To Find a Hidden Love
Chapter 9
Author: Daisey
Rating: R
Pairing: Atem/Katenen (Yami/Jou); mention of Yugi/Katenen (Yugi/Jou) and Atem/Seth (Yami/Seto)
Beta: Akuchan **hugs**
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or its characters, just a few keepsakes, cards, and daydreams that are precious to me... (Not to mention VHS tapes, DVD's, manga... ^__^)
Summary: A secret love affair is exposed upon the death of Atem's brother, leaving the god-king to deal with not only the burden of his own grief, but that of the lover's as well.
A/N: I have included some Egyptian/Arabic words in the text to add to the feel to the story; explanations/definitions will be listed at the end of the chapter.
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‘Muti! How could you doze off?’ Herihor cursed himself as he strode down the hallway, hazel eyes intently searching every shadow and doorway for Katenen. The blonde may have forgotten about the confrontation with Minnakht with everything else that had happened, but he hadn’t. And his King and the High Priest had counted on him not to. ‘And this is how you repay their trust?’ he taunted himself. ‘By falling asleep?’
Herihor continued to berate himself as he went on with his search. He had awoken just in time to catch a glimpse of his master closing the door, but, by the time he had been able to shift Anhay and Katenat-Ra without waking them, the blonde had been nowhere to be seen. The guard had already gone to his master’s quarters with the hope that he had returned there after leaving, but the rooms had been empty. He had then re-traced his steps back to his own chambers, both to ensure that Katenen had not returned, and to grab his sword- a precaution that the small, niggling voice in the back of his mind had insisted was necessary. After taking one last, quick peek at his sleeping wife and child, he had turned back to the hallway, mentally mapping out the square of corridors that made up the royal family’s private wing of the palace. Immediately he had turned right, instinctively heading toward the hallway where the guest rooms lay- just around the corner from their own quarters.
The closer Herihor drew to the turn, the greater his sense of dread grew until, by the time he reached the bend, his hand was on his sword-hilt, the weapon partially drawn. As soon as he rounded the corner, he realized that his fears were not unfounded; lying in a bloodied heap outside of Minnakht’s door were the two guards that had been assigned to the Tjehenu earlier, their heads nearly severed by the gaping slices in their throats. After a brief moment of shock, instinct took over and he ran down the hall past the gory scene, continuing his search.
*****
Seth kissed his hemet goodbye, making ready to head to Atem’s chambers to meet his cousin for the final prayers on this day of days. Usually the worship was performed by the son of Ra in private in a small shrine that rested in the courtyard adjacent to Atem’s quarters. However, this year, with the god-king’s afflicted voice, assistance was needed to raise the prayers to Father Ra. Seth had been somewhat surprised that his cousin had not asked Katenen but, when he’d opened his mouth to ask him as much, the brunette had been stopped by a look that had told of his cousin’s love and concern for the blonde as clearly as if he had been able to speak. “He has been through enough today,” Atem had mouthed. “Let the nedjem rest.”
The high priest smiled to himself as he recalled the endearment that Atem had used. His cousin’s feelings for the blonde had been apparent to him for some time now, even before Atem had admitted them himself. The brunette’s smile grew to a grin as he remembered the day that his cousin had approached him with his news. “Is that all that you have come to tell me?” Seth had asked, schooling his features into a bored expression and gazing coolly at the other. “And here I thought you had something ~new~ to say. Honestly, Atem; I have known of this matter for ~weeks~ now; why waste my time with old news such as this?”
The slender man out and out laughed as he stepped into the hallway, recalling how Atem’s eyes had flashed with annoyance before just as quickly filling with amusement. “Muti,” the god-king had mouthed, his eyes portraying the teasing that his voice could not. He had then impatiently grabbed a scrap of papyrus, the reed brush, and the pot of ink from Seth’s desk. “I cannot hide anything from you,” Atem had written, using the shorthand that he and Katenen had developed over the months. “Did your seeing stone tell you my secret?” he had added, knowing how his High Priest held such pagan practices beneath him. But Seth had not risen to the taunt.
“No,” he had replied verbally, letting a gentle smile break through his stoic façade. “You told me yourself, with the smile on your face and the way that the life and light return to your eyes whenever you look at him.”
“It is true,” Atem had mouthed, the teasing light in his eyes fading into an expression of wistful happiness as he thought about the blonde who had stolen his heart and brought meaning back into his life. “I have not felt such joy since the day that you and I…” The god-king had trailed off and had reverted back to writing, his unfinished statement causing a light blush of embarrassment to colour both of their faces. “And yet, my joy is tempered with doubt, for, not only am I still unsure of Katenen’s feelings for me, I fear that I have failed my country as well.”
“How?” Seth had demanded sharply, slightly taken aback by his cousin’s speculation.
“I remain mute,” Atem had mouthed. “I have failed to unlock the mystery of your vision.”
The brunette sighed as he passed a door that led out to the courtyard, recalling the doubt that the god-king’s words had instilled in him. ‘If my cousin truly is in love with Katenen,’ he had worried, “should not the curse have been lifted?” While it was true that he had told both Atem and Katenen of his vision, he had deliberately left out the embrace, leading them both to believe that they merely had to learn to work together… not end up in love with each other. And it was pondering that thought that had assuaged the high priest’s doubt. The two had to love ~each other~; Atem’s avowal of love alone would not be enough to break the curse– Katenen had to declare his love for the other as well. With that revelation, Seth had pushed away his insecurities, knowing that the gods would bring to light the blonde’s feelings whenever the timing was right.
The high priest was abruptly forced from his musings when, just as he rounded the corner toward Atem’s chambers, someone ran into him with all the force of a charging hippopotamus. Reeling back slightly at the impact, Seth somehow managed to prevent himself from falling. Once he had steadied himself, he went to chastise the careless person, only to have his words fall silent when he saw the trembling and panic-stricken figure of Herihor before him.
“Katenen is missing,” the guard blurted out, not bothering with an apology. “And Minnakht is also; his guards are dead. I’ve already checked Atem Nisu’s quarters,” he continued as he noticed Seth begin to move in that direction. “And his rooms were empty as well.”
“Where haven’t you checked?” the high priest demanded curtly, equally as afraid for his cousin as he was for the blonde. Herihor nodded his head toward the door that Seth had just passed.
“I was just on my way to begin a search of the courtyard.”
*****
Atem sighed as he meandered through the gardens toward the shrine, enjoying the gentle, relaxing scents of papyrus and lotus that wafted through the air. It was true that Seth was expecting to meet him in his chambers, but the beautiful night had called to him through his window, seducing him with the promise of the cool breezes and delicate fragrances that he was delighting in now. Knowing that his cousin- upon finding his rooms empty- would come to the right conclusion, Atem had succumbed, the only thing preventing him from fully enjoying his stroll through the moonlit courtyard being the fact that Katenen was not there with him. He knew that the blonde would have assisted him in voicing the evening prayers, but Katenen had seemed so worn when they had parted last, that the god-king hadn’t had the heart to ask.
A small, pensive smile toyed at the corners of Atem’s mouth, just as it always did when thinking about the blonde. He had told Katenen almost three weeks ago about his feelings for him. He hadn’t been able to help it; not with the way Katenen had looked that day, the golden rays of the setting sun coming in through the balcony window, bathing the blonde’s lithe body and beautiful face in a light so perfect that it had to have shone from the face of Ra himself… his elegant features serious as he studied the scrolls for the Udjat Ceremony… his full, luscious lips silently mouthing the words… Atem bit back a groan of desire, feeling himself harden by merely ~recalling~ the exquisite vision. ‘Ra,’ he thought longingly, ‘if the man can do this to me ~fully clothed~, I can only imagine…’
Swallowing harshly, the god king pushed the tantalizing thought from his mind. Truth be told, he ~had~ ‘imagined’, on several occasions… but always alone, in his chambers. It never took long, just a fleeting vision of the blonde writhing beneath him, those tawny eyes burning up at him with a lust hot enough to sear his soul… Atem groaned again and dropped down onto a nearby bench. He knew that Katenen felt ~something~ for him; the lingering glances and gorgeous blushes that he’d caught on the other’s face, coupled with the wistful longing that had shone briefly through the shy confusion when he had declared his feelings to the blonde had shown him that much. And that was what made it so difficult. If Katenen had out-and-out spurned him instead of giving him reason to hope… but that wasn’t what the god-king truly wanted either. No, what he ~wanted~ was Katenen, and not just his body- though Ra himself knew that he desired that ~greatly~. He wanted him heart, mind, and soul.
Atem’s shoulders hunched forward dejectedly as he gazed around the garden, trying to will his arousal away. There were still the evening prayers to attend to, and it would be a great disrespect to his Father to enter the shrine with more of his Ka in his groin than in his heart and mind. Suddenly, his eyes lit upon something pale, lying on the ground a few yards in front of him. Curious, for the courtyard was sanctioned off from all but those who were housed in the royal wing, Atem rose to his feet and strode toward the item. As soon as he was close enough to see what it was, he increased his pace. His cape… the cape that he’d placed over Katenen’s shoulders before they had parted last. ‘But how…’ His thoughts were abruptly cut off by a barely discernable sound from the long sedges that had grown up in the corner of the courtyard, opposite from where he’d been sitting. Before he had taken three steps toward the noise, the situation became horrifically clear, and all with the sound of a voice.
"Make one sound and I'll slit your throat," he heard Minnakht hiss, the Tjehenu’s next words confirming the identity of his victim. "It wouldn't matter to me. Your body would still be warm enough for me to get what I desire." Atem’s blood ran cold as he heard the man chuckle harshly. Despite the urge to rush forward and save the blonde, the god-king forced himself to move stealthily, knowing that, with no voice to cry for help, he truly was Katenen’s only hope. Grateful for the night wind that rustled through the sedges, he moved forward into the long grass, using the noise to cover his entry.
"I knew I was wise to bring this along," he heard Minnakht continue as he worked his way deeper into the brush. "Atem is stubborn, and he seems quite attached to his ahbe. But one way or another, I would have `persuaded' him to see things my way. And it came in handy in disposing of those guards that your so-called king posted outside my door.” Fury at the Tjenehu’s words washed over Atem in waves and, despite the gravity of the situation, he paused momentarily. It would do no good to either of them to give himself away because he had let his anger take reign. Once he felt himself calm enough to proceed without being caught, Atem loosed his dagger from its sheath and continued toward the others, rage nearly blinding him a second time as the captor and captive finally came into sight.
Minnakht had Katenen on his back, on the ground, the blade of an already-bloodied knife pressed tightly against the blonde’s throat. The Tjenehu had just finished stripping the other of his loincloth, throwing it carelessly to the side as he leered down at his captive. Once again Atem forced the anger away, honing in on the words of the foreigner and waiting for his chance to strike. "But enough talk," Minnakht was saying, pulling up his own linen kilt and loosening his loin cloth enough to permit his rigid length to pop out. "Spread your legs for me, ~my~ beautiful ahbe. Let me show you how it feels to be used by a real
man, instead of that weak excuse of a king that is Atem."
The god-king felt his stomach convulse as he watched Minnakht fondle his love, once again fighting the urge to rush in. Timing was everything, and the Tjenehu were infamous for their skills with the blade; if he struck before Minnakht was properly distracted… Gritting his teeth, Atem once again forced himself to wait- and was vastly rewarded for doing so.
"You are wrong." The god-king’s head jerked up in surprise when he heard Katenen’s voice… what was the blonde ~thinking~, speaking after he’d been threatened with death for doing so? "Atem is strong and compassionate, and ten times the man than you will ~ever~ be. He has ~never~ used me; he loves me. And with all of my heart and my soul I return his love, ~despite~ the fact that I am less than worthy to do so." A wave of emotions, one as strong as his rage had been earlier, threatened to drown the god-king as he heard Katenen’s words. Happiness filled his heart and overflowed his soul, threatening to bubble over in a loud, joyous laugh, despite the seriousness of the moment. He loved him. Katenen loved him.
An infuriated howl from Minnakht brought Atem’s mind back to the situation at hand. Apparently Katenen’s words had pushed the Tjehenu beyond his limits, for the foreigner had removed the blade from the blonde’s throat and was pressing it to his captive’s chest, just over his heart. "Well, then," he heard the man hiss. “If your heart and your soul are all that stand in my way, I can easily remedy the problem. After all, it's your body I desire, and not your love; as I said before, you need not be alive in order to sate me.” Atem’s eyes narrowed with hatred as he heard Minnakht continue to speak, calling Katenen an ahbe again.
“He is no ahbe, you insolent kalb,” he growled lowly as he moved to a better vantage point. “He is my Merwet-ankh and I will be damned to Ammut herself before I allow you to harm him.” Stealthily, Atem moved behind the Tjehenu, hoping to catch him off guard, but something had given him away. Minnakht glanced over his shoulder and locked gazes with the god-king. Smirking triumphantly, he lifted the knife to deal the final blow.
Atem flew into action; using the years of battle training his father had insisted on putting him through, he neatly sidestepped Minnakht and jerked Katenen away, mentally wincing as he saw the blade slice across the blonde’s naked chest and into his arm as a result of his action. But there would be time to attend to that later. With the grace and agility of a cat belonging to Bast herself, Atem turned in one fluid motion and kicked the Tjehenu squarely in the chest, forcibly driving him onto his back. Before Minnakht could recuperate, he felt his head yanked back by his hair, effectively exposing the cords of his neck to the furious god-king’s blade.
“Is there anything you think you could spew from your cursed mouth to convince me to spare your life?” Atem glowered, the finely honed edge of his knife already drawing blood from the foreigner’s neck. Minnakht merely smirked and spat in his face… the final act of his pathetic and treacherous life.
Not bothering to retrieve his knife from the Tjehenu’s throat, Atem hurriedly moved back to where Katenen lay. The ground was soaked with blood; the point of Minnakht’s blade had skated across the blonde’s chest, but the finely honed edge had sliced deeply into the flesh of his upper arm. Peering down into his beloved’s face, he sighed in relief when he saw Katenen gazing up at him. However, the tawny eyes abruptly fell shut and the blonde’s body began to tremble, succumbing to the cold and shock. Cursing, Atem leapt to his feet with the intent of retrieving the cape he had come across earlier, only to stop abruptly when he saw Herihor and Seth running toward him, the very item he’d desired clenched in his cousin’s hands.
“Hurry, Seth, please,” he cried out, instantly growing angry when the approaching males stopped in their tracks. “Why do you hesitate? He is already unconscious, and continues to lose blood whilst the two of you stand there, gaping!” The god-king’s words brought the two to their senses, and immediately they began moving again. Turning back to Katenen, Atem dropped to the ground and cradled the blonde’s head in his lap, crooning to him gently and lovingly stroking his cheek, trying to bring him back into consciousness. His attention was diverted when he noticed the cape being laid over the blonde’s trembling body. Glancing up, he saw that Seth stood alone.
“Where is Herihor?” he demanded shortly, tucking the robe more securely around the blonde. ”Well?” Atem looked up and saw his high priest staring at him once again. “Honestly, Seth, what is with you tonight?”
The brunette shook his head incredulously and dropped to the ground next to the god-king. “Herihor went for Anhay; he insisted upon it, despite what she has been through today. They love Katenen dearly, and would be devastated if…” Seth trailed off and then once again looked at his cousin, his expression a combination of amusement and awe. “You really don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?” Atem snapped, his frustration nearing the breaking when Seth began to chuckle.
“And to think,” the brunette said amusedly, “I was actually beginning to ~miss~ the sound of your voice.” Atem glared for a moment longer, and then Seth’s statement finally sunk in.
“I… I am speaking?” he stammered stupidly, causing another burst of laughter to come from his cousin. Crimson eyes searched the high priest’s face, hope and disbelief warring in their depths. “Seth, speak the truth; you can hear me?” Even as he uttered the words he knew it was true, realizing immediately that it had been his returning voice that had alerted Minnakht to his presence.
Despite his continued amusement at his cousin’s expense, Seth’s blue eyes softened with love and compassion as he gave the other his answer. “I swear by all that is holy, Atem; I can.”
*TBC*
Translations
Muti- Jackass
Tjehenu- Ancient Egyptian word for the Libyans of their time
Hemet- Wife
Nedjem- Sweet one
Muti- Jackass
Udjat- Summer Solstice
http://showcase.netins.net/web/ankh/calendar1.html- Website where I found the information on Udjat
Ahbe- Whore
Kalb- Dog
Merwet- ankh- Life’s love
Ammut- devourer of souls found unworthy to pass to the beautiful west
Bast- protector of cats, she is also Goddess of sunrise, love, fertility, birth, music and dance.