Falling To Pieces

Kaiba's eyes burned and his head spun as he woke.

He wasn't too sure of what all had happened, how he got home, or if any of it was real.

Could it all have been a dream?, he wondered.

His eyes fought the light streaming thought the windows and slowly sat up.

"So... dizzy..." he moaned.

"Awake I see..."

"?!"

"Hate to say this,but, " Honda started, ignoring to confused gaze of his lover, "You look terrible!"

"Wh-what... what's going..."

"Don't remember a thing do you?"

"N-no, honestly... wait! I-I was with someone and you... and Mokuba..."

Little by little things started to come back.

Honda sat back and watched Kaiba's eyes. They told so much about what was going on through his mind, he could tell he wasn't liking all that was coming back.

Before Kaiba was able to upset himself anymore, Honda stopped him.

"Mokuba got worried about you and wanted my help..."

"Bu-but why..."

"Because I still love you..."

"..."

"Wait, you still... I..."

"Yes, yes, very much, it's just... I..."

"What? It's just what?"

"..." he sat up and fixed his eyes, hidden under his bangs, on his hands folded in his lap.

"Lo... Look at me, please? If you want me to go..."

"I don't..."

"Well, then I guess I should get my stuff from..."

"N-no." it was the first time in his life that word hurt to say.

"Wh-what? Why..."

"I've put you in enough danger as it is..."

"What?! Ok, yea, but, nothing has happened..."

"Yet."

"N-no... I..."

"I don't see why you'd want to take me back anyway..."

"What?!"

"And it's not that I don't want you back... I can't."

"You can't?! Sounds like Gazabouro again..."

"No, not this time." he said, as he went on to explain his reasons; Seig's people, the guy he was with... Kaiba was terrified, not for himself, but for Honda, that any of them if not all may come back.

All Honda could hear was Kaiba saying 'I can't take you back' and could feel the words slice through him and he wanted no more.

With out a word, or even looking back, he left yet again, this time determined, no matter how upset Mokuba may get, he was not coming back.

Kaiba stay put in his bed, still afraid to stand as the room continued to spin.

I'm sorry. I love you too much to put you through any more. I have too many enemies...

Honda burst through the door to Otogi's, unaware he was home.

"Hey! Whoa! Why the..."

"Look, I don't want to seem like an ungracious guest, but please leave me alone..." he choked and started up the stairs til Otogi caught him by the arm.

At first he was ready to let go as Honda's glare shot daggers into the hand holding him back.

"I just thought you'd want to know..."

"Know what?"

"It's about Miho..."

"What about Miho... shit!"

"Yea, she went to Anzu all confused and told her what happened..."

"Anzu?! That little..."

"She didn't say anything! Miho figured it all out on her own! No help from any of us!"

"B-but how?!" he wondered til he remembered her telling him how people were acting funny around her... especially Kaiba, "Oh, gods! The hell am I going to do?!" he exclaimed, falling back onto the couch in despair, "She'll never let me explain..."

"I think she will. She seems pretty understanding. Now, about nearly tearing my house down?"

"Sorry... I... I was at Kaiba's..."

"Won't take you back, will he?"

"He said he can't take me back..."

"??"

"I don't want to get into it right now..." he started to cry, "I just don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do anymore!"

Otogi didn't know at first what to do. He sat on the couch next to him and placed a reasuring hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know, I didn't mean to upset you more..."

Honda had to let it go. He learned from experience it was best to just cry it out and so grabbed Otogi and burried his face into his chest.

Otogi flinched at first and cautiously wrapped his arms around him.

"I-I don't know what I should say," he said softly into the top of Honda's head, "I'm sorry... really..."

Honda quickly ceased the tears and looked up into Otogi's eyes.

Caught up in the moment, with a slight bit of hesitation as amber met jade, the two locked into a strong kiss.

Without breaking the seal between them, Honda shifted to get a better lock on Otogi, wrapping his arm around the slender figure, he guided him back on the couch.

Otogi moaned and sqirmed with anitcipation as Honda peppered his neck, throat and chest with kisses and sweeping motions of his hand under his shirt then down to about his waist line when he suddenly stopped.

"What's wrong?" Otogi asked.

"Why aren't you stopping me?" Honda asked into his stomach.

"?!"

Honda jumped from the couch and began frantically pacing the living room.

"I'm sorry, Otogi, I'm sorry!" he repeated over and over, "I-I can't stay here! I... the hell?!"

"Honda, calm down!"

"The hell do you mean 'calm down!'?! Otogi, why didn't you stop me?!"

"I didn't want to."

"?!?!"

"Look, you don't have to leave, ok? Nothing happened, we can just forget it." Otogi's body language was stiff. Honda could tell he was trying to keep from crying by the way he constantly looked around the room at everything but him; Kaiba was famous for it.

"O-Otogi..."

"What? I'm fine!"

"This is why you took Shizuka..."

"What?! No!"

"And why you were so against Kaiba..."

"So he's got more balls than me! So what?!" he burst.

"What?!"

"I didn't know! I thought if I got in the way of Shizuka, maybe... then she and I got so close and... you were so unhappy and it did bother me, but then Kaiba comes along and takes what I would have thought the biggest risk to my life and gets you!"

"..."

"You don't have to go. I'll live. I do love Shizuka, she's very good to me and I try to be the best for her..."

"O-Ok... I guess I should just... I better go talk to Miho before Anzu can do anymore damage."

He hated to leave Otogi so upset, but he had to get this straightened out with Miho.

"Need anything? I can stop by the store on the way back... carry out... anything?"

"No, thanks. I'm fine. You go and take care of Miho."

Honda gave a slight smile and nod and went on his way.

"Is Miho home?"

"Hiroto! Yes, come in, please." her mother escorted him to her room where she was pouring through studies to catch up having come in so late in the year.

"Ganna hurt yourself, you know?" he joked, yet got no response, "I-I'm so sorry... I wanted to tell you..."

"It's ok, Honda-kun." she said without looking up.

"What? No! No it's not ok, I lied to you, I lead you on..."

"You were afraid..."

"What?! Where did you..."

"Mai-san. She's very nice, and seems to know you very well..."

"Wh-what did she tell you?"

"Basically, she said you don't know yourself..."

"?!"

"I know, I wasn't sure either, but, I thought about it and I'm fine with it..."

"You're ok with the fact I'm gay?"

"She said you're bi, so I just thought whatever you decided, I'll..."

"No. I'm gay. All the way..."

"Well, it's ok, I knew you were lying about something the other night..."

"??"

"I know you said you'd never been with a girl, but I knew you had to have been with someone... though that someone being Kaiba threw me..."

"..."

"Come on, no one learns moves like those just by reading!" she laughed.

"Y-yea, " he chuckled, "I guess you're right..."

"So are you two back together?"

"No," he sighed, "It's a long story and I really really don't want to get into it."

"Ok, I understand. You going to meet up with us at Yugi's later? They said they'd teach me all the new moves in Duel Monsters..."

"No, I don't think I should..."

"Come on, you don't want to be alone!"

"Yea, I kinda do right now. I have a lot to think about. I'll see you in school Monday."

"Ok," she hugged him tight and gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek, "I'm glad you found yourself."

"Thanks, but I'm not so sure I have..."

"..."

"See ya."

He avoided everyone the whole day, hiding in his room staring at the ceiling trying to sleep.

After hours of fighting, just as it seemed he would finally give in to exaustion after having been up all the night before nursing Kaiba, a rustle in the hallway startled him.

Quitly he cracked the door to catch Otogi getting ready for bed himself.

"Honda! We were worried about you..."

"Sorry, I've been here all day..." he said throught the narrow slit.

"Well, I didn't mean to wake you. I'm headed in myself..."

Honda stepped out of his room and snuck a peek into Otogi's.

At first he felt like a pervert; peeking in on his friend as he dressed, but he just had to see; after having felt him in his arms earlier that day, holding him again played on his mind.

No matter how hard he fought it, all he could think about was holding him again.

As Otogi climed into bed, Honda accidentally leaned against the door enough to make it creak, jolting Otogi upright.

"What the hell?! Who...?!"

"I-I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I-I bumped into your door and..."

"It's ok, Honda! You just startled me a little... Honda?"

It was as if Honda were being controled by some outside force as he let himself into the room and straight for the bed.

"H-Honda? You ok?"

By this time, his eyes were with in inches of Otogi's.

Honda leaned in and forced a kiss into the wide eyed, and very confused, Otogi's mouth.

Otogi struggled at first, trying to push him off, but Honda was able to overpower him and force his hands down along his sides.

"H-Honda, I-I don't..."

"You did earlier." he said coldly, "You've never done this before, with a man I mean, have you?"

Otogi shook his head, keeping his fightened gaze fixed on Honda's serious glare.

"The key is to just relax." he said smoothly as he continued his way down, easily slipping Otogi's boxers off.

"Honda! Stop! I-I can't! I didn't mean...!" he begged frantically.

Honda ignored him. He kept Otogi's hands pinned with one hand and took his cock with the other sending Otogi into a panic.

"Please, Honda! Don't...!" he struggled, "I like you, I do, I just can't do this! I'm not ready!" he cried.

"Is anyone ever really ready?"

"?!"

"Honestly, I'm telling you, just relax."

He let go of his hands knowing once he had his member in his mouth he wouldn't be struggling anymore.

He slowly wrapped his mouth around Otogi, sending a wave of pleasurable shocks through his body that frightened, yet also excited him.

Otogi couldn't speak. His head swam in the waves as Honda worked his tongue and lips up and down.

Honda could feel his jaws streatch as Otogi was ready to climax and began to work harder.

He gripped his cock and followed each motion with a stroke in the opposite direction, keeping every inch covered at all times.

Otogi bit back the urge to cry out as he thrust and kicked; part of him wanting to kick him off, the other trying to force back the orgasm so to enjoy it.

As he got closer, Honda used his free hand to massage his scrotum; the sensation was too much, yet Otogi was still able to fight it back.

Oh no you don't!, Honda thought as he moved from the scrotum to his hole, You are going to cum and like it!, he thrust a finger in, forcing Otogi to cry out.

"Honda! Y-yes! I-I'm... I'm cumming!" he warned, yet it was too late.

As his body convulsed, he foced himself to look as Honda finished him off.

"Y-You didn't... you didn't just...?!"

"Shush," he said, wipping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, "Why does it matter? You enjoyed yourself."

"I-I just..."

"Quiet." he said softly into his ear before flipping him onto his stomach.

"H-Honda, I-I'm scared..."

Again, Honda ignored him and began massaging his neck, back and shoulders.

"Like I said, the key is to relax."

"You... you're going to put me to sleep..."

"Can't have that yet," he stopped and followed his finger with his tongue lightly all down his spine to his ass.

Taking Otogi by surprise, he slid his tongue between his cheeks to generously moisten him.

Without a word, he lay his entier weight on top of him to keep him from fighting, and slid into the tight, virgin hole.

"G-gods, you're so tight!" he exclaimed in extacy.

Otogi, unable to move, grinded his teeth to fight back the tears that were becoming inevitable.

The harder he fought, the harder it became to hold back and he burst and cried out.

Honda was too close to stop, so kept pumping into him.

Like with Honda able to feel Otogi ready to cum, Otogi could feel Honda's cock begin to stretch him and he knew this was it.

The closer Honda got, the harder he pounded into him. All Otogi could do was cry, but he couldn't tell if it was because he was in pain, or if he was truely enjoying this.

"Ah! Here... I'm... AH!" Honda cried as he pulled out and released across Otogi's back.

Otogi lay still, having finally stopped crying, he was now in complete shock and unable move.

Honda collapsed next to him to catch his breath. When he looked over, Otogi's face was pale and soaked with sweat. His eyes blood shot and teary.

"O-Otogi?"

"..."

Honda rolled him over and scooped him into his arms.

"I-I... I did it..." he said weakly, "I-I finally got to be with you..."

Honda wasn't sure how to respond. He knew for sure he wasn't ready to jump into another relationship, not to mention Otogi's exsisting relationship with his best friend's sister.

Gods, what have I done?!

He stayed with Otogi til he was sure he was alseep and snuck back to his room.

He quickly began shoving his belongings into his bag.

Man, I can't stay here now! The hell am I going to go?!