Fixation

Chapter 9

Jou felt stupid for feeling like things had snuck up on him. He had read the signs and symptoms; he knew that his father was dying. But he hadn’t expected to wake up and find his father already in the early stages of rigor mortis. He had expected months of sitting next to a hospital bed, two or three rounds of reassuring hospital and city social workers that he was coping just fine, and a few horrible days once his dad finally slipped into a coma.

He had not expected to be angry. He’d expected grief, sure, and pain, but not anger. But anger was the only emotion that filtered through the haze that had enveloped him that morning. He was angry at his father for always acting like a controlling bastard, right up to the end. He was angry at the Nakamuras for the way they exchanged quiet glances, which Jou knew meant they each thought it was the only decent thing Jou’s old man had ever done for him. Most of all, though, he was angry at the world. He was angry because life seemed to go on all around him as though nothing had happened. Kids still walked down the street smiling and laughing, businessmen in suits still rode the bus with their faces buried in open newspapers, and downtown Domino still bustled just as it always had. Even his own body insisted on being disrespectful by demanding that the mundane aspects of his own life—like eating, sleeping, and going pee—still happened.

And he was absolutely furious at the fact that his fate now seemed to have been decided without anyone bothering to consult with him at all. He had every intention of staying by his old man’s side. He was going to be there, to be a good son. He wasn’t going to run off to school in America and abandon his dad. But the old bastard had taken away that choice. The Nakamuras had already started arranging a respectable funeral and talked about flying to the States with him in August to help him get settled in his dorm room. And, damn it all, he couldn’t possibly say no. His father had taken his own life so Jou could have this chance, and Tenchi had very tactfully pointed out that there would be nothing more dishonorable to his dad’s memory than to let that sacrifice be for nothing.

When the Nakamuras wished him a good night and left him sitting on the large western style bed in their guestroom, Jou couldn’t help feeling like he’d been played. He felt like the Nakamuras and his dad had somehow conspired against him, forcing him into doing what they thought was best for him. He felt like they were acting as if he were some baby who needed them to make decisions for him. He was not going to dishonor his dad, but he also wasn’t going to start his life with Sakura-san holding his hand, dictating what school his father would be proud of him for attending, and Tenchi-san telling his that he should honor his dad’s suffering and memory by going into medicine. His dad had died to give him the chance to live his own life, and that was what Jou intended to honor. He was going to make his own choices, and whatever he managed to do with his life was going to be through his effort—not through the charity of anyone else.

That meant leaving Domino. It meant leaving his friends, his sister, the Nakamuras, and Kaiba and striking out on his own. That was easier to think about than to accomplish. He had no money, no car, and no idea where he was going to go. But, his fate was his own to decide. And one decision he had already made was that he would not leave Domino without at least one night of memories with Kaiba to look back upon. So he took everything he owned, which consisted of his backpack and its contents, and slipped out the Nakamura’s back door. Kaiba’s mansion was only a few blocks away and Jou made it to the gate outside just a few minutes after ten. He waited outside the gate, assuming that Seto would return home as soon as he realized that Jou wasn’t at the school. Hours later, Jou was wondering if Seto had bothered going to the school at all.

If Seto had stood him up, Jou would just have to confront him about it. It wasn’t like he had time to pout about feeling neglected, spend a few weeks avoiding the bastard, then track him down and start this whole mess all over again with another fight. He would just have to march into the Kaiba mansion and deal with the bastard. Of course, he hadn’t counted on no one answering the bell at the gate, or the gate being closed tight, with bars spaced every two inches and a slippery concrete wall around the rest of the house. It was actually kinda difficult to break into.

He waited by a side gate that led into a driveway, knowing that sooner or later someone would have to go in and out. When a plain car drove in through the gate at midnight, he slipped in behind it and hurried to the side of the gate, trying to avoid the huge box-shaped security cameras that hung everywhere he looked. The best place to avoid them, he reasoned, was directly beneath them, so he side-stepped until he was beneath one of the cameras and waited to see where the car and its driver went.

He hadn’t expected the car to stop, or for the driver to get out and charge towards him. He also hadn’t expected to see Kaiba’s face and eyes shining at him from within an outfit that looked like it might belong to a janitor—or perhaps a well-paid janitor. Jou read so many emotions in Kaiba’s eyes the moment the taller boy recognized him. Pain, confusion, and lust all warred with one another, only to be replaced by a look that might have been concern. Jou was so relieved that he couldn’t even think of something to say. Seto pulled him into a hug that might have been affectionate and caring, if Jou didn’t know him better.

Feeling the solid warmth of the other boy’s chest against him, Jou collapsed, the emotional exhaustion of the day finally catching up to him. He let his mind shut down, let the world around him go, and focused on nothing more than the feel, the smell, and the strength of the boy holding him.

Time passed, although Jou couldn’t say how much. When the darkness in his mind finally cleared, he was still clinging to Seto’s chest. But he was comfortable and warm, tucked into a giant bed in a dark room. On the bedside table near Seto, a glowing clock told him that it was almost six in the morning. He’d wasted the entire night holding on to Seto like a frightened baby. If he didn’t leave today, the Nakamuras would find a way to persuade him to stay, to accept their charity and pity. He wouldn’t have another night with Seto.

The other boy had fallen asleep beside him, still in the same jeans and t-shirt he’d worn the night before. Jou squirmed close to him, hesitated for a moment, and pressed his lips against Seto’s. Seto responded instantly, and when Jou pulled away to say that he knew that faker had been awake the whole time, he found the brunet’s tongue in his mouth before a single word could escape.

When he felt Seto’s hands move to his shoulders to push him away, Jou grabbed the other boy’s wrists and pinned then to the bed. He rolled over on top of Seto and straddled his hips, determined not to give Seto a moment to question what was happening. He let go of Seto’s wrists and pulled his t-shirt up, exposing his chest. Jou let his fingers trail down that toned chest, past Seto’s slender abs, to trace the soft tuff of brown hair that began an inch above Seto’s pants. When Jou wiggled his fingers into Seto’s tight jeans and stroked the top of the other boy’s cock, Seto squirmed and began to pull at Jou’s clothing. Seto’s adept fingers had both of them naked in what seemed like an instant, and the heat of Seto’s body pressingly tight against his drove Jou into a frenzy where nothing mattered except touching more of that white hot skin. All Jou could do was feel. He rubbed every part of himself against Seto and savored the friction of the other boy’s skin scraping his nipples and pushing at the head of his own straining erection.

He almost whimpered when Seto rolled them over and reached a hand away for a moment, but just as quickly as his attention left Jou, it came back again. Seto kissed his jaw, then down his neck and chest. Jou felt him shift lower and opened his eyes to seem Seto wrapping his tongue around the head of Jou’s cock in a motion that nearly made Jou cum instantly. Jou watched Seto take his entire length inside of his mouth.

Just as the unbelievable heat enveloped him, Jou saw Seto grab a small tube and soon felt a single slick finger urgently pushing its way inside of him. Jou was surprised that it didn’t hurt. It was a bit uncomfortable, but not as painful as he always expected. Seto pumped that single finger in an out of Jou quickly, then added another and did the same. When he eased in a third finger, Jou whined slightly. It still didn’t hurt as bad as he’d feared, but Jou had to rock his hips to try to get Seto to keep going. “It’s not bad, damn it. Just do it, please!”

“Not yet,” said Seto, licking Jou’s cock before moving back up to his chest and neck.

He wiggled all three fingers inside of Jou, stretching his body and pressing up inside of Jou. Jou felt the world freeze in an instant. A wave of pleasure exploded through his body, rippling through every part of him.

“Perfect,” Seto chuckled. He reached for the small tube again, applied the slick liquid to his own cock, and shifted between Jou’s legs. With a single smooth thrust, Seto was buried inside of him. He didn’t wait for Jou to relax and accept his size, but he rolled Jou’s hips up and placed both of Jou’s knees over his shoulders, then gave a gentle, experimental thrust. When Jou moaned and tried to pull Seto’s cock deeper into him, Seto grabbed Jou’s hips and began to thrust into him fast and hard, driving into the spot that made Jou squeal over and over again.

To Jou’s shame, Seto’s powerful thrusts made him cum within seconds. He exploded over his own chest, swallowing a scream as he did. He looked into Seto’s eyes expecting to see scorn and ridicule. Instead he saw the most lustful expression he had ever seen in those ice blue eyes. They seemed to burn with desire and need, locking on to Jou’s eyes as Seto continued to fuck Jou at the same frantic pace.

Seto’s fingers found Jou’s limp cock and, using his own cum as lube, teased him back to a full erection. Seto stroked Jou in time with his thrusts, driving Jou insane with pleasure, until every thrust and stroke made him scream. It was a matter of minutes before Jou’s body tensed again, but this time Seto shifted his hand to the base of Jou’s cock and squeezed, stopping Jou’s orgasm. He thrust harder and faster, pushing himself to completion, and then released Jou’s cock, sliding his fingers gently up to the tip to catch every drop as Jou sprayed into his hand. He squeezed the sensitive tip and buried himself deep inside of Jou, filling Jou’s passage as he shuddered in pleasure.

Jou couldn’t make sense of anything in the blissful oblivion Seto had driven him into, but as he came back to his senses, he realized that Seto had collapsed beside him and pulled him into his arms, holding him so tight that Jou couldn’t budge. He tried to shift a bit away from Seto, just to get more comfortable, but the brunette tightened his grip, wrapping both arms around Jou and pinning him to his chest.

“Well, that wasn’t quite as kinky as the table in the library would have been… but I’m not complaining,” Seto whispered.

As the euphoria faded, Jou realized that he wouldn’t be able to slip away without Seto noticing. Not tonight, anyway. Seto would inevitably have to work in the morning, and Jou suspected that Seto would throw him out before Mokuba woke up, just to avoid the chance of the younger boy seeing him there. That meant that he would be awake in time to catch the early commuter train to Tokyo. He would have plenty of time to sell his cards, buy a plane ticket, and get the hell out of the country before DFS, Sakura, or Yugi and his friends could find him.

When morning came, though, Jou was surprised to wake up alone in a gigantic bed covered in tussled blue silk sheets. Sunlight streamed through the open curtains, making the entire bed glow with warmth. For a few moments, Jou forgot about the day before and just snuggled into the warmth. He turned away from the window to feel the sun on his back, and as he did so his forehead scrapped against a piece of paper set on the pillow next to him. Sitting up, he found an envelope on the pillow with his name on it. He tore it open and pulled out a folded sheet of notebook paper. As he unfolded it, a small stack of money slipped out of the notebook paper and fluttered to the bed. The letter contained a hundred thousand yen.

A sour feeling began to form in the pit of Jou’s stomach. Every instinct he had told him not to bother reading the note. Just to tear it up, leave the pieces on top of the money, and get away with what little pride he had left. The letter, just like Seto’s insults, was cold. Security has been notified that you are to be admitted to the house tonight after dark. I expect you to be waiting for me. However, Mokuba doesn’t leave for school until noon today, and I do not want to have to explain the situation to my baby brother when I return home from work. Take a cab to school, have a nice lunch. They money I’ve enclosed should be more than enough.

There was no signature, of course. Not even an initial. Nothing that might ever be used to link the note to Seto. As if he were really that afraid that Jou would run to the press and betray him.

Jou stared at the money, shaking his head slowly. He was torn between a feeling of disbelief and self-loathing. He couldn’t believe that he had been so stupid. Of course Seto wouldn’t think of what happened between them as something special. He was Seto friggin’ Kaiba, after all, and Jou was nothing but a low class mutt. Now he was nothing but a low class whore, Jou realized. He choked on the bile that rose in his throat at the thought of what had happened. How could he have misjudged things so badly? How could something that meant so much to him be nothing more than a night with a prostitute to Kaiba?

Jou refused to cry. Girls cried, and he was not a girl. He rose to his feet on shaking legs and, despite the pain radiating through his back with each step, he gathered his clothes and shoes and dressed quickly. He grabbed his bag and made sure that everything was still there—his deck, his only change of clothes, the money he had from his last paycheck from Sakura, his American passport, and all of the papers he needed for his university application package.

As he looked at the thick stack of envelopes, and the old American passport, a sad smile formed on his lips. How did Kaiba’s opinion matter now? The worst he could do was tell all of Jou’s friends that he was a whore. Someone he would never see again talking shit about him to people he would never see again… He wasn’t just planning on walking away from Domino, but from his life as Jounouchi Katsuya. All of Kaiba’s insults and the crap he’d pulled with his tournaments didn’t matter now, because they weren’t a part of Jou’s life anymore. He flipped open the passport and looked at the picture of himself as a rambunctious twelve year old. The name on the passport was as familiar as an old baby blanket. Joey Wheeler. He’d been named after his grandpa, and out of deference to the old man, he had resisted adopting a Japanese name even to this day. His father enrolled him in school as Jounouchi Katsuya, but he insisted on going by Jou because it was as close to his real name, and his grandpa’s name, as he could get away with.

Jounouchi Katsuya had made his share of stupid mistakes in the past few days, but Joey Wheeler was about to visit his childhood home for the first time in eight years. No one could call Joey Wheeler a mutt or a whore. Joey Wheeler was an American citizen, a decent student who had spent time overseas, smart enough to get into any college he wanted. Joey Wheeler could do anything he wanted in life. And had absolutely nothing to do with billionaire CEO Seto Kaiba.

He paused at the door and checked the time. It wasn’t even passed seven yet. Mokuba was likely still in bed. Jou shut his eyes tight and unclasped the watch. He tossed it across the room, into the pile of money he’d left on the bed. “Goodbye Kaiba,” Jou whispered.