Too Much

Chapter 11 – Confusion

After Kaiba hung up, his attitude became quite belligerent. In moments flat, Joey had a pillow underneath his head and a blanket draped over his body.

“Hey!” Kaiba yelled over Joey’s limp body. Seto’s deep blue eyes looked down into Joey’s glazed over, unfocused ones. Joey’s lack of response worried Seto further.

Joey was viewing the whole scene as if he were viewing through a window. He felt like it was an out of body experience. He saw Seto Kaiba, barking over his fallen form to the servants that have gravitated to his stricken self. Next thing he felt was soft pillows and warm blankets. Someone was talking soothingly over him. It was reassuring words that he would be okay, even though Joey felt like he was dying. The pressure on his chest was so strong Joey felt himself gasping for air and could only hear his quick, raged breathing.

He looked above him, seeing a blurry face that had nothing but utter concern in each and every one of their features. He kept talking to him, even though Joey wasn’t completely sure what he was saying. He felt reassuring rubs on his arms, which brought to his attention how cold he was, or at least how much he was shaking.

Joey wanted to run, to get away, anywhere, but he seemed to be stuck. He thrashed and fought but hands kept him steady, kept him real and there. He wanted to seep through the floor. To not be there. To be dead, or alive, or really never exist. But those hands kept him whole and present. Joey couldn’t concentrate on much, but the reassuring voice filled his head and continued telling him he would be alright and that’s what he relied on. He believed that voice, even though he didn’t know why but somehow he knew it was speaking the truth to him. Time went by incredibly fast for Joey in his confused state. It could have been minutes or hours for all he knew.

Kaiba’s doctor rushed in with his medical bag in hand. He kneeled next to the patient while opening his bag and immediately began to perform tests to determine Joey’s condition.

“Have you taken any drugs today?” a distracted, odd voice said above Joey.

It took a few moments for Joey to comprehend what the voice was saying. His face turned to innocent confusion. “No,” he moaned out.

Joey felt a sharp prick to his finger as his blood sugar was being taken and multiple other obstructions to his body. Every passing second he seemed to be calming down, feeling better than the moment before. His eyes were able to focus on a boy who was kneeling over him, opposite to the doctor. The one with the blue eyes and brown hair. He wore the most peculiar expression on his face. One of deep concern mixed with an attempt at disregard.

Joey was feeling marginally better by now. His whole body felt like he were spinning but his mind was back under control. He slowly sat up and saw the multitude of people who were just watching him.

Nobody attempted to hold him down, they just stared at him. The doctor stopped his medical examination and asked, “How are you feeling now?”

“Fine,” Joey answered in a weak voice, a little unsure of himself.

“Why don’t you just relax for a few minutes then?” The doctor responded kindly.

He stood up and made a gesture with his arm to Seto to follow him to the next room. Kaiba obeyed while making a final command to the nearby servants.

“Watch him,” he said in a low voice.

When they had entered the front entrance, the doctor turned on Kaiba.

“It looks to me as if your guest had suffered from a panic attack. Many of the symptoms add up. The chest pains, anxiety, escape attempts. Also all his vitals turned out normal, minus the elevated heart rate, but that’s another contributing symptom. The attacks also don’t typically last that long and it seems like he’s recovering quickly.” The doctor delivered this information quickly, before continuing.

“Was your guest being subjected to anything traumatic before it happened?”

Kaiba thought of their conversation before Joey collapsed. All they were talking about was the worst parts of Joey’s life.

Kaiba just gave a quick nod, not feeling it necessary to go into detail and definitely not letting himself think that it was possibly his fault.

“Are there any other factors you can think of that would contribute to his condition? You said over the phone it may be drug related. Do you know the sort of drugs he usually takes?”

“Last night he took a surplus amount of Lorazepam…”

The doctor just gave a small smile and nodded. “Yes, drugs from the benzodiazepine group cause sedation, making the taker calm down, but if they withdrawal from this drug, anxiety is a common side effect which can lead to panic attacks.”

“So what now?”

“I believe your guest will be just fine, but I can take him into the lab and get more tests done if you would prefer.”

“No, but thank you,” Kaiba said quickly, embarrassed at his over reaction to Joey’s attack.

The doctor, detecting the embarrassment in Kaiba, replied, “It was good of you to call me, panic attacks are serious business. You did the right thing.”

Kaiba was no longer interested in the conversation, only making a small grunt in reply. The worried face he wore before had turned back to his regular scowl. The doctor just gave him a small pat on the shoulder and re-entered the dining hall to tell Joey he was going to be alright before making his leave.

Kaiba stood there motionless feeling angry at himself. He walked back grudgingly to the dining hall to find the blond sitting in the same position, head in his knees. Kaiba walked past him into the next room. Joey only vaguely noticed Kaiba’s presence until he returned with a laundry basket containing his clothes, freshly cleaned and ironed.

Kaiba roughly threw the basket at Joey’s feet. “Get dressed and get out.”

Kaiba turned around, prepared to make his leave. Joey was shocked by the return of Kaiba’s cruel demeanor for a moment before speaking.

“But what about my…” Joey started before trailing off in a small voice.

Kaiba, understanding what he was going to say, pulled Joey’s pill bottle out of his pocket and whipped it into the laundry basket which bounced off of Joey’s clothing and went rolling onto the floor.

“Kill yourself for all I care.”

His voice was low but exceedingly disgusted. He still didn’t understand.

Kaiba turned around once more and exited the room. Joey stayed planted on the floor for a moment, a shocked and almost hurt expression on his face before he sprung up with new found energy and chased after him.

“Now wait just a second!” Joey called after him. He followed him up to the landing and down one of the many hallways, Kaiba still refusing to turn around.

“Hey!” he called again, causing Kaiba to swiftly turn around. “Do I have to call security on you? A while ago you were more than anxious to leave so why don’t you take your leave.”

Joey didn’t know why he wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of leaving. Maybe he felt some questions of his own needed to be answered. Things just didn’t add up.

“What’s goin’ on here? Why did you actually help me last night? How did ya know where I would be?”

Joey began spouting off questions seeing as he didn’t think Kaiba was going to simply let him ask.

Kaiba peered around at the slew of curious servants who were intently listening to their conversation. He turned his angry face towards Joey. “Would you shut up!” he said through gritted teeth as his eyes shifted to peer behind the blonde. Kaiba’s expression suddenly calmed down as a firm hand was placed on Joey’s shoulder, causing the boy to jump out of surprise. The burly bodyguard who was present downstairs had appeared on the scene. Joey turned back to Kaiba whose features remained in a state of discontent.

“You fuckin’ coward!” Joey yelled and began struggling against his restraints, “Why don’t ya fight your own battles?” Joey had become enraged that he was being dismissed like this when so much remained unanswered.

“Because I’ve already wasted enough time on you.” Seto’s voice was not cruel. He didn’t intend on it being an insult.

Joey stopped his fighting and turned away, not saying a word. He continued downstairs quickly with the bodyguard in tow, making sure he didn’t make any rash actions. He entered the dining hall and scooped up his medication roughly, while picking up his clothing and headed towards the next room which appeared to be a small storage room. Joey turned sharply to the bodyguard who was still following him.

“Do you mind?” He snarled while gesturing to his clothing. Joey didn’t wait for an answer before slamming the door in his face and proceeded to dress as fast as he could into yesterday’s outfit. If he was wasting Kaiba’s precious time, then he would leave, seeing as he was so unwanted. He was relieved to find that all of the belongings he had stashed in the pockets remained there. He whipped open the door and stomped towards the exit. The same servant that had greeted him that morning appeared nervously at his side. “Mr. Kaiba has requested that you are to receive a ride home from our shuttle services.”

Joey stopped with his hand placed on the door knob; he turned to the servant, a scowl present.

“Mr. Kaiba can’t request shit when it comes ta me.”

Joey opened the door and slammed it as hard as he could manage.

Kaiba snapped back to reality when he heard the door slam from his home office where he was now located. He pushed his swivel chair to the window and watched Joey leave. For some reason he didn’t want him to go but he couldn’t face him a second longer after how he had behaved when Joey collapsed. He was infuriated by the way he acted. It was as if he cared. He let his emotions get the best of him. It made him feel weak, pathetic, ordinary. He couldn’t have that.

He was far angrier with himself than he was at the mutt. Kaiba sighed as he walked briskly to a cabinet on the wall and drew out a bottle of expensive brandy, while procuring a glass. He poured himself a generous portion before returning to his chair and leaning back, trying to clear his head. He usually saved this for meetings with his top associates or after he successfully launched a project, but he felt it necessary now.

He took a swallow of the amber liquor that burned its way down his throat as he continued to watch as Joey left his property, making him feel a little uneasy. He couldn’t manipulate him anymore, and that frightened him. Especially because he gave him back his drugs. He regretted that moments after he had done it, but there was nothing he could do now. He took another large swallow, squeezing his eyes shut and appreciating the strong flavour that engulfed his senses, letting the effects of the alcohol wash over him that caused his worries to ease a little.

As Joey left the Kaiba’s property, he thrust his hand into his jacket clasped his hand around the object of his desire. He drew it out and popped open the lid to his medication. He brought the bottle to his mouth and hastily dumped some in before putting them back in his pocket. He swallowed them all at once, feeling their jagged edges cut their way down his throat and make their painful way down his esophagus. He didn’t care that he was out in public and he may be seen; all he cared about was feeling something other than the anger and confusion directed towards Kaiba. Joey should have been worried about his health, seeing as he had put his body through a lot in the last while, but he wasn’t.

Joey couldn’t stop thinking about how much he loathed Kaiba as he quickly made his way home. He was far angrier at him then he had ever been before during any of their fights. The difference between then and now is that his actions confused Joey. Before the insults and the fist fights made sense seeing as they naturally hated each other. But this time he tried to help him and then almost showed the pretence of caring, before taking it all away and returning to his hateful self. Joey just couldn’t make sense of it.

It felt like days had gone by since he had been standing on that street corner, prepared to commit theft, when really it hadn’t even been a day but so much had happened between then and now. What bothered him the most was what he had disclosed to Kaiba. Nobody knew even half that much about him. He betrayed himself by telling Kaiba all those things. He made the decision. Confide in Kaiba or go to jail.

He should have chosen jail.

He dreaded what would happen next and the thought of facing him at school. That reminded him, he was missing school. He walked past a large clock tower and observed the hands, determining it was past three.

When he slipped into his apartment, his father was nowhere in sight. He really didn’t care. He started feeling the affects of the drugs by that point and they took precedence. The strange sensation of his head becoming light and vision becoming blurred. These tell-tale signs were just the beginning of the sensations he knew were to come. He stormed into his bedroom and grabbed the cheap whiskey bottle out of his closet.

“This is for you, Kaiba!” He said snottily before taking a large swallow, causing him to scrunch his face and grunt at the awful taste. If Kaiba was so “concerned” about him abusing drugs than he was going to over do it, just out of spite. He didn’t know why Kaiba’s words bothered him so much, but they did.

“I don’t care!” Joey kept repeating angrily, trying to convince himself. The inner turmoil that was disturbing him so was causing him to become quite vocal with his discontent. The unfortunate truth was that he really did care a lot.

Joey knew he was being stupid and over reacting, his temper was getting the best of him but it was the only thing he had. He didn’t have anything to hold over Kaiba, but for some reason he seemed to care about Joey’s drug abuse, so he was going to abuse just to have something against him. It was the one thing he had control over. He took another swig as he sat on his bed, brooding about Kaiba and waiting for the effects to hit him.

He let himself smile as he began to feel better. He laid back and rubbed his hands over his irritated face, which felt distinctly odd. The euphoria from the meds was making him feel much better but he still didn’t understand. Why would Kaiba behave as he did. Kaiba hated him so why would he go out of his way to help him. And why the hell was he suddenly so concerned about his health after Joey had collapsed.

Kaiba owed him an explanation.

Joey hated not being in control and ever since the fiasco that started the night before, Kaiba had been in control of everything. Joey never had a choice. But he was in control now. He could do whatever he liked, and he was exercising that ability.

Joey was particularly irritated about how Kaiba could just dismiss him like that. Nobody controlled him.

An idea suddenly begun to form in his mind. He picked himself off of his bed and stumbled to the door. He wouldn’t be told what to do, especially by Kaiba.

Joey was heading towards the door before he suddenly had a thought. He swaggered to the warm fridge and grabbed one of his father’s beers. He needed something to drink on his walk. He was feeling good and the last thing he wanted was to become sober again. It was a common fear he develops once he had started drinking. He stammered back to the door but before he reached it his father came stumbling over the threshold.

He looked up at Joey and smiled, “Hey, I know you!” he yelled way too loud, clearly drunk once again. “Nice choice,” he said, gesturing to the beer in Joey’s hand before stumbling past him into the kitchen.

Joey ignored his inebriated father and walked slowly out of the door, concentrating hard on his current mission. He began the walk back towards Kaiba’s, determined to get some answers out of him before the night was through.

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Okay, this is the edited version of this chapter seeing as it was rough before and I didn’t feel right leaving it like that!