To Find a Hidden Love

Title: To Find a Hidden Love

Author: Daisey

Rating: R

Pairing: Atem/Katenen (Yami/Jou); mention of Yugi/Katenen (Yugi/Jou)

Beta: Akuchan **hugs**

Spoilers: None that I'm aware of

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or its characters, just a few keepsakes, cards, and daydreams that are precious to me... (Not to mention VHS tapes, DVD’s, manga... ^__^)

Summary: A secret love affair is exposed upon the death of Atem's brother, leaving the god-king to deal with not only the burden of his own grief but that of the lover's as well.

A/N: I have included some Egyptian/Arabic words in the text to add to the feel to the story; explanations/definitions will be listed at the end of the chapter.

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"You lie." The man couldn't help it. His head rose from its submissive bow, the fear in his tawny eyes evident to the one who sat in the shadows before him. Instantly a guard reminded him of his position by a well-placed spear tip to the back of his neck.

"For... forgive me Atem Nisu," the captive stuttered nervously, his eyes averted properly to the floor. "But I would never presume to..."

"It ~must~ be a lie," the god-king insisted, his voice tight with denial. "There is no way my Sen, my Yugi is... You!" he snapped, gesturing toward the guard to his left. "Go now and find the truth."

"Na'am, Atem Nisu." The man was out of the door in a flash.

"And you," the haughty voice addressed the man guarding the prisoner. "Prepare to behead this stranger- this ~kalb~ once his fallacy is confirmed."

"Na'am, Atem Nisu," the man replied, nearly penetrating the skin of the stranger's neck in his eagerness to do his ruler's bidding. Several tense minutes passed as the three men waited, all three in different states of dread: the prisoner fearing death, the guard fearing denial, the god-king fearing truth. Finally the second guard returned, the answer he had sought obvious to those that awaited it by the heaviness in his footsteps and the expression on his face.

"Aasif, Atem Nisu," the man apologized, half in sorrow, half in fear. "But the kalb speaks the truth. Yugi Re-Pat has passed to the beautiful west, taken there by the bite of an asp." Silence reigned over the throne room for several moments and then:

"Leave me." The god-king's voice, though thick with tears and pain, brooked no argument. The guard bearing the news complied immediately, but the one watching over the prisoner hesitated.

"And what of this?" he asked almost plaintively, scratching the surface of the cowering man's neck with his spear tip and drawing blood. The stranger clenched his eyes at the pain but, to his credit, remained silent and still. Atem's eyes spared the odd looking prisoner a fleeting glance. He wanted nothing more than to have the kalb killed for the pain he had caused but, despite the rumors that whispered otherwise, he wasn't so cruel as to execute a man for bringing him the truth.

"He lives." The guard's disappointment was palpable as was the captive's relief. "Escort him to the kitchens and see that he is fed and watered and then throw him to the desert. I never want to see him again." At this, the man's head shot up again, only to drop back rapidly as the guard’s spear penetrated his neck. The guard laughed, pleased that he had at least been able to spill the stranger's blood since he had been denied the pleasure of killing him outright. He gave the prisoner a kick, laughing again at the way the red droplets flew through the air and onto the floor from where they had begun to pool at the base of his honey-colored head.

"Move!" he ordered, scowling as the man went to rise to his feet. A swift foot planted at the base of his spine drove him back to the floor. "Do not presume to rise in the presence of your ruler,” he spat contemptuously. "Now move."

As the captive began to crawl, his eyes filled with tears of pain and humiliation, but most of all sorrow. Once outside the vast throne room, the guard yanked him roughly to his feet and, spear-tip ever prodding the sensitive skin of his exposed back, forced the stranger to the kitchens as commanded.

Once there, he turned to one of the two lesser guards that kept watch over the entrance. "Give this worthless kalb a scrap of bread and then send him away," he barked to his underling- a youthful soldier not much older than the stranger he held at spear-point. "And do not be gentle about it, Herihor. This stranger has cursed Atem Nisu this day." Giving the captive one last prod he exited the room.

The captive stood before the new guard, eyes averted and afraid to move, feeling the other eye him warily. Suddenly he felt the cool sensation of metal beneath his chin as the guard forced his gaze up with the broad edge of his sword. "You do not bear the look of a soothsayer," he said, his voice as filled with curiosity as his eyes. "And your robes are not those of a Priest." He smirked at the stranger mockingly. "How is it a man of my age; a mere kalb of the streets could curse the almighty Atem?"

Moving for the first time, the stranger jerked back angrily. "I am no soothsayer, Priest, ~or~ kalb." He spoke defiantly; less afraid of this guard than the other, despite the sword he carried. "And I have brought no curse to this house less it be one of truth." His angry brown eyes met the curious hazel ones of his captor.

"And how can the truth be a curse?" the soldier demanded inquisitively. "The gods themselves value truth as one of the highest virtues." He gestured toward the stranger with his sword. "Explain yourself, kalb." The man set his teeth and glared at the guard.

"I am no kalb!" he ground out. The other again smiled mockingly.

"Fine then, stranger. What is your name?" He chuckled dryly. "Not that it matters; once I toss you to the sands as instructed it will be forgotten along with the rest of you."

"My name is Katenen," The other man muttered sullenly.

"Fine...Katenen." The guard gestured to a stone bench and, once the prisoner was seated, handed him a heel of bread. "Now explain."

"The truth as I saw it today ~is~ a curse," Katenen began lowly, playing with the bread in his hands but not eating it. "Despite what the gods decree." He took a deep breath and glanced at the soldier, who nodded at him to continue. The guard was surprised to see the other’s eyes fill with tears. "I... I beheld the death of Yugi Re-Pat this day," the stranger said shakily. The next thing he knew he was sprawled on the floor, placed there by a harsh slap to his face.

"You lie!" the guard spat, his face pale with anger and fear.

"I do ~no~ such thing!" Katenen defied, glaring up at the soldier from the floor. "I cannot help what my eyes have seen, any more than I could help ~him~ when the... when it..." His voice broke as sorrow and fear finally overcame him. "I did not know," he sobbed. Eyes made golden with tears pled with the guard for belief. "I did not know the cursed snake was there. I... the stones began to fall and my Merwet is... was ~so~ small! I pushed him away from the slide... placed myself between him and the stones... and for what?" The boy was keening now, his slender body wracked with grief. "My Yugi... my Merwet is gone!" The guard gaped at the sobbing form in front of him.

"Merwet?" he repeated, his voice little more than a whisper. "You... you lie." Herihor knew the accusation to be false even as he said it. There was too much pain... too much truth in the other's eyes for it to be so. Haltingly he walked over and grabbed the fallen man by the arm, dragging him back up onto the bench. Entering the kitchen, he fetched a stone bowl of water and a clean rag, and brought it back into the hall. "Here," he said curtly forcing the items at Katenen. Tear-filled eyes stared at him in confusion. "Clean your face."

"Why bother?" the stranger muttered, swiping his eyes with the back of his hands. "All I had to live for is gone and besides..." he glared mockingly back up at the guard. ”Once you toss me to the sands, my face will be forgotten along with the rest of me."

Much to Katenen's surprise, a grin flitted across the soldier's face. "Whether you speak the truth or not, your wit matches that of..." Herihor's face saddened as he thought about the fallen prince. "Wait here," he instructed brusquely as he gestured for the other guard to move to the man's side. "Do ~not~ move." Herihor moved rapidly down the hall. "And clean your face!" he called back over his shoulder. "Nobody seeing you looking like ~that~ would ~ever~ believe..." his voice faded as he rounded the corner.

Katenen glanced up at the other guard, only to see him gesture curtly to the bowl and rag. Heaving a ragged sigh he moistened the rag, but not without a last curious glance in the direction Herihor had taken.

*****

"It is not my place!" a frightened voice spoke pleadingly.

"I don't care if it is your place or not, sabi!" an angry voice retorted. "You bring to me these lies of a kalb and expect ~me~ to inform Atem ~myself~? He is beside himself with grief. Ra only ~knows~ what he'll do. And besides, the stranger is probably lying."

"No." the voice rebutted, still frightened but firm. "He speaks the truth. I can see it in his eyes."

"Which is exactly why..."

Atem sighed and rolled his eyes, casting a tender glance at the body that had housed his brother's ka. "Ra, Sen, I miss you already," he whispered, blinking back his tears. Schooling his face into a stern expression, he stepped out of the chamber where Yugi had been laid and into the hall. Instantly the two guards humbled themselves, knees and foreheads pressed to the floor. A well-placed foot drew the supervising guard's attention. "Who is this sabi and why do you disturb my mourning with your sparring?"

"My humble apologies, Atem Nisu," the guard began, raising his head only. "The sabi- Herihor- is a kitchen guard. Per your instructions, I took the stranger there and left him in Herihor's care. A few moments ago Herihor came to me in the hall, informing me that the man had spoken more about Yugi Re-Pat's passing. I did not wish to disturb you- desperate times will make even the most honest of men..." Atem cut him off.

"Yet you...Herihor." The young guard raised his head timidly. "You feel he speaks the truth- strongly enough to risk your position by arguing with your superior. Why?"

"The ring of truth was in his voice as he spoke," Herihor began, his voice low but steady. "The look of truth was in his eyes as he wept." Atem looked at him sharply.

"Why would a stranger weep for my Sen?" he pondered a moment. "Less they were tears of respect for the loss of a son of Ra..."

"No, Atem Nisu," Herihor began.

"Silence, sabi..." the older guard growled.

"No." Atem silenced the man. "Let him speak." Herihor swallowed roughly and

"He did not weep out of mere respect." He finally spoke. "He wept out of love and great sorrow." Atem's eyes widened and his mouth opened to speak but Herihor pressed on. "The man... Katenen was no stranger, Atem Nisu. He claims he was Yugi Re-Pat's lover."

**TBC**

Translations:

Nisu- King [according to research it wasn't until the Greeks came to Egypt that the term `Pharaoh' was used]

Sen- Brother

Na'am- yes

Kalb- dog

Aasif- I'm sorry

Re-Pat- Prince

Sabi- Boy