Kaiba's New Assistant

A/N - Welp, I'm finally getting around to posting my next story. I actually started this one as practice for NaNo 09, but only finished the first draft last summer. I've been sitting on it since then because I needed to get a little distance from it before I started on the editing process and, of course, I always have that lack of confidence thing going on.

Also, despite sitting on it for all that time, I still couldn't think of a better title. I might still change it if I do think of something better.

Hey, this story may not be perfect, but I had fun writing it and that's what really matters. ^_^

Extra note -  This story has a small crossover with Father Ted. Yeah, I have Mrs. Doyle as Kaiba's housekeeper.

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Jonouchi Katsuya cursed as he ran into the school building. He was late, not by a huge amount but it would be enough to get him detention - again - and that was something he really could not afford right now. He reached his locker in record time, then as he was struggling to get his books together, he felt a presence behind him. With a feeling of dread he whirled around and looked up into the cold blue eyes of Kaiba Seto. Jou tensed for whatever Kaiba was going to throw at him this morning as from the look on his face he was spoiling for a fight. However, this time Jou was determined that he wasn't going to let Kaiba get the better of him.

"I should have known that a dog couldn't be on time," Kaiba sneered.

"Dammit I am not a dog, Kaiba," Jou snarled, then added quickly, "Besides, aren't you late too? That makes you no better than me."

"Don't even go there, Mutt," Kaiba growled, expression darkening dangerously.

Jou heard the warning in Kaiba's tone, but carried on regardless. "So if you're no better than me and I'm a dog, what does that make you, Kaiba? A bitch?" Jou chuckled, "Heh, thinking on it you sure do like to bitch a lot, don't you?"

As the last word left his mouth, Jou found himself smashed back against the locker. He looked up defiantly at the cold gaze piercing him. "What did you call me, Mutt?" Kaiba snarled into his face. That had been a touch closer to the truth than Kaiba would like to admit and predictably, he'd reacted badly.

Jou really wasn't in the mood to stand for Kaiba's attitude as his morning had been bad enough already, what with his father being an ass, his alarm clock not working thus making him late and now Kaiba was doing his best to push his buttons. For once he did not hold back and used all his strength to reverse their positions, smashing Kaiba's back against the lockers and staring upwards into those deep blue eyes. "I called you a bitch," he growled at the shocked looking Kaiba. "What's the matter? Worried it might actually be true?"

"In your dreams, Mutt," Kaiba managed to choke out, but he didn't sound very convincing. To Jou's surprise, he realised that Kaiba was being strangely quiescent and wasn't trying to push him off so he looked at the tall CEO with some curiosity. Damn, the guy may be handsome and Jou may even admit that he had somewhat of a crush on the icy brunet, but Kaiba's obvious hatred of him had stopped Jou from even entertaining the thought that he could ever be interested. However, Kaiba's current attitude had him wondering if he could have possibly been wrong. Even as these thoughts flashed through his mind, something in Kaiba's eyes called out to him, taking his breath away. Then, before he even had time to think about what he was doing, he'd reached up and pulled the strangely unresisting Kaiba down into a kiss.

The kiss was short, but intense and Jou thought that even if Kaiba were to kill him right now it would be worth it. He felt Kaiba shift against him and he realised that Kaiba was hard – and so was he. This realisation shocked Jou back to his senses and he pulled away, hoping that Kaiba wouldn't kill him too much.

"Oh God, puppy..." Kaiba breathed as Jou stepped back, but he was to be shocked out of his daze as Jou saw red and slammed him back into the lockers again.

"What the hell is it with you and calling me a dog, Kaiba?" Jou snarled as he glared up into Kaiba's face.

Kaiba looked at Jou in shock for a moment. Didn't he get it by now? "Dammit Jonouchi, I didn't mean..." he began to speak, but before he could even begin to explain he was rudely interrupted.

"Kaiba, Jonouchi!" a voice came from behind them, "Get to my office. Now!"

Jou slowly released Kaiba and looked behind him. Sure enough, it was the principal. As the man turned away sharply and headed for said office, obviously expecting the two boys to follow him without question, Jou began to feel faint and he started shaking. If the principal had seen what had just occurred between him and Kaiba then this could be very, very bad.

Kaiba looked at Jou with some concern. He didn't think he'd ever seen anyone go that pale before and he wondered momentarily if Jou was going to faint. He put his hand on the other's shoulder. "Jonouchi..."

Jou jumped and regained a little colour, although not much. "Better go and get this over with," he said under his breath. He set his mouth into a grim line and started towards the Principal's office as if he were heading towards his execution, leaving a doubly confused Kaiba to follow in his wake.

When they entered the Principal's office, the man was already sat in the chair behind his desk. He waited until the door was closed and they were both standing uncomfortably in front of him before he began. "So, let me get this straight. Not only were you two late this morning, but you also started fighting. Again." He paused. "Do you have an explanation for this?" He held up a hand before either of them could reply. "On second thoughts, don't bother. I would almost expect this of you Jonouchi, even though you have made more of an effort just lately, but you Kaiba, I really did expect more of. Let me think for a moment..."

The principal was quiet for several moments, obviously thinking about something and leaving Jou and Kaiba uncomfortably wondering what kind of punishment he would inflict on them. Kaiba looked at Jou noting that as the principal had mentioned fighting his colour had returned somewhat and he'd visibly relaxed. Interesting. He would have to ask Jou about that later on. His attention was brought back to the principal as the man began to speak again.

"Right," the principal said, "this is what we are going to do. Now in normal circumstances I would either give you detention or suspend the pair of you for at least the rest of the day, but seeing as you are in your final year and I have a little more latitude as to how to deal with this I'm going to take a different approach." He eyed the pair of teens carefully as he spoke. "I am going to send you out of school for the day, but it is not a suspension. No, this is going to be classed as a special project just for the two of you. You will spend the rest of the day together and you will do your best to learn to get along." He opened a drawer in his desk and brought out a pair of passes. "You can spend the day however you like, as long as you spend it together. I don't expect a written report, but I do expect to see you getting along better from now on. Any questions?"

"Yeah, I got one," Jonouchi said, "Are you going to send a letter home to my dad about this?"

"Considering that it's not a suspension this time, then no, as long as you see today through and I see some results. And Mr. Kaiba, I'm sure you don't want a letter going to your case worker do you?"

"No, Sir," Kaiba said. He knew that a black mark on his record could be bad for him when it came to keeping custody of Mokuba. Not that it should have been an issue considering that the high court had granted him custody, but the social services in Domino were quite prone to sticking their noses in despite this.

"Well, then, I think that will be all." The principal gave the passes to Kaiba, then motioned for them to leave. "Return those passes to me first thing tomorrow morning and don't kill each other." He added in a light-hearted voice as they left.

The two boys were silent as they exited the principal's office together. Neither one seemed to want to break the silence, but eventually Kaiba sighed, picked up his phone and called his limo back to school. Once he received confirmation that the driver was on his way back, Kaiba turned to Jou "Come on then," he said.

"Where we goin'?" Jou asked guardedly. He wouldn't put it past Kaiba to go straight to Kaiba Corp and leave him to get bored as he worked all day.

"I thought that we could go back to my home for the rest of the day," Kaiba explained as they walked down the corridor towards the exit. He held his hand up as Jou was about to say something else. "We can talk in the car."

Jou nodded and followed Kaiba as they exited the school. Once they were in the limo and on the way back to the mansion, Seto decided to ask Jou a couple of questions. "So, what was that all about back there."

Jou looked up at Kaiba defiantly, with a glint in his eye that made a frisson go down his spine. "I decided I wanted to kiss ya and I thought that even if you killed me it would be worth it."

"Well, I didn't kill you," he said softly, "and I'm not going to, puppy."

Jou let out a growl, "And there you go with the dog insults again. Where do you..."

"Jonouchi!" Seto interrupted before he could get too riled up.

"So you DO know my name," Jou said.

"Of course I do," Seto snorted, "Don't you realise that Puppy is more of a pet name? You are loyal, affectionate and you have a bite when you need to."

Jou was slightly taken aback by this, but supposed that it was just another shock to add on top of all the others that morning. "You mean that, Kaiba?" he asked, still slightly unsure of the other's motives.

"Every word, puppy," Seto said with a small, but genuine smile. Jou bristled a little, but then settled when he realised that Kaiba was just teasing him.

Seto suppressed the smile. He didn't want to upset Jou, not as things seemed to be going well between them but he had one more question he needed an answer to. "And what was all that about after the principal caught us 'fighting'? You went so pale that I thought you were going to pass out."

Jou did look a little uncomfortable at this. "Well, let's just say that no matter what you might possibly lose if you were caught kissing another boy, I'd probably lose more. A lot more."

Seto blinked at Jounouchi in shock. How could he possibly have more to lose than he himself did? "In your dreams, Mutt," he snarled as he iced up, making Jou visibly bristle in response, "Worst case scenario? I could lose custody of Mokuba and as things stand, even my position as CEO of Kaiba Corporation. So don't you dare to try and tell me that you could possibly have more to lose than I could."

Jou sighed and subsided. Yep, he did have quite a lot to lose, but Kaiba didn't seem to understand what it was that he was getting at and he wasn't about to come right out and say it. He was sure that Kaiba would work it out eventually though. He sighed again before he spoke. "It really wouldn't work out, would it?"

Seto deflated at the defeat in Jou's voice. "No, I suppose not, but for the record that really would be a worst case scenario. The reality probably wouldn't be anything like that bad, but still..."

"Yeah, I get you," Jou said, "but hey, can we at least call a truce? I really don't want to go back to fighting all the time and I'm really tired of getting into trouble for it too."

Seto was silent for a moment as he thought about it. "I suppose that I can agree to that, but won't your friends ask questions if we aren't at each other's throats all the time?"

"It's ok, I can handle that," Jou said with a grin. "I'll tell them that the principal caught us fighting and we had to spend the day together where we worked through some of our differences. It's only the truth after all." He suddenly paused as he finished that sentence then looked at Kaiba like he expected the rug to be pulled out from under him. "So when do you say 'ha, gotcha, only joking' and start calling me a mutt again?" He had a haunted look about him as he said this, as if he'd had his hopes dashed on more than one occasion.

In that moment, Seto realised his past actions may have damaged any trust that Jou might want to have for him, so he caught Jou's eyes with an intense look of his own. "I promise you that I won't do that, Jonouchi." He said in a low tone and there was such sincerity in his voice that Jou couldn't help but believe him even against any instinct telling him otherwise.

"OK, Kaiba. Sorry for doubting you," Jou said, giving a wan smile.

Kaiba realised that Jou still had a way to go before he could trust him fully and who could blame him. "It's OK pup. I wouldn't trust me either." Both boys grinned at that and another piece of the ice was broken.

Before anything else could be said, they pulled up at Kaiba's mansion and the driver came around and opened the door. Seto and Jou both got out and Jou couldn't help but whistle in appreciation at the view of the grand house. "Nice pad you have here Kaiba," Jou said as they started towards the entrance.

"You haven't seen anything yet," Kaiba said, "just wait until you see the inside."

"I seriously doubt that it could impress me any more than this," Jou said, then he changed the subject. "So what are we going to do for the rest of the day?"

Seto held the door open for Jou. "Well, I do have to head into Kaiba Corporation later on," he replied, "but for the moment I thought we could just hang out and maybe watch some TV?"

"You're kidding, right?" Jou said in amazement as they walked through the hallway. "Does the mighty Kaiba Seto really do such mundane things as hang out and watch TV?"

Seto looked a little downcast and sighed. "You don't have to remind me..."

"Sorry Kaiba," Jou said a little contritely. He guessed it wasn't all Kaiba's fault that he didn't have any friends to hang out with other than his brother. It must be quite hard to tell the genuine article from the suck ups and those that wanted to take him for as much as they could. "It's kinda hard to get out of the habit of needling you, ya know?"

"That's OK, pup, I understand." Seto said. "When practically all we've known of each other is fighting, it's hard to stop just like that." They entered the kitchen together. "Would you like something to eat?" he asked.

Jou's stomach growled and he looked a little embarrassed. "Nothing fancy," he said, "Just a sandwich will be fine."

Knowing what Jou's appetite was like, Seto instructed what Jou assumed was his cook, in English Jou noted, to make a plate of Chicken sandwiches then led him into the lounge. Jou's eyes went large and round as he took in the plush furniture, large flat-screen TV, DVD player and games consoles against the wall. For once in his life he was totally speechless.

Kaiba looked on in amusement. "I told you you'd like it better inside." He said with a low chuckle.

Jou had to do a spit take. Did Kaiba realise what he'd just said? Did he even know what a double entendre was? Looking at his face it was hard to tell. But then it was always difficult to tell what Kaiba was thinking. He cleared his throat and gestured towards the games consoles. "Is it alright if we play around for a while? I promise not to be too hard on you." If Kaiba noticed the potential double meanings he showed no outward sign of it. Jou mentally shook his head. The other boy was totally clueless. Ah well, he was sure that he could educate him later.

"What do you mean you won't go hard on me?" Kaiba almost bellowed in response to the challenge, "I'll show you who needs things to be taken easy on them!"

With that the two boys lost track of time playing various video games while Jou started making his way through the mountain of sandwiches that Mrs Doyle, as she had been introduced to Jou, had made for them.

"Hey Kaiba?" Jou said.

"What is it Jonouchi?" Kaiba replied.

"Your cook is a bit weird. What's up with that?"

"Well, she's not really the cook, more of a housekeeper. It's the cook's day off today."

"She's still weird though. Where on earth did you get her from?"

"I believe that Gozaburo won her in a card game not long after he adopted Mokuba and myself."

"Duel Monsters?" Jou asked, intrigued.

"No, I believe it was a game of Poker," Kaiba explained. "She was used as collateral for the debts of the losing party, but that was years ago and there is no sign of the money ever being repaid. She seems happy enough here though, even if she is a little... eccentric."

"Well I like her," Jou said. "I noticed that you spoke to her in English. Where does she come from?"

"I think I recall that she comes from somewhere in Ireland where she was the housekeeper for some priests..."

Jou made a *snerk* sound and nearly choked on his sandwich.

"What is it?" Seto asked.

"Nothing, priest," Jou said in his worst imitation of Yami Bakura and dissolved into a heap of giggling laughter.

Seto *humphed* and reached for a sandwich. Jou had to know that he didn't like to think about his past life that much, but even he had to admit, to himself at least, that it was strangely coincidental. To take his mind off it he bit into the sandwich and almost choked. "What the hell is this?" he exclaimed.

"It's an egg and cress sandwich," Jou replied in all seriousness as he reached for another.

"But I hate egg and cress sandwiches," Seto said. "I told her to make chicken sandwiches!"

"Well, they are kind of chicken sandwiches..." Jou mused.

"How on earth could this possibly be a chicken sandwich," Seto demanded incredulously.

"Ok, it's a potential chicken sandwich. After all, if the egg hadn't ended up in that sandwich you're holding right now, it might well have been a chicken one day." Jou started laughing again at the dumbfounded look on Kaiba's face. He'd never seen Kaiba being so open with his emotions before and he found that he really liked it.

"I should really fire her..." Seto mused after a moment.

"Oh come on, she's not that bad," Jou defended her, "and she makes a mean pot of tea. Ryou would love her."

Seto sighed, "OK, seeing as you like her I won't fire her, not that she'd leave anyway, but in future we'll have to make the sandwiches."

Jou smiled at the thought of coming to Kaiba's mansion again. "Thanks Kaiba. You aren't really such a bad guy after all."

"Don't let it get out. My reputation is on the line here," Seto dead-panned.

"No worries, your secret is safe with me!" Jou gave him a mock salute as he reached for yet another sandwich.

Seto looked at Jonouchi as he continued to devour the sandwiches and cups of tea that Mrs Doyle brought and wondered what the hell he had let himself in for by letting Jonouchi into his life, but after a while he shook his head and rejoined Jonouchi in playing video games.

There would be plenty of time for him to figure it out later.

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A/N - Thanks for reading.

EDIT - Heh, forgot to add the WIP tag. ^_^''