Hell's Cradle - The First Trimester

I must really care about you guys. *glomps all*


*Enjoy*


A certain red-eyed male sits annoyed at his desk as he turns slightly to gaze at the couple arguing just a row behind him.

One had long sleek black hair while the other one had a hairstyle that had him thinking about pyramids back in Egypt.

“You talk to him!” the one with the raven black hair demands.

“Hell no, you the one that want to ask him about the coat he’s wearing!”

Odji growls as he slides down a bit in his seat.

Those idiots can’t possibly think that he’s not hearing them.

Hell, EVERYONE, that’s coming into the classroom, can hear them and know who they’re talking about!

“Well even though he looks stupid wearing it this time of year, that’s a kick ass coat! I like how is has those gold straps with the huge gold Ankh on the back of it. AND it’s real black leather, so talk to him!”

“OTOGI FOR THE LAST TIME, I’M NOT SPEAKING TO THAT CREEPY LOOKING NEW GUY!”

Laughter erupts in every direction as the ghost minion bit his lip for control.

Trust the fact that this Seto happens to have all his classes with these obnoxious fools.

It seems the Shadow Realm is actually more inviting now…

“Guys, I think you might be hurting his feelings…” Yugi whispers as he glances over at the hunched over figure.

The dice master looks at the smaller teen dumbfounded before he turns towards the newbie once again.
He then looks at Honda who looks back at him.

“Shit he can hear us!?”

Odji lets out a loud groan as he lets his head falls with a thud on the desk.

Yep, the Shadow Realm is actually heaven by comparison...

“Ohayoo, Minnasan!” exclaims a familiar blond at the doorway, looking unusually chirpy.

“Jou?” Yugi asks with slight confusion as he stands up to meet his friend coming towards him. “No one ever expects you to come to class until about five minutes into Tai-sensei’s lecture.”

With a smile still plastered on his face, the hazel-eyed teen chuckles in merriment. “Well, Yug, let’s just say I have a new reason to wake up in da mornin’!”

“Hmph, well I guess morning quickies don’t work well for everybody…” Otogi looks curiously at the somewhat drained and irritable brunet, whose hand the blond is so tightly clutching.

“Nope, ‘Togi, see ya wrong! We actually haven’t had sex in days!” Jou grins even more broadly as he tightens his grip he has on his lover.

“And that’s something to smile about!?” Honda blurts out.

Seto’s frown deepens as he tries to pull away from the idiot that’s his boyfriend but finds the hold had only tighten even more.

“Hmph, He might as well be happy because it looks like it’s going to be months even years before it ever happens again.” The raven-haired teen flicks at his earring as he continues to marvel at the CEO’s comical sour expressions. He especially likes that one expression which has the cute nose to wrinkle up in such a way as if something within the area just reeks.

“Ah, he’s just havin’ one of his little fits and it’s so ka-yute!” Jou nuzzles affectionately against a pale cheek which caused growls of protest from the other.

As the morning rays shine through the classroom windows, they would hit the couple’s hands which in turn cause something to glisten in response.

This catches the attention of a certain smaller teen…

Yugi sits down slowly before asking. “Um…Jou?”

“Hai, Yug, mah supah special awesome friend!”*

“Are those…rings?” The little Mouto points at the objects sparkling on each hand of the teen lovers.

“Hai!” The blond raises up his and the brunet’s clasped hands to show off the gold metal bands with a white gem in the middle of them. “It’s like we’re married!”

“Dammit, was this really necessary!? Did you really have to get us these damned things from that bubble gum machine?! Gah! This is so embarrassing!! ” A blushing Seto shrieks as he tries to pry his fist away from the still smiling boy. “And my finger is already turning green, you steaming pile of dog shit!”

“Didja change ya mind about us being a family?”

“NO!”

“Den it’s necessary.” Jou then plants a kiss on the pale hand, angering the brunet further, who tries more desperately to pull away. “And besides, do ya know how lucky it was for me ta actually get TWO of da same kind from dat machine. I’m tellin’ ya, its destiny!”

“GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!” Seto growls out loudly.

Odji chokes back a laugh trying not to bring attention to himself.

Hmmm, so you have a proud father and a not so proud mother…

This will certainly be an interesting tale to report back to Marik.

“Dude, are you trying to force Kaiba into marrying you?!” Honda manages out with unhinged jaws.

“You see Honda? And you thought I was going too fast when I suggest that we should start shaggin’” Otogi retorts annoyed as he looks exasperatedly towards his lover.

Seto groans audibly at the mentioning of ‘shagging’ as if he had a stomachache.

“Huh? Are ya ok, Angel? Do I need ta go phone ya docta?” I’m no expert but isn’t it a bit too early ta have dat kind of pain?” Jou rushes brushes aside his uke’s hair in worry.

“I have more than double your IQ level so would you PLEASE, stop treating me like a child!!!” The brunet sneers out through clench teeth as he grabs the offending hand with his free one.

“Well maybe if ya stop ACTIN’ like one, Mr. I’m-Gonna-Trash-Mah-Room-Till-I-Get-Mah-Way Kaiba...oh more accurately, Jounouchi Seto.”

“Don’t you dare start that bullshit with me, don’t you dare!” The brunet screeches as he tries his hardest to fight back tears but they started to spill down his cheeks nonetheless. “Here I am cursed and FORCED to carry your demon spawn from hell and you’re teasing me!? Argggh! Fuck you and these damn hormones!!”

…demon spawn….hormones…Jou making Kaiba cry…!!!

The class including the Yugi-tachi stares in awe at the spectacle and still not at all believing what they were seeing.

Well except for the mysterious student who had discreetly placed the hood of his coat over his head. His body soon begins to spasm as muffled noises of what sounded like snorts of laughter erupt from him.

“Yea so, what was that mental institution we had found again?” Otogi whispers to his brunet’s ear.

“The Domino Cherry Mental Institution over on Hoozuki Avenue…” Honda croaks in response.

Even Tai-sensei is a bit taken back.

She had already arrived for quite some time but was too curious to bring the class to attention.

“Ahem, O-ohayoo, class…” She continues to stare at the couple, with the blond cooing softly to her distraught star student.

“O-ohayoo gozaimasu, Tai-sensei” The class replies back in unison also still staring.

Gleeful red eyes peek out from under their hiding place, as a smile graces features.

An interesting tale indeed…

**

Mura-sensei sits quietly at his desk, sorting through some random yet important files. This meeting he has to conduct is going to be such a bitch…to put it mildly.

Sighing, the physician lies back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to ward off the impending migraine.

SLAM!

Only to have tried in vain…

“What is this I hear about you letting Kaiba-sama being discharged from the hospital? Do you even know the risks of doing such a reckless thing!?”

Tired dull eyes look to the irate director of the maternity ward.

“I didn’t think it would be necessary to keep him here any longer as of now. I had his prenatal vitamins sent to the mansion…”

“And how do you know for sure he’s going to even take them!? He obviously didn’t seem too thrilled about being told he’s pregnant! I mean what if he…”

“Get an abortion?” Mura-sensei hums softly as he resumes flipping and sorting through documents for his presentation. “Of course he would have his right to make such a decision but quite frankly, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

“Oh? Is there something I’ve failed to realize?”Haruko-sensei rests on one hip with her arms crossed as she looks sternly at her colleague.

“Yes, actually.” The crafty doctor gets up and stretches before walking over to a bookcase behind him to finger through some books he had there. “You’ve failed to realize that Kaiba-sama has a very excitable twelve year old uncle.”

“You’ve told Mokuba about this?” The female physician asks in disbelief as she walks behind the desk to join the elder at his spot in front of many textbooks. “Was that even wise?”

“Apparently so…” Mura-sensei turns to maternity ward head, grinning. “Let’s just say stubbornness is quite the gene within the Kaiba gene pool and it doesn’t help that he also have a very possessive father-to-be on his side to help.”

Haruko-sensei the time to shake her head as she struggles to comprehend the information that’s bombarding her. “Jounouchi Katsuya knows too?!” How would you…?”

The physician chuckles as he removes his glasses to wipe them. “Oh, I’ve received a phone call.”

He then breaks out into full laughter.

“I’ve received a phone call.”

**

“So how’s Ryou, Yugi? I remember you vaguely telling us that he’s fallen ill.” Otogi asks nonchalantly as he grabs an ice cream cup from Honda’s plate.

They were all sitting in their usually spot in the noisy, crowded lunchroom.

Jou, who’s been so busy in coddling his angel, almost didn’t hear what was just said. “Eh? Ryou’s sick?”

The brunet silently gives a whisper of thanks heavenward for the break he has just received.

“H-hai…He had supposed to have left for Britain about two days ago but then he suddenly complained about being cold and dizzy and asked if he could extend his stay here”, explains the little Motou with some trouble. “It’s just the weirdest thing; he shivers violently, his lips and hands would turn blue, and his skin would be a pasty white as If he’s actually freezing despite it being like a sauna in that Game Shop…he barely eats a thing now.”

“It sounds like he has the chills; do you think it’s the flu?” The dice master asks as he licks the spoon that only seconds ago had ice cream on it.

“Or it could be somethin’ else…” Jou smirks as he raises his eyebrows towards his very much annoyed lover.

“You know, you guys have been acting really strange all day…” Yugi comments slowly.

“Yea, what’s with that?” The green-eyed teen muffles over some more of the sweet milky substance. “Are you really, really trying to force marriage on moneybags here?”

Seto snorts as he already knew that the big mouth blond is going to spill the beans now. It only surprised him that it had lasted THIS long.

“And for da second time today, ‘Togi ya are wrong…” Jou beams as his chest swell in pride. “But don’t ya remember dat conversation we had on yesterday, ya know, the one that you thought was so funny and stupid?”

The dice master gives a straight face before replying, “But that’s every conversation…”

The giggles spread all over the table with Seto in the lead of being the loudest.

The hazel-eyed teen feels a vein popped from his forehead. “No, dumbass! The one about the pregnancy test!” Coughing suddenly could be heard from his left side.

“Oh, yea, you were telling Honda and me how you found it in Kaiba’s pocket.”

Blue eyes widen in realization as the brunet had surely forgotten all about that.

Well that would explain a few things in his blond bishie’s reaction to the news…

“Yea and remember when I had this funny, crazy idea how men could somehow get pregnant?”

Ok now THAT explains quite a lot! Trust the brainless fool to come up with the crazy idea himself and it just so happens to be true. Wonders never cease.

“Y-yea…” Otogi stammers not sure at all if he wanted to know where this particular conversation is going.

Jou gives his trademark grin before exclaiming out, “Well in ya face, bitch! Because in less dan nine months, ya gonna eat mah kids’, uh mah kids’place..per cent…uh…shit what was dat “p” word we learned in Kiku-sensei’s class?” He turns to his dispassionate brunet for an answer.

“Placenta…” Seto answers drily as he tirelessly continue to try and remind himself of the few reasons why he’s dating an idiot.

“Yea, what he said! Ya gonna eat it!”

Otogi furrows his brow a moment before he turns to his boyfriend.

“Um, Honda, correct me if I’m out there but did Jou just more or less say that Kaiba is pregnant?”

Honda laughs lightly before replying back. “I think he…did.”

Silence.

“HA HA AH HAHAHA HA AHHH HA HA HAAAA!”

“AND IT’S STILL THE FUNNIEST SHIT I’VE EVER HEARD! HA HA HA AH AHHHHHHH HA HA!!!”

As if history had repeated itself, the comedic duo finds themselves on the floor laughing once again…

The hazel eyed teen sits red-faced and fuming while an expressionless blue-eyed teen simply sighs as he replies bluntly, “Did you actually think they were going to take you seriously?”

Yugi on the other hand looks at couple and came to recognize that if it wasn’t true, Kaiba would’ve chewed his friend out by now which means…

“Oh…Kami…Y-You’re not kidding are you?”

Jou turns slowly at the huge chibi eyes. “No, Yug…I’m not. Seto is pregnant.”

The laughs turn into choked coughs in which the blond sits back satisfied to listen to.

“HE'S PREGNANT!? FOR REAL?!” The shocked pair exclaims rather loudly.

The brunet looks around to see that the phrase had caught the attention of some people within earshot of the cafeteria as he buried his face in his hands.

Of all places…

The smaller teen sits stunned as he really didn’t know how to respond or react or even fully BELIEVE it himself of what he had just heard.

“So guys, dat placenta…rare, medium rare, or well-done, hmmm?”

Otogi and Honda babbles incoherently as they shakily get into their seats.

“Um, Kaiba-kun? Is this REALLY true? Are you, you…?” Violet eyes searched to downcast ones for closure.

The impregnated billionaire chooses not the answer and looks to his banana and peanut butter sandwich instead.

He be damned if he himself was going to confirm such a nightmare.

However, the reluctant silence had been loud and clear.

“Oh…Shit…well…Yugi, my friend, maybe it isn’t the flu…” Otogi rests his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“That can’t be possible! I’ve never—“The tri-colored haired teen slaps his hand over his mouth as he just said more than he wanted to.

“Well ha ha, hell! And Honda and I were just arguing last night about who was the top guy in your relationship!” The green-eyed teen snickers. “Hard to tell when both guys would look so dashing in a boy scout uniform!”

Laughter erupts once again; even Seto couldn’t help but smile.

His respect towards the group has just grown another notch.

Jou grins fondly as it was the first positive expression he had seen on his love’s face in quite awhile. “Glad ta see dat smile again angel. “ He gives a quick peck on a pale cheek.

“If it’s cheering up he needs, then have him over at the Game Shop after school.” Otogi twists a lock of his hair around his fingers. “I can’t imagine him taking this baby shit lying down anyhow.”

The brunet guffaws at the comment as he takes a bite out of his sandwich. Strangely though, he still feels strangely uplifted in spirits.

“Sorry, guys. But Dad will be getting off of work a bit early today and I know firsthand how cranky he can get with no food on the table. So what shall we cook him for dinner tonight angel? “

Seto nearly chokes on his sandwich as he feels his spirits abruptly crash and burn.

Well that was soothing while it lasted…

He sure as hell had forgotten about the infamous Jounouchi Sr!

Oh dear kami…

“What do you mean ‘we’?” Yugi asks curiously as he witnesses Kaiba becoming ghostly white.

Talk about your Blue Eyes White Dragon…

“Well ya see, Set here needs a bit more reassuring in his pregnancy SO I thought it would be a cool idea if he lives with me for awhile. It’s going to be awesome! Isn’t that right angel?”

“Awesome” The brunet sobs out.

Just as long as there will be a gun waiting for him…one he would gladly use on himself.

To Be Continued...

* LittleKuriboh is the most talented dude alive I swear! XD!