schedule
May 25, 2005 at 12:00 AM
It is fluffy, but it's too quick. I can understand the lack of characterization due to the fact that these are pre-existing characters with set personalities.
HOwever, you need to set up somehow, how and why Yami's a psychopath. THe first hcapter was good but way to short to really pull someone in.
I look forward to reading more.
One tip though, space the dialogue. You don't want someone to not look at your fic just because the dialogues all squished together like that (which i have personally done many a time)
I almost didn't want to keep reading yours, but, I decided to read and help instead! ^w^ we can always use more great authors here on aff.
HOwever, you need to set up somehow, how and why Yami's a psychopath. THe first hcapter was good but way to short to really pull someone in.
I look forward to reading more.
One tip though, space the dialogue. You don't want someone to not look at your fic just because the dialogues all squished together like that (which i have personally done many a time)
I almost didn't want to keep reading yours, but, I decided to read and help instead! ^w^ we can always use more great authors here on aff.
schedule
May 23, 2005 at 12:00 AM
nooooooo
wots yami goin 2 do?
update soon!!!
wots yami goin 2 do?
update soon!!!
schedule
May 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
busted! Don't kill him Yami!
Great chapters, and this shaping up to be interesting.
Anyways, keep up the good work!
Great chapters, and this shaping up to be interesting.
Anyways, keep up the good work!
schedule
May 22, 2005 at 12:00 AM
uh oh great chapter update soon