Aegri Somnia

Title: Aeegri Somnia
Author: Gemini Elf 16


Author's Note:

This is a Seto and a (slight) Mokuba one shot! Please bear in mind that Mokuba is a little bit older in this fic. Um, I can't give you much of a summary. Just follow Seto as he goes through a night of absolute crappiness! And there's a slight suprise from Mokuba at the end! Everything in italics are Seto's thoughts. Oh, and the title of this fic, 'Aegri Somnia' means 'a sick man's dream' in Latin.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh! or the charecters in it. (Everyone's putting these thingys up. I might as well...)


"Aegri Somnia"

"Aww, fuck it!" Seto had just dropped a glass onto the kitchen floor, where it had smashed into tiny peices. I'll just let those stupid maids clear this crap up.

He reached for another glass, and poured himself another malt whiskey. Stepping over the broken mess, he wandered back into the spacious living room, and plopped down, onto the soft, expensive sofa.

"My life sucks". Seto gulped the strong liquid down, and carelessly slid the empty glass, across the coffee table. "Why me? Why am I the only, one who is so fucked up?"

The young president of Kaiba Corp, had been finding life hard recently and it was hardly suprising. Seto had gone through more pain and heartbreak, in just over ten years, than most people go through in a lifetime.

True, he was rich. He could buy anything he wanted, but all the money, all the expensive things he owned, had come at a price. It had cost Seto his tears, his blood, his very ability to feel anything good. It had cost him his innocence.

Now all the purity was gone, he was corrupted, and he sat there on the sofa, in semi darkness, a broken shell of a man. His once pure heart had been deeply perverted with hate and anger. It had been iced over, so nothing good could ever penetrate it's dark surface.

Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing seemed worthwhile. I should just die.

He didn't have any friends. It seemed as if everybody hated him. The only people who did talk to him were the people who worked for him...and only because they had to. Only because he was paying them.

Mokuba...True, he had his little brother...but how could he talk to Mokuba? How could he burden his one and only brother with such saddness and heartache. Mokuba was so young, so innocent. He didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to be corrupted at such a young age, as Seto had been.

There's nobody left. There's nothing left for me. How could he die? Mokuba would be left all alone. But it wasn't true, and Seto knew it. Mokuba would have Yugi and the gang. Mokuba would have Kaiba Corp, he would have the huge mansion...and all the money. Mokuba would be well provided for.

He and Mokuba were so very different. Mokuba was the sunshine...and he was the storm. Mokuba was an angel...and he was the demon. Mokuba was pure...and he was dirty. Mokuba was love...and he was hate.

How could they have ever been brothers?

God, thank you for blessing me with such an angel.

But even Mokuba wasn't enough to keep him whole.

Seto ran a slender hand through his hair and sighed. He thought back to a particular lesson at school, he'd had that day. It was an English class. They had been put into groups of four, and were instructed to write sonnets and read them out to each other within their group. He had been grouped with Yugi, Joey and Tristan.

Seto had seen their disappointment when they realised that he would be working with them, instead of Tea. Although he hadn't shown it, it had hurt him deeply. They had only spoken to him when they were forced to.

After having written his own sonnet, Seto had sat there, quietly, watching Joey reading his sonnet out to Tristan, all the while pretending he was madly in love with his friend. Tristan was pretending to be really angry and was threatening to throttle the blonde, if he heard "I love you, Tristy wisty" one more time. Yugi had spent the whole lesson giggling uncontrollably, at his friends' antics.

Unbeknown to the other three, Seto had sat there wishing he could just die. Watching the three friends have so much fun had hurt Seto immensly. Why couldn't he be like that? Why couldn't he be happy as they were? It wasn't fair.

If they had included him in their conversation, then Seto would have joined in. He so deperately wanted friends. He wouldn't have insulted them like he always did. He would have smiled. He would have joined in.

Seto growled, getting up off the sofa and walking back into the kitchen. But they didn't ask him. They had hardly said two words to him. It seemed as if Yugi had given up, trying to make friends with him.

And even Joey...Seto had loved arguing with the blonde, trying to get him angry as possible, but lately it seemed as if the blonde had decided that Seto wasn't worth the effort. So earlier that morning, when Seto had commented on Joey's puppy dog like looks, the blonde had simply ignored the CEO.

Damn them. They didn't ask! They didn't ask me!

Leaning on the kitchen counter, Seto tried to stop himself from trembling. Trembling from what he didn't know. Was he angry? No, he wasn't. He should have been, but he wasn't. It seemed as if all his rage had flowed out of him...and all he had left was heartache, bitterness...and an empty space. An empty space, where his heart should have been. An empty space where his hopes and dreams should have been. He had nothing good inside of him now. It was gone. It was all gone.

I don't blame them. They have every right to hate me.

It was a wonder that Mokuba didn't hate him. Mokuba was the only person he had left. He was the one thing that kept Seto going. He was the one shread of hope, that Seto had.

Ever since Gozuburo's death, Seto had swore to himself that he'd never let anything hurt Mokuba. He would do anything to protect his little brother, to keep him safe, to keep him innocent, to keep him sane. Seto wanted Mokuba to have everything that Seto didn't have. A normal childhood, friends, hopes, happiness...love.

Seto felt a pang in his heart, when he thought about love. Nobody would love him. How could they? Everybody thought that he was a cold hearted monster, who only cared about money and power. But that wasn't true. Seto knew that he had so much love to give...if only he could find someone that was willing to love him. Not his money or power, but just him. As a person.

"That will never happen." Seto sighed. "Nobody can love someone like...me."

A sudden flash of anger and disgust shone in his midnight blue eyes, as he spun around and glared out of the kitchen window. I'm nothing. I'm absolutely nothing. I don't deserve to be here. I don't deserve Mokuba. I'm not worthy.

Stalking over to a drawer, he pulled out a knife. It was large, and it certainly looked more than sharp enough to draw blood. The luminous light of the full moon shone in through the window, and fell onto the knife, that Seto was holding.

"Facilis descensus Averno". A voice whispered ominously, inside his head. "The descent into Hell is easy..."

He touched the edge of the knife gingerly, and ran his slender fingers down the blade. Almost immeadiately he felt a sharp sting, as blood flowed out of the freshly made cut. I shouldn't be living. I'll only cause more pain in doing so. Just more pain.

Rolling up the sleeve of his black shirt, he placed the edge of the blade delicately upon his right wrist. All he had to do, was cut his wrist, and then it would all be over. Finally he could rest. He could not hurt anymore. It was so simple...so very simple...

Mokuba...Would Mokuba hate him for doing this? For leaving him? For taking the easy way out? He realised that he needed Mokuba, just as much as Mokuba needed him, not as a provider, but as a brother.

"You can't keep him with you forever." That same small voice hissed again, inside his head. "You'll taint his innocence, just like Gozuburo tainted yours. You're dirty. All the darkness will flow from you to him. He'll end up just like you."

"Oh, God, no...Mokuba!" Seto cried, tears in his eyes as he pressed down upon his wrist a little more firmly. A small trickle of blood escaped his wrist. It hurt like Hell. It wouldn't kill him though, he hadn't cut his vein yet, and he hadn't pressed hard enough, for him to bleed to death.

Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw somebody standing there, watching him.Was it Mokuba? The knife clattered to the floor, as Seto spun around sharply, only to be met by...nothing. Nothing was there. Seto was alone. Mokuba was supposed to be fast asleep in bed. It was very late into the night.

Laughing nervously, Seto looked at the knife. The edge was slightly covered in Seto's blood, and it had stained the floor, where it had landed. Bending down to pick it back up, Seto froze as he heard a soft voice, singing behind him.

He turned around slowly, and his eyes widened, as he saw the angelic figure standing just a few yards away from him. It was a young woman, who seemed to be shimmering all over. She was wearing a flowing light pink gown. Her golden hair framed her soft features perfectly. Although she was beautiful, her dark eyes reflected great sorrow. She was crying. Seto realised that she was singing in latin, as her ethreal voice floated over to him.

She's crying for me. Seto realised. She knows that I'm about to die and she's crying for me.

Seto took a step towards her, and was suddenly overwhelmed by a strong maternal presence, raidiating off the elegant beauty. And it was then that he noticed her wings. She's an angel. She's come to take me away.

The angel stopped singing and smiled sadly at him, as she held out her arms. Seto slowly walked over to her and collapsed in her soft embrace. It wasn't like him to seek comfort in others, he always tried to be the strong one, in front of everybody, including Mokuba, but it was so good, it felt so good just to be held by someone. It felt so safe.

The angel ran her fingers through his hair, soothing him, just as a mother, who would comfort a child. And that's how Seto felt. He felt like a child again. Safe, free...innocent. She was washing it all away, he realised. All the darkness, all the sins...everything. She was cleansing him.Seto sighed, as he rested his head on her shoulder. Maybe she can save me?

Seto was about to speak to his saviour, when she pulled away from him. She smiled, cupping his face in both her hands, and kissing him softly upon his forehead. Seto stood there in shook, unable to believe, that a beautiful thing like her, could kiss someone like him. She turned around as if she was about to leave.

"No! Wait!" Seto reached out for her, but his hand only grasped air. She had disappered in front of his very eyes.

She was gone.

Seto looked around the empty kitchen in amazement. Once more, he was alone. In his darkest hour, when he was drowning in despair, she had come into his life, she had soothed and comforted him. She had been there for him, when no one else had.

He had been touched by an angel.

But she was gone now, leaving him feeling more lost then ever. More colder, more lonely, more afraid... His darkness was coming back, he could feel it, it was creeping back, tainting the blood again, in his veins. She had cleansed him, but she was gone now, and he couldn't stay pure without her.

He was dirty again.

Why did she have to go? Seto screamed in his mind. Was I not worthy of her?

Grabbing the knife, once more, Seto held it to his wrist, fully intending to slash it and end his life right there and then.

Mokuaba...

No matter how much he wanted to end his life, he knew that he couldn't do it. He couldn't leave Mokuba alone, in this world. No matter what. He would just have to get through it. He would have to find some way of dealing, with his heartache, his bitterness, his fears and his insecurities.

So, for the second time that night, the knife clattered to the floor. But this time, it remained there. Seto had no intention of picking it back up, he had no intention of ending his life and leaving Mokuba alone. If it hadn't been for Mokuba, then Seto would have killed himself long ago. Mokuba was all he had now. Mokuba was all he cared about.

I'll live...but only for Mokuba's sake. Seto slid down to the floor, shaking violently.

"I hate my life". Rocking himself to and fro, Seto tried hard, to not let his tears fall. Crying would do no good. He failed miserably, of course. I always do. I always fail. No matter how hard I try. I couldn't even kill myself.

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Up in his room, Mokuba could clearly hear Seto's anguished cries. The younger Kaiba brother, calmly walked over to the window, and smiled as Seto's broken sobs became more quieter.

"It won't be long now, dear brother". Mokuba spoke to himself, his voice deathly quiet. "The sooner you crack, and get put into a mental institution, the sooner I can take control of Kaiba Corp".

Mokuba let out a bitter laugh. I always knew you were crazy, Seto. After all those 'lessons' with Gozuburo, I knew you would break. Your raging insanity was inevitable.

The grey eyed teen, closed his hand around the locket that lay around this neck, the one that contained a picture of his brother, and in one swift movement, tore it off, and flung it across the room. It hit the wall, and slid down onto the floor, and there it remained. Untouched and unwanted.

"Seto". Mokuba growled, in a low voice. Just fucking die already.

The End.

Author's Note:

Damn it! I can't believe that I made Mokuba sound like that! And I can't believe that I made Seto suffer so bad! Poor Seto! Oh, and that 'angel' that Seto saw, wasn't real. The poor little lamb, was just imagining her, along with the voices inside his head.

Apparently Seto had lost the plot for some time now, all he was doing was living in his grief. He saw what he wanted to see. Some sort of salvation. A way out. Poor thing! Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Seto. My theory is; the more you love them, the more you should make them suffer!

Lol. Yeah, I know that's pretty sick. I'm totally into angst and I think that they are the best type of fics to be writing! Thanks for reading :-)