Affectionate Thoughts In A Disturbed Mind

Disclaimer – I still don’t own them. I’m not making money off of writing this, although I probably should because I’m going to need a psychologist by the time I’m done. Too much time spent in the Tomb Robber’s head.

Author’s Notes – I am EVER so sorry for taking so long with this chapter. An authoress friend of mine handed me a very rabid, very nasty little plot bunny who simply refuses to remove it’s teeth from my ankle. But, I’ve finally gotten another chapter done . . . sleep deprived and high on coffee, but done. So, enjoy . . . and please review. Make it worthwhile for me to deprive myself, would ya?

Chapter 5 –


I don’t think I’ve ever been this wary of meeting someone in my life. Drag me before the Pharaoh, and I’ll simply spit in his face. Put me up against Kaiba, and I’ll happily draw a knife. Ryou’s father . . . and I’m a nervous wreck. This . . . sucks.

How the hell did he talk me into this? Oh wait, I know how . . . by using those damn eyes of his. Gods, those things should be illegal. Him and the Pharaoh’s brat both . . . what ever did I do to deserve this? You know, for once I think I can actually sympathize with the Pharaoh. At least Ryou doesn’t use them on me that often.

Wait a second . . . I can sympathize with the Pharaoh!? No way in hell! I have absolutely nothing in common with that stubborn, spoiled, egotistical, spiky-haired jackass! Absolutely no way in all the nine hells of Anubis!

No, Ryou, I will not sit still! This is nuts! Can’t I just go back in the Ring until he’s gone?! What the hell are you going to tell him . . . oh, hi Dad, by the way, this is the spirit that was living inside that Ring you gave me so long ago? Yeah, right. You ever heard of a psycho ward? I have, and I’m not even really familiar with this era of yours.

Okay, since when did he manage to force me to do anything? Being shoved into a chair at the kitchen table doesn’t exactly count but . . . hey! What the fuck!? Oh no . . . don’t even think about it! Ryou, if you come near me with that brush . . .

OW! Damn it, what the hell are you doing?! Purposefully trying to make me bald!? That HURT! I am NOT being a baby . . . what? Oh hell, I don’t know when the last time I brushed my hair out is. I don’t bother with shit like that . . . OW! Fucking . . . okay, Anubis himself couldn’t come up with a worse torture than this. I will not lash out . . . I will not lash out . . . damn it, I don’t take pain well, and this hurts! Yes, I like dealing pain, but that’s a whole other story! Dealing it is very different from taking it!

You’re done? That was fast . . . great Ra, how much of my hair is left in my head? Because it looks like most of it is in that torture device people call a brush. Oh, stop laughing at me, or I might be tempted to make you swallow your tongue. Fuck, who am I kidding? I like hearing him laugh . . . he hasn’t done it in far too long. So glad he finds me so damn amusing. There goes my reputation.

The sound of a car pulling into the driveway. Stay here? Where the hell else am I going to go? Well, there is the Ring . . . and the backdoor . . . okay, he’s giving me that look again, like he knows what’s going through my head. Damn it, when did he get so good at that?

Fine, I’ll sit here . . . but don’t expect me to behave. What? You made me promise to meet him, you said nothing about being on good behavior! Oh, somebody shoot me . . . there’s those puppy eyes again. Alright, I give, I’ll be nice! Or as nice as I can be when I feel like I’m about to go before a hangman’s noose.

This love thing really bites one in the ass. It does have its benefits though . . . although none of those can be mentioned in polite company. Okay, I have this urge to fiddle with my knife . . . wouldn’t that be a great first impression on the man who is my hikari’s father? I think I’ll just sit on my hands now . . . because they are slowly creeping their way back to the sheath tucked into the back of my jeans with a mind of their own.

The murmur of voices in the hallway, Ryou telling his father he has someone he wants him to meet. Footsteps . . . I’m not going to bolt, so help me Ra I am not going to run out of this room like some coward. But I really, really want to right now. I am so not in the correct mental state for shit like this. Hell, I’m never in a correct mental state anyway, so what am I worried about?

Dead silence suddenly. Meeting the very wide, very astonished gaze of a sable haired, goatee carrying man who looks nothing like my hikari . . . or me. Gee, and I thought the mutt looked dumb with his mouth hanging open like that.

Ryou carrying out introductions . . . what am I supposed to do? I know I should stand up . . . but then do I shake his hand? Gods, this shit with social niceties just isn’t my thing . . . Ryou, I really should murder you for this. If it weren’t for the fact that I love you so desperately, I might actually consider it at this point.

Well, at least he looks as confused as I feel. That’s a bonus . . . at least I’m not the only one with no idea what to do. And he even grew up in this era.

Where did I come from? Ummm . . . Ryou, a little help here! Don’t smile at me, damnit! Help me!

Oh, is this going to be a long day . . . can I just skip it? No . . . okay, than somebody call the Pharaoh and get him over here . . . maybe this time I can successfully talk him into killing me.


*-------*-------*-------*-------*


Well, that wasn’t nearly as bad as I had thought it would be. A few tricks, disappear into the Ring and reappear under his nose, and he’s convinced. Now, if I could just be sure that’s a good thing.

Sitting here answering questions about my past is not exactly something I enjoy doing. I’ve spoken more about my life three thousand years ago than I’ve ever done in my entire existence. The bonus is, he knows about the Pharaoh. Yami’s going to be in for an even worse session than me . . . oh, the little joys in life that make it all worthwhile. Now, I wonder if the Pharaoh had to go through this with that old man? That’s a pleasant thought . . . I can just picture him squirming now. I feel so much better now.

Ryou’s giving me that look again . . . oh. It must be the smile. I can’t help it . . . just imagining the Pharaoh sitting at the kitchen table of his hikari’s home, being pelted with questions that he can’t answer because he doesn’t remember a damn bit of it . . . so it brings a rather sadistic smirk to my face. The little things, remember?

Oh . . . now I get to watch Ryou squirm. Good . . . about time he got involved in this somewhat. Ryou’s father isn’t dumb, I’ll give him that much. He’s noticed there’s something between us beside friendship. And it only took five hours . . . that’s impressive. Not bad, for a mortal. Well, Ryou could explain it off as the yami/hikari relationship . . . which he is trying. Too bad he’s never been good at lying. We’ll have to work on that.

No, I’m not answering that question, Ryou. It’s all yours.

Honestly, I don’t think I could answer it. I don’t know where we stand now. I can’t answer my own questions, much less his father’s. I still can’t understand how he could forgive me so easily, how he could have come to love me. Me, of all people! I could understand loving Yugi . . . even if he is the Pharaoh’s hikari, the kid’s a lovable little shit. Like Ryou, far too innocent and forgiving for his own good. I mean, come on . . . he forgave Marik, and Marik tortured the hell out of him and his friends. Okay, so that blonde idiot was a bit misguided at the time . . . still. There are only so many lines you can cross, and Marik crossed every single one of them. Yet still, Yugi forgave him. It’s either complete innocence, or complete ignorance. I can’t tell which.

Thinking of which, I wonder what the Pharaoh’s going to do about his own issues with loving his hikari. I hope he goes through as much hell as I am. Yami is no innocent . . . far from it. Does Yugi even know about the things Yami did for him when he first awakened from his three thousand year entrapment? Before they became partners and friends? Now wouldn’t that have been an interesting conversation to listen in on, if it’s even occurred yet. I might have to inquire about that . . . I see whole worlds of amusing and uncomfortable situations arising for the Pharaoh in that one.

Look down on me, will he? He’s no angel . . . I may trap people in the Shadow Realm from time to time, and I certainly do kill them, but at least I’ve never hidden that fact. I wonder what the others would think if they knew that spike-haired idiot’s killed people too . . . not to mention the number of mortal moron’s he’s driven insane.

Of course, this is Yugi we’re talking about. He’d probably forgive him . . . but not before putting him through hell first. I was there at Duelist Kingdom, after all. I got to witness their first little spat over Yami’s willingness to sacrifice others to protect Yugi.
Hmm . . . I’m plotting mayhem again. Maybe I haven’t gone as far off the deep end as I thought.

Okay, now both of them are looking at me strangely. I’ve either been silent too long, or my grin is too big and bloodthirsty to be called natural. Yep, must be the grin. Ryou looks worried . . . he’s probably wondering what I’m planning on doing to his father. Bah, he worries too much sometimes. I won’t do anything to his father . . . the man may be irritating, but he’s the only family my hikari has left. I won’t hurt Ryou like that.

Oh, looks like the question and answer session is over. I wonder what was said . . . well, that’s what I get for plotting against the Pharaoh in the middle of an important discussion. I can’t help it . . . it’s far too much fun to annoy that uptight bastard.

Ryou’s giving me ‘the look’ again. Now I’m nervous . . . what’s he going to ask for this time? So help me, if he asks me to make nice with the Pharaoh, I’m going in the Ring. I’d rather be locked away in there until the end of this world than be friends with that ass. Same goes for those other morons he calls friends. Nothing more than a pack of cheerleaders, if you ask me. And annoying ones at that.

Not that the Pharaoh needs cheerleaders. I’ll be the first to admit that he’s formidable . . . I’m here, aren’t I? Takes a hell of a lot of power to trap the King of Thieves. I wonder if they think they make any difference in the outcome of his battles? It’d be funny for them to find out that he does just as well without them as with them. Probably better, actually . . . nowhere near as many distractions when they aren’t shouting encouragement. I wonder how many times he’s held off sending them to the Shadow Realm for the chance at a moment’s peace?

Hmm . . . I might actually have to lower myself to ask him.

Okay, back to the matter at hand . . . that look. What? Did I say something wrong? Oh . . . well, I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention, Ryou, but I did warn you that I’m not a people person. And I could care less what he thinks of me . . . it’s only you that matters.

I have spewed sap again. I really must stop this from becoming a habit.

You made a date with the friendship squad!? Oh no, I’m not going . . . oh hell no! There is no way in all the nine hells that you are going to get me to voluntarily spend time with those twits. Absolutely not.

That look is not going to work . . . I swear it’s not. I can ignore him, I really can . . . oh hell. He’s added cuddling. Fuck.

Yep, there is some god up there somewhere who is bent on making my life both completely enjoyable and utterly miserable. We’re going to the arcade to spend some time with Yugi and company.

Did I mention I’d rather be in the Ring?