The New Girl - Perfection has Landed!

Phantom: God... there is even a grammar mistake in the title of this damn chapter -_-

Lori: No shit. I really would like to find out how old this girl is...

Bakura: How can you call this no-brained slut a 'girl', may I ask?

Phantom: e_e you have a point.... But anyway, I just want to point out something to one of our reviewers... Yume no Kareta... This story is NOT ours. So believe me when I say that all those mistakes are the works of another (rather crappy) authoress who lacks spelling and grammar knowledge as well as an imagination XD I was going to take journalism myself at one point, but decided to do law instead. If there's one thing I can't STAND, it's bad spelling and grammar, and a lack of detail in a story. Our comments are there only to nitpick and take the piss out of this horribly written piece XD Thanks though, for thinking that our comments are hilarious, we appreciate it!

Kaiba: Hmm... you can lecture almost as well as I can.

Phantom: *anime falls* X_x that was not my intention...

Lori: *sewing new authoress voodoo plushie* ....

Phantom: o_O can anyone say "Let the torture begin"?

**~***~**

The New Girl

Sakura: Yes! I'm back! Back with more Seto torture! MWA HA HA HA!

Kaiba: At least she got ONE thing right -____-

Ryou: I don't see MY name in there! Couldn't this bimbo have picked ANYONE but me to "like"?!

Phantom: No. Because you're the hottest on the show.

Malik: >.>

Phantom: After Malik, of course ^______^ *squishies*

Lori: *rolls eyes*

Chapter 5

(A/N: Once again...Seto will talk in italics)

Phantom: Or rather, he will talk without his sentences being inside quotes.

Listen Kodasawa, you wanted me to call when I got an attitude change. I have. Happy?

"No. Meet me at the Dark Mystic now. Ok. Ja ne." Sakura hung up.

Hey! Wait! Whatever. Ja ne.

Lori: Who honestly says that on the phone? WHO? >.< *finds baseball bat and smashes something*

Sakura left for the Mystic Cafe.

Jou: Thank you for stating the obvious.

Sakura found she arrived first at the cafe. This didn't bug her at all. It meant that she could choose the table. Sakura chose the table nearst to the stain glass window. Cala and Caru came in next, joining Sakura.

Lori: *clears throat* For our first lesson in grammar, let us begin with the very basic things that even a THREE year old would know. It's not "Sakura found she arrived first..." it's "Sakura found she HAD arrived first..."

Phantom: And it's "stained" glass window.... not "stain" glass window.

Lori: "Stain" glass window makes it sound like a bird took a giant shit on it and nobody bothered to clean it off...

Phantom: XD

"What'll you be having?" a young red headed waitress asked.

"What have you got for a snack/meal?" Sakura asked without looking at the waitress.

Phantom: Japan isn't a country where it's considered offensive to maintain eye contact.... show off.

Ryou: Lazy ass bitch -_- you don't put a "/" in a sentence. Just typing in the word "or" is a lot more proper.

"Well, there is the special. It consists of a assorted sandwich and ice tea."

"I'll have that," Sakura looked at Caru and Cala, "What will you guys be having?"

"I'll have a herble tea and a ghost bust doughnut. My twin sister here will have an apple juice and fruit salad," Calu said.

Lori: ......1. some one just shoot that waitress and spare her the wrath of the dreaded Mary Sue...2. that's AN. "Of AN assorted sandwich", damn it!....3. Ok, Mary bitch and fucktard, no one gives a damn if you're a two headed alien blowup sex doll, stop showing off. And she obviously has a voice, shouldn't she be ordering for her self?

Phantom: And who the hell is “Calu”? That’s like a mix between Cala and Caru… Oh, and it’s “herbal” not “herble”.

"Okay, your orders will be here soon," the waitress went into the kitchen.

"I wanted to say arigatou but she left too quickly," Sakura sighed.

"You can tell her when she gets back," Cala replied.

Phantom: O.O *chokes on dinner and gags* And I thought Jesse McCartney was corny... This is starting to sound like "Sakura" is actually a Japanese version of Barbie. The perfect image of a teenage girl that has everything.... and is too "nice" for her own good.

Malik: I NEVER want to hear you say that she's "nice" EVER again.

"Hey! How come you ordered for me?" Caru asked in agitated voice.

"We don't need you on a sugar high that's the reason I ordered for you."

"Hello Seto."

"How did you know I was behind you?" Seto asked, a small grin forming on his normally dormant face.

"I could feel your breath on my neck," Sakura replied, "Now sit down and you can order something when the waitress comes back." Seto took a seat next to Sakura.

Phantom: WTF? How tall IS Kaiba anyway? If Sakura is sitting down, and Kaiba is STANDING behind her, yet she can still feel his breath on the back of her neck.... *rolls eyes* Think before you leap, dear.

Lori: =______= Oh, that's JUST like a Mary Sue to show off her "perfect" Japanese, and know EXACTLY when some one's coming up behind her. And Geeze, quit with the damn sugar bullshit, it's really, REALLY retarded. 10 year olds get sugar high....then again, that's probably what you are....

"Hey! Sakura! Over here!" Yugi called out stepping in and waving. Sakura smiled and waved back.

Phantom: Okay, like when the HELL did Yuugi oh-so-randomly get brought into this?

"Cala. Caru." Yami said and took a seat.

"Hello my pharoah," Cala replied and bowed. She pushed Caru's head down to show respect.

Lori: "Yugi: Heeeey! Dumb bitch! Over here! *whips his dick out* This is what you'll never have!" "Cala: heeeheeehee.....hell yeah bitch, get your head down there!"

Yuugi: O_o I wouldn't let that disgusting filth near my crown jewels!! *covers crotch*

Malik: Oh Yuugi. Tsk, tsk. You'd do ANYTHING to get laid, admit it.

Kaiba: XD I doubt if he's ever BEEN laid.

Phantom: Enough talk about virgins, it's making me feel queasy.

"There is no need for that in this era," Yami replied with a small grin, "What's he doing here?"

What should I tell them. I don't want to embaress Kaiba. I know. Sakura cleared her throat, "I called him to meet me here. Told him it was important."

"I see." Yami seemed satisfied.

Sakura. You know that was an out right lie!

Yeah. I know Cala. But I didn't want to embaress Seto.

Very well.

"Where is Yuri?" Sakura asked curiously, looking around.

"She went to look for Ryou. Wanted to talk to him about that Millennium Ring of his and ask him out on a dat-" Yugi covered his mouth.

"Date?" Sakura asked sounding a bit disapointed.

"Yeah," Yugi replied. He could tell Sakura liked Ryou.

"Hello Sakura. Yugi." Sakura and Yugi shuddered at the voice. A man in a hood stood before them.

Phantom: *rolls eyes* Again, random characters popping up everywhere... with no originality or creativity involved. WHATSOEVER.

Ryou: For the last time, I'm gay! *grabs onto Bakura's crotch* This is mine! This is what gets my damn sexy British rocks off! *foams at the mouth*

Bakura: @.@ hell yeah...

"Stay away Drake!" Cala hissed.

"I just came to tell you that you might want to watch out. Wouldn't want anything to happen. Oh and there's a new ring in the museum." Drake left the cafe, the word ring kept repeating itself in Sakura's mind.

Lori: *whispers in Sakura's ear* Ring....Ring...Ring....Penis... Ring...

"What did he mean by that?" Caru asked.

"I don't know. Seto Kaiba, you wanted to know why I wanted you to come here?" Sakura sighed, "Okay. Long ago, the ancient pharoah and high priest before you two wanted a millennium item created. One which could be used as a weapon to protect the reigning pharoah. So-"

Kaiba: No, I don't want to know. I've got a company to run and a log to flog, stop wasting my precious time.

"We were trained to guard the pharoah using the Millennium Cross Bow. In the end, when the pharoah got sucked in to the Millennium Puzzle, just before that I should say. We were sacrificed and drained of our soul. Our souls wound up in this item." Cala took a breather, "It was no ordinary weapon. It had great magical properties and was buried with Pharoah Yami's body."

Otogi: W00t, my first line! It's "Pharaoh". And that whole story made no sense.

"My father found it on one of his digs and sent it to me. I, being a champion to this point, in my archery class, learned to weild it quickly. I was in a tight spot when Cala and Caru came to help me. Ever since then, Cala and Caru have been looking for the ancient pharoah. As my kaasan moved us all around we could find head nor hair of Yugi, even though we didn't know who he was yet." Sakura stopped talking when the waitress came, gave them their order and to take the other orders down and walked away. "Anyway, back to the past. Priest Seth wanted to make sure Pharoah Yami would be safe. Cala and Caru gave up their souls and, you already know the rest."

"Again we these ancient fairy tales. Listen, I am not this ancient priest. I am just Seto Kaiba." Seto tapped his foot in annoyance. Why do these damn ancient fairy tales keep haunting me?

Lori: Oh, so she's a champion archer now, too? Wow...I'm so surprised...not. And if you didn't know who he was yet, why were you looking for him...?

Phantom: And it's only in your fucked up little imagination that these "ancient fairy tales" keep "haunting" Kaiba, Sakura -____- He really doesn't give a shit.

Kaiba: Damn straight!

"Seto. My priest. You must accept your past sooner or later."

"Listen, Cala-"

"It's Caru."

"Yes well, whatever your name is. I don't give a damn about these fake stories. Just cut to the chase."

"You baka!" Sakura snapped, "Don't get either of them angry. You don't know what they can do. The issue at hand is 'him'."

"Does this 'him' have a name?" Seto asked interupting Sakura.

"Yes. And if you interupt me again I'll have to kill you. His name is Aroga. Drake there was a servent of his. Aroga says he's after me and Yugi, but I don't know..." Sakura sighed and took a sip of ice tea. What did Drake mean by ring? Oh my gosh! "I gotta go! "Seto, could you get the tab! I just remember something I gotta do!" Sakura ran out of the doors.

Kaiba: *bitch slaps Sakura* Kill...ME? Chyeah. Right.

Lori: Oooh...."him"....iIm REALLY scared of some nameless pussy...

Phantom: That's "interrupt", and...don't make me get Seto to bitch slap your ass again, ho!

Lori: It's "iced" tea. Just like it's "stained" instead of "stain". And... this "Drake" obviously meant a cock ring, right?

Ryou & Bakura: XD

Phantom: O_o eww..

"WAIT UP!" Yugi ran after her followed by Yami, Caru and Cala.

"Hey! I'm not paying this!" Seto yelled. In the end, Seto did pay.

Seto: What the fuck?! I am SETO KAIBA! If I want freebies, I get freebies! *sigh* Bitch authoresses always after my money...

Cala? Can you sense the Millennium Ring?

Phantom: "Cala? Can you sense the cock ring?"

Sakura. What's wrong? By now, the darker sides had returned to the bodies they came from.

Lori: *blink...blink...*.....Sakura, what? Just "Sakura."? Never heard of commas, pet?

When Drake mentioned the ring in the museum I didn't realize until just now that he was hinting that Aroga is going to go after Ryou Bakura!

Lori: Awww....he goes after your dream guy, and you have to save him...precious.

Ryou: *in the corner jerking off to gay porn* Sorry, what?

Why didn't I realize? Caru and Cala mentally hit themselves.

Hurry, it's just to the left and down that alley. Sakura rushed down the alley to find Ryou down for the count and Ryou's yami, Bakura in the middle of fighting Drake.


**~***~**

Phantom: FINALLY over... Gods, there is nothing worse than having to endure this CRAP.

Lori: But if we don't do it, no one else will because they are pussies who don't want to put down others' work.... NEEAHAHAHAHA!!

Malik: Gee, like, what total bitches! *mock limp wrist*

Phantom: Gods, I saw thee BIGGEST Queen I've ever seen in my life yesterday -_- I actually had to convince myself that he wasn't a woman... he was even carrying a Louis Vuitton handbag!

Lori: *gags* Being gay is one thing, but acting like a woman just isn't sexy...

Jou: And I just ate. Can we end this now?

Kaiba: Please. For the sake of our sanity.

Lori + Phantom: Ja ne everyone! ^_^ *run off naked stabbing random voodoo plushies*