Chimamire Namida

Chimamire Namida Ch. 7 - "Hitotsu Chigau Men"
By Shawna

It was getting dark when Ayumi realized that she was lost. She had lived in the city since she was rather young, but that did not mean she knew every part of it we It It was a very large city, after all. She wrapped her arms more tightly around herself, it had become quite cold, and continued walking. Fear did not yet occur to her, but it lurked over the horizon of her mind, creeping ecloscloser with the approach of night. At this rate, she would just have to get a cab. The emptiness of her wallet struck her when she thought of this idea, and the fear crept a few steps forward.
Dark seemed to come over the sky like ink from a spilled bottle; slowly, but steadily, with an almost sinister intent. Ayumi cast furtive glances upward, hoping that she would somehow find herself in familiar territory soon. She had wandered for hours, lost in thought and turmoil. What did Katsuya mean to her? More importantly, what did she mean to him? And the pain in Seto's eyes that afternoon, the pain that was suddenly and startlingly familiar to her. That haunted her above all else; she kept seeing Seto's cold blue eyes, usually so impassive, abruptly filled with hurt. She had gazed into those eyes and seen a part of Seto that it did not seem anyone had ever seen. His cold eyes had cracked like old mirrors, however briefly, and shown her something inside of him that burned with pain and anger, outrage and fear. Something so different from the apathetic front she had become accustomed to him putting up.
Ayumi was lost in contemplating these things, and did not notice the limousine that slowed and pulled up to the curb until the door had opened. Startled, she stepped back, instantly thinking of all the horror stories she had heard about young girls being abducted off the sidewalks. But the head that appeared out the door was familiar, the voice somehow frightening and comforting because she instantly recognized it.
"What are you doing, Ayumi?"
She looked into Seto's eyes, trying to find any hint of the emotions she had seen earlier that aftern Th There was nothing, just the blank distant coldness. They stared at each other for a few seconds, in silence, and then the coldness faded just a bit, a hint of warmth, of sympathy, entered the arctic blue of Seto's eyes.
"You're going to catch your death," he said softly. "Get in the car."
Wordlessly, Ayumi obeyed him, approaching the limo and allowing Seto to take her hands and help her inside. Shivering, she settled down next to Seto on the seatstinstinctively pressing herself against the door panel. The limo pulled back onto the empty road, and Ayumi rubbed her hands together quickly, trying to warm them. Without saying anything, Seto took off his white jacket, sleeveless though it was, and wrapped her in it like a blanket, bringing her against him as he did so. He put one arm around her, holding her closely. Briefly, she had the urge to pull away, but the warmth of Seto's body was comforting and so she allowed herself to relax against him. Neither of them spoke for several minutes, until finally Ayumi stopped shivering and felt comfortable again.
"Where did you think you were going, Ayumi? That's not the best part of town I found you in, you know." Ay Ayumi had been on the verge of sleep when Seto's voice abruptly cleared the fog from her mind. Her eyes opened slowly, reluctantly; she had to stifle a yawn before she could reply.
"I don't know," she said. "I was just thinking and lost my way."
"Well, don't do anything stupid like that again."
For a moment, Ayumi wanted to get angry at Seto for this remark, but she thought that perhaps it just showed that he cared, and she could not hate him for that, so she said nothing. Moreover, he was right, it had been very foolish of her to go running around unfamiliar parts of the city all by herself. She chastised herself for this, because she was suddenly embarrassed, upset that Seto would think she was a stupid little girl. She did not want him to think ill of her.
Seto did not think ill of her. As she was worrying about this, Seto was contemplating how exactly he was feeling. For a moment, back in his bedroom, he had felt very close to Ayumi, linking with her on some deeper level. He wondered if it was just his mind reaching for someone, anyone who might understand him, to grasp onto, or if perhaps she really did, or at least could, understand what he had been through, how he had been shaped into the man he was. The emotions: the pain, anger, fear, roiled inside him, hurting him and changing him like some sort of horrible venom. He longed to release these, to get them out of himself and crush them to nothing. Katsuya was not the person who could handle this, Seto had figured that out long ago, but Ayumi might be able to. However, Ayumi had her own demons to deal with. He did not know everything about her life but something painful definitely had her; it made him want to be with her, but it also made him reluctant to put anymore problems on her mind, even if they were not her own. It would likely be best to not tell her anything just yet. A little more time to see if she could take it, if she was the right one to tell, would be necessary.
Ayumi was dozing when the limo pulled up in front of her house. Seto had to shake her gently awake and help her out of the backseat before the came fully to her senses. Shyly, she unwrapped Seto's jacket and handed it back to him.
"Thank you," she said softly. "I'm sorry I ran off."
"Don't worry about it," he said easily, not meeting her gaze. "Come over tomorrow. There's something I'd like to talk to you about."
She nodded and Seto got back into the limousine, leaving her standing alone on the sidewalk when the car drove off. She did not want to go inside; did not want to face her mother at that moment. A warm, soft relaxation had filled her, not the same sort of excited heat she got when Katsuya paid attention to her, but something more pleasant, more gentle. It seemed odd to her to feel this way about Seto, Seto who had always been cold and distant, occasionally even cruel. Something about him had changed in recent weeks, he was kinder to her but he also seemed to be sad, and of course, she had had glimpshat hat there was something aflame inside of him, something that caused him terrible fear and pain. She could not imagine what might be wrong with him, butwas was definitely something.
The choice of whether or not to go straight inside and deal with herher her was abruptly taken out of Ayumi's hands as Miaka stuck her head out of the door.
"What are you doing, standing there? Get inside!"
"Coming, mother!" Ayumi said sadly, turning on her heel and heading into the house.
ite ite the fact that she had done nothing wrong, Ayumi earned herself a slap across the face when she entered her home. She was too tired, too preoccupied, to be angry, so she took the pain and ignored it. Miaka ordered Ayumi to her room to do homework for the remainder of the evening, and Ayumi obeyed, in half the respect. She did spent the rest of the day in her bedroom, but she did not get any homework done. Instead, she stared out the window and thought about the recent events. Many things had changed in the past few weeks, and the cycle was just beginning.
The next day, as requested, Ayumi went to Seto's house. She was surprised when it was he that came to the door, dressed in a suit, with his wire-rimmed glasses on.
"Hello, Ayumi. Come in," he said amicably. She eyed him skeptically as she walked past him into the house. The door clicked shut behind them.
"What did you want to talk about, Seto?" ask asked innocently, following him to the couch. His laptop was sitting on the small table by the couch; he had obviously been working. He motioned for her to sit next to him, and she obeyed quickly.
"You're going to attend a formal even with me on Saturday night," he said simply.
Ayumi was briefly taken aback. "Uh," she stammered. "What?"
Seto spoke condescendingly slowly. "You are going to be my date for a formal dinner." He resumed normal speaking. "It'st sot something that I have to do, due to my business connections. It'll look bad if I go alone, and you're cute and innocent-looking. Having you on my arm will make me look good."
"Great," Ayumi said flatly, not knowing how else to react.
Seto laughed. "It is great. Anyway, don't mention it to Katsuya. He knows about it, of course, but he's upset that I'm taking you. He's such an idiot, I swear. Even if it was socially acceptable for me to take a boy as a date, I still wouldn't be seen at a formal event with him. I don't think he knows how to act at that sort of thing."
Ayumi could not help but snicker at this. It was true, of course; Katsuya seemed hardly the type to behave himself appropriately for the kind of thing Seto was describing. While it did briefly occur to Ayumi to be offended because Seto was obviously just taking her as a token to put on his arm, she was too busy thinking about how glamorous it would be, and how exciting to be seen by so many high-class people as the date of someone as powerful and rich as Seto. With this thought came another, and she gasped.
"What?" Seto asked, not seeming to really care.
"I don't have anything to wear to something like that," Ayumi whined.
Seto shrugged dismissively. "I figured you wouldn't. I've already arranged to have something made for you, so calm down, baka." He set an appraising eye over her. "I'd say you're a size, what, 0?"
"Uh, a 2," she said, embarrassed.
"All right," he said, obviously making a mental note of it. "Size 2."
"Uh, Seto," Ayumi said hesitantly. "I don't think... I don't know that my mom would allow me to go to out. She doesn't let me go much of anywhere."
"We'll tell her you're babysitting while I'm out," he said easily, not missing a beat. "Just have her drop you off her at around 4 and I'll have people to do your hair and get you all ready. How does that sound?"
Ayumi sighed happily, imagining herself in a stunning ball gown with her hair and makeup professionally done. "That'll be great," she said.
At school the next day, Katsuya approached her. Remembering her promise not to bring up the dinner, Ayumi greeted him pleasantly, nonchalantly.
"Hi, Katsuya," she said with a grin, trying to play it cool. She was glad to see Katsuya, she always was. Seeing him brightened her day, made her feel a little lighter. Somehow, despite the fact that Seto had been more kind to her in recent days, she still had a softer spot for Katsuya. After all, he was the one who had begun being nice to her first, and it was with him that she had had her first kiss, her first sexual experience, though it had not gone to full intercourse yet. Ayumi was still working up to her fear of that; soon, she thought, she would be ready to sleep with Katsuya.
"Is Seto taking you to that dinner?" Katsuya asked firmly, dispensing with any pleasantries.
"Oh, uh," Ayumi stammered. Seto had told her that Katsuya knew about it, so it would be foolish to lie to him. "Yes."
"I knew he was going to do that!" Katsuya fumed. "That's so unfair!"
Katsuya was really angry because he did not get to with Seto. Katsuya craved Seto's attention, wanted Seto to consider him first, last, and only in all things. Ayumi, whom Katsuya himself had brought into the relationship, had now become a threat to Katsuya's number 1 spot with Seto.
Of course, Ayumi did not know this and she whimsically interpreted Katsuya's anger as being because he did not get to take her out. This struck her as terribly sweet, and she smiled at Katsuya.
"Oh, it doesn't mean anything, you know," she said quickly. "He just has to have something on his arm. Katsuya," here she lowered her voice. "I've been thinking. Maybe, that night after we get home. tho thought maybe then we could finally make love."
Katsuya's eyes opened wide. "Wha- really?" He asked, instantly brightening. In his head, he was already tossing the broken Ayumi aside, even as he was looking into her love-filled eyes, her beaming face. Her hands were clasped nervously before her.
"Yeah," she said softly. "I mean, if that’s not too late. If it is, we could do it the next night. I just... I think I'm ready now, Katsuya. I want you."
In truth, Ayumi did not feel ready at all. Fear and anger bubbled in her veins as she said these things to Katsuya, lying to him, pledging to do something she did not want at all. Recent days had seen Katsuya seeming to slip, though; to pay less attention to her and the thought of him not loving her anymore made her sick to her stomach. Somehow, she had found herself falling in love with Katsuya, abrupt as it was. More likely than real love, it was just her feminine nature, her innate need to have some sort of special connection with the person she had been sexual with. She did not realize this, though, and so believed that there was something about Katsuya that drew her to him, made her love him despite the fact that they did not know each other terribly well, had never really spent any quality time together.
Katsuya was smiling widely at her now. "Great," he said happily. "That night is fine. I guess I'll see you then."
Ayumi smiled weakly as Katsuya turned and headed off to his class. What have I just pledged to do? ran quickly through her mind, but she dismissed this thought, determining not to second guess herself. She had made a decision, hasty and uneducated and against her will though it was, and she should stick to it.
The early evening of Saturday found Ayumi at Seto's house, under the pretense of babysitting, having her face painted up with more makeup than she had ever worn before, and her hair being pulled painfully tight into a bun.
"Ouch," Ayumi said for umpteenth time. "Don't pull so hard."
The woman doing her hair smiled pleasantly. "I apologize again, Katana-san."
All of the people were incredibly courteous, but Ayumi knew it was only because Seto was paying them well for their services. When her makeup and hair were finally finished, the dress that had been made for her was finally brought up. Shivers shot up Ayumi's spine; she could not wait to see it.
The gown that slipped out of the clear plastic case was less lavish than Ayumi had pictured, but still truly remarkable, and of course, tailor made for her. It was a pure black velvet, covered with cracked-ice sequins that caught the light of the lamps in the room and sent it dancing across the walls. It was sleeveless, and the back dipped low. Two separate opera length sleeves, made of the same material and also covered with the sequins, completed the ensemble.
"You like it, Katana-san?" One of the women attendants asked, sounding pleased. "Do let us help you put it on."
"Putting it invoinvolved the attendants stripping Ayumi to her panties, much to her embarrassment, and putting her in a garter belt, black stockings, and black bustier, before the dress was put on on top of it all. It was a bit of a hassle, and more than a bit uncomfortable at first, but looking in the mirror at herself brought a smile to Ayumi's lips that she could not have held back if she had tried. Never in her life had she felt more beautiful.
Walkingn thn the stairs, to where Seto waited, was like some kind of dream, or a scene out of a movie. For a moment, Ayumi found herself wishing that it was Katsuya awaiting her at the bottom of the stairs, but Seto looked so handsome, so professional in his designer tuxedo that she decided she should enjoy this night, and make the most of being in such high company.
"You look so wonderful," Seto said, looking her up and down, obviously pleased. "Perfect."
She smiled with pleasure, soaking up his praise like a plant soaks up sunlight. It did not occur to her that he might just mean that he was pleased that she looked good because it would make him look good too.
Seto reached into his pocket, drawing out a small black box. "I picked up something that I thought would compliment that dress well," he said, opening the box at an angle where she could not see its contents. She waited patiently as he approached her. A strand of sparkling diamonds appeared from the box.
"Oh, Seto!" She gasped. "Gorgeous!"
He only smirked as he fastened the bracelet around her wrist. "That's not the half of it," he said softly, reaching back into the box. Light danced off the walls, the room seemed to visibly brighten. Seto had brought out the most exquisite choker necklace Ayumi had ever seen. Several strands of diamonds wove an intricate pattern that formed the necklace. Seto brought it in front of her, placed it around her neck and fastened it in the back. The diamonds stood high, to her throat, and also dangled down to her collarbones. Never had she seen something more beautiful, more opulent. This was something she had waited for her whole life, not diamonds so much, but an outpouring of wealth for her benefit. She wanted this not for material, but emotional reasons. If someone was willing to spend so much on her, to make sure she had the most wonderful things, it must mean that she was wanted, that she was worth something. Katsuya loved her, and Seto... Whatever Seto thought of her now was a significant improvement over what he once had.
"Now your look is complete," Seto said simply, taking a step back. Ayumi glowed in the center of the room, standing like a statue of some beautiful goddess. Seto watched her, saw how her eyes lit up when she saw her own reflection in the mirror, the way she admired the diamonds. The look in her eyes was not like the ones that other girls, and even boys for that matter, got when showered with wealth. There was something emotional in her eyes, as if the diamonds meant next to nothing, that the attention was what she really craved. She was so innocent, so naive and pure, untainted despite what she had done. Her virginity was intact, that was what seemed to really matter to her, and so she was still like an angel before him. Anger built up inside him; jealousy for her purity, for the things she had never had to suffer through that he had. It was not fair of him to view her that way, but he could not stop himself now, seeing her admire her dress, the diamonds, like a little girl getting her first view of real splendor.
She was the one to tell, Seto knew now. Telling her would shatter a part of that innocence she held so d Te Telling her would change both of their worlds. In that moment, Seto wanted to strip away every last bit of the purity that surrounded the cherub that stood before him. Strip away all of it, make her like him.
Make her his.

**To Be Continued.**