Submission

Chapter 5

Sheer exhaustion had driven Yami’s mind into slumber, his eyelids becoming heavy and his body falling lax in the soft comfort of the bed. His final thought before he finally succumbed to sleep was the realization that he wouldn’t be able to conceal what had transpired so many weeks ago for much longer. He wasn’t entirely sure what he felt about that; fear of rejection or of the shame the others might feel towards him. Or perhaps he just felt relieved to have the end of all these secrets and lies in sight.

****

“What do you mean ‘I’m here to help’? You’ve never helped anyone in your life and I’ll be damned if I let you anywhere near Yami right now,” Joey shouted across the table, Bakura standing unflinching under the verbal onslaught.

“I’m going to help him in a way that you cannot; I’m going to drag him out of this web of self-pity he has trapped himself in. I don’t know what exactly has happened to send him down this path of self-destruction but I recognize the symptoms when I see them. And I won’t allow it to continue,” Bakura responded sharply, his eyes unblinking and his expression set.

“Why do you want to help at all?” Yugi asked from behind him, voicing the question that was on both his own and Joey’s mind, although he said it a lot more politely than the other would have.

Bakura turned on him but, to Yugi’s surprise, his expression softened. Marginally. “I don’t like seeing my adversaries weakened by another’s hand. It takes less to break them after they have been damaged and that just ruins my fun.”

Yugi didn’t quite know what to make of that. He couldn’t tell if the Tomb Robber was lying, playing with his mind or genuinely wanted to help. Still, Yami was asleep now, the mental block weakening as a result, and he didn’t want him to be disturbed.

“Bakura, you can’t see him just yet. He’s asleep and I don’t want anyone waking him up.”

The teen snorted at that, cocking a brow at him. “Who said I was going to wake him?” Then he snapped out a hand and curled his fingers around the cool surface of the Millennium Puzzle. There was a flash of light as both the other occupants of the room shouted at him but he was already gone. Left in his place was a rather confused looking Ryou, his hand moving to the Millennium Ring when he felt the emptiness there.
*
*

A soul room was a soul room in any of the Millennium Items. Getting into one that wasn’t your own just took a little brute force on the intruder’s part to gain entry. The Millennium Puzzle undoubtedly contained the most fortified soul room of all the Items, but with Yami’s damaged mental state gaining entry wasn’t too difficult.

Stepping into the dim space though, Bakura sincerely wished that it had been. He had seen and done a lot of distasteful things in his past life but what surrounded him now was truly appalling. Evidently Yami’s mind was obsessing over a few choice memories, the scenes from which were being played over and over on imaginary ‘screens’ and the sounds that accompanied them echoing around the room as if through speakers.

Walking past the multiple memories he stood infront one of the larger ‘screens’ and watched the event run its course, glancing around him when it began to repeat itself and finding that all the other ‘screens’ were showing different aspects of the same memory.

Shuddering despite himself as the howls of misery, anguish and pain intensified around him, Bakura decided that he had had enough of this and concentrated on moving back into the Ring, transporting his essence out of this place and back to his own Hikari. He didn’t entirely know why he cared; perhaps some shred of humanity had survived within him over all these centuries. The urge to help though, had just become stronger.

Forcing Ryou into his soul room he retook possession of their body and blinked a few times to clear the disorientation. Yugi and Joey were watching him warily, obviously unsure of what he was going to do next. The smaller of the pair had put his hands around the Puzzle hanging against his chest, obviously trying to sense if he had done any damage whilst in there.

“What did you just do?” Yugi asked his violet eyes narrowing, obviously sensing some of the damage his forced entry had done to the magical seals in the Item.

“I had a look around, curious as I was. Now I’m going to pay the Pharaoh a visit,” he replied as he turned his back on them and started to walk into the hallway. A small hand on his elbow made his stop with a warning growl though.

“Leave him alone. He doesn’t need you bothering him,” Yugi stated as he looked up at him, his face holding a courage that Bakura had never seen on his features before. Not against him anyway.

“You can sense his physical state as Ryou can mine?” Bakura asked resisting the urge to thump the little one. At the nod he continued, “Then you have no need to worry about his safety. I wish only to speak to him.”

Joey had started to come around Yugi to protest in his own way but Yugi held out a hand to him, releasing his grip on the Tomb Raider and regarding him with curious eyes.

He had no idea why but he absolute trusted that Bakura wouldn’t do anything to his yami. It seemed insane, even to him, but he could sense the vaguely good intentions of the other, possibly as a side-effect of having him inside the Puzzle for a time.

Stalking up the flight of stairs Bakura needed no aid in finding the room which Yami currently occupied. Opening the door without hesitation he stepped into the dim, glancing around before moving to the side of the bed. Sweeping the pile of wet clothing aside with the side of his boot, he raked his eyes down the form covered by the thin sheets.

Yami was led on his stomach, one arm trapped beneath the pillow under his head and the other fisted by his face. It was only a light sleep, his breathing strong and regular as he drifted through whatever was playing in his mind now.

Shoving aside a few of the dark bangs splayed over the tanned shoulder Bakura cocked a brow at the angry scar there, the wound obviously having been made fairly recently for it was raised from the flesh. His mind flickering back to the images he had seen in the Puzzle, Bakura identified it as the bite-mark the other had inflicted on the lithe body.

Curious to see if the wounds he had seen inflicted to Yami’s back had scarred, he decided to wait until he had inspected what was visible above the sheet covering most of the body. Being careful not to touch or breath onto his skin knowing that it would awaken him, Bakura twisted his head so he could see the underside of the forearm that was visible, the paler flesh directed inwards.

Shaking his head slightly when he noted several, diagonal slash marks running up the length Bakura straightened and scrubbed a hand through his hair. He could also see a fainter mark running all the way about Yami’s visible wrist, thicker on the underside where the bindings had pulled tight.

Carefully taking the top of the sheet now he pulled it down to the small of his back so that his shoulders and spine were exposed. The bruises were gone, which was no real surprise as they had been inflicted some time ago. The scratches hadn’t scarred so there was no damage to see on the newly exposed flesh. His assessment done now, Bakura decided to awaken the Game King.

Curling his finger against his thumb, he flicked the extremity hard against Yami’s cheekbone and watched with satisfaction as he jolted awake, his eyes going wide and his entire body jerking back from the perceived threat. After a moment he seemed to collect himself, his face changing from fearful to angry. “What in the Seven Hells are you doing here?” he demanded loudly, shifting his weight onto his side and holding the sheet to him as he watched the mirthful Tomb Raider.

“Just making sure that you don’t do something stupid like kill yourself,” Bakura replied lightly, surprising Yami further by taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “Did he come back? Is that what sent you over the bleedin’ falls?”

‘This is getting creepy now.’ Nodding without realizing he was doing it, Yami asked in completely bewilderment, “what-how-?”

“How do I know what’s going on? I heard that you snapped over the phone, came over and took a tour of your Puzzle and then inspected you myself. Every other one of your pitiful ‘friends’ is either too stupid or too incompetent to notice. Well, aside from Wheeler but I think you had to tell him to have him put two and two together.”

Yami just shook his head slightly in bewilderment. ‘What the hell is he doing here? Why does he care? Why is he bothering with me at all?’ “What do you care about my state-of-being, Tomb Raider? I believed you to despise me,” he asked sharply, pleased to feel some strength in the words even if he did not feel it in himself.

Bakura tipped his head slightly, his eyes going distant as if he sought for the answer to that question himself. “I think that, it’s because I believe that assaulting someone in this manner is something that even I cannot wish on an enemy.”

“How considerate of you. Now leave me in peace,” Yami muttered, quickly growing tired of his presence. He had no idea of what else he could possibly have to say, and so far his words were only serving to twist his mind even further.

“I understand you know,” Bakura continued despite the other’s exasperation. “More than most actually as I have been on both sides of this equation. When I was on the receiving end however I saw it for what it was.”

“And now you’re going to use your expertise to help me, correct?” the tri-haired teen growled out, the sheer audacity of the other granting him strength to move past him and rise to his feet, the sheet being pulled about his waist to cover him. Crimson eyes bore down on the unruffled spirit, daring him to continue his line of speech.

“Actually,” Bakura began as he rose to his own feet. “I’d rather just tell you to stop opening your arms like that and then get an address from you. For the one who gave you this if you aren’t following what I mean,” he added sarcastically, prodding the bite-scar on Yami’s shoulder firmly.

Recoiling from the contact, Yami brought his eyes up from where they had instinctively dropped to the floor, something that he still hadn’t overcome. “No. I do not and indeed never have wanted your help. Aid me by leaving and not speaking of this again.”

Scowling now, Bakura stepped around Yami and headed towards the closed door, pausing in the doorway on the barrier between the dark room and the light hallway. “You’re going to have to tell them you know. As sick and painful as it will be for you to relive it, you will have to tell them. I’ve seen it for myself so I’ll spare myself by leaving, but I hope you take my advice to heart this one time by not slashing deep.”

His back to him, Yami snorted lightly. “Since when have I ever listened to you?”

“Since I started telling you not to take your own life,” came the smooth reply before the door was shut, the room plunging into darkness once more.

Yami rose a hand to his head, an ache forming there likely from Bakura tying his brain up in knots. ‘What was all that about?’. Glancing at the stripped bed he knew that he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep now. Clenching his eyes shut, he decided that now was the time to tell. To tell Yugi that he had handed himself over like a peace of meat and then refused. To tell him how he had nearly left him in the hands of that monstrosity. But most importantly to tell him that he was back, and likely hunting him down again.

****

Yugi looked up expectantly when he heard footsteps, not quite sure whether he felt dismayed or relieved when Bakura walked in and straight past him, obviously intending to leave immediately. He stopped with his hand reaching out to the door, his face twisting with effort as he tried to continue the movement but found himself prevented by a force from inside of him.

Growling out a sigh he dropped his hand to his side and his features shifted, Ryou taking over their body after insisting forcefully, something that he had never done before. Shaking himself slightly, the soft-spoken boy turned to face the two teens who were back at the table, eyes watching him intently to see if this was some kind of trick.

Moving to the spare chair on the other side of the table, Ryou sat down and folded his hands on the worn wooden surface before bringing chocolate brown eyes up to meet blue and violet ones. “He didn’t do anything to Yami, in fact I think that he was trying hard to help him.”

“Why though?” Yugi asked, still at a loss as to what exactly Bakura was supposedly trying to help Yami with. It terrified him; obviously something significant had happened and he, his Dark’s Light, had no idea what it was. He felt helpless and lost, surrounded by people who shouldn’t have had that knowledge instead of him and yet did.

In response to the question Ryou dropped his eyes and contemplated his fingers, checking internally to see how much he was permitted to disclose. When he got a response along the lines of ‘I don’t give a shit’ from his yami, he brought his eyes back into focus and looked at Yugi. Seeing the confusion there he knew that the small boy didn’t know what had happened yet. That restricted what he could say, simply because it was not his right to inform Yugi, even if it was by telling him indirectly. “Bakura wanted to get his own, erm, ‘closure’, by helping your yami.”

“Closure?’ Yugi echoed, his brow puckering as he frowned in yet more confusion.

“You mean this happened to him too?” Joey asked in disbelief. At Ryou’s nod he clenched his eyes shut and ran a hand over his face. He didn’t know whether to feel pity for the Tomb Raider or to feel that he had gotten what he deserved. Rationality pointed out that no-one deserved that, but his thoughtless emotional side almost reveled in the fact that he had been hurt.

After glancing at Yugi again, Ryou opened his mouth to continue but fell quite when he heard quiet footsteps from the hallway. Everyone’s heads turned to the doorway, their faces unmoving when Yami cautiously stepped into the room, his chest bare as he was only clad in a pair of dry trousers that he had dredged up. Yugi made to stand but a hand on his knee stopped him, Joey watching the teen’s movements carefully as he prevented the boy leaving the table.

Sliding into the seat at the head of the table, Yami took in their faces before his gaze fixated on Ryou. Nothing demanding. Nothing pleading. Just a simple request that he likely would only be able to make once. Offering him a small, understanding smile, Ryou stood and left through the door Bakura had headed for previously.

Sighing tiredly and clasping his hands in his lap, crimson eyes met Yugi’s violet ones and Yami opened his mouth to speak only to find that his voice had left him. Closing his mouth and swallowing heavily, his eyes fell half-lidded as he reached into their bond, opening his end fully now and internally shivering at the waveemotemotions that slammed into him from his Hikari.

//Aibou, there’s something I need to tell you.//

Reveling in the feeling of having the bond between them fully open again for a moment, Yugi chose to reply mentally as he rose and took the seat next to Yami, sitting now opposite Joey.

//I know. I know you’ve been hiding it from me for weeks.//

//I have, as much as it pained me to Little Light I left you ignorant. And now I don’t know where to start.//

It was then that Yugi noticed how small Yami looked then, sat at the end of the table isolated in a strange way, barely resisting the urge to curl in on himself under their eyes. He could feel for the first time the fear coming off of his Dark, and after a moment he identified the reason behind that fear. He was afraid of them, and that knowledge hurt him far more than the fact that Yami had been lying to him for weeks.

//Don’t be afraid of us Yami,// he sent, both knowing that he had almost said ‘me’ instead of ‘us’ then. But he knew that something had been established between Joey and Yami that he had yet to learn of or understand, something deep and significant.

Yami’s teeth closed over his bottom lip when he heard that, his link trembling slightly before he responded. //It is not you I fear, Aibou. It is your reaction to what I need to say that I fear.//

//But Joey already knows, doesn’t he?//

//Yes, but I don’t know if he could stand to hear it again. I don’t-//

Yugi snapped back from the link when he heard Yami trail off, noticing that his eyes were shying away from his now, his arms tightening in on himself as he spine started to curl. The shield was going up again.

Before he was aware that he was doing it he was out of the chair, his arms clamping around Yami’s chest and his head tucking itself under his jaw and into his throat. He felt the whipcord muscles running through the body tighten before the arm that was trapped between their bodies jerked free, coming up and pulling him impossibly closer. Smiling slightly that his comfort was being readily accepted Yugi climbed into Yami’s lap, feeling a second arm coming up to complete the embrace. He could feel warm breath on his scalp then; obviously Yami had buried his face in his hair.

“We’re both here for you, you know that,” Joey stated whilst Yami took a moment to recover himself, simply feeling his Hikari’s warmth and the absolute trust that was flowing into him through the bond.

“I know. It’s just hard,” Yami mumbled into Yugi’s hair, his eyes closed and his mind focussing on the breath, heartbeat and warmth of the boy in his lap. Yugi always did have a calming effect on him.

“Take your time,” the blond replied softly, watching the pair with interest. He still couldn’t believe that Yami had come through the last month more or less intact having to keep such a dark thing from his Light.

Nodding, Yami brought his nose out of Yugi’s hair and rested his chin there, applying some force when he attempted to move to face him. He didn’t want to look at him whilst he told him this; he couldn’t.

Frowning at the feeling of Yami restraining his head beneath his jaw, Yugi gave in to him and fell still, trying to show that he trusted his Dark completely. He felt a slight tremble go through the form that held him before Yami started speaking, the vibrations from his throat whispering against his hair and making his words seem louder than the bare voice he was speaking in.

“When you were taken, I didn’t duel Kresha. He wanted something from me,” he began slowly, his arms tightening on the precious creature in his arms. Yugi was safe and he had him in his arms. He was safe. Yugi was grounding him now through this.

Knowing that it was unwise for him to interrupt or prompt Yugi resisted the urge to ask, heeding Joey’s advice to Yami and letting him go at his own pace. The grip on his body was becoming quite constricting now but if it helped he wasn’t going to complain.

“He, he wanted my submission. Completely. He threatened you and I, I consented.”

It took a few seconds for Yugi to absorb that and understand the words completely, but when he did he clung to Yami with as much strength as was being exerted on him. Silent tears were forming and he could feel another tremble through the form that he held and was holding him. He couldn’t understand how Yami had been so selfless as to hand himself over like that. Did he blame him now that he’d had to do it? Did he regret it?

“I’m so sorry Yami,” he whispered brokenly into Yami’s chest, his eyes shutting now as tears slid free.

If there had been no link between them Yami would have taken that as pity from his Aibou, but the swell of guilt and pain through their bond made him see otherwise. Yugi was blaming himself.

Shaking his head negatively over his scalp Yami felt tears escaping now whereas before they had just been prickling at the corners of his eyes. “I don’t regret what I did Aibou. Hell if I had been strong enough to give myself over as selflessly as you think I did I wouldn’t have a problem now.”

“What do you mean?” he blurted before his mind caught up with him, immediately cursing the question once it had left his lips. He was supposed to be letting Yami speak as he could not push him into answering his questions.

Joey remained silent and unmoving from his position across from them. He knew that what came next was the most important thing that Yami had to say. It needed to be said so that he could stop killing himself over it and start forgiving himself. Only Yugi could get him to see that what he did was understandable because he had failed to make him. The other half of his soul had to say in words that he forgave him before Yami could himself.

“I said... I said ‘no’ and left you to him. I endangered you. I was a coward and I put myself over you because I didn’t like what he was doing to me. I stopped protecting you. I endangered you. Ra, he could have...”

His words dissolved then as he started sobbing openly then, his body curling in around Yugi as he held him tighter to him, his face burying itself in his hair as he shook. Joey hesitated only a moment before standing and coming to their side, a warm hand going to Yami’s bare shoulder and his fingers pressing into the flesh firmly to ensure acknowledgement of the gesture.

Yugi sat motionless in shock at the rambled words. He couldn’t believe that Yami believed his own statement, that he was this torn up about the fact that he had tried to protect himself. He understood how seriously his Dark took his role of guardianship but self-preservation was important and it was understandable that Yami had resisted. The only problas gas getting Yami to see that.

“What happened next?” he asked quietly, his voice clear over his Dark’s quite sobs, muscles tight and skin bristling as the mind forced itself through the memories.

Yami was caught off guard by the question. ‘Why is it important what happened next? I failed him. What more is there to say?’

When Yami’s sobs subsided but he offered no answer Yugi asked again and he felt the confusion through the bond.

“I was bound and he continued anyway. Then he left and I brought you home,” Yami said evenly. That had been a lot easier to say than what had come before; it was more fact and less of an admission.

“So he didn’t come for me?” Yugi asked, wanting that fact clarified in his ears as well as Yami’s. Joey smiled, proud and unseen as he caught onto what he was doing.

“No.”

“And I still left safe? I walked home unharmed?”

Yami frowned slightly as his words were turned on him, the knot in his stomach tightening with confusion and then loosening when realization hit.

“It was luck. I still gave up,” he mumbled miserably.

“You protected yourself. If you hadn’t in that situation I’d be even more worried about you. You feel guilty now because you’re a good person and I know that, and so does Joey,” Yugi assured, not entirely sure what Yami needed to hear to make him feel even marginally better. All that was pouring through his end of the bond now was confusion, but when he delved deeper and toomomemoment to explore the torrent of emotions he found something else. A craving, a need, a release from the cage of guilt and self-hate that he had built himself.

Freeing his head from beneath Yami’s with a little force he placed a hand either side of the face that moved to avoid his gaze, forcing crimson eyes going dark onto his own violet. Showing nothing but absolute sincerity he sent the message through their link with a wave of love and trust as well as spoke it.

“I forgive you.”

Yami whole body twitched at those three simple words, that knot giving completely for the first time in weeks as he saw the honesty behind them, the conviction. Another shudder and he brought Yugi back to him, holding him tight as he cried again, a blissful sense of freedom settling over him as the dark shadow was cleared from his soul. Yugi repeated the words like a mantra through the bond, repeating what he needed to hear over and over as his throat failed him and he sobbed against the bare flesh openly.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Yami. I want to help you now, but you have to tell me how because I don’t...” he said when he trusted his voice again.

Yami shushed him, a finger blindly going to his lips to silence him. “You are helping me, probably more than you realize.”

They remained in the embrace for a few minutes before Yami let go, Yugi climbing out of his lap and rubbing at his eyes and cs wis with a sheepish smile. Excusing himself to clean his face he squeezed his Dark’s hand reassuringly before heading out into the bathroom.

Yami remained staring in the direction that his Aibou had scurried off in, not averting his gaze when Joey spoke behind him.

“Feel better?” The words were spoken without hesitation. Joey no longer felt unsure about Yami now; they knew too much about each other for that to be an issue anymore.

“Yes, I do. Thank you for staying with me, us.” There was a pause before Yami spoke again. “He was back again.”

“What?” A more demanding tone now.

“In the shop, this afternoon. That’s why I had another absence. It was too much.”

“He was here? Christ, we need help Yami. You need protecting,” Joey stated coming around the chair and standing before the tri-haired teen who remained seated. There was no fault in his saying ‘we’. They were all involved in this.

“Yes,mi ami admitted softly. “As does my Hikari. We could ask Kaiba; he has the means.”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

Kneeling at his feet now Joey reached out and softly touched Yami’s elbow, the fore-arm turning over without further incentive, an open action done out of choice with free will.

“You’ve been doing your arms again,” he noted out loud, keeping the note of disappointment that he hadn’t stopped out of his voice. Yami would pounce on such a tone very quickly and negatively.

“Yes, but I’m getting better. Now that I’ve told Yugi I will get better.”

Conviction was clear in those words, something which Joey was pleased to hear. Yami didn’t just have confidence that he would start recovering properly now that he had heard the words he so desperately needed to hear from Yugi, but he would also force himself to recover if by some chance it wasn’t enough.

“Will you stay?” Yami asked softly, gaze shifting now to rest on Joey’s face.

“As long as you need me.”

****

They had let Yami have the bed to himself without objection, more of an unspoken agreement actually. Physical contact was something he was going to shy away from again for a little while so Joey slept directly next to the bed on the floor and Yugi rested beside him.

A whimper and a twitch in the material hanging above his face brought Joey out of his slumber. His mind and body had become accustomed to sleeping lightly when yami had stayed with him should he have need of him; apparently the reflex caused by his presence remained.

Standing up in the darkness and looking down at the figure, it was obvious that Yami was in the clutches of a nightmare, undoubtedly caused by his retelling of events just a few scant hours ago. Wanting to spare him this suffering, he lent over him and rubbed his hands firmly and metcallcally up and down Yami’s arms trying to rouse him gently, knowing that to wake him abruptly would only frighten him further.

Receiving absolutely no reaction to his movements, Joey decided that more tactile contact would be needed, something that would draw Yami’s body out so that his mind could easily follow. Without really considering his actions, he braced a hand on the mattress the other side of the Game King and crushed his mouth onto the other teen’s.

His did not open his mouth at all; it was Yami who parted his lips and ran his tongue over his, seeking entry. Admitting him instantly, Joey was cautious to respond but slowly sank into it as the kiss deepened. He absolutely did not want to make Yami uncomfortable by starting and then forcing something that the other didn’t want.

But when Yami’s hands came up to him one to the back of his neck and the other to his shoulder, the kiss became more desperate and Joey did nothing more than respond with as much vigor. Meeting every movement, he did not pull away when the fingers dug hard into his flesh.

After a few seconds he felt the hands holding him in place relax and he pulled back, looking down at him. Yami blinked up at him, mouth partially open and cheeks flushed; visible even in the dim light. His fiery eyes flickered from Joey’s face to the area of mattress next to him before going back.

Still breathing heavily, Joey nodded slightly and lifted the blanket covering Yami whilst he scooted over the make room. Shunting in beside him, Joey turned onto his side and wd und until Yami had settled with his back curved into him before wrapping an arm around the slender waist, taking the hand that he found there in his own.

There was silence again, and although each knew that the other was awake neither said a word. Nothing needed to be said.

****