Welcome, boys and girls, to WCFSZPFF! Yeah, just TRY and pronounce that! Anyways, this chapter seemed bigger when I typed it out, but as it turns out, it's rather small. Sorry about that. Thanks for the reviews! Keep sending them in! Good or bad, I like feedback! And don't worry, I'm not going to be a jerk and only update this every six months. I swear! So now, enjoy the show!
Chapter 4: A Small Detour From Oblivion
When we last left our heroes... “We have to cut the green wire!”
“Don’t cut it! It’s the wrong one!”
“No! It IS the right one! We have to cut it or else the entire White House will go up in flames!”
“But we don’t know if the green one is the right one!”
“Just cut the green wire already!”
“ACK!”
“What’s wrong!?”
“They’re ALL green!”
“...”
“Uh-oh.”
And now... The entire cast looks at the TV monitor that displayed the flashbacks.
“Wow.” says Ryo. “How come every show gets better plots than we do?”
“I SO wanted that to be us!” shouts Joey.
“You can’t get everything you want in life, hon.” says Mai.
“Okay then. I’ll just settle with you and ----DELETED DUE TO THE DECENCY OF HUMANITY ACT OF 2019, WHICH TOOK AFFECT IN 2006.---- on me.”
Jaws dropped as everyone was shocked to hear this coming from a mortal human being. No one even had any time to protect Serenity’s ears.
“OH MY GOSH!!! MY BROTHER’S A PERVERT!!!” she squealed.
“News flash, Serenity. He’s
always been like that.” says Tristan.
Seeing no one else to turn to now, Serenity runs up to Pegasus and clings onto him, still crying. Pegasus is confused at first, but like the gentleman that he is, tries to console her. Suddenly, Joey is smacked across the face; hard enough to turn his head a good 90 degrees.
SMACK!!!
“Hey, what was that for, Mai?”
SMACK!!!
“Hey, quit it!”
SMACK SMACK!!!
“Stop” SMACK! “the” SMACK! “smacking!” SMACK SMACK!!!
“MY BRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIN!!!” SMACK SMACK SMACK!!!
Joey face and body then turns into one of complete mental retardation.
SMACK!!!
Joey then stands up straight and declares the following:
“Watch me, Yugi. I will duel for my sister’s eyes AND for my pride as a duelist.”
“Hummp.” mutters Mai. “I always knew he was a little brain dead whenever he went on spiels like that. Oh well, time to turn him back to normal.”
And with her backhand this time, she smacks Joey once more.
“Hey, what happened? Did I drink too much again?”
“Ummm...yeah. Let’s go with that.” they all say.
“Hey. Ummm...I don’t mean to butt in or anything but, weren’t we doing something here?” asks Marik.
Oh yeah, he’s right. Okay, places everybody! It’s time for ‘Duel! Abenobashi Arcade of Yu-Gi-Oh! Parodies’!
“...”
“Is that legal?” whispers Yugi.
“I’m not quite sure.” answers Duke. “We’ll blame him if we get sued.”
“Okay.”
The cameraman comes into focus.
And...Action!
“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” laughs Marik, laughingly. “Pharaoh, I will take the God cards that belong to me from you, even if I have to pry them from your cold, dead hands.”
“I thought you were on our side after Battle City, Marik.” sneers Yami.
“This fanfic happens to take place just before then, so I still hate you, but secretly admire you from afar.”
Marik then blinks, then goes off to the cabin to read his script. Yep, sure enough, that’s what it said.
Can’t believe I have to put up with this, and only for Odion to keep quiet about...Hey, why are MY thoughts out in the open!? Go back to Joey’s head, you pervert! Joey’s head scares me. Moving along...
“Pharaoh, you know what must be done. We must duel for the God cards once again. And this time, I can’t lose!”
“Ummm...I didn’t bring my cards with me.”
“...WHAT!!? How could you forget to bring your cards? EVERYBODY’S out to get your head on a platter! Even TV evangelists are trying to gun you down!”
“I didn’t think I’d need them.”
“So how are we going to battle?”
Like this!
“Hmm?” comes from both.
The poop deck is suddenly transformed into a giant Dance Dance Revolution platform. That’s right, the two of you will have to dance for the God cards. They want to be entertained before materializing into flesh and bone and wipe out the world.
“That last part didn’t sound good.” says Marik.
It’s the first part I’m worried about., thinks Yami. Dances were for the peasants back in his time, so he doesn’t know how to dance.
The two combatants take the stage as the rest of the gang emerge from the lower deck.
“Ummm, what’s going on here?” asks Joey.
“It’s a long story, but in short, Marik wants my God cards, which I don’t have on me at the time, and has to duel me in a dance-off, according to the twisted mind of the narrator.”
Hey! I’m just perverted, that’s all.
“Oh I’m
so relieved.” mutters Bakura.
The music starts blaring and the two start to jive. The notes were very fast and the lyrics were very dirty, causing the two to become concerned with “other matters” very soon. The strain on their faces begins to show. Serenity is quickly led into the lowest deck of the boat by Mai.
“Run away, Serenity! Cover your ears from the filth that men listen to and only buxom women like me dance to! Don’t look back!” says Mai.
“I don’t know how much more the Pharaoh can take!” says Tristan.
Suddenly, Joey bolts out of the area and heads for the bathroom.
“Good thing Joey wasn’t playing.” comments Bakura.
The music starts to get faster, the lyrics beyond any plane of perversion, pants starting to get
real tight, and the tensions elsewhere mounting. Just when Yami felt like he might lose, Tea’s empty-headed body comes to the stage and starts playing along with the two others. Marik, remembering all the “fun” times he had with her during Battle City before being possessed by Yami Marik, combined with the suggestions from the raunchy lyrics, loses all control and jumps from his spot and starts dry humping Tea like a beast in heat. He is not really concerned which way Tea is facing at the moment either. The music stops, and so does Yami, and all his friends come to congratulate him on his victory. Yami needs rest, so they all head for the resting room, leaving Tea’s defenseless body on deck to be raped by Marik.
Later, the gang are all in the dining room, except for Tea, whom nobody has seen since the fight with Marik.
“I thought that Marik was...” began Yugi.
“No, but you are close.” says a voice.
Everybody turns around to see Odion again. His clothes are dripping wet.
“How did
you get on the boat?” asks Serenity.
“I swam.”
“Oh, okay.”
“So what do you mean by us being close?” asks Yugi.
“Marik likes...how shall I say this...both the birds
and the bees.”
A small beat of sweat starts to form on Bakura’s face. As the camera guy tries to zoom in on it, Bakura automatically sends him to the Shadow Realm; this one containing topless and back nude photos of people that look like they could be either gender. The camera guy spends the rest of eternity debating whether or not he’s gay.
“Wow. Feel sorry for that guy.” mutters Duke.
“So that’s why Marik went after the girl.” says Pegasus, because the main conversation is still taking place.
Nothing else of importance went on for the rest of the day, except for the fact that Tea’s body was later found, still breathing, in the closet. By six o’clock, the boat had managed to mysteriously find its way to Bigcreepypossiblyhauntedbutmostcertainlylethal Island, for it now had no captain; Marik was nowhere to be found.
What will happen once they reach the island? Who is waiting for them there? What will they have to go through to reach them? Is Tea pregnant with Marik’s lovechild? Find this out and more in the next chapter: Strip! Abenob- I mean,...Wacky Crazy Funny Silly Zany Party Fan Fic!
To be continued...
