Beauty

First things First: Thanks so much, everyone, for the reviews. I know this chapter took forever, but you’d be surprised how much writing I’ve been doing lately. Although, this story is a poor example of it. This chapter wound up being longer than anticipated, but I figured you guys deserved a good lengthy chapter. We pick up things two weeks after Yugi’s rape, and we get to see some great Bakura and Joey action. Physical, not sexual of course. Enjoy. ^_^


Disclaimer: I own nothing.


Song Notes: Kissing You by Desree, Trouble by Coldplay, How Did You Get Here by Deborah Cox, Deliver Me by Sarah Brightman


Chapter 16: Transcendence


Deliver me out of my sadness
Deliver me from all of the madness
Deliver me courage to guide me
Deliver me strength from inside me

All of my life, I’ve been in hiding
Wishing there was someone just like you
Now that you’re here, now that I’ve found you
I know that you’re the one to pull me through

~Deliver Me
Sarah Brightman

Two weeks felt more like ten, the time passing did nothing to improve Yugi’s disposition. It felt like time was standing still, like he was standing still. He was screaming in an empty room at the top of his lungs, and no one could hear him. No one cared. He had held off on going to see anyone. Although Tristan promised seeing a counselor would help him reach transcendence. He wasn’t sure he’d ever reach a point where he felt like a whole, emotional being again. The counselor was his last hope, and if going to see one didn’t work than he would really be doomed.

The only way his mind had been able to deal with things was by shutting him off from himself, as if the part of him that was now tainted by the rape, the part that had died that afternoon on that bed was a separate piece of himself, shut off and locked up deep inside of him. He hadn’t been able to feel anything, the numbness now completely consuming him. Washing over his battered spirit like a dark and threatening tide, surging against his senses and deadening them.

The day he had really lost it and broken down was last week, when he had gotten the results of his medical tests. He had been clean, though the doctor had warned him that he would have to come back for another test eventually. He hadn’t been positive for anything, including of course, his biggest concern, HIV. He had been with Tristan when the doctor had read the results and Tristan had to carry his weeping, limp body to the car as he sobbed inconsolably.

Tristan had been incredibly invaluable these last two weeks, practically living at the apartment, making dinners, taking out the garbage. Joey had been responding to Yugi’s disjointed behavior and it was killing him inside but Tristan had been able to remove himself from it, but still be a good friend. He had comforted both Yugi and Joey. And neither could imagine what they’d be doing if Tristan wasn’t over constantly giving them support and his seemingly ens sts strength.

Yugi knew he needed to go see someone. But going felt like that meant Malik had won, that he had gotten his revenge. It meant that he was really broken. And maybe, he was. He was still unglued, he was still unhinged. The emptiness that had first manifested itself in him when Yami left had spread. There was only a small piece of himself that was still him, the person he had once been. And that person was close to being extinguished.

It didn’t help matters that despite Tristan’s best efforts Joey still treated him like a fine piece of china. Or that his best friend had taken to deciding who he was and wasn’t going to be seeing anymore. The list of people Yugi was allowed to talk to was a blank list, except for the blond and the brunet, Joey saw no reason for Yugi to have contact with any of his ex-lovers.

Including the only one who still continued to call him.

Bakura.

Tristan was dutiful about getting Yugi’s cell phone number changed, seeing the distressed look on the shorter male’s face every time one of the boys in his collection called the cellular device. That didn’t stop Bakura though, who called the apartment at least twice a day. Of course Yugi had no idea it had gotten to be that much because ninety percent of the time it was Joey who intercepted the call and promptly hung up.

As far as Joey was concerned Bakura was to have nothing more to do with his best friend. Bakura made an easy outlet, since Joey had been too busy caring for Yugi to try to exact any kind of revenge on Malik. Bakura was a perfect scapegoat. Someone to lash out on. Joey didn’t see what Tristan did, he didn’t see that Bakura’s constant calling was coming from some place wonderful, somewhere in his troubled heart.

Truth be told, the only thing that prevented Bakura from just going to the apartment and finally finding out why Yugi was “unavailable tok tok to him” for two weeks was the part of him that didn’t want to have to beat the shit out of Joey. If Bakura saw Joey there would be nothing to stop him from taking out all his frustration on the blond roommate.

Bakura’s frustration at not knowing what was going on with his babyface was only magnified by Joey’s refusal to let him speak to Yugi. If things were really over for them, if eight plus months of laughter and tears were now finished he wanted to hear it from Yugi. He wanted to confirm his biggest fear with him. Maybe he was so frustrated because a part of him could see it really being over and he didn’t have the courage to face that yet.

It felt over. He felt almost like he was pulling a Ryou…calling so much. And as for Tristan, he had been little to no help. Tristan could never talk to him on the phone, cell phone or otherwise, because he seemed to be spending an awful lot of time with Yugi and Joey. And as for email correspondence, Tristan had only written him twice, telling him cryptically that Yugi needed a little time to get himself straightened out, and that it would be best for the bouncer to lay low until he did.

What did that mean, Bakura didn’t know. If not for Tristan, he probably would have long since stopped calling, stopped worrying. Cut his losses and moved on. No, that wasn’t even true. He would have still stayed…still called, still paced back and forth wondering what in the world was going on without him. Yugi’s rejection hurt him, it cut him to the quick, if for no other reason than that hesidesidered Yugi a friend first and foremost. Had none of what he had done meant anything to him? Had Yugi never thought of him as a confidant? No, he had to, Yugi came running to his apartment every time life hit him hard.

He was waiting for Yugi to come running this time. To knock on the door while he’d be in the middle of making dinner. He’d answer and there he’d be, standing there, looking at him and saying nothing. Bakura would pick him up and hold him and make everything alright again.

Each day had been longer than the last. Like Yugi he had been going through the motions. What he hadn’t realized until Yugi was really gone was that his love for him had gone deeper than he had wanted to realize. He ached for Yugi, he longed for him. He missed his touch, his giggle. The fights, the sex. All of it. Yugi had made him fall in love with him. He had never felt like this about anyone. Not even Ryou. It was scary and overwhelming, and frustrating. And that was why he couldn’t walk away, why he couldn’t give up on this. On him.

Yugi had changed him without even meaning to. He had always detested weakness. He had always hated neediness. He wasn’t stupid, he knew that Yugi’s mixed signals and hot and cold behavior came from that part of him that was terrified of committing, that stemmed from fear of being left alone. Yugi had abandonment issues, Bakura idly wondered if they had settled long before things ended with Yami, if they came from childhood.

A conversation Yugi and him had once about Yugi’s parents replayed itself in his mind almost everyday:


“I don’t have any parents, Kura. MY grandfather is my parent.”

“What happened to them? Did they die when you were a child?” Bakura wondered, pouring Yugi milk for his cereal. He hated being too sleepy to make Yugi a proper breakfast, but Yugi had worn him out last night, and damn if his little lover was going to get a continental breakfast this time.

Ever since Yugi and him had started seeing each other regularly two months ago Bakura had been curious about him. Asking questions, trying to understand what made Yugi tick.

“They didn’t die, Kura. I’m sure they’re alive somewhere, living out their lives.”

“I don’t understand. Were things not working out?”

“They were young. They couldn’t handle the responsibility of caring for me. When I was three we were visiting my grandfather and when I woke up in the middle of the night they weren’t in bed anymore. I was always scared of my grandpa’s house. The shadows always looked menacing. I assumed they’d be back so I curled up into a ball. I never did fall back asleep that night. As soon as it got light out I got up and looked around for them, wondering why they had disappeared.

The circus was in town, and my parents promised that if we went to see my grandfather I could go to the circus. I thought they had gone to the circus without me because I hadn’t wanted to eat my carrots at dinner.” Yugi looked up into Bakura’s eyes. “They didn’t even bother to leave a note. I had been too young to notice, but they had packed up all my things, all my toys and my clothes and put them in the trunk of the car. Before they fled they put the suitcases of my things in the kitchen. My entire three years of life sat on the blue tiles staring at me and my grandfather.”

“Did your grandpa ever try to contact them?”

“I’m sure he did. I don’t really know what happened. I remember coming home one day when I was fifteen and seeing an envelope containing a check in it that came from them. They had hoped that because I was only three I would forget about them, that my grandfather could tell me they had gotten sick and died. He never told me that. We never spoke about it. My parents never wanted me. I was a costly mistake. I guess I have some of them in me, though. I’m like them. I runaway from my problems just like they do.”


It was Sunday night, Bakura was off from work this weekend, he didn’t have any studying to do. He tried to watch some television, hoping in vain to take his mind off of his troubles. Off of Yugi. But he knew it was futile to even try. He wanted so much to see him, but it was impossible to know what would happen if he did.

He picked up the cordless and dialed. He had dialed so many times he could do it with his eyes clothes, hands tied. The phone rang twice before it picked up. He knew Joey and Yugi had caller ID. He wondered why it was Joey would pick up if he was just going to yell at him again. Maybe he got a kick out of it. Who knew.

Joey’s eyes narrowed in anger as he spat, “I’m getting tired of erasing messages off our answering machine. I’ve been too busy to call the operator and have your number blocked, but I swear to god, Bakura, if you don’t stop calling here it’ll come to that.”

“Block me and I’ll just come to the apartment.”

“Come to this apartment and I’ll have you arrested for trespassing.”

“I’d like to see you try calling the police after I finish with you.” Bakura gripped the phone in a death hold. “I’m done playing games with you. Enough posturing. If you want me to stop calling then you put Yugi on the phone.”

“It’s been two weeks, when are you going to get a fucking clue. He wants nothing more to do with you. You’re a liar and an asshole, and I won’t allow you to hurt him anymore.”

“I’m a liar? You’re the one who won’t tell him I’ve called. How much longer do you think we’re going to go back and forth? I will speak to him, I don’t care if you like it or not. I’m sick and tired of your crap, Blondie. If you think I’m playing with you you’re in for a rude awakening.”

“Maybe I should get a tape recorder and tape these conversations and have you arrested for making terrorist threats. You’re real fucking hard headed. I have no problem settling this with you, Bakura, once and for all. I already told you it’s over for you and him. You won’t be seeing him again.”

“Oh yes I will.”

“Over my dead body.”

“That can be arranged. You think I’d think twice about hurting you? I already told you, I’m not going anywhere.”

“And I told you not to call here again, Bakura. Yugi doesn’t want to have anything else to do with you… don’t call him again.”

“Fuck you, Blondie. Put Yugi on the phone, I’m tired of your fucking bullshit.”

“What part of no are you having trouble with.”

“I’d hate to have to come over there and do some cosmetic surgery on your fucking face, Joey. I’m not playing with you. I swear to fucking God, if you don’t put Yugi on the damn phone right fucking now…” Joey hung up.

“That fucking asshole, who the fuck does he think he’s talking too!” Joey suddenly became aware that Yugi was standing in the doorway, staring at him with startled violet eyes. Wonderful, Joey…just wonderful…

“Who was that, Joey?”

“Absolutely no one.” Joey put the phone back on the charger. “You want something to drink?”

“Was that Bakura? Did he call again?”

“No. He hasn’t called in four days. That was just some guy, one of the guys you use to see. That’s all.”

“He hasn’t called in four days, you’re sure, Joey?”

“Positive.” The phone rang again. Joey glanced at the caller ID. Maybe it was time he got a restraining order.

“Who is that?” Yugi asked, walking towards the blond. Joey picked up the phone and hung it up. Then promptly deleted the caller ID before Yugi could look at it. “Joey?”

“It’s no one, I just told you that. Did you have a good nap?”

“No. I had a nightmare.”

“Want me to make you some warm milk?” Yugi nodded and sat on the stool.

“You think Bakura’s going to call me again, Joey?”

“I thought we weren’t going to worry about Bakura anymore.” Yugi looked at Joey for a moment and then back down. “It’s better this way, Yug. He’s out of your life and you can finally heal.”

“I won’t heal, Joey…I’m always gonna feel like this.”

“Not true. You know that.” Yugi didn’t bother looking up. Joey poured milk into a saucer. “You’ll see, you’re going to be fine. I promise.”

“If you say so, Joey.” Joey cringed. Yugi had been saying that phrase constantly. If you say so, Joey. If you say so, Joey. Alright, Joey, if you say so… Yugi was only getting worse now. “Where’s Tristan? Is he coming over tonight?”

“He said he needed to finish with some account but would be over as soon as he could.”

“You’re lucky to have him, Joey. He’s a good guy. I’m glad you’re happy now.” Yugi’s words sounded disconnected, he was staring off into space, speaking without feeling. Joey had been so overly protective of him Yugi had started to feel like he was almost incapable of taking care of himself. He hadn’t left the apartment unless Joey or Tristan were with him. Joey or Tristan stayed with him until he fell asleep at night.

Joey even went as far as telling Yugi when to eat and sleep. He did what Joey wanted him to because he didn’t want to upset him. Joey was all he had now. And Tristan wouldn’t be around if not for Joey, so he had to keep Joey happy. He couldn’t lose Joey, not now. If he lost Joey that would be it for him…he’d end it. He didn’t tell Joey how much he wanted to end it, how much he thought about killing himself.

The thought of finally putting an end to his constant misery got more and more tempting with each moment. He didn’t think he’d have the guts to go through with it…but he didn’t know what else to do. Joey was smothering him, but if he stopped showing Joey he needed him Joey would stop caring. He didn’t know what else he was supposed to do.

The only time he was free was when he was sleeping. But even his sleep was plagued by nightmares. Sometimes violent nightmares. He had been sneaking sleeping pills, hoping he’d go into a deep enough sleep that he wouldn’t remember his dreams, wondering if maybe he was slowly becoming addicted to them.

Tristan had taken the pills yesterday. He told Yugi he wouldn’t be getting them back after he made Yugi admit to using them multiple times a day. He had been so out of it he had to take a leave of absence at work. Not that Joey would have probably let him work anyway. Joey needed to know where he was at all times and what he was doing, probably fearing Yugi was close to the end of his rope.

If Joey was at work Tristan was over, babysitting him. Yugi was surprised Joey allowed him to go to the bathroom by himself. He was surprised Joey didn’t hold Yugi’s penis for him while he relieved himself. Despite Joey’s smothering, Yugi appreciated his concern. How anyone could stand to be near him surprised him.

Why would anyone want anything to do with the slut turned rape victim? Wasn’t rape just the next logical step? He had to have wanted it, he had to have been asking for it. He had tried Tristan’s technique multiple times, looking up the word “guilt” every time he felt guilty. Tristan had taken to making Yugi look at himself in a mirror and tell himself twenty times that it was not his fault.

He promised once Yugi made more progress they cut it back to ten. Yugi wasn’t sure if it was working, he felt like he was brainwashing himself. Maybe it wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know what to think anymore. He hated doing it more than anything in the world, more than being forced to eat dinner when he wasn’t hungry, more than being told to go to bed when he was terrified of his nightmares.

Looking at himself in the mirror made him want to vomit. He had actually been vomiting up some of the food he had been eating, feeling sick to his stomach. But maybe he was doing it to gain back some of the control he no longer possessed. Tristan had mentioned that Yugi could develop an eating disorder. Maybe he was a bulimic now too. Just another thing to add to his continuing list of problems.

Perhaps Joey would back off some if he tried harder. Heaven knew he was trying. But it didn’t seem to be enough. Maybe it was time he talked to the counselor. These last two weeks had been unbearable. He had been contemplating suicide, half starving himself if not for Joey forcing him to eat. He couldn’t imagine doing this much longer, this would kill him. It was only a matter of time.

“Here, Yugi. It’s ready.” Yugi sipped from the mug and gave Joey a little smile. “Do you want to eat something?”

“No.”

“I think you should eat, Yugi. You didn’t have lunch today.”

“I don’t feel like throwing it back up, Joey. So no, I’m not hungry.”

“Have you been throwing up food, Yugi?” Yugi quickly shook his head. “Yugi, if you don’t want to eat I won’t make you, but you need to have some nourishment. You’ve already lost weight.”

“I feel sick when I eat, Joey.”

“Well you still have to eat. Let me fix you something. There’s chili left from Tristan’s dinner from last night. I could warm it up for you.”

“I don’t want it, Joey.”

“You didn’t eat since ten this morning.” Joey opened the refrigerator. “And if you’ve been throwing up food that means you’re eating even less than I thought.”

“But, Joey…”

“I’ll just warm up a little, alright?”

“Where’s Tristan?” Tristan wouldn’t make him eat. Tristan never forced him to do anything, except that mirror thing that he absolutely detested.

“He’s coming. I’ll fix you a bowl.”

“Joey…please…I don’t want to eat…”

“You eat practically nothing all day yesterday. And two pieces of toast this morning. You’re eating something.” Joey poured the chili into a bowl and Yugi watched.


“You like this, don’t you, you little slut…you like the way it feels?”

“Please…stop…it hurts…please…oh gods, stop…”

“Um…moan for me, Yugi…moan…”

“Stop…”

“MOAN…”


Tristan coming over was just the distraction Yugi needed. Joey went to greet his boyfriend and Yugi retreated to the bathroom and vomited up the chili.

“Baby, you look a little wound up, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Tristan held him for a moment and gave him a kiss. “Joey, why don’t you go take a drive to clear your head, you’ve been in this apartment all weekend.”

“Yugi and I went to the post office yesterday.”

“That’s not what I’d call going out.” Tristan looked at Joey critically. “Please, Joey. I’ll be here, Yugi will be fine.” Joey looked at Tristan for a moment.

“Alright.” Joey slipped on his shoes. “Yug, I’m going to the store, we’re out of milk. Alright?”

“Yeah, Joey.” Thank goodness, he’s leaving. He hated feeling like this about Joeu, but he was so frustrating sometimes. It was his fault he threw up. He didn’t want to eat, but Joey had made him. If Yugi hadn’t swallowed every drop of the chili Joey would have probably spoon-fed him.

Yugi finished brushing his teeth and went into his bedroom, Tristan was sitting on his bed.

“Hi, Tristan.”

“Yugi.” Tristan held out his arms and Yugi gave him a hug. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come by earlier, I was busy with work.”

“I understand.”

“Has Joey been driving you crazy?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll have another talk with him. You know he means well, but he’s having a hard time dealing with all of this.”

“I know it’s my fault Joey’s acting this way.” Tristan narrowed his eyes. “Don’t say it.”

“None of this is your fault, Yugi. I already told you that.”

“It is.”

“Did you do the exercise today?” Yugi shook his head no. “Do you want to?” Tristan had a way of having him do things without forcing him to. He appreciated that. That didn’t change the fact that he didn’t like saying it. “It’s up to you, Yugi. I won’t make you do anything that makes you uncomfortable. I’m only suggesting the exercise because I see a noticeable change in your demeanor afterwards.”

Yugi looked at Tristan and then at the floor. “I don’t like looking at myself, I don’t like the way I look.”

“Why not?”

“All of my clothes, besides Joey’s sweats I’ve starting living in remind me of who I am.”

“Who are you, Yugi?”

“A slut.” Tristan’s face was expressionless. “That’s all I’ve ever been.”

“Do you really think that’s all you are? Do you really feel that way?”

“That’s what people think I am.”

“Is that what Joey thinks?” Yugi looked at Tristan and nodded. “And do you think I feel like that too?”

“You did, Tristan. You can’t tell me you didn’t.”

“What about Bakura?” Yugi looked at Tristan, is eyes wide. “Do you think Bakura thinks your nothing but some slut?”

“I don’t want to talk about Bakura.”

“He misses you, Yugi. He’s worried about you.”

“I can’t see him anymore.”

“That’s your choice, but don’t you think you should tell him that?”

“I don’t know how. I don’t want Joey to get mad at me for calling him.”

“It’s your life. Not Joey’s. When Joey upsets you by making you do things you don’t want to do I want you to tell him. I want you to tell him how he makes you feel when he pressures you.”

“Won’t he be upset?”

“Of course not. If you want him to back off you have to take some more initiative. I can’t fight your battles for you. You need to learn how to be strong on your own.”

“I can’t.”

“You can.”

“I tried to tell Joey I wasn’t hungry. He made me eat anyway. He made me eat all of it. I throw it all back up when he didn’t see.”

“I’ll have a serious discussion with Joey. But I want you to be firm. Harsh. If Joey’s making you do something I want you to put your foot down, yell at him if you have to. It’s about saying no. Malik took that away from you, and now you’re afraid to say it. But Joey isn’t Malik, and he’ll listen to you.”

“I’m not sure, Tristan?” Yugi sat on the bed next to the brunet.

“We can try it. We can role-play. I’ll be Joey and you tell me no.” Yugi thought about it for a moment and agreed. “Here we go. Yugi, you need to eat breakfast, you’re losing weight. You’re too skinny.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You only think you’re not hungry. You need to eat, Yug. You have to.”

“I don’t want to eat, Joey. I’m not hungry.”

“You need to eat. End of discussion,” Tristan said, sounding almost threatening.

“I don’t. I don’t want to…”

“I don’t care what you want, Yugi. I know what’s good for you.” Tristan knew he was taking it further than Joey ever would…but he wanted to see how well Yugi could handle himself. He was purposely provoking him. “You need to do what I say.” Tristan narrowed his eyes and gave Yugi a threatening voice. “You will listen to me, Yugi. You will obey me.”

“I don’t have to do what you say. If you really cared about me you’d listen to me. You’d stop telling me what to do. You’d stop watching me every second of everyday. You’re making me feel trapped! You make me feel like I’m drowning. You have no idea how I feel…you have no idea how hard it is to get up in the morning. Eating is the least of my troubles. I’m dying here. Dying. And I can’t do anything about it. I made myself this way and I can’t fix it.”

“Yugi, it’s not your fault,” Tristan asserted, slipping out of character.

“I chose to be a slut. I chose to go to an apartment of a guy I didn’t know.”

“Malik chose to rape you. Malik chose to hurt you.”

“I wanted it…I did.”

“You told him no. He was supposed to listen to you. He didn’t. He’s guilty of committing a wrong. He’s a cowardly bastard, and he had no right to hurt you, Yugi. None.”

Yugi got off the bed and starting walking over to the window. “He made me tell him to take me harder. He made me ask for it. No, it wasn’t even asking…he wanted me to beg him.”

“What he did to you is reprehensible. And you continue to let him hurt you every time you think what he did was deserved or asked for.”

“I lied to you, Tristan. I looked in the mirror today. I kept saying how it wasn’t my fault. I must have said it fifty or sixty times, I started chanting it in the mirror, over and over. And I…I couldn’t convince myself. It hurts so much.” Yugi turned to look at him, a few tears running down his cheeks. “I wish I had killed myself that afternoon. I can’t go on anymore, I can’t deal with the pain…”

“Then see help. Please, Yugi. Please. You don’t have to hurt anymore.”

“Can you call that lady you told me about tomorrow? Would you make an appointment for me?”

“Yes.” Tristan walked over to Yugi and gave him a tight hug. “I’m not giving up on you, Yugi. I promise. I won’t go anywhere.”

“Will you talk to Joey?”

“I’ll talk to him tonight.” Yugi let Tristan go and looked at him for a moment.

“I hate this, so much.”

“I know.” Yugi looked a little better as he walked over to his closet and pulled out his bathrobe.

“I’m going to take a shower.”

“Okay. I’m going to go take out the trash and do the dishes.” Tristan gave Yugi a little privacy and went into the kitchen to complete the tasks.

He was just gathering up the garbage when the phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID.

“Hi, Bakura.”


-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-


“How’s, Yugi?” Joey asked as Tristan slipped into the bed.

“Fast asleep, Baby.” Yugi had asked the brunet to stay with him, so he could sleep. Tristan had a long talk with Joey when he returned, Joey taking in what Tristan was saying. This entire situation felt surreal. How was it that Yugi had managed to take up so much of their time. Joey didn’t mind, he just found it interesting that Yugi was on the forethoughts of both his and Tristan’s minds.

Joey had little time to worry about himself, let alone Tristan. Tristan was being neglected, but he didn’t once complain, or say anything about it. Tristan had been a complete angel to both of them, and Joey could only shudder at the thought that this could have happened and Tristan wouldn’t be there for them.

“Thank you for taking out the trash and cleaning up.”

“Of course, Baby.” Tristan spooned up behind Joey, thankful for the contract. He missed holding him, missed their intimacy. Joey and him had barely done anything but kiss in two weeks, but Yugi was more important than his sex life. Still, he couldn’t help be annoyed by it. It wasn’t Yugi’s fault that he was going through all this, but it was frustrating. “Do you want waffles for breakfast?”

“You shouldn’t cook breakfast, Tris. I can do it.”

“Baby, it’s fine. I have to get up early for work anyway.”

“Only if you don’t mind.”

“I wouldn’t have said anything if I didn’t want to do it, Baby.” Tristan took in the scent of Joey’s hair; it always smelt so good after he washed it. He kissed Joey’s neck softly. He had already decided he wouldn’t push any sexual intimacy until Joey was ready. Yugi’s rape had a profound impact on Joey, he had been thinking about what had happened between him and Kaiba. And Joey’s main concern right now was Yugi. If Yugi called him Joey came running.

This experience gave Tristan an interesting perspective on Joey and Yugi’s relationship. There were many nights Tristan stayed over and Yugi came knocking on the door, awoken from his sleep from a nightmare. Joey immediately sprang into action, making Yugi warm milk and holding him, kissing his wrist until Yugi fell back asleep in his arms. The whole time Joey kissed Yugi’s hair and told Yugi how much he loved him, how much he meant to him. How special he was.

It did wonders for Yugi to have Joey care for him like that. And when that happened they were the only people in the whole world. Tristan hated feeling jealous over the relationship. He hated knowing that Joey would die for Yugi, that he’d do anything for him. Joey and him would never be as close as Joey and Yugi were, and it hurt. One night Yugi and Joey’s hugging drove him out of the bed and into Yugi’s room where he spent the night. It wasn’t a sexual thing, he knew that.

It was just that no one had ever loved him like that. No one had ever felt about him so strongly before. He had done a good job pushing away anyone that wanted to get close. He had run away from love time after time. It was horrible to resent Yugi. It was horrible to feel envious. Yugi had been through so much pain in his life, how could he be jealous because Joey held him and fussed over him?

Tristan didn’t know what to do anymore. It was hard being so strong. He had put himself in that role. He had let Joey and Yugi use him as a shoulder to cry on. He had surrendered his own feelings and needs for the greater good. He wanted Yugi to get better, he wanted Yugi to find normalcy and peace. He wanted to make love to Joey again. This was taking its toll on him.

He found himself going to the gym after work and then heading over to the apartment. Joey and Yugi wanted him there, they needed him there. Many nights he ended up cooking dinner while Joey was at work or class. He kept the house clean, he organized all their bills and used Joey’s checks to pay them. Meanwhile he still had his own classes, he had work, he had his own bills to maintain. He was running himself ragged, but he wouldn’t walk away. He couldn’t.

Joey and Yugi were very appreciative, and they said so often. It wasn’t that he felt used. It was the opposite. He had never felt needed before. He had never been in a position like this one. Somehow tonight, everything seemed worth it. It was right before Yugi had finally fallen asleep. Yugi had told Tristan more about what happened that afternoon two weeks ago. Things he hadn’t even told Joey. Tristan listened, he knew Yugi just needed to get it out, more than get feedback.

After Yugi let it all out he felt better, curling up and getting closer to nodding off. And right before he had Yugi had said three little words to Tristan that changed his entire world. Yugi had said he loved him. Tristan had been so overwhelmed he didn’t know how to respond. He stammered an “I love you too”. Yugi loving him meant a lot. None of his friends in the past had ever said that to him. And he had long since given up on having close friends, bitterly remembering how that had ended.

But these last two weeks Yugi had gone from practically hating him, to caring about him. Loving him. Yugi’s eyes usually lit up when Tristan returned, thankful he was there. The same way Joey’s did. Of course Yugi’s love for him wasn’t the same as the love Yugi felt for Joey. It never could be. But it was nice to know he had gained a friend through all of this. He had meant everything he had said to Yugi. Wholeheartedly. Yugi reminded him so much of himself, he could see himself in Yugi’s eyes sometimes. They had a similar experience, a similar view of love.

Tristan could only hope he was doing the right thing. This could backfire and all the progress he had made with Yugi would be for nothing. He didn’t know what gave him the idea this was going to work. But he had been making progress with Yugi, he had actually been surprised Yugi was receptive to going to see the counselor. Yugi had been running from his problems all his life. That was still a long way from what Tristan wanted to happen.

He was never good at playing matchmaker.


-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-


“Yugi, I’ll call her as soon as I get into the office. Wednesday good for you?” Tristan asked, putting the milk back in the refrigerator.

Yugi nodded. “Yeah, it’s fine. Thank you.”

“Are you going to come back after work?” Joey asked, bringing his and Yugi’s plates to the sink.

“I have to stop at the condo and check my mail. I also wanted to stop at the gym. I’ll be over around nine,” Tristan answered putting on his shoes.

“I have work tonight anyway. And Yugi has class.” Joey explained. “I was going to pick Yugi up from class and we were going to get something to eat on the way back.”

“In that case I’ll just pick up a pizza and meet you guys back here at nine-ish, that good, Baby?”

“Okay.” Tristan smiled and gave Joey a kiss. “Bye, Tristan. See you tonight.”

“Um hum.” Tristan leaned over and gave Yugi a little kiss on the cheek. “Bye guys.”

“Bye, Tristan,” Yugi returned.

“Bye, Tris. Thanks for breakfast. Love you,” Joey added.

“Love you too.” Tristan left.

He stopped off at the dry cleaner to drop off two suits and then headed into the business district. He had reading he had to do, and he needed to call his mother before she had a fit. He had mentioned Joey’s best friend had been raped and she had been upset, wondering how things were, wanting constant updates, wondering if there was anything she could do.

There was still so much Tristan wanted to do. As soon as Yugi was getting better Tristan knew Joey and him would have to deal with Malik. He wasn’t sure exactly what that consisted of. Last night when Yugi told him graphic details he could feel himself wanting to kill Malik. The same way Joey did. But he had promised Yugi he wouldn’t allow that to happen. He’d just have to figure out something else.

He had to deal with one thing at a time. That’s all he could do. Work went quickly. He made an appointment for Yugi for Wednesday afternoon, told his immediate boss he needed to leave early on that day that way he could take Yugi over there. On the way to the gym he picked up Joey’s allergy medicine prescription and dropped off mail at the post office.

He was on the treadmill when he remembered that Joey and Yugi were out of milk. He made a mental note to pick up some for them. Maybe he’d call Joey when he was finished and ask him if there was anything else they needed. This was supposed to be his time to not think about the million and a half things he had to worry about. And here he was working up both a physical and mental sweat.

The tap on his shoulder stopped him from beating himself up over overdoing it. Had it been twenty minutes already? Tristan looked over his shoulder to be greeted by stone cold blue eyes. Kaiba?

Tristan took off his headphones and lowered the speed on the machine to a slow walk and looked at his boss. “Hi, Tristan, nice to see you. I just wanted to say that you’re doing a wonderful job on the Peterson project.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“How’s Joey?”

“Busy with work and school. You know how that goes.” Seto nodded.

“Yami’s been trying to call Yugi, but he said something about thinking his cell phone number changed.”

“Yeah, he got a new number. I can give it to you before I leave.” Seto nodded and smiled.

“Yami would appreciate it.”

“Yugi’s been under a lot of stress lately, I’m sure once he’s gotten things together he’ll be more sociable to your fiancé.”

“Yami worries over the silliest little things. That’s part of the reason I work out here instead of at home. Sometimes it’s nice to have time for myself, you know?” Tristan nodded. And here I thought you came here to pick up gym bunnies. Did Seto have any idea that Tristan knew what he had done to Joey? It was hard enough to be respectful to his boss before he had met Joey.

“Looks like you only have six minutes left, when you’re done would you like to spot me?” No, I wouldn’t you asshole. Tristan checked his watch.

“Only for about fifteen minutes, I have to meet someone.”

“Oh, you have a date with Joey?”

“No, I’m meeting Bakura for drinks.”

“Oh, Yugi’s man friend.”

“Man friend?”

“Yugi has so many men it’s hard to keep track. They all get mixed up in my head after a while.” Tristan bit the inside of his cheek to keep from saying anything else. He could really see why both Yugi and Joey disliked him so much. Seto Kaiba didn’t even have to try to be a bastard, he did it naturally. “I’ll be over at the bench presses, I’ll meet you there, alright?”

“Sure.”

Tristan didn’t know what to make of Seto Kaiba. He had once tried to hit on him, and that hadn’t panned out. He didn’t know if Seto continued to talk to him because he didn’t realize that Tristan disliked him or if he was just trying to be polite. It didn’t help matters that he was his boss. Well, his boss’s boss. It seemed almost inappropriate that he would have dealings with Seto outside of the Kaiba Corp building.

He wondered if giving Seto Yugi’s cell number to give to Yami was the right thing to do. Yamiame ame hadn’t come up in two weeks. Would Yugi tell him what had happened to him? Tristan had no idea how Yami had reacted to Yugi’s suicide attempt. Who knew what he’d think of this. He didn’t want Yugi to tell him. If he did Yami would tell Seto. And Seto was the last person that needed to know.

When he got over to wear Seto was he was smiling at a red head. Tristan cleared his throat and the taller brunet turned and looked at him. “Six minutes already, Tristan?”

“Yep.”

“I’ll see you later, Alex.” The red head nodded, a faint blush on his cheeks as he dashed off. How could Yami not know what was going on? Rumors flew around like dust in this town. Especially at places like the gym and the supermarket. “Yami’s planning another intimate dinner party in December. He wanted me to mention it to you.”

“December?”

“Yeah. Yugi and whatever guy he’s fooling around with are invited too, of course.” Tristan helped Seto take the weights off the holder, tempted to let them roll right onto the CEO’s neck.

“Yugi’s not really dating any of those guys anymore. I think he’s ready to settle down now.”

Seto lifted the bar with a grunt. “Really, from what I’ve heard lately he was picking up some guy at the Pyramid.” Tristan narrowed his eyes.

“Well, you can’t always listen to rumors, can you? Some person on the other side of the gym who saw you talking to that guy a couple of minutes ago could draw the wrong conclusion about you, think you’re trying to be with him. Think you’re cheating on Yami. Right?” Tristan and Seto locked eyes. “So who else is Yami planning on inviting to his dinner party?”

“Not sure, Yami’s insatiable. He just loves throwing parties. He said he didn’t want a birthday party, but he was so excited that night. You saw him. I’m not as social as he is, but I have to admit I enjoyed myself. I never dance, and…well, you saw me.” Their eyes locked again. Seto offered him a challenging smirk.

If only he had known what Seto had done to Joey before Tristan insist his baby dance with him.

Tristan decided against saying anything else. Seto was provoking him, and if this conversation continued Tristan was probably going to end up being escorted out of the gym in handcuffs.

He hadn’t wanted to be riled up when he met Bakura at the Pyramid. But he couldn’t help that now. He still had to go pick up groceries and pizza before he headed back to Joey’s. He wasn’t sure what seeing Bakura was going to do. The bouncer was getting restless and he knew he wouldn’t appreciate being told that he couldn’t be told anything.

It wasn’t Tristan’s place to tell Bakura what had happened to Yugi. He wouldn’t betray Yugi’s hard earned trust. Not even to Bakura. He was only meeting him to access if what he thought was a good idea would work. After Yugi’s counseling session Wednesday Tristan was going to take him out to celebrate his strength. And if Bakura just happened to show up at the same buffet that Yugi was going to be at…

Of course he would only tell Bakura where he was taking Yugi if Bakura proved to him tonight that he was sincere. He believed that Bakura loved Yugi and his intentions were honorable. But he wasn’t sure how he’d react to the news that the fun, flirty sexy Yugi was gone now, replaced by a melancholy, heartbroken substitute. Did Bakura still feel the same way, did he still not want a needy clingy boyfriend?

That’s what Tristan had to figure out tonight.


-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Tristan had expected Bakura to be angry and calculating, but he was neither. He was frustrated but responsive. It seemed to the brunet that things would go fine, until Joey said he had switched with someone because they had a funeral to go to and he was going to be done with work early.

He had never anticipated Joey coming with them to the buffet. But he couldn’t very well tell his boyfriend not to come. All he could hope was that Joey and Bakura didn’t wind up in the back of a squad car.

“How was the session, Yug?” Joey asked, after the waitress took their drink orders.

“Really good, she was really nice, Joey. I thought she’d ask me a bunch of questions but she didn’t really. She let me talk about anything I wanto. to. It’s like Tristan said, she’s not judgmental or demanding. She’s like a good friend. She suggested I keep a journal, write down every time I feel something negative about myself. Then she wants me to write down why I might be feeling that way, and work it through until I don’t feel that way. I tried it this afternoon. I was feeling ashamed about what happened and I worked it on paper and it took three pages but I was able to deal with it. It’s like Tristan said, sometimes it helps to see things on paper. Like that trick he taught me to look up words in the dictionary.”

“So when are you going to see her again?” Joey wondered.

“Next Wednesday. For right now I’m just going to go once a week, but in a couple of weeks she wants to see how I’m feeling and thinks I should go to a group sessions and listen to other people, she says that even if I don’t speak I can identify with how they’re feeling, I don’t have to feel like I’m the only one. Plus she said there are three guys in the group, so I won’t feel out of place. And she recommended I read a couple of books too.”

“Sounds to me like we really have something to celebrate then, huh?” Joey asked with a smile.

“I don’t feel completely helpless anymore. I know it’s going to take a while to feel normal again. I know I’ll never really be the same, but I can deal with the long-term effects.”

“And that’s the most important thing, Yugi,” Tristan said with a soft smile.

“Come on, let’s get some food, I’m half starved.” Joey got up. Yugi and Tristan followed suit. Neither Joey or Yugi noticed the tenseness in Tristan’s features. This was a mistake. He shouldn’t have told Bakura they were going to be here. There was no way to know how Yugi would react. And he knew exactly how Joey was going to react. Bakura had a right to an explanation. If Yugi never wanted to see him again that was his right, but Bakura deserved piece of mind. He couldn’t imagine what Bakura had to be thinking these last two weeks without any contact from Yugi.

But was it right for Tristan to arrange this chance meeting? Maybe he could run into the bathroom and tell Bakura this was a bad idea. Maybe they could arrange another day for this to…

Tristan jumped at the sound of a plate slamming onto the floor and shattering. Yugi stood trembling, Bakura obviously coming up behind him and spooking him. Tristan and Joey had gotten use to being mindful of sneaking up on Yugi, but there would be no way for Bakura to know that. This was already starting off bad.

“Babyface, it’s just me…I didn’t mean to scare you…I just…I had to see you…”

“Kura…” Bakura reached to put his arm on Yugi’s shoulder and Yugi flinched, stepping back, knocking over a basket of rolls.

Joey got to Yugi before Tristan could, who couldn’t get over to the other side of the restaurant because by now a little crowd was forming where Yugi and Bakura were standing. “Yugi, what is it, are you okay? Yugi…” Joey looked and his eyes immediately turned so dark they were nearly copper. “Oh hells no. What the fuck are you doing here!”

“Save it, Blondie, I’m not here to talk to you.” Joey stepped in front of Yugi as Tristan scrambled to get to the other side of the salad bar. “Move aside or I’ll move you myself.”

“What are you stalking him, is that it? I told you you’re not to see him again, Bakura. If you don’t leave right now I’ll have the managers call the cops.”

“I’m not going to tell you again.” Bakura’s eyes were so dark they were black, he looked ready to kill. “Mind your goddamn business.”

“Joey, please…stop it…” Yugi begged, tears already threatening to fall.

“Go back to the table, Yugi, I’ve got this under control.”

“There a problem here, Gentlemen?” a manager asked.

“Call the police, this guy is harassing my friend.”

“I’m finished fucking around with you, Joey!” Bakura took a swing, Joey ducking. Yugi screamed as Joey grabbed Bakura and they went tumbling into a waiter, food flying everywhere.

“STOP IT! JOEY, BAKURA, STOP IT…PLEASE!!!!!”

Yugi could only watch in horror as the two men rolled on top of each other until they hit the metal holder that held the plates for the buffet line. They collided with it with such force plates flew out, crashing onto the floor and breaking.

Tristan grabbed Joey and pulled him away from the white-headed bouncer, his boyfriend kicking and screaming the entire way. “You piece of shit…let me go, Tristan…let me fucking go.”

“Andrew call the police!” the manager insisted.

“Wait, please…don’t. We’ll leave. I’ll pay for any damage. Please.” Tristan grabbed Joey firmly and moved him so he was forced behind him. “Things just got out of control. Please, don’t call the police, I’ll pay for everything in cash.”

“Andrew, call the police. I want them out of this restaurant right now!”

“I’ll take them out. They won’t come back here again, I promise. I’ll pay double what the damage is. Please.”

“This is a family restaurant…”

“I understand that. Things just got a little out of hand.”

“A little out of hand? Look at this mess!” The manger looked at Andrew again. “Andrew, call the…”

“Triple. I’ll pay triple what the damage is.” The manager looked at Tristan for a long time. “What I don’t have in cash you can charge to my debit card. Please. Neither of them are like this normally. There was a misunderstanding and things went too far. Let’s not waste everyone’s time getting the authorities involved.”

The manager looked at Tristan with a big sigh. “Fine. But if either of them come back in here again I’m having them arrested on sight.”

“I understand. They are both very sorry about this.” Tristan looked back at Joey, he had blood on him, Tristan wondered if it was his or Bakura’s. He couldn’t trust them together, he knew if given another chance they’d continue this in the parking lot.

“Andrew, go draw up a bill, please.”

“Thank you, Sir. I am sorry about this. Truly.” Tristan shot Bakura a hard glance. “Bakura, can you wait for us outside please. Yugi, why don’t you go to the car?”

Yugi nodded, still crying. He didn’t look at Bakura or Joey as he walked out of the restaurant. Joey stood next to Tristan as Tristan made arrangements with the manger and Andrew. He couldn’t believe how much Tristan was paying for Bakura and his altercation to keep them out of jail.

How could he do such a thing in a public place? He deserved to go to jail, they both did. Waiters and bust boys were frantically cleaning up the mess they had made. He hadn’t been himself just then, all he had seen was blind rage. He had flipped, his need to protect Yugi had superseded his rational thoughts.

Tristan was probably furious with him now.

“Come on, Baby, let’s go,” Tristan said simply, putting his wallet back in his pocket. Joey gave Tristan a look.

“Tristan...I’m…”

“I’m not upset with you, Joey.” Tristan gave Joey his hand and they headed outside. Joey didn’t believe it, but he was thankful he lied to him anyway. Tristan wasn’t upset at Joey or Bakura, he didn’t think things would get that violent, but he had caused this by suggesting Bakura run into them at the restaurant in the first place.

Yugi was standing sniffling, Bakura standing about ten feet away from him. “Are you alright, Yugi?” Tristan asked, softly. Yugi walked over to Tristan and held him tightly, still shaking. He was truly frightened by the entire incident. Tristan cast glances at both Bakura and Yugi. “Shush, it’s alright now. It’s over.”

“I don’t want them to go to jail…” Yugi sniffled.

“No one’s going to jail. It’s taken care of, I took care of it, Yugi.” Tristan looked at both Bakura and Joey. “Both of you should think about the consequences of your actions for the future.”

“Yugi, I’m really sorry…I didn’t mean to upset you, I was only trying to protect you,” Joey started. He rubbed Yugi’s back.

“Joey, I told Bakura he could come back to the apartment to pick up his things. I don’t want you saying anything nasty to him.” Joey gave Bakura a disgusted look but said nothing. “I just want to go home.”

“Okay. Bakura, we’ll meet you there,” Tristan said firmly. He didn’t appreciate the bouncer taking a swing at his boyfriend, but he would deal with that later.

The ride back to the apartment was silent. It felt almost like a death march. When they got back Yugi broke the silence and said simply, “Joey, I want to talk to you in my bedroom.”

Joey unlocked the door and the four stepped inside. Joey and Yugi walked into the bedroom, Yugi closing the door. That of course left Tristan and Bakura alone.

Tristan walked into the kitchen, after slipping off his shoes. He pulled out two beers and handed one to Bakura. Bakura sat at a stool at the counter, Tristan sitting on the opposite side. Bakura said nothing, waiting for Tristan to start first. He was sure the brunet had plenty to say.

Tristan took a lazy sip and looked at Bakura for a long time. “Not exactly how I pictured things would go today, Bakura. Especially not the part when you tried to deck my boyfriend.”

“You told me Joey wouldn’t be there.”

“He was supposed to be working. He wound up switching days with someone who had a funeral. In either case, that little display at the buffet didn’t do anything to improve things between you and Yugi.”

“Enough shit, Tristan. What the hell is going on? How am I supposed to be able to improhinghings with Yugi if I’m being kept in the dark? Do you have any idea how I’ve been feeling for the last two weeks, wondering what the hell is going on. Please, I’m asking you as a friend. Just tell me what it is.”

Tristan looked at Bakura and lowered his head. “I can’t. Yugi’s dealing with a lot of issues right now, trust being one of them. If I told you I’d be spitting in his face.” Bakura sighed, taking another sip of the alcohol. He knew once Yugi came out of his bedroom he was going to have to gather his stuff and leave. And things had gotten so bad with Joey now there would be no way Joey wouldn’t take whatever steps necessary to insure Bakura had nothing else to do with his roommate.

Bakura swallowed the golden colored liquor in another large gulp and looked at Tristan for a long time. “This must be something if you won’t tell me what it is, Tristan.”

“Don’t you think I want things to work out for you two? I’m on your side, Bakura. I’ve told Yugi to call you a hundred times. He’s afraid. He can’t. He can’t stand to be rejected by you.”

“I wouldn’t reject him…fuc a…h a…hasn’t my constant pursuit proved that?”

“It’s not that simple anymore, Bakura.”

“Why isn’t it simply? What’s changed?” Tristan looked away. “Fuck…I can’t do this blind…give me something.” Tristan didn’t look at him. Bakura was silent for a moment, running over his thoughts. He had to look at this decisively. He had to approach this decisively.

He thought about Joey’s extreme protection of Yugi these past two weeks and at the buffet. There was no way Joey would have won a fight with him, but that hadn’t stopped him. Yugi’s reaction to him had been disturbing; he had been physically unnerved at seeing him again. And of course there was the most curious piece of all. Tristan and Yugi, who had grown quite close in a short period of time, especially since Yugi had just slept with Tristan’s ex-boyfriend. Did this all add up to what he was thinking…

“Someone hurt him, didn’t they?” Tristan was a bit startled at Bakura’s words, they had been silent for so long he almost jumped at the sound of his voice. “Just tell me, Tristan. Yes or no?”

“Yes.” Bakura’s eyes darkened.

“Is it as bad as I think it is?” Bakura wondered, gripping the neck of the beer bottle firmly.

Tristan took a swig of his drink and gave Bakura a look. “How bad do you think it is?”

“He was raped, wasn’t he?” Tristan said nothing, but his eyes told it all. The whole story unraveled, everything fell perfectly into place. Bakura couldn’t stop himself as he threw the beer bottle into the sink, the neck breaking off, beer gushing out and sloshing around the metal sink and onto the countertops. “Fuck…fuck..fuck…fuck…”

“Bakura, please…calm down.”

“Calm down? Calm down? How do you expect me to calm down!” Bakura was on his feet, his hands clenching and unclenching. He needed to hit something, anything.

Tristan put down his beer and stood up, watching in fear as Bakura walked about like a caged tiger. “Bakura, I know how you feel…I know how angry you are…but right now Yugi needs you. You need to put your rage on hold and be there for him.”

“Who was it? Did he tell you?”

“It doesn’t matter who it was. Sit back down.” Bakura met concerned hazel eyes. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter…I want to know who it was to save me the trouble of going door to door tracking the son-of-a-bitch down.”

“Bakura, I’m not going to tell you again. Sit down or I’m going to ask you to leave.” Bakura looked at Tristan for a moment but remained standing, his hands relaxing for a minute. “You saw how he reacted to you in the restaurant. Do you want him to be afraid of you?”

“I would never hurt him, he knows that.”

“He’s dealing with trust issues, Bakura. You acting like a lunatic isn’t helping him trust you. Yugi’s rapist will be dealt with, later. Right now I want you to sit down and calm down. If Yugi comes out here and you scare him again then you’re going to be getting nowhere.”

The bedroom door opened, both Tristan and Bakura holding their breath. “Is everything alright now, Baby?” Tristan asked. Joey nodded, and then shot a glance at Bakura but he said nothing.

“You can get your things now, Kura,” Yugi said softly, not looking at him.

“Babyface, listen. I want to apologize for making a scene back at the restaurant. I lost control of myself. I’m sorry I scared you.” Yugi didn’t say anything, or look up. “I know things ended badly for us, but I didn’t mean to hurt you. Or leave you. I still feel now what I felt then. You’re very important to me, Babyface. I just wanted to see you one last time. I couldn’t handle the thought of us really being over.”

Yugi shifted back and forth on his feet. “Didn’t Tristan tell you…you don’t have to pretend, Bakura. I know how you must feel.”

“Tristan told me nothing. I’ve begged him for two weeks to give me a heads up. But he refused. He said he wouldn’t betray your trust.”

Yugil looked at Tristan who nodded. “I didn’t tell him, Yugi. It wasn’t my place.”

“Do you think I should?” Yugi wondered, looking at Tristan for a moment longer.

“I think he deserves an explanation for you not being able to see him anymore. It’s not fair that he’s been left wondering what’s going on for two weeks. He’s worried about you, Yugi.”

Yugi looked at Bakura for a second, the first time he met his eyes, the first time he had really seen Bakura in two weeks. “I was…I was raped, Kura.”

It didn’t matter that Bakura already knew…the full impact of Yugi’s words hit him hard, his babyface looked so helpless…so desperate, so utterly alone. Yugi looked down, the tears starting anew.

“Babyface,” Bakura whispered. “Babyface…I’m…oh Babyface…” Bakura tried to approach but Yugi took a step back. He swallowed and clenched and unclenched his fist a couple of times to calm himself down a little. “Babyface, I’m sorry…I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”

“It was my own fault, Kura…I…” Yugi sobbed, and wiped away some tears.

“It wasn’t your fault, Yugi. Don’t think that for a moment.”

“You don’t even know what happened, Kura…”

“It doesn’t matter what happened. It wasn’t your fault. No one had any right to put his hands on you. Period.” Yugi sobbed harder. Joey looked at Tristan but Tristan took Joey’s hand and squeezed it. Yugi had to do this on his own. “Babyface, I should have been there…I should have been there to watch out for you.”

“I…went over to someone’s apartment to…to cheat on you…to have sex with someone else…”

“That doesn’t matter. None of that changes how I feel, Babyface. I don’t care about any of that. I still love you.”

Yugi looked up through tear-blurred eyes. “You love me, Kura?”

“With all my heart, with everything I am. Yugi, please. Babyface, don’t push me away. If it’s too painful, if it hurts too much to let me back in, I understand. I’ll walk away. But nothing will ever change how I feel about you.”

Yugi cried a little harder. “What do you want from me…Kura? What could you possibly want from me now…I’m not a sex toy anymore…I’m clingy and needy…I can’t go a day without crying…I…how could you want anything…anything to do with me?”

“I want to hold you and love you and kiss all those tears away. I want to help you heal. I want to be there for you. I want to be there for the day you’re alright again.”

“What if I’m never alright again?”

“You will be. You’re too strong not to be.”

Yugi continued to sob. “Kura…it can’t…I can’t…I’m tainted now…I’m damaged…”

“I’m in love with you, Babyface. Every tear you cry kills another piece of me. My heart aches watching you in so much pain.”

“Kura…don’t toy with me…don’t lie to me…”

“I’m not…I love you.”

“Don’t lie…”

“I love you.” Yugi looked at him and sobbed harder. Bakura took a careful step closer. “I love you, Yugi.” Another step. “You’ll always be my babyface.” Another step. “No matter what happened I will always stand by your side, I will always be there to help you.” Another step. “I love you more than anything. Let me show you, please.” A final step and Bakura was standing in front of him. “I love you, Yugi.”

“Kura…” Yugi grabbed him, Bakura holding him as tight as he could. “Kura…please…I…I love you…”

“I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere…you understand…I love you…and I’m going to be here and I’m going to take care of you….” Bakura couldn’t hold back anymore, he could feel a few tears stinging his eyes. He hadn’t cried since he was eight years old. “Yugi, I love you so much, so much…” Bakura smothered Yugi’s head with desperate little kisses.

Yugi clung to him and continued crying. Bakura picked him up effortlessly and carried him to the easy chair, sitting down first and letting Yugi curl up to him in his lap. “It’s okay now, Babyface. I’m here now. It’s okay…”

Yugi clung to him desperately, rocking, refusing to let go. “I love you, Kura. I do. I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I told you I’d always protect you, and I didn’t. I’m sorry I didn’t come see you sooner. I’m sorry I pushed you away.” Bakura kissed the top of Yugi’s head again. “I’m never ever going to leave you again, ever. I love you so damn much, so much…”

Yugi had stopped crying, now he was snuggled up to Bakura, holding him, being comforted by his presence. Bakura held onto Yugi hard, forgetting Tristan and Joey were still standing by watching the whole exchange.

Both of them had stood in stunned silence, watching the entire scene play out. It had to be the most heartwarming thing either of them had ever witnessed, Yugi being comforted by Bakura’s gentle embrace. Bakura stroking Yugi’s shoulders to soothe him, whispering softly to him, Yugi sitting in his lap, contented.

“I’ve been really stupid about this,” Joey thought out loud, startling everyone.

Bakura and Joey met eyes. Joey walked over to Bakura and placed a hand on his shoulder. “For what it’s worth, Bakura, I was wrong. And I’m sorry.”

Bakura gave Joey a look. “You were only trying to protect him, I can’t be angry with you for that.” Yugi smiled up at Joey and shifted on Bakura’s lap, giving him a kiss.

“Why don’t I order in some dinner, I’m sure we’re all hungry,” Tristan offered, relief washing over him.

“I could eat,” Yugi said softly, still doodling on Bakura’s shirt. “Bakura, will you stay with me tonight? Joey or Tristan have been staying in my room until I fall asleep.”

“I’d want nothing more, Babyface.”


-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-


“Yugi, still in the shower?” Joey asked, sitting on the couch. Bakura nodded. The white-haired man was now showered off and wearing his sweat pants and Joey’s t-shirt. He found it amusing he had left a pair of sweats at the apartment but had no t-shirt.

Tristan was washing dishes in the kitchen. Which was good, because Bakura and Joey needed to talk.

“Who was it, who hurt him?” Bakura asked, looking at Joey fiercely.

“I have no guarantee you won’t kill him once I tell you.”

“He deserves death.”

“Yugi doesn’t want that on his hands. He doesn’t want someone to take that kind of vengeance. I would have taken care of him myself if I hadn’t promised Yugi I wouldn’t kill him.”

“So, what am I supposed to do?”

“Tristan wants to give it two more weeks. Catch the person unaware, and do whatever is necessary. I don’t want Yugi running into him on the streets some place. Whatever actions are taken he needs to be out of town.”

“So that’s the big revenge, run him out of town? I’m not going for some scout badge here, Blondie, I won’t be satisfied with that.” Joey narrowed his eyes.

“You kill him and Yugi won’t forgive you. You might be the murderer, but Yugi’s going to feel like he did it. This is what he wants. If it were up to me he’ddumpdumped in Domino Bay right now. But it’s Yugi’s choice. Yugi wasn’t given a choice when he was raped. We can’t keep taking his choices away from him. I lost sight of that before. But I don’t want to do that to him anymore.”

“When are you going to tell me who it was?”

“When you’re calm. You’re still angry.” Bakura conceded. He was still angry. He had every right to be angry. “Tonight, when you’re sleeping in his bed… Yugi’s been having nightmares, he’s been waking up in tears. Just be aware of that.”

“I will.”

“He’s still in a fragile state right now. Don’t push him too much.”

“For gods sakes, Joey, I’m not an idiot. I’m not going to force myself onto him. I’ve dealt with this before, I had a friend who was raped.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I did.” Bakura looked at Joey for a moment. “Actually, I have a book I read that you should read. Helped me put a lot of things into perspective for me.”

“How long ago was this?”

“I was still in high school, so it was a while ago.”

“Did you kill the rapist?” Bakura gave Joey a look.

“Do you really want to know who I’ve killed, Joey?” Joey shivered. No, he didn’t want to know.

“Kura?” Yugi came out the bathroom in sweat pants and a t-shirt. He padded out, looking down right adorable, wearing bunny sleepers. His hair was soft, he had just washed and blow-dried it. “Oh, there you are, Kura.”

“Have a good shower, Babyface?”

“Yes. Ready to go to bed now?”

“Sure.” Bakura stood up. Yugi walked over to Joey and gave him a kiss.

“I love you, Babe.” Joey smiled, Yugi hadn’t called him Babe in two weeks.

“I love you too, Yug.” Yugi headed into the kitchen, Tristan was just finishing up, wiping his hands on the dishtowel.

“Night, Tristan. Love you.”

“Love you too.” Tristan gave Yugi a little kiss. “Sleep well, pleasant dreams.” Bakura scooped Yugi up Yugi smiling as Bakura gave him a small kiss on the lips.

“Night guys,” Bakura called, Yugi wrapping his arms around Bakura’s neck.

“Night, Bakura,” Tristan and Joey returned in unison. Tristan shut off the kitchen light and sat down next to his boyfriend on the couch.

“He’s really going to be okay, isn’t he?” Joey wondered, allowing Tristan to wrap his arms around.
.

“He’s going to be fine. Bakura’s already boosted his spirits. Yugi’s already doing better.”

“You’re right, he is.”

“He’s going to heal from this. It won’t take over night, but he has a strong network of support, and now that he’s getting therapy things can only improve for him.”

Joey looked at Tristan for a moment. “And what a wonderful coincidence that Bakura would happen to come to the same buffet restaurant we were at tonight. It’s almost as if Cupid himself dropped down and made it happen, don’t you think?”

“Are you implying something, Joey?” Tristan asked with an innocent look.

“Of all the restaurants in all of Domino he had to walk into ours.”

“Like you said, it was a wonderful coincidence.”

“Admit it, you wanted them to make up from the start.”

“Honestly, Baby, I haven’t the foggiest idea of what you’re talking about.”

“Bakura could have beat the shit out of me if given the chance, Tristan. Did you think of the consequences of your little scheme? I could be behind bars right now.”

“In mfensfense, it worked, didn’t it? Yugi and Bakura are reunited again.”

“We can never eat at that place again, Tris.”

“Speak for yourself. I can eat there, Yugi too. It’s you two ruffians that are now officially banned for life.”

Joey slapped him on the arm. “You know, I was thinking of how much of a saint you’ve been these past two weeks, but then I’m reminded that you’re really a jerk at heart.”

“A jerk, me? How could you say such a thing?”

“You are a jerk, and you know it.”

“Oh, Baby, speaking of jerk ran ran into Kaiba at the gym the other day. I forgot to tell you. He said something about Yami throwing a dinner party in December.”

“Did you tell him where Yami could stick his dinner party?”

“What was I supposed to say, Joey. He’s my boss.”

“You’re a jerk, you could have said something jerl-like.” Tristan gave Joey a look and tackled him into the couch pillows.

Author’s Endnotes: That’s all she wrote for this chapter. Don’t worry, things will be getting more interesting next chapt Now Now that Bakura’s back in the picture Joey doesn’t have to be quite so over protective, and the blond can finally show Tristan how appreciative he really is of all his kindness. Physically. Hehehe… And hopefully it won’t take three hundred years for me to update again. Because you’re all so wonderful:

“It’s not about that, Bakura. There’s something you need to know.”

“What, Babyface?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, but. There’s just no way we could ever…what I’m trying to tell you is, I don’t think I ever want to have sex again.”

“You only feel that way because of what happened. You just have to give it some time. It’s not the type of thing you can rush.”

“Kura, I know how I feel. I can’t…I can’t be with you that way again.”