To Lose

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh Gx. I do not own the basis for this fanfiction, the concept is taken with permission from “Yami’s Chan” fanfiction ‘Slut’. I make no money from this.


To Lose
By 11


Chapter 04
Slut

“Chazz?”

Go away.

“Chazz, you gotta wake up.”

Stupid slacker.

“Chazz – it’s breakfast come on,” Jaden’s hand good-naturedly shaking his shoulder – warm and soft, but too solid, and pulling him away from the blank bliss of rest.

“Then go without me,” he hissed turning away from the offender, muttering slightly under his breath, “idiot.”

He couldn’t see him, but he could have guessed the slacker shrugged. “If you say so,” he said, probably grinning slightly, before heading for the door, clicking shut behind him.

Chazz’s eyes opened, but he stayed still a moment longer – letting reality sink in around him once again.

So he’d now been hiding away at the Slifer dorms almost a full week. It was idiotic – it was like he ended up living in this cesspool. But he’d been able to successfully avoid people trying to find him after and before classes.

With some effort he forced himself from the bed – the motions of morning, relieving, cleaning, and dressing. All the while a scowl held onto his pale face, if only because of the constancy of a distasteful situation.

He supposed he’d become slowly used to it, if a person could ever get ‘used to’ something so inane, pathetic, and vomit-worthy.

Chazz made a small attempt to loosen the tense muscles across his forehead and mouth – he didn’t succeed so he left it alone.

It was pathetic and stupid, but it was currently unalterable. Therefore he would just live with it, and the accompanying feelings of sickness and disgust.

He skipped breakfast because it was just another opportunity to be cornered alone – a resulting inane situation would be likely to occur then.

Their numbers had grown, the whispers were now idle gossip, spoken loudly, laughter clearly seen and heard – and he ignored it: all of it.

He arrived in class about the time that everyone was filtering in before the last minute. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the idiot wave to him, he ignored him too, choosing a seat off to the side, releatively far from the idiot.

Jaden looked like he was about to get up, but that was then the teacher walked in the door. The brunette sat back down, but he still watched Chazz for a moment before finally turning back toward class, and inevitably falling asleep five minutes after that.

What a fool. The only fool who had no idea what people were saying when they talked about Chazz. Should he have been aghast at his continued stupidity and uninterest on searching the word online, or just grateful that there were a pair of eyes that didn’t look at him with mirth or disgust.

The only reason he’d ever consented to sexual behavior to begin with – eyes that made him feel like the only thing worth looking. Feeling like he was important, necessary. He didn’t see those eyes anymore. It was a total waste. It was worthless. But now it was a pattern, and he couldn’t break it.

Such was the pattern when walking between classes, he was suddenly flanked by two – and steered off toward a deserted corner.

“This’ll have to be quick one.”

“Shut up! It was difficult enough to get him alone!”

“Yeah, you’re getting kind of exclusive! That’s not really fair is it?”

Chazz could have snarled. “Are you going to get to it, or just yap? You’re wasting your time and mine!”

Then if only he just hadn’t spoken at all. He didn’t bother fighting anymore, he didn’t bother with the duel, he didn’t bother a token resistance. It ended the same anyway – the only objective was to get it over as quickly as possible.

He could handle that. So he could handle the alternate wads of flesh transferred from his hands to his mouth – dripping sick wet slime over his palms and tongue. Musky gross smells – grunts and groans and leering smirks and sneers.

The tightening of muscle against his tongue, and then hot white-bile shot down his throat. Somehow he’d stopped gagging and spitting, allowing wet fluid to gush out over his clothes in the process.

Sickening.

He swallowed it all – three swallows, quick succession and he was spent. The second was close, and his fingers pinched on the third.

His tongue hit on the second member and boy grunted – an obscenely disgusting sound – and Chazz swallowed his seed, stroking the third to brink of completely.

Disgusting.

Four swallows – and he was done. The third was beating a heavy pulse into his mouth. The youth’s grunting pants accentuated by bucking into the mouth around him.

Chazz felt it again, the short spasm, just before the sick white fluid gushed into his mouth – his own throat working to swallow it down as quickly as it spilled out.

Worthless.

Then the three fell back, and Chazz rose from the floor. After ascertaining no marks were left on his clothes or person, he turned and walked back to the hall – leaving the boys behind to zip up their pants. He had a minute to get to class.

He felt like vomiting, and he felt eh shivers of revulsion. But he held it down, this was the last class before lunch – he would manage. He would be fine.

It wasn’t okay. He pretended it was okay. So it was okay. So it didn’t hurt him pride. So it was okay. It didn’t hurt him, because now it was by choice.

It was sickening. But then class was starting and by halfway into his notes, Chazz would be able to briefly forget the feeling of sickness welling up inside him.

Sartorius was still away, but he’d said on the phone that he would be back by the end of the week. It couldn’t be more than another day or so by now.

Chazz would bide his time until he figured out what to do about all this garbage that had happened in Sartorius’s absence.

Class ended, and he remembered again. “Chazz!” Now that wasn’t like them, they didn’t usually use him name-wait no. This wasn’t them.

“Hey – I was trying to call you over this morning,” and Chazz frowned at the brunette invading his sphere. “You missed it when the spare sheets were passed back before the professor came in.”

Chazz glanced over the proffered sheet – a flow equation relationship between monsters attack and defense, so this is what the professor had been referring to through the lecture. He’d assumed it was in the book and he’d find it later.

He didn’t thank the other, just made a small ‘hm’ing sound and stepped past him. Jaden fell into step beside him – oh goodness no. Now the prattling began.

“Come to think of it you’ve been pretty out of it for a while now.” The idiot started mindlessly chattering. “You always used to be early to classes too – guess you’ve just been really tired, huh?”

Chazz ‘hm’ed again, a noncommittal sound. By now on the way to lunch he’d be walking a bit faster, so as to avoid the crowd and also any more of ‘them’ to be dealt with.

“Do the Obelisk dorms just get really loud sometimes? I’m guessing that’s why you’re not sleeping there anymore,” if only he would shut up – the idiot was almost pleasant with his yap closed.

“Not that I mind you staying at our dorms, it’s just a little strange. Have you talked to Crowler about the noise problem?”

Ugh. Then he spotted them, and Chazz almost froze, but he kept walking. Their eyes followed him, leering, mocking, but they didn’t come near. They didn’t so much as walk by him directly the whole way to the cafeteria. Chazz’s heart sped up anxious: Why?

“Must be a mad party – I wonder why Alexis didn’t invite me – maybe she doesn’t go. What do you think?”

Him? They weren’t approaching him because of Jaden… same as they never propositioned him while in front of other people – it was why he was safe during class too probably. As long as he’s not alone, not isolated, they couldn’t come close to him.

“Alexis doesn’t seem like the type to be too serious for a party though, she’d definitely go to a party even if she only showed up,” Jaden mused, still prattling.

Maybe it would be a good idea to walk with the idiot more often… even if he did ramble on about stupid things. Idiot.

“Alexis would definitely go to a party… you maybe not.”

Chazz heard that.

“What’s that supposed to mean, slacker?” he scowled.

Jaden just grinned, “See? You’re so serious all the time – parties are all about loosening up!” As if the idiot had any idea how ‘loose’ Chazz could be – the irony almost made him smirk.

That damnable grin never faltered, “But I do get why it would disturb your beauty sleep!” It was still just mindless prattle. Jaden didn’t know anything. It was probably better that way.

`

It hadn’t even been a full 48 hours… Jaden had already noticed something. Why couldn’t idiots just be idiots?

“Chazz?”

Annoying. “What?”

“Well I don’t know if you’ve noticed but,” the brunette leaned forward to whisper across the lunch table – as if this were a conspiracy.

“We’ve had people tailing us between classes and they’re still here during lunch. I think they were hanging around yesterday too… not the same ones but… - you know?”

Chazz glowered. It might have been easier if he just hadn’t noticed. “I can point them out you know, they’re sitting just over-!”

Jaden’s hand raised to point the trailing ‘people’ out, but Chazz’s hand was faster. His palm and fingers snapped over Jadens – effectively pinning the other’s hand to the table.

“Don’t point at them! Don’t even look at them!” Chazz hissed, “Geez! That’s common sense, isn’t it?!”

“Okay,” Jaden agreed, “So what’s going on? Are you in some kind of trouble?”

Chazz scowled, again wishing vainly that the idiot would just drop it already – and stop asking stupid questions! He was dealing with it just fine so far!

“You know people still talk about you,” Jaden went on when Chazz refused to respond, “I’m guessing it’s not nice the way they keep saying it.”

What a perfectly logical conclusion. Bravo Jaden. Chazz could have sneered, but the honest concern in sunset eyes stayed his muscle initial urge.

Jaden’s mouth worked as if to ask a question, but then he didn’t ask. What was that? Oh right, the idiot still didn’t even know what it meant.

The brunette didn’t even bother looking it up in the dictionary though – it obviously didn’t matter much to him – which was fine for Chazz. “I won’t bother asking again, it’s not like it matters,” Jaden shook his head, “I already know you’re not bad.”

Chazz started when Jaden’s fingers turned up into his palm – the brunette’s hand hugging around his own. Chazz almost felt like ripping away from the contact – except he never realized how cold his hand was before Jaden’s warm one wrapped around his.

Jaden went on, still grinning, his damnable infectious grin, “So it’s gotta be a false accusation anyway. If you and I know that then it doesn’t matter about those guys.”

Chazz felt the shudder of revulsion twist along his spine again. Because he knew it was true – it wasn’t a false accusation. But what if Jaden knew that?

If Jaden ever actually found out what that word meant, what Chazz did, what he was still doing…

If Jaden found out…

…

He didn’t know what would happen.

…

Chazz didn’t think about that possibility again until several hours later – because he was alone again, and ‘they’ had found him.

Their eyes betrayed pent up frustrations, and annoyance – they knew he’d been doing it on purpose, or if they didn’t know they suspected it.

Funny how they knew this was wrong but insisted on it anyway. Of course he did the same thing – he knew it was wrong but he allowed it nonetheless.

“You’ve gotten even more difficult to get a hold of, slut!”

“Yeah, it’s like you’re avoiding us – hanging around that red rat? What is he a total idiot? Does he know what you are?!”

“As if it matters now,” Chazz scowled, willing them to think of something other than that tiny detail. “We’re all here now, right?”

The youths all frowned though and exchanged glances. It was getting troublesome, they were trying to think with the heads on their shoulders instead of the other one – more favorable thinking to Chazz’s immediate goals.

Eyes fixed back on Chazz, and he scowled back at them – he knew what they were thinking. They were going to tell Jaden. The big one suddenly leered, and out came the words he was expecting. “So what if that idiot became of what you are, what you do?”

“Huh?” Chazz forced himself to bark nonchalantly, smirking at the boys as if they had just failed a special pop-exam.

“There’s no reason for you to do that, it doesn’t benefit you.” He made it sound like they’d be wasting their energy, and they exchanged unsure glances again.

“I’m right here, and you can do whatever you want.” Chazz nearly growled the words, arms crossed, stance stiff every muscle still tense, even after this had happened often enough.

“So quit trying to make threats for something you already have – it makes you look stupid.”

Lustful sneers darkened, “Shut up.” – but they still stepped toward him, the sound of zippers just before the start.

The disgust welled up inside him and he choked it back. At least he tricked them away from that concept for the moment.

It didn’t lessen the sickness of taking several limbs of flesh into his throat, and swallowing their disgusting spray.

Hot. Sweaty. Sticky. Gross. Disgusting. But they’d gotten rougher too – a hand fisted in his dark hair, forced him down faster.

The harsh hold pushed him back down – nearly gagging him at the final release – white fluid gushing down his throat.

Fingers bruised his scalp, ripping out perfect ebony hairs, and leaving marks on his shoulders, wrist – wherever else they grabbed him during the disgusting orgy of shame.

It was getting worse again. Or maybe that’s how it already was, and this was just the second instance.

“What?!” Chazz snarled.
“Well you said anything, right?”

“Didn’t you do this with Tookeshi already anyway?”

Like Chazz had any idea what he did and with who at any given time! They were all a mindless mass to him anyway!

“Are you trying to weasel out of it?” somehow they’d rid him of a good half his clothes, the worse half actually. “We could always tell that idiot?”

He’d hoped they’d forgotten that already. “Are you an idiot?” Chazz snapped back, “Just stop talking.” Then complied. As if he meant to – as if he wasn’t going against himself to do this.

They didn’t mind it. It hurt when the first mass slid inside him, lubricated with cum and spit and who-knows-what-else. Then hot disgusting juice filled him, and a second wad pressed into his backside.

Then a third, skin slapping skin, and hips jerking hard into his – hands bruising along his back, arms and hips. Dark marks that wouldn’t fade for days.

Then a fourth – repulsive grunts and groans and greasy hands gripping his skin and twisting in his hair.

Then a fifth – and he lost count – between the liquid gushing in, and spurting out and hands constantly roaming over him – it was revolting. Sickening. Utterly disgusting, and then it was finally over.

Afterward he took the luxury of vomiting the white fluid and vicious seed out from his innards. He took the time to let the goop slip out his backside – cleaning his body as best he could without taking a shower back at the dorm.

If he got back to the Slifer dorm within the next five minutes or so then he would be left unmolested the rest of the day.

Why did he care if Jaden found out? Why did he care if the idiot knew anyway?

Because he might hate Chazz? Because Chazz didn’t know how he’d respond. Because Jaden was the only one who didn’t see him as meat currently?

So he wanted to keep it that way… even his prattle was okay because he was talking to him, even if it wasn’t especially important talk.

He wanted to keep Jaden, and wanted Jaden to keep him in this semblance of--thoughts for a moment dashed back to lunch and warm fingers curled over his own, his hands were cold again weren’t they?--this semblance of… friendship? Whatever it was.

Chazz righted himself, cleaning his mouth and face, before heading at a brisk enough pace to the slifer dorms. It would be fine. Similarly, Chazz would be fine.

As long as Jaden didn’t find out, and Jaden didn’t hate him, everything would be fine. So when Chazz got back and Jaden grinned and asked him how he was, Chazz said, “Fine.”

He responded ‘normally’, just as if nothing had happened – because really ‘nothing’ only ever did.

---

Review.