Beauty

First Things First: Thanks everyone for the reviews. I really would be nowhere without them. I know, I’ve left you all with so many questions, who did Duke sleep with, was it really Varon? Will Tristan ever let Joey top him? What’s Tristan’s other fear. They’ll all be answered soon, but at the moment you’ll have to keep guessing. So, this is it… the chapter I’ve been dreading since I started this story. I warned you about this happening in chapter 1, and then again at the end of chapter 2, and, sigh, things take a turn for the worst for our characters. But like I said, there is a lovely happy ending, so just keep that in mind. We pick up almost exactly where we left off, it’s still Sunday night. This chapter’s a tearjerker, but be strong. Don’t be too afraid, I’m not into character death… so it’ll be okay. Sniff, okay…well, here we go.

Disclaimer: I don’t own it.


Song notes: Actually, this chapter I was listening to Beethoven. A few of his symphonies, some of his pastorals. I can’t remember which songs exactly. A lot of Fur Elise, and some Moonlight Sonata.


Chapter 14: Silence


Heaven holds a sense of wonder
And I wanted to believe
That I get caught up
When the rage in me subsides

And this white wave, I am sinking, in this silence
In this white wave, in this silence, I believe
I have seen you, in this white wave, you are silent
You are with me, in this white wave I am free

~Silence
Delirium feat. Sarah MacLaughlin



It wasn’t like he wanted to be at the Pyramid, he just had nowhere else to go. He had left Bakura’s. They had started fighting again. Bakura was furious that Yugi had been with three guys last week. He was also furious that one of them had been Brian, Tristan’s ex. Bakura made it clear that Yugi wasn’t trying, and that he was sick of being led on. Bakura yelled at him something awful, so Yugi left.

He didn’t know what he was going to do. He couldn’t go back to his apartment, he didn’t want to see Joey. He had never seen his best friend so upset, let alone with him. In all the years they had known each other Joey had always been laid back. But now, Yugi wasn’t sure what Joey would say or do to him.

He couldn’t keep running from his problems. But what was he supposed to do? Now that he was alone again. Bakura had taken him back the last time out of pity. But Bakura was finished this time. It was really over for them now. And Joey had Tristan.

There just wasn’t any room left for him.

“Well, if it isn’t Yugi.” Yugi glanced to his right, his corona still in his hand.

“Malik.”

“You never called me back, should I be offended?”

“Who the fuck cares.”

“So hostile. Something upsetting you?”

“You’re in my personal space.” Malik laughed. “What’s so funny?”

“You’re so sexy when you’re angry.”

“You still want me, after I rejected you?”

“Can you blame me for being persistent?” Yugi made a face. Blame him for being persistent? It was annoying, and pathetic. Could he really blame him though? “What are you doing right now, Yugi?”

“I should be going home, I have class tomorrow.”

“Come home with me.”

“Not quite drunk enough for that yet.” Malik smirked. Yugi left his money on the bar and stood up.

“Do you always come here on Sunday nights?”

“I needed to get some fresh air.”

“Fresh air? You’re inside a bar.”

“I like beer with my air.” Yugi headed towards the staircase. Malik was following him. “It’s just not going to happen, Malik. Not tonight. I’m going home.”

“How about tomorrow. You could come by after class.” Yugi narrowed his eyes. “Why not?”

“I don’t think you’re my type.”

“Oh, that’s right, you have Bakura.”

“I don’t…he’s got nothing to do with this.” Malik took Yugi’s hand. Yugi stopped walking and looked at him. “Yes?”

“I want to be with you, why are you so quick to turn me down?” Yugi sighed. “Come by tomorrow after class.”

“I don’t…I don’t know, Malik.”

“It’ll be fun. Here, I’ll write down my address.” Yugi stood and watched Malik grab a napkin off a nearby table and jot down where he lived. “Here, hope to see you tomorrow, Munchkin.” He slipped the napkin into Yugi’s hand and then gave him a kiss. Yugi didn’t care, and kissed him back. When the kiss ended Malik smiled and then headed back up the stairs.

Yugi looked at the napkin for a long time not sure what to do with it. It was weird that Malik would be at the bar on a Sunday night. Maybe it was fate they ran into each other. Yugi sighed and left, the napkin in hand. This was silly, he wasn’t going to go to Malik’s house tomorrow. He wasn’t interested in him. He was feeling pretty lonely though.

Yugi sighed and got into his car. He had only one and a half beers so he was fine to drive.

He walked into the apartment, relieved that Joey wasn’t in the living room. He didn’t look to be in the kitchen either. Yugi pulled off his clothes, slipped on his boxers and crawled in to bed. It wasn’t possible to feel any more melancholy than he did right now.

Thankfully, sleep came to him quickly.


-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-


It was the raindrops on his windowsill that woke him up. Yugi grumbled and looked at his alarm clock. He had to be up in ten minutes. It never failed, waking up a few moments before the alarm was set to go off. He pulled his body into a sitting position. He was exhausted. He wanted to skip class, but he had that stupid exam on Friday, so he had no choice but to go.

Yugi padded into the kitchen. He could hear the familiar sounds of the shower running as he passed by the bathroom door. He shivered, glancing at the spot on the wall Joey had thrown his glass at. All physical traces of their argument had been cleaned up. All that remained was Yugi’s shattered heart.

He wasn’t much in the mood to make anything to eat for breakfast. Yugi grabbed a chair from the table and stood on it so he could reach the cereal. Cereal would just have to do today. He put the chair back and sat on a stool at the counter, after retrieving the milk.

Nothing worse than a rainy Monday morning.

He was debating going to class like this, in sweats and a t-shirt. He just wanted to crawl back into bed and lay there the whole day. He’d sell his right arm for that chance. Damn classes, damn school, damn life.

Yugi had just flipped on the television to watch the morning news when he heard Joey’s bedroom door open. Had Joey finally gotten out of the shower? He could hear the blond’s footsteps, he was headed towards him. Yugi looked down into the cereal bowl, finding the floating Cheerios much more interesting. He couldn’t look into Joey’s eyes. Who knew what he’d find there.

Joey came into the kitchen and walked to the refrigerator. He said nothing to Yugi and pulled out orange juice and a glass. Yugi sighed softly, not loud enough for his roommate to hear. Joey was still in his sweat pants and t-shirt. Why hadn’t he gotten in the shower yet? He was holding him up. Yugi didn’t ask his silent questions…not sure how any interaction between him and his best friend would play out.

It was then that he heard the door to the bathroom open. If Joey was standing in the kitchen than who was in the shower?

Tristan.

Tristan walked into the kitchen. Yugi momentarily caught his gaze before looking back into his cereal bowl. He caught Joey handing Tristan the orange juice out of the corner of his eye.

“Morning, Baby, thank you.” Tristan took a sip from the glass and gave Joey a kiss on the cheek. “We’re still on for lunch right?”

“Yeah.” Tristan smiled, taking several swallows of his drink. “You better go, you don’t want to be late.”

“Nope.” Tristan finished the orange juice, handing Joey back the glass. “I’ll call you later, Baby.” Joey nodded. “I love you, Joey.”

“I love you too, Tris.” They kissed and Tristan headed for the door, Joey following after him. “See you later. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Joey shut the door and locked it and headed back to his bedroom. Yugi was just washing out his bowl when he heard Joey go into the shower. That meant that Joey was probably not going to wash Tristan’s glass. Yugi picked up the glass in question and rinsed it out under the hot water.

Yes, Joey had Tristan now. It was only a matter of time before Joey moved in with him. Even when, and if they made up from their latest argument, the clock was already ticking. And then he’d really be alone again.

Joey said nothing to Yugi, barely looking at him as they silently got ready for their days. Joey was going to work and class and to meet Tristan in between. Yugi was going to class, and perhaps to the library to study. He wasn’t sure at the moment. As long as he could stay out of the apartment as long as possible.


-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-


“Have you made up with Yugi yet, Baby?” Joey glanced at Tristan, and shook his head. “Don’t you think it’d be a good idea to talk to him?”

“No.”

“I’m not really mad about the Brian thing anymore, Baby.” They were sitting in a restaurant across from the Kaiba Corp building. “Don’t be mad at him for me.”

“I’m mad at him for me. He makes me so mad, Tristan. I can’t stand him anymore.”

“He’s your best friend, Joey. You’ve been close for so long, do you really want to give all that up?”

“It’s not me, Tris. It’s him. He’s the problem. He doesn’t care what he does anymore. Anytime I try to speak to him about him sleeping around, and going out all the time at all hours of the night he tells me it’s his life. To think I prostituted myself, offered myself up like some kind of sacrificial lamb to Kaiba for him. So he wouldn’t have to use anymore of his savings to pay the rent and all our other bills, so he wouldn’t have to go to his grandfather, and Yugi throws it in my face.”

“He didn’t know why you did it, Joey.”

“He’s supposed to be my best friend, why would he even mention it like that? When Kaiba told him what happened he should have asked me about it. Not hold on to the information like some conniving spy.”

“Joey, we could go around and around in circles, but I only get an hour lunch, so maybe we shouldn’t. You’re not going to solve your issues with Yugi here. If you don’t talk to him though, you only sit fuming. I’m sure Yugi feels bad, the look on his face this morning was p eno enough of that. He’ll probably be more receptive now. Try again, be patient, but firm. Tell him how concerned you are about what he’s doing. That you’re not trying to be his parent, but you feel obligated to tell him your concerns as his best friend.”

“You sound like a psych major, Tristan.”

“Hey, I have to use my degree for something.”

“I don’t know if itl wol work.”

“Why don’t you order in Yugi’s favorite, and sit down and start a dialogue. Let him do most of the talking, get a feel for what’s going on in his head. Maybe in just listening to him you’ll get some insight into what he’s doing. Try to avoid fighting with him, or scolding him. And tell him that you’ll be there for him, that you’ll support him and love him no matter what he’s been through.”

Joey looked at Tristan for a minute, taking in his advice. “I would have thought this spat between Yugi and I would have been the answer to your prayers, Tris.”

“Hum?”

“If Yugi and I aren’t friends anymore you don’t have to worry about your biggest competition.”

“It’s not a competition, Baby. For a moment, I admit to losing sight of that. But honestly, you’re a better person because he’s in your life. Since things have gone sour for the two of you I’ve noticed how distracted and irritable you are. It would be better for our relationship in the long run if you and Yugi were okay again. I can never take Yugi’s place in your heart. I’ve accepted that, Joey. But just because you’ll love him in a way you could never love me doesn’t mean your feelings for me aren’t as true, and deep and important.”

“That doesn’t bother you, that Yugi means so much to me?”

Tristan took Joey’s hands in his. “Joey, if you abandoned Yugi to be with me I’d have to question your character. I don’t need an unconditional surrender of your heart. You love me, you’re in love with me. And that’s all that matters. I could be gone tomorrow, it’s your friends who will always be there for you. Not to say I have any intentions of going anywhere.”

Joey smiled. “How is it you manage to always say just the right thing at just the right time?”

“It’s a gift. I’m the supreme being of the universe, after all.”

“Oh, that’s right, I forgot,” Joey said with a little laugh. “I guess I need to start acting mature. I was just so mad, Tris. I was so close to doing something horrible to him. I’d never hurt him, I just…I lost myself.”

“You’re explaining this to the wrong person, Baby.” Joey looked at Tristan tersely. “He’ll understand. He loves you.”


-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-


Fate was not on his side it seemed. Yugi got to the library after class and spotted Brian. Before he could be seen he ran back through the double doors and to the parking lot. Now what was he supposed to do? Joey was back at the apartment, he was sure of it.

Yugi checked his cell phone. It was a little before three. Where was he supposed to go? He couldn’t go to Bakura’s anymore. Bakura hadn’t even called him to make sure he got back home safely. He was cut off from him now:


“Want to tell me why you came over here so upset?”

“Joey and I argued.”

“About what?”

“He got mad that I slept with one of Tristan’s ex-boyfriends.”

“Brian?”

“You know him.”

“Yeah, I know him. You slept with Brian, Babyface?” Yugi nodded. “Did you know it was Tristan’s ex-boyfriend at the time?” Yugi nodded again. “Why would you do that?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Yugi frowned. Bakura’s tone was already threatening, he sounded a lot like he did on Friday night. “You made a conscious decision to sleep with him. You must know why you did it.”

“I don’t, okay. I don’t. I did it to do it. It’s done now. I don’t need a lecture from you too, Kura.”

“When did you sleep with him?” It dIt doesn’t matter.”

“How many people did you sleep with last week, Yugi?”

“Is this 21 questions, I didn’t come over here to be interrogated. I thought we settled this.”

“It won’t be settled until you stop fucking around.” Yugi narrowed his eyes. “You keep coming over here every time life hits you hard fine, I don’t mind being a shoulder to cry on, but this bullshit needs to end.”

“Bakura, please…just stop it!”

“Tell me how many guys you were with last week.”

“Three.”

“Including or not including me.”

“Not including.” Bakura gave Yugi a look. Yugi dropped his head. “Bakura, please…don’t…”

“How do you expect me to be? Three guys, Yugi? Three?”

“I told you I’m trying.”

“How are you trying? Taking a three day break doesn’t cut it.”

“Then let’s forget it, Bakura. Let’s just stop trying. It’s never going to work for us. It’s useless to keep trying.” Balura’s eyes went dark, Yugi quivered a little, not liking the look on Bakura’s face one bit.

“You’re right, Yugi. This won’t work between us. Let’s just give it a rest. Every time we take one step forward we take two steps back. I’m done. No more bullshit with you. You have fun with your other boyfriends, Brian included, I’m through.” Yugi looked at Bakura for a long time. He hardly ever called him by his first name. “I’m not going to sit here like an idiot. I’ve wasted enough time already.”

“Yeah, I guess so, Bakura.” Yugi hopped off the counter. He changed back into his own clothes then walked over to the door and grabbed his shoes. Bakura said nothing to him, but gave him a blank expression. He picked up his boots, slipped them on and left. He began his walk, the long walk from the apartment to his car. It was like a walk of shame. Of course this walk was always from someone else’s place, one of his guys. He’d slip on his clothes, his boots and sneak out, trying to figure out if he was just playing the role of the sex toy, or if he really was one now.

Just where did the sex kitten end and the real Yugi begin? He wasn’t even sure anymore. And now, he was leaving Bakura, in the same way he left all the rest of them. Bakura had been sated…they both had. And now Yugi’s presence was no longer required. He just couldn’t be happy. He was too afraid of the fall, he was too afraid of being alone again. And he would be, Joey had lost all respect for him now. And his safe guy, his pseudo boyfriend, Bakura, had given him up.

It was a long walk to his car. Shame was not the only thing that accompanied him. He had guilt and heartbreak and loneliness and anguish with him. If Bakura had been his last chance at happiness than how was his story going to end? Where would he go from here?


Yugi got into his car, maybe he could stay in the car for a while. The car had become a small prison, a safe place to hide while the world around him crumbled. How many nights had he broken down ins cas car? How many times had he pounded his fists on the steering wheel, tears streaming down his face? He hadn’t cried when he got into the car last night, after leaving Bakura.

He had grown numb. The heartache and disappointment had turned him numb.

Last night was now ancient history. Where was he going to go now? He could drive to another town and go to that library. Or he could go to a coffee shop. Did he even have money for a coffee shop? His ATM card was at the apartment, he had taken it out of his wallet so he could write down the account number when he paid bills on Saturday. Yugi sorted through his things that were sitting on the passenger seat and found the napkin. The one with Malik’s address on it.

Was this some kind of sign?

Yugi pulled out his cell phone and scrolled down until he found Malik’s phone number. Why not go see him? Why not live up to his reputation. He was a little slut after all. Why disappoint an admirer? At least that would waste time. At least he’d have something to do while he passed the time, avoiding Joey.


-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-


Malik opened the door with a big smile. “I’m so glad you decided to come, Munchkin.” Yugi stepped into the apartment and instinctively took off his shoes. “I was starting to think you didn’t like me much.”

“What would give you that impression?” Yugi asked, watching Malik close and lock the door. “Just because I blew you off so much doesn’t mean I didn’t like you.”

Malik smirked. “Would you like something to eat or drink?” Yugi shook his head. “Alright then. Well, let me go take the meat out to defrost for dinner. If you want you can wait for me in my bedroom. It’s the door straight back.” Yugi gave Malik a look and headed for the room.

At least prostitutes got paid for what they did. He was worse than a prostitute. Was it even possible to be worse than a prostitute?

Yugi stepped into the room, the door was slightly ajar. He wondered if he should make himself comfortable. He was just walking over to the bed when the other person standing in the room cleared his throat. Yugi turned, startled, not noticing that he had walked into an already occupied room.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I must have come into the wrong room.” Yugi met chocolate eyes. “Which room is Malik’s?”

“This is Malik’s room,” Ryou answered. “You must be Yugi. I’m Ryou.”

Yugi glanced at Ryou for a while. How was it possible Ryou looked so similar to Bakura? Only Ryou didn’t look as old. And he looked far more innocent. He had actually never seen Ryou before. This was weird. What were you supposed to say to the ex of the guy you were involved with?

Well, really, now Bakura and him were no longer involved. But still, it was a little strange. He had never had to do this before. He had never met any of Yami’s old flames before he got with him.

“I’verd ard all about you, Yugi.” Yugi looked back at Ryou. The only thing he had ever heard about Ryou was that he had gone psycho towards the end of his and Bakura’s relationship. “I’ve wanted to meet you for a long time. It’s nice to finally put a face with the name.”

“Yes, it is.” Yugi offered a small smile. “So are you and Malik roommates?”

“Yes. Malik took me in after Bakura left me.” That was weird, Bakura said he moved after Ryou and him broke up. He had left Ryou with the apartment. Maybe he couldn’t afford to stay there alone so he moved in with Malik. “How is Bakura, Yugi?”

“He’s fine.” Yugi wasn’t sure what to say. Bakura and him weren’t exactly together anymore.

“Does Bakura know you’re here to fuck Malik?” Yugi’s heart jumped. Ryou’s face remained the same, it was still placid. But his tone had taken on a dark edge to it. “Does he know that you cheat on him?”

“I don’t cheat on him. Actually, Bakura and my situation is really none of your business.” What was Ryou’s problem anyway? Perhaps this was the psycho in him coming out. “Maybe I should go see what’s taking Malik so long.”

“It serves him right. After all, Bakura cheated on me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Yugi headed for the door.

“Why should you be faithful to him? You got with him while he was still with me.” Yugi stopped dead in his tracks and looked back at Ryou. “Your relationship started onie.”ie.”

“You and Bakura were broken up for two weeks when I met him at the Pyramid. I never got with him when you were still with him.”

“Yes you did.”

“No I ’t. ’t. Bakura told me that he had just gotten out of a relationship and that he wasn’t looking to get into another one. I wouldn’t have gotten with him if he was with someone else. I wouldn’t do anything with someone else’s boyfriend.”

“Yes you would. You told Malik at the Pyramid that you weren’t into breaking up happy relationships but you’d make exceptions.”

“Look, that was a line. I was never with Bakura when you were. I just wouldn’t do that.”

“You did. You stole my boyfriend. Malik’s told me all about you. How you’re a slut, how you’ll sleep with anyone.”

“I was never with Bakura when you were, why aren’t you understanding that.”

“I loved him, Yugi. I would have died for him. And you come along and seduce him.”

“Bakura told me you were broken up. Even if he really was still with you at the time then he lied to me about it. And besides, your relationship was fallen apart at the end.”

“So you admit to it.”

“No. What the hell is wrong with you? I didn’t take your boyfriend.” Yugi was exasperated. How long ago had they been broken up? It was so long ago at this point, a few months shy of a year, and Ryou was still holding on to it?

Not that he was one to talk, still longing for Yami on occasion. But he never went after Seto Kaiba and yelled at him for taking Yami from him. His interactions with Seto had always been civil, unless the CEO said something nasty to him. Ryou definitely had some problems. This was obviously a mistake. And if Malik really did tell Ryou that he had stolen his boyfriend that added another layer to the situation.

“I’m going to find Malik.” Just as Yugi took the doorknob in his hands Malik appeared. “There you are.”

“Oh, I see you’ve met my roommate, Ryou.”

“Yes, I’ve met him.” Yugi glanced at the white haired man, not sure what to make of what Ryou said. He wasn’t playing with a full deck, and Yugi wasn’t sure what to think about what he had said about Malik.

“Muffin, were you polite to our guest?” Ryou looked at Malik and looked down. “Ryou, you didn’t start fighting with Yugi, did you?” Yugi watched as Ryou hunched his shoulders over, like a child about to be reprimanded. “Ryou, we discussed this didn’t we? We talked about how we would be handling things.”

“I know, I’m sorry, Malik. I’m sorry I upset you.” Ryou didn’t look up as he spoke, his body language remained the same. Yugi made a face. How strange. Well, at least the thing with Ryou was settled. “When I saw him I just, I couldn’t help it.”

“I understand, Muffin. But we need to handle this diplomatically. We can’t let anger and hurt rule us.” What were they talking about? “We’ve waited a long time for this, we don’t want to botch things up, do we?”

“No, Baby.” Ryou looked up finally. Malik smiled at him. Did he just call Malik “Baby”? What the hell is going on here?

“Yugi, I’m sorry if what Ryou and you were discussing upset you.” Yugi looked at Malik, not really sure he knew what was going on here. “But can we really blame him, most people don’t take break ups well.”

“I guess not.”

“Especially when they’re cheated on. And when the person who took their boyfriend from them is standing so close to him.”

Yugi made a face. What was Malik saying? “Ryou’s held a grudge for a long time, Yugi. His heart was never able to heal because he never got to confront you.” What? “I’m afraid I wasn’t being completely honest with you, Yugi, about why I wanted you to come over here.”

What the fuck is Malik talking… “You can’t get away with what you did,” Ryou stated, looking at Yugi, his tone dark again.

“No, Yugi, you cannot. Do you think sleeping with other people’s boyfriends is appropriate? That it’s okay to hurt others? It’s not.”

“I’ve never slept with anyone else’s boyfriend. What is wrong with the two of you? I got with Bakura after he and Ryou broke up.”

“Yugi, we know the truth. It is silly to deny the facts.” Malik shut the door behind himself, and Yugi watched as he locked it. That was the moment he knew that this was much more than a simple hookup. Ryou wasn’t the only psycho in this room. He had to remain calm, he could talk his way out of anything. He’d talk his way out of this as well.

“I honestly have never been with someone who was with someone else. Never.”

“You coming over here today shoots that theory right out of the water. You’re here behind Bakura’s back,” Malik stated, leaning his body against the door.

“I’m not with Bakura anymore. It’s over between us.was was never even his boyfriend. It was a casual dating thing. We were both seeing other people.”

“We know you see other people, Yugi. You’re a slut.” Yugi bristled at the comment, Malik’s words were soaked in venom. He had to stay calm though. Malik was bigger than him. He didn’t want to provoke him too much. He already had a feeling he was going to end up beaten up. Maybe the beating wouldn’t be so bad if he said the right thing. “I’m sure Ryou was not the only one. You’ve been with so many people, haven’t you?”

“Let’s pretend for a moment that you’re right. That Bakura was still with Ryou when he got with me. If that’s true than he lied to me as well. He said it was over. Ryou, if that’s what happened than I’m truly sorry. But your gripe is with Bakura, not me. You should take this up with him.” Ryou looked at Yugi for a moment and then at Malik, like he was wondering if Yugi was being honest with them.

Malik’s expression hardened. “We don’t believe you, Yugi. Your reputation speaks for itself.”

“Damn it, I’m telling the truth. The two of you have fucking problems!”

“Do you hear that, Ryou. He’s calling you crazy. Like Bakura use to. Remember?” Ryou looked at Malik, his face growing angrier. “What do you think Ryou, do you believe him, or do you believe me?”

“I believe you, Malik.” Yugi looked at the two. Ryou didn’t have his own opinion. Nor was he in charge of the situation. Malik was calling all the shots. Joey’s warning that Malik was not a good person were coming back to him now. Whatever sort of revenge the blond had planned for him would not be pretty…

“I think it’s time we begin, don’t you, Yugi? The sooner we get this over with, the sooner Ryou can heal properly. And as for Bakura, he is welcome to have you. Although, there’s no accounting for taste.”

“I’d like to leave. Right now.”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“I want to leave right now, Malik! Move away from the door. You cannot keep me here against my will, that’s kipingping.”

“Oh, is it?”

“MOVE AWAY FROM THE DOOR!” Yugi grabbed the doorknob, trying to unlock it. Malik lifted his hand and slapped Yugi hard across the face, Yugi stumbled back. He lost his footing and landed on the floor.

“We’re off to a bad start, Munchkin.” He glanced at Ryou who walked over to the closet to retrieve something. “I don’t want to mess up that cute little face of yours, but if you don’t cooperate I’ll have no choice.” He took three steps, closing the distance between them. “If you don’t want this to go worse than I planned than I suggest you do what I say. It’s in your best interest to behave.”

“You’re a psycho. You both are.” Yugi forced himself to his feet. He could see Ryou pulling out a small box. He was walking back over to them and put it on the table by the bed.

“Ryou cries himself to sleep almost all the time, Yugi. He’s hurting. Doesn’t he deserve to feel better?”

“At what cost? How can I make him feel better? I can’t. No matter what happens here Bakura will still be gone. Why would he want a psycho boyfriend?”

“Don’t listen to him, Muffin, he’s just saying that because he’s a bad person. He’s an uncaring slut.” Ryou nodded. “Open the box, Muffin. Let’s show this slut that he can’t hurt you and get away with it.”

Yugi swallowed, wondering what in God’s name could be in that box. What in the world was going to happen to him? He had to get out of here. He glanced at the door again. He couldn’t stay here and find out what revenge Malik had plotted. What if he was going to throw acid on him or something…or electrocute him… or torture him…or poison him?

“If you try running to the door again Yugi I’ll be forced to tie you down, and I don’t want to do that. If you don’t want to be permanently damaged I’d sit on the bed if I were you.” The words pierced Yugi’s heart. What should he do… what could he do…he didn’t know what was in that box…all his worst fears could be realized.

And this time, no one…not Joey or Bakura were going to save him.

Yugi swallowed and sat at the edge of the bed. He had to see what was in that box. If it was something horrible he was going to try to make a run for it. He wouldn’t go down without a fight. He’d run for the door and pray he could get out of the bedroom. He’d probably never make it to the front door but he could run into the kitchen, or another room and lock the door. Or find a weapon.

He was reaching here. There was no guarantee he’d get out of this room. Plus there wasn’t just Malik, there was Ryou, who was obviously willing to do whatever Malik wanted him to do. No wonder Malik had been so persistent. No wonder he had been calling desperately. It was all making sense now. He needed Yugi over so he could exact his revenge. This was like some horror movie…some nightmare that he wouldn’t be able to wake up from.

Yugi shifted a little, trying to see the contents of the box. It was a small box, only about the size of Ryou’s hand. He wanted to see what was in it… and at the same time he didn’t. Each second was agony. “Don’t worry, Yugi. Knowing you, I know you’ll enjoy this.”

Yugi looked up into Malik’s violet eyes, which were flickering with amusement. “Would you like to see what Ryou has in the box?”

Yugi didn’t answer. It started to occur to him what was going on. What Malik’s revenge was going to be. He guessed he already knew what was going to happen to him the moment he first realized he was in danger. Malik’s hands were on his pants button. He shifted so he could unbutton and unzip Ryou’s pants as well.

A single tear escaped Yugi’s eye as he sat on the bed, stiffly, numb…waiting for the unavoidable.

There was nowhere to run now.

He was alone…and his loneliness had pushed him into a monster’s bed.


-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-


He had been in the shower for two hours, the water had turned cold forty minutes ago. But he couldn’t get out yet. He was still dirty.


“Why would Bakura want a dirty little slut like you, huh, why, Yugi?”

“Please, don’t make do this…please…”


He continued to scrub his skin raw, trying to shake the feeling that Malik’s sweat was still on him, that Malik was still inside of him. At some point he had stopped pleading, he had just lay still and waited for Malik to be done with him. Struggling was pointless. He deserved what Malik was doing.

Ryou had to feel better, so he had to do this for him. Strange that his cries echoed louder when they were silent. That he begged louder when he stopped resisting it. Resisting what he deserved.


“You’re pretty damn tight for a slut, if you were any taller you probably wouldn’t be such a good fuck.

“It hurts, please…stop…please…”


His skin had begun to prune, he was shriveled up now. His shaking was so hard that he couldn’t keep his arm steady enough to keep cleaning himself off. Yugi shut off the water with a trembling hand. It didn’t matter how hard he scrubbed, he would never be clean again. He was tainted now. Damaged.

Some how he managed to get out of the shower. He sank onto the carpet, grabbing the towel and yanking it off the rack.


“This will teach you that you can’t be a slut and steal people’s boyfriends and get away with it. Are you sorry for what you did?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Just don’t…not again…please….I’m sorry, I…I learned my lesson…”


This was his fault of course. Joey had told him not to have anything to do with Malik. Bakura had told him that some guys didn’t appreciate being led on and teased, that he couldn’t go around acting like hot stuff all the time. Why was he so upset, he caused this. He deserved it.

Even if he didn’t know about Bakura. Even if he hadn’t meant to be with Bakura when he was still with Ryou there were probably other guys he had slept with that had boyfriends. And the sad part was, even if Bakura had have been honest with him, knowing him, he would have slept with Bakura anyway.


“You’ll feel better once we’re done with him, Muffin. He’s gonna be so sorry he hurt you.”


What was he supposed to do now? Joey wasn’t home. Out with Tristan, certainly. It wasn’t like Joey would believe him anyway. He must have wanted it, he went over to Malik’s apartment. He went over there to sleep with him. He had been asking for it. He had deserved every wrenching moment of it.

Every thrust.

Every push.


“Look, Ryou…see… he’s enjoying it…look at him. He’s happy to see us.” Malik shifted. “We’re giving him just what he wants.”


Yugi was still trembling as he rose to his feet, a fresh set of tears stinging his eyes as he opened the medicine cabinet. He knocked a few items into the sink as he searched the shelves. Finding what he was looking for he opened the razor blade holder.

Maybe it was time to finish what he had started over a year ago. Maybe it was time to finally put an end to the pain once and for all.

Like the sound of silence calling, he was lost in a dream…


-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-


“Yug, I’m home.” Joey took off his shoes. He was still wet, his umbrella had offered little cover. Even the cardboard box he was holding was damp. “I got us some pizza. Your favorite.” Joey went into the kitchen. Maybe Yugi was out again. He placed the pizza box on the counter. He had tried calling Yugi’s cell phone when he was on his way to the pizza parlor but he had only gotten his voicemail.

His roommate had to be home though. Yugi’s house and car keys were sitting on the counter.

Maybe he’s still mad at me. I really should have said something to him this morning. I know I made him feel really awful last night. Joey sighed. Yugi was probably in his room, studying with the headphones on.

“Yug, I’m home. I’m sorry we fought last night. I know we need to talk about things. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.” Joey walked towards Yugi’s bedroom and knocked. When there was no answer he reached for the knob, but then stopped himself.

He could feel it. Something was wrong. “Yugi, are you in here?” There was no answer. He opened the door, and saw immediately that Yugi wasn’t in his room. “Yugi, where are you. The pizza is gonna get cold. Yug?” He walked into the room, Yugi’s cell phone was blinking.

Joey picked the cell phone up. Yugi had two missed calls. One was from him, and another was from Bakura. Joey swallowed the lump in his throat. Yugi was probably in the bathroom. That was the only other logical place he could be.

Joey walked back over to the bathroom door. He knocked. “Yugi, listen, I’m sorry I yelled at you last night. Let’s talk about this. Okay?” Yugi didn’t answer. “Please, Yugi, I don’t want to fight with you anymore. Let’s just end it, okay? I hate what we’ve become. Strangers living in the same house.”

Still no response.

“Yugi, come on. Open the door. I’m not going to stand here talking to you from out here. I got us dinner. Come on out.” Joey knocked again. Why was Yugi being like this…why was he…

Joey tried the door handle. It was locked.

“Yugi, say something to me. Please.” Nothing. Silence. Joey reached up to the molding on top of the door and picked up the key. “Yugi, say something to me right now. YUGI!” Silence. “If you don’t answer me I’m going to come into the bathroom. YUGI!”

Why did this remind him of last year…why did it remind him of finding Yugi in his apartment, unconscious?

Joey unlocked the door and opened it, having to force the door all the way open. There were clothes blocking it. The first thing he saw was the razor blade, which was sitting on the tile, traces of blood lining the edge.

Yugi sat curled up in a ball, head down, completely naked, his hair wet, his arms wrapped around his knees. One of his knees had blood drops on it. His entire body was shaking violently.

“Oh gods, Yugi….” Joey approached him carefully, not sure what to make of Yugi’s state. He crouched down in front of him, his heart pounding in his ears. “Yugi, please…look at me…”

Joey placed a hand on his roommate’s shoulder. Yugi flinched. “It’s just me, Yugi. It’s me, Joey. Yugi, look at me, please.” Yugi lifted his head. His eyes were puffy and red, and faraway, glazed over. “Yugi, it’s okay, I’m here now, Yug. I’m here.”

“Joey?” Yugi asked, his voice was low, barely audible. “Joey…”

“What happened, Yugi…tell me what happened…” Joey carefully pulled Yugi’s right hand away from his leg. There was a small cut on his wrist, most likely from the razor blade. It wasn’t deep enough to cause any damage, but it was still bloody. “Yugi, talk to me…”

“I’m sorry, Joey…” Yugi’s voice was still low, and it sounded spacey, like he was in a trance. “I’m sorry.”

“There is nothing to be sorry for, it’s okay. Everything is okay now.” Joey reached for Yugi, and seeing that Yugi didn’t fight him, he gathered Yugi up. “Come on, Yugi, let’s get you dressed.” The blond grabbed the towel by Yugi’s body and tossed it over his shoulder. Then Joey picked Yugi up and carried him into his own bedroom.

Yugi sat on the bed, blankly. Silent. Joey pulled out a pair of his boxers, sweat pants and a long sleeve t-shirt. He knew that Yugi was usually comforted by wearing his clothes, and he wanted Yugi to be as comfortable as possible. Had Yugi tried to kill himself again? Had the situation with his best friend gotten that bad without him realizing it?

“Come on, Yugi, let’s get you dressed.” Yugi allowed Joey to pull on a pair of boxers and the sweat pants. “Yugi, tell me what happened, whatever it is we’ll work it out. Me and you. Like always, okay?”

“I’m sorry, Joey.”

“Sorry for what?” Joey was helping him put his shirt on. “Did you try to kill yourself, Yug?” Yugi didn’t look at him. He was still shaking. “Yugi, answer me. Did you try to kill yourself?”

“I just wanted the pain to stop, Joey. It wouldn’t…it wouldn’t stop…”

“So you took the razor blade and cut yourself, Yugi?” Yugi was trembling hard again. Joey wrapped Yugi’s hair up in the towel. “Yugi, tell me what happened. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

“Did you know Ryou is Malik’s roommate?”

Joey narrowed his eyes. “Yugi, what are you talking about? Tell me what happened in the bathroom.”

Yugi turned away from Joey, sitting with his legs crossed Indian style. “Ryou said I stole Bakura from him. He said I took his boyfriend.”

“Yugi, I want you to tell me what happened in the bathroom. Please, Yug.”

“I told them that Bakura said he was finished with Ryou. They didn’t believe me.”

“Yugi, I don’t understand. Tell me what happened in the bathroom.”

“The pain won’t go away…so in the bathroom…in the bathroom I tried to make it stop…”

Joey swallowed. What was Yugi talking about? “Yugi, please, look at me.” Yugi shook his head no. “You said Malik and Ryou are roommates, did you see Malik today?” Yugi nodded. “Did something happen that upset you, did Malik say something to you?”

“He said I couldn’t steal people’s boyfriends.”

“Malik said you took Bakura from Ryou.” Yugi nodded. Joey tried placing his hand on Yugi’s shoulder but he flinched again. “Yugi, are you upset because Bakura lied to you?”

“Malik said that Ryou needed to heal. That he was still upset.”

“Upset because you took Bakura from him?”

“Malik said I couldn’t get away with it…he made Ryou take out a box from the closet. So Ryou could feel better.”

Joey’s mind was racing. What exactly was Yugi saying to him? “Yug, tell me what else happened at Malik and Ryou’s apartment.”

“I deserved it, Joey.”

“Deserved what?” Joey’s heart was banging against his rib cage. He was afraid to ask… afraid to ask because he already knew the answer….he couldn’t…he couldn’t ask… He swallowed hard, his throat closing in on him. “Yugi, did Malik…did he force you to…”

“Yes, Joey.”

Joey could physically feel the pain in his chest… his heart was splintering…it was tearing into pieces and shattering… the color drained from his face… “Oh…Oh Gods, Yugi…” Yugi turned around then, tears already starting to fall. Joey grabbed him hard, pulling the still shaking male into his arms. “We have to go to the police, to the hospital.”

“NO…no…don’t, don’t make me go…Joey…Please…”

“I won’t…I won’t…”

“He…he wouldn’t…I…I…begged him…begged…and..” Yugi’s sobs of anguish cut Joey’s heart further. He was too upset to get it out. “He wouldn’t stop…he wouldn’t stop…”

“Yugi, it’s okay, I’m here…it’s okay…” Joey didn’t believe his own words, he couldn’t find any conviction. It wasn’t going to be okay…it was never going to be okay again. He pulled Yugi as close as possible, trying to comfort him as Yugi broke down further.

“There was a box…it…Ryou…he…from the closet…it…it…it…had condoms in it…and he….he…just kept opening them up…and…”

“Oh, Yugi…I’m here…it’s okay…it’s okay.” Yugi’s cries were miserable, his arms were around Joey’s neck and he tugged at Joey’s collar. He couldn’t find the words…Yugi needed him… needed him to say something…anything…and he couldn’t…there was nothing he could say… nothing he could do…he was helpless…Yugi was suffering…he was dying inside… and nothing he did…nothing would help…nothing…nothing….

“Ryou…he made…he made him watch…he made him…come…pleasure himself…and…he just…he…I…couldn’t fight back…I laid there…I let him…hurt me…”

“No, Yugi, no…you couldn’t fight him…he’s bigger than you… he would have hurt you…”

“He wouldn’t stop…Joey…he…it hurts so much…it hurts so much…please…Joey…make it stop please…”

“I’m going to take care of you, I promise…I’m so sorry…I’m so so sorry…I should have been there for you. I was so selfish, I yelled at you when I should have been…I should have heard your cries for help…”

“I didn’t think…I didn’t…I thought you…you wouldn’t believe me…so I took the razor blade…I couldn’t stand the pain anymore…”

“Yugi, I’m going to be here…I’m going to take care of you…I won’t let anything else… happen…I…this is my fault…Yugi, I’m sorry…I’m…” Joey couldn’t hold back anymore, his tears were blinding him as he felt his best friend sobbing in his arms, felt his body quiver with each pained cry. He was desperate…he couldn’t think of anythinythiything to say…He couldn’t help him…he was so helpless…Yugi was so frail…so alone…and this was his fault. His.

“He made…he made me come…he said I enjoyed it…”

“It was your body…your body reacted to it…he had no right to hurt you. None. I’ll kill him for what he did to you. It wasn’t your fault, Yugi. It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was…Joey…”

“NO. It wasn’t. You did not deserve it. NO ONE DESERVES IT. No one.”

“Joey…”

“I’m here now. And I’m going to take care of you. I love you, Yugi. I love you so much. You’re so special, you’re so important to me. I’m sorry we were growing apart. It was my fault. I love you. Do you understand me, I love you.”

Yugi sobbed, inconsolably. “Joey…please…don’t…don’t leave me…”

“Impossible. I’m not leaving you. Never. I love you too damn much.” He pulled away from Yugi a little bit. “Look at me, Yugi, please.” Yugi rubbed some of the tears from his eyes. “I love you. I will always love you. No matter what happens. Nothing in this entire world will ever, ever change that. I love you.”

Yugi looked at Joey, a few more tears following. Yugi took a trembling arm and presented Joey his wrist. Joey kissed the old scar, and the new small cut, that had begun to scab over. “Always, Yugi. Always. I will never leave you. I will always love you. I will be right here, with you. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right here.”

He held Yugi to him again, letting his best friend cry himself to sleep.

When Joey was sure Yugs sls sleeping he let more of his own tears fall, and he allowed himself to finish breaking down.

Author’s Endnotes: (wipes tears from her eyes as she begins typing this) The hardest thing I’ve ever had to hear was one of my friends tell me that she was raped. It was like my world came crashing down, this lovely little bubble I was living in collapsed. I will not pretend I weelieeling anything nearly as horrible as she was feeling. I will say that as for this story, details as to what exactly happened to Yugi are unimportant. All that does matter is that it happened. This is not a rape fic, I didn’t begin this story with that in mind. Dwelling on a negative, like rape, is not what I think any fully developed fic should be about. Especially one this long. Certainly the repercussions of what happened will make themselves known throughout the next few chapters. It isn’t as if something like this will go away over night. I hate myself for doing this to Yugi, he’s probably one of my favorite characters in this story. I know you probably hate what has happened to him too. But you can rest assured that everything in this story happens for a reason. And this story has a very lovely happy ending. Sometimes it takes a very bad situation to remind you who your friends are, and let you see the good in people you didnoticotice before. I did warn you about this from the beginning, though I know it doesn’t make it any easier. Anyway, enough of that…I’m pretty damn depressed at the moment, so I’m going to need to go cheer myself up. I’ll try to update Friday, I don’t want the suspense to kill you. For the record, I do like Malik, not in this story of course, but like Seto… I needed a bad guy. And as always, I leave you with this:

“We’re just going to have to be strong for him, Baby. He needs usbe sbe strong for him. He needs you to be strong for him.” Joey looked into Tristan’s eyes. How could he be strong for him, how could he after what had happened. Joey blinked back a few tears.

“Joey, it’s okay to cry. You can be strong and still cry. Let it out, holding it in will only make it worse, Baby.”

“He’s so upset, Tris…I don’t know what to do for him.”

“Be there for him. Show him how much you love him. I’ll make some phone calls, I’ll call my old col pro professors and see if they could recommend the name of a doctor he could talk to. He has a lot of underlining issues. And I’ll come with you when you go to pick him up from his grandfather’s house. I’ll tell him about the clinic. He needs to be checked out. I’ll go with him if it’ll help.”

“I don’t know if he’ll be okay.”

“He will be okay, Joey. We’re going to do whatever if takes for him to be okay.”