Catching Kaiba

Disclaimer: not even close to being my property.
Warnings: I’ll list them as I need them thank you.
Summary: The rules were set, the players were chosen, the game was about to start. Too bad Kaiba doesn’t know he’s playing.
Author’s note: There once was an author who realized it had been over nine months since she had last written a lemon. Fearing that she had lost a talent she never really had in the first place, she went about trying to get back in the habit of writing about beautiful boys doing the naughtiest of things. She worried that her muses would no longer provide her the necessary inspiration to bring her ideas to the page, but as she sat down to write she found that her fingers danced across the keys turning out .... HOLD IT!!! This isn’t some fucking fairytale. It’s smut. Pure, unadulterated, throw me down and screw me over a chair smut! Pretending there’s a plot hidden in here of any kind is simply criminal.


Marik made his way down the darkened stairway that would take him to the meeting. His violet eyes fell upon the thin bar of light spilling out from the small gap at the bottom of the tightly shut door, and the menacing Egyptian knew that he was running a little late. Anxious to find out what the game would have in store this month, he jumped over the last few steps and approached the door. Before he could even raise a fist to knock, it was pulled open and a smartly dressed Yugi Mutuo ushered him in. Apparently they’d been waiting on him.

Shutting and locking the door behind the final player to arrive, Yugi made his way to the front of the room. The sixteen year old who’s small height was deceptive stepped up to the podium he had placed there when the idea for this game had first occurred to him, and looked out at the faces of his friends.

Yami was leaning against the wall at the back of the room and, while he knew the former Pharaoh would never actually be mad at him, it was clear to Yugi at least that the spirit wasn’t happy about the target his partner had chosen this time. The crimson eyes caught his gaze, and Yugi gave him a half-reassuring/half-apologetic smile. He was confident in his choice regardless of what Yami thought.

Bakura had waved Marik over when he’d seen the muscular Egyptian walk in, and the two were now sitting in folding chairs almost directly in front of the podium anxiously awaiting the moment when Yugi would reveal the next target’s name. Those two were always looking for a little fresh blood in their sex lives; Bakura in the most literal of ways. Being among the original players, the thief and the dark Egyptian were quite skilled at the game. Still, even they would be challenged by his latest selection.

Jounouchi and Honda were seated on the floor with a large bowl of chips between them. Yugi couldn’t recall putting out snacks or refreshments of any kind, and he realized they must have brought the food themselves. Typical. Still, Jounouchi had been the game’s first target all those months ago, and since then he had been perfecting his art. He’d really given Yami, the king of all games including this one, a run for his money when Malik had been chosen as last month’s target. The audio tapes he had provided of what he’d done to the blond Egyptian were a masterpiece. Yugi could feel the arousal stir within him as he remembered hearing those tantalizing moans and pleas for more without any visual accompaniment. It left the mind to wander, and wander it did. The group could only imagine what the resident blond puppy had done to Malik to elicit such sounds from him.

Speaking of Malik, the latest member of their little game was seated on the couch playing with one of his gold bracelets. This month would be the first time he would actually be playing, and he wasn’t really sure what to expect. Being the target had been an unforgettable experience, but he was excited to try out this other side of the game as well. What shocked him most of all though, was seeing that it really was Yugi who was behind all of this.

He’d honestly thought Marik was joking when his darker side had explained the game to him. He’d said the short duelist had approached him a few months ago with an offer he couldn’t refuse. Malik had thought the other boy had just gotten confused about which spiky-haired champion he’d been talking to at the time, but with Yugi standing up at that podium looking out at them he quickly realized that it was indeed the lighter side that was in charge here. Strangely though, Marik had told him Yugi acted only as a judge, and never played the game himself. Naturally curious, the blond had to wonder why that was.

“Since you’re all here now, we can go ahead and get started.” Everyone’s attention was instantly captivated by Yugi’s promising first sentence. Yami very noticeably crossed his arms over his chest and refused to look at his friend and partner.

“The rules haven’t changed from last time. You will go in turns, starting this month with Honda and proceeding onward in the order I’ve selected. You will be asked to provide proof of your encounter, and I’m sorry Bakura but I can’t accept any more vials of blood.” The white-haired thief looked like he was going to protest, but Marik’s hand on his knee silenced him. “You cannot tell the target what is going on, nor may you reveal the names of the other players. If you fail to seduce them after three tries, you must forfeit your turn and send in the next player.”

Jounouchi listened carefully to the rules he knew by heart. So far there had never been any unsuccessful seductions, but there had been a few close calls in the past. He himself had been more then a little hesitant to sleep with Bakura and it had taken the spirit of the ring doing a wonderful impression of his gentle host before Jounouchi had finally given in. Of course it was hard not to realize it was actually Bakura once he found himself tied to his own bed with a vibrator shoved up his ass.

“As far as judging,” Yugi continued. “You will be scored on creativity, difficulty, and the evidence you can provide. Remember, the more it tells me about your encounter the more points I can give you.”

“So who’s this month’s target?” Bakura had never been one for rules, and these endless explanations were boring him. He just wanted to know who he’d be screwing this time.

“I was just getting to that,” Yugi explained with a smile. Looking in his eyes though it was clear he was annoyed with Bakura’s interruption. Perhaps he should teach the thief some manners later.

The small boy stepped down from the podium and began handing out index cards to each of the players. The cards each had a number on them, and it represented the order in which they would take their turns. When he had placed the last card in Yami’s hand, he made his way back up to the podium.

“This month’s target is,” he paused cruelly for dramatic effect. “Kaiba.”

The reactions were immediate.

“Oh fuck yeah.” That was Marik.

“Now there’s a challenge,” Honda mused aloud.

Bakura was grinning like the crazed psychopath that he was, but this time there were clear markings of lust in his dark brown eyes. He wouldn’t mind having a go at this latest incarnation of the Pharaoh’s favorite priest.

The only not so favorable reactions came from Jounouchi and Yami. The spirit of the puzzle had crumpled up his index card in a tightly clenched fist, and he looked like he was about to walk out of the room. Jounouchi had dropped his head into his hands and was bemoaning the fact that he didn’t stand a chance this month.

“Kaiba won’t let me get anywhere near him, let alone let me touch him.”

“Well then,” Yugi said, turning to look at his best friend. “You’ll just have to convince him.” He smiled softly and Jounouchi couldn’t help but cheer up a little.

“That’s right,” Honda added. “Think of all the difficulty points you’ll get once you succeed. No one here faces as big a challenge as you do.”

The thought of getting enough points to win this time was just the incentive the blond needed. No way was he going to let Kaiba escape him.

Having said everything he wanted to say, Yugi moved to open the door.

“Have fun, play fair, and be safe,” he told them as they made their way back upstairs. If only his grandfather knew what he was using the game shop’s basement room for.

When the last of his guests had left, Yugi turned to the menacing figure of his yami. If he wasn’t mistaken, the former Pharaoh was about to give him a lecture.

“I’ve never tried to tell you what to do aibou, but I hope you know what your doing this time.” Yugi couldn’t help but notice Yami’s voice lacked it’s usual warmth.

“Don’t worry,” Yugi responded. “There’s no reason to think that they’d hurt him.” He knew he was addressing the core of the duelist’s concerns.

“Let’s hope they don’t.”

Yami didn’t say anything else. He just turned around and headed up to the room he’d been given as his own. Yugi hated to see his friend upset, but there wasn’t much he could do. The game had already started. Besides, he knew the former Pharaoh wouldn’t be complaining once was it was his turn to take on the gorgeous CEO. Yami just didn’t like the idea of other’s touching what had belonged to him three thousand years ago. This was a new lifetime, and his other half was just going to have to get over it.


More Author’s Notes: ACK! Did anyone else see that plot that tried to sneak in there? Me and my silly prideshipping ways. I promise to try and just stick to the smut. Anyway, Honda’s up first with Malik waiting on deck. At least that’s the order if I continue this. At the moment it’s just sort of a weird experiment that may or may not prove popular.