My life my pain

POV Jou

I was both excited and nervous about the drive with Kaiba. Those two incidents with him…God I wish they had been intentional and not just a side effect; but those feelings were dangerous. I was afraid Kaiba would discover how hot I am for him, and therefore would discern my orientation.

The day had been exhausting for both Kaiba and I. Kaiba looked really sick and his body was so weak that he had to lean on me just to get into the limo. Not that he would admit I was helping him, mind you.

“Jounouchi, are you alright? You look a bit troubled,” he asked me once we were in the limo. I sighed. I loved Ryou and Yugi. I really did. I would do anything for the two of them, but…well, I couldn’t handle another responsibility, and Bakura and Yami had made it clear they trusted me to take care of their mates. What if something happened to them before the Yamis got back? Would it be my fault? Yugi and Ryou needed to accompany Kaiba to Egypt, which meant I would have to go too. That meant leaving my job and my dad behind for a while. I could take off from my job for a few weeks, but my dad…and than I would have to pay for a plain ticket and…

“Jounouchi?”

“I… no, I’m okay. It’s just that…how will we get Ryou and Yugi out of the hospital? I mean, even if Yugi is conscious and Ryou acts normal I don’t think they will just let them go. Yugi will still be too weak to leave, let alone fly around for some time and Ryou…even if the police go soft on him, they won’t let him leave the country. Especially in his unstable condition.” I shuddered at the memory of Ryou´s murder. I know he did it to defend himself and that girl, but that didn’t change the fact that he killed someone with his own hands. I wondered how he would deal with it when he was fully back to normal, when he didn’t have a recreation of Bakura to hide behind…

“Don’t worry Jounouchi, I can…”

“Would you stop that already?” I interrupted him.

“Stop what?”

“Stop calling me Jounouchi, it makes me feel old. Call me Jou like everybody else.”

“Not puppy?” Kaiba joked and I groaned. I had forgotten that dreadful nickname he gave me in high school; granted, it had been “mutt” then, and puppy sounded much cuter, almost like a pet name…Mhhh, I would like him to pet me…

“Okay,” Kaiba interrupted my thoughts, “but you’ll have to call me Seto then.”

“Okay… Seto”

Kaiba smiled. “Anyway, you don’t have to worry about how to get these two out of the hospital. Believe me; I’m not just powerful in the game industry.”

He looked so confident. “If you say so, Seto.” (God, how I liked to say his name). Although, we should wait at least a week or so. Ryou’s and especially Yugi’s physical conditions are unsteady, and I bet you can’t just leave your business without someone in charge, right?”

“You’re coming with me?”

“Of course I am; you can’t handle the two of them alone in their condition. Besides, Yami and Bakura entrusted them to me.” I couldn’t help the deep sigh that escaped me. I hoped Seto didn’t notice.

We arrived at the Kaiba mason and got out of the car. Seto was still shaky, so I helped him walk into the house. He opened the door and the first thing I noticed was the extremely loud Rn´B sound which clanged through the house. At my questioning look Seto rolled his eyes and said “Mokuba and his ideas of the right atmosphere to do his homework.”

“Seto?” Mokuba came down the stairs. He hadn’t changed much since the last time I had seen him. He was now as tall as Ryou, and he still had that long black mop of hair. Although the two brothers weren’t similar in looks, Mokuba had the same air of confidence surrounding him; however, his features and body language weren’t as controlled as his brother’s.

He froze when he saw me.

“Oh god, Jou…I…I swear I have the best intentions towards her.” He sputtered.

“Hello to you too. What are you talking about?”

Mokuba gloubed “Your s…ah…Seto, you look pale. Are you alright? Did you forget to eat while working again?”

Was it just me, or had he changed the subject? Whatever; who understands teenagers anyway?

“Everything is fine,” Seto reassured his younger brother. “I’m just a bit tired, and Jou offered to accompany me home.”

“Ohhh…well then, I’ll be at the telephone in my room if you need anything. Bye Jou.” Mokuba left with a nervous look in my direction. Strange kid.

“Calling his mysterious girlfriend again, I bet. I swear, this time he’ll pay the phone bill.” Kaiba grumbled. I smiled at that. Seto and Mokuba had the same relationship Shizuka and I would have if she lived with me. Shizuka visits me and dad as often as she can, or as often as her mom allows, which isn’t often. My mom hates my dad and me; I look just like a younger copy of him. Like always when I thought about my mother I felt the painful sting of rejection.

“Come on,” I sighed. “I’ll take you to your room and leave you, so you can rest.”

“You don’t have to.” I should have known he wouldn’t accept any help from me. “Leave, I mean. We can talk, or…watch a movie or something.” Okay, that was unexpected.

“I, well… I don’t know…”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Seto said quickly. “I just thought that…”

“It’s not that I don’t want to; it’s just that I’ll have to arrange some stuff before we leave. My sister will have to look after my dad, and I need to schedule a break from work; I’ll have to ask for an advance too. You know, for the plane tickets and…”

“Nonsense. We will take my private airplane. You won’t have to pay for anything. We’ll probably stay at Marik’s anyway, and if not, believe me, I am capable enough to get the four of us under a roof.”

I struggled a bit. I didn’t like taking charity, but it would be stupid to decline his offer. “I…I’m embarrassed to accept the offer, but thank you. That’s really nice off you,” I said, and in my mind I was already planning someway to pay him back.

He gave me a small smile. “You can call your sister and the restaurant from here. So please, stay.”

I nodded and his smile grew wider. After he motioned me to the phone I called my sister; the line was busy, so I called the restaurant.

“Ristornate Piccolo Mondo, buena sera.”

“Hey Gino, it’s me, Jou; can I ask for a favour?”

“Anything for you, piccolino.” I heard the rich accented voice from the other end of the line. Gino had lived in Japan for almost 20 years now and he had never been able to lose his accent.

“Well, I need to take off work for two weeks, starting after the next. Two…no, actually four of my friends are in trouble, and there might be a way to help them and I need to go away for a while, and…”

“Don’t say anymore. It’s okay. God knows you have earned yourself a break. In fact, jut take your break tomorrow, my nice s here and offered to help anyway. Have you told your father of your plans already? He was here today. He didn’t mention anything.” My dad and Gino had been friends for ages. Gino was the only of my father’s few friends who had stayed loyal to him after his divorce, job loss, and obvious drinking problems. Their friendship was the reason I ever got that job.

“Not yet, but I will tonight. I have to ask another favour of you. I will ask Shizuka to look after him, but she can’t be there all the time, and if he gets drunk…”

“I will look after him. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

After I finished my call with Gino I tried to call my sister again, but the line was still busy. Well, I’d call her tomorrow.

Kaiba, who had waited the whole time, was leaning against the door frame and looked…damn hot. Shit, it is really a good idea to stay here?

“Well.” I swallowed. “What kind off movies do you have here?”

We settled down in the living room in front of a big flat screen and decided on a light action comedy. It wasn’t too far into the movie when I heard Seto’s breathing change, and I looked over to see him curled up in his corner of the couch, deeply asleep. Again I realized how young and innocent he looked in his sleep. The movie was soon forgotten; instead I studied Kaiba. His elegantly formed eyebrows, his full sensual lips, his straight nose, his lips, his long eyelashes over closed eyes, his lips, his high, strong cheekbones, his lips…his lips… gods, I couldn’t take my eyes off of them; as if of it’s own accord, my hand raised and I traced his soft red lips. They felt as soft as they looked under my thumb. But how would they feel under my lips? No! I couldn’t do that. It was wrong to kiss someone while they were asleep. But… I raised my thumb to my own mouth and popped it into my mouth. All the while my eyes never left Seto’s lips. I moved my hand back to Seto’s lips and traced first the upper, then the lower with my saliva-slick fingers. Seeing his lips glistening with my saliva made me moan. Oh god, it was so erotic knowing it was my spittle that clung to his lip. My breath was short and my pants tight…

And I left. I couldn’t let anymore happen, or I would find myself naked next to the young CEO, asleep or not. I left a brief note on the table next to the entrance with my phone number. I was about to leave when the limo driver stopped me. “Mr. Kaiba ordered me to bring you home, sir. Please wait here. I will bring the car.” Who was I to turn down a free Limo drive? It was dark already, and I was tired.

When I arrived home I knew my father had been drinking again. I could smell it almost before I opened the door. Dad sat on the sofa in front of the TV. watching the snow storm channel. Tears streamed down his face; that wasn’t normal.

“Dad?” I asked. “You alright?”

“Huh? Oh Katsuya… shit, I’m sorry,” he sobbed out in a slurred voice, trying to dry his face with the back of his hand. “Drunk again. I just couldn’t stop. Was so alone…”

I sighed. Whenever my dad got drunk, he would either become angry or even sadder and more depressed than he had been before he drank. “I thought you went to Ginos today.”

He looked surprised and…embarrassed? “How did ya know?”

“I called him to ask for a break, I…well, you know Ryou and Yugi right? Well, we might have a chance to help them, but we will have to go to away for two weeks or so.”

“So you’re leaving me?” He shouted angrily at me.

Shit, I shouldn’t have told him when he was already depressed. “Just for two weeks, I’ll be back soon and…”

“You’re leaving me so you can help your faggot friends?” He stood and walked up to me with a very angry air about him.

I sighed. I knew how this would end. “I’ll leave in one week.”

BAM! His open hand slapped my face. It didn’t hurt much; not physically, anyway. My dad looked at his own hand, shocked, and dropped to his knees, sobbing. “I’m so sorry Katsuya! Oh god, I’m such a bad parent. You should just leave me for good. Oh god…what have I done?” He clung to my legs now, repeating over and over how sorry he was.

I couldn’t stand to see my dad this broken. “Dad, shhh. It’s okay. It didn’t hurt too much. I know you didn’t mean it. Let me take you to your bed. Come on.”

It wasn’t easy to drag my still sobbing dad to his bed, but we finally managed it. As I was about to leave, he caught my arm, but wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I’m sorry, Katsuya. I had a small fight with Gino today and it depressed me a bit.”

“What happened? He didn’t tell me anything when I spoke to him. He even agreed to look after you while I’m gone.”

“It was the same reason as always. My drinking and…never mind. He offered to look after me eh?” I saw a small smile spread across my father’s exhausted face. “I’m sorry about before, son. Please help your friends. I’ll be alright. Just…just come back afterwards and take care.” He must have cried the alcohol out of his system, because he spoke without a slur and was back to the dad I cared for.

“Thanks dad. Now go to sleep.” I had barely left the room when the phone rang. Who could that be, at this hour?

“Hello?”

“Jou? Thank god you’re home. You were gone when I woke up and I couldn’t get the driver on the line. I was so worried you had walked home on your own.” Seto was babbling breathlessly and sleepily into the phone. He was worried about me? Worried I had walked home alone? God, how cute can someone be?

“Your driver caught up with me. Not that it would have mattered if he didn’t; I’m a big boy you know,” I said jokingly.

“But I promised you I would bring you home. I asked you to stay, and then I just fell asleep. I’m sorry.”

I couldn’t help but giggle. “God Kaiba, what happened to you? I never knew you to be so considerate. Go back to sleep and call me tomorrow when you’re fully awake.” I hung up, still laughing slightly.


When I fell asleep that night I had a warm feeling all over, the incident with my dad forgotten. It was nice to know that somebody was worried about me.

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Sorry it took so long, but you know, that I am not English and therefore it takes me longer to write and the checking is really hard. I promise I will finish this fic…it is far from finished though…bear with me

Thanks to blackwidow for her help.

Thanks to everybody who has reviewed. You guys are such cuties. Next time we learn a bit about Hondas and Otogis story.