To Lose

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh Gx. I do not own the basis for this fanfiction, the concept is taken with permission from “Yami’s Chan” fanfiction ‘Slut’. I make no money from this.


To Lose
By 11


Chapter 08
Slut

Shock. Chazz registered it in only a second. What were they doing?! Those faceless boys were crowded around Jaden.

Their backs currently facing Chazz, and they were looking at something. What were they doing?!

Chazz’s blood pounded, boiling, panicked. They were showing something to Jaden. What was that paper?!

He dashed over – but he was frozen by what he saw. – Pictures?! There were pictures now?!! When had those been taken?!

“Bet you didn’t know he did that sort of thing, huh?” the one on Jaden’s right laughed.

Was Chazz dreaming? Some horrible nightmare?

“There’s more of these too.”

No… no… this couldn’t be – but Chazz wasn’t dreaming. He couldn’t even shout, and shove the photos from Jaden’s hands – he’d already seen.

Jaden knew; and Jaden would hate him.

Their smug voices drawled on and Chazz couldn’t move – Jaden wasn’t reacting – he wasn’t saying anything – and Chazz was too scared to move to see his face, or let them realize he’d run up behind them.

He should have run – so he wouldn’t have to actually see it when Jaden… he didn’t ever want to see hate in Jaden. He didn’t want that hate directed at him.

“So now you know that guy’s a slut, a dirty whore!”

“You know what else?” another snickered, “That guy even says ‘your’ name – even when this guy’s dick is up his ass! Did you know that?”

They were laughing. Chazz’s blood was boiling. He was mortified, and he was frozen. No… no… Jaden… Jaden still hadn’t responded.

Jaden-

Jaden ripped the pictures in halves! Then fourths! Then he stood and grabbed the center guy – the assumed leader – by his coat collar, “You guys are really despicable!”

What?

“How can scum like you be so proud of yourselves like that?” Jaden was almost snarling at them.

“I mean sure, good job on photoshop, but I’ve seen this movie!” Jaden shoved the youth backward, and he tripped over the uneven flooring, the boys all standing back from the slifer. “I’m not going to believe garbage like this! You guys leave Chazz alone – or you’ll answer to me!”

Chazz could have died right there. Jaden was such an idiot, but he was so happy for that – he couldn’t hold back a short undignified sound, relief and the accompanying joy that he hadn’t lost him!

Jaden turned and saw him at the sound, and walking past the boys, tossing the paper bits into the trash, he took Chazz’s hand and kept walking.

Chazz didn’t protest at being led for the moment, but it had happened too quickly and he didn’t remain too dazed for long.

“Let go of my hand!” he snatched his limb back, familiar annoyance in his voice, “What was…” he stopped himself, unsure how to proceed. Jaden said he didn’t believe it but-?

“Chazz you’ve got to tell someone about this! A professor, the principal, someone with the authority to get those guys shut down!”

What?

Jaden was still talking but Chazz wasn’t listening – his blood froze at the very concept! Tell someone?!! Someone with authority?! Hell no!! No one could know about-!! No one could know about that stuff!! To even contemplate admitting such things made Chazz feel bile rise in his throat.

“-this kind of slander isn’t something you’d normally endure! I can’t believe it’s gone on as long as it has! You have to do something about it! Tell Crowler! Tell the principal!”

“No!” Chazz growled ever part of him rebelling at the idea of explaining this situation to anyone!! It made him sick already but to have to have other witnesses, to have others know about it, it made him shake with revulsion.

“Why?” Jaden looked shocked that Chazz had disagreed with him.

“No one will ever know!” Chazz growled sticking to his decision – and Jaden wasn’t going to tell anyone anything either!

It was a miracle that he had mistaken actual photos for some sort of slander scheme against him – but to actually divulge the truth of what was going on? Never!

“Why? Because of your pride?” Jaden’s face marred by exasperation, “Damnit Chazz! How is that worth it? You’re reputation is already damaged, the worst that could happen is it comes out it’s all a lie!”

Except it wasn’t a lie. Chazz would never admit to that. He would never admit that he’d fallen this far. If he had to admit it to anyone other than himself, it could very well destroy whatever shreds were still left of his pride, his self worth! It had only infuriated him further when he couldn’t think of way out on his own!

Jaden sighed, taking Chazz’s scowling silence as an affirmation that he refused to tell anyone. Jaden at least it seemed wouldn’t go off telling important people on Chazz’s behalf.

“Fine, be that way.” Jaden muttered before looking back at his friend, “But this bullying, it’s going to escalate. You know that right?” Chazz didn’t respond, he knew, it already had. “When it does – at least tell me, I want to help.”

Chazz bit back a bitter laugh. As if Jaden could help with anything in this situation. “Why bother?”

“ ‘Why bother?’ !” Jaden repeated loudly, incredulous, “We’re friends Chazz! I don’t like this! I still think you should tell someone! If you don’t want me to tell anyone, I won’t, but you have to tell me when it gets worse – because this kind of thing-!!”

Jaden bit down angrily, and looked like he would say more, but Chazz stopped him. “Thanks.”

He was honest when he said it. In a way he was glad Jaden was angry for him, and he didn’t want to argue anymore – Jaden still didn’t understand, and with any luck he never would. “Don’t worry, I’m going to deal with this my own way.”

At least his voice sounded more certain than he felt. He still didn’t know what he could do – but he had to think of something. He turned to go, and he hadn’t moved more than a step when Jaden stopped him.

Chazz automatically tensed when Jaden’s arms locked around him, but it hardly took a moment before he relaxed into the warmth – it was comfortable. It was Jaden so how could it not be?

“Remember, I’m here to help.” Jaden told him, any remnants of petulance over Chazz’s stubbornness was gone, and Chazz didn’t bother to fight the pleasant buzzing sensation singing through his veins at both the words and the warm embrace.

He was still amazed by whatever idiocy of circumstance allowed him to keep Jaden just a little longer. He already knew it would further escalate, but not in a way that he could tell Jaden – or anyone else for that matter.

He had to come up with a plan on his own. But once more he had to ask himself, once he was alone again, what could he do?

`

What could he do?

Chazz hissed when Sartorius drove inside him. The older youth’s hips slid back out and in beginning the familiar gyration. Chazz no longer could understand why he kept coming here.

He grit his teeth at the vague sting along his backside. It didn’t feel good anymore – not that it really ever had, but the eyes that made him feel worth something were gone. That alone had been the reason to begin such a thing.

He didn’t have a reason to keep coming back here anymore. Except that this had become pattern, one he couldn’t seem to break. It was as if something terrible would happen if he didn’t.

It felt like ages, and the sickness mounted – he wasn’t sure exactly when it started but he did know the pain lessened if he closed his eyes, because then he could see Jaden. If it was Jaden, would it still sting so much?

No, at least if it was Jaden he wouldn’t have that strange open-mouthed stupid fish-like disgusting face. His breath never sounded like a pig with asthma. If it was Jaden – would he hear that sound again? That sharp sweet cry he’d only ever heard that once before?

Chazz shuddered as Sartorius finally finished and pulled out. Sartorius normally wouldn’t have payed too much attention to Chazz after he’d had his fun, since before the pale youth would have dropped off to sleep or just stayed silent.

At the end though there was a whisper, and Sartorius felt rage boil beneath his skin at the name he heard just barely uttered. ‘Jaden.’

“What was that, Charles?” Sartorius asked kindly, any malice or fury hidden behind a skillfully cultivated silver tongue.

“Nothing,” Chazz responded after a moment as if only just becoming aware he’d uttered a single sound. “My mind was just wandering.”

The fury mounted, and still he hid it. “During our time together?” Because his toy had the nerve to let his ‘mind wander’ during sex with him?! Sartorius turned away frowning, allowing an expression of offense perturb his expression.

Chazz looked up at him and Sartorius didn’t like the expression on that face, Chazz wasn’t worried what he thought, he didn’t even seem really concerned, just vaguely confused – confused?! “It’s… not like that?”

“Not like what Charles?” Sartorius inquired still biting back furious curses and violent rage. When Chazz didn’t respond, only looked away, Sartorius felt his patience snap. He was quickly getting tired of this game.

“Well if you can’t even explain yourself, perhaps there’s somewhere else you’d rather be tonight.” Sartorius said allowing an edge to his voice, “Go on, get out of here. Go to your other lover. Go to Jaden.”

This time Chazz didn’t even bother to refute his claims toward Jaden, Chazz didn’t even hesitate to stay in bed any longer.

He was up out and dressed and bolting across the obelisk dormitory lawn towards the slifer building faster than Sartorius could remember – and it made him acutely furious. He constricted his hands to his sides to keep from clawing the nearest object to pieces.

He really had been too soft on him, he had completely underestimated the stupidity of Jaden and his influence on Chazz. Something had to be done.

This time he would break his toy completely.

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