The Heat of Your Touch

AN: I’m so fucked up…My own love problems are making me forget my own fic… I’m in a very big agony right now…Because sometimes love isn’t enough. There have to be other connections…

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“Ok. I’m listening.” Joey shifted in his chair.

It was the December 26th. Creamy white snow was covering the streets. Everything was white, erasing the darkness of reality for a tiny little moment and all the sorrow was replaced by happiness. The children were playing outside, making a huge snowman. Joey was looking through the window, expecting Kaiba to begin his talk.

He was feeling anxious, uncomfortable, regretting he started the subject.

Did it really matter right now? All the happiness was outside waiting for him to join the kids he would never have because he was gay. He wanted them to share their happiness with him.

That made him remember his own childhood.

It was catastrophically miserable.

And he was pretending to be cheerful all his life.

That was one unbreakable mask.

And everything was pure shit, he knew form experience.

Why would Kaiba’s and his relationship be an exception?

It was one unwritten rule-life of Joseph Wheeler was nothing but the pile of dog shits.

All the sorrow was within him.

He wished the children always remain children, excited and happy just like today. Never to be like him.

There, in his small apartment, was a silent drama.

Outside, it was just another one ordinary winter.

“Your kitchen is all blue. Why?”

Joey looked at him, surprised.

He wanted to talk about his kitchen?!

“Why do you ask?”

“It used to be white, but now is blue.”

Joey had redecorated it because he wanted to change things in his life. He did it when he moved out. And blue was symbolic color- the color of his lover’s eyes. Call him pathetic and sentimental, but that’s the way Joey was.

“It was feeling bored and…well.” he replied reluctantly.

Kaiba nodded.

“Did you want to tell me anything else?”

A small moment of silence.

“Ehm…No.” he replied hesitantly.

“Ok then.” Joey stood up, desperately trying not to show how much he was pissed off and disappointed, “I have to go to work now. You can stay if you want.” he said coldly.

---

He was a coward. And he knew he had disappointed his lover.

He knew the answers. Yet he couldn’t share them with Joey. He would feel exposed then. Vulnerable.

He phoned Mokuba, telling him he would stay at Joey’s place for one more day.

He sat beside the window, watching the children play outside.

His childhood…

It was…Like he’d lost all strings after his father’s death. He had grown up too early.

He was thinking and evaluating every possible situation and finally decided to tell Joey everything when he comes back. He was collecting courage because there was no turning back.

Love was sacrifice, after all. Maybe it was time for him to prove his love.

---

But he was nervous. He was about to explode.

He couldn’t concentrate on paperwork Roland had brought him.

He was too impatient to reveal his feelings.

He knew he’d screwed up.

And he hated imperfections.

So he just jumped, dropping everything on the floor.

He grabbed his expensive trench coat and stormed out of the building.

He needed to talk to Joey. And he needed it immediately.

---

Joey was working as a dispatcher at the police station. It was serious job and Joey liked it.

He has been working there since he graduated high school. His old man had helped him find the job, asking one of his old friends, the cop, to employ him.

Joey’s father had been an alcoholic, as we all know. And he had been getting into fights in drunken state. He had been imprisoned too many times. And he had developed friendship with one of the cops.

He had been a very frequent guest in jail. And that cop somehow had become his friend and helped him with his son’s employment, eventually.

It was the only good thing Mr. Wheeler had ever done for his son.

It was time for break. Joey went out to smoke.

It was an old and bad habit, but he couldn’t help it.

The endless white was before him. His eyes ached because of it. But he did nothing about it. He was just staring somewhere far, wondering how much he was giving to Seto and how much he was receiving from him. And his conclusion was dissatisfying.

There were plenty of moments when he wanted to shut down, not to die, but to disappear.

Simply to disappear, dematerialize until the better times.

To erase his memory, to be unaware of suffer and pain.

Because nothing had sense.

Everything was so absurd and ridiculous.

His love for Seto.

Their twisted relationship.

Everything.

“What’s bothering you, pal?” he felt a tap on his shoulder.

When he turned around, he saw Dan, one of the young cops.

He had brown hair and had some kind of stupid green eyes, expressionless and lustful.

“N-nothing.” Joey replied. It was none of his business.

“Big Kaiba Seto dumped you, isn’t it?” asked Dan. Joey was the most familiar as ‘Kaiba Seto’s boy’. He hated his title, but what he could do?

“No…It’s not your concern, anyways.” Joey replied coldly.

He has been trying to get into Joey’s pants ever since he came to the station. Joey disliked him.

“Then what is it? You told him you loved him and he just laughed in your face?” Dan was teasing him.

But it was nothing like that.

“He loves me. “ Joey said, “So back off. You know nothing about it.”

“Has he ever told you?” Dan was persistent.

“He showed me.”

“How? By screwing you?” his voice was husky, emphasizing the word ‘screwing’.

“What the fuck do you want, Dan?!”

‘Just to open your eyes…as a friend.”

Joey snorted when he heard the word ‘friend’. It sounded so disgusting coming out from Dan’s mouth. It lost its meaning.

“Did you know that Kaiba has affairs aside?”

Joey shook his head violently.

“No, he hasn’t.”

“How can you be sure? I mean, his business trips and all…”

“Just shut up already!” Joey raised his voice. “I don’t want to hear a word more!”

Dan smiled devilishly, approaching him.

“He’s so cold, isn’t he? And you’re dying for warmth. You know it. Love is something that you will never receive from Kaiba.” he closed the distance between him and Joey by crushing their lips together.

---

Kaiba was so thrilled he would finally tell Joey. He wasn’t ready, but confession was something utterly necessary at the moment.

He was so well known by the police officers so he just passed by them in a hurry. He knew it was time for Joey’s pause, so he went to the beck entrance.

And he froze in his tracks when seeing Dan and Joey kissing.

His body just stopped functioning.

At first, it was disbelief.

Then it was rage.

Disappointment and the question: ‘How could you?!’ was screaming in his head.

But he was too proud to make a scene.

He just turned around and ran off the police station.

---

Joey didn’t know should he kiss back or not. Maybe Dan was right about Seto. Maybe Seto isn’t ready to love and he just couldn’t admit it to himself. And that possibility was driving Joey insane.

He was dying for warmth, but not from this man. It was all wrong, he loved Seto. He wanted to kiss only Seto. He wanted to fuck only him.

So he pushed Dan away and punched him.

“Don’t you ever dare to do such thing again!” he hissed, “Otherwise I’ll sue you!” he entered the building, leaving Dan to drink his own blood.

---

Kaiba was sitting in the dark when Joey arrived.

“I had a really bad day at work.” he started babbling immediately.

‘Yeah, right’ Seto thought.

“Can you imagine what happened…” Joey wanted to tell everything to Seto. Seto could protect him if necessary.

But Kaiba cut him off, kissing him passionately.

There was something strange about him…

“Seto…?”

“I just want to bed you right now.” he whispered, but his voice was different. Something was wrong.

He dragged Joey to the bedroom, undressing him quickly.

Joey was a little surprised, but actually didn’t mind being stripped and touched…by the man he loved.

Kaiba slid his tongue into Joey’s mouth, wrestling with Joey’s tongue, the wetness of his cavern was making him aroused.

Joey was kissing back hungrily, moaning softly into the kiss.

He was stripping Kaiba in a hurry, looking forward to exposed flesh.

They fell on the bed, covering each other with passionate kisses, ravishing each other like never before.

Kaiba pushed Joey on his back, starting to massage blonde’s huge pulsing arousal.

Joey’s eyes were begging for faster movements, but he assumed it was Kaiba’s way to torture him.

“I will take you in my mouth.” he said huskily to the blonde, not breaking the eye contact. “You will see stars. You will scream my name. You will beg.” he was stroking faster with every word. Joey was taking in those words, his member so painfully hard, harder after every Kaiba’s stroke, after every his word.

“Yes…” he moaned.

Kaiba licked his lips seductively, gesturing with his tongue that Joey would have so damn good blowjob.

His tongue was wet and hot, thirsty for semen.

“But I’ll consider whether you’ll come or not.”

“What?!...Just suck on it…” Joey groaned feverishly.

Then the CEO’s tongue started his hot dance over the top, circling and tickling, teasing… That was driving Joey insane. He became even harder.

He was sucking on almost violently, Joey’s cock reaching to the very end of Kaiba’s throat.

“Just keep on…Oh, fuck, Seto! You’re the best…”

‘Same old phrase…’Seto thought bitterly. If only Joey knew that it was their last sex…

But he continued sucking on, feeling Joey’s nails digging his back.

Pain was spreading all over them, but it didn’t matter. He was masochist. It really didn’t matter. Now, when everything was lost for them…

All that effort, for what? To catch his beloved in arms of another…

‘Your love speeches…I should have known…’

Although he was mad, he was turned on so badly. He wanted to take the blonde, to mark him for good, so every other male that touch him would know…Joseph Wheeler used to belong to Kaiba Seto.

And he knew how pathetic he was.

He knew he’d always be pathetic, tricked like that…His anger…the anger of a fool…

Joey was moaning, thrusting into Kaiba’s mouth like crazy.

As it was time for him to come, Kaiba stopped.

“Seto…Please…”

“No, puppy.” said Seto.

“Why?” he almost cried in desperation.

“Because.” he said coldly.

“What is wrong?” Joey stood up, frustrated and concerned.

Seto lowered his head, sitting on that small messy bed.

“Tell me, Seto.” Joey sat beside him, touching him everywhere, nuzzling his neck.

“It was your spirit.” Seto whispered.

“Huh?”

“Your unbreakable spirit.” he said and picked his boxers from the floor.

“Toss them.”

“I’m leaving, pup.”

“Oh, no, you’re not!” Joey pushed him back on the bed, making him spread his legs to the limit of pain.

Joey was smiling, satisfied.

“Why are you smiling?” Kaiba’s voice was broken and sad.

“At least you said one reason. Your confession was short, but enough.” he bent down to kiss him.

He penetrated him without lubricant, hearing Kaiba scream in pain.

He started thrusting violently, to the very end, knocking Kaiba so hard that Kaiba was the one to see the stars.

“Harder…” he cried out, half horny, half torn apart by endless sorrow in his heart.

Joey did so, thrusting harder that his cock was in serious pain now.

“Seto…” he moaned.

“Faster!”

“Oh, fucking yes!”

“Pease…this isn’t e-enough…”

“I can’t…”

“Joey! Please…Push it o-over the e-edge…”

Joey was doing his best, both of them in unbearable pain.

Love was pain, after all.

Sweat pouring down their bodies, hearts near to explode, beating in unhealthy rhythm.

Both men near collapsing.

Kaiba was recalling and recalling, falling into endless abyss of memories as he came, screaming his lover’s name.

“Ooooh!” Joey came into him, his body aching so badly.

He collapsed on the brunette, placing his head on his chest.

Kaiba lifted took Joey’s head with his hands, making him look at him.

He was running his fingers through the blond mess of hair.

Joey recognized the sad and broken look in Kaiba’s orbs.

“Seto, what?” he whispered sadly.

“I’m leaving you, pup.”

“What?” Joey shook his head in disbelief.

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TBC if you want me to.