Desideratum

Title: Desideratum: Torment 6style='mso-ansi-font-size:12.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman"'>/9

Author: Ykarzel

Rating: NC-17

Pairing(s): S/J

Beta: Shadow Laura, Sonja

Spoilers: no

Disclaimer:
Seto and Joey are not mine. Jason
is.

Torment

n.
: great physical pain or mental anguish .

Seto really felt like this moment couldn’t last any
longer. It was like an itch between his
shoulder blades. Joey was busy, and he’d
be back in just a moment. Jason,
however, was very much present, and obviously not very happy with Seto.

Eventually, it became too much.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “What did I do?” Seto asked, spinning
around. Jason glaring at his back was
making him feel guilty, and he had no reason to feel that way.

Jason crossed his arms.
“I don’t know yet. But I know it’s
something.”

Seto rolled his eyes at the red head.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Jason really needed to learn when to butt
out.

“Seto, come on back, room eight.”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Joey was some where down the hallway, and
Seto couldn’t see him. On the way back,
he tried to look into room four, but, as usual, the door was shut.style='mso-spacerun:yes'>

He glanced at the bed in the room, but walked passed
it. Somehow, he knew instinctively that
even sitting on the bed wasn’t a good idea at this point.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He opened the sliding glass door that led to
the balcony. The table from his last
appointment was still there, as were the chairs.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> The glass had been cleaned.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He took a seat and looked out over the city.

He knew when Joey was standing behind him in the
doorway. Still, he pretended not to
notice. It was a full two minutes later
before Joey walked out. “How are you
today Seto?”

“Fine,” he answered, without looking over.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He kept his eyes glued to the roof of a
building across the street.

Joey took a seat in the other chair.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Slowly, the silence lengthened.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Guilt wallowed in Joey’s stomach.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Eventually, Seto was the first one to speak.

“They’re back.”

Joey cringed again.
How could he have messed this up so badly?style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He swallowed hard before answering.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “If you need to increase your appointments
Jason will schedule you in.” The blonde
stood, and walked behind Seto’s chair.
He reached for Seto’s shoulders, though his hands hesitated inches
away. A strong, stern, mental reprimand
was issued, and he forced himself to touch the brunette.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> He tried to ease the tension out of Seto’s
shoulders, even though he knew he was fighting a losing battle.

“If I didn’t need sex at first, why did I need it then?”

Joey’s hands fell still.
He hadn’t expected Seto to confront the issue so bluntly.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “You didn’t.”

Seto let his head fall to the side and nuzzled at Joey’s
hand. Joey responded by stroking Seto’s
cheek, reminding himself that Seto needed affection, and a lot of it, if his
mood swings were back.

“I wanted it though.”

“I know,” Joey answered.

“You gave it to me.
You could have stopped me.” Joey
didn’t have a response to that. It was
true. “If you just give your patients
sex just because they want it, doesn’t that make you a whore?”style='mso-spacerun:yes'> His word were angry.

Joey yanked his hands away from Seto.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I don’t do that,” he blurted before he could
help it.

“But you did.”

“I didn’t give you sex just because you wanted it.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I had sex with you because you wanted it, and
I wanted you to have it.” Joey walked
around so he was standing in front of Seto.
He caught his chin and forced him to look up.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “I messed up and I’m sorry.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> I let my own desires get mixed into
this. I won’t mess up again.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> If it happens to be that I can’t continue
your therapy, then Jay will take over for me.”

“I don’t want Jason,” Seto spat.

Joey did his best to remain as calm as possible.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> “Then we’ll work something else out.”

Seto was hurt. Joey
didn’t understand. He reached out and
grabbed Joey’s hand, using it to tug the blonde to him.style='mso-spacerun:yes'> Joey resisted at first, reluctant to have
that much contact. But Seto pulled Joey
into his lap. Reminding himself that
Seto was having his mood swings again, Joey wrapped his arms around the
brunette and kissed the top of his head.

“I’m sorry,” Joey said softly, kissing Seto’s cheek again.

“But I’m not.”

“I know.”

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