The Sweetest Taboo

Get your tissues out...we have a depressed Yami! I hope you guys like this chappie. Yami realizes the error of his ways...but is it too late? He ponders upon that one nig

DISCLAIMER: They ain't mine!

My heart hurts, a great deal.

I turn over in my bed with a heavy sigh, thinking of the events of
the past week. If I could turn the hands of time back, I'd pretend
this had never happened. I'd give anything to have things the way the
used to be.

For a whole week now, Yugi has not spoken to me, except to be polite
and ask me to pass things to him or other such nonsense. We haven't
had a decent conversation ever since he busted me making love to
Seto. It hurts, true, but I brought all this on myself. He was so
hurt and disappointed in me that it felt like a part of me had died.

We don't even share the same bed anymore. I've taken to sleeping in
the guestroom to avoid any further conflict. Sometimes I just morph
to my Soul Room and let Kage hold me close as I pour out my feelings
and emotions. He just listens to me vent, never judging or scolding.
He always seems to know what I need, without me even asking for it.

Another thing that is really bothering me…Yugi seems to be spending a
lot more time with Joey. I mean, I shouldn't be jealous, but after
learning what I did—that Yugi and Joey were semi-lovers—I can't help
but feel a little put out. I mean, Yugi is MINE. His soul, his
essence, his innocence all belong to ME. He is my hikari... and I am
his Yami.

Apparently not anymore. eemseems as though I am not needed.
Especially after what I saw the other day.

Joey walked Yugi home from school, and the two of them were laughing
and talking outside of the game shop. They were right by the front
door, so I had a clear view. Joey leaned down and gently kissed Yugi
on the lips, to my utter chagrin. Yugi made no move to push him away
either. In that moment, I felt my heart shatter into a thousand
pieces. Those kisses belong to ME. I am his protector, not Joey. He
should smile and laugh only at and for ME.

I have no one to blame for this... except for the one I see in the
mirror daily. Myself, and my beautiful, equally hurt dragon.

My poor Seto…I've seen him several times out on the street, looking
lost. He's lost weight, and is not his usual sharp and commanding
self. It's like his heart has been ripped out. I overhead Yugi on the
phone with Joey (grrrr) the other day, and he was telling him that
he'd spoken to Mokuba. Apparently, Mokuba is highly disgusted with
his big brother... shock upon shock. I never thought that day would
come. Even when Seto hurt Yugi's grandfather, Mokuba STILL loved and
looked up to his brother. Obviously, Joey isn't the only person he's
lost.

Poor baby.

I must find a way to rectify this situation. Yugi means the world to
me. I love him so very much, and I need him in my life. Without him,
I am only a shadow of the man I once was. Without him, I feel lost,
alone.

I love you, mou hitori no ore. Why can't you see that? I have
repented for my sin in hurting you like this. I now know my lesson,
and will stay away from Seto Kaiba.

I miss you. I miss hearing your soft breaths at night, miss feeling
your soft skin slide against mine. I miss telling jokes and hearing
you laugh. I miss hearing your thoughts, your confessions, your hopes
and dreams. I miss seeing your eyes light up when I walk into a room.
I miss holding my mental chats with you. I miss holding simple
conversation with you. Do you long for me as well, hikari? Or has my
light side completely gone out, like a candle flame in the wind?

More than anything, I miss making love with you. I miss feeling you
arch into my touch, begging me to go faster or deeper. I miss your
tight, warm walls, clenching me and holding me tight. I miss the
sound of your cries of pleasure as you gain your release. I miss the
taste of your cum upon my lips. I miss the feel of your lips upon my
arousal. Do you hunger for me as well, little one? Or is Joey taking
my place as your friend, confidante, and lover?

I turn over in my cold and lonely bed, pressing my face into my
pillow. Sadly, I take my extra pillow and hold it tightly, wishing it
were my aibou. I feel something trickling down my cheek. With a
start, I realize it's a tear.

I need you in my life once again, Yugi. Even though you may not want
me. I love you still.

I will find a way to get you back.

I put that vow on everything I hold dear.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

'I heard he sang a lullaby
I heard he sang it from his heart
When I found out I thought I would die
Because that lullaby was mine.

I heard he sealed it with a kiss.
He gently kissed his cherry lips.
I found that so hard to believe
Because his kiss belonged to me.

How could an angel break my heart?
Why didn't he catch my falling star?
I wish I didn't wish so hard.
Maybe that wish would fall apart.
How could an angel break my heart?'

*wipes eyes* That was so sad! The song is this chapter's title, "How Could An Angel Break My heart?", by Toni Braxton. I actually cried writing this! Chappie ten coming soon, it's being beta'd right now by Yami Czarina(huugggggsss, Czar Czar!). It's Joey's POV, too. LOok for it soon you guys, and thanks for reading/reviewing!