On My Own
On My Own
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And now I'm all
alone again Nowhere to turn, no one to go to
Without a home without a friend Without a face to say hello to
And now the night is near I can make believe he's here
It’s dark and cold and I pull my jacket closer around me. Trying to block out
the freezing wind that nips at my face causing chills to run up my spine.
Everyone else in town is asleep as I walk soundlessly through the streets. I
wish I was like them, cuddled close on the couch or under the covers with the
one you love…the one I loved already had someone, and there was little I could
about it, their bond was one never meant to be broken.
Sometimes I walk
alone at night When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and I'm happy with the company I'm keeping
the city goes to bed and I can live inside my head
He consumed me, his
eyes, his hair, and his smile…everything about him was intoxicating …and I
loved him. I was a fool to ever deny my feelings for him. A complete idiot, for
once in my life I had a moment of absolute and undeniable clarity that I was in
love with him and yet…I did not act upon it, I ignored it and became cruel
toward him to keep myself safe.
On my own Pretending he's beside me
All alone I walk with him till morning
Without him I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes And he has found me
I hurt him because I
was frightened of what I felt, and he in turn avoided me. I tried to pretend it
was better this way I told myself that I would forget…but I didn’t, I couldn’t
erase him from my mind and wanted to be near him so badly. I wanted to feel his
smooth skin under my fingers, to run my hands through his hair and kiss his
soft lips. I wanted him so badly and yet it was my fault he was now in
another’s arms on this while cruel and cold night I was on my own.
In the rain the pavement shines like silver All the lights
are misty in the river
In the darkness, The trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me Forever and forever
It began to drizzle
slightly and everything around me turned into silver, soon the rain turned to
snow and it began to cover the streets, a blanket of pure white. The snow
reminded me of him, his pale completion his beautiful long white hair. I looked
upon the tree’s trying to divert my attention to something else. The snow was
not sticking to the branches though instead the wet trees reflected the
starlight and shimmered like his brown doe-like eyes.
And I know it's only in my mind That I'm talking to myself
and not to him
And although I know that he is blind Still I say, there's a way for us.
I could not escape
him, he was everywhere but strangely enough…I was happy. He was with me on this
cold night and I was no longer alone. He was with me, surrounding me and
showering me. I knew it was only in my mind that he was with me but I needed
this fantasy to survive another day, I needed to live on and pretend that one
day we could be together…as I have always dreamed of.
I love him but when the night is over
He is gone the river's just a river
without him the world around me changes
the trees are bare and everywhere the streets are full of strangers
The sun is rising
and it is melting him away, the soft snow that blanketed this town is slowly
disappearing and I am once again alone. The bare trees around me no longer
remind me of his sparkling eyes and the world changed from me and him into a
place full of strangers and pain.
I love him But every day I'm learning
All my life I've only been pretending
Without me His world would go on turning
A world that's full of happiness, That I have never known
I feel as if I’m
dying I can’t live without him, yet I know in the back of my mind that he can
live without me, he doesn’t need me as I so desperately need him. He can
continue living, a happy full and content life while slowly I wither away and
die from a broken heart. I have never known true happiness, the happiest moment
in my life was when I finally accepted that I loved him and I would tell
him…and the saddest moment in my life was that the very same day he was with
his yami.
love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own.
I will continue to love him yes…but only on my own.
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