Big Lie, Small World

A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! I truly appreciate the comments and the support. I know Yuugi was OC, and it’s very strange because every time I write him and Atemu as see them in whatever personality I’m writing, so they don’t appear OC to me. I forget that you guys aren’t always in my head. Heh, sorry. Just to assuage any fears that may be out there, I could never write a story where Yuugi and Atemu didn’t wind up together at the end, so please don’t think that’s going to happen and stop reading because of that, or the first few paragraphs of this chapter. Yuugi’s going to turn around a bit at the end, and then next chapter will include the fireworks.

I hope you enjoy, and I’ll see you at the conclusion!

- Ocean


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Chapter Two – Differing Perspective

Yuugi leaned over the counter, his violet eyes reflecting the light off the immaculate glass that housed the specific piece of jewelry he was interested in. Well, to be accurate, it wasn’t he who was interested in it, but his companion. Either way, a grin pulled itself across his lips as he asked the jeweler to remove the trinket for closer inspection.

“So this is the one you like, huh?” Yuugi asked once he took hold of the gold bracelet, allowing it to lace through his fingers when he held it up for her perusal. “Of all the jewelry in the store, you want this dainty little thing.” He received a glare for his efforts before the woman nodded and gave him a smile that lit up a room that was already glaring.

Pleased with himself, Yuugi handed the bracelet back to the jeweler to be wrapped and purchased. He braced his elbow on the glass and leaned into it, his hands lightly clasped and head tilted in curiosity as his female companion took the opportunity to further explore the store.

What a refreshing day it had been. Leaving for work that morning before Atemu – which only happened because his partner was running late – Yuugi had decided during his drive that he was in no mood to spend such a beautiful day stuck in an office, and on a whim had turned his car in the direction of his playmate. She had been pleasantly surprised to find him standing on her doorstep unannounced, and had immediately agreed to join him in playing hooky so they could spend the day together. It wasn’t often that the two could steal more than a few hours and they both reveled in the prospect of spending the day free from reality.

Yuugi remembered exactly how he met her. After another one of his many arguments with Atemu during that particularly taxing month, Yuugi had stormed out of the apartment only to find himself at the grocery store, releasing his anger in the produce aisle. Blindly grabbing at a pile of peaches, unaware of the bruises he was causing to the fruit, his not-so-discreet mutterings to himself were interrupted when a woman had come up beside him and asked, “Rough day?” He had dropped the peach he’d been holding, nearly causing an avalanche of fruit, and turned on her with the expectation of seeing sympathy on her face. Instead he found humor. It was such a blow to his stressed mind that he invited her over to the coffee shop within the store for the simple reason that he needed to sit down.

Smiling at the memory, Yuugi lowered his eyes to his hands. He never expected that such a chance encounter would ever lead to this; to him standing in a jewelry store with someone other than Atemu, thrilled that he was able to buy his companion an expensive, beautiful symbol of his affection. He hadn’t been looking for a relationship, never even considered himself to be the type of person who wouldn’t remain strictly monogamous, but here he was. And it had been so unbelievingly easy to hide it from Atemu that Yuugi almost felt obligated to keep the charade going.

The thought made him frown lightly. It had been easy because Atemu had been so disinterested in his daily affairs that the man barely even asked Yuugi how his day was going with any sort of honesty. The question was automatic, expected, and Yuugi responded in the same bland tones that maintained the relationship without instigating another argument. It was just so droll. Everything about the couple known as ‘Atemu and Yuugi’ was exceedingly dull and monotonous, and Yuugi didn’t have a clue how things had gotten that way. But when he thought about it, he couldn’t remember their relationship ever being any different. It wasn’t a bad relationship, not in the way others used the word; there was no physical violence, and their ‘battle sequences,’ as Yuugi called them, were simply a part of existence. However it wasn’t good, because Yuugi didn’t look forward to waking up every morning next to Atemu, nor was he ever in a rush to get home to be with him.

Why was he even with Atemu in the first place? He couldn’t say it was because he was in love, nor did he have any delusion as to think that Atemu was in love with him. They were familiar with each other, and perhaps, if he were feeling bold, he would go so far as to say that occasionally they were fond of each other, but anything deeper than that? No, not really. Not even close.

Seven years. Seven years of attaching himself to someone who didn’t make him feel… didn’t make him feel. He blinked in surprise, unprepared for the abruptness of the statement. Was that what it was? Atemu didn’t make him feel? That he didn’t make Atemu feel? The flat voices, the platonic hugs and kisses that were mechanical, knee-jerk reactions to the fact that they were life partners… could it all be explained by both of them failing to make the other feel? And if that were the case, what on earth should they do about it? Yuugi didn’t even know if he had the desire to care to find out.

He chuckled to himself. He was wrong on one thing. Their arguments certainly made both of them feel something or they wouldn’t keep having them. But what, exactly, he didn’t know.

Brought out of his thoughts by the jeweler handing him a small bag, complete with gold tissue paper and a black velvet box for the bracelet, Yuugi shook his head to get his primary relationship out of his mind so he could return to this fanciful trip from reality. He had ignored his companion long enough, and he was in the mood for some good times. With a smirk that oozed mischievous intent, Yuugi dangled the bag in front of his companion and impishly grinned when she took it and kissed him on the corner of his mouth.

It was so much easier with her. She responded, she felt, and she had no problem sharing this with Yuugi.

Spirits restored, Yuugi wrapped his arm around her waist and with a wave of his hand at the jeweler guided her out the store. It was nearing lunch time and his appetite was awakening to the aroma of a most pleasurable afternoon. He couldn’t resist tickling her when she punched him playfully in the shoulder, and her laughter bubbled inside him, making him feel light and airy and altogether free from the stresses of the real world. The tickling progressed to prolonged touches, and soon neither of them cared that they were in public while they let their hands roam along rounded shoulders, long limbs and strong backs. Yuugi did have the presence of mind to step back against the nearest building, which still happened to be the jewelry store, but it was more for savoring the moment than it was for propriety’s sake. After a moment of smiling into her sparkling eyes, Yuugi leaned in and had a pleasantly sluggish appetizer of a kiss.

When she pulled back she asked, “Have any special plans for this evening?”

“Mmm,” Yuugi hummed, rocking her from side to side. “I don’t know. Do I?” he asked with a cheeky grin.

“Yes, you most certainly do,” she said, laughing. “You don’t think I’m just going to let you barge into my day and take it over without a little compensation, do you?”

Yuugi rolled his eyes, amused, but unwilling to express it any further. A delightful invitation that was. He checked his watch, swinging her around to look at his wrist behind her back in favor of not releasing her waist. Yuugi noted that it was just about time for Atemu to be on his lunch break. He’d be writing him his customary email soon, and seeing as how he wasn’t near a computer, Yuugi was going to have to make a preemptive strike in order to waylay suspicion about an unanswered letter. Oh well. It should be easy enough. Reaching into his pocket Yuugi removed his cell phone, pressing and holding down the speed dial key programmed for his partner’s phone. She tried to ask him if he was calling Atemu but was silenced by a kiss that curled her toes with its affection.

It was odd, though, Yuugi thought as he kissed her and listened to the phone ring. He’d never talked to Atemu when he’d been flirting with her before, and though he never thought it would be awkward after the relationship had progressed to the next level, he found a nervous sloshing form in the pit of his stomach. It was small, barely there, but the fact that it was noticeable was enough to make Yuugi pause. For a lightning quick moment the thought that what he was doing was wrong slashed through his mind, but it was gone just as quickly with the sweet caress down his side that made him shudder.

“Hey aibou.”

There were several moments that passed between Atemu answering the phone and Yuugi’s ability to answer, seeing as how she simply wasn’t letting go of his mouth and he was finding it difficult to argue. Eventually he was able to break free and even his breath so he could reply. “Hey yourself, Até.” He waited for the snap he knew would come.

“You know I hate that.”

“Why else do you think I use it?” Yuugi was just barely able to get the words out of his mouth when she reached forward and tickled his stomach, purposefully trying to ruin his conversation by making him laugh inappropriately. He was able to tone it down enough that Atemu would interpret it as a familiar sound. “How’s your day going dear?” he asked, leering at her in warning to keep her hands to herself, thank you very much, while simultaneously extending the endearment to her. It made her smile, which made him smile, which made his stomach churn uncomfortably for reasons he didn’t understand.

“Well, I can honestly say that the day was progressing as any other.”

“Is that so?” Yuugi asked, missing Atemu’s use of past tense as he removed her hand from his mouth and circled behind her, pining his phone between his ear and shoulder so he could wrap his arms around her and keep her devious hands well clasped to her sides and away from his body. “Nothing new and exciting to report from the world of psychiatry?” He was forced to lean down and kiss her for she simply would not stop laughing at his predicament, angling his phone away so there’d be no chance of Atemu hearing her voice or the sounds of the kiss.

“No. That world remains relatively steady.”

“Mm-hmm.” Gods, was she a good kisser. It was all he could think despite the acid that boiled in his stomach with Atemu’s words. “That’s good.” He rubbed his nose against hers, lost in the happiness she provided him. But even though he was thoroughly distracted, Yuugi did notice the amazing clarity of the connection on the phone. “Geeze, where are you? At the café? It’s time for your lunch, isn’t it? We usually don’t get this good a reception.” They never had this clear a reception when Atemu was at the internet café.

“I’m outside.”

The lack of hesitation in the reply assured Yuugi that Atemu was telling the truth. He was simply standing outside the café, and that was probably why it had taken him so long to answer the phone as he maneuvered his way through the crowd to reach the door. He could say a lot about Atemu, but Yuugi could not call the man a liar. He was brazenly honest. When you could get him to talk. This stubbornness was the cause of half of their arguments alone. Of course, Yuugi’s own habit of being amazingly self-centered was an instigator of many of their ‘battle sequences’ as well.

“Oh, okay,” Yuugi said. His stomach was still bothering him, and it had enough of his attention to pull him away from the woman in his arms and actually think about the conversation and the man on the other end of the line. Why this sudden feeling that he wanted to throw up? “Anyway, I was calling to see if you could go to the store after work? We don’t have anything for dinner since Jounochi came over last weekend and I’m going to be stuck at the office until eight.”

There, he thought. Kill three birds with one stone. Give Atemu something to do, get food back into the house, and cover himself long enough to enjoy her company for that much longer. Yuugi felt a little better about things, which made him frown. Wait, what? Was that guilt that had made him think of something for Atemu to do while he was out having an affair?

Having an affair?

Those were three words Yuugi’d never put in the same sentence before, and it included one that he had never used in relation to what he and the woman in his arms were doing. His mouth suddenly tasted extremely bitter to him, way in the back on his tongue, and he tried to force a swallow down a throat that was not inclined to be cooperative.

“We could just order out tonight, save us both the trouble.” Atemu said.

Yuugi distinctly heard the tilt in Atemu’s voice at the end of the statement, making it sound almost like a question, like a… like a plea? To stay in? But… that wasn’t something they usually asked each other to do. They didn’t plan evenings at home, and certainly not in the middle of the day. Why was Atemu even thinking of such a thing? Couldn’t he have just agreed like he always did, just have said that that would be fine and he’d go to the store and did they need anything particular and he’d see him later tonight? Why was he choosing now to do something unexpected? And worst of all…

… why did it make Yuugi feel horrible about himself? He felt… horrible. From the churning in his stomach, to the bitterness on his tongue, to the headache from a neck he didn’t even know he had tensed and to the concerned look she was giving him over her shoulder, he felt horrible.

He tilted his head into his phone, as though the added pressure would allow him to somehow connect with Atemu and figure out what the hell was going on. “I… suppose, we could do that,” Yuugi had difficulty saying, releasing the woman in his arms to stand on her own. “We still need to go to the store though,” he continued, his mouth trying to find a way to save him from the uncomfortable feelings that were creeping up his legs like overeager vines, “and I’d rather get that done so we don’t have to worry about it tomorrow. I’d go but you’ll be getting home before me tonight.” Which was true – which would have still been true even if he wasn’t –

“Of course,” Atemu said, and Yuugi winced at the tone of his voice, sullen and accepting, the first definitive sign of emotion he’d shown in the entire conversation. “I have no plans for this evening. It’ll give me something to do.”

That was exactly what Yuugi had wanted Atemu to think, but now that their thoughts were running parallel he didn’t like it. Not at all. Not at all. She noticed the tension in him and stepped forward to wrap her arms around his chest, nestling her head beneath his chin, offering her quiet support to what she could only assume was a reaction to something Atemu had said. Yuugi automatically curled his arm to place his hand on her back, not fully aware who it was that he was holding, his free hand rising to take hold of the phone so it wouldn’t fall with the new position. He didn’t know what to think about the whole conversation. He didn’t know what to think about the whole situation… situations… His head hurt trying to think about it, and Yuugi had the distinct impression that his heart wasn’t far behind. Suddenly, he just felt immensely drained. That was, until Atemu spoke again.

“You were in good spirits today,” Atemu said calmly. “I hope you’ve had good company.”

Finally, Yuugi was alert enough to listen to the warning bells that were ringing with their most obnoxious trill in a desperate attempt to gain his attention. He frowned deeply, the action causing worry in the woman in his arms, and she tilted her head to gain his attention but failed. Yuugi’s eyes were distant with worry. Her own alarm grew when Yuugi’s hand stilled on her back.

“Atemu?” Yuugi asked breathlessly. “What’s going on?” And how had Atemu read is fall in mood so easily? He knew he hadn’t given it away in his voice, even if his hesitation over dinner at home had been awkward. It would have been awkward regardless of his having an – regardless!

“Not a thing dear,” Atemu answered. “Everything’s taken care of. I’ll see you when you get home.”

Dear? Now? “But-!”

“Hmm?”

The affectionate quality behind the hum of inquiry pulled at Yuugi’s chest and he found himself falling forward, having already been off-balance in the sudden, hysterical urge to stop Atemu from hanging up the phone. From cutting him off. From allowing him to get away with his lies. He hadn’t been expecting the emotion, hadn’t even considered it existed for him, and it left him faltering. “Um… I uh…” he started, but was unable to voice what he wanted to say for the simple fact he didn’t know what that was. Instead, at a loss for words, he finished lamely, “Don’t forget the milk, okay?”

“I won’t.”

And the deep, he could almost say pained chuckle that followed left Yuugi frozen. Though the acid in his stomach was still boiling with a vengeance, much to his dismay.

The moment was broken with the loud screech of a siren, and Yuugi turned his head to find the source, momentarily forgetting the woman he was with in search of the obtrusive noise. It wasn’t until the third time he heard the shrill sound that he realized that not only could he hear the siren from the fire engine on the street, but he could hear it over the phone. The possibility of two fire engines releasing their warnings at exactly the same time and in exactly the same pattern in different parts of the city was infinitesimal. And that could only mean one thing.

“Atemu, where are you?!” he demanded, anger flaring in him at the possibility of the impossible. He stepped away from his play date, ignoring her questions as he turned his head from side to side like a determined sprinkler eager to reach every inch of the yard. He just knew that Atemu was watching, was here somewhere, and damn it all if he wasn’t going to find him and… and do… he was going to find him first. He’d worry about pummeling him later.

“Like I said, aibou, I’m outside.”

And Yuugi found him, just as he finished speaking, and all the anger that had surged to the surface in its righteousness instantly retreated with its tail between its legs at the sight of Atemu leaning against the street light. There wasn’t a sign of anger on his face, not a bit of rage emanating from his eyes. There was simple, calm acceptance of the situation. The man didn’t even seem upset that he had been spotted. But one thing Yuugi did notice was the fatigue that encircled his partner like a bear hug, and it made his eyes widen in disbelief. How… when had Atemu become so tired? And why the hell hadn’t he noticed? You don’t sleep next to someone for seven years and not notice when they can barely stand!

“See you tonight, Yuugi,” he heard Atemu say quietly, without bite, without the hint of accusation.

Yuugi watched him close his phone before turning around and… walking into the subway?! But Atemu hated the subway! He avoided it like the plague. There was only one reason Yuugi could think of for Atemu to voluntarily take the subway, and that was a dire need to get away. Atemu didn’t run often, but when he did, he did it fast and efficiently.

“Yuugi?” his date asked, placing a concerned hand on his shoulder. He didn’t turn around, suddenly not in the mood for airy fantasies or the lightness that she offered. But he didn’t believe it, and so turned and grasped her tightly, kissing her with an enthusiastic harshness neither of them expected. She stiffened in his arms but relented, unsure why Yuugi was kissing her but not in a position to complain about it.

As the kiss continued it didn’t progress, and try as he might Yuugi could find none of the enjoyment he had experienced before he’d called Atemu. Breaking away slowly, lost in conflicting thoughts of loyalty, he found he couldn’t bring himself to do anything more than close his eyes and shake his head against the stark truth. He had been discovered. And what had Atemu done? Wished him a good day and told him he’d see him at home. It was equivalent to giving him permission to continue with the… with the affair. At least for the rest of the day.

And boy, did that make his blood boil.

“Yuugi?” she asked again when he wouldn’t say anything. “Was that Atemu?” She chewed on her lip when Yuugi nodded. “So he saw us,” she conceded, unaffected by Yuugi’s disgruntled snort. “Well, I suppose it was bound to happen eventually. I guess it’s for the best, anyway. Yeah, right,” she continued, convincing herself of her certainty. “This is good, Yuugi, you see? We don’t have to go around lying anymore.”

Yuugi opened one eye to look at her hopeful face, making it quite clear that he did not share her optimism. “What are you saying?”

“This is our opportunity, isn’t it?” she asked, her brows creasing in worry when Yuugi’s expression did not soften. “He saw us, but all he did was walk away. He didn’t even look angry. Maybe this… I don’t know, gives him an opportunity too?”

“Our opportunity?” Yuugi repeated quietly, testing the words. Honestly, he had never thought about the two of them in terms of having an opportunity. He was pretty sure he knew what she was talking about, and though it was fun spending time with her, he didn’t know if he was willing to make the sacrifice that she was implying.

“Don’t you want to?” she asked, with a little bit of fear in her voice. “Why else are we here if you don’t want to?” When Yuugi refused to answer, to do nothing more than turn his head to the side and let his gaze melt into the horizon she grew angry. “Damnit Yuugi!” she said, balling her fists and slamming them into his chest. “Isn’t this what you wanted? Isn’t this why I risked being called the ‘other woman’ and a slut? Isn’t this why you took precautions to ensure we had time for each other every week? If your goal wasn’t to eventually leave him for me then what the hell were we doing?!”

“I don’t know!” Yuugi shouted. He pushed her back, out of his arms, which was easy to do because of her shock at his tone and his volume. Never had she experienced this side of him, though she heard him talk of it often enough in relation to his fights with Atemu. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing! I haven’t known for seven years.” Throwing his hands up in frustration Yuugi turned his back to her and tossed a hand into his hair, pulling on the strands, the other pressed into his hip. “I don’t even know why I was with him in the first place!”

“Then leave,” she said quietly. “Now’s your chance. All you have to do is leave and you can do whatever you want.”

That was the problem. If she had told him that any time before today he would have probably agreed with her. He may not have acted on it, but he would have agreed with her. And if he hadn’t talked to Atemu today, he may have taken her up on her earlier offer for a weekend getaway. If Atemu hadn’t been able to stir emotion in him, to make him feel, she would have had a very good argument. And to make him feel what he did: affection, concern, familiarity… closeness. Seven years of your life was a long time, and Yuugi couldn’t just cut the ties to a man he had shared so much with, even if it wasn’t all good times and lollipops. Faced with the opportunity to leave him, Yuugi found the acid levels in his stomach triple and the bitterness return in his mouth and the warning bells ring with their chorus, and for once he wasn’t going to be so thick as to ignore them.

“I can’t just leave him like that,” he whispered, then said more strongly after he turned to face her, “I don’t want to leave him.”

She didn’t say anything for a long moment. “You bastard,” she finally seethed when Yuugi offered no further explanation. “You bastard! I’ll tell you this,” she said, waving her hand at him in her fury, “you can’t have both of us any more. Choose right now.”

Yuugi stared at her, momentarily paralyzed with the choice he was being forced to make. His eyes glowed with indignation, and though he was just as much at fault for this as she was, he could not forgive her for breaking the one rule they had agreed on: never to ask the other to choose between their real life and each other.

The image of Atemu’s fatigue, propped against the street lamp, blinking languidly and heading down the stairs to the subway, Yuugi was pulled in a direction he’d never dreamed he’d choose again.

Taking a few steps backwards, Yuugi spread his hands in reprimand. “You can keep the bracelet,” he said, his voice dripping with his displeasure. “I have no use for it.” The bag landed angrily at his feet, and it was only after a lengthy internal debate that he decided to bend down and pick it up. “You sure?” he asked, raising his eyebrow skeptically.

“Go to hell,” she spat, turning on her heal and marching down the sidewalk.

“Tch, like that isn’t already going to happen,” Yuugi muttered. Tucking his hands into his pockets he began walking in the direction of his office. If he wasn’t going to spend the day out on a date, he might as well go to work.

Following Atemu never crossed his mind.


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To be concluded…