To Lose

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh Gx. I do not own the basis for this fanfiction, the concept is taken with permission from “Yami’s Chan” fanfiction ‘Slut’. I make no money from this.


To Lose
By 11


Chapter 05
Slut

Reality was no less harsh the following morning.

“Chazz, come on!”

The paler boy opened his eyes not yet turning to face the intruding brunette shaking his shoulder as he did the previous morning.

“Chazz, it’s time to get up.”

But he waited, stalling. His thoughts turned to the hand on his shoulder. He was just asleep so he knew his shoulder wasn’t cold, but Jaden’s hand still felt hot through the shirt. Probably, Jaden was just naturally very warm.

“Chazz! Come on already!”

It was almost burning, but not uncomfortable. His hand wasn’t intrusive, not really, and there wasn’t anything strange in the clasp of his fingers, or the knead of his palm. Nothing insistent or groping – not now, and not yesterday at the lunch table either.

“Chazz?” Jaden groaned in frustration leaning over the dark-haired boy to lock sunset eyes with storm-gray. “Did you have trouble sleeping again?”

“Don’t go sticking your face in mine!” Chazz growled, arm lashing up at the brunette, pushing him back upright. Jaden just grinned then – glad to see the other was still vivacious enough to act tough.

“Okay! So you’re coming to breakfast, right?”

Chazz did not dignify the fool with an actual answer. “Idiot.” Jaden just grinned and the other recognized the lack of tension in his feigned irritation.

He knew why he didn’t mind the other as much though – because Jaden wasn’t one of ‘them’. Chazz recognized that, at least with the idiot, he felt safe. That was also why he was still ‘living’ in this pit-side of duel academy.

“Think they’ll have fried shrimp today?” Jaden wondered excitedly, waiting for the other to get ready to go.

“For breakfast? I doubt it.”

“For lunch then,” the brunette quickl amended, “I hope there’s shrimp! We haven’t had any for a whole two weeks!”

Two weeks? Why that’s a travesty! Chazz thought sardonically. “What a horror.” The idiot was probably still grinning though.

“I know right!” Yes that stupid bright toothy grin was still on his face. “Ready?” he didn’t wait for the affirmative, implying the answer from Chazz’s state of dress and relative cleanliness.

Idiot. Just because it took ‘him’ five minutes to get ready for the day…

As Chazz had predicted there was no friend shrimp for breakfast. Chazz surprised himself afterward consenting to sit near the slacker as opposed to the opposite side of the room.

He still couldn’t decide, even halfway through the lecture and in-class exercises if it was a good thing or not.

“Hey Chazz,” Jaden whispered, poking him, “is this right?”

It was a little exasperating at times: the slifer often made some minor mistake but that messed up the entire equation.

“Hey, Chazz?” again knocking his shoulder to ask another question. And Chazz would sigh or groan and explain it to him for the umpteenth time. But he didn’t dislike it, further he didn’t wholly dislike the other’s presence in his personal sphere.

Every poke, prod, or touch to get his attention the contact was at the forefront of Chazz’s mind. He didn’t fully understand that, but he did understand that he liked those touches; they were unexpectant, not groping, or revolting.

He did not detest the slacker. He acknowledged that now, what he continued to ponder if it was not so much that he didn’t mind the other boy as he could, conceivably… like him.

But how could he test such a theory? Inane as it likely was. When class ended, Jaden jumped up ecstatic with a cry for the shrimp no doubt waiting in the cafeteria as he’d been willing to be the case since breakfast.

Chazz’s hand circled Jaden’s wrist, preventing him from dashing out of the classroom as he usually did. His skin was too hot as always, or perhaps Chazz’s hands really were just cold. His fingers twitched over the skin feeling the light steady pulse through Jaden’s skin.

“Uh, yes?” Jaden asked looking back at Chazz still grinning, though obviously wanting to leave quickly to get the best pick of food. Chazz frowned, it didn’t take him long to formulate an excuse though.

“You’re going to just bolt?” it was inane, but at least he only had to imply that he didn’t want Jaden to leave without him, he didn’t actually have to say it.

Honestly it would have been really bad if Jaden decided to ditch him just then – he hated being accosted and having that bitter taste in his mouth – it made lunch impossible meanings he’d have to go without when it happened.

“No, I was going to wait,” Jaden assured, grinning brighter, “I just got a little excited, I swear I can smell it from here! It’s gotta be fried shrimp!”

His hand was starting to grow warmer too with prolonged contact, and Chazz idly noted at some point that he really did like contact with Jaden – just that stolen warmth probably felt better than it should.

“No doubt,” Chazz agreed releasing the wrist, his hand chill to the rest of the room, and packed up his books standing to half-walk half-dash to the cafeteria. He ignored the glowering eyes from ‘them’ as they went through the halls.

Idly, Chazz found himself entertaining the errant thought that he… wanted Jaden. Instantly he recoiled from that suspicion. No. There was no way! Not when there was this kind of garbage going on!

He’d never wanted. Sartorius was coming back soon too! Jaden was an absolute impossibility for every rational logical reason. He kept that in mind as he faced down the adorably excitable grinning teen across from him all during lunch.

`

He woke up in the night when nature called. Normally Chazz didn’t wake up but over the past several weeks he could rarely sleep through the entire night without waking up sick in some way.

He spent several moments still in the restroom cursing in his mind every foul deed he indulged after classes ended, before retreating to the safety of the slifer dorm. Behind the gym, the art supply closet… all even after his own room was desecrated and ruined.

But he had to go at some point, if he didn’t… they might get smart and try to follow through on that idiotic threat they came up with. And why was it so godamn important to him?

Because Jaden was the only one who didn’t know, who still looked and spoke to him like a normal human being. How could he not have cared? He’d tried not to… but this had been his salvation in his… lover’s (?) absence.

Without Jaden he might have actually considered breaking down somewhere… then even those in the administration and other respectable positions would know – and he couldn’t tolerate that. He wouldn’t be destroyed, not like that.

Finally after several breaths he composed himself enough to return to Jaden’s room and climb back onto the top bunk and attempt sleep. He stopped at the entrance, closing the door behind him.

Storm gray eyes wandered to the still gently breathing other occupant of the room. Jaden was lying on his side, the covers kicked half-off, arms and legs sprawled out and away. At some point his sleeping shirt had ridden up to reveal a sliver of skin of his belly.

It wasn’t an uncommon site, Chazz knew and even expected Jaden to be an inelegant sleeper, but somehow he couldn’t move his eyes away from the revealed slice of bare skin.

It didn’t make too much sense, there wasn’t anything particularly interesting about that spot. Jaden’s stomach was no more muscled than his own, his skin was tanner but that was difficult to distinguish in the dim of the dark room.

He hadn’t realized he’d moved to the bedside, and his eyes darted back up to the other’s sleeping face. His eyes were closed, sunset orbs hidden, brown and golden hair fanned across the pillow. Even sleeping his mouth had the attractive curve of his customary grin.

Chazz wasn’t aware that he had reached for the other until his fingers made contact with the other’s cheek – he shocked at the heat and soft of the skin. Somehow the motion continued until his palm slid across the skin, his fingers edging into chocolate caramel hair.

Jaden seemed to sigh and learn toward the touch – but he was still fast asleep. Chazz swallowed, his pulse racing. It didn’t make any sense – what was he doing? But if it was possible, Jaden’s skin was even hotter than he remember during the day.

His hand moved, slowly toward the other’s neck, and his own skin seemed to shudder delighted across the heat and light friction. At Jaden’s throat his thumb tucked back toward Jaden’s ear.

Chazz felt the steady thrum of Jaden’s pulse and recognized that his mind had started to haze over, a strange heady feeling he had only ever experienced once before as a severe lack of sleep. That wasn’t the case here – his own body felt too warm as well.

Somehow his other hand had found the open edge of Jaden’s shirt and had traveled up to his chest, Jaden’s breath seemed to quicken, and his hand splayed across the skin, feeling the other’s chest expand and compact with every breath, the pulse beneath his thumb began to hasten with his breath.

Chazz’s hand brushed across the skin of Jaden’s upper body, and the other’s lips parted a soft sigh breathing past pink lips – had his mouth looked like that before? Chazz felt his body burning, sure he was only drawing heat through his hands from the other boy.

His fingers curled across Jaden’s throat, the slinder muscles shifting slightly and he felt his other hand tracing down back toward his belly. Fingers brushing each faint ridge and rise of muscle. Jaden sighed again and Chazz leaned closer to the almost inaudible sounds.

Closer study of the sleeping Jaden’s face he could detect a faint flush across Jaden’s cheeks and neck – his hand moving lower and Jaden’s voice murmured something like a weak moan.

Chazz felt a thrill shiver up his spine – it sounded so foreign, so strange, and this was Jaden? He couldn’t believe it, Jaden was…

Jaden was human too. Logically even Jaden would have such a response to this kind of touch, even this grinning fool was human. His skin had begun to shudder and thrum slightly now, beneath his hands.

Chazz wasn’t fully aware of his hand slipping lower past boundaries he would never have crossed otherwise. He was leaning close enough to feel the other’s warm breath on his own lips – unconsciously the paler youth licked his lips and noticed the vague taste of cinnamon and something else…

He wanted that mouth just then – he wasn’t even aware of his thoughts, it was an animal want – something he would not have noticed or controlled until his tongue had already been inside the hot wet cavern open so slightly, so invitingly.
But just then his hand, a mind of it’s own, grasped around Jaden’s length. The brunette’s body went rigid and his spine arched, his neck tilting back, a sharp cry tore past rose lips. The lusty sound shocking Chazz to the core.
It suddenly occurred to him just what he was doing – and his hand’s recoiled from the other his body thrown backward and tripped over the desk chair, falling to the floor. His face felt hot – his whole body was hot – and that sound had just gone straight to a place that it never should have!

Chazz waited heart pounding, with bated breath for Jaden to open his eyes and look up at him in shock and disgust and hate – he couldn’t imagine such an expression on the boy – but he knew it would be, must, be the case.

Before he would never have been able to imagine Jaden’s face in a moment of pleasure, but then he’d never thought on it before – further now the image appeared burned into his eyelids, the feel and texture of his skin seared into his hands.

But Jaden did not wake up, his body shifted and he moaned softly, at the loss of contact, shifting a moment more before turning over and sleeping on. Chazz felt his speeding heart begin to slow, and he breathed out in a kind of relief…

His body was still hot, and parts of him were stiff that should never have been… least of all because of that fool. What had he done? Why? Was he an idiot of some sort?! He was shaking slightly half with fear, and half, to his own disgust, with excitement.

That sharp wanton cry echoed in his ears and he forcibly pushed it away – was he insane?! Why would he do that?! With Jaden…!! Jaden was the only one who even still ‘liked’ him and talked to him now! The only one who still treated him as a human!

He could not mess that up! He would not!! Was he drunk somehow? He didn’t understand it in the least, but he stood and launched himself into the top bunk curling under the covers willing his body to calm.

Thoughts raced on. He could not mess up what he had with Jaden. He would not! He would not let Jaden hate him! He would never do that again – he couldn’t even think about it!

If Jaden ever knew… he’d definitely hate him, he never wanted to see hate in Jaden’s face. He never wanted to see disgust and malice in sunset eyes. He didn’t want Jaden to kick him out – he didn’t want Jaden to… leave it.

It was so dangerous – what if he had woken up?! What if he’d actually kissed him?! He couldn’t believe he’d thought about… tasting him, kissing him… and it was worse, because he felt his tongue oddly ache at the thought of being buried in another’s heat.

And why?! Wasn’t it disgusting to him anyway?! Why?!! It made no sense!!

Jaden was human, but he hadn’t wanted that. Chazz was turning into what he hated – he thought with a shudder of revulsion. He could absolutely not corrupt Jaden. Because Jaden was still somehow ‘pure’ and Chazz…

Chazz glowered, his body finally becoming a bit cooler, perhaps enough to allow himself to sleep.

Chazz knew it, he was aware and he could continue, and become more so – because he was already so dirty. And thus was the price of keeping Jaden unaware, while Chazz was.

`

It had stopped hurting when one of ‘their’ lengths slid inside him – a pounding pulsing piece of grotesque flesh – pumping in and out of his backside, a hand fisting in his hair guiding his mouth back and forth over a second hot mass of disgusting throbbing mass.

He’d lost Jaden, purposely after lunch – if he didn’t do this at some point – these blockheads might get it in their pea-sized walnut-brains that they should try to talk to Jaden and make him aware of what Chazz was, what he did.

Their grunts and faster jerking hips signaled the approaching end of round two, there were only four today, there would likely be just one more turn – possibly two, but hopefully just the one.

Hot bitter seed shot down his throat, and the boy above him jerked his hips fasted milking himself into Chazz’s mouth. The one at his back grunting sickeningly before finally twitching inside him and shooting similar disgusting white deep inside his body.

When they finally pulled away, there was one more to replace the one at his back, the others sitting back, watching with disgusting beady dark lustful eyes.

Revolting. Chazz didn’t tense when the hot length slid inside him the youth groaning and letting out an inane curse, pumping inside him setting his rhythm.

How the hell had he ever gotten it into his head that touching Jaden was okay? Even if he’d been drunk – there’s no way this felt good – it was gross, it was disgusting, so why the hell had Jaden sounded so…?

Chazz started slightly, the sharp cry from the night before echoed in his ears, summoned at only the barest thought, and he very nearly moaned from that alone. The youth pumping into his backside was getting faster now.

His hands hurt on his hips, he hated their hands – but he loved Jaden’s. Jaden’s hands never hurt – and he was always so warm. Chazz thought back to Jaden’s hands shaking him awake, his grip could be strong, but never enough to hurt.

If it was Jaden… Chazz started at his thoughts, biting back a moan as the boy continued sliding in and out – it wouldn’t feel like this probably… Jaden would be… ‘Chazz,’ and he bit back another moan, somehow Jaden’s voice in his ears, altered.

He only felt his shaft once – it had been almost soft but stiffened at his touch, it was warm, it felt… not bad. If that was what was buried inside him instead…

Chazz felt his body heat – what the hell was he thinking?! And during something like this?! But the revulsion in the pit of his stomach had begun to vanish – if he imagined the soft breathy moans of Jaden replacing the horrid disgusting grunts above him…

He felt his own body stiffen slightly, and bit back a quiet moaning that threatened to spill out his throat.

It was horrible. A disgusting thought – even corrupting Jaden in his mind was… it was too late. His body was hot and he imagined that mouth whispering to him, his warm hands at his hips instead, if it had been Jaden… oh gods.

Chazz tried to bite back the groan, but somehow it slipped past, and the boy above him laughed – they all did – something about the slut enjoying taking it up the ass…

But he couldn’t hear the jeering almost, since if it was Jaden he wouldn’t sound like these grunting pigs… no he’d sound… like he did last night.

Chazz shivered remembering that soft but so loud cry of pleasure when he gripped him – and Chazz’s body shuddered in heat, still aware of the mass of flesh sliding in and out of him – but it was Jaden’s… if it was Jaden’s…

“Jaden…”

Chazz started at his own whisper, a barely moan, but surely they hadn’t heard that – the boys stopped and laughed and jeered – and Chazz bit back the frustration and rage, with himself, and these pigs.

How could he have let that slip out?! Why wouldn’t these guys just shut up!! Take what they came for and shut up?!!

“Jaden? That slifer you’re always with?”

“Hah! The slut’s new boytoy?”

“Yeah? You let him fuck you just like this? Or are you the one fucking him?”

Fucking Jaden?!! Chazz felt hot fury, and he lurched away from the bastard previously pounding his backside – it hurt vaguely when he turned and the member ripped from him – but from the yell it hurt the pig more.

“You fucking retarded Neanderthals!” Chazz cursed, as much menace and hate into his tone as possible, the effect of rage was ruined by the previous activity and his state of nakedness, “I am not fucking Jaden!”

“You fucking slut!” the other boy snarled his hand lashing out and striking Chazz across the face – the others laughing or scowling or jeering, “That fucking hurt! Now you’re going to get it! Help me hold him!”

Then they’re hands were everywhere and his face was held to the ground, his arms and legs immobilized, bent to offer his already abused backside – and then the youth struck again, and Chazz started and cringed – but refused to cry out as the palm slapped hard over his backside – once, twice… six times.

“Now you fucking behave! You god damn slut!”

He hated it, and rage burned in his fiercer, but struggling was useless with three holding him down, a fourth pressing his hard length inside him again. The lube had dried up at the start but from that point on, seed had kept him wet enough for a pounding after pounding.

Chazz nearly cried out, as he was shoved into again and again, more forcefully, more painfully. Hands gripping tighter and nails biting skin.

Chazz counted down their turns, until they finally shifted and released – seed spilled inside him four more times for each of the pigs present. Before they finally stood up and he chose to remain on the floor a bit longer, if it was finally over he would not provoke another round.

“Damn stupid slut!”

They finally left and Chazz was late for class now. He’d have to skin anyway to get cleaned up. Jaden might ask where he was, he’d have to lie, say he got caught up at the library and didn’t hear the bell or something.

He sat up and winced at his sore backside – he hadn’t felt that sore since the first few times that Sartorius had entered him. This would be a pain, he’d have to think of an excuse for that too, Chazz cursed to himself and went to find his scattered clothes.

He felt the bruise still on his face – he’d have to find another excuse for that. He cursed again – they were becoming increasingly rough and now violent as well. Shit. But he breathed, and soon enough he held a semblance of calm.

Because it was fine, as long as Jaden never found out about this, about any of it. Then it was fine.

By the time Chazz was dressed and presentable with a number of excuses for skipping class, and his limp and bruise it was late enough that Jaden would already be back at the dorm, so that was where the pale youth was headed when he saw the boat pulling up to the duel academy’s port and dock.

Chazz paused only briefly, but he knew enough when he saw the passengers unload the schooner – Sartorius was finally back.

Chazz should have felt relieved.

---

Review.