Fixation

Chapter 7


Jou felt like he was going to be sick. The world was spinning and alcohol-scented bile kept shouting into his mouth, trying to expel everything in his stomach. He sat down on the back steps of Yugi’s house and waited until the cement under his feet felt like it was solid before trying to stand up again.

Jou had never felt so stupid in his entire life. Yugi had let Otogi come over, and that had led to thirty or forty people Jou only vaguely knew showing up. And of course, when he tried to politely tell the other boy that he didn’t drink, Otogi had taken it as a challenge instead of a statement of fact. Somewhere between the One wont hurt you! from Honda and Otogi goading him with the fact that even Yugi could handle three beers, Jou had lost track of how many drinks he’d had.

He’d snuck out to the back yard for some fresh air, and to be alone. He shut his eyes, dwelling on the fact that he really was just weak-willed worthless bum, just like his old man. He hadn’t said the words out loud, but the alcohol made it impossible for him to keep the cheerful smile on his face. He couldn’t deal with another person he didn’t know asking him what was wrong. He climbed unsteadily to his feet, determined to just go home.

As he staggered, slender fingers wrapped around his wrist and hips, pulling him steadily to his feet.

“You weren’t kidding when you said you’d never had a drink,” Otogi laughed.

Jou glanced down at his hips, confused about what Otogi’s hands were doing holding on to them. “’Togi?”

“I never would have guessed you were such a light weight. Come on, let’s get you upstairs. You can sleep it off in Yugi’s room.”

Jou tried to remember why he had to get home, tried to think of a polite way to shove Otogi’s hand’s off of him, but by the time his brain caught up, Otogi was behind him, pushing him up the stairs. Otogi reached around Jou and opened the door to Yugi’s spare room. Jou felt insistent hands gently shoving him forward, then heard the door close behind them.

“Come on, you’re not going to be able to make it home like that… Let’s get your shoes off.”

Otogi spun Jou around and gently pushed him down on to the bed, pushing Jou’s green jacket off of his shoulders.

“’Togi, why’d you close the door?”

Otogi leered at him, twisting one of the dice beads in his hair. “Are you uncomfortable with me? I know we didn’t get off to the best start, but,” Jou felt Otogi’s hand cupping his cheek and saw Otogi’s face drawing closer, “I think we could be very good friends if we got to know each other better. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to get to know you.”

The hand on his cheek moved down his neck and over his chest, pinching his nipples through the fabric of his t-shirt. Jou tried to stand up but found himself pushed down on to his back. Fingers wrapped around his wrists in a way that reminded him of his fights with Kaiba. This wasn’t Kaiba, though. The thought made his stomach clench awkwardly.

“Otogi, I ain’t interested in you like this. Come on, man, move so I can get up.”

“You shouldn’t say no to something you’ve never tried…” Slender fingers began to fumble with the button on his pants.

The up side to this was that Jou found his hands free. He grabbed Otogi’s wrists and shoved the other boy away hard. He tried to sit up but he only managed to fall backwards again. “I said I ain’t interested. You’d have more luck getting into Honda’s pants than mine and he’s straight as a steel ruler.”

“You think that ass is straight? You are as blind as he says... Do you have any idea how many girls he’s gone after to try to coax you into a threesome? He swore you were straight too, but I thought that the worst that could happen if I tried was that I’d piss you off. Does this mean you are straight?” Otogi sat down on the bed beside him, smiling.

“Honda is straight… If he were gay, I’d have been all over him years ago. I think you’ve had too much to drink, Otogi.”

“Pot and kettle, Jou… We could be hot together, you and me. Tell you what, let me have one kiss. Just one real kiss. Then, if you’re still not interested, I’ll leave you alone.”

Jou tried to shake his head but found his lips crushed under Otogi’s. Otogi shoved Jou down on to the bed, falling on top of him and never breaking the kiss. The passion in that kiss was exciting at first, almost intoxicating, but there was a gentleness behind it that just didn’t feel right. It was controlled, calculated, and perfect. There was no sloppiness, no desperation, no need in Otogi’s kiss. When Kaiba kissed him, the other boy poured every drop of longing and need into his kiss, make Jou’s heart swell with the sheer knowledge that Kaiba not only wanted him, but wanted him so much that he could hardly contain it. Otogi’s kiss just felt manipulative and fake compared to the raw power of Kaiba’s.

Jou placed both hands on Otogi’s shoulders to push the other boy away again. Somehow, his hands were pulled off of Otogi’s shoulders, his hands twisted, his arms followed, and then his entire body moved. Jou found his face shoved into the quilt on the bed before he could react. “You are so hot. Trust me, Jounouchi, you wont regret this.”

“I still ain’t interested.”

“After that kiss? You’ve got to be kidding me?” He felt both of Otogio’s hands grip his ass. Jou braced his stomach, the rolled over quickly, whipping his feet around as he did so. He felt his right foot connect with Otogi’s cheek, and in the semi-darkness he saw the other boy go flying.

Semi-darkness wasn’t right. Hadn’t Otogi shut the door? Jou was fairly sure he had. Pushing himself up, he turned towards the door and saw a familiar silhouette outlined against the light pouring in from the hallway.

With his trade-mark trench coat, Seto Kaiba stood leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. “Well, well… Lover’s spat?”

“Go to hell, Kaiba,” Jou hissed, trying to get back on his feet.

“Seriously, Kaiba, you’ve got to learn to mind your own business,” said Otogi, on his feet once again and rubbing his cheek. “Although, if you’re interested, I suppose we could share—hey, stop!” Otogi screamed and fell to the floor.

Jou heard the snap before he realized what had happened. He was vaguely aware that there were other figures in the hallway behind Kaiba, but he couldn’t see who they were.

“What the fuck! You broke my fucking arm! You fucking psychopath!”

“Beats being a fucking rapist.” Kaiba knelt down beside Otogi. “Shall we call the police and go to jail together? I’m game if you are.”

“God damn it, call a doctor you heartless dick!”

“No, I don’t think so. I’m already busy. See, I came to get my watch back from Jounouchi. Moutou can call a doctor for you, if he thinks your sorry ass is worth helping. Yugi! One of your guests needs help!” Seto shouted over his shoulder.

“I didn’t fucking do anything!” Otogi hissed.

“Only because you’re a weakling. Taken down by a drunk Mutt… I think that was the most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen.”

Jou couldn’t help laughing. “That ain’t fair, Kaiba. He’s too dense to take a hint, but that don’t make him a rapist. You didn’t have to break his arm. I ain’t some girl who needs your protection. Plus, as far as pathetic goes, you’ve seen him try to duel.”

Jou was rewarded with the sight of a broad smile and the deep, mesmerizing sound of Kaiba’s laughter. “So, do you have my watch, Mutt?”

“Don’t. Backpack. Downstairs,” said Jou, pronouncing each word carefully.

“I am not going through your stuff, Mutt. I don’t want to end up with fleas.”

“I’m comin’, I’m comin’.” Jou got to his feet, walked passed Otogi and Seto and slowly headed downstairs. Halfway down the stairs he swayed and felt a firm hand on his lower back, steadying him.

“Just grab your bag and I’ll give you a ride home,” Seto whispered.

Jou managed a nod. He grabbed his backpack, tried to listen to something Yugi was saying, and felt the same firm hand on his lower back, steering him out of Yugi’s house through the game shop. Seto guided him down the street half a block and gently shoved him into a small black sports car. After Seto climbed in the driver’s seat, he glared at Jou. “Do not throw up in my car.”

“Not like it’s such a big deal… It’s just a car.”

“Ha! It’s just a Ferrari and you will not throw up on my leather seats!”

As Seto started the car, Jou dug through his backpack and found the metal watch Kaiba had tossed at him that day in the library. “Here ya go,” said Jou, holding out the watch.

“Keep it. It’s no big deal.”

Jopu stared at Kaiba, his brain slowly piecing things together. “It ain’t special or anything? The engraving… For showing me how to stop wasting time, it says.”

“I know what the engraving says.”

“It just… I sounds like something a friend would write, is all.”

“It was from a friend. Not the type of friend one gets together to hang out with, since she’s more than twice my age, but a friend. It means a lot to me, so if you ever lose it or pawn it for something stupid, I’ll kill you.”

“So, back there, you just did that to protect me?”

Seto huffed and placed both hands on the steering wheel, looking everywhere but at Jou.

“You did, didn’t you?”

“If you must know,” Seto turned to stare out the driver’s side window, “I followed you upstairs to take advantage of you while you were drunk. When I saw what was happening… Well, I thought it’d be funny to watch Otogi get his ass kicked.”

“No, you didn’t,” said Jou, surprised at the certainty in his own voice.

“How could watching you kick Otogi’s ass not be funny?” Seto asked, his face rigid and very serious.

“I meant about the other thing. You would have taken ‘Togi up on his offer if that were true.”

Seto shifted the car into first gear and pulled away from the curb, his eyes glued to the road. Jou recognized the downtown streets and tightly packed apartment buildings. Seto drove smoothly, going slow enough not to jostle Jou’s already upset stomach. Despite the beer, his head was clearing a bit. He stole a few sideways glances at Seto, thinking about how much things had changed between them. After they finished school, Jou would only see the Seto at tournaments, and then only if he made to the finals. Just like all of his friends, he and Seto would be going their separate ways, too.

They were at a stop light when Jou finally found the nerve to say something. “I don’t suppose,” Jou took a deep breath. “Well, you wouldn’t want to go somewhere, would you? I mean, with me? Tonight? I don’t really need to be home right away…” He reached over the stick shift and touched the inside of Seto’s thigh.

Seto’s expression didn’t change at all. When the light changed, Seto put the car back in first gear and stalled it when he took his foot off the clutch too soon. He started the car, swatted Jou’s hand away, and continued driving. Instead of heading to Jou’s apartment, he turned towards Kaiba Corp and parked on a side street, turning off the car and headlights before he looked at Jou.

“Yeah, one-time thing, no need to call me an idiot or make fun of my memory. Listen, my place is close to here, I’ll walk the—“ Jou didn’t get to finish.

His brain must have still been a bit fuzzy, because otherwise he was sure he would have been able to make sense of how he’d ended up pinned to the passenger’s seat with Kaiba straddling his hips, kissing him with all of the need and longing that Jou found himself craving. Not that he was about to complain. Jou pulled Kaiba close, grabbing his trench coat in both fists, wanting to touch every inch of him, wanting to feel the other’s weight crushing him. He kissed Kaiba’s lips, his face, his neck, and every other bit of skin he could access.

“Mutt,” Kaiba whispered, in between shuddering breaths, “We’re not doing this.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Jou, before pulling Kaiba’s ear into his mouth.

“Oh fuck…” Kaiba moaned. Both of his hands found their way to Jou’s shoulders and pushed him away. “No. I mean we are really not going to do this. You taste like whiskey. How much did you have to drink?”

“Just three beers. Damn it, money bags, I’m fine.”

“You don’t taste like beer. Did Otogi hand them to you, by any chance?”

Jou froze.

“Have you ever tasted beer before, Mutt?”

“Well, no, not really. I’ve never wanted to drink. I don’t want to end up… Well, I…”

“That dice freak was trying to get you drunk enough to fuck him, you idiot!”

“That wasn’t beer?”

“Did it all taste the same?”

Jou nodded.

“It wasn’t beer.”

“Oh.”

“I should have killed that twisted little—“

“Alright, I get it, you’re the protective type. So we’re…”

“Not doing this tonight,” said Seto, pressing his forehead against Jou’s until his breathing calmed down. “But listen, because I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. It would be a bit ridiculous to say that I don’t want you, and I know you want me. At this point, I don’t care if I have to kidnap you and chain you to my bed, this will happen… But not if you’re too drunk to remember it or drunk enough to say you didn’t know what you were doing. I don’t want that.”

Jou took a deep breath, filling himself with Seto’s scent, and sighed. “Would it matter if I said it wasn’t the alcohol?”

“No.” Seto’s voice was cold, but he was still on top of Jou, still resting his head on Jou’s forehead.

“What if I told you that I’ve been dreaming about having sex with you on that table in the library every night for the last two weeks?” Jou smirked when he felt Seto’s shoulders tense under his hands. Jou shifted so his mouth was over Seto’s ear. “If I told you that I haven’t been able to go into that bathroom without getting hard? That I haven’t said anything about the dog comments because I have this fantasy that it’s some kind of code for saying you want to do it doggy style?”

Seto’s breathing had sped up again, and Jou ran his hands down Seto’s back, thrilled with the way the other boy trembled at his touch. He brought his hands around and pulled Seto’s belt open, then his pants. “I said it isn’t going to happen tonight,” Seto insisted, catching Jou’s hands with his. He leaned back, smirking down at Jou. “But I wouldn’t mind breaking into the library tomorrow night.” Seto brushed him thumb over Jou’s lips, moaning when Jou sucked his thumb into his mouth and nibbled on it. “The library. The bathroom. Up against the door in our home room class. The gym showers. Up against your locker right in the middle of the hallway. I am very willing to spend my Sunday night on extra-curricular activities. How about I meet you there at ten?”

Jou let his head fall backwards and groaned. After two weeks of sexual frustration, he could handle waiting twenty-four hours. He didn’t like it, but he could handle it. “Ten,” he agreed, nodding. “But I really will walk from here. My head feels a bit better, and if I get out of a car like this in a neighborhood like mine…”

“Is it really that bad?” asked Seto. Jou knew from the way the brunette had headed towards his apartment without directions that Seto probably knew where he lived. He was either asking to cover up the fact that he’d gone out of his way to learn where Jou lived, or because he really was too ignorant to recognize the ghetto-qualities of Jou’s street.

“Not for me. But that’s because everybody down my street knows that I don’t have anything worth taking.”

“And if they see you getting out of my car… I suppose you’d probably get in trouble at home, if your dad knew…”

“Oh, he knows,” Jou said automatically. After a moment, it occurred to Jou that Kaiba wasn’t supposed to know a damn thing about his dad. He chalked that up to Kaiba being obsessed with research. “He’d be mad, but only cause he doesn’t like you. I’d be fine.”

“Really? He’s not upset that you’re into guys?”

“Nope, he’s just upset that I’m into you.”

Seto scooted back into the driver’s seat. He had a stunned expression on his face. “Well, I didn’t see that coming.”

“No, I’d probably be mugged before I get up my front steps,” Jou announced, a little too much glee in his voice. “It wouldn’t be so bad if you drove a normal car, or even had a normal license plate.”

“A lot of people put their name on their license plate,” Kaiba insisted.

“Yeah, that’s true, but for most people it’d be Kaiba 1, or even Kaiba 3.”

“What’s your point?”

“Kaiba 49?”

Jou was relieved when Seto chuckled. “Fine,” the CEO conceded. “If we’re saying goodnight here, do I get a goodnight kiss?”

Jou leapt at the chance. He leaned over the stick shift and cupped Seto’s face, kissing him gently but with as much tongue as he could shove down the other’s throat. He felt giddy when he pulled away. Seto Kaiba was smiling.

He opened the door but stopped half-way out of the car. “Hey, Kaiba… Nothing’s changed, right? I mean, you still hate me, right? Whatever happens tomorrow wont change that?”

Seto’s ice blue eyes met his. Jou didn’t see a hint of hatred in them. There was a quiet understanding, and a bit of amusement, but no hatred. “Yes, Mutt. You still hate me, I still hate you.”

“You’re still gonna act like an asshole and I’m still going to kick your ass for it?”

“You mean you’ll try to kick my ass for it. But,” Seto blushed so brightly that Jou could see the pink tint to his cheeks in the dim yellow streetlight, “You were right about the dog comments.”

At home, Jou found the rice he’d made when he woke up still in the fridge, untouched. That meant his dad was either still nauseated from the withdrawals or had decided to drink most of his calories for the day. Jou quietly slipped into his bedroom, checked to make sure the bars were in-tact, and wedged the chair under the door, and stripped down to his boxers to go to sleep. Not that he’d actually be able to get much sleep. Reluctantly, Jou let his hand slip down to his still hard cock. He shut his eyes and imagined him and Seto coincidentally getting to home room early and acting on Seto’s fantasy about screwing him against the classroom door.

Afterwards, as he tried to drift off to sleep, he wondered if he really was as messed up as his dad seemed to think. If Otogi was right, and Honda really was gay and wanted Jou, why had he never noticed any signs? Sure, he noticed that his best friend was hot, but he’d never actually fantasized about him. And when he kissed Otogi, all he had thought about was that he didn’t kiss as aggressively as Seto. It was fighting with Seto that turned him on. Their arguments, their physical fights, their wrestling matches. It was the other boy’s aggression and energy that made Jou quiver.

If he were with Otogi, if he could love Otogi, he’d never have to worry about how the other felt. He would never have to pretend that sex didn’t matter. If Honda were really interested in him, things would be perfect between them. Honda was his best friend. They dind’t have everything in the world in common, but they had enough in common that they’d probably be happy together for a long time. Try as he might, though, Jou couldn’t imagine himself actually having sex with either of them. He could appreciate that Otogi had nice eyes and that Honda had the perfect, athletic body, but he didn’t want either of them the way he wanted Seto Kaiba. Of all the guys he could like, he liked the one who hurt him.

He had never fantasized about anyone beside Seto, now that he thought about it. Of course, from talking to a lot of the professional whores in his street, he knew that there were people out there—men and women—who couldn’t get off unless they were hurt bad enough to let everything go. But he’d never fantasized about Seto hurting him. Holding him down and forcing himself on him, yes, but not hurting him.

Jou rolled over, trying to shut his brain off. He could always blame his attraction on Nakamura. If the doctor hadn’t insisted that Kaiba liked him, Jou might never have thought about the other boy as anything but an enemy. It was Nakamura who inspired him to whisper into Seto’s ear that day in the arcade. Maybe that had been the man’s goal all along. He was Seto Kaiba’s personal physician, after all. He prided himself on making sure that Seto was in optimum physical and mental health. It wouldn’t be that much of a stretch for Nakamura to take it upon himself to improve Seto’s emotional health by trying to get them to hook up. Of course, Nakamura had done everything he could to keep Jou and Seto apart—to keep them from killing each other, he’d said once. But Jou could see the other man telling him to stay away from Seto just for an excuse to plant the idea of being with him in Jou’s head. Despite the strange obsession with formality that Nakamura displayed regarding Seto, and his wife’s obvious displeasure with their mutual boss, Nakamura seemed to genuinely care about Seto’s wellbeing.

No mattered what he did with Seto tomorrow, and no matter how much he ended up getting hurt when Seto was finished with him, Jou felt a little better about the fact that he could whine to someone who actually knew what kind of person Seto was. Nakamura may have been just as manipulative as Seto, but Jou was sure that the man thought of Jou as a friend.

Despite taking care of his hard on, Jou didn’t sleep well. He was so anxious about what had happened with Seto that he hadn’t been able to stop tossing and turning. He got out of bed early, took as long a shower as the hot water heater allowed, and set some rice to soak again. Since it was Sunday, he would have to walk to the Nakamuras house. That meant that there was no bus to hurry for, so he could take him time and relax this morning. By nine o’clock, he’d eaten, found clean clothes, and tried to pick up the living room a bit. By ten o’clock, he knew he’d have to get going if he wanted to get a decent amount of work done today, but he had to check on his dad first and let him know that he’d leave food for him in the fridge.

Jou knocked on his dad’s door. When there was no answer, he turned the knob and pushed the door open a crack. “Dad?” He called softly. He pushed the door open a bit more. “Dad?”