Still

Still

Summary: Sometimes it helps to simply be and feel your life.
Disclaimer: I don’t own YGO.
Warning:

It was still pretty early when Haga arrived at school, but none the less, Rikuo was waiting. He went to his locker and gave a smile to the boy, exchanging his books for the day.

“Haga?” he whispered.

He looked up into amber eyes and received a fiery kiss. The mint haired boy turned crimson, thinking of last night, thinking of this morning. Thinking of now.

Rikuo slipped his tongue into the other boy’s mouth and they stood there mouth to mouth, wrestling for a time before they heard footfalls down the hall and stopped. The insector closed his locker and leaned against it.

It was different from being with Espa. They would have been in the bathroom now, at each other’s flies, trying to find relief.

Rikuo leaned into him again, kissing him with a hint of desperation.

Haga kept his eyes open and saw that the dark haired boy’s eyes were screwed shut, his glasses high on the bridge of his nose.

Have I ever had my eyes open before?

He felt the larger hands smoothing over his shirt, playing at the buttons.

Am I supposed to have my eyes open? When I’m with Espa we close our eyes sometimes but -

He felt hands going lower and tapped Rikuo’s chest with flat palms, withdrawing. “Stop.”

The midnight haired boy stopped, blushing furiously and fixing his glasses. “I’m sorry!” He stepped away and bowed. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me –”

Haga fixed his shirt and glasses and Rikuo turned away. “I’ll…I’ll see you at lunch!”

He ran off before Haga could say anything.

That was odd. It had its moments. Why am I analyzing this. Rikuo’s cute, popular, and he wants you. Be satisfied.

He sat at the foot of his locker and cracked open a book. It would be sometime until the school day began.

****

Ryuzaki sat behind a shady tree, cigarette hanging from his lips. He’d had every intention of smoking it, but, his arms felt dead at his sides.

He slumped a little more and sighed as the sick coiling in his stomach reminded him what a dumbass he was for not packing a lunch or at least buying something from the machines.

It was all too late anyway. He didn’t feel like moving now anyway. And if he did, he’d just see Haga. Which isn’t what he wanted.

He’d said goodbye to those feelings this morning. Haga obviously had a boyfriend. He could lust all he wanted, yearn all he wanted, but in the end facts were facts.

“No wonder mosquitoes out lived the T-Rex…” he pulled his cap down over his eyes and wondered why the hell he was wearing the thing if it was nearly ninety degrees.

’Cause I’m a blazing jack ass, that’s why… He slipped it off and gave a bit off fluff to his hair, holding it up and cooling his neck. Wish I had a rubber band or something…

“And what are you doing?”

He looked up, recognizing the familiar voice with just enough smirk in it to make you cringe.

“Posing for a picture. Get out of my face Haga. Where’s your boyfriend?”

The insector laughed. “Well, he ran off again after I stopped him from feeling me up…again.”

“Hn. He sure does like you. Now go away.”

Haga frowned, crossing his arms. “No! I was coming over here to see if the Antherea yamamai caterpillar was still here! Have some tact!”

Ryuzaki flipped him off and Haga growled, his face screwing up in anger before he yelled, “MOVE YOU JACKASS!”

Ryuzaki yelled back. “HOW ABOUT NO YOU MAGGOT?!”

The insector kicked Ryuzaki in the leg and the lilac banged brunette cursed, standing up and giving Haga a shove.

“I don’t care about your stupid insects!”

“It’s not an insect! It’s going to be a silk moth! I’ll bet if it was a stupid lizard you’d care!”

Ryuzaki shook his head. “I could care less! I’m not obsessed like you!”

Haga pushed up his glasses which were quickly leaving his face. “I’m not obsessed! Now move or I’ll move you!”

Rikuo came over, looking worried. “Is there a problem Haga?”

“NO!” they both responded vehemently, glaring at each other.

Haga narrowed his eyes at Ryuzaki and the Dinosaur master crossed his arms over his chest, frowning.

The tension was thick and suddenly, Haga pushed his glasses up and snorted. “That caterpillar probably had enough sense to move on when you showed up anyway!”

Hurt lanced through Ryuzaki’s heart, but he didn’t show it on his face.

“No one wants to be with a loser like you anyway!” Ryuzaki balled up his fists and Haga grinned wider.

“Even if I was beaten by Yugi and Jou you'll never beat me! You’re a grade A loser –wait, let me correct that –” He pushed up his glasses and grinned viciously. “A grade F loser! You can’t even do that right!”

He broke out into obnoxious laughter, motioning to Rikuo that he’d be along. The dark haired boy nodded and left the area. Haga stopped laughing and looked smugly at the lilac banged brunette, jutting his chin out.

“How the mighty have fallen! But then too…you were never mighty!” He laughed again, behind his hand. Even after all that had been done to him, it still felt good to put Ryuzaki down. However, he noticed the boy hadn’t shot back a single insult and grew worried.

Ryuzaki stared at the ground, his emotions battling over anger, heartbreak, and disappointment. Disappointment won out.

“Is that how you think of me?” he whispered, clenching and unclenching his fists. He tried to bite back a whimper as his eyes burned.

NO! Shit not now! Not in front of him!

“Dino breath? What’s wrong –”

Ryuzaki turned away, a tear escaping. “Go. Away.” He ground out.

“Ryuzaki?!”

“GO AWAY YOU ASSHOLE!” he yelled, starting to cry. He spun around and looked at Haga. “Is that what you really think of me?! Huh? Because if that’s what you think then maybe it’s true! I think of you as beautiful and intelligent and desirable and look, you’ve got Rikuo so it must be true!”

Haga was stunned and just stood there. “Look Ryuzaki -”

“Just shut up! That’s what you think of me then it must be true!” He stormed past him, cursing.

Why did I even fucking bother!? This shit fucking sucks! I can’t believe this shit! That’s what he thinks of me…

He started crying harder and ran off school grounds.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Not in the day time.

****

Haga let Rikuo kiss him, making sure the boy kept his hands above the waist. He wasn’t feeling anything, he just kept thinking of what Ryuzaki had said.

“ I think of you as beautiful and intelligent and desirable”

His watched beeped and he gently pushed Rikuo off him. “I have to go…” he said, catching his breath. “I have to get ready for work.”

“O-okay.” Rikuo got up off the couch and smoothed his uniform shirt, looking nervous. “Can I see you again tonight? Later?”

“Not tonight, no. I have some serious homework that I know I can’t get done at work…sorry to be morbid, but they found some bodies –”

“I understand.” He gave Haga a last sloppy kiss and left, sighing “I love you”.

He found his arm against his lips, wiping. His tongue had wagged on its own, lying.

“ I think of you as beautiful and intelligent and desirable”

“Baby?” came the inquiry from the bedroom. “Who was that?”

“Espa, I thought you left this morning?” he said, back stilled turned to the bedroom.

“No.”

He felt arms around his waist, a cheek on his back. “i love you…”

“Espa go home. You’re brothers are probably freaking out…”

“I love you Haga. Please?”

Haga placed his hands over Espa’s, staring at the coffee table. “I love you.”

“Going to work?”

“yes…”

“I’m a little short…”

Haga got out of the boy’s hold and turned to face Espa. “Get out.”

“But –”

“Espa Roba. Get out of my apartment. And for god’s sake get some self control and some self respect.” He stared at the boy, looking into his eyes and Espa teared up.

“Haga don’t do this –”

“You never seemed to care how I felt before, now you know how I felt. Please leave. I’m going to change. If you aren’t gone, I will call the police.”

He left the boy then, shutting his bedroom door quietly.

“ I think of you as beautiful and intelligent and desirable”

Haga stared at the work clothes he had laid out and began to unbutton his shirt.

He was flying out of the jar.

I’m going to catch him…

****
*Two more chapters left. It intersects with Summer Time Magic!
*Summer Time Magic readers…*smiles* it’s been fun! Ending coming soon….
*I would like to thank Muzaki_Goddess for inspiring this fic.