Tearing Down Souls

Now for another Yami/Ryou moment. *listens to people aww-ing and cheering* No, no little ones. No happy endings. Remember? Well, maybe. If you ask nicely.


And I have a request. Who wants to write a Yugi/Jou song fics for me? To a Taylor Swift song. I'd Lie to be more precise. If you're interested let me know. I'll even pop it up on A series of Break Up Fics if you want. With you getting full credit of course. Like I said let me know.


Oh and a question I haven't been able to answer on my own. Who's taller Ryou or Malik? Ever notice how when you see the two together either one's bent over *pauses then giggles because I'm immature that way* or it's not really Ryou and/or Malik or one's standing in front of the other. If anyone knows of a good pic of the two of them where you can tell I'd be in your debt for a story of your choice. I prefer it not to be fan art because we all know that's open to whatever hentai thoughts the artist can think of. But if you do know any good fan art I'll never turn down that either hehe.


I do not own Hush Hush as sung by The Pussycats Dolls


lyrics in **


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointin' out my wrongs
I never needed pain, I never needed strain.
My love for you was strong enough you should've known.
I never needed you for judgement
I never needed you to question what I spent
I never asked for help, I take care of myself, I don't know why you think you got a hold on me.
And it's a little late for conversations
There isn't anything that you can say.
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, so look at me and listen to me because*

Ryou could hear the others talking behind him but his attention was focused elsewhere. Out across the garden where the Kaiba's gardener had planted blood red roses. He barely noticed the fact that his hands were shaking. They had been doing that a lot since he had come back to Japan three months prior. The doctor that Seto had made his see thought it was a result of the traumatic time he had spent in Bakura's hands.


Ryou was sure it was because he was going to have to face Yami soon.


So far Malik and Seto had kept the other at bay. Saving him off with the excuse that Ryou wasn't well enough to put up with the stress. The doctor had shot that theory out of the water. So Seto had called Yami and told him to come over. Malik had been pissed. To put it mildly.


"Look, you're the one who fucked him so who's bad was that?"


Very mildly.


"I never said I didn't have a hand it everything that happened." Yami was pacing in front of the fireplace with all the grace of a cage tiger. He still made Ryou's breath catch.


Malik growled in the back of his throat. A strong almost feral noise. Muscles bunched under tanned skin as they flexed and relaxed. Anyone else would have knots that size of small cars if they had the same habit the Egyptian seemed to have developed in the time they had been away. "No. But you and the mutt come storming in here and the first thing out of his mouth is about why Ryou let Bakura take Yugi away. Do you really think he could have stopped him?"


"Ryou knew what he was doing was wrong" Seto made a general sweeping motion. He's a grown man. He could control his baser instincts if he wanted."


Jou nodded his agreement. "Yugi was his friend too."


Ryou gave a soft laugh filled with self loathing. He could feel the attention shift back to him. Outside the rain fell harder and the bruised rose petals fell and scattered. Yugi wasn't his friend. If he had been then he never would have hurt the other light the way he had.


Malik moved forwards him to wrap his arms around him. Comfort in it's purest form. Malik never asked for anything from him that he wouldn't freely give. He had know on some deep level that Ryou had been heading down the path of self destruction. He just hadn't known the white haired man was going to drag others along into his self made hell. "I'll make them go if that's what you want. They don't need to see you in order to get Yugi back. You and I can go back to my house and just let Seto know what you know. You'll have done your part."


"No." Jou stood and crossed his arms over his chest. "We've wasted damn near a week. They could have moved on by now and every minute we waste now puts Yugi in danger."


This time it was Seto's turn to nod. "Yugi isn't stable right now. And Bakura never has been. The mutt's right. We can't wait any longer."


The arms around him tightened and Ryou shrugged the other off impatiently.


"I don't need you to fight my battles for me Malik. I don't need Seto to point out what I did was wrong. I don't need Jou to judge me. I can take care of myself. I don't need anything from any of you. Yugi does though. So if you're all done fighting can we get on with it." His voice was clipped reminding the others of the British Isles he had come from.


Yami held his hands open in a placating gesture. "No one blames you Ry-"


"Don't fucking lie to me," Ryou snarled. "I had that enough from him and I don't need it from you. You want that truth? Fine. I'll tell you every sordid detail as long as you all shut up!"

*I don't want to
Stay another minute
I don't want you
To say a single word
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
There is no other way
I get the final say
Because
I don't want to
Do this any longer
I don't want you
There's nothing left to say
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
I've already spoken
Our love is broken
Baby Hush Hush*

"Yugi wasn't supposed to get involved. I didn't want to hurt him I just wanted him to...I don't know. It didn't even involve him really other than the fact he had what I wanted."


"You caused all this just to get your way." Seto pushed Jou back onto the couch where the blonde continued his rant despite the warning hand on his shoulder. "You wanted to get laid fine but you didn't have to-"


"I said SHUT UP!" Ryou slammed his hands down on the window sill hard enough to cause the frame to shake.


"Ry," Malik murmured. "Easy buddy."


Yami looked shocked. He had never seem the chocolate eyes as full of anger as he did right at that moment. If Bakura had managed to break his own light to that point what had he done to the more innocent light?


"Jou's right you know." He let his head fall forwards to thud against the glass none to gently. Hiding behind his long hair Ryou continued his story. "I wanted Yami. I never stopped to consider Yugi's feelings. I didn't care. Is he the only one that deserves to be happy? I only wanted someone to love me the way he was loved."


"Ryou..." Yami moved forward.


"Doesn't matter. That's Yugi's favorite thing to say now. Bakura taught it to him. Along with a variety of other things. He's not right."


"Bakura?"


"No. I mean there's something wrong with Yugi. I wanted to take him to a doctor or something but Bakura has him convinced that if he leaves the house that something bad will happen to him."


Jou shook his head. "What do you mean there's something wrong with Yugi? What'd you guys do to him?"


"We didn't do anything." Ryou spun on his heel and pointed at the crimson eye yami who had managed to steal a few steps closer. "He and I did something. You all seem to forget that Yami had a hand in this as well. Yeah Bakura and I took him away but there was a reason for it."


The room was silent. There was no way to deny it. Yami had been heart broken when Yugi had disappeared. He had gone to the only person he could think of who had the resources to help him find his light. It had been almost two weeks before he had realized that Ryou and Bakura were gone as well. It had taken another late night phone call from Malik to figure it out.The blonde had been hysterical, convinced that Bakura had done something to his friend.


Then he had gotten a phone call.


It was rushed. A quick explanation about what had happened and the fact that they were moving around. Trying to stay one step ahead of Seto's men. And doing a damn fine job of it if the CEO's rants were any indication.


Yami was reminded once again that having a vengeful Malik after you was a bad thing. After a knockdown drag out fight that ended with Malik's busted ribs being taped, Yami's broken arm in a cast and several innocent objects being demolished the two Egyptians had come to an agreement. Neither of them would get back the one they cared about unless they worked together.

So Ryou would call Malik who would tell Yami who would send Seto searching through the local collages searching for the name Ryou was registered under.


Then one day the phone calls stopped.


For almost two months no one heard anything. The last school had reported that "Daisuke" had dropped his classes over the phone. He had left no forwarding address and hadn't wanted a copy of his transcripts. The woman Seto had talked to had let one interesting fact slip. When Daisuke had called he hadn't sounded like himself. He sounded colder. And she had heard someone giggling in the background chanting about how Ryou bunny wasn't going to go away again. She had thought it was a child.


Yami had been sitting in the game store trying to keep his mind off of the terrible thoughts of what could have happened to the two lights when Malik had slammed through the door.


Ryou had called. They were in Ireland. He wanted to come home. He couldn't convince Yugi however. He had done everything but threatened to drag the other along with him

.

*I never needed your corrections
On everything from how I act to what I say
I never needed words, I never needed hurt, I never needed you to be there everyday
I'm sorry for the way I let go
Of everything I wanted when you came along
But I am never beaten, broken, not defeated
I know next to you is not where I belong
And it's a little late for explanations
There isn't anything that you can do
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver, so you will listen when I say baby*

"I tried." Ryou sank to his knees. "I tried to remind him of what was here for him but he just kept slipping farther away from me. Everything he said, everything he did had a flavor of Bakura's teaching to it. He didn't want to be hurt again. I took everything away from him and he replaced it all with Bakura. I didn't mean for it to happen. Sometimes he'd remember something about this place or about you all but it hurt him. A physical pain. Bakura...Bakura taught him how to hurt people without ever laying a hand on them. He made it so no one could hurt him the way we had ever again. He's not well."


"You keep saying that." Seto was frustrated. Nothing Ryou said made any sense. It was if he was circling back on his own mixed up thoughts. Tripping over memories that were only half there to begin with. "In what way is he not well? Did he hurt him? Did he abuse him? Rape him?"


Ryou made that awful hateful laugh again. "You can't rape Yugi. He's more likely to jump you than the other way around. He likes what Bakura does to him. he learned fast that if Bakura was in a bad mood all it took was sex to make him happier. He used it as a defense. A way to get what he wants from people."


"You had sex with him." It hurt. And that more than anything was what finally drove Yami to the white haired ones side. He pulled him against his chest trying to offer a shoulder to cry on. His thanks came in the form of Ryou shoving him away hard enough to send him falling onto the couch.

The other shook his head franticly. "I'm not broken like he is. I don't need you next to me. I don't. I want Yugi back here away from my yami and away from me. I want you to go to hell. All of you. I didn't want him to come with us but I couldn't let him go alone. I should have. I should have just stayed here with...with you...but you didn't want me...not without him...I never understood what he meant but he's right. It all gets fuzzy and it's easier just to not think about it."
Soulful brown eyes stared at the fireplace lost in the past.


"Ryou? Hey, Ry? Damn it." Malik took the other gently by his shoulder pulling him to his feet. "He's gone again."

"You still have the Millennium Rod. Use it." It seemed like a good idea to Jou. Sure it would hurt but if it got his friend back then who cared.


"And break him even more than he is now? Sure. Sounds like a great plan. I'll just go skipping through his shattered mind with a fucking baseball bat and see if you hit hard enough if it will fix itself."


"Don't hit me." Whisper soft but with no real feeling behind it. Words that had been repeated so often it was second nature.


"You caused this," Malik stood and turned to Yami. "Fix it."


Yami hesitated for a moment before he nodded. "Why don't you all wait down here. I'll take him up to the guest room I use when I stay here. See if I can snap him out of it."


"This time try to keep your dick in your pants."


Ignoring the dig the former ruler grasped the pale hand in his own and led Ryou from the room. When he reached the room that unofficially belonged to him he sat the younger on the bed before kneeling on the floor in front of him. "Ryou. Angel. Look at me."


No one was home behind those eyes. He had retreated to a place where he couldn't be hurt.


"If you care about me at all please, tell me where Yugi is."


"You only care about him. That's fine. You wanted me to be more like he was. I had all the right words. All the right moves. You just never realized that I'm not like him. I may be a light but not like he is. I've been with Bakura far too long to be that innocent. I didn't want you all the time. Just sometimes. You don't belong with me all the time anyway. We'd grow to hate each other. Why do you think Bakura took Yugi from you? It was just for a variety. Face it Yami you were nothing but a convenience fuck." The words, the attitude even the smirk was right. He looked just like his darkness. Just like the one who had taken his Hikari away. Now it was up to Yami to decide what the next move

was.

*I don't want to
Stay another minute
I don't want you
To say a single word
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
There is no other way
I get the final say
Because
I don't want to
Do this any longer
I don't want you
There's nothing left to say
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
I've already spoken
Our love is broken
Baby Hush Hush*

Yami stood and turned his back to the taller man. Part of him wanted to lash out. To punish the other for the hurtful things he said. To see if Bakura's other half was as skilled at escaping the Shadows as the tomb robber was. "Yugi is mine. You had no right to touch him."


"I didn't. I never laid a hand on your precious little aibou." Ryou pushed himself to his feet. He pressed his chest against the stiffened back of his one time lover. "He touched me. Sucked my cock. Let me fuck him. But I never touched him. He isn't you anymore than I'm Bakura. And you, you're a selfish bastard. First Yugi, then me, who's next? Malik isn't exactly fond of you right now. How oh how will you collect all the lights Pharaoh? Because you need us. I realized that when we were with Bakura. You both try to surround yourself with light. Is it the only way to keep the darkness at bay? What about me? I already have Yugi. I can get Malik just as well. If I do..."


Yami caressed the arms wrapped round his waist. A slight frown played across his lips. Something was wrong. Something he wasn't sure he could fix. "If you what Ryou?"


He nuzzled the others neck. "You smell good."


"Concentrate." Yami turned so he was facing the brown eyed one. "I don't want to play this game anymore. Tell me how to end it."


"I'll get Malik. You get Yugi. All of us together. We can keep you from hurting us. We can keep the dark at bay. Game. Set. Match." Ryou grinned. He was happy. He had figured out why they all had to be together. He could arrange it. All the pieces would fall into place. He hod won the game.


"Ryou. Angel, I didn't want to have to do this." Yami tangled his fingers in the long white hair surrounding him and pulled the other into a heated kiss.


Whining, Ryou gave up control. He was dimly aware of Yami reaching for something but the gentle nudging of Yami's tongue was distracting. He was devoted.


Yugi.


Yugi needed him. Need him to be strong. Needed him to not go into the dark place in his own mind. How was Yugi supposed to stay together if he couldn't.


"Yugi." Ryou stumbled away with the back of his hand pressed to his mouth. "Yugi needs to come home. There's no one to keep him here anymore. Bakura loves him but not the way he needs. Not the way you do."


Yami's heart sped up. He was back. He slipped the golden item into the waist of his pants, flipping his shirt over it to cover what he had retrieved. He wouldn't use it if he didn't have to. "I do love him. As much as you."

White hair flew as he shook his head desperately trying to force the words away. "I don't love him. I'm no better than the rest of you. I never touched him. I wanted to but I never did. I don't love him. I wanted to but I didn't. I was faithful. You belong with Yugi and I belong with Bakura. It's the natural order of things. I'm sorry Yami. I just...no one had ever tried to help me before. You were the only one to ever be gentle."


The former ruler was floored. They had tried to include Ryou. It was just that the boys yami had made it so hard. Then they had graduated and Yugi had started having dreams. Dreams that would cause him to wake up crying out in the dark of the night. Dreams that involved Ryou. So Yami had done what he must to make his light happy. He had set out to bring Ryou to Yugi. To let his other experience the real thing. Only somewhere along the way his own feelings had gotten caught up with Yugi's until he was no longer sure if it was the younger male or himself having the dreams of Ryou in his bed. In their bed.


"Say something."


"I think we should go back downstairs. I'm not sure it's a good idea for us to be up here anymore. I might do something I can never undo. I've made that mistake once."


"You hate me." Ryou hugged himself. No matter how hard he tried he always messed up.


"I love you." Fingers wrapped around the Millennium Rod. He pulled it out slowly trying not to alert Ryou to his motives. "That's why I'm going to fix it. Just like Malik told me to."


Ryou's head came up just as a flash of gold filled his vision.

*No more words
No more lies
No more crying ooh ooh
No more pain
No more hurt
No more tryin' Oh Oh Yeah
Because*

No one will ever lie to you again.


Yugi wanted you. Loved you. He would wake up every night with your name on his lips. I wanted to make him happy. I kept telling myself that.

I wouldn't admit that I wanted you as well.

I should have waited for him that night. I promised him I would. I promised that I would find you and bring you home so we could all be together.

But I was impatient.

You looked so lost. So sad. I couldn't stand it.

I wanted you and I'm not used to denying myself.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry. Either of you. I didn't mean to cause you pain. I didn't mean for it to end up this way.


You're stronger than you know.

You survived Bakura. Survived me.

I won't let anyone hurt you anymore. Ever. I'll protect you and Yugi the way I should have from the beginning.


You don't have to try to be someone other than who you are. You're the way you're meant to be.

Perfect. Beautiful. Fallen. Broken. Strong.


You don't need us to validate you.

None of us.


You are Ryou Bakura.

My love. We need Yugi back.

You're the only one who can bring him home.

You still have the ring.

Use it to track them. Find him.

Rescue your lover from Bakura. He doesn't need you like we do.

Where's Yugi?


Yami chewed on his lower lip. A habit he had abandoned as a child that seemed to have returned full force. He could only hope he had done the right thing. It had been a long time since he had put an item that was not his own to use. The fact that he had used it on an unsteady mind gave him more to worry about.


Yet he and Malik had both agreed that it would be for the best if the blonde waited for Yugi. He had more experience with mind walking. And if Ryou was correct than Yugi was in worse need of the experience than the white haired one.

As soon as they found his light Malik had promised Yami that he would undo as much of the damage that he could.


Ryou's eyes fluttered open. "Ow."


"You fell. Are you okay?"


"I think so." Still looking confused the taller one opened his mouth to say something else when his cell phone rang shrilly. He glanced down at it before tearing out of the bedroom and in the living room. He snapped it open, turning it on speaker phone as he did so.


His voice trembled as he answered. "Moshi moshi."


"Hey pretty bunny."


"Yugi?" Jou reached for the phone. He hadn't heard his friend sound like that before. Child-like but at the same time more weary than he had ever sounded during the battles they had fought in high school.


"Ryou, I'm hanging up."


The spiky hair man sounded panicked. Seto lunged forward to catch Jou in mid grab. "He's not supposed to talk to us you idiot."


"I just wanted to know if he was okay."


Turning his back on the rest of the room Ryou's voice dropped to a husky whisper. The voice he use when telling Yugi about the past. The voice that lways calmed him down. "No! I'm sorry Yugi we're having a slight puppy problem."


"I'm not a dog!" The blonde growled before a hand was clamped over his mouth.


"I swear to Ra if you make him hang up before he tells us where he is I'll castrate you. With a fucking butter knife." Malik's threat may have been more talk than anything but when it came to his more delicate places it was a chance Jou just wasn't prepared to take.


"Yugi where are you? It's been almost a year. I thought that maybe you wouldn't call."


Yami refused to meet Seto's cold glare. Okay so he wasn't the best at using the Millennium Rod. So the other had lost a few months. No harm would come of it. Unless Yugi caught the slip.


"I said I would, didn't I? Not all of us are liars." Yugi was silent for a long moment. "He wants me to be you."


Malik released his hold on Jou to shove him at Seto. He was vaguely surprised that the CEO actually caught him before he could stumble into the coffee table. He reached around Ryou to take the phone out of the trembling hands of his friend. Ryou had been shaking almost nonstop since they had returned. The doctors advice had been to give the boy a shot of something strong whenever the tremors got to be too much for him. Damn doctors. That was why Malik never trusted them. "Who does?"


"Bakura. He misses you Ry. You should come home. We need you. There can't just be two it has to be all three of us or Bakura starts to slip and I can't remember for all of us. My mind's too fuzzy now." Yugi whimpered softly. "I want you to come get me. I want to come home."


This wasn't getting them anywhere. And every good business man knows when negotiations start to stall try force. "Where are you?"


"New Orleans. I don't know the street. It's by a strip club. The Pink Diamond. Which by the way is a horrible name for a strip club. I mean they couldn't come up with something better?" He sounded happier all the sudden. The little boy lost voice gone. Replaced with delight. As if he knew he had won the game.


"America." Seto turned on his heel already dialing a number on his own phone. "It'll take us at least 62 hours to get there."


"Ryou."


Ryou leaned against his friends chest. He stared at the phone as if will power alone could bring Yugi back to them. "Yeah?"


"Come home." The phone beeped as the connection was broken.

*I don't want to
Stay another minute
I don't want you
To say a single word
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
There is no other way
I get the final say
Because
I don't want to
Do this any longer
I don't want you
There's nothing left to say
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
I've already spoken
Our love is broken
Baby Hush Hush*

"We'll be there soon."


Dark brown eyes met crimson. Ryou had been staring at the floor of the plane since they had boarded nearly a hour before. Something was pressing at the back of his mind. Something he should remember but wasn't quite there. Something important.


"Leave him alone Pharaoh. He's tired." Malik had slouched down in the aisle not long after take off to try to pull his friend out of his dazed state. It didn't appear to be working. He and Yami had thought it would be best if Malik took care of fixing Yugi while Yami did Ryou.


But Ryou had been saying things that didn't make sense. Like the time lapse. Ryou had been home for a couple of months. Yet he had told Yugi it had been a year.


"He's just nervous. Can you blame him? He just got away and now we're taking him back to that psycho." Yami ran his fingers through his hair. He's fine."


Ryou nodded. Of course he was. Soon Yugi would be back. Then Yami would love him again. "But if Yugi comes back you won't need me anymore will you?"


Yami shook his head slowly. "That's not true. You and Yugi and I belong together."


"You want me."


Yami blushed. "I don't think this is the type of discussion we should be having right now."


Jou mumbled in his sleep from the seat next to Seto. The CEO smirked at whatever it was he had said.


"Yami. We need to talk." Malik stood. "Now."


Sometimes it was good to know someone rich enough to own their own plane. Now was one of those times. On a commercial flight they never would have had the privacy the back row of seats offered. Malik stretched his legs out in front of him. "What did you do?"


"Exactly what you told me to do." Yami ran a hand through his hair making it stand up even more. "His mind was a mess. It was hard to figure out what was real and what was what he thought was real. I was careful."


"Not careful enough." Malik rested his head against the window. Outside clouds passed by hiding the world below. "We'll wait. See how Yugi is. Maybe it will be easier to try to fix them both at once. That way we can match everything up. Erase what Bakura did from their minds completely. No. On second thought maybe we just...modify it. You obviously aren't going to give either one of them up."


Yami narrowed his eyes. "I don't think it's any of your business Guardian."


"I agreed to help you. Don't make me change my mind. We'll just turn the tables. Make them think that Bakura is the one who cheated on them instead of you. Although technically you only cheated on Yugi" Malik mused.


"He wanted Ryou just as much as I did."


"Yeah but you couldn't wait could you? I know Ryou's sex personified but come on, if I can resist him I bet you could have too."


"Malik." A soft voice interrupted the beginning argument. "I need to talk to Yami. Alone please."


"Sure Ry." Malik placed a hand on Ryou's shoulder as he passed him. "Don't let convince you of anything you don't want. Believe it or not he's is not the god on earth he used to be."


Taking the seat the Egyptian had vacated Ryou faced Yami. "I was thinking about it. I'm okay with you not needing me because I don't need you. I want you. More than I have ever wanted anyone or anything in my whole life. But I don't need you anymore Yami. When we get Yugi back I'm going home with Malik."


As he watched his angel walk away Yami noticed that his hands were still trembling. "Are you lying to me or yourself?"


"Both. I'm good at it. After all I told Yugi everyday that I didn't want him I only wanted you. You'd be surprised how easy it becomes. Ask yourself something Yami. Do you really want me or do you only want me because Yugi does?"


"Does it matter."


A sad smile graced delicate features. "Of course not."


*Yeah Oh
Hush Hush, Hush Hush
I've already spoken
Our love is broken
Baby*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry for the wait. I've been bad and spending a lot of time on gaia. But hey good new is that the next chapter is Breakdown and it's already written. Yay!