My life my pain

POV Kaiba

When I woke up I realized that Jou was gone. I felt alone again. While he was with me, everything felt so…intense. It’s strange…just one day and I already saw him as someone I could trust, someone I wanted to share my time with - a friend. A friend I wanted in my bed, but that was beyond the point. I craved everything about him. His presence on my couch had been so overwhelming, his words I’d taken in like someone who had been deaf for ages and was able to hear again. I drank in his sight- so beautiful it made my eyes hurt. The feel of his skin, when I was able to touch him, gave me tingles all over my own skin. The one time I was able to taste him I just couldn’t get it out of my mind. All my senses were alert when he was in reach, but it went beyond that. I like him. He was such an honest person. So innocent. He cares so much. For his father, for his sister, for his friends and maybe, judging by how worried he was for me today, he cares about me too. I was worried about him when I couldn’t get my driver on the phone. Worried that he had gone home alone, worried that he thought I had forgotten my promise. I couldn’t calm down, and so I called him…and totally embarrassed myself. Of course Jou was old enough to have walked home alone. What had I been thinking? I don’t know why, but to me Jou looked fragile, like he carried too many burdens on his shoulders, and that made me worry. I was relieved that he had gotten home safe, and that my driver had taken him home. Note to self: raise limo driver’s salary.

After I’d hung up I bit my lip in thought…what had I been thinking? Embarrassing myself like that. What must Jou think of me? I nibbled on my lip a bit more and that was when I tasted it. Something sweet and slick on my lips. Oddly enough it tasted almost like Jou’s skin had. I knew it couldn’t be that Jou had kissed me in my sleep, but just imagining he had and the taste still lingering on my lips made me achingly hard. I imagined these soft, red lips on mine and I moaned out loud, licking my lips. This taste…maybe Jou and I had drank from the same cane and that’s why I tasted him…didn’t matter, I decided. I let my fantasies run wild. I imagined Jou kissing me in my sleep, licking my lips, sucking on them. His hand trailing over my body - slipping under my waistband, caressing my cock through the soft material of my boxers. It took me a while to realize that I was mimicking my thoughts with my own hands. There was no way I could stop now and my hand slipped underneath my boxers. How would Jou’s hand feel on my cock? Would he be rough with me, or teasingly soft? I pumped harder until I came, and I had to bite my lip as not to cry out, which reminded me of the taste I had on my lips earlier…my cock pulsated trying to pump out more of what wasn’t there anymore. It took me almost fifteen minutes to calm down. ”God Jou, what have you done to me?” I groaned hoarsely.

POV Jou

The next morning I was woken up by the phone. I groaned out in displeasure and got up.

“´lo” I said sleepily into the receiver.

“Good morning big brother, did I wake you up? It’s almost 10, what are you doing still in bed at this time?”

“I’ll have you know that it’s Saturday and I can stay in bed as long as I want; it’s not like ten is late.”

“Whatever you say. So, what were you doing yesterday?” Shizuka asked pressingly. What was up with her?

“Well, I was at Seto’s yesterday, we were watching a movie.” I had told her before that Seto and I were trying to become friends, so I wasn’t worried about how she’d react.

“And…?”

“And what? I went there so we could talk about Ryou and Yugi and about the trip to Egypt.”

“What? A trip to Egypt? Don’t say he is taking Mokuba with him!”

“No, I don’t think he is.” I heard a breath of relief. “Why is that of any importance to you?”

“Ahh…so tell me, what’s going on, why are you and Kaiba going to Egypt? Does it have something to do with Ryou and Yugi?”

Just as I finished telling her about what had happened yesterday, and she had agreed to look after dad as long as she could, the doorbell rang.

“Sorry sis, there’s somebody at the door. I’ll call you back later.”

I sprinted to the front door and opened it to Honda’s cheery greeting.

“Hey Jou, what’s up? Ryoichi and I were thinking about visiting Ryou and Yugi today. Wanna come too? By the way, you look awfully tired…where were you yesterday?”

“I was over at Seto’s and…” I answered without thinking. I hadn’t told him about Seto yet. ‘This could get annoying,’ I groaned inwardly.

“Over at whose? Don’t tell me you are talking about Seto Kaiba. What did that bastard do to you?”

“Calm down, he did nothing to me; we just had to discuss things about Ryou and Yugi…”

“And what would that be? I hope you didn’t trust him Jou. That guy’s nothing but trouble.” Honda crossed his arms. Man, he was starting to annoy me. What was he? My mighty knight in shining armour, rescuing me from the big, bad dragon or something? Although I could understand Honda not trusting Seto, he hadn’t seen him since graduation, and at that time Seto had really been an asshole. I probably would be as wary as Honda if I hadn’t seen the changes in Seto with my own eyes. I took a deep breath and told Honda what had happened yesterday, expect, of course, the two episodes after Kaiba walking up and…the saliva incidents.

“Are you serious? And that bastard is really willing to help? Yami must have offered something…”

“Yeah, Seto did mention something like a deal, but I think he has changed. He’s not only civil to me, but nice and…”

“That’s all show, Jou. Don’t let him fool you. Ryuuji always says what a bastard Kaiba is…and stop calling him Seto, it’s creeping me out.”


“What’s wrong with you? I can call him anything I want; it’s no concern of yours. Anyway,” I continued before he could respond to that, “I will accompany him to Egypt and…”

“Oh no you won’t. Not alone. Ryuuji and I will come with you; no way will I leave him alone with you…”

“I’m not a fucking baby! Even if Seto planned anything – though I don’t know what you are implying - I am totally capable of defending myself. Now go to the hospital. I’ll come later.” I slammed the door shut. Hopefully in his face. Best friend or not, sometimes he really pissed me off.

Normal POV with Honda

He couldn’t believe it. That fucking bastard Seto Kaiba had taken advantage of the situation with Yugi and Ryou to get close to Jou. To hurt him. He wouldn’t let him. Not in a million years.

“Ryuuji.” He said to his boyfriend who had waited in the car outside Jou’s apartment building.

“Mhh”

“I’m going to Egypt…”

“What?”

The truth was Honda had once been madly in love with his best friend, in high school. He had always known that Jou was straight, but he couldn’t help falling in love with him. Jou was everything. Strong but vulnerable, smart but naïve, loyal and hot-headed and …damn gorgeous. With Ryuuji´s help, he had been able to overcome his hopeless infatuation, but he would always be protective of Jou, he would always be one of the most important people to Honda…after Ryuuji that is.

&&&&&&&Flashback&&&&&&

Honda and Jou were chatting in the park. Both off them had realized how Ryou and Yugi always stuttered and blushed when they spoke about their Yamis. It was quite obvious they were in love with them, though neither Jou nor Honda could understand how Ryou could be in love with his crazy Yami.

“Really, if these four get together we will have to close the circle and get together too.” Honda said jokingly, but inside he meant it. Not that it was evident to Jou. Nonetheless, there was shock and disgust written across the blond’s face.

“Urg Honda, I’m not gay, and even if I were, you’re like my brother…just thinking about that makes me sick…”

He was down in the dumps; he knew Jou was straight, but having him say that just the thought of them being together grossed him out was too much. He felt tears coming up. How pathetic. He couldn’t let Jou see him like that. Worst of all, Jou would realize that Honda had not-so-brotherly feelings for Jou, so he excused himself from Jou. Once he was out of sight, he started to run. He just wanted to get home as fast as possible and cry his eyes out. His vision was already blurred by tears; he ran into something and fell hard to the ground. The physical and emotional pain was too much, and he stayed on the ground, crying hard. That’s when he felt a soft touch on his shoulder and heard an appeasing voice.

“Hey Honda, you okay? What’s wrong?”

It was Otogi Ryuuji. Honda was so desperate for a shoulder to cry on that he flung himself into Otogi’s arms. “He’ll never love me, just thinking about it sickens him…oh god, why does it hurt so much? I knew it from the beginning, but…why can’t he love me?”

“Shh.” Otogi knew exactly who Honda was talking about. He once had been in love with Jou himself, but that was before he’d realized the man beside Jou was so much more than just a sidekick. He was fascinated by the devotion Honda showed Jou and Yugi, and it wasn’t long before he longed for Honda, seeing him in the same light he saw Jou; he must have been blind not to see the glances Honda would give his best friend whenever he thought nobody was looking. As bad as he felt for Honda for having his hopes crushed, he was happy at the same time. Maybe now Honda would be able to see. See that Jou wasn’t the only lovable person around him. See that Otogi himself would be more than willing to fill the place Jou could not. “It’s okay, he is and always will be your friend. You’re very important to him and he loves you very much, just not…not in that way.”

“ Nobody loves me in that way; I’ll always just be a friend to everybody.” Honda continued sobbing into Otogi’s shirt. Otogi swallowed. “I…I like you very much…and not just as a friend. I like you in that way.”

&&&&&&&&END FLASHBACK&&&&&

Things had slowly progressed from then on, but eventually Honda fell in love with Otogi, and he was able to face Jou without any awkwardness. Otogi was his world, and he would never give that up, but he would always have a soft spot for Jou; there was no way in hell he would let Seto Kaiba hurt him.

“I’m going to Egypt. There might be a chance to get the Yamis back, but, unfortunately, not without Kaiba’s help. Jou decided to go with him,” Honda said, as if this would explain why he was going to Egypt too.

“So? Why are you going?”

“Are you kidding? How can I leave Jou, or Yugi and Ryou for that matter, alone in that cold-hearted bastard’s company?”

Otogi fell silent. He knew Hiroto loved him, but that fact wasn’t enough to keep him from becoming jealous. Jou would always be more special to Honda than him, Otogi was sure of that, but he couldn’t help it. He loved his boyfriend, and as long as Hiroto was willing to stay with him he could pretend to be happy.

“So,” he asked in a seemingly cheery tone, “when are we leaving?”

-----------------------------------
I have been very busy the last few weeks, and I don’t know, when the next chapter will be ready. I really try to work faster, but I got a new job and I have to work 10 to 12 hours a day, and I am just to tiered to write afterwards. And betaing too takes its time. Bear with me for a bit longer.

I think the chapter after the next will show Marik and some others familiar faces. I have thought about it, and there will be no Yami Marik. I newer saw him as a real Yami. Yes I know Yami Marik was Mariks dark side and Yami means dark, but Yami Marik has no connection to ancient Egypt, and is therefore no spirit…in my opinion. If I misinterpreted it, I am sorry, but I won´t change it. However, he will be in love with someone- a guy of course.


Tell me, what you thought of this chapter, and if you have some ideas as of how this fic should continue tell me.

Thanks to bleakwidow for betaing and thanks to everybody who has red and/or reviewed.