi a chocolate treat. "Would you like one?"

"Okay." Yuugi took one and chewed on it. It tasted quite delicious--a little salty, and made him feel a little drowsy after swallowing... "Look, I think I should tell you about the other night, Mario-kun. I just...don't...feel..." The small teen fell unconscious.

"Idiot." Smirking to himself, Mario decided to explore. This scrawny little boy sure was gullible. Mario slipped the sleeveless shirt off of the slim torso, then let his fingertips wander around the chest. He undid the button of Yuugi's black pants admiring the prize he won from that blond fool.. Mario slid his own hand down his pants in preparation of invading Yuugi.

~*~

Jounouchi pulled the knob and twisted it rapidly, only to find it wouldn't budge. "Shit, it's locked! Anzu, Honda, help me break this door down."

The trio moved far back towards the wall. "Ready when you are," Anzu told Jounouchi and Honda.

"Okay, everybody ready on three, got it?"

"THREE!" They shouted in unison, and rammed into the door at once. It forced open, which was favorable. However...

"You. Fucking. ASSHOLE!" No... That couldn't be Mario hovered over an unconscious Yuugi, whose unzipped leather pants sat low on his hips.

"How the fuck did you get in?!" Mario bellowed. "And what the hell are you wearing?!"

Jounouchi removed the wig and the top, then marched towards the offender. Without any words, he socked Mario in the jaw with all his might, causing him to fall over.

During the distraction, Anzu and Honda quickly carried Yuugi out of the room.

"I'll have you arrested...no, murdered," Mario growled and lunged toward Jounouchi.

The blonde could easily dodge the attempt. "Gee, I sure wish you could you know, put your massive amounts of money where your mouth is, punk. 'Cause I know you ain't trained in combat like I was." He shoved his knee in Mario's abdomen. "The things you learn by being out on the streets rather than a fancy-ass mansion."

Mario crouched down on the floor. "There's no way in hell I'm giving up. Yuugi doesn't deserve trailer trash like you."

"My best buddy doesn't deserve to be raped," Jounouchi snarled as he forced the other down to the floor by the neck. "Especially by the Sultan of Sluts who thinks he can do it behind my back and live to tell the tale." He firmly planted his foot in Mario's face, then delighted in kicking the carcass around the floor.

"Please stop! Oh god..."

"Yeah, that's what I wanted to hear." Jounouchi smirked, backing out only slightly.

Suddenly Mario's hands gripped Jounouchi's ankle. He pulled with as much might as he could, causing the stronger teen to fall.

"Dammit!" Was Jounouchi's outburst as he fell to the floor.

"I was too trained in self-defense, cazzo."

A swift kick to the head silenced Mario. "Bet your trainer got his license out of a cereal box." Jounouchi pinned him to the floor, punching until an ample amount of blood pooled on the carpet. He rose from the still body. Mario was unconscious, but still breathing, barely. Looks like Jounouchi's work was done.

...Which was his last thought before a group of men in suits barged in. Three of the men stunned Jounouchi, then dragged his unconscious body elsewhere.


Author's notes, part two: Remember ladies and gentlemen--NEVER leave your drink unattended, accept suspicious food from anyone in private or take the offer of going to someone's bedroom unattended. Seriously. Also, do not spike someone's drink, implant drugs in food, or offer someone your bedroom at a party. Gee, why don't they give that advice instead?

And...let's hope Jounouchi-kun can make it out of this sticky situation...