Carry On

A/N: And now you are caught up with the story. More chapters to come!

Chapter Nine – Back in Place


When Atemu returned home from work the evening of Yuugi’s departure, he was mildly surprised to find Jounouchi and Honda sitting in the living room watching television with Sugoroku talking quietly on the phone in the kitchen. Yuugi hadn’t mentioned to him that his friends would be coming over, though he had told Atemu that it was customary to give Jounouchi a key to the house for his grandfather’s safety. The younger man had been adamant that this in no way reflected his trust in Atemu’s ability to handle an emergency, just that he didn’t want the Egyptian to feel responsible for his family while he was at work. It had been sweet, actually, the way Yuugi was intent on getting this message across despite his embarrassed fidgeting and the hint of a flush on his cheeks. Atemu reassured Yuugi that no insult was taken and that he should worry about preparing for the seminar instead of hurting his feelings.

It had been a long day for Atemu, Seto having asked him to remain after hours so the two could correlate a presentation they’d be giving at the end of the week. The hour was quite late, nearing 9:30pm, and Atemu had been looking forward to taking a nice, hot shower, grabbing a cup of tea and hitting the sheets. The thought of having the entire bed to himself was exceptionally appealing. He didn’t mind sharing a bed with Yuugi, of course – quite the opposite – but it was going to be heavenly not to have someone roll over on him and wake him up every few hours, especially when he was this tired.

Setting down his briefcase at the top of the stairs, Atemu turned toward the living room to offer a greeting to Yuugi’s friends; Honda and Jounouchi, if he remembered correctly from the photo he’d been shown, were looking at him with suspicious expressions that he wasn’t sure he deserved. The greeting died on his lips, and Atemu waited to see what Yuugi’s friends had on their minds.

“You’re home a little late, aren’t you?” Honda said. His voice was strong and steady and there was no attempt to hide the insinuation that Atemu had been up to no good.

“It’s only polite to call and let people know,” Jounouchi added. “Though I suppose you don’t think you owe anyone that, seeing as how Yuugi ain’t here.”

Atemu frowned softly at the accusation. He honestly didn’t understand what he had done to make these men so distrusting of him. He felt no ill will towards them, even with their seeming influence over Yuugi, so why they felt that way towards him was a mystery. But, they were Yuugi’s friends, and he wasn’t going to stoop to their level and be rude when it was uncalled for.

“I did call,” Atemu said quietly, removing his jacket and walking to the hall closet. “I called as soon as I knew I’d be late.”

Honda and Jounouchi looked at each other before the brunette answered. “We didn’t hear anything about it.”

“I didn’t know you were here,” Atemu explained as he removed a hanger from the closet and strung his jacket over it. “I talked to Sugoroku. He didn’t mention that the two of you would be over.”

Jounouchi had to frown at this, knowing that what Atemu said made sense. He could tell that Honda believed it to be only a lucky coincidence that Atemu had called before he and Jounouchi had intruded on the elder Motou for dinner, claiming that Yuugi had asked them to keep an eye on his family to make sure they behaved while he was gone. It was rather presumptuous of them to think that with Yuugi out of town Atemu would automatically keep them informed as to his whereabouts. Jounouchi inwardly flinched at his own actions. Apparently he hadn’t thought this through as well as he’d led himself to believe. Despite this minor setback, there was one thing that Atemu said that Jounouchi didn’t like, and that was the casual manner he spoke about Sugoroku. He didn’t use any honorific, and Jounouchi was certain that it wasn’t because he had forgotten. Japanese being his second language or not, Jounouchi still believed that their customs should be followed. He knew that the elder Motou was very strict about matters of protocol, especially when it came to addressing someone older than yourself. It had taken several months for Jounouchi and Honda to earn the privilege of calling the man ‘Grandpa,’ and that came around only because Yuugi considered them family.

“Better not let him hear you call him that,” Jounouchi said. There was no warning in his voice, however considering the animosity that existed between the three men there was little possibility it was a neutral statement. “Gramps doesn’t like us young folk calling him by his name unless he invites them to.”

Atemu closed the closet door and looked at it in confusion, his brows drawn together over his eyes. “But he did.” He looked at Jounouchi to say, “I’m sure he’s invited you two as well? Knowing what good friends you are with Yuugi?”

Honda bit the inside of his cheek and Jounouchi adverted his gaze. Atemu had inadvertently hit a sore point within the men and he found his nerves jumping a bit at the realization. Not wanting to antagonize the situation any further he asked what he hoped was a neutral question. “Have you two been here long?”

“A few hours.” Jounouchi repositioned himself on the couch, leaning back against the arm so he didn’t have to twist his neck to see Atemu. “I thought Grandpa would like the company.” This was true, though of course the ulterior motive was obvious to everyone in the room, including the man sitting in the kitchen.

“That was nice of you,” Atemu said with a small smile, meaning every word. By the look on the other faces, however, it was apparent his sincerity was not believed. He sighed audibly, too tired to defend against unwarranted suspicion. “Will you be staying the night?”

Honda’s eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms defensively, an eyebrow rising in question. “Why?”

“I was going to gather the extra sheets and pillows for you if you were, since I’m at the closet anyway.” When the expression didn’t change Atemu decided that his efforts were meaningless and that it would be best if he just left the sight of the two younger men. He straightened and walked to the stairs to gather his briefcase when he was interrupted by an infinitely friendlier voice.

“I thought I heard you Atemu,” Sugoroku said, emerging from the kitchen. He held out the steaming mug of tea he was holding for Atemu to take, offering a smile as he did so. “Long day, wasn’t it?”

Atemu happily took the mug and wrapped his fingers around it, letting the warmth of the liquid penetrate his sore hands. “Mmm,” he said, taking a sip of the sweetened tea. “Had to be done though. Now the rest of the week should be pretty normal and I’ll get home at a decent hour.”

Sugoroku nodded, providing Atemu a protected moment to relax and enjoy some time free from Honda’s and Jounouchi’s snobbery. “Atemu?” he asked once he felt the man was ready, “If you have a free moment this week, I was wondering if you’d be willing to help me with something? Sarah told me that I should ask if you’d look at some of my paperwork for me.” He bowed his head a bit sheepishly. “I’m missing about twenty-three thousand yen and we can’t seem to figure out why.”

Atemu smiled genuinely at that, touched that anyone would openly seek his help and believe that he was capable of giving it. “Of course, Sugoroku,” he said, bending down to pick up his briefcase. “It may not be until Friday, but if you can wait that long I’d be happy to help you.”

Sugoroku smirked at the reaction he was able to invoke in the young Egyptian. It was easy to see the light shining in his eyes when such a simple gesture was extended towards him. It made him wonder what had happened in the man’s life that made someone asking him for help such a large show of trust. Well, whatever had happened, at least Atemu was still able to feel happiness. It was a shame that not everyone enjoyed seeing him cheerful.

“Heck, we can help you with that, if it’s just looking at numbers.” Sugoroku scowled at Honda but the look went unnoticed, the brunette’s attention fixed solely on Atemu. “Anyone can look at numbers.”

“And we’re available all week,” Jounouchi added. “You don’t have to wait ‘til Friday Gramps.”

Sugoroku groaned when he noticed the happy air about Atemu fade and the attempt of the other man not to roll his eyes impatiently. His grandson’s friends had not only implied that Atemu’s help wasn’t necessary or worth waiting for, but also by saying that the task was so simple that anyone could do it insulted his entire profession, insinuating that he wasn’t an intelligent person. What his grandson saw in these two boys Sugoroku was at a lost to understand. Their bluntness was beyond rude and did nothing more than show the two’s desperate attempts to mark their territory in his home. They were nice boys, he supposed, but they didn’t know when not to push the boundaries. His living room was no venue for a pissing contest.

“Be that as it may,” Sugoroku said, looking straight at Atemu so the man would understand his unspoken words. “I’d rather have a professional’s opinion. This is regarding the future of my business, not some way to pass the time.” He turned back to the boys. “Thanks anyway.” He patted Atemu on the shoulder, indicating that it was time for him to head on down the hallway.

Once Atemu had gone into Yuugi’s bedroom and shut the door to prepare for his shower Sugoroku walked into the living room, hands in his pockets, and stood behind the couch Honda and Jounouchi were occupying. He wasn’t surprised when Jounouchi opened his mouth to speak.

“Seriously, we can help you,” Jounouchi insisted. “You don’t have to rely on him.”

“We don’t even know him!” Honda said.

“That’s it then, isn’t it?” Sugoroku said. He was satisfied with the stunned expressions. “You don’t know him, so I shouldn’t trust him.” Turning his back on the young adults, he tossed a few words over his shoulder before retiring to the kitchen. “Yuugi trusts him and that’s enough for me right now. Now go home. I’m sure I’ll be seeing a lot of you over the next nine days.”

---

And that was how evenings went for Atemu while Yuugi was in Hawaii. Every night he came home Honda or Jounouchi would be at the house - sometimes together but usually it was Jounouchi by himself, and Atemu would be forced to endure a night of sly insults in regards to his character, his job, his ethnicity, his familiarity with the Motou household and family and, most recently, his continuing presence in the home despite Yuugi’s absence. Sugoroku offered his support when he could, but Yuugi’s friends were careful to make sure their comments were only loud enough for Atemu’s ears. Even when Friday evening rolled around and he was helping Sarah and Sugoroku as promised Jounouchi had managed to anonymously offer his opinion on a fairly regular basis.

It was rather disheartening the persistence Jounouchi and Honda had at making his life uncomfortable. Their words were never overly vicious or cruel, but they certainly stung, and latched together night after night it was enough to take a toll on anyone. Outside of his coworkers Atemu didn’t know anyone and therefore didn’t have any social activities. His meditation sufficed to calm his nerves, but Honda and Jounouchi made it a habit to ‘accidentally’ barge into Yuugi’s room whenever he was doing a routine. He’d been able to find a bookstore that sold novels written in Arabic and so had been able to take up the pleasure of reading. As much as he enjoyed the pastime, the world of fantasy and imagination could not make up for the lack of social connections.

The loneliness was slowly creeping up on him, and every time he turned around to glare it back into submission it would audaciously stop and wave at him. When Yuugi was around the isolation wasn’t so bad. Aside from the fact that, much to his embarrassment, he was in love with the man, simply having someone similar in age that was curious about him and his hobbies was enough to satisfy the craving to interact with another human being. Atemu had never been one who needed a crowd around him to feel wanted, but watching the interaction between the Motou family, and Sarah, and hearing the laughter that always surrounded Jounouchi and Honda punched into him exactly how much he had lost when he’d been kicked out of Egypt. And it hurt, deep within his gut, like someone repeatedly kicking him in the stomach after he had already fallen to the ground in defeat.

Surprisingly, Anzu had come over one evening and invited him to dinner. He’d been shocked into accepting the offer as Gina and Sugoroku practically shoved him out the door with Anzu giggling in their wake. They had gone to a local Pizzeria and just… talked. She had taken the time to get to know him, without accusations or assumptions about his character, and Atemu had found himself falling gladly into the friendship she offered. He wasn’t entirely certain if there were any strings attached, but Anzu’s sincere smiles and laughter had him believing in her. Some of the shadows that crowded his heart were lifted as he came to realize that he was indeed capable of making friends in this country.

It hadn’t been all fun and games at the Pizzeria. Having only recently allowed himself to acknowledge his love for Yuugi, it came as quite a blow when Anzu offhandedly mentioned that Yuugi was staying with an old professor friend from his semester in Hawaii. She didn’t notice what she’d said at first and had continued to speak of her friend’s time on the Pacific islands while the pieces clicked together in Atemu’s head.

He kept the puka shell necklace Yuugi had given to him with him at all times, usually within a pocket or in his briefcase while at work. He believed Yuugi when he’d told him that the necklace was a symbol of someone caring for him. The jewelry had actually helped to ease some of the pain during the past couple of nights when the loneliness and homesickness was almost too much to bear. Never did the thought that Yuugi had lied when he’d said that the feelings between him and his professor were one-sided cross his mind, but it was still difficult to accept that Yuugi had run off to someone who had already made it clear that he was in love with him.

Atemu knew full well that Yuugi’s decision to go to Hawaii had very little to do with him or his previous professor. He knew flight when he saw it; it was what Yuugi was running away from that he didn’t know. Still, having finally allowed himself to open his heart to someone new, and not just in the manner of a fleeting crush, Atemu had placed himself on the path of probably being hurt again. Even with this knowledge, and knowing that nothing as of yet had happened between him and Yuugi that should cause such heartache, he couldn’t find it within himself to begrudge Yuugi or wish him home. He wasn’t about to burden Yuugi with fulfilling his wishes. Atemu had been on the receiving end of such demands and knew firsthand the damages they caused.

Anzu had eventually realized what she’d said and held a hand to her mouth, apologizing to Atemu for her carelessness. Atemu didn’t understand why she felt he deserved an apology, but he accepted it just the same and had turned the conversation onto cheerier topics. That evening he slept with the necklace wrapped tightly around his hand.

And now it was Sunday. The week had not been an overly joyful one.

Atemu sat in the living room reading one of his books, somehow able to tune out the sound of the television and Jounouchi’s jeering at the game show he was watching when the telephone rang. Placing his bookmark he rose from the chair and went to the kitchen to answer it, beating Jounouchi to the act only because the other was so engrossed in his game show. Jounouchi had made it a habit to race Atemu to the phone, posing against the doorframe every time he won in some sort of in-your-face celebration that Atemu pointedly ignored. If Yuugi’s friend felt the need to fill his ego by asserting dominance over a phone he saw no reason to dissuade him.

“Hello, Motou residence,” Atemu greeted lazily. He kept his back towards the living room so he wouldn’t have to look at Jounouchi’s guarded frown that was no doubt aimed at him.

The smile in the replying voice was obvious. “Hey there Atemu. Fancy you up this early on a weekend.”

A grin slowly pulled itself across Atemu’s mouth and settled comfortably. This was the first time Yuugi had called since letting his grandfather know that his plane had arrived safely. “Sleep in late one day…” He allowed himself to chuckle, pleased to hear the sound returned. “How are you Yuugi? How goes the seminar?”

“Wow. I never knew it was this hectic! I mean, I’ve been to seminars before, of course. But to actually be leading one… I need to write an apology letter to all those professors I gave such a hard time to.”

“I take it things are going well then,” Atemu said, retrieving a glass from the cupboard and opening the refrigerator. “Anything that brings revelations must be good.”

“Oh don’t give me that,” Yuugi groaned. “I’ve had enough on my conscious to start thinking about all the other things I need to apologize for.” He mock-growled before returning to his friendly and quiet tone. “How are things on the home front, Até?”

Hearing that dreadful nickname had never sounded sweeter in his ears. And he was never going to let Yuugi know how much it made him feel like he belonged. “Your mother is quite well. Apparently the manager hired a new girl to work the counter who’s actually close to Gina’s age. They’ve been out for coffee after work every night this week.”

“So Akira finally listened to mom and hired a competent employee. Mom has a new girlfriend!” Yuugi laughed easily. “That must make things around the house easier.”

Atemu offered no comment to that remark, though he did hum lightly to Yuugi’s amusement. “Your grandfather is doing well. Jounouchi has been staying over just about every night, keeping him company-”

“Jounouchi’s been staying over?” Yuugi interrupted, irritation hinted at in his voice. “By that, do you mean coming over, or sleeping over?”

Atemu inwardly winced at Yuugi’s tone. He hadn’t meant to say anything that would indicate that things at home weren’t perfect. “Both. He and Honda take turns.” He paused at the hard sigh that drifted over the line, and the emotion Yuugi was emitting triggered a thought in his mind. “Did… you not ask them to?” He made sure to lower his voice for the question, knowing that Jounouchi was listening in as well as he could when the volume on the television suddenly lowered.

“Damn it.” Yuugi was silent for a few moments, the events leading to Honda and Jounouchi staying at his house playing out in his mind. Sugoroku, though not overly fond of them, would never turn them down if they wanted to stay over, especially if they had twisted Yuugi’s words to make it sound like he had wanted them to.

“Yuugi?” The softness of Atemu’s voice broke Yuugi out of his thoughts. “It’s alright, really. No harm’s been done. It actually-”

“Hey buddy!” Jounouchi had had enough of Atemu whispering as though he weren’t important enough to be included in the conversation and had grabbed the phone from Atemu from behind, not too gently pushing the other man aside. Striking his pose, he paid Atemu the same respect and turned his back on the man. Atemu sighed in resignation and went back out into the living room with his glass of water and resumed reading his book, tuning out whatever Jounouchi was going to say.

The change in voice shocked Yuugi and he jumped on the other end. “What the hell Jounouchi?!” he demanded. “Atemu and I weren’t done.”

“Sure you were,” Jounouchi said, ignoring the edginess in his friend’s voice. “Besides, I haven’t had a chance to talk to you all week! And I’ve got so much to tell you! You’re going to be sorry you weren’t here for half of this stuff.” Jounouchi began to ramble off about all that had happened to him, his sister, Honda, and Anzu while Yuugi had been gone, unaware that his friend wasn’t listening to a word he was saying. Of course, Jounouchi had never required verbal cues to encourage him to talk, so the silence didn’t register as a threat.

Yuugi’s mind was working on overdrive. Jounouchi could be rude, no question, but to actually take the phone from Atemu in mid-sentence and push him aside – he had heard the resulting grunt of surprise - … it made him think back to what Jounouchi had said the morning of his flight to Hawaii. He had a bad feeling about the way his friends may have been treating Atemu without him around and this act only heightened his suspicions. He didn’t expect physical violence, but verbal… Honda and Jounouchi did have rather nasty mouths on them when they were in Attack Mode. Why had he been so naïve to believe that his friends would behave themselves while he was gone? He’d already left Atemu in a less than ideal state of self-confidence. The man certainly didn’t need anyone working on him while he was trying so hard to heal himself.

With irritation giving way to anger Yuugi interrupted Jounouchi, his voice low enough to be considered a growl. “Jounouchi. Why have you been staying at my house?”

Jounouchi hesitated, confused. “To keep an eye on grandpa, of course. Why else would I be here?”

“You tell me.”

The words weren’t accusations so much as they revealed the fact that Yuugi was fully aware of Jounouchi’s intentions and was determined to make him say them out loud. Jounouchi bristled, not able to understand why Yuugi was acting so weird about Atemu. He’d spent every night with the man and couldn’t see why Yuugi would be interested in someone who wouldn’t even stand up for himself when insulted, and he’d made it his mission to insult Atemu at every opportunity.

“Yes, I’ve been keeping an eye on him,” Jounouchi admitted. “Someone has to while you’re not here. We’re not all so trusting of him as you are.”

“Ji-chan likes him.”

“You sure about that?” Jounouchi raised his eyebrow in question even though Yuugi couldn’t see him. “Or is he just being nice to stay on your good side?”

That wasn’t crossing the line; that was another instance of jumping clear over it. “Put Atemu back on.”

“Yug, let’s talk-”

“NOW!”

Knowing that Yuugi never shouted unless he was seriously pissed, Jounouchi angrily shook his head and shouted for Atemu to get his ass to the phone. He stomped to the kitchen table and sat on its top, both arms and legs crossed, a glare plastered on his face. When Atemu cautiously entered the kitchen and picked up the phone the dangerous vibes coming off the blond were enough to make him keep his distance.

“Yuugi?”

All trace of anger left Yuugi’s voice the moment he heard Atemu on the line. “Até?” He made sure his voice was gentle and reassuring. “Até, I want you to be honest with me.” Yuugi gave Atemu a moment to gather himself from his obnoxious summon. “Is Jounouchi being the ass I think he’s being?”

Atemu closed his eyes, sighing through his nose. Now how could he possibly answer a question like that, even if Jounouchi hadn’t been in the room staring at him? ‘Yes, Yuugi, one of your best friends is a total ass to me, so could you tell him to cut it out? I’d really appreciate it.’ As much as he wanted to say this, there was absolutely no way that he could. And Yuugi knew it.

“Sorry,” Yuugi said, releasing a harsh breath. “I know you can’t answer that. It’s just-! You shouldn’t have to go through this. They have no right to treat you that way!”

“Whoa, hey now,” Atemu soothed. “I want to be here.” He decisively ignored the “duh” that came from Jounouchi. “Besides, I’m a big boy now. Drive my own car and everything. I’m O.K.” When Yuugi didn’t answer right away, he repeated himself. “I’m O.K. No one has done anything wrong.” He hadn’t noticed it until now, but he’d been playing with the necklace in his pocket since he picked up the phone, an action that thankfully went unnoticed by Jounouchi.

Jounouchi was growing nervous. Atemu seemed way too calm to him after all he had been putting him through, and he was still bothered by how easily Yuugi had yelled at him. The Atemu in front of him was not the one he had painted in his head; a man who would do or say anything to make the situation beneficial to him. He’d had the perfect opportunity to rat out all that Jounouchi had been doing and saying, and instead had told Yuugi that there had been no wrong-doing in his absence. The image of a nice Atemu didn’t sit well in his stomach. He felt the dire need to get a soda from the refrigerator to settle both his stomach and his nerves. Instead, he remained sitting on the kitchen table, watching Atemu with a bit more caution, until the man opened his eyes and turned to him with a sympathetic look on his face. After saying goodbye to Yuugi, Atemu handed Jounouchi the phone.

“He wishes to speak to you again,” Atemu said before returning to the living room.

Jounouchi watched him go, not exactly eager to hear what else Yuugi had to say to him. Steeling his nerves, he pressed the phone to his ear and muttered, “Yeah, Yug?”

“When I told you to behave yourself,” Yuugi said, voice deathly calm. “What made you think I was joking?”

---

“Kuso!”

The foreign curse was accentuated by the slamming of a phone back onto its cradle, the force threatening to crack the cheap plastic. The other occupant in the room, a tall, slim man with reddish-brown hair that was short in front and long down his neck, hid a chuckle at the noise, covering his mouth with his arm as though he were coughing instead of laughing. Green eyes the shade of a ripe avocado looked calmly to the man that stood fuming over the phone, the clenching and unclenching fists giving a mild indication that perhaps the call home had not gone according to plan.

“So,” Allen said slowly, rising from his chair and slipping his hands into his dress slacks he had yet to remove since returning from the seminar. “How’s life?”

Yuugi glared at his friend over his shoulder, mumbling something else impolite in Japanese so Allen wouldn’t know the specifics of the pox he was placing on his head. Allen simply laughed and went over to the wet-bar that was situated near the room’s only window and grabbed a bottle of scotch, used to Yuugi’s outburst and choice Japanese phrases. He found it quite charming how the young man was unaware of his switch back into his native tongue whenever he was upset, grinning at a memory of a one-sided conversation in Japanese before Yuugi remembered that Allen only spoke English.

“My friends are assholes,” Yuugi eventually said, forcing himself to calm down with a painfully deep breath.

“Ah,” Allen said knowingly, pouring two shots of the potent alcohol and walking across the room to hand one to Yuugi. “The best kind of friends to have. You always know where you stand with friends like that.”

“Yeah,” Yuugi agreed, taking the proffered glass, “as far away as possible.” He brought the shot glass to his nose and sniffed, scrunching his face at the bitter fragrance. “You know, booze doesn’t cure all ills, Allen.”

“Doesn’t hurt to try.” Raising his glass in a cheer Allen downed his drink, Yuugi following suit. Returning the empty glasses to the wet-bar he invited his friend to join him at the windowsill. “So what happened, Yuugi?” he asked delicately once they had settled comfortably.

Yuugi sighed, banging his forehead gently into the window. “They won’t leave him alone.”

Allen watched Yuugi carefully, noting the tension in the other man’s body. He sighed, “You didn’t expect them to, did you?”

Looking sideways at the older man, Yuugi eventually snorted and turned his gaze back out the window. “That isn’t the point. The point is he hasn’t done a damn thing to them for them to act this way. They tried to tell me that they’re just protecting me, but I don’t buy it.” His hands began tap against his legs in his agitation.

“You’d be a fool to believe that,” Allen said lightly. “Whenever someone announces that their actions are for the protection of someone else you know there is an ulterior motive.”

Closing his eyes against the truth of those words Yuugi allowed Allen to place a hand on his shoulder, rubbing tenderly to try and ease some of his anxiety. He folded his leg beneath him and played with his shoelace, somewhat distracting himself with the fascinating custom of Americans not removing their shoes within the home. He didn’t see the compassionate look in his friend’s eyes, or the sadness that pulled at his features. His head was a thousand miles away in Japan, focused on a living room and the gorgeous Egyptian sitting therein.

“Yuugi?” Allen prompted when the other shifted against the window, obviously wanting to voice his concerns.

“I’m not used to this Allen,” Yuugi confessed.

“Used to what, Ramus?” It was so easy for Allen to fall into the use of his nickname for Yuugi, with the young man in his home, sitting so close. Peter Ramus was a famous mathematician who lived during the 1500s, known for his works on logic and rhetoric, both of which were abundantly apparent in his then-student. When the semester had ended and Yuugi had returned to Japan all those years ago, even with the one-sided feelings the two had promised to always remain close. Less than lovers, more than friends. It was a difficult balance for Allen to maintain, but he wasn’t going to threaten the trust he and Yuugi shared for anything.

“To caring so much,” Yuugi sighed, his shoulders slumping with the released breath. “When I’m around him I’m happy but frustrated. When he’s at work I’m content and eager for him to come home. I kiss him and he responds. And then he goes and pushes me away simply because I want to sleep with him? What the hell is all that about? He acted like it was some great insult or something!” Yuugi crossed his arms in a huff. “I don’t get how he can kiss me like that and expect me to not want to have sex. Seriously, that man…!”

“Don’t be too hard on him Yuugi. He hasn’t had a chance to get comfortable with you yet.” Allen beamed at the returning glare. Leaning back against the window frame and crossing his legs beneath him, he asked Yuugi the one question he hoped would lead the younger man down a calmer road. “You realize you love him, don’t you?”

“I’m not stupid,” Yuugi snapped. He pursed his lips, looking thoughtfully at his former professor. “Of course I love him. That much is obvious,” he said to clarify. “But it’s not like some girly romantic fantasy or some shit like that.”

“Never said it was,” Allen observed, tilting his head to the side while noting the defensiveness in Yuugi’s voice. “But that’s what someone believes, isn’t it?” When Yuugi continued staring at him for a full ten seconds before nodding he continued, “Which one of your friends told you that?”

Yuugi shrugged, his eyes glancing around the room. “It’s more a mutual understanding,” he said. “Love is for losers. Sure, you like someone for a while, maybe love them during that time, but it doesn’t last and you get over it and move on. That’s how it’s supposed to work.”

There was a pregnant pause that surrounded the two men, each lost in their own thoughts regarding the intricacies of love. Allen knew Yuugi well enough not to believe any of the bullshit he’d just spouted. Yuugi was a romantic at heart even if he didn’t want to admit it, meaning that he believed that you could find someone who made you so happy and complete you would willingly give them your love and it would last a lifetime. It wasn’t about clichéd romance; of forced walks on the beach on moonlit nights or friends leaving you alone in front of a fireplace for a ‘private moment’. Such events were trite in the real world despite being fun. Real romance came from knowing your partner’s routine in the morning, the way they preferred their eggs cooked or the plots in their movies to run, weathering the bad moods without succumbing to the childish notion that a single disagreement meant the end of a relationship, forgiving the unintentional actions that caused pain, offering and accepting apologies, sharing a bathroom sink while brushing your teeth together in the morning, and so many more mundane activities that constituted daily life. But at one point Yuugi had allowed himself to be drug along with the notion that love was nothing more than a fairytale emotion that lasted no longer than a Disney movie.

“There is a way you can make this much easier on yourself. And on him, if you wanted.” Allen spoke softly to get Yuugi to look at him, knowing that to raise his voice would make him sound like his next words were being said against his will and weren’t sincere. When those deep blue eyes finally turned to him, swirling with thoughtful interest, Allen nodded his head and leaned forward with his arms resting on his knees. “Admit that loving him isn’t a bad thing to do.”

After a long, thick, awkward moment, Yuugi smirked at his professor.

---

to be continued…


Notes:
1. 23,000 Japanese yen = $200 USD
2. Peter Ramus was a French mathematician who wrote a whole series of textbooks on logic and rhetoric, grammar, mathematics, astronomy, and optics.