Torn Apart

Ok I know it's been like forever since I updated, but hopefully with my writing brain back on I might be able to finish this one. I don't like leaving things unfinished.

So anyway hope you like and enjoy

Both just stood holding each other in the chilly night air. Joey could barely feel the cold wrapped in the warmth coming from Kaiba’s body. A sudden flurry of voices brought back the fact that they were standing outside in a very public display of affection. Joey tired to pull away. Kaiba had never been keen on being seen together in public. However the brunet’s hold only tightened.

“Uh…Kaiba…we’re kind of in the middle of the street here.” He said tugging on Kaiba’s coat.

“I don’t care.” Kaiba replied, burying his face in the blonde’s hair. “Just a little longer.” Joey was having a hard time believing this was Kaiba. He half expected that when he opened his eyes he’d wake up in bed alone, like usual. However when he did open his eyes he was greeted with the bustle of the busy street and a few curious looks shot his and Seto’s way.

“Um…Seto…?” Joey started and Kaiba pulled away.

“Come with me.” Without giving Joey anytime to respond, Kaiba grabbed the other’s hand, dragging Jou along after him. Jou couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his hand in Kaiba’s. Finally he felt right again. This was how it should be. But where was he taking him? Hopefully somewhere more private, somewhere they could be alone. A light blush spread across his nose. What was he thinking about?! This was the first time they had seen each other for 3 years, it didn’t mean they were about to head straight to the bedroom. They had a lot of the things to talk about after all and going to a hotel or something probably wasn’t the best idea. Besides Joey wasn’t sure he’d forgiven him, it was all too easy to get caught up in the moment. He had to focus…focus Joey, focus, do not think about how great Kaiba’s hand felt and how good they feel when placed else where…argh damn it Joey focus. Lost in his own musings Joey didn’t notice that Kaiba had stopped and walked right into his back.

“Hey…wha?” Jou peered round the brunet to see where Kaiba had brought him. “The Ferris wheel?!” He questioned, staring at the gigantic wheel in front of them

“I thought it suited our purposes perfectly. It was close, we get to be alone, no outside distractions and…” Kaiba leaned in close, placing a hand under Joey’s chin. “You won’t be able to run away.”

“Why would I run away!?” Joey said all defensively, backing out of Kaiba’s grasp. “You could have least said it’ll be…you know…romantic or something.”

“I thought that was implied in the ‘we’ll be alone’.” He added smoothly before heading off for the wheel leaving Jou to follow along in his wake. Kaiba let Joey to get in first. Joey sat next to the window, staring pointedly outside, very aware that Kaiba had sat right beside him. The silence was rather thick around them, even when the Ferris wheel slowly started to turn. Joey didn’t dare look toward Kaiba, he would break, he knew he would, just like he had done earlier.

“Joey.” He heard Kaiba say softly before he felt the other’s touch try to turn him around. All resistance left when Kaiba pressed his lips against Joey’s. Completely ignoring his previous thoughts, Jou gave in entirely, letting Kaiba deepen the kiss as his arm wrapped round the brunet pulling him closer, craving more. God how he missed this. Shivers ran through his body as Kaiba’s hands ran down his sides. How had he survived for so long without this? The gravity of what he just thought started to sink in and he pushed the CEO away.

“Wait…wait a minute…”

“Sorry, couldn’t stop myself.”

“That’s ok, no…wait…I mean…it’s…” Jou took a moment to calm himself. He didn’t want things to move too fast…no matter how good it felt. “Why did you leave me?” he asked, puppy dog eyes on level 10. Kaiba sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair.

“I assume by now Haru has spoken to you?”

“Yeah but that doesn’t change the fact that YOU told me nothing! 3 years Seto and nothing! Do you have any idea how I felt? What you did to me?!” Kaiba moved away from Joey.

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, eyes downcast. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

“You’re right, you don’t.” Joey bristled instantly but his expression softening as he continued. “However over the past couple of years while I’ve been hating you, missing you, wanting to kill you…I realised that, it doesn’t work if it’s not you…that I…I can’t live without you so…so just tell me…” Joey tentatively reached out and held Kaiba’s hand in his. “…and it better be good.” Kaiba squeezed back in return, a tiny smile pulling at his lips.

“Joey.”

“Haru said that it was an arranged marriage but if that’s so why didn’t you tell me? I mean…do you think I wouldn’t have understood?”

“No, that’s not it! I wanted to tell you and I was going to, but…” Kaiba ran his fingers through his hair. “I didn’t want to do it over the phone. Something like this, I wanted to explain it in person, particularly after how we…I left things between us.” Joey was surprised Kaiba admitted it was him. Kaiba never liked to admit he was the one in the wrong, Jou guessed it was him trying to show he was sorry. “But I was busier than expected and before I knew it 2 weeks had past and it became even more difficult to get in contact with you…knowing how upset and angry you were likely to be. So the longer I left it, the harder it came to do, until it had been so long that I was sure you would have gotten fed up with me and moved on.” This was the first time Joey had seen Kaiba like this, he seemed so dejected. All that confidence and assurance he usually resonated was gone. Later he would realise it has “Kaiba being venerable”, but has it had never happened before he could be forgiven for not recognising it for what it was right away. Which was a good thing from Kaiba’s point of view, cos there was no way that he wanted Joey to know the amount of power he had over him. “I couldn’t bear to see you with some one else so I convinced myself that it was for the best, that you would be happier with some one else. I never really got what you saw in me anyway.”

“I’m not gonna lie Kaiba. When you didn’t come back, I did briefly try dating other people but it never worked out. They weren’t you.” His gaze shifted back to Kaiba. God he looked good! That perfect strong body that the years had done nothing to diminish. What he wouldn’t give right now to touch…to feel it next him again. He swallowed thickly, trying to keep his mind on their conversation rather than how much hotter it was beginning to feel in here. “I can’t make it work with anybody else. It’s you that makes me happy. You shouldn’t decide these things on your own.”

“I can’t help it. When I look back, which I’ve been doing quite a bit lately, I don’t see a lot of reasons why you would stay with me. Sure the sex was great but that’s not everything is it?” God why did he have to mentions sex! “I am what you’ve always accused me of being…” Kaiba took as deep breath as if this was costing him everything to admit. “…a complete asshole.” Joey would have been all ready to nod enthusiastically at Kaiba more than accurate self assessment if not for the inappropriate amount of heat emanating for his body. He was trying to listen to Seto, this was supposed to be an important discussion about the current state of their relationship, he needed to pay attention damn it. But his body wasn’t co-operating, it was too busy craving Kaiba’s touch again to be bothered with what he was saying.

“Seto?” Before he knew what he was doing, his body was moving. As if making up his mind for him, Joey’s leg swung over Kaiba and the blonde settled himself on the other’s lap. “You’re right. You are a complete asshole, but you’re MY complete asshole.” Joey couldn’t take it any more. Following his body’s lead, Jou closed the distance between them, virtually smashing their lips together. Kaiba responded immediately, sucking Joey’s tongue into his mouth while his hands pulled him closer. Joey moaned low in his throat, his craving finally being sated. His fingers buried themselves in the brunet’s hair, holding on tightly as they kissed each other passionately. Joey grinded his hips forward, pleased that the hardness in the other’s pants was just as bad as his own. Unfortunately it was this move that made Kaiba pull back.

“…wait Joey…”

“I don’t want to talk anymore.” He replied quickly not even trying to keep the sound of frustration out of his voice. “No more talk alright…I just want you...”

“But, what about…?”

“Look, I forgive you, ok? It’s fine. So could you please stop stalling and get back to what you were doing!”

“Look…hang on a minute…”

“For fuck sake Kaiba! It’s been three years since I last had sex! I’m turned on and I‘m horny and judging by the thing pressed against me and your hands on my ass, I’m pretty sure you are too. So just shut up and get on with it!” Joey removed his fingers from Kaiba’s hair and started to attack his coat, however before he could even undo a button, Seto grabbed his hands.

“Joey…the rides almost over.”

‘But I haven’t even started yet.’ Joey thought before his eyes drifted over to the window and realised what Kaiba actually meant. However slowly the ground was getting nearer, there was no way they could do what he wanted before they reached the end. And he guessed Kaiba didn’t want to be caught in this sort of position right after his return to Japan. Joey let out a heavy sigh and lent his forehead against Kaiba’s own. Joey soon felt two strong hands caress his face.

“Believe me I want this just as much as you do but I’d rather take you home, where I can take care of you thoroughly, all night.” The desire in Kaiba’s eyes sent shivers through Joey’s body. The only thought sustaining him has he reluctantly removed himself from the brunet’s lap, was imagining all the things they could get up to once they were somewhere more private.

===@===

Joey and Kaiba weren’t the only ones out that night trying to work out their personal problems, Tristan was also out. He had come to his favourite spot in the park, desperately trying to understand what the hell was going on with him. He had come straight from Duke’s place, just like he had all the other times this week when he had stayed over. Even on that first night when he had promised Duke that he wouldn’t leave, he just couldn’t lie there after what he had done. He had needed to think, needed some fresh air and as long as he returned before morning he didn’t see the harm. As long has he’d kept coming back Duke need never know that he had left.

Tristan let of a sigh. Duke. The whole reason he was in the state he was in was because of that guy. Honestly what right did he have to say that he was in love with him!? He could have rationalised it the last couple of times but not tonight. Tonight he had done the unthinkable. Tonight he had actually gone to bed with a man and had done it sober! All the other times he could say that he had been drunk, indeed he had even had alcohol on purpose, he always drank whenever he went over to Duke’s place, cos he didn’t know what to do if he didn’t. Which was why he was standing here now, not knowing what the hell to do. He didn’t know what had happened, one minute he had arrived at Duke’s, the next his tongue was down the other’s throat.

He was straight damn it! So why was he getting all worked up over some guy…his friend…some one he had known for years and had never once thought of him that way. So what had made Duke change? He had been straight before too after all. He always had a pretty girl hanging from his arms. What made him go from that to him? Not that he thought badly of himself or anything, he just didn’t get it. He would definitely pick a pretty young girl over a burly guy. Of course Duke was definitely not a burly guy, he was more slender than most of the girls he had gone out with. He certainly had a habit of swinging his hips like women do. But treating Duke like a woman was wrong. He wasn’t a girl. Every time they had sex drove home that fact but it never made him stop, after all, even though it pained him to admit it, the times with Duke had been the best sex of his life. But was that really a good enough reason to change everything he believed himself to be?

Tristan sighed. He didn’t think he would ever be able to find an answer to his question. He’d briefly thought about seeking advice from his friends but couldn’t bare the idea of confessing of what he had done. No this was his problem. He’d sort it out on his own, no matter how long it took. Looking up he noticed a figure heading towards him. A lump formed in his throat when he realised who it was.

“So this is where you disappear to.” Duke stated when he reached Tristan.

“I didn’t think you’d noticed I had gone.” So Duke knew that he let every night. Well that through his previous thoughts out the window.

“Yeah…well…I’m a light sleeper.”

“Sorry.” Tristan said, the guilt of leaving coming back with full force.

“It’s ok…I mean you’ve always come back so…”

“So why come now?”

“I…every time you go I’m afraid that you won’t. I guess I just couldn’t wait this time.” Duke said twirling a strand of hair between is fingers, a habit he had when he got nervous. Tristan couldn’t blame him, he’d probably feel the same way if their roles were reversed.

“Sorry, I just needed to think about things.”

“You’re still not ok about this are you?” Duke said sighing, letting his hair drop from his fingers. “This isn’t what you want is it?”

“No, it is.” Even with his gaze averted, Tristan could feel the hope filled expression that Duke was no doubt now wearing. “But is isn’t. See this is the problem! I don’t know what it is I want more.” Tristan sat on a nearby bench, head in his hands. He had tried putting off this conversation, at least until he knew exactly what he was gonna say, but he guessed it was now or never. “Don’t you think that you’re asking a lot from me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what you’re asking me to give up.” Tristan ran his hands through his hair and looked up at Duke. “I’m a straight guy Duke. I always thought I’d grow up, get a good job, find a nice girl, get married and have kids. You know the whole shebang. I had my path set out in front of me and now you’ve come along and stuck a bloody fork in it. I’m at a cross roads and I don’t know which way to go.” Tristan stared imploringly into the others eyes, wishing Duke to understand how difficult this was, not because he was trying to find a way to let the raven head down but because he generally couldn’t decide which he wanted more, the normal family life or the man standing in front of him. “I just don’t know anymore.” He said dropping his head back into his hands again. After a while he felt Duke’s hand slide into his hair.

“I love you Tristan, so it pains me to see you hurting like this, especially knowing that I’m the cause of it.” Tristan heard Duke sigh heavily but was enjoying the others touch too much to move. “I wish I could stop, I really do. I’ve wished it a thousand times. I never wanting to lose the friendship that we had. But it’s gone now. Gone and never coming back. And it’s my fault. Cos if we part now…I…I just don’t think I’ll be able to be around you anymore. I’m not a strong enough person for that. I can’t go back to the way it was…not after being with you like this.” Duke let his fingers fall from Tristan’s head. He missed the touch already. Duke was right they couldn’t go back to what they once were, those days were gone. Would he really be able to let him go? Tristan stared at Duke’s hand as it fell limply at his side. He watched as the fingers twitched slightly then slowly curl themselves into a fist. “Perhaps it would be better if I left.” Duke’s voiced sounded like this was costing him everything to say. “I would be easier for me…I’m…you know…I’m not as close with the other’s as you. I can just go.” Tristan finally looked back up at Duke, unable to believe what he was hearing. There was no way he was gonna let him just walk away now. Not after everything that he had done. All he had made him feel. Duke caught his gaze and turned away. “I don’t want to force you into something you’ll regret later. You’re right. I can’t ask you to give up everything you’ve wanted…everything you are. It’s not fair of me.”

Tristan was on his feet, the tremor in the other’s voice making him act before he could think otherwise. “We should stop before things go any further.” Tris couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Duke sounded serious.

So that would be it. He could let Duke walk out of his life and things would go back to normal. He’d be free of all this guilt...all this confusion. Duke was offering him an easy way out…a way back to his normal life. Man to think that he would actually do that…’for me’…

“So I…I guess I’ll be going...”

“No!” In a move that surprised even himself, Tristan quickly folded his arms around Duke, holding him in place. “You’re not going anywhere.” It seemed his heart and body had made the decision his head could not. Maybe this wasn’t what he had planned for his life but he wanted to see where this way would take him.

“Tris let go of me. This isn’t what you want.”

“Don’t tell me what I do and do not want.”

“But you’ll regret it!” Duke shouted breaking free of Tristan’s hold. “You can never have a normal life with me, the lovely wife and children…none of it!”

“I’m allowed to change my mind.”

“Yeah but this much!?”

“It’s not so different. Sure I don’t get the wife and kids but I’ll still get to be with the person I love and that’s what really matters isn’t it?” Duke was regarding him as if he had gone crazy but Tristan caught a vague hint in his eye of hope. Daring to believe that these words were true.

“And you really mean it?” he asked. Tristan took a step closer, resting his forehead against the others.

“I mean it.” Tris said taking Duke’s hands in each of his own. “Believe me.” Closing the distance between them completely, Tristan caught Duke’s lips with his, kissing him softly. Duke kissed him back. Tristan’s heart felt lighter than it had done in days. It felt so good to finally have things sorted out.

They broke apart, standing some what awkwardly in the cold night air.

“So what now?” said Tristan.

“Well…we can head back and…um…” A slight blush spread across Duke’s cheeks and he refused to meet Tristan’s eyes.

“Yeah…Yeah that sounds good.” Tristan tentatively reached out to take Duke’s hand in his again, comforted when the others squeezed his back. Slowly they began to walk the path that Duke had taken to follow him.

“Well I guess this means that Joey doesn’t have to worry anymore.” said Duke, trying to dispel the silence that had fallen between them.

“What do you mean?”

“You know…about him and Kaiba, cos now you’ve got no room to talk.” Tristan stopped dead at his words.

“What?” he said sharply making Duke stare at him in concern. “What about Joey and Kaiba?” He watched as Duke’s eyes widen slightly in panic then relax again as he force his face to remain passive.

“Uh…nothing. I didn’t say anything.” Duke made to continue walking but Tristan quickly grabbed his arm pulling him back.

“Joey and Kaiba!” That couldn’t be it…that couldn’t be the reason…Joey wouldn’t of. He wouldn’t…not with someone like Kaiba…not after everything that had happened. He couldn’t quiet keep the anger from entering his voice. He knew he shouldn’t be taking it out on the person he had just made up with but he couldn’t stop himself. This was just one revelation too many. The fear and panic had returned to Duke’s eyes so he knew that the impossible thing he was thinking was true. “Joey and Kaiba!”

tbc

PLZ R & R