Control

Author:
Setosgirl

Pairings:
Mokuba x Seto

style='color:windowtext'>Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!. I don't own Seto. I
don't own anything, because I'm a communist ( ^^ )

Summary:
5^th in the series of Magnificent
Bastard, Painstyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>, Tearsstyle='mso-bidi-font-style:italic'>, and Strength. Mokuba reflects upon the nature of strength.

Words:
1,102

Rating:
R

~   *   ~   *   ~

It started because Seto was
stupid. Because he worked too hard and didn’t pay attention to himself like I
told him too. Because he got sick.

At first the doctors thought he
might be really sick – that it might have been cancer. They were wrong, of
course, just wanted to milk him for as much money as they could – but he was
really scared. And I couldn’t just let that happen. And it all happened because
he didn’t listen to me. So I took the problem out of his hands. He didn’t pay
attention to himself because he paid all of his attention to his work. So I
told him he couldn’t work anymore.

He resisted at first, but I
proved to him that he didn’t have to – I’m capable of doing it. He gave the
company to me when I told him to, and I’ve taken care of him. He doesn’t need
to do anything, now, except for what I say. He doesn’t need to worry about
anything; I take good care of him.

And he is such a weak little
bitch.

He barely resisted when I made
him stay in his room. When I changed his room. When I stopped letting the
servants or anyone else see him. When I took his TV and books… Why the hell
won’t he fight me anymore? I keep pushing, keep trying to make him tell me I’ve
gone too far – I want to see that fire. It’s just not there anymore.

He was so strong – he used to be.
Once upon a time. But he’s just not anymore. I don’t know what happened
to him – he was strong, until he gave up his control. So does that mean that
control is strength?

It is… I see that. I keep
learning. Seto, you’ve taught me so much. I don’t know how to pay him back,
except to try to teach him.

But he’s a lost cause. He can’t
learn any more – he’s broken. I don’t think he’s fixable. I took his control,
and I broke him, and the feeling of power that gives me! I don’t need
him any more, I really don’t. I was controlling him to be strong, and now I
don’t need to. I’m strong in my own right. See? Even with everything I do to
him, he gives me gifts like this.

Weak bitch.

He’s almost like a pet now. He
just sits there, does everything I tell him to. He lets me do so much to
him – and he’s grateful. I can see it in him. He’s grateful when I come to him,
when I pay attention to him. I don’t think I was ever that pitiful – was I? I
can’t have been.

I look at him now… I see his
pain, his blood. I see his tears. I see that I scare him, and that he loves me
– and I feel nothing for him. Vague disgust, maybe. How could he let this
happen for him? I beat him, make him bleed just for the hell of it. Or not just
for the hell of it – because he disgusts me. Sometimes I kind of hope I’ll
accidentally kill him… I don’t really want to kill him, but he’s boring, and
weak, and disgusting. But I feel a little responsible for him – like people do
for pets they don’t really like. He’s not even pretty anymore. There isn’t
enough clear skin on his body to be worth scarring. His blue eyes are just dull
and pathetic. He’s thin; I can feel every bone in his body, I think. Sometimes
I forget to feed him for a few days. He cries so easily – it’s because he
doesn’t have to keep his mask up around other people. And still, he’s grateful
when I come to him, show him attention.

I should just leave him there. I wonder if I tried to starve him
if he’d finally get his backbone back and try to fight back – try to get out or
something. I kind of wish he would. Maybe I should try it…

But I can’t. I can’t do something
like that to him. He might be a weak little pet… but he’s still my brother. He’s still my nii-sama. He still did
his best to protect me and give me everything I ever wanted, and I can’t just
forget that in the face of what he is now. He used to be strong, and just
because he’s lost all control now, I can’t hate him. Pity him, maybe, but I
can’t just kill him like that.

I’m just trying to protect him,
since he’s not strong enough to protect himself. He got all wrapped up in work
and made himself get sick, so now I keep him from work, so he doesn’t have
anything to concern him and make him get sick. And he just keeps getting
weaker, no matter what I try to do. So I have to keep taking more control from
him, to protect him.

I don’t need him anymore, though…
I wonder how long it’s been since I did. I’m so much stronger than him… maybe I
always have been, but I just never realized it. I can’t remember hearing him
ever deny me or not give me anything I wanted… does that mean I’ve always been
controlling him? Ever since I was a little kid? And if control is strength…

I’ve always been stronger than
him. I feel guilty, now that I know that, for letting him try to protect me.
But maybe that was part of it. I was small, so I controlled him into protecting
me. I don’t need him to do it anymore, though. I don’t need to control him to
prove that I’m strong. I don’t need to take out any anger on him, or hit him
for any reason except that he vaguely disgusts me. I don’t need him for
anything…

I wonder why that makes me so
sad. I feel nothing for him, after all. Nothing but pity and disgust. So… why
do I feel so bad? I want him, I want to need him – I just don’t. I wish he’d
just snap out of it and try to take his control back – prove that at least he wants
to be strong. But… it just seems like he doesn’t. He refuses to even try to be
strong. With a weak ass attitude like that – with a bitch attitude like that –
I have absolutely no use for him anymore.

I have total control, and I don’t
know what I’m going to do…