Desideratum

Title: Desideratum: Assuagement
7/9

Author: Ykarzel

Rating: NC-17

Pairing(s): S/J

Beta: Shadow Laura, Sonja

Spoilers: no

Disclaimer:
Seto and Joey are not mine. Jason
is.

Assuagement

n.
: the feeling that comes when something burdensome is removed or reduced.

Seto’s appointment ran an hour over.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> When he did leave, Joey didn’t walk him to
the door. Instead, he crawled onto the
bed inside the room.

“If he had been in here for five more minutes, I would have
come in to see what was wrong.”

Joey sighed and patted the bed beside him.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Jason crawled onto the bed and wrapped an arm
around his best friend. Joey hid against
him, welcoming the protection. “You
don’t have to worry, Jay, Seto would never hurt me.”

“He’s already hurt you.”

Joey shook his head, as much as his position would
allow. “I hurt myself.”

Jason pulled away enough that he could look into Joey’s
eyes. Joey noticed with a pang that
Jason’s eyes were the same color as Seto’s.
“What’s wrong with you, Joe?”

“I want him.”

Jason blinked. In the
beginning he’d suspected that, but over the past month he’d grown to believe
Joey when he said Seto was just a patient.
In retrospect, however, Jason realized that the reason Joey became more
and more insistent that Seto was only a patient was to convince himself, not
his best friend.

“Oh, Joe,” he said softly.
He kissed Joey’s forehead.
“Doesn’t he want you?”

Tears threatened behind Joey’s eyes, and a lump formed in
his throat. “No, he does.”

Again, Jason was taken by surprise.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Then what’s the problem?”

Joey fisted some of Jason’s shirt in his hand.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “He doesn’t need me, Jay.”

Jason pulled away.
Joey reached out to him, but Jason avoided his hands.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Grabbing his best friend by the shoulders, he
sat him up. “Look at me, right now,
Joey.”

Joey didn’t want to, he didn’t want to see Seto’s eyes, but
he didn’t resist when Jason grabbed his chin.
“He doesn’t have to need you.
When did you get it into your head that a healthy relationship is based
on need? He wants you and you
want him and that’s a healthy relationship.
He shouldn’t need you, if he needs you than your relationship isn’t in
balance.”

Morals and conscience screamed inside Joey.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Frantically, he searched for another
reason. “He’s my patient.”

Jason rolled his eyes.
“Don’t pull that with me. I know
the only reason he comes here is for somebody to touch him once in a
while. Once he has somebody outside of
therapy to do that for him, he won’t need therapy anymore.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> So what if that somebody is you?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He won’t be a patient.”

Joey shook his head in denial.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Somehow, it couldn’t possibly be right.

“Joe, when did you become so obsessed with making everybody
else happy that you started to believe you couldn’t be?”

The comment cut deep.
Joey was reminded of Seto’s second appointment, and the book he had
read. Jason was right.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Oh, Jay, I don’t want to be a stump.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He grabbed the red head in another hug,
wanting to feel safe again.

Jason didn’t understand, but Joey seemed to have come to the
right conclusion. “Of course you don’t.”

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