To Find a Hidden Love

Title: To Find a Hidden Love: 7/11

Author: Daisey

Rating: R

Pairings: Atem/Katenen (Yami/Jou); mention of Yugi/Katenen (Yugi/Jou) and Atem/Seth (Yami/Seto)

Beta: Akuchan **hugs**

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or its characters, just a few keepsakes, cards, and daydreams that are precious to me... (Not to mention VHS tapes, DVD's, manga... ^__^)

Summary: A secret love affair is exposed upon the death of Atem's brother, leaving the god-king to deal with not only the burden of his own grief, but that of the lover's as well.

A/N: I have included some Egyptian/Arabic words in the text to add to the feel to the story; explanations/definitions will be listed at the end of the chapter.

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As Herihor continued to study the lust filled gaze of his king, a thousand questions ran through his mind. When did this happen? Was it more than just want? Did Katenen know? Did he feel the same way? His thoughts were rampant as he recalled, not only Seth's words to Katenen and Atem Nisu, but also the part of the High Priest's vision that had only been shared with him: the part that had shown Katenen wrapped in Atem's embrace.

Suddenly, Seth's pleasant baritone pulled him from his musings, and Herihor was surprised to find that the priest was already canting the closing prayer. Forcing his questions out of his mind, the guard concentrated on the final stanzas, adding his own words of thanks and praise to Ra almighty for the hope that suddenly soared in his heart for Egypt, his king, and his friend.

After a moment of respectful silence, the three dignified men stepped down from the dais and formed a receiving line outside of the ornate door that led to the dining area, signaling the end of the ceremony and the beginning of the feast. Slowly, the chattering throng of people moved from one room to the next, pausing to pay their respects to the king and his priest, and casting no small amount of curious glances at the blonde at Atem's side. Herihor's eyes once again filled with pride as he noted the way Katenen remained unaffected by the scrutiny, concentrating instead on fulfilling his duty to his king. However, his hazel eyes turned wary when, as the room finally cleared and the three hosts moved to enter the dining area, he saw a figure move out of the shadows and stop in front of Katenen.

Immediately, Herihor recognized the man as a visiting dignitary from the nomadic kingdom to the northwest of Egypt. The stranger's secretive actions set the guard on edge from the start and, when he saw the platinum haired man advance on his master with a hungry gleam in his eyes, he immediately moved from his post. Suddenly, one of the stranger's arms snaked possessively around Katenen's waist, causing the blushing, stammering blonde's eyes to fill with panic and sending Herihor into a full out run across the throne room. However, before he had even made it half way, Atem and Seth had returned in search of the missing blonde. Crimson and sapphire eyes widened in shock and then narrowed in anger as the two men strode to the scene. Within a matter of seconds, Katenen was out of the stranger's clutches, and into the equally possessive embrace of the obviously furious king.

Seeing the relief on his master's face at the appearance of the other two men, Herihor slowed to a walk, nearing the group in time to hear the stranger's sullen apology, his anger at being denied his prize evident in his violet eyes. Seth sternly reprimanded the man once again, and then permitted him to enter the dining hall to join the rest of the gathering, his serious blue eyes following the stranger until he had taken his seat. As soon as the man was out of sight, Seth started to question the blonde. "What did Minnakht say, Katenen? Did he offer an explanation for his actions?"

Katenen blushed again as he spoke, his embarrassment evident in his voice. "He said that he knew how important the unity of our two kingdoms was to Atem Nisu," he began, his eyes full of humiliation. "And he told me that I could assure it to hold by submitting to a union of… another sort. When I refused, he grabbed me and threatened to…" the blonde broke his statement off with a shudder, and the gazes of the three other men narrowed in furious comprehension.

With one meaningful glance from the king, Seth went into action, pulling the bell rope and summoning the guards to the throne room. As soon as the men arrived, he assigned two of them to the platinum haired dignitary, instructing them to keep him in sight at all times and to take up post outside of his chambers that night. Immediately the two appointed men moved out, and Seth turned to Herihor next. Before the High priest could utter a word, the guard was already assuring him.

"Don't worry," he promised somberly, locking gazes with the taller brunette, "I won't let him out of my sight." The gravity of Herihor's statement struck a nerve with the independent blonde, and Katenen wrenched himself from Atem's embrace to glare at the three protective males.

"I am capable of looking after myself," he said defensively, a stubborn light appearing in his eyes. "He is only one man after all, and a weak looking one at that."

"Minnakht may ~look~ weak," Seth stated, his deep voice stern once again. "But he is also a Tjehenu, and their race is ~known~ for their slyness and cunning, as he obviously showed this eve." The high priest's dry reminder was not lost on Katenen who, if anything, became even more irate.

"He may have caught me unawares once," the blonde snapped, "But he will not do so again." This time Herihor began to intervene, but Katenen stopped him with a look. "I am not an infant," he said to his friend before turning his glare on his king. "And I am ~no~ man's possession," he turned his anger on Seth next, completely missing the look of surprised hurt in Atem's eyes. "And if I am capable enough to help you save Egypt, then I can surely look after myself." With that, the prideful blonde turned away and exited the room, the feast completely forgotten.

The three other men stood as if stunned, staring helplessly at each other. After a long moment, they turned as if one, and headed back toward the dining hall. They had just about made it into the room when a panicked scream for Herihor reached their ears from the hall. Instantly recognizing the voice as Katenen's, the three took off across the room once again, the brunette guard in the lead. As soon as Herihor reached the door, he stopped and nearly fell faint. There, lying in the hall with her head cradled on Katenen's lap was Anhay, her vibrant brown eyes dulled with pain as her swollen, parched lips gasped for air.

"Merwet," the stocky guard finally managed, stumbling across the last bit of distance to fall on his knees next to his wife. "Anhay, Merwet, what is it?" The woman's eyes rolled in the direction of her husband's voice and she attempted to speak but, before she could breathe out a word, her face contorted in an expression of excruciating pain. Panicked hazel eyes rose to Katenen's face, seeking an explanation.

"It's the baby, Herihor," the blonde began, his face as pale as the guard's, "Anhay's time has come." Katenen's face remained troubled, despite the wave of relief that washed over that of his friend. "So early," he muttered to himself, placing a hand on Anhay's swollen abdomen and wincing at the tightness of the muscles there. "How could I have miscalculated so? And yet, Anhay had figured the same date as I had, and Ra knows that she has birthed more infants than I." His face paled further as he recalled the two times he had been forced to assist in delivery, both situations occurring only after the female villagers had deemed it beyond their abilities. "But, early or no, this baby is coming now."

Katenen raised his glance from his charge and locked gazes with his friend, noting the look of intense worry that had once again filled the guard's eyes. Forcing an encouraging smile to his face, the blonde said as lightly as he could, "It seems as if your lack of patience has been passed down to your child. Now go, and be quick; return to your chambers and retrieve the satchel that Anhay has prepared for this day. Well?" he demanded, seeing the look of hesitation on Herihor's face, "Why have you not yet left?"

Herihor's mouth worked silently for a moment, as he struggled to control his thoughts. "She cannot give birth ~here~," he said weakly, gesturing at the vast hall. "She needs to be confined! There's no mattress, no birthing seat… and what about…" Katenen opened his mouth to interrupt his friend, but Seth, whose presence- as well as that of Atem Nisu's- had been temporarily forgotten by the two concerned men, managed to speak up first.

"You must do as your master says," he said gently, placing a hand on Herihor's arm as Anhay cried out again. All eyes turned to where Katenen was now standing, the pregnant woman cradled in his arms. "And you must do so with haste. Your Hemet is a healer of great wisdom… a daughter of Sekhmet herself. Find the satchel that Katenen has mentioned; it will contain all that he needs. As for the needed confinement," the priest paused in his speech long enough to glance at Atem. The god-king offered the guard a reassuring smile and opened a door, the one that led to his private antechambers just outside of the throne room. The slender brunette smiled at his cousin before turning back to the guard. "That has been provided as well." Another pained cry set the man into motion but, before he had taken a dozen steps, Katenen called him back.

"Just the satchel, Herihor," he said tersely, heading into the room. "Don't take the time to grab the seat or anything else." The intense worry in those tawny eyes spoke the rest, and the guard was off in a flash.

By the time he got back with the package, Seth and Atem had returned to the feast, leaving Katenen alone with Anhay. Dropping the satchel by the blonde's side, Herihor waited for further instruction. He watched in amazement as Katenen dug through the parcel, his hand instinctively grabbing the Bes-amulet without turning his gaze from his charge. Smoothing back Anhay's bangs, he placed the item on her forehead and quickly murmured the invocation to Horus and Hathor, repeating it three more times before removing the amulet from the woman. Only when he had properly requested the gods' assistance did he turn his attention to the guard.

"Water, Herihor," he said shortly, digging through the satchel for yet another item. "At least two large kettles full, and as hot as you can get it." Katenen's hand found purchase on the item that he was seeking, and he turned away from the guard, knowing the man would heed his request. "It will be okay, Ima-Senet," he crooned, laying a cool hand on Anhay's forehead as he placed the crescent shaped wand on her abdomen. Keeping his hand on the carved piece of ivory he began to cant another prayer, only to break off his words when he felt Anhay bear down with the force of her next contraction. Instantly, his face paled as he realized that the woman was ~much~ further along in her labour than he had first suspected.

"Khara, Herihor, where are you?" he whispered frantically. Keeping his eyes trained on his charge, the blonde reached to the side and began to dig through the parcel again. "Khara," he cursed again, tossing the ivory wand to the side to free up his other hand and place it directly on Anhay's belly. "Why can't I find the other two..." before he could finish his statement, the sensation of another hand brushing against his in the satchel drew his attention. "Thank Ra, Herihor," he breathed. He turned to face his friend, only to gape in surprise when his gaze fell upon Atem.

Offering the blonde a lightly mocking smile, Atem gently took hold of Katenen's hand and withdrew it from the bag, pulling the satchel onto his lap. The smaller man then gestured toward the parcel, his eyebrows arched in question. "I need the statues of Bes and Tawaret," the blonde explained hurriedly. "The baby is coming ~now~." Within seconds, Atem had found the small statues and was placing them in Katenen's hand. When he noticed how badly said hand was trembling, he raised his eyes to the blonde's. Noticing the panic lying within, he reached out and gently touched Katenen's cheek, his own crimson eyes filled with worry. "I'm frightened, Atem," Katenen whispered in response to the unspoken question. The blonde shamefully dropped his gaze away, completely missing the delighted smile that curved the king's lips at the use of his name ~without~ the title. "I was not able to save Yugi… what if I fail to save ~her~?"

Atem's smile diminished somewhat at the mention of his brother, and he tried to convince himself that it was over the sadness he felt at the memory of Yugi's demise, and ~not~ over any feelings that Katenen might still be harbouring for his Sen. Sighing inwardly, the god-king forced his thoughts back to the matter at hand. Slowly sliding his hand down to Katenen's chin and holding back a shudder of delight at the feel of the silky skin caressing his palm, he gently forced the blonde to look at him. "There is no cure for an asp bite." He mouthed. "Women give birth all the time. You are strong. You are wise. You can do this."

Katenen couldn't help but blush, slightly overcome by the earnestness in Atem's gaze as he 'spoke', and by the tingling sensation of the other's touch on his face. "Thank you," he murmured after a long, intense moment of drowning in Atem's eyes. Tearing his gaze away, he took a statue in either hand and placed one on each side of Anhay, bringing her up to rest on her knees between the two miniature gods. Instantly the woman bore down again and loosed a guttural groan; it was all Katenen could do to hold her in position. Once again Atem came to his aid, supporting her other side. "Almighty Amun," the blonde began to pray as Anhay bore down once again, "Make the heart of the deliverer strong, and keep alive the one that is coming."

He was half way through his second repetition when Herihor finally appeared, completely drenched and short of breath, but triumphantly toting the water. "I've got it," he announced proudly, completely unaware of the gravity of the situation. "The kitchen's kettles were all in use for the feast, so I had to go to the stables, and…" his monologue stopped abruptly when his eyes caught sight of his wife and the position that she was in. "Khara, Katenen," he gasped, dropping the buckets and almost spilling the precious water in his hurry to get to her side. "I had no ~clue~ that she was this close."

"Nor did I, my friend," the blonde stated, positioning himself in front of Anhay as Herihor replaced him at the woman's side. "But as close as she is, you still made it here in time." For the next fifteen minutes Katenen worked at an almost feverish pace, barely able to perform the required ministrations and spells due to the rapidness of Anhay's labor. Finally, ~finally~, Anhay gave her last push and, moments later, the strong, hearty cry of a healthy newborn echoed throughout the room. "It's a boy," Katenen cried, his relief evident in his voice. "Do you have a name for your son?" Much to his surprise, it was not Herihor's tenor that answered, but the exhausted voice of his wife. "Katenat-Ra," she said weakly but clearly, stunning all three of the males. "For my master, my king, and my god."

His voice husky with tears, Katenen repeated the name and offered his praises to the gods. Blinking rapidly to keep his eyes clear, he cut the life-giving cord with the knife from Anhay's satchel and rapidly tied it off, immediately setting the child to his mother’s breast. Slowly, gently, Atem and Herihor eased her back into a supine position as the baby began to feed and Katenen took care of the remnants of the birth. Separating those things that could be thrown away from those that needed to be ceremoniously destroyed, he finished the job and slowly rose to his feet, glancing tenderly at the sight of the family of three. Suddenly the blonde realized that Atem was missing, and he looked questioningly at Herihor.

"I think he headed back to the feast," the proud new father explained, running a hand absently through his sleeping wife's hair. Herihor fell quiet as the blonde crouched down by his side. "He wants you, you know," he said gently, finally breaking the silence. He watched his friend's face closely, wondering what his reaction would be, and he was surprised to see a bitter smile cross the blonde's face.

"He doesn't just want me, he loves me," he said, keeping his gaze to the ground. "Or at least he ~thinks~ that he does."

"What? But how…" Herihor sputtered, completely caught off guard.

"He told me so," the blonde said quietly, trying to keep his tone neutral. "Almost a fortnight ago."

"And do you return his feelings?" Once again he waited for Katenen's response, and once again he was taken by surprise when his friend turned to gaze at him, his tawny eyes filled with angst.

"I do not know," he professed helplessly, shrugging his slender shoulders. "Sometimes I think that I do; but then I think of Yugi and I wonder…"

"Because of their likenesses?" Katenen nodded miserably, tears filling his eyes.

"I tell myself that it isn't true, because, despite their similarities, I can also see the differences… their stature, their hair, and their eyes, and especially their personalities and hearts. Yugi… Yugi was strong… independent… he had been since his childhood; ever stepping in to protect and defend his brother, no matter the cost to himself. Yugi, yes, he loved me, but he didn't ~need~ me. But Atem…" Katenen broke off and heaved a tremulous sigh. "Atem has continually been forced to step forward… forced by his position and his father to take on more than he should. He ~feels~ himself weak… ~feels~ himself needful… because of the errors of his youth. Because of his lack of self-confidence, he has ~always~ relied on others, despite the strength that I ~know~ he carries within. I ~know~ he has a good heart," he said desperately, his eyes pleading for his friend to understand. "And I ~know~ that that strength is there. But how can I be assured that what he feels is love, and not need?"

Herihor stared at his despondent friend, his kind eyes filled with tender amusement. "And why can it not be both?" he chided, nudging the blonde gently. Before Katenen had a chance to answer, the door to the antechamber opened and the topic of their discussion slipped back inside. He smiled down at the sleeping mother and child, and then turned his gaze to Katenen, his smile fading into a look of concern as he saw the blonde's trembling body and tearstained face.

"Are you alright?" he mouthed, watching curiously as a light blush stained Katenen's face. When the blonde turned away and refused to answer, Atem looked expectantly at Herihor. The guard cleared his throat, nervous under the scrutiny of his king.

"He is just emotional over the birth," he offered in explanation, knowing that his words were at least ~partially~ true. "Between the stress of the ceremony today and the suddenness of Anhay's labor, I'm afraid that my master has overextended himself." Herihor fell silent, noting the way that Atem's gaze shifted once again to the blonde, his serious eyes filling with tenderness as he took in the despondent figure. Suddenly the god-king moved across the room, removing his cape as he did so. Stepping up to the blonde he draped it across his shoulders, and then placed an elegant finger under Katenen's chin, forcing him to raise his head. Atem mouthed no words, and made no gestures, but offered him a smile… one so full of love and caring that it took the blonde's breath away. Before Katenen could respond, Atem turned away, heading for the exit. And, as Herihor saw the wistful longing in Katenen's eyes as they followed the king out the door, the guard knew that he had his answer.

`You love him, my friend," he thought to himself, turning his attention back to his wife. `You heart just needs to convince your mind that it is true.'


**TBC**

Translations:

Tjehenu- Ancient Egyptian word for the Libyans of their time

Merwet- Love

Hemet- Wife

Sekhmet- Egyptian goddess of healing

Ima-Senet- Gentle sister

Khara- Shit

Sen- Brother

Bes, Horus, Hathor, Tawaret, Amun- Egyptian gods and goddesses called upon to aid the mother and child through delivery

http://www.touregypt.net/featurestories/mothers.html- the link I used to glean the information on Ancient Egyptian childbirth customs