Pedigree Pup

Hey! Sorry it took so long, but this one was hard to get into! Please tell me if it sucks! I'll do a lot of editing based on your reviews, and if you want to beta my story, contact me! I need the help!


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Joey froze as he felt his body respond to Kaiba. His words echoed in his head. Puppy, he said puppy, just like in his dream. Phantom sensations ghosted through him as he relieved his dreams. Could Kaiba really know who he was? No, it was just the resemblance. No matter how much he tried, it was impossible to change what he looked like to the degree of being unrecognizable. It was just the resemblance.

Deciding to have a little fun at Kaiba’s expense, Katsuya decided to play off the CEO’s mistake. “Pigmy Gobi”. He almost laughed out loud at the look of confusion and anger that raced across his face before the emotions faded into oblivion. “I’m sorry, did I not play the game right? You say a random animal, and I respond in kind. Oh! Maybe I was to reply in the Latin? In that case, it would be canis domesticas, correct?”

“Who are you?” There was no hint of amusement in Kaiba’s voice. If his tone could hold true heat, Joey would have been incinerated within moments. The question was more of a demand, than anything else.

“Jounouchi Katsuya…now, if you’ll excuse me. I have some pressing matters to see to, please feel free to leave whenever you wish.” Joey turned without another word, not trusting his acting ability when thrown into prolonged contact with Seto. He felt his feet drag slightly. There really was nothing exciting going on…and his grandmother had disappeared sometime after they arrived, muttering about shrimp puffs. Kaiba had nearly been a welcome contrast to the tedium of faux-polite office talk.

He passed a group of murmuring businessmen, one of whom recognized him. Joey was immediately commandeered into the conversation, and he found himself lost in the deep realm of thinking required to analyze whether one-ply toilet paper would seriously affect employee production. Then he had to decide if the money saved outweighed the inherent harms.

He silently wailed about how butt-rashes vastly superseded budget cuts. How had he managed to get wrangled into this again? Oh, yeah. Family obligation and junk…sucks monkey-butt…


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Kaiba stared bitterly into his glass of champagne. No one spoke to him that way, but there was that…boy! He may only be a little older than this ‘Jounouchi Katsuya’, but that was beside the point. No matter how hard he stared into his drink, it didn’t seem to answer his questions.

He could’ve sworn that the puppy and the rival CEO were identical, dismissing superficial features. Hair was easily changed, and contacts were easily accessible. Make-up could even change one’s skin tone. But it was there, the same eyes, the same ears, same posture…just…different. Kaiba felt this sense of wrongness deep in his gut, like he could feel the fakeness of the other person.

It annoyed him to no end that he had been so off guard that the ‘debate’ had been entirely in favor of the obnoxious business teen. First, he had been thrown off balance by the simple fact that the other was a near mirror image of Joey, and then the ridiculous comments afterwards provided no help in regaining footing. It was disgraceful…horrendous.

“Shrimp puff?”

The wavering, yet firm voice of an older woman drifted to his ears. Where had he heard that voice before? It tickled the edge of his memory. His mind drifted back to earlier that day…

“Joey, hmm? What trouble has he got into this time?”

“Apparently, he was attacked by an echidna, and he couldn’t get to school on time. I’m just verifying the facts.” Ms. Yoroi seemed to shield herself...as if fearing whatever form of anger would erupt from the elderly lady. Pathetic.

“The echidna, Reagan, Nixon, or Texaco, what was the devil’s name again?”

“It’s Roark grandma!” The puppy barked furiously, evidently trying to get some unspoken message to his grandmother. Whatever misstep she could make in this situation was apparently dire to the pup.

“Yes, yes. I’m hunting the little demon now.” It sounded as though she had tucked the phone into her shoulder, and a muffled “Marvin! I need my elephant gun, the M-16’s out of ammo!” burst through the receiver. “Sorry ‘bout that, the darned thing is just so hard to kill! I swear it’s got some cheetah in it or something. You know what, I’m gonna send Mauve after it.”

It appeared as though the teacher was on the verge of an aneurysm; stunned that such a ridiculous story was true. Kaiba wasn’t so convinced. Whatever the puppy wanted his grandmother to know had been taken into account. Most likely, it was all invented on the spot “So you really have the echidna?”

“Of course, deary. Don’t you have an echidna? Mauve! I sad Roark not Chiken Noodle!”

“Umm. May I ask what Mauve is?” The ‘educator’ timidly broke in. Timidly! Isn’t she supposed to be an authority figure?

“Why of course! Don’t be silly! Mauve is our yoga guru water buffalo. Trained by Hindu monks she was. Sweet as can be, that Mauve! Your hoof! Kick it with your hoof, then gut it! No, knock it on its back!! Yes! Yes! We got it! Oh, Joey, you should start your eulogy soon…Now, was there anything else you needed?” Whoever this old bat was…she certainly was clever. That much he could tell.

Kaiba instantly searched out the source of that voice. What was Joey’s grandmother doing here? Did she work for a catering company? All these question raced through his head as he scanned waitress after waitress, trying to match voice and face.

Enlightenment dawned on him as he saw lips move and words come out at the same time. An elderly woman with blue-gray hair pulled back into a restrained bun, dressed ridiculously in a floor length evening gown, a waiter’s apron, a servant’s cap, and an awkwardly skewed fake mustache was offering shrimp puffs to ignorant businessmen and women. Not a single person seemed to notice the extremely abnormal dress of their ‘hostess’.

Immediately, Kaiba marched over to the aged woman, determinedly looking for an answer to the questions plaguing his mind. “You’re Joey Wheeler’s grandmother, aren’t you?”

The woman stiffened for an instant, a brief moment that nearly seemed a figment of his imagination. She slowly turned around, her face one of frozen happiness. “Hello. How can I help you?”

If he didn’t know any better, Kaiba would have bet money that his eyebrow twitched. “You are Joey Wheeler’s grandmother, I recognize your voice. If you still wish to attempt to evade the question, I can requisition copies of the phone conversation I listened in on this afternoon. I’m certain that will clear everything up.”

A hunted look briefly flashed across her face, as though she was uncertain of how to continue the conversation. Determination flared, and her jaw set stubbornly. “Harassment! I’ve had enough of you and your kind lusting after my body! I have morals you know!” Mrs. Wheeler turned as though that ended the conversation.

Kaiba was not about to let a prospective opportunity escape his grasp. His long legs quickly caught up to the elderly woman. He used his tall body in an attempt to corral the woman, but she was quicker than she looked. Eventually, their strange ‘step-and-shift dance’ ended with Joey’s grandmother backed into a corner. The hunted look returned to the wizened woman’s face.

“Shrimp puff?” Her eyes darted from side to side; until they focused back onto Kaiba, hope gleaming in her eyes.

Kaiba looked at a man in a suit who had accepted a delicacy from the oddly attired woman. The imbecile was red in the face, periodically clutching his stomach. Kaiba turned a cool look to the grandmother. Another look around the room showed that more than half of the original roster was gone, and a third of the remaining attendees were reacting the same way as the idiot in the suit. Which could stand for all of them, really.

“No thank you. For some reason, I believe it would be in my best interest to only accept food from waitresses whose uniforms actually match.” Kaiba raised his hand in order to draw the other’s attention to the rest of the room, accenting his point.

“Your sharp, I see. I approve.” Her smile became pointed, and oddly disconcerting.

“I don’t understand.” Kaiba’s eyes narrowed in confusion, though he managed to make it appear to be disdain. “What do you approve of?”

“Well that’s an odd sort of question, child. You shouldn’t ask something like that out of the blue. People may think your crazy. I approve of shrimp puffs, obviously.”

Kaiba’s true feelings soon mirrored the annoyance in his gaze. This doddering old lady was going to give him a straight answer if he had to hang her from her toes. “Do you work here, or does another of your grandchildren have good connections.”

Hyoumei could see that he saw the wheels start turning in her head, wondering what she would tell him next. She decided to give him a well-delivered version of the truth. He would catch too many lies too close together. Something to satisfy that curiosity, while throwing him off the trail. “I only have two grandchildren. And the second is not involved with anything corporate. You know the first, obviously.”

Kaiba opened his mouth for another question when a shoulder rudely pushed him into a wall. There before him stood Jounouchi Katsuya, glaring indifferently at him. It was an odd look, as though just tried out for the first time. Kaiba drew himself up, intimidation soaking his disposition. He saw that it had a substantial effect on the other person.

“What, exactly are you doing with my Grandmother? I fear that if you have been bothering her, I will have to have you removed.”

Grandmother? She only had two grandchildren…and Joey had a sister…His eyes widened in triumph. So, puppy had his own business, hmm? A cross-check would show any connections between Joey and ‘Katsuya’. Puppy was on a level with him, and he was holding back. There was no stopping Kaiba now, he had everything he needed. Tomorrow, the games begin.

“I meant no disrespect. My questions have been answered.” He shot a meaningful gaze at Joey. He knew it was Joey now.


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It was that tone again, and those eyes. Kaiba had looked at him before he departed, and there was something in his glance. A knowing, and an amusement, that put Joey on edge. Katsuya had been suitably annoyed when he saw his Grandmother accosted by that arrogant prick, Joey had been damn angry, and anxious. When Kaiba had turned though, he was just so...hot. It was enough to considerably effect his breathing patterns, and his body temperature.

After regaining what thought he had left, Joey watched as Kaiba walked away. He was a bit stunned by the near-apology that Kaiba had given; it was probably the most sincere one ‘Moneybags’ had ever given. Nearly everyone was gone, a freak case of the stomach flu or some such.

“I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. I approve.”

Joey looked at his grandma in alarm. “I told you, I’m not having anything to do with him!”

She looked at him funny, “I didn’t know you were that modest Joey, but you can wait for the wedding day if you want to. I didn’t, but you know, it’s your choice.”

Shock and horror rolled across his features, how did she always manage to turn everything against him! “Get off it, will ya! Never, never anything with him!”

“Well, unfortunately for you, he’s the only one we will do business with. And you will be sleeping with him for some time, I suspect. He’s the only one that passed the test. Really, anyone worth talking to wouldn’t take a shrimp puff from someone dressed like this!”

There was an awkward silence. “Hey, Grandma?”

“Hmm?”

“You didn’t give anything away, did you?”

“I didn’t. But coupled with his observations and your appearance, I don’t think the boy needs much else.”


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Kaiba sat in his limousine, quietly heading back to the Kaiba mansion. Adreneline raced through him at the thought of putting his claim on his puppy. A shrill ring from his cell phone stopped any…interesting…thoughts.
“Kaiba.”

“Hello Mr. Kaiba”

“Mrs. Wheeler?”

“Hmm, as I assume you already know, that’s not my name. You can call me Jounouchi-san.”

“Why are you calling, Jounouchi-san?”

“You know that Joey is my grandchild, and I am his guardian. You also know that Jounouchi Katsuya doesn’t exist. So, I have a proposition.”

“What is it?” Two propositions in one day? What will happen next?

“I know that you have feelings for my grandchild, and I heartily disapprove of same-sex relationships.”

Kaiba stiffened. He thought he heard a faint giggle, but dismissed it as imagination. A disapproving family member with her power would be extremely difficult to bypass. “And what are you proposing?”

“If you can seduce Joey into your bed three times, I will step aside. If it happens thrice, it’s destiny. That is part of Jounouchi tradition. I, however, must be present at the naming of my great-grandchildren.”

“I will agree. But we are bo-”

“Ahh! No excuses! You accepted!” There was a click, followed by the dial tone. She had hung up. Odd woman.


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Jounouchi Hyoumei hung up on the infamous Seto Kaiba. Unlike the vast majority of people in Domino City, she clung the traditional Japanese language. Many people were adopting English names, or putting the family name after their own. But she was a traditionalist, at least, in that respect.

She chuckled as she thought over her conversation with Kaiba. He was thoroughly smitten with Joey, and he knew it. Joey felt the same, but was fighting it. She had tried her hand at matchmaking, and was now hoping for the best. Cupid couldn’t have done better himself. Besides, her great-grandbabies are gonna be gorgeous!


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To my reviewers:

melodyz07: So, his disguise was almost good enough! Sorry bout the cliffy, I think it was anticlimactic...next chapter will be better, I promise!

bishielover: Thanks, my favorite pair is s/j too! I just can't see seto as uke, and he's never written well as an uke. It bugs me.

Your Burden: I'll try! Hopefully it's still great!

dizloop: Glad you liked it! Hope you liked what Joey's granny is doing now!

flukes: Wouldn't we all? Don't feel bad about knowing how to review, I suck at it!

Cody_Thomas: I loved writing the dream sequence, I hope it was as much fun to read! I plan to make the living situation very...intense.

Soo...it was horrible. It just took so long to sit down at finish it, it's a lot more rushed. As bad as it was, review! I need to confidence boost if you want to see how it continues! I swear, there will be something REALLY juicy in ch. 5. It's unavoidable, really. Kaiba and Joey, alone in a mansion. It get's HOT!