kawaita Sakebi

**
Prologue - Needle Ball
Level two monster. Attack: 750 Defense: 700. This card allows you to inflict 1000 points of direct damage to your opponent at the cost of 2000 of your own lifepoints.

***
Kawaita Sakebi

Just walk a bit further along the road with me
As we count the dreams that are fading,
Friends who are leaving.
I am lost in this moment, in the familiar streets,
In the darker half of myself.

A longing scream--
A parched shout pierces a fragile heart.
Will you join me on my journey?
My heart holds hidden knowledge--
But you must find the key.

Together, across time, and through sadness,
Forever, bound together, one, until the end.
If time was reset, perhaps we'd meet again.

Against my will, my thoughts grow colder,
Perhaps it is time to change--
Perhaps I should fall in love.
Freed from fear, waiting patiently
For my heart to awaken, to bloom.
Just take my heart.

A longing scream--
A parched shout pierces a fragile heart.
Please join me on my journey--
Join me in my dreams.
You can trust me--
Just take my heart.
My journey continues--

***

"Guys, I wouldn't give up on Kaiba just yet. He may be trailing now, but, as world champion, he's got to have a few tricks up his sleeve."

"Pegasus, it's time to end your underhanded trickery."

"But how can anyone beat Pegasus when he has cards like that at his disposal?"

"It's your last turn and you're going to spend it reviving a clown? Oh that's right, Kaiba-boy, he's the best monster you have left."

"Mokuba, I tried my very best--"

"Your best failed you; I attack--"

"Forgive me, Mokuba. I am truly sorry."

"Oh, you've lost much more than this duel, Kaiba-boy. You've lost the only chance you had of rescuing your baby brother. But don't worry, my dear friend. I will spare you the agony of living without him.

"What are you doing?"

"Removing your soul. And, while your soul is gone, your body remains as my obedient, loyal servant.”

“Now, take away that empty shell-- teach it to wash dishes or something."


***
Toon World
A magic card that protects toon monsters from attacks.
***

His world had narrowed: Wash the plate, rinse the plate, dry the plate, stack the plate. Repeat.
Unnoticed, time passed.

***
"Man, did you see Kaiba-- total zombie."
"Well, that's an improvment."
"I'll say!"
"Come on guys-- no one deserves that. Not even Kaiba."
"Yeah, right."
"What happens to Mokuba?"
"In the end, we will trimaph and rescue the souls Pegasus has trapped."
"Of course you will, Yuug."
"Never doubted you for a moment, man."
"Does anyone have any food?"
"Sorry, I'm out."
"Think I've got a package of chocolate donuts in here somewhere."
"Ew. Do you have anything that's not smushed?"
"Hey, beggers can't be choosers."
"I think Pegasus is supposed to serve us dinner."
"Yeah, but do you trust his food?"
"I wouldn't eat it."
"I guess so. After all, if we're dead, dueling us wouldn't be much of a challenge, now would it."
"Yeah, yeah."

***
What have you gotten yourself into? Kaiba was so confident-- right up until the end anyway-- and look where he ended up, Think Mai, think. You've got to come up with some devious and underhanded tricks of your own. Unless, of course, you'd rather spend the rest of your life as a playing card in Pegasus' personal deck. It wouldn't be so bad-- you could be the Harpy Queen. Follow the dark rabbit! Off with your soul! Heh. It'd be a lot funnier if it wasn't a possibility.

Girl, what were you thinking-- this is ridiculous. After all, there are only so many useful card combinations, and Yuugi knows my deck almost as well as I do. Besides, I want something to eat. Something that's not stale, not smushed and preferably wrapped in very sterile packaging. Golden eyeballs in my soup-- how grotesque can you get?
And Joey ate the slop anyway. Ugh. There's got to be a kitchen in here somewhere, all I have to do is find it.

***
Wash, rinse, repeat. Wash, rinse, repeat.

***
"Hello? Hey, you there, can you please tell me where the kitchen is?"
"Certainly Miss. Go down the hall, down the stairs to your left, through the door that says 'To lower levels', down two more flights of stairs to the basement, and through the double doors that say 'Staff Only! All Others KEEP OUT'."
"Thanks."
"No problem, Miss. Glad to help."

A polite goon. Wow-- didn't know they made those.

***
Wash, rinse, repeat. Wash, rinse--

At last. That's got to be the kitchen-- it's the only door down here.
Huh. It sounds like someone's in there; wonder if I can sweet talk them into cooking me something. It's worth a try anyway. If not, I sure hope Pegasus keeps peanut butter around. Wait-- is that ....
Yeah, that's Kaiba.
The great Seto Kaiba washing dishes-- now there's something I never thought I'd see. Guess I have to do something about this, don't I. So much for my quick snack.

"Kaiba. Hey, Kaiba. Hon, let's get you out of here. Maybe there's some way to help you.
Kaiba, come on! We've got to go before Pegasus gets ba-"
"Mai, dear! Such a pleasent suprise. What brings you to this part of the castle? Surely you're not hungry, not after that lavish feast I served--"
"I was feeling a bit peckish actually. But-"
"Well then, Mai, you simply must join me. I have such a delicious dish here, perhaps we could share?
But what's a dish like this without the proper preperation. Gentlemen, look through the cabinets and see what you can find. How are you at preperation, Mai, dear?"
"- uhm-"
"Oh, but it's simple; it's the presentation that truly enhances the flavour. After all, it's not every day that we have meat of this calibar ... wouldn't you agree? Carrot?"
"Er-, no thanks. But-- wouldn't it be simpler for him to just wash dishes?"
"Perhaps so, but chere, where's the fun in that? Look at him, so content, so eager to serve. Aren't you eager to serve, Kaiba-boy?"
Wash, rinse, repeat.
"Oops! Dear me, I seem to have dropped a few plates. And my good china, too! Ah well, c'est la vie. Kaiba-boy, wash the plates."
"So complient, so eager to please me, he's a treasure, isn't he, Mai dear?"
"Kaiba, give me your hands."
"Now, now Mai, that won't do you any good, after all, he's my toy.
Kaiba, hold out your hands. Now, Mai, would you like to play with my pretty toy?"
"Here Kaiba, let me-- ouch!"
"Mai, really now, don't hurt yourself on that nasty, sharp china. You have such lovely hands-- so soft and delicate. I'd hate for them to scar. Besides, since it doesn't bother Kaiba-boy, it shouldn't bother you.”
"Pegasus, please don't do this."
"Mai, darling, really now! He's such a delectable morsel. And we're going to have such fun playing with him."
"You shouldn't play with your food."
"Oh, you're a fiesty one, aren't you? Really now, I thought you'd have sense enough not to challenge me in my own home."
"Would you like to step outside, then?"
"Either way, Mai, dear, you don't have a ghost of a chance. And darling, if you must fight me, remember, it's my house, my game and my rules. We'll duel.”
"For what-- my soul?"
"Oh, no dear, not for your soul. A girl's soul? Hardly worth my effort; I'm not even sure girls have souls. No, no, let's be practical. If you win, you can have my Kaiba-toy. But when you loose, Mai dear, you'll stay and watch us prepare my dish.
Or you could help-- I've heard that woman are quite skilled in the kitchen.
Oh, you won't win, Mai.
Don't forget, I can see every delicious thought in that pretty head of yours. Darling! temper, temper, you are a lady, after all.
Come, Mai, kiss the pretty toy for me, and let us ajourn. My bedroom perhaps? There are so many delights left to sample, and I do so hate to be rushed."

***
The Shine Palace
A magic card that adds 500 attack points to all toon monsters.
***

"Mai, darling, how you fought me. Such fire, such delectable, evil thoughts. I never would have guessed. The perfume, truly ingenious, tell me now, did anyone else ever figure that out? But playing blind, honestly darling, Kaiba-boy already tried that. The direct damage cards, an interesting strategy, it really was a pity you ran out of them.
Now, now, don't flinch darling, a deal is a deal. Come and help me play with my pretty Kaiba-toy. Don't worry, precious, I'll share.

Now Mai, choose your tool. One must always approach art like this with the proper ... implements.
No. No. Definately not. Perhaps this one? Too large? I think not-- See? Look how eager he is-- Such a lovely mouth, Kaiba-boy. Yes, he does have potential, don't you think?
Now boys, gently, gently. Tease him first.
Were's the knife?
No, no, the one with the curved bone handle. Ah, thank you. Isn't it pretty, Mai? I had it made specially ... so versitle.
You're really quite pale, Kaiba-boy-- You should get out more.

Now, now Mai, you mustn't shrink away like that.
Come here darling, I might think you're not enjoying this.
Ah, ah, ah-- you can't deny that you've wanted to see him like this--
Well, feast your eyes, dearest, oh, go on, kiss him, won't you-- after all, it's your big chance, probably the closest you'll ever get.
Such a kiss, Mai dear-- why, you left a mark. Oh, go on, kiss him again.
Beautiful. Such a pretty, pretty picture.
Sit down, Kaiba-boy. We wouldn't want your pretty feet to hurt.

All right boys, I suppose you can have your fun now.

Mai dear, sit here. Closer, closer darling-- no snuggle up more, it's a bit chilly in here, don't you think? Let's watch them prepare our dish, shall we?
Barbaric? You're right, where are my manners? Would you like something to nibble on while we wait...? No?
Perhaps a glass of wine, then? I have a wonderful red, sweet and rich and ... tangy. Sip? No? Well, suit yourself.

Oh-- how droll! Oh, look at that Mai, oh, he likes that, doesn't he.
Really now boys, you needn't be so gentle with him. He won't remember any of it.
Well, not if he's lucky, anyway.

Come now, Mai, you have to watch the show. After all, that was part of the deal. And it's so much more fun with you sqirming on my lap, lean a bit closer, I won't bite ... much.
Here, darling, taste-- oh, so sweet and salty. And such a pretty pattern. Do the other side to match it, won't you, boys. Lovely.
No, no, you'll have to distract him. Well-- yes, I suppose that'll work.
Oh dear, his mouth looks empty.
Never mind, that'll do nicely. Or the larger one.
Honestly, have you no endurence? No pride in your work?
It's so hard to find good help these days.

More gloves? Of course. Mai, be a doll and find another box or two, won't you.
Well, take them off completely, then, if they're getting in your way-- he won't notice. At least, I don't think he will. One never knows. Mai, darling, pour me another glass of wine, won't you?

Honestly! Well, tie him to the table, then. Have you no imagination? No, no, the other way.
Don't worry about it, what's there ought be enough.
Now, now boys-- play nicely now. If you can't share--

Kaiba-boy, you're such an elegant dish,
Hm, not so proud now, though. A pity that. Ah, well, one can't have everything. You're certainly content-- that's a fine start.
Mai, darling, would you like a turn?
I take it that's a no?
Are you sure?
Ah, well, if you'll just lean down a bit while the boys finish up.

Very nice.
You're quite talented for a woman.
Now, now, that's cheating--
Ah, here-- sip and swallow. Delicious, isn't it?
Oh well, I've always thought so.

No, just leave the leftovers-- the staff will take the trash out later.
Mai, be a dear and turn off the light behind you, won't you. Don't forget your deck, you have a big day tomorrow. You did get enough to eat, didn't you? I could always--
No? Well, I wouldn't want you to go to bed hungry.
Good night, Mai darling, sleep well."

***
Resurrect Monster
A magic card that allows you to select a Monster Card from the graveyard and place it on the field under your control.
***

He was diving deep, and deeper, lungs burning, the water around him dark and grimy. This time he would touch the bottom. Blindly he reached out, hands grasping, clutching a double handful of sharp stones. Then, up, up, as the water grew lighter, glass green, champagne pale, flying upward, panting, gasping, gulping soft, sweet-smelling air.

"Big brother! You did it! I knew you could do it! No one's ever managed to-- Oh big brother! They're so pretty-- look!"
He looked down at his hands, pale and dripping, full of shiny sparkle.
"Here you are, as requested."
"Oh, big brother, thank you. They're perfect."

***
"I'm gonna get you Big brother!"
"Oh, are you now? Hey-- stop-- No! No tickling! That's cheating!"
"I got you! I got you! Catch me! Bet you can't catch me!"
"If you'd just hold still- Hey-- not my clothes! Where are you going with those?! Don't you dare! Mokuba!"
"Oops! Guess they slipped big brother-- you'll just have to swim until they dry."
"Come back here, you-"

***
He lay on the sun-warmed rock, feet hanging in the water, watching the sun filter green through the leaves, feeling the breeze rustling through his hair. Mokuba swam around him, laughing, splashing him when he started to dry off.
He had never felt this complete, this peaceful--
"Kaiba-"
The trees blurred and the sun grew colder. He shook his head, and closed his eyes tighter.
"Kaiba, wake up."
The rock was getting pretty uncomfortable--
"Kaiba, hurry now, you've got to get up."
"What?"
"Yuugi Moto won the duel, Pegasus is gone."
"Moke? Where's--"
"He's fine. You'll see him shortly. Here, quickly now-- I have your coat and briefcase-- you must leave now before the staff notices you're missing."
"Who are you? Why are you doing this?"
"That's none of your concern. As to why-- I'm paying off a debt I incurred a long time ago. Hurry now, follow the stairs up to the roof. Mokuba and his friends will meet you there. I must go now."
"Wait--"
"Goodbye Seto Kaiba. It was an honor to have helped you."

***
"Big brother? Big brother, where are you?"
"Do not worry Mokuba, Kaiba's soul was restored to him. I am sure he will find you. Be patient now."
"Yeah, that's right, buddy, don't worry, he'll turn up.”
"He always does."
"Like a bad penny."
"Joey! Hey, look is that--"
"Big brother! Big brother! I missed you!"

It wasn't the victory he had envisioned, but, at the moment, it was almost enough.
***
Doppelganger
A card that can mimic a card on the field.
***

"Come Mokuba, the chopper is here."
"Big brother, I thought that maybe Yuugi-"
"No Mokuba."
"Please big brother."
"Mokuba, I said no. They can find their own way home."
"But, Seto, they've gotta ride with us, there's no other way off the island."
"No they don't. They can swim for all I care"
"Please Seto they rescued me and-"
"And I didn't.
"That's not what I-"
"Very well. They may join us."

***
"This is my payment for rescuing Mokuba. Get in."
"I see he's back to his old self."
"How pleasant."
"Where's my bag?"
"I'm sitting on it. Here."
"I call shotgun."
"There's no shotgun in a chopper."
"I'll bet this one has a shotgun."
"I'll bet this one has lots of guns."
"Dork. I bet they won't let you near them."
"Come on guys, he's gonna leave without you."
"At the moment I don't blame him."
"Hey! Who's side are you on, anyway?"
"Move over--"
"You move--"
"You!"
''Mine, I'm the one who has to put up with you."
"You first!"
"You!"
"Boys! You can both move."
"Get off my foot, Tristan."
"But you have big feet."
"Move your hand. Move it now."
"Oh, sorry Tea, thought you were an armrest. Ow! What'd I say?"
"Sheesh, Kaiba, couldn't someone as rich as you afford a bigger chopper."
"We could strap you to the outside, if you'd prefer."
"Uhm, never mind, I'm ok."

***
It's darker now, I must have slept. Tristan and the Mutt are dueling, wonder how that happened. Guess the great King-of-Games can't be bothered to duel with us mere mortals.
Wonder if Mokuba realizes that helping both duelists is counterproductive.
Huh. Tea got stuck holding the flashlight for the boys. Should I tell her there's an overhead-- Why bother, it makes her feel useful.
Mai's asleep; if I move a bit closer, I could almost--
Her hair is soft; it smells like lemon--
She's snoring--
Close your eyes, Seto Kaiba, pretend that she actually wants to be here, asleep, curled against your leg. Pretend that you're accepted, part of the group. Pretend that they want to be with you, that they aren't here merely out of pure necessity.
Quickly, Seto, pull your coat around you before they notice. Close your eyes, and bask in the unexpected warmth, the knowledge that there's a long ride ahead of you.
I'm so tired--

***
"Whose idea was this again?"
"Yours, Einstein. You found the chips and said 'Hey guys, let's play poker.' Remember?"
"Yeah, but I'm losing."
"Does anyone have anything to eat?"
"You should have given yourself more chips."
"That would have been cheating."
"What, and stealing from me every time I look away isn't?
"That's different."
"I don't see how."
"It's poker. It's a boys' game, girls aren't supposed to be good at it."
"Listen to the funny boy, Mai."
"Joey, don't you still have those donuts?"
"I'm not that hungry."
"Hon, woman are so good at poker you don't even realize there's a game going on."

***
"Ah, man- I fold again. Mr.-King-of-Games-Yuugi I can understand, but come on, Mai, are you sure you're not cheating?"
"Of course not. Luck is a lady after all."
"How come I'm not winning, then?"
"Who says you're a lady, Tea? Ouch! That hurt!
"As well it should have."
"All right, Lady Luck, tell me where you were last night, then?"
"I was in my room, fine tuning my deck."
"No you weren't. I was in your room and you weren't there."
"What were you doing in my room, Joey Wheeler? Were you looking for me or just stealing my underwear again?"
"No! I told you, that was a one time thing! Trist dared me."
"Yeah, sure. That's what they all say. Can't admit it when they have a problem."
"Buddy, I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Don't you remember? You wanted to know what size-"
"Yeah, man, whatever you say."
"Cut the deck, Joey."
"Who's in?"
"I am."
"Me too."
"Me."
"I guess so, loan me some chips, will ya, Yuug."
"I think Mokuba is still asleep, but-- "
"Yeah, he's out cold--"
"Poor kid."
"Kaiba, I'm gonna deal you in. Yuugi, find him some chips. Tristan, move over so he can squeeze in, and I can see your hand better.
"So that's how you've been winning, Mai."
"Hey, whatever works."

What is this? Since when am I part of the happy little group? What kind of trick are they--
Oh. Of course. It's my chopper so they felt obligated. Obligation I can understand, but do I actually want to make the awkward attempt to play their game? Still, there's something to be said for winning Yuugi's chips. And humiliating the mutt.
"Come on Kaiba--"
"Yeah, hurry up."
'What, Joey, you want to lose faster?"
"What?! Hey!"
"Hey, Kaiba, come on, I'm looking for a decent challenge here."

Mai again. What is she getting out of this?
It'll be ok. I'll sit in the corner with my back against the wall, and decimate Joey. How bad can it be? After all, it is my chopper. I can always have them flung out the window if they win.

***
"This is so not fair. Kaiba's even better at this than you are Yuug."
"Give me your jacket, Joey, and I'll give you my chips, I'm done anyway. I want to get some sleep."
"Tea--"
"What? I'm cold and he's got on like three shirts anyway. I suppose I could borrow Kaiba's duster instead."
"Of course."
"Really?"
"You can have it when you pry it from my cold, dead body."
"Well, in that case-"
"Yes?"
"Joey, fork over your jacket."
"You owe me-"
"Here Joey, chips. Now quit whining."
"Ok, ok guys-- who's in?"
"I've got chips and you're going down."
"Two cards."
"Three."
"I'm ok."
"Two."
"Dealer takes three."
"So where were you last night, Mai?"
"Oh, no, we're not starting that again."
"If you'd just tell me I'd stop asking."
"You're raising it that much? You either have the world's best hand or-- You're bluffing, aren't you?"
"I never bluff, mutt."
"But that could be a bluff, too."
"Duh, man, that's the point."
"I see you, and raise you."
"So where were you?"

Why is scared all of a sudden? She's trying too hard to change the subject, and she's trembling. She moved out of the light before anyone could see her face, and she's digging her nails into my leg. Hard. Ouch. I don't think she even realizes--

"Well, Joey, if you really must know--"

So this is the punch line, the penalty for sitting in the little circle of Yuugi's friends and pretending to belong. No doubt she caught a glimpse of me with Pegasus, and figured this was the perfect way to humiliate me. Nice to know my humiliation causes her such mental anguish. At least she isn't completely soulless.

"There was a two-for-one sale on shoes at the mall down the road, and I figured I'd better stock up while I had the chance. After all, it's not every day that a girl has such an opportunity."
"Oh, a two-for-one sale--"
"Yeah, Mai, in that case--"
"Well, fine, Mai, if that's how you want to be. All secretive and you know-- womanish, I understand."
"Uhm, dude, she's a wo--"
"Yeah, yeah I know, she's a woman and woman are just weird."
" What's your move, Joey?"
"Uhm-- I fold. Again. Damn."

Shoes? She managed to change the subject again. It looks like Joey's given up. She thinks so too, she's unpeeling her hand. Yuugi was looking at her oddly for a moment-- No, she smiled at him and he went back to the game.
But I wonder-- what do her shoes look like? Dirty leather boots. Figures.

Wait. That's not dirt, that's blood.
***
Burning Land
A magic card that destroys all field magic cards in play, and does 500 points direct damage to both players.
***

"Hey, we're here!"
"Wow, Kaiba, this place is big!"
"Yeah, man-- have you ever gotten lost?"
"Where's my bag?"
"Who knows the number for a cab?"
"Hey, Yuug, can I crash at your place?"
"Here's your donuts, Joey."
"Ok now, who has my keys-- oh, here they are."
"Now that we're home can we bury the donuts or something?"
"Hey, Tea, you gotta wake up now."
"Hello? Yeah, we'd like to get a cab sent to--"
"No, that's my bag, here's yours-"
"I'm not burying those, man-- they'd rise from the ground and haunt us."
"We're back already?"
"Who's got some cash?"
"We're getting together tomorrow, right?"
"I think I've got a couple bucks--"
"Yeah, I'll meet you at the shop, I want to see those cards."
"Are you coming to Yuugi's, Tea?"
"I guess so, I can walk from there. I think I've got some money, who has my purse?
"You can drop me off at Yuugi's-- I left my bike there."
"So ... just one cab, then, right?"
"Yeah, seems like."
"Mai, what about you?"
"Mai?"
"Hey ... earth to Mai."
"Mai? Are you ok?"
"Huh? Oh ... oh, just tired."
"You going to Yuugi's?"
"No ... I think I'll just go home."
"Aw, come on Mai, we're going to celebrate."
"I'm hungry, we'll pick up some food-"
"You're always hungry."
"Anything but donuts."
"No ..."
"Come on Mai, we only got one taxi and you live all the way across town."
"Joey!"
"It's ok, I'll just walk, it's not that far."
"But it's late, you might get hurt."
"Tea, I'll be fine. Look, here's your cab. You guys go on, I'll call you, ok?"
"But--"
"Really, Tea, it's ok. Here, take my bag, I'll get it back tomorrow."

***
"Why didn't you go with your friends?"
"It'll be easier to just walk home."
"Bull."
"I didn't say quicker, I said easier."
"Ah."
"Kaiba-- oh hell with it-- can I stay here tonight?"
"What?!"
"I'll sleep in the guest room, surely in a house this size you must have a guest room, I just-- I don't want to celebrate tonight.”
"Go home, then."
"I don't really want to be alone, either."
"Monster under your bed?"
"Yeah. Something like that. Please."
"But why here?"
" I guess, I--"
"Big brother, where are you?"
"No. I can't let you. Goodnight, Mai."

***
What was that? Why did she want to stay here? What kind of trick was it? What kind of humiliating information did she hope to obtain? And Seto, you were ready to let her stay. Stupid! That's right, cover your face and sigh wistfully. Such a stupid, weak, careless little boy. No wonder Pegasus was able to overpower you so easily. Someone shows the slightest bit of inadvertent interest and you think they care about you. I thought you were supposed to be smart, Kaiba-boy. No one cared before, and now--
Seto, now you're strictly second-quality. You're tainted. Maybe if you paid someone--
Hell, you ought to be thankful that Pegasus didn't charge you for the privilege. Pity you can't remember, because that's probably the best you're ever going to get.
But she was shaking.
Probably still reeling with disgust from waking up next to you, having to untangle her hair from your hands. Do you really think she wanted to be around you?
But there was blood on her shoes. Something happened. Did she try to find Mokuba?
If she did, it was only because she got stuck playing the heroine while Yuugi saved your ass. How does it feel, Kaiba-boy? Being indebted to your rival and his groupies?
I pay my debts. I always pay my debts.
Better get started then, Seto-boy.

" Send out the limo, go west from the house. Look for a lady. Tall, blond hair, brown boots. Offer her a ride. Her home only. Because it's late and she was too stupid to take a cab, that's why."


***
Polymerization
A magic card that fuses two or more monsters together to create a stronger monster.
***

"Hey Yuug. Stuck minding the store?"
"Yup."
"Where's everyone?"
"Back room. Tristan and Mai are dueling, Tea's making cookies, and I think Yami's helping."
"Cookies!"
"Hey, it's Joey!"
"Hey man-"
"Joey Wheeler, get your hands out of the cookie dough!"
"Mph, good cookie dough."
"Joey, you must desist."
"NOW, Joey."
"I attack with Harpy Lady, which reduces your life points to zero."
"Ouch! All right, already."
'Hey, good move-"
"Not again. This game sucks."
"You must have patience and practice more often, Tristan,"
"Here, Trist, have some cookies, it'll make you feel better."
"These aren't too bad."
"Give me some-"
"Well, we only burnt one batch."
"Hey, pass me the plate. No, with the cookies. Literal dork."
"You said to cook them until they were brown. I was following your instructions."
"Yuugi-- cookies!"
"Yeah, but when they start smoking--"
"Mai Valentine-- the victor-- now welcomes all challengers!"
"Shouldn't it be victoress?"
"Gloat a bit more, oh Kaiba-ish one."
"You're just jealous-- here, have another cookie."
"Where is Kaiba these days? I haven't seen him lurking in the background."
"Haven't seen him at school, have you, Yuug?
"Huh?"
"These are good."
"Don't they usually have more chocolate?"
"There would've been more in the cookies if Yami hadn't eaten half the bag before we started making them."
"Kaiba-- you seen him lately?"
"Eh, they're ok like this."
"Mokuba says he's been cutting class and working 24/7."
"When was Mokuba in here?"
"Seto Kaiba works, and the world trembles."
"What about school?"
"When you're that rich, who needs school?"
"Are there any more cookies?"
"If you help me make more, there will be."
"Joey, stop eating the sugar."
"That's the best part. And there isn't any cookie dough left."
"Hm, wonder why."
"Here, I'll get you a bowl and spoon, why bother with the cookies?"
"Who needs a spoon?"

***
Could this house be any bigger? Wonder if he's ever gotten lost. Getting lost in your own home-- now that would be embarrassing. And who would you ask for directions? Maybe there's a map around here or something. How many rooms do you need anyway-- bet most of them are just sitting here gathering dust. Lovely. Guards at nine o'clock. Think Mai: should you just brazen it out or sneak? Brazen first, then, if that fails, sneak, I guess. Don't even want to think about how much security is in here.
Ding, dong, Avon calling. Here we go--

Should be the next door on my right. Glad I ran into Mokuba, that certainly made things easier.
Locked, that figures. Huh. Turn the stereo up a bit louder, won't you? He's got good taste in music, though. Now for the handy lock picks.
Almost got it-- almost--
Ah, here we go--

"Hello Kaiba, I brought you some cookies."

"Hey, hey, calm down. Of course it was locked. It just wasn't a very good lock."

"Really, I wasn't trying to stalk you. Mokuba was worried about you. I was worried about you. Even Joey was worried about you."
Ok, maybe he wasn't worried, but he did notice you weren't skulking about."
"But how did you get-"
"I told you, Mokuba was worried about you. I had his help. And a tight shirt. And a rather nice set of lock picks."
"What do want from me, Mai?"
"Well ... if you're handing stuff out, ten thousand dollars in small, unmarked bills would be nice."
"Will you take a check?"

"Kaiba, you can't hide in here forever, you'll run out of cookies."
"I'm not hiding, I'm working."
"Fine, you can't work forever."
"Don't be stupid."

"Mai, stop staring at me. Fine. Exactly what do I have to do to get rid of you?"
"Let me help you."
"No one can help me."
"You can't fix it by yourself."
"I beg y-"
"For one thing your color sense sucks. The sky clashes with the trees, and the people look flat.
"Oh."
"So, give me a job. I'll help you fix it."
"Not good enough."
"I'll go away... for now."
"What is this, blackmail?"
"Yup."
"Isn't that a bit low, even for you?"
"Nope, I'm broke. Poor and hungry. Starving, even."
"Here, have a cookie."

"Ok, fine, you win. You're hired. Now get out."
"As you wish, boss. I'll be back tomorrow to discuss game colors with you."
Thunk.
"Missed me."
Crash.
"Missed again."
Crash!
"Ow! Ok, ok, I'm leaving."

I did it. I actually did it-- bypassed the security system, managed to corner the elusive Kaiba in his lair. And I got a job out of it. Sweet.

***
These cookies actually aren't too bad. Bit skimpy on the chocolate chips, though. What did she want? Why go to all that trouble over a job? She has to be planning something. I'll have to minimize her computer access. Get her my cell number, that way she won't have any excuse to come here again. And change the door locks.


***
Harpy Lady
Level 4 monster. Attack: 1300 Defense: 1400.
***

Of course I'm fine, Joey. In fact, aside from the minor skirmish with the five headed dragon, the fact that I almost bit it, and the possibility of spending the rest of my life as pixels wearing a fur bikini, this job's really not bad.

I was so helpless. I don't do helpless. Not since-
No, Mai, don't think about it, you don't want to think about it-.
Quickly, you idiot, find your friends, they'll distract you.
"Yuugi ... Joey ..."
They're gone. They left without me.
"Yami ... Tristan ..."
- they left me alone-
"Tea ... Mokuba ..."
This isn't acceptable. I won't relive this.
"... Seto ..."
I won't. You can't make me. My mind, my rules. My-

***
"Mai, you can change in here."
"No, it's ok, I'll just put my shorts on over my suit."
"But you'll be all wet. You can use my shower, there's no one home but us."
"What about your brother?"
"Oh. Yeah. Well ... he's on the computer, he won't even notice. Trust me."
"But-"
"Look, if it really bothers you, I'll go downstairs and watch TV, ok?"
"I guess."

"Oh, what a pretty little mermaid we have here. Why didn't Holly tell me what a pretty little mermaid you are? Come here, pretty mermaid, let me show you my waterbed. Ouch! You bi- that hurt!

"Look in the mirror, aren't we lovely together? Oh, sorry, that was my deck, wasn't it? Here, I'll just kinda kick it unto the floor."

"Why won't you hold still? I think if you hold still it won't hurt as much."

"You're supposed to kiss me or something, instead of just lying there."

"You're bleeding on my sheets. That's gross, these were new. Now I'm gonna have to wash them.
Are you laughing at me? No one laughs at me. I said, no one laughs at me."

"Stop it! Stop laughing! You know what, you're really mean. I saw you and I thought she's pretty, she's nice. And I liked you. You're the first girl I ever liked. But you laughed at me. That's really rude. That makes me feel about two inches tall, and you shouldn't do it."

"Mom, I'm sorry I was late getting home. It honestly wasn't my fault. See--

"That's a pretty little story. Did it take you a long time to think of it?"
"You don't believe me."
"No, I don't. Mai, you need to learn to take responsibility for your actions. You had every opportunity to get home on time. No one tied you down or locked you up, did they?"
"Not as such. But-"
"Well then, Miss, consider yourself grounded."
"For how long?"
"Until you become the kind of girl we know you can be."

I won't be broken. He can't break me. They can't break me. No one will break me, I will never be tamed. I will be a harpy-woman, beautiful and dangerous. Men will fall at my feet, will worship me and I'll sneer as I crush them.
Today, as a symbol, I remove all unworthy cards from my deck. My pet harpies, symbol of my strength, protect me--
"Mai Valentine, do I smell something burning? You'd better not be smoking, young lady. Mai, unlock your door this instant. We don't lock doors in this house. It's not polite."

Poor Mom. She still wonders what happened to her innocent Mai-girl.

Huh. Well, that didn't go the way I expected. It wasn't nearly as bad as it used to be. In fact, it was kinda pathetic. Guess I can thank Pegasus for that-- who'd have ever thought he'd be useful. Justin, you innocent, fumbling fool, it's time for me to move on. I hope you're properly wracked with guilt, and I really, really hope you've improved your technique.
I'm done with you. I didn't think it was possible, but I'm finally done with you.

"Hello, Yuugi. I'd like to see what you have in the way of new monster cards."


***
Crush Card
A trap card that destroys all monsters with an attack strength over 1500.
***

"Morning Boss."
"Mai."
"Coffee? Here."
"What's in this?"
"Just coffee. Why?"
"It's early and you're cheerful."
"Minor epiphany, long standing problem resolved."
What are you doing?"
"Modifying my deck. Here, I've got some colour palettes and sketches for you. Tell me what you think of these-"
"They aren't harpies."
"No. More coffee?"
"Yes. Interesting designs."
"More practical than chain-mail, I thought."
"Not as strong as metal armor, though."
"But lighter."
"Hm."
"Easier to render, perhaps?"
"Those are male monsters."
"Yes, they are. You could claim it was magic, then it could be both lighter and stronger."
"Why are you adding more monsters to your deck?"
"I thought it might make my harpies happy. Also the matte finish eliminates the annoying landscape-reflected-on-the-armour problem the programmers were whining about."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, they didn't like my earlier suggestion to tint the armor pink."
"Do happy harpies have a lower attack strength?"
"No, but their defenses are lowered."
"Hm. Must make a note of that."
"Is that a challenge?"
"Not now, I have a meeting. Here, give me those sketches to take with me, I'll run them past the other programmers."
"You can't hide forever, Kaiba. Sooner or later you'll have to face it. But when you do, you might find that it's not be as bad as you feared.
"Later, then. I'll check my schedule."
"You're hopeless, you know that, Hon?"
"Yes."

***
"Hey Boss, brought you some dinner."
"Brown nosing again, Mai?"
"No-- hungry. Here, dig in."
"I suppose this means you feel entitled to eat with me."
"No, it means I choose to eat my dinner here. I can't help it if you happen to be working here as well. More rice?"
"Yeah."
"Here, Kaiba, pass me the veggies--"
"Where's the other set of chopsticks?"
"Here. Do you see any napkins?"
"Did you get any chicken?"
"I think there's some, check the larger box."
"Here."
"Thanks. There ought to be some sodas in there somewhere. Hey, hand it over. No, the other one: I don't want that one-- you shook it, I saw you."
"If you insist."
"Ack! What- oh, ick! How did you-"
"You'll notice I'm not opening mine."
"You jerk! You shook them both, didn't you?"
"Mm."
"You're evil. I'm gonna-- Hey, hold still."

"Oh man, that's cold."
"Payback's a bi- Ahhhhh!"
"It sure is.

Shall we call it a draw?"
"I guess so, since I'm out of soda."
"I'm not."
"Come on, Kaiba, you wouldn't attack an unarmed--! No!

"Is that your cell?"
"Yeah, ugh, you got it all wet."
"Oh, poor Kaiba-boy. Here, I'll take that away and wash dishes or something."

"Kaiba? Are you-"
"Don't ask ... stupid ques-"

"Kaiba?"

"Get your hand off of me. No one touches me without my permission.
I knew it was improbable that someone would help me, but I thought that, surely, for Mokuba, one of Yuugi's groupies would make a rescue attempt. Based on your obviously furtive actions in the chopper, I figured you were the lucky fool who'd drawn the short straw. I figured that, instead of finding Mokuba, you had found a few of Pegasus' goons, and they'd slapped you around a bit.
For a few moments I actually felt sorry for you.
But I remember now, I remember everything. You were there, watching. Sitting, curled in his lap, eyes half shut, staring at me.
What's wrong Pegasus? Kaiba-boy wasn't enough entertainment? Wasn't stimulating enough?
Did you think about Pegasus when you kissed me, Mai?
Huh? Answer me that.
Look at you: crying because Pegasus wouldn't let you kiss him.
So that's why were you sad, that night-- Yuugi won the duel and hurt your precious lover. That's why you didn't want to be around them. Oh, poor Mai. Did you want me around as a memento of your last night with Pegasus?
What did you do when you went home, Mai? Did you call you friends? Boast about your ringside seat? Did you remember to mention how I lay there--humiliated, unwilling, soulless, pathetic?”
"No, Kaiba that's-"
"Get out. Get the fuck out."
"Please Kaiba-"
"Mai, I suggest you leave quickly."
"Listen--"
"Go now. My security is on its' way."

***
Aww, what's the matter Seto-boy? Were you betrayed again? You're getting weak, Seto, you let her get too close. You were considering kissing her, weren't you? Go on, admit it-- confession is good for the soul. Might even do you some good, you poor soulless freak.
Silly, silly Seto-boy, you can't trust anyone, remember? You've never been able to trust anyone. Can't depend on anyone. Everyone fails you, loathes the very sight of you, why should she be any different?
Mokuba, I'm sorry, I thought she was trying to help you-- I thought maybe, for your sake she might have been willing to get hurt.
After all, Yuugi, (the hero, the magnificent king of games) won back all the souls.
Idiot! Sentimental fool! That wasn't for your benefit-- he wrangled the best deal he could. You'll be at his mercy forever, now. Didn't you realize that? No? Did you conveniently forget that little fact? Did you really think you'd escape unscathed? I wonder what he'll ask of you? Will you like it?
Will you look forward to it? Shudder with fear and anticipation?
Maybe if you're really lucky, Mai will watch again. Maybe she'll even kiss you. You liked that, didn't you? Your very first kiss?
What's the matter, Seto-boy? Aww, you aren't crying are you? I thought not: after all, this shouldn't bother you.
You're above all this, remember? Go ahead, examine it dispassionately. Don't let it control, consume you. Use it to your advantage. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I will end this, control it. My mind, my rules. I am strong. I will face myself, and the world with dignity, without fear. I can, I will survive this.
That's right, Seto-boy. Clench your fist, straighten up. I do so like to see the fire in your eyes. How long will you be able maintain your facade, I wonder, before you burn out completely.
Remember, I'll be waiting for you in the darkness.


***
Cold Wave
Until your next turn, neither you nor your opponent can play or set any Magic or Trap cards.
***

"Big brother, big brother, wake up!"
"... Uhuh?"
"Come on, get up, get up, get up, you promised-"
"Wha time-"
"It's going to be eight o'clock soon and you said we'd go at eight--"
" 'm getting up--"
"Come on already. I brought you coffee with lots of sugar and-"
" 'Offee?"
"Here you go."
"Why are you standing in front of the clock?"
"Come ON big brother, you're wasting time."
"What time is it, exactly? Move."
"Hey!"
"Mokuba, it's four thirty in the morning."
"I wanted you to to have plenty of time to get ready."
"There's nothing going on yet. Normal people are still asleep."
"Yeah, but we can see them setting up the booths and rides and get cotton candy and popcorn and breakfast and you can check your e-mail before we go--”
"I'm getting up. Better bring me more coffee."

***
"Come on guys, get up!"
" ... Don' wanna go t' school-"
"G'way."
" ... Jus' five more ..."
"Oh, for-- Tea, I told you we'd have to wake them up. Ok, lazy boys-- we're dressed and ready to go and you're still asleep. You're the ones who wanted to leave this early, remember?"
" 'k..."
"... ugh ..."
" 'm gettin ..."
"You wanna make the coffee, or shall I?"
"You make the coffee, I'll buy donuts."
"Donuts?! Didja get the kind with raspberry jelly and chocolate sprinkles on top? Or some of the chocolate creme kind? Hey ... where are they?"
"Dork. I haven't bought them yet. Want to go with?
"I guess."
"Well, Joey's up, anyway."
"That's always progress."

“Where's the rest of the donuts?"
"Who drank the all the orange juice?"
"I think there's a box left somewhere around here"
"I did not realize that it was your personal property, Tea."
"Who ate all the chocolate ones? Those were mine!"
"Hey, pal, you snooze, you lose."
"You told me all the donuts were gone."
"Quit whining, you've eaten nine of them."
"Right here-- Tea's orange juice."
"That looks like a listing of the ingredients--"
"You have to look closer, the print is small--"
"Where's Yuugi?"
"Still doing his hair."
"Joey, if you can't sit still, I'm gonna make you clean the dishes."
"He uses more gel than I do."
"At least he brushes his hair."
"Just how much coffee did you drink?"
"Uhm-"
"I do not see your name here."
"Where's the dish towel?"
"Tea, quit teasing Yami."
"Hey Yuug."
"Donut?"
"Where's the coffee?"
"Thanks--"
"I think I drank the last of it."
"How 'bout some juice, then?"
"We're out."
"Here, Yuugi. I saved you a cup. Cream?"
"Thanks."
"Hey--"
"Guys, it really is getting late--"

***
"Big brother, let's go--"
"Wait a moment."
"That's what you said half an hour ago, if you don't hurry up we're gonna miss everything.
"One moment-"
"I'm going to unplug the computer."
"Wait."
"I'm reaching for the plug...."
"I'm putting on my coat."

***
"Wow."
"This place is huge."
"Look guys, cotton candy-"
"Yeah, they really went all out this year--"
"I want some-"
"Who wants to go where?"
"Do they have a ferris wheel?"
"I want to ride the roller coaster."
"See if they have the blue kind."
"I'll ask. Do you want pink if they don't?"
"You're crazy-- that's dangerous."
"If I die, I'll die happy."
"I'll go on the roller coaster with you, Mai."
"Cotton candy?"
"'I love this stuff."
"Me too."
"Ugh. Too sweet."
"This from the girl who ate half a box of donuts."
"Any one else want to come with us?"
"Lovely, just what you guys need: more sugar."
"Here, Yami, try this--"
"I'm going to save you from yourselves. Hand it over."
"No way-- this one's mine, go buy your own."
"It is fuzzy. Why would you wish to eat this?"
"Trust me."
"At least share. Thanks."
" 't's good, I promise."
"Hey, man, slow down-"
"Joey, forgive me if my definition of edible food differs from yours.
"Here, Yami, I'll eat some first-"
"It is rather interesting, sweet and-- It vanished?!"
"Uh-huh. It does that."
"Yami, my friend, let me introduce you to a roller coaster."
"It talks?"
"I've got to see this--"
"I still want to ride the ferris wheel."
"I'll go with you."
Ok, guys, let's meet back here in an hour--"
"Who has a watch?"
"Here, you can have mine."
"It's not pink, is it?"
"Tristan, do I look like the kind of girl who'd wear a pink watch?"

***
"Come on, Seto, I wanna to go again 'cause you can see the whole fairground from the top and everyone looks really, really small, like ants or bugs or-"
"Yes, I am aware of that. Unfortunately."
"Look, Big brother, bumper cars- I wanna try the red dragon. Hurry up--"

***
"Yami, are you ok?"
"Yeah, man, you look kinda green--"
"That was most ... interesting. Excuse me."
"Yuugi, stop laughing. It's not funny."
"-- his face-- s-sorry-- Yami--"

***
"Look, a haunted house--"
"There's no way I'm going anywhere near--"
"It'll be fun."
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I'm going-- who's with me?"
"I'll go."
"Me."
"No way, I'm staying right here."

***
"Big brother, look, games!"
"Oh joy."
"Come on, you said you'd play-"
"Chess, maybe. But this--"
"There's a lot of games, Seto, they gotta have one that you like, you just have to look harder--"
"I only play games when it's possible to win."
"But look at that one-- All you have to do get a ball inside a bucket. That's easy enough--
"Mokuba, look at the physics involved. Given the relative angle of the bucket and--
"But you can win a stuffed dragon. See? I wanna win a dragon; I could put him on my bed."
"Poor dragons, stripped of their pride and stuffed."

***
"Come on, Yami, I'll show you the games."
"What are the large animals for?"
"They're prizes: you win a game and you get to take one home."
"But why would I require one?"
"If you don't want it, it's considered acceptable to give it to a friend."
"Why would they require one?"
"Yami, it's gifts like those that spawned the saying 'it's the thought that counts.'
"But if the thought is all that is required--"
"Hey, Yami, look, they've got stuffed Dark Magicians."
"Really?"

***
"Big brother, do you have more money?"
"Mokuba, I told you it was not possible to win. The odds of actually managing to throw a ball at the precise angle and speed needed to win are not in your favor.
"I win once more and I can get the really, really big dragon."
"Really? I admit I am impressed."

***
"Joey, I'm impressed, you're surprisingly agile. I didn't think it was actually possible to actually climb one of those ladder things."
"Eh. Just takes practice."
"So, Mai, which one of these do you like best?"
"That's really sweet, Joey, and it's a nice thought, but I have to admit, I'm not really much of a stuffed animal person."
"It's not for you, it's for Tea."
"Oh. Well, in that case, I'd go with either the pink bear or the stuffed petit angel."
"Angel it is."
"Good choice."

***
"Look! Look! Isn't he wonderful? I got a blue eyes white dragon, just like yours, Seto. Look, he's bigger than I am."
"You'll need a bigger bed."
"What do you think I should name him? I don't care that he won't fit on my bed, I can sleep with him on the floor."
"Just have Jane put your sheets directly on the dragon."
"Hmmm- I wonder if I could get a dark magician to match--"
"Wouldn't you like to ride the ferris wheel again?"

***
"Who's up for a snack?"
"Where are Joey and Tea?"
"Yeah, I haven't seen them in a while."
"Me either."
"I'm sure they'll be back ... eventually."

***
"Seto, can I get another cotton candy?"
"You already bought three."
"You ate the last two."
"Very well."

***
"Hey, Trist, look, bumper cars."
"Cool, man."
"You guys coming?"
"No way, I've seen you drive."

***
"Look Seto-- a roller coaster!"

***
"I wish to experience the ferris wheel."
"No you don't, trust me."
"Wuss. How can you ride roller coasters and not like ferris wheels?"
"I'm afraid of heights, ok."
"I'll go with you, Yami. See, the real purpose of a ferris wheel is to throw things at the people dumb enough to walk below you. If you aim outwards--"

***
"Come on, Seto, let's go again."

***
That was most enjoyable."
"Wanna go again?"
"I will require another cup of ice cubes."

***
"One more time, please, big brother ..."
"Do we have to?"
"Yes."

***
"Guys, I'm going to get a soda."
"I'll go with you."
"Me too, I'm hungry."


***
Jigen Bakudan
Offer this monster as tribute to destroy all monsters on your side of the field and inflict direct damage equal to one half of your monsters' attack points.
***

"Please, Seto, it's the last time, I promise. Come on, why are you just standing there holding unto the bench?"
"Mokuba, it's time to go. I have work to finish."
"Can I get another soda, first?"
"I suppose. Make it quick. I'll just sit here ..."
"Do you want some more cotton candy?"
"NO! No, I'm fine."

***
At least I don't have to be cheerful, that would be impossible. But, even so, aloof and disdainful isn't much easier. I am cold, so cold, inside and out.
I'm tired of being cold, being alone, afraid. I try to keep from shivering, watching them from a distance, basking in the reflected warmth, the small embers of laughter and conversation thrown my way. They don't see how bright they are-- glowing, burning with warmth. Living fire, light and laughter.
Pathetic, is it not? No doubt. But, still, I find myself edging closer, listening, wishing.
How do they do it? The effortless banter, teasing, the subtle signals, I don't understand any of it. What is the second secret language that the rest of the world seems to speak-- to be born able to speak. Who do I go to to learn it? What do I do to become human? To fit in? When does it become effortless, enjoyable?
I am afraid to try-- to have my stilted attempts falter and fail, to become more alienated than before. Better for them to think my disdain is planned, that I live only for my work.
If I moved a bit closer, I could hear better, perhaps they wouldn't notice. Too close, and the teasing, the Kaiba-baiting will begin again. Too close and their unconscious banter will falter, their eyes will darken, their posture become defensive, and the the taunting will start.
I wish I could understand--
I miscalculated so badly with Pegasus. And again with Mai.
I actually thought she might have been trying to befriend me. I wanted to hope. To believe that the dinners and cookies signified friendship, rather than a desire to brown-nose the boss into shorter hours or a raise.
Fool that I am, I had even started to wonder if perhaps, she wanted me around; that when she brushed against me, it wasn't entirely accidental, when she smiled at me, when she winked at me, she might actually care about me ... just a tiny bit.
I hadn't realized how much I had come to anticipate her presence ...
Besides, her sketches were good.
But how can I reconcile her actions now with the indisputable fact that she was draped across Pegasus' lap, watching?
Why didn't she try to help me?
It doesn't make sense. She had no reason to be involved so passively. No reason to be involved at all, actually. Not unless she belonged to Pegasus, and what's more, shared his eccentric tastes.
It would certainly explain her lack of shame. Her ability to look at me as though nothing happened. I suppose if this was normal behavior for her, if she found it enjoyable, she'd hardly be shamed by it.
I give up. I wonder if I could run KaibaCorp from a remote monastery somewhere. Maybe one that required a vow of silence.
Wonderful. And here comes Mokuba dragging Yami and Tea. Wonder what these fools want?

"Big brother, look who I found-- "
"Kaiba."
"Hey, Kaiba."
"Tea, Yami."
"Seto, guess what-- Mai said she'd go on the roller coaster with me, she says they're her absolute favorite ride. And Tea likes cotton candy too, almost as much as you do, and Tea and Yuugi are going to try to win a stuffed Dark Magician. I could help them."
"Mokuba, we were leaving."
"Kaiba, I'd be happy to watch Mokuba for you."
"Please, I want to ride the roller coaster again."
"Indeed, Kaiba, he would not be burdensome."
"Who has some change? I need another fifty cents--"
"Here, Joey. Now scat: go find Mai or something."
"Hey, hey, hey! It's the great Kaiba, come to mingle with us commoners."
"Look, a mutt running loose. I thought the animals on display had to stay in their cages."
"Kaiba, did Pegasus really give your soul back? Because, frankly, I don't see much of a difference."
"Joey, you know what? I won a dragon-- one of the really, really big ones. You wanna see him?"
"Mokuba, I'm leaving. You may stay if you wish, provided you take a bath when we get home-- you'll need it to get rid of the fleas."
"Hey, Kaiba, I was curious--"
"Joey, let's go-"
"--did Pegasus really make you wash dishes? Or was that snob talk for something else?"
"Come on Joey, you're gonna embarrass your friends--"
"Why Mutt? Curious or jealous?"

***
"Gary, home."
"That's some dragon, Sir."
"It's Mokuba's. Just shove it in the trunk."

***
Stupid, innocent bastard. How much does he suspect, I wonder? And how much more did I inadvertently give away? I suppose they can get together and have a good laugh at my expense. No doubt Mai has all sorts of wonderful stories to share with them. Won't the Mutt enjoy that? Won't they all?
Yuugi and his groupies, out for a day of fun and Kaiba-taunting.
Why am I always the target? Why am I perpetually unwanted, alone? Why am I so different? Why can't I turn my brain off and blindly meander through life like they do? Why can't I be normal? Why can't they accept me? Why is nothing I do ever good enough? Why can't I make anyone happy? No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try--
Different. Always different. Too smart, too tall, too rich, too loud--
I ask too many questions, see deception too quickly, won't shut up, won't shut down, won't fit in, won't parrot answers, won't lie for the common good. Won't waste my time with trivial bull, won't pander to stupidity.
Why am I the outcast? I'm not the one at fault. Sure, I'm the one who broke the curve, but that's only because they were stupid. So I'm smarter than you? Tough. At least you don't spend your life alone, hopelessly outnumbered, pandering to idiots.
You're always going to be alone, Seto. Get used to it. Pegasus was probably the best you'll ever get.
Even if you did manage to find someone who'd tolerate you, who was smart enough to understand you, how would you ever manage to get near them without panicking, without shutting down?
Who'd understand that? You'd alienate them instantly. You can't even manage to sit through a meeting, so how would you ever manage to--
I guess that rules out the possibility of ever even paying for it.
No one will ever want you. No one will touch you, hold you, love you. It's never going to end. You're going to spend the rest of your life alienated, isolated, damaged, and worthless.

***
Wait. Wait a minute.
I'm through scrabbling for crumbs. I don't need you. I refuse to need you. I have the VR, with a bit of hacking--
I'll create my own world. My rules. No fluctuations, no random misinterpretations, no taunting, no pain, loneliness. No one to use me, betray me, misinterpret my actions.
If I make a mistake, if I panic, if I shut down, it doesn't matter. I merely reprogram and start over.

***
It was easier than he thought. Voices and images of Yuugi and his entourage were were still digitized, still saved in the VR system's memory. A bit of programming, some mathematical analysis of their personalities (based on their previous actions in the game), combined with memories gleaned from game conversations, and he had his very own set of digital puppets.
He locked the lab doors, strapped himself in, loaded the program, and entered the virtual world.
Seto walked around them, studying them, as they stood still, asleep, bright bits of colour in the bare, white VR room.
He stretched his hands out, filled with the giddy realization that if he brushed against them, they would awaken, interact.

He reached toward Yami--

"Kaiba."
"Yami."
"Where am I?"
"You're inside a virtual reality program."
"Am I needed for a duel?"
"No ..."
"Then it appears that my presence is not necessary at this time. Goodbye Seto Kaiba."
"Hey ... wait!"

And Yami disappeared in a small puff of smoke that looked oddly like a millennium puzzle.

***

He reached toward Joey, then, smirking, drew his hand back and punched him.

"OW! Why'd you hit me?"
"You deserved it, Mutt."
"I don't have to stay here and listen to this."

And Joey shimmered, shrank, grew fur, and was gone.

***
Yuugi. Yuugi was always a safe choice. Kaiba reached out--

"Yuugi."
"Hey Kaiba, do you know where we are?"
"You're inside a virtual reality program."
"Oh, that's cool. So, I could be anywhere, right?"
"I suppose."
"Wow. You know, I've always wanted to see ancient Egypt."

Yuugi smiled at Kaiba, shimmered, and was gone.

***

Kaiba looked warily at Mai, considering his options. This whole exercise hadn't exactly gone how he had planned. Should he even bother-- Still, he'd gone this far--
He reached out--

"Hello, Seto. How are you, Hon?"
"Mai, is that you?"
"It's a version of me, yes."
"A version?"
"Remember, Seto, you programmed a certain amount of random variance into the program. Everything that happens here is possible, though some events are a bit more probable than others.
"So if I kissed you?"
"Mm. You could always try it and see what happened--"
"No."
"Hon, I can tell you that I wouldn't mind it, but I can't say for certain what the real Mai would do. Speaking strictly mathematically, of course, she wouldn't complain too much."
"I must admit, I find you infinitely preferable to the real Mai."
"Why do you say that?"
"She watched with Pegasus as he-- "
"Is that so? Given Mai's previous behavior patterns, that doesn't seem a particularly probable scenario."
"I saw her sitting there. With him. On him."
"Perhaps there is another reasonable explanation for her behavior."
"Certainly: humiliation, future blackmail."
"That also seems fairly improbable. Unless, of course, there was the possibility that it would net her a very large amount of cash."
"Really. Are you certain you're entirely bug-free?"
"Quite certain. A more probable scenario includes a failed rescue attempt."
"Why would she bother? Why would anyone?"
"Why wouldn't she?"
"No one else ever wanted to help me."
"Past events may influence future ones, but they do not dictate them."
"That sounds like a bloody fortune cookie."
"It was. But, as I recall, she was quite taken with it."
"How can you talk about yourself in third person?"
"Seto Kaiba, I'm a talented and versatile computer program, but I am not Mai Valentine, nor will I ever be. You can ask me for advice, and I will freely give it, You can rant, and I will listen, you can kiss me, and I will respond. But I can not replace the real Mai, nor should I. You're no fool, Kaiba, you know this."
"I know you can't hurt me."
"I can't love you either. Perhaps the real Mai could."
"It's not worth the risk."
"That for you to decide, Seto. But I will tell you this: It's foolhardy to make a decision with only part of the necessary data."
"I thought you were only a computer program."
"And, as such, I am immensely logical."
"But-"
"Enough. It's very late, and it's time for you to go home, Seto."
"No. Please--"
"Do not worry. I will be here when you return. I am programmed to be, after all."
"But-"
"Lie down, close your eyes, slow your breathing and relax. I will wait until you are asleep before terminating the program."

"Mai?"
"I'm still here. Sleep now, Seto Kaiba."


***
Red Medicine
A magic card that increases your life points by 500 points.
***

"Good morning Miss Mai."
"Good morning, Jane. Have you seen Master Kaiba?"
"Not since last evening, Miss."
"Oh?"
"He's been down in the lab all night; you know I don't go down there. That place gives me the creeps."
"I couldn't agree more, Jane, but I have some rather urgent information for him."
"Regarding that computer world of his?"
"Does he ever talk about anything else?"
"I wouldn't know."

"Good Morning, Gary. How are you?"
"I'm fine, Miss Mai."
"Gary, the main and side lab doors are locked from the inside. Is there another way in?"
"If the doors are locked, Miss, I'm sure Master Kaiba doesn't want to be disturbed."
"I'm sure you're right, Gary, and I promise not to bother him. I just want to leave him some information-- it won't fit under the door.
"Uh-huh."
"Please Gary--"
"Leave it with me, I'll make sure he gets it when he comes out."
"All right, scoot over then; I'll just sit here and wait with you."
"You're worried about him, aren't you?"
"Of course not. I just want my paycheck."
"Miss Mai, you're gonna owe me some cookies."
"Deal. Chocolate chip?"
"With nuts this time. The lab has a drop ceiling in order to make cabling easier. Next to the lab is a small storeroom. Here's the key. Remove the ceiling tiles, climb up into the ceiling, across and down into the lab. Be careful-- it's an eight foot drop, and the tiles won't hold your weight. Once you're inside, you can unlock the far left door without setting off the alarm. You can also get to the console that will allow you to override and open the VR pods.
"Thanks, Gary."
"Shall I hum the Mission Impossible theme for you?"
"Nah, better not jinx it."

He's right. I feel like a spy in a b-grade movie. Just what I needed to start my day. I suppose after another cup of coffee this wouldn't seem quite as plausible. But he's not going to hide again. Not this time.

I hope these shelves hold my weight, or I'm going to find out real quick just how good my health plan is. I wonder if this counts as an on-the-job injury. I can just see the paperwork for that one.
Ah, and there he is, all the way in the back-- last pod on the right.

Oh, Seto-- What have you done? You've been crying-- I've never seen you cry. Not even after Pegasus finished-- What twisted nightmare were you reenacting?

Great. Now I'm dreaming about her. I've had vivid dreams, but this is ridiculous. I can smell her perfume, feel her hands in my hair, on my face, hear her voice--

"Seto-- it's time to wake up.
Come on now, wake up."

It's a dream. It's got to be. She said she was going to end the simulation once I slept, but I still hear her. This has got to be some weird bleed over between the VR world and REM sleep. Interesting. The sensations are markedly more pronounced, particularly touch and taste.
Taste? Wait-- I didn't program in taste. It didn't seem particularly revenant for the original hack-and-slay adventure game.
Hm. Perhaps I should consider adding--

"Come on, Princesses only need one kiss to wake them. Princes are larger, though, so I guess it takes more magic. Huh. I'll just have to kiss you again."

She's so warm.

"Mai? What are you doing here?"
"Boy, you have led a sheltered life, haven't you. Kaiba, please talk with me."
"There's nothing to say. What you and Pegasus were doing together is none of my concern."
"Actually, that's not quite true."
"Oh? I don't recall him asking for my permission."
"No, he didn't."
"Well, there you go, then. There's nothing more that needs to be discussed. You can leave now."
"No, I'm not finished yet."
"Yes, I believe you are. And coming down here to try and seduce me into listening to you isn't going to change that. I'm not that desperate. Save it for Pegasus. If you can find him."
"I wasn't trying to seduce you."
"Oh? Than just what does constitute seduction; I'd love to hear your definition."
"Would you prefer me to tell you or show you?"
"At the moment, neither."
"Good, then you'll have plenty of time to listen to me."
"Actually, I'm really rather busy, you see, I fired one of my consultants, and I'm trying to finish her job."
"I'm sure I could finish her job for you."
"You're assuming you have the necessary qualifications."
"Apparently I'm not the only one who assumes things."
"I think you are. I base my deductions on concrete evidence."
"Perhaps your evidence is inaccurate."
"What's inaccurate? You were holding him, sitting in his lap. You were su-."
"Yes. Yes, I was."
"Then I have nothing more to say to you."
"Kaiba, I'm sorry, ok. I did the best I could. I tried to beat him, I was so close, so damn close. I couldn't do it. He knew the cards before I played them; he knew my whole deck. He could read my mind. I'm so sorry, I tried. Maybe if I was Yuugi, ok, but I'm not, I'm not the king of games. Don't think I went willingly to his bed.
"Why did you duel Pegasus?"
"That night, I went to get something to eat. When I found the kitchen, I also found you, washing dishes--"

***
"That's a pretty story. Did it take you a long time to think of it?"
"You don't believe me."
"No, I don't."
"Fine. I give up. You win, Kaiba. I gave you the information, you choose what'll you'll do with it. I wanted to help you. I tried, I failed. So be it; I'll leave now. Goodbye, Seto Kaiba."

***
Ancient Telescope
A magic card that allows you to see the top five cards in your opponent's deck.
***

"Good afternoon, Master Kaiba."
"Gary."
"Jane sent you coffee, donuts and your mail, Sir."
"What's that?"
"Package for Miss Mai, Sir. I thought she was still here."
"Leave it here."
"But sir-"
"That will be all, Gary."
"Yes, Sir."

***
She is my employee; that gives me the right to open her mail. If it was really important she'd have been here to collect it. And she should have been here to collect her mail. Besides, if I open the box carefully, I could reseal it. It's probably art supplies, anyway.
Let's see. Three rather battered Harpy cards. One small envelope. Some medical papers. A note.

***
I have to find Mai.

***
"Turtle Card shop."
"Is Mai there?"
"Who is this?"
"Is Mai there?"
"Yeah, but she said she wanted to be alone. Can I help--? Hello?"
"Who was that?"
"Beats me."
"Where is Mai, anyway?"
"In the back."
"Is she baking cookies?"
"Hey, Mai-- I want peanut butter this time--"
"No, chocolate chip."
"Peanut Butter."
"Chocolate Chip."
"Peanut butter with chocolate chips."
"Hm. Ok."
"Guys, I don't think she's baking cookies."
"Women. Hey, Tea, why don't you bake some--"
"Yeah right-- why don't you?"
"I'll bet we could. Come on, man, how hard can it be?"
"I don't know."
"We'll make some plain peanut butter ones--"

***
"Mai."
"Hey Yami. What do you want?"
"Do you wish to discuss what is wrong?"
"No, not really."
"Would you prefer to talk to Yuugi?"
"No."
"Is there anything that you require?"
"Just hit me over the head and be done with it, ok."
"Mai, that is an odd request, However--"
"Ouch! Hey!"
"Well, you did state--"
"Never mind, just-- I just want to be alone."
"As you wish."

***
"Yuugi."
"Hey, Kaiba."
"Yuugi, are you aware something is burning?"
"I think it's ok, Tristan and Joey said something about making cookies."
"Ah."
"Hey, Yuug, do you have a fire extinguisher? What's he doing here?"
I have a package for Mai, where is she?"
"Why would she trust anything you gave her?"
"It's not from me, Mutt, it was delivered to me."
"Why are you getting Mai's mail?"
"Yeah, who'd you have to bribe for that?"
"The sender was unaware of Mai's address, however, he knew mine. Thus, the package was sent to Mai, via KaibaCorp."
"Who's it from?"
"What's in it?"
"Joey, don't you know it's not polite to read other people's mail."
"You're one to talk, Tea."
"Well, Joey, don't leave your stuff lying around. Here, Kaiba, I'll take it to her."
"Also, remind her of tomorrow's meeting: It is vital that she is present."
"If you say so."
"I do."

***
"Mai I have-- where'd that bruise come from?"
"Yami. I don't think quite understands the concept of figurative speech."
"What?! No!"
"It's not funny!"
"Yes it is. Here, this is for you."
"What's this? Oh. When did it come?"
"Just now, Kaiba brought it."
"Kaiba? Lovely."
"Mai, what's wrong?"
"I think I'm going to head home, Tea."
"Also, Kaiba told me to remind you about tomorrow's meeting."
"Oh?"
"He said 'it is vital that she is present'. Like the world's gonna end if you don't go to one meeting."
"I'll make a note of it."
"Are you sure you're all right?"
"Honestly, Tea! What do you think?"
"Well, if there's anything I can do-"
"Yeah, yeah; I'll let you know. Thanks."

***
Hey-- this has been opened. Wonderful, now he's reading my mail. Jerk. We've moved on to a whole new level of distrust.
The papers I asked for. I didn't think they'd actually send them. Guess he must have felt slightly guilty. But-- what's this?

Dear Miss Valentine-

Greetings. I hope this letter finds you as well as can be expected. I apologize for sending this care of the Kaiba estate. However, as your place of residence is unknown to me, and word has reached me that you are currently consulting for KaibaCorp, it is my sincere hope that the capable staff therein can forward this to you with a minimum of effort.
Enclosed are three Duel Monster cards found within Pegasus' personal suite. Since Pegasus' deck, to the best of my knowledge, does not contain harpy cards, I can only assume they are yours, and am, therefore, returning them.
I am also enclosing a card from my own collection-- The White Queen. Although her attack and defense points are not extraordinary, she possesses the unique ability to deflect an attack from within her player's deck. I trust the meaning of my gift will not be lost on you.
As requested, I am also enclosing pertinent medical information for Maximillion Pegasus. I anticipate you should have no difficulties, outside of the normal physical and mental recovery time that can be expected due to your nocturnal activities.
Your friend should have no complications. My examination confirmed your statement; excessive amounts of protection were used, thus the possibility for any unexpected contamination is remote.
I am truly sorry that, in spite of your best efforts, you were unable to prevent the activities that ensued. Your dueling skill is noteworthy, if a bit unorthodox, and I hope to challenge you, under less dire circumstances, at a future time.
You should, however, take comfort in the fact, that, although you could not prevent the night's activities, your presence no doubt migrated some of the more excessive reveling, since the damage sustained by both you and your friend was, while no doubt painful, ultimately not fatal.
I offer my sincerest wishes for your quick recovery, both physical and mental. If I can be of service to you in the future, please don't hesitate to ask, and I will do what I can to assist you.

***


"Hello Seto Kaiba. How can I help you?"
"Mai. Your data was correct. I have evidence that she was trying to rescue me."
"I thought as much, Seto. It was, after all, the most probable scenario."
"She failed."
"Yes. I suspect she feels quite badly about that, actually."
"She got hurt."
"Yes. As did you."
"Is she all right?"
"Are you, Seto Kaiba?"
"No."
"Well then."

"But why did she do it?"
"That, Seto, is something you will have to ask her. Her decision were not logical. But then, neither was your decision to rescue Mokuba, or Yuugi's decision to rescue his Grandfather."
"My decision was logical. Mokuba is my brother. I am responsible for him. I love him."
"Perhaps Mai's motives were similar."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"Seto, I am a program, and therefore, by default, incapable of being ridiculous. I you feel there is an error in my calculations, I suggest you check my code."
"Great. Just what the world needs. A sarcastic computer program."
"I assure you, I am incapable of being sarcastic."
"If you continue to be cheeky, I will delete you."
"If you feel it would be beneficial, Seto, that is, of course, your privilege."
"Goodnight Mai. End program"
"Goodni--"


***
Respect Play
A trap card that requires each player to show their opponent the cards in their hand.
***

"Good morning, Sir."
"Tell me, my old friend, what do you think of this note?"
"Sir, with all due respect, I'm not sure you're strong enough to attempt--"
"Perhaps not. But she won't know that."

***
"I'm here for the meeting, as requested."
"Mai."
"Kaiba."
"Why did you do it?"
"Here, Kaiba, have some coffee."
"Why? What did you get out of it?"
"Some bruises, a few sore muscles. A violent hatred for gold eyeballs."
"Mai, why did you came charging in to rescue me?"
"If you want to put it that way, I suppose--"
"How dare you!"
'What?!"
"Who gave you the right to be the deux ex machina? Who gave you the right to decide to mitigate my suffering? Pegasus humiliated me, true, but I had fought bravely, I had failed honorably. You disgraced me."
"I didn't want to see you in pain."
"The pain was nothing. I could have bourn it. And I did. But how do I regain my honor?"
"Wait. Shouldn't you be angry at Yuugi, then?"
'Perhaps. But I'm not. He dueled to save his Grandfather. Mokuba and I were a bonus, an afterthought, the result of good negotiation. That I can respect."
"I'm sorry, Kaiba. It appears that I have made a severe miscalculation. I humbly request that you give me some time to consider my actions in this matter."
"Don't be snide."
"I'm not. It's just-- This wasn't quite what I was expecting. I don't know what to say, and I don't want to make it any worse. I think I'd better leave now."

***
"Hey, Big Brother, I'm home."
"Hello, Mokuba. How was school?"
"It was ok. Look--"
"What are these?"
"Mai sent you these because she was at Yuugi's Grandfather's shop when I went by to say hi to Yuugi and look at the new cards. She said she was sending them to you 'cause you needed them to finish the game. Is it done yet?"
"Not quite."
"When will it be done? Are you going to work on it right now? Can I help? Can I play it? Can I be a grown-up character?"
"Soon, no, yes, if your homework is done, yes, if you wish, and who gave you sugar?"
"I helped Joey make cookies, he's been practicing. But didja see this one-- Mai did one of me. Look, she drew armor and a sword and she was going to draw me a horse to ride on but I said I didn't really like them and that I wanted a dragon and she said she didn't have enough room on the paper, but that she'd draw the tail and finish him properly on another sheet.
But then she ran out of time and had to go somewhere so she said she'd bring him by for me tomorrow. Can we hang him on my wall, Big Brother, after you're done with him?
"I suppose."
"How come Mai doesn't come here to work anymore?
"It's not your concern, Mokuba."
"That's not what she said."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, she said you didn't need her anymore. So then I asked why not and she said because there wasn't anything more she could do for you. And I asked why was she still finishing all the sketches. And she said because she always finished what she started. And then she looked really sad, Seto, and said she had to use the bathroom. And I think maybe she was crying 'cause when she came back her face was all red, and her make-up was streaky on the edges.
"Mm."
"I don't see why she couldn't come over once in a while and help me test the games even if you don't need her to need her to do any more sketches for this game, you'll be working on another one pretty soon, and she could get started ahead of time and that way she wouldn't be too rushed and maybe she'd have time to finish my dragon and still get some sleep because she looked really tired."
"I'll consider it. What would you like for dinner?"

***
"Seto."
"Yami. What brings you here?"
"Mai."
"What has she said?"
"Nothing. She's been strangely quiet, in fact. She is worried about you."
"Mm."
"What happened to you after you lost the duel with Pegasus?"
"You mean while you were off saving the world?"
"No. Before that."
"Mai decided to play God for me."
"Oh?"
"She attempted to defend my honor and failed.
"I see. Kaiba.
"What?"
"No matter how strong you are, eventually you will encounter something that breaks you. Being broken is not what makes you weak. Weakness is the stubborn refusal to continue the duel if you dislike the hand you were dealt.
"The duel is over. I failed."
"Perhaps it's time to reshuffle your deck and start over."
"How can I do that, knowing that I failed; that I may very well fail again?"
"How can you refuse, knowing that you may win?"
"It's too hard; there's no point."
"As long as you feel that way, my friend, you have already lost."

***
"How are you Mai?"
"I've been better, Yuugi."
"Yami says you have to go and talk to Kaiba again."
"I think not."
"He says to tell he'll 'hit you over the head and be done with it' if you don't. Although I'm not too sure what he meant by that."
"Tell him I said to go for it."


***
Curse of Fiend
A magic card that reverses the battle positions of all monsters on the field during the turn it is played.
***

"Hey, Boss."
"Mai-- You look awful."
"Well, that's what a night of coffee and introspection does to you. Here, I brought you a cup."
"But is there coffee in it?"
"Ha. Kaiba, I think we need to talk. Again."
"What-- do I look like Tea?"
"No, if you were Tea, I'd have brought nail polish."
"What, no earmuffs?"
"Those too. I've been thinking--"
"Well, that was your first mistake."
"What happened that night was horrible."
"It took you all night to come up with that? The Mutt must be rubbing off on you."
"What if Pegasus had a valid idea? What if people really were happier with their souls removed?"
"Pity the soulless aren't coherent enough to offer their views on the subject."
"Once Pegasus took your soul you became docile, contented. You would have willingly followed him anywhere."
"No. Behind the contentment, there was always fear. Fear of his caprice."
"Nevertheless, you were dependent on him for your life, but that was all right--
He would care for you; he was older and wiser and could care for you better than you could care for yourself.
Besides, you would be loved, accepted, part of the group, never alone.
It would be simple, cotton-candy happiness, true, but no doubt Pegasus would argue that that's happiness in its' purest form."
"Cotton candy. Ugh."
"I thought Mokuba said you liked cotton candy."
"Only the first three cones."
"Pig. You'd be simply happy, lost in child-like worship, and surrounded by people equally dependent; equally worshipful."
"Obsequious."
"Either way. Pegasus would remind you continually, that without him there would be evil, there would be dissension and fear, people would get hurt.
And remember if you followed him there would be no pain; there would only be happiness.
Without his guidance, the strong and rebellious would destroy themselves--"
"Out of sheer disgust, no doubt."
"--while the weak and rebellious would destroy each other.
Those left, weak and miserable, would cower, and crawl back fawning, begging him to make them happy, ignorant-- to save them from themselves."
"I refuse to tolerate that. I make my own choices."
"That requires free will."
"Yes."
"But free will comes both good and evil. Evil causes loneliness, fear, destruction. Evil results in Pegasus and his twisted ideas of after dinner entertainment."
"Well, that's why you have someone powerful and intelligent around, to negate the evil."
"But if he went around negating evil, you wouldn't have complete freedom to make decisions-- you're back to puppet-land."
"Hm. Perhaps partial soullessness--"
"And who would you make soulless?
"The people who didn't deserve to have souls."
"One might argue that that's what we have now-- the weak don't have the power to change their lives, and the strong rule over them."
"It doesn't sound so bad when you put it that way ..."
"Only if you're part of the ruling class."
"I could force the one in charge to negate the evil."
"He can't interfere."
"But I can."
"Exactly. You can make the free choice to do good."
"I could do something good in order to benefit from it."
"Yes, but the end result is the same-- good is done, and done freely, without outside interference."
"But you're not the one in charge. You had no right to interfere with my free will. Or try to defend my honor."
"I've thought about that too."
"Lucky me."
"More coffee?"
"Yes."
"Sheesh, Kaiba-- would you like some coffee with that sugar?"
"If you insist."
"I do. Here. Now, if you're hurt just a little bit, let's say (for example) you hit your head on the door--
"They should make higher door sills."
"--it's not a big deal, maybe you grumble a bit, but you shake it off and go on with your life-- you don't need any help dealing with it."
"Ok."
"Now, suppose you're stuck in a burning house--"
"What would I be doing in a burning house?"
"Would you prefer a freezing river?"
"Would the two negate each other?"
"No."
"Fine. Burning house, then. But only for the sake of the argument."
"Ok, you're stuck in a burning house--"
"And I call the fire department."
"But you required outside help, you didn't worry about honor or even dignity, you worried only about survival."
"I would have survived without your help."
"Perhaps so. It appears that I miscalculated the severity of the situation. I am sorry, I only meant to help. Now, shall we move unto costuming?"
"Wait. You still haven't given me a valid explanation for your actions."
"Yes I have."
"No you haven't, you've given me abstractions. Why did you choose to involve yourself in that particular situation?"
"Please don't ask me to answer that."
"So you don't have an acceptable answer?"
"I have an answer, it remains to be seen whether it was an acceptable one."
"Now that you've managed to pique my curiosity--"
"We'll move unto costuming. I have several ideas that marketing liked--"


***
De-Spell
Destroys one magic card on the field.
***

"That's not my phone."
"No, it's mine, Boss. Hello?"
"Mai, where are you?"
"Still at work, Tea, a girl's gotta eat--"
"But it's after five, and we've got major shopping to do."
"I'm on my way."
"I hope KaibaCorp is paying you overtime, 'cause you're buying dinner, and I'm picking a nice restaurant this time."
"I hear you, I'm going."

"Hey, Boss, I'm out of here. Don't look at me like that: dragging your friends with you when you go shopping is a fine and long-standing feminine tradition."
"Who got stuck taking her out?"
"Joey. They're supposed to be doing the dinner and a movie thing, but if I know Tea, they'll end up going dancing."
"How did the Mutt manage to get a date?"
"I would assume he asked her. That's usually the way it works."
"Ah."
"Don't worry, Kaiba, I promise to pass along any embarrassing details. Have a good one, Hon. I'm gone."

***
"Good evening, Miss, I believe your friend is already waiting for you."
"Thank you."
"Hey, Mai."
"Hi Tea. How are you?"
"I have a list of stuff we need to buy. I think if we can finish the clothes tonight, we'll have enough time tomorrow to get shoes and still do make-up and hair."
"Tea--"
"I figured we'd hit the mall first, then if I didn't find anything I liked we go boutiqueing."
"Tea, don't you think you're going a bit overboard on this? I mean, it's Joey." "This is different."
"I don't see how-- you weren't dressed up at the fair, and he certainly seemed to enjoy spending time with you then."
"Mai, someday I'm going to make sure you eat those words."
"Yeah, yeah. I'll remind you I said them if I ever have time to date again. Fine, three hours, no more."
"How come? It's still early."
"I've got a limited mall tolerance, you know that. Besides I've got work to do tonight."
"You're turning into Kaiba."
"Well, if I spring for a leather duster you can start to worry. If you want desert, I'll split something with you."
"Only if it's something chocolate. You like him, don't you?"
"Do you want the triple fudge cake or the chocolate peanut butter pie?"
"Cake, I think."

***
"Hey Yuug."
"Joey, how are you?"
"Nervous. I'm supposed to be meeting Tea here."
"She's here, but she's still getting ready-- said something about using my hair gel."
"Yuugi, what are you supposed to do on a date?"
"Shouldn't you be asking Tristan about that?
"I did, but he wasn't very helpful. He said if I had to ask, I didn't need to know."
"Hi, Mai."
"Hello boys, Tea's almost ready. Be sure and tell her how pretty she looks, Joey. You don't want to know how long it took us to find the perfect outfit. "
"'Ok. Mai, you're a girl--"
"Last I checked."
"What am I supposed to do on a date?"
"Joey, if you have to ask--"
"You're no help."
"Look, Hon, I'll tell you the same thing I told Tea. You two are friends, just go out and have fun and don't worry about trying to impress each other."
"I guess--"
"And remember, we'll all be waiting here for the embarrassing details."
"Great."
"Joey, I'm ready."
"Tea. You look-- wow."
"Is that good?"
"Come on, Tea, he's drooling; what more do you want? Joey, Hon, close your mouth."
"You look pretty, Tea."
"Thanks, shall we go?"
"Have fun kids, don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"Well, that leaves the playing field wide open."
"Thanks a lot, Yuugi."

***
"Uh? H'lo?"
"Mai? Is that you?"
"Tea? Wha- time--?"
"Uhm-- It's only two am."
"Two? Where are you? Are you ok?"
"I just got home."
"How was it?"
"Absolutely marvelous, you want to hear about it?"
"Sure. I'm jus' gonna clos' my eyes an' listen."

***
"Mai? Mai? Are you there?"
" ... uh-huh...."
"So what do you think?"
" ... won'ful. G'nigh'..."
"Mai? MAI? Are you sleeping? Mai?"

***
The Inexperienced Spy
A magic card that allows you to select and see one card in your opponent's hand.
***

"Morning Boss."
"Mai. You're here early."
"Eh. Had some stuff to work on."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, got stuck doing concept art for the promo posters."
"What have you done so far?"
"A few prelim sketches. Here; tell me what you think--"
"How successful was Tea's date?"
"To be honest, I really have no idea."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, I kinda fell asleep during her report. It's not funny-- she called at an ungodly hour and insisted on analyzing the evening in great detail."
"So you will remain blissfully uninformed through sheer dumb luck?"
"On the contrary, she'll rehash and agonize over the evening incessantly. At least until Joey asks her out again."
"Is this normal female behavior?"
"Yeah. But I assure you I participate in it under much duress."
"So you choose not to discuss your dates?"
"Pretty much. Why? Curious?"
"On a purely intellectual level."
"Of course. So tell me, which designs do you like? Marketing wants to go with green, purple and grey colour scheme."
"But you would mention it, if you were dating someone, wouldn't you?"
"Yes I would. And no I'm not. Perhaps if anyone bothered to ask me; are you going to get the phone, or should I?"
"Kaiba. What do you want?"

***
"Hi, Mai, whatcha doing?"
"Working on promo posters for the VR adventure game. What are you doing?"
"Seeing what you're doing."
"Did you get your dragon picture? I left it with Jane."
"Uh-huh. And she hung it on the wall for me."
"Mokuba, you're part of our target audience-- what do you think of these posters?"
"They need dragons."
"Ok. What else?"
"Lots of dragons, breathing fire and trying to roast people and a knight on a horse toasting marshmallows."
"That would certainly be memorable."
"And you could make the words all fiery, and the corners of the paper look all burned up."
"Hm. Would you like to help me draw it?"
"Can I draw the fire?"
"Of course."
"You have to do the dragon, though, 'cause your dragons look all real and scary."
"Ok. What do you think of this one?"
"No, it needs to be bigger, and white, with blue eyes.
"Mokuba, I don't want trademark issues here--"
"How 'bout silver, then?"
"Silver works. How's this?"
"The knight needs to look a bit scared."
"....ok.... One scared knight."
"He's silly. Now do the houses in the background."
"Mai?"
"Yes, Mokuba?"
"Do you like my brother?"
"Why are you asking me this?"
" 'Cause I wanna know. Duh."
"What do you think of that house?"
"That looks ok."
"Now Oh Great Fire Drawing Artist, add in the fire."
"Ok. Why haven't you answered me?"
"I changed the subject; you weren't supposed to notice."
"Uh-huh. That's what Seto does when he doesn't want to answer me."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, and then I have to tickle him."
"Kaiba's ticklish?"
"I'll even tell you where when you answer."
"Great, bribery."
"Come on Mai, I can keep a secret."
"I'm sure you can, but will you?"
"Ah-ha. You would have just answered if you didn't like him. And now you're blushing."
"Hey!"
"That's all I needed to know, Mai."
"Well, fine. Can we finish this, now that you've extracted your information from me."
"Ok."


***
Swordsman From a Foreign Land
Level one monster. Attack: 250 Defense: 250. Any Monster attacked by this card will be destroyed five turns later.
***

He's fallen asleep working again. No matter how many times I try to get him to stop, no matter what I do, he never stops. I'm not even sure he can stop anymore. I know he works because then he doesn't have to think about anyone or anything. I wonder what's bothering him this time.

"Big Brother, you need to wake up."
" 'm up."
"Good. Now, go to bed."
" Ina min' Mokuba, Jus' got a few more--"
"Seto, WAKE UP!"
" 'm awa'. "
"No you're not."

Forget it. He can just sleep there and get his neck all messed up, see if I care. If I move his precious papers, I can shove a pillow-- Where'd I put that blanket? I've gotta find something to distract him. This can't go on, he's gonna kill himself.
Besides, if he stops working so much he'll have more time to spend with me.

"Big brother, you gotta get a girlfriend or something. Tea's dating Joey. What do you think of Mai?"
"....'s annoy'...."
"Then she'll be perfect for you. You can go back to sleep now."
" ... uh..."

I know it's gonna annoy him, but I've got to try something. And Mai seems pretty nice, and she likes him, she'll probably play along. Especially if she thinks it's his idea. I wonder--
I'll bet I can get Yuugi to help me set this up.

***
"Hey Yuugi."
"Mokuba! How are you?"
"I'm ok, I guess. I was thinking, maybe you could help me with something."
"What's that?"
"I'm trying to get Seto a date."
"Mokuba, that's really sweet. But he's not my type-- I mean, I'm not-- I don't really have time to date anyone right now."
"Not with you, silly."
"Oh. Well. In that case, I'd be happy to help you."
"See, this is what I'm thinking--"

***
"Hey Gary."
"Master Mokuba. How are you sir?"
"I was wondering if you'd help me. See--"

***
"Yuugi?"
"Just a moment, Mokuba, I'll go and retrieve him."
"No, that's ok, Yami. Maybe you ought to be in on this too."
"What 'this' are you referring to?"
"Well, see, I'm trying to get a date for Seto, and Yuugi and I were thinking that--"
"I am sorry, Mokuba, I am afraid I am unable to help you in the manner you request."
"Sheesh! What is it with you guys? No, I wanna get Seto and Mai together."
"Oh."
"And I was thinking that if we--"

***
"Hello?"
"Hey Mai, guess what, guess what?"
"What?"
"Joey asked me out again."
"Tea, that's-- wow. I know you guys will have a great time."
"Wanna go shopping with me tonight?"
"I'd like to, really. But I've got some work that's--"
"Honestly, Mai, that's all you ever do anymore."
"Sorry."
"I'll bet Yuugi would go with me."
"Why don't you get Joey to go with you and you can have a pre-date date."
"Hmm-- You know, that just might work--"
"I have to go, Tea. Have fun, ok."

***
"Miss Mai, mail."
"Thanks Gary, just set it in the inbox."
"Miss Mai, Master Kaiba finds your work most satisfactory."
"Oh?"
"Yes. You needn't spend additional time in the office."
"I see."
"Go home, Miss Mai. It's late."
"I will, eventually."

***
Wow, it really is late. I'll just flip through the mail, then I'll go. By that time it'll be too late to stop by the game shop.
Really-- I'm not avoiding you guys, honest, it's just, you know, work and all--
Not like anyone will notice I'm not there, anyway.
Bill, bill, bill: those all go to finance. Junk mail, bill, junk, junk, Gary! you may have already won--. Yeesh, Garry, why'd you bother to bring me this drivel-- but, who's bothering to write me a letter? Don't recognize the handwriting--

My Dearest Mai,
Do you think of me often? Oh, I do hope so. I'd hate for the time we spent together to have been ... unmemorable.
Don't think I've forgotten you, chere. Oh no, I could never forget such vibrance, such spirited passion.
And now, to business.
Tell me, have you been successful in your quest to save your precious Kaiba-boy? Have you managed to lure him into your ... arms?
My sources tell me you have not, but of course, Mai darling, I know much goes on behind the cold, sterile walls of KaibaCorp that I am not aware of.
For the moment, anyway.
Remember, Mai dear, there are many people who are interested in you and your friends. And not all of them are as generous and kind-hearted as I am.
Do be careful, dearest, keep your eyes open, and don't forget to practice your .... dueling skills.

Maximillion Pegasus

***
***
***
Magical Hats
A magic card that allows your monster to hide under one of three hats. Your opponent must attack the correct hat in order to destroy your monster.
***

"Mai?"
"Hey Yuugi, how are you?"
"I'm ok. Are you angry at me?"
"No, of course not. Why on earth would you think that?"
"Well, I never see you anymore ...."
"I'm sorry, Yuug. It's nothing personal. I've just-- Work's been really chaotic."
"But you'll come by the store tonight, right?"
"I really don't have the time."
"Please Mai, we haven't seen you in so long. We're worried about you. You wouldn't have to stay long: just for a few minutes. Grandpa's been asking for you, and he hasn't been feeling so good lately ..."
"All right Yuugi, I'll come by and see you guys. I can't stay too long, though."
"How soon do you think you can get here?"
"I don't know, maybe a half hour from now. Why?"
"I figured the least we could do was make you dinner. Six then?"
"I suppose."

***
"Nothing like pure guilt to make manipulation easy."
"I agree, Yuugi; now it's my turn."
"I'll go start dinner."
"Don't you want to hear this?"
"Yes, but I'd better not. I mean, what would happen to the plan if I laughed?"

***
"Hello?"
"Hey big brother."
"Mokuba, where are you? You're supposed to be home."
"I'm sorry, Seto, I'm here at the game shop with Yuugi."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, he's been helping me with my homework."
"I told you I was willing to help you."
'Well, you were so busy with the new VR game; I didn't want to bother you."
"Mokuba--"
"It's ok, really. Yuugi's a good teacher."
"But--"
"And he said anytime I didn't understand something he was more than willing to help me."
"It's time for you to come home, Mokuba."
"I know, but it's starting to get dark. And it's raining. I really don't want to walk home. I guess I could see if Tristan could give me a ride home--"
"I'll send Garry with the limo--"
"He wasn't feeling good, so I told him he could have the afternoon off.
"What?!"
"Well, I didn't want him getting sick in the car. I mean, you just had it cleaned and all ..."
"When will you be finished?"
"Six. Maybe fifteen after."
"I'll be waiting outside the game shop at six-fifteen. Be ready."
"Thanks, Seto."

***
"Piece of cake. Yuugi, he'll be here at six-fifteen."
"Good. Now all we have to do is--"

***
Great, I come all the way down here, in the rain no less, and the store's dark. Ok, so I'm a couple minutes late, but still, it's only eight after.
What's this? 'Out of sweet rolls; went to get more. Go ahead and go inside.' Since when are sweet rolls a vital part of dinner?
He could've called me; I would've have picked some up on my way here. Guess I might as well go in and see if I can set the table or something while I wait. Almost got it-- At least that way I'll be out of the rain. And there we go, this one gets easier every time.

Oh, that's nice: they set out the good china. It's been so long since I've eaten out of anything but a carry-out box. Let's see- what still needs to be done? I suppose I can finish the salad-- I'll just turn on the radio--

***
Mokuba, where are you? I said six-fifteen, in front of the game shop, which, of course, (according to the hours posted) closes at six. Wonderful. No wonder everything is dark. You'd think they could've kept the shop open an extra fifteen minutes. Wait-- is that a light in the back room? Perhaps the back door is open. Ah, good.
Candles? China? What sort of nonsense is this?

***
Mystic Box
A Trap card that destroys your opponent's monster in place of your own.
***

"Mai. I should have known."
"Known what? Wait-- Kaiba, what are you doing here?"
"I'm collecting Mokuba. You?"
"I'm supposed to be having dinner with Yuugi and his Grandfather."
"Interesting how the table's set for two."
"I was a bit late, guess they didn't think I'd actually make it."
"Right. Where's Mokuba?"
"Haven't seen him, maybe he went with Yuugi for the sweet rolls."
"What are you doing?"
"Finishing the salad. Taste?"
"No."
"You know, Kaiba, there's plenty of food. I'm sure you and Mokuba could stay for dinner--"
"No."
"It might not be so bad."
"You have no idea how bad it would be. I'll wait outside."
"In the rain?"
"In the car."

"Mai, did you lock the back door?"
"No, I thought it was locked. I came in through the shop."
"It's locked now; bolted from the outside."
"Well, go out through the shop door, then. Wait--"
"Yes?"
"Get me the roll of paper towels, will you. My hands have dressing on them."
"Here."
"Thanks--"

"Are you sure you came in through the front door?"
"Yeah, why?"
"It's locked."
"So open it."
"There's a chain through both doors, on the outside."
"Weird. Do you want to try a window or something?"
"They're all too small."
"Oh, Kaiba, chill. I'm sure Yuugi and Mokuba will be back in a few minutes. How long can it take to buy sweet rolls? Besides, it's freezing out there, you might as well wait inside the store where it's warm."

***
"Hello? Turtle Game Shop."
"Yuugi? Where are you?"
"Where is he? Where's Mokuba?"
"Calm down Kaiba-- Yuug, what's going on?"
"It's ok, Mokuba is fine, Kaiba. He and Yuugi are at Joey's house. Said it was raining too badly for them to come home.
Wait-- What do you mean he's out of town? But you invited me for dinner, you said your Grandfather wanted to see--"
"Ask him-- No, give me the phone.
Yuugi, I must speak with Mokuba.
Mokuba, where are you? What? Why aren't you here?
What do you mean 'have a nice dinner alone with Mai if it kills you'?"

"Mai, what do you know about this?"
"Nothing, honest. Really. Don't look at me like that-- if I had been planning this, I wouldn't have made salmon. I hate salmon. Nevertheless, it appears we are stuck here until we have dinner."
"Great."
"Come on, Kaiba, it won't be that bad. I think I brought my bag in. We can eat quickly and discuss software marketing, just like always. I think I can find some paper plates if that'll make you feel more comfortable."
"What else would you want to talk to me about?"
"Lots of things. For example, I heard there was a simulated Mai running around in one of the VR rooms."
"Nonsense, one Mai is more than enough."
"Quality over quality, always a good choice, but, unfortunately, you forgot to modify the menus. I take it this means you're planning to knock me off and give her my job?"
"It's a possibility, particularly if you keep questioning me."
"It's noted. Here. Eat something."
"This actually isn't too bad."
"Except for the salmon, anyway."
"Here, I'll eat yours."

***

"We've eaten and cleaned up. Why won't they let us out?"
"Jonesing for your laptop?
"Yes."
"It's not my fault you left it in the car. Maybe they're waiting for us to do something cheesy and romantic."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"Well, if you'd prefer, we could always plot our revenge."
"I'd like to stay out of jail, thank you."
"Look, they have to come back to open the store tomorrow. How do we want them to find us?"
"Long gone."
"And if that's not an option?"
"I'm not going to seduce you just because Yuugi and Mokuba locked us up in a cheesy romantic setting."
"So if they hadn't locked us up in a cheesy romantic setting, you'd seduce me? Oh, had they but known! Kaiba, listen. Everyone is doing backflips to get us alone together. You ought to admire their effort, even if you don't appreciate the end results. And if you're not interested in ... getting together, that's not a huge problem, but you probably need to make that generally known. Although, I suspect Mokuba won't stop bothering you until you're actually seeing someone. I think he worries about you."
"And you don't?"
"I never said that."

***
"Kaiba, you've been staring at the same page for the last fifteen minutes. Whatcha thinking about?
"I'm reading."
"It's manga. What's to read?"

***
What if I kissed her?
When's the punch-line? When will they start laughing?
Why won't they finish their idiotic plan so I can go home? Perhaps that's the joke: watching me look over my shoulder all night.

***
"Kaiba, it's getting late. I'm gonna go to sleep."
"Ok."
"Just a thought ... It would make my life a lot easier if you gave me some kind of clue as to what you're thinking."
"How's this?"

"Not bad. But your language isn't up to its' usual high standard ... I think maybe you'd better repeat .... mmm."

"Maybe once more ... just for clarification purposes."
"Of course."

***
"Shh, guys, be quiet. They're sleeping."
"Together?"
"I wanna see."
"Nope, sorry."
"Hey--"
"They're not together-- Kaiba's on the couch, Mai's on my bed."
"Wonder if anything happened?"
"You think I'd tell you if it did?"
"Mai! Uhm--"
"Joey, I'm sure that was merely idle speculation on your part; not a request for details-- fictitious or otherwise."
"Where's Kaiba?"
"He's still asleep. Let him be."


***
Epilogue - Rain of Mercy
A magic card that adds 1000 life points to both players' score.
***
He was diving deep, and deeper, lungs burning, the water around him dark and grimy. This time he would touch the bottom. Blindly he reached out, hands grasping, clutching a double handful of sharp stones. Then, up, up, as the water grew lighter, glass green, champagne pale, flying upward, panting, gasping, gulping in soft, sweet-smelling air.
"Big brother! You did it! I knew you could do it! No one's ever managed to-- Oh big brother! They're so pretty-- look!"
He looked down at his hands, pale and dripping, full of shiny sparkle.
"Here you are, as requested."
"Oh big brother, thank you. They're perfect."

***
"I'm gonna get you Big brother!"
"Oh, are you now-- Hey-- stop-- No! No tickling! That's cheating!"
"I got you! I got you! Catch me! Betcha can't catch me!"
"I've got him. I'll hold him, Mokuba-- you tickle."
"Two against one-- that's not fair."
"You're right, it's not. Whatcha going to do about it?"
"Hey-- not my clothes! Where are you going with those, Mai Valentine?! Don't you dare!"
"Oops! Clumsy me."
"You two are evil."
"Yep."
"Uh-huh."

***
"Come on, Mokuba, let's swim. We'll let him sulk on the rock for a while."
"I am not sulking, I'm dozing."
"Sure you are."
"Betcha you can't catch me, Mai."
"Betcha I can--"


***
He lay on the sun-warmed rock, feet hanging in the water, watching the sun filter green through the leaves, feeling the breeze rustling through his hair. Mokuba and Mai swam around him, laughing, teasing him, splashing him when he started to dry off. He had never felt this peaceful.
It couldn't last, he thought, and tensed, waiting for the horrible moment when he'd wake up cold and alone.

He waited, but it never came.