Dirty Lil' Secret

I do not own Queensryche’s song “Dirty Lil’ Secret” and I don’t own Yugioh.


Dirty Lil’ Secret


Times have changed for the better
You like to say
Nice house in the country
Now you're on your way

Malik fell to the floor as his other half punched him in the jaw. His other half looked down at him with contempt.
“I hate you, Malik Ishtar. I hate for everything you stand for! You are pathetic! I am the stronger of us two! It’s hard to believe that something so strong, so determined, came from something so weak….so pathetic…”
Malik closed his eyes as he laid on the floor. ‘I don’t want to believe it….’
“You can deny my existence all you want, Malik Ishtar. It will do you no good to deny what you really, truly are deep inside and what has happened to you,” Marik said with a grin. “It’s not use talking to your pathetic ass.”
Malik shuddered as the front door to his home slammed shut.

You took advantage of our possibilities
Got your sights set far
No time for sympathy

Malik laid on the wooden floor, panting heavily and collecting his thoughts. He spent his childhood underground…now he was living in the light…the world that he always dreamed of.
But now, it was like he was thrust back down into the realm of darkness. The coldness of the tomb he felt every time Marik talked to him, every time Marik entered.
The Egyptian shuddered again as he thought of the darkness of the tomb.
‘I didn’t want to live in darkness….and now my life in the light is no much better. I’m not meant to be anywhere.”

Keeping up with the Jones's
Smiling at the neighbors
Don't let them see your...

Malik’s POV

I’m glad nobody knows what is going on between my yami and I.
I smile and laugh at Ryou’s jokes.
I go out with Joey sometimes to hang out at the park.
I try to find better cards from Yugi so I can one day defeat my other half.
Everyone thinks that everything is okay.
Little do they know the reality which lurks beneath the surface.

Dirty, Dirty Little Secret
Keep your hands over your eyes and
Maybe it will go away

I can’t ignore what created my other half.
I have tried to.
Pain. Despair. Hatred. Rage.
Loneliness.
Family.
It all contributed to the darkness that is me.
Those who do not know me, don’t know what has been done to me. They have no clue.
To them, I am an ordinary teenager, going to school, hanging out at the park.
I can’t blind myself anymore, though….
If I uncover my eyes, I’m afraid my darkness will be behind me still….
Waiting for me….

Dirty, Dirty little secret
Joe McCarthy is alive and well today

My yami is something I can’t hide from.
My darkness is something that will continue to stalk me.

When you face the mirror
Consider this
Why judge another when you've got
Your own shit to fix

I know that Ryou has a hard time with his yami. I want to help him. But….
How can I help him if I cannot help myself?
Why must I try to save him?
What if he doesn’t want to be saved?
What if he doesn’t need it?
What if he is content with it?
I feel pain that he has felt pain as I do.
What do you do when someone you care about has felt the same pain you do?
I have to take care of my own before I can take on other people’s burdens.
Ryou’s burdens are not mine.

There's no solution
good enough for everyone
And your interpretations don't work
In every situation

What do I do about him?
What can I do about Marik’s presence?
Everything I’ve thought of won’t work.
What happens when the darker side of you gets too much to control?
When it gets too strong?
Too violent?
Too dominant?

You side with your religion
With your interpretation
But don't let them see your...

I have read the ancient texts and have searched for answers.
The world is full of polarities.
Light and Dark.
Life and Death.
Heaven and Hell.
That is what my life is like….
Polarity.
Where do I find the balance?

Dirty, Dirty Little Secret

Marik….
What am I going to do?
I can’t hide from my darkness forever.
I have to come face to face with him.

It seems the most opinionated
Are the ones who hide their
Dirty, Dirty Little Secret
I'll be leaving the status quo behind

Most people try to deny the darkness inside them.
They try to believe it doesn’t exist.
I’m not like other people.
I’ve come to accept that years ago.

How can you know someone
Until you walk in their shoes?

My other half doesn’t know what it was like before he came into my life!
He has no idea what I went through when I was a child.
Nobody really knows my past and what I went through.
Some people know about my back being carved up like a piece of meat because of the Tombkeeper’s Initiation.
If I stand up to Marik, who can judge me?
At least I come face to face with my darkness…my evil

Our parents taught us segregation
Now we're singing the blues
The dynamic of America is progress for all
Well, can't hold us back we're right on the track

I stood up and took a deep breath.
I can do this if I just stand my ground.
Marik can’t kill me. If he does, he ceases to exist, too.

No wall is too tall
By the will of the people

This is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do…
Stand up to my other half.

We'll take a road to higher ground
And don't worry about that...

I’ve taken Marik’s abuse for too long.
It’s time to let him know that I won’t take him anymore.
I went outside and I found my other half smoking on the porch. He looked back at me with contempt. “It’s about time you stood up on your own two feet without me having to pick your ass up.”
“Marik, I have to talk to you.”
Marik blew out a ring of smoke. “What?” he asked annoyed.
“I’m not putting up with you anymore.”
Marik chuckled. “Oh yeah, and what are you going to do about it?”

Dirty, Dirty Little Secret
Everybody's got one

“I’m not afraid of you anymore.”
Marik laughed and threw his cigarette in the garden. “So what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m not going to put up with you anymore. I’m standing up to you here and now!”
“Are you TRYING to intimidate me? If you are, you suck at it.”
“You don’t know anything that I went through as a kid. I’m tired of you pushing me around and I’m done with it.”
“Are you going to go cry to your sister?”
“No, I’m done with you.”
“If you don’t like it, leave. I’m not changing. Just remember one thing, hikari….I am a part of you that you cannot deny. Running away will not solve the problem. I can always find you.”
I sighed. Marik was right.
He could always find me.
We are linked.
He is my Darkness.
There’s no where I can hide from him.
There’s just no way out.
“So are you going to leave or do I have to kick your ass to the curb again?”

So many you can pass them around
Dirty, Dirty Little Secret

I don’t know where I will go.
I can’t deny that Marik will always be here no matter what.
So many other people have their dark side.
My life if not going to be like anyone else’s.

I'll be leaving the status quo behind