I love you, but

Title: I love you but…(how could you do this to me?)

Summary: Okay, because I’m lazy I’m going to make this a short short summary. Leon gets raped by Siegfried…OoOoOoO fear the shortness…fear it!

Disclaimer: I Do not own yuu-gi-oh or ANY of the characters…if I did the show would not be suitable for children’s eyes…and ohhh the bad TV reports I would have…not to mention the millions of dollars I would have. I wouldn’t have to go to this crappy collage…*thinks* oh heaven. (Yes I plan to keep my disclaimer the same for all of my FFs)

Author’s Note: Wow, 2 updates within 7 days!!! On the same fic!!! It’s a new record for me (: In this one I’m taking a kind reviewers suggestion and am going to have Siegfried try to swoon his little brother the right way. Will his plan work or will he have to resort to his old way? Read and find out (:

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It was the very next morning that Siegfried decided to take action once again. He was still frustrated from the love that was robbed from him that night and was willing to do anything to get to his little brother. Leon of course was oblivious to his brother’s night visit and was completely unaware of his older brother’s morning plan. But he was soon to meet this intention head on.

Leon had woken up at 7:30 the next morning. He lay in bed for about five minutes thinking over the dream that he had had the previous night. Well it was more of a nightmare. He’d dreamt that his brother had come to him in the middle of the night to talk about what had happened before and then it turned into a memory of when Siegfried…

He shook the memory from his head and got up. He was unaware of the fact that Siegfried was standing outside his door rejoicing the fact that he heard movement in the room after an hour of waiting. (Usually Leon was up around six thirty.)

Leon dressed himself quite slowly, he was in a glum mood already and he was usually a morning person. He wasn’t sure if he would be able to even look at Siegfried that morning. He was getting over the shock and depression over what had happened and was moving on to resentment and distrust.

Straightening his collar with one hand Leon opened his bedroom door with his eyes fixated on the floor. For a few seconds as he set his collar into an orderly place he did not see his older brother leaning on the wall next to his doorway. But when he did he nearly jumped out of his still disorganized collar.

“Ach! Sieg-sama, wha-what are you doing here?” He put on a fake smile as a deep blush ran across his face. “Don’t you have work?”

“Well, I decided to take the day off to spend time with my sweet younger brother.” Siegfried erected himself from the wall and took a few steps toward Leon only to have the younger boy back off a step. Siegfried, finding his brother’s actions quite amusing, took another two steps forward to watch amazed as Leon backed off another step. He could see the younger boy’s lip quivering in fear and for a moment Siegfried felt ashamed. It was his own fault that Leon was backing away from him when usually Leon would take a few steps forward if Siegfried came towards him. He knew that he had ruined that relationship, but he was working on brining it back. “Hold still for a moment won’t you?” Siegfried said as he took another step forward watching how Leon twitched at the step longing to back away.

Siegfried reached down and straightened his younger brother’s collar. Not because it was brothering him that it was untidy, but simply because he wanted a reason to run his hands across Leon’s flesh. Unfortunately for him Leon was aware of that too.

“Sieg-sama, may I ask you what exactly you had in mind for today? I’m really not up for much; I kinda don’t feel all that well.” That was lie and Siegfried knew it. Leon felt fine, he was just scared.

“Well, I thought I’d let you pick what we do today, und I’ll choose what we do tonight.” That didn’t come out right and he knew it. He needed something to cover it up so he wouldn’t frighten the boy even worse. “Wait, that didn’t sound quite right, given our situation. Let me rephrase that as, I’ll choose what we do the latter half of the day.” Although it was rephrased Leon was still afraid of what that meant.

“I guess for this half of the day we could play a game.” For a moment Leon allowed the resentment he was feeling come out. At first he felt relieved, but later he would find himself crawling to his older brother and apologizing.

“Alright, fire away.” Siegfried smiled in an innocent way, Leon didn’t know if it was from enthusiasm or sick thoughts that were marching through his head.

“It’s called ‘The Invisible Man’. Whoever’s invisible has to stay away from the person whose not. And you, Siegfried, are The Invisible Man.” With that Leon walked down the hall to disappear in one of the many corridors where Siegfried would have no chance of finding him leaving his brother standing dumbfounded behind him.

Siegfried thought about following after the boy staying a good distance behind him but reconsidered. Leon was mad at him, that was understandable enough, but he knew that if he played his cards right his brother would come to him sooner or later. With that thought in mind he headed down the stairs and headed off to his office where he work on filing or inventions ignoring the phone as it rang off the hook as usual. That’s what he had a secretary for. Speaking of the devil…

“I thought you were taking the day of, sir.”

“I am. Don’t forward any faxes to me and don’t ring any calls to my desk. I just want to get caught up on other things for a while.” So the secretary left his to his work and did her job of answering phones and telling them that the head of Schroeder Corp. was not available. Those were the only in-home calls he got…business calls. At least for a few hours.

Around 11:00 their mother called wanting to know exactly what was going on in that house. The secretary had no choice but to forward the call only knowingly annoying her employer.

“Siegfried, your secretary told me that you were taking the day off. Why?” His mother was being pushy with him. A new habit she gained after the molestation of her youngest son.

“I intended to spend the day lounging about the house doing whatever Leon pleased for the day, and I am. You’re interrupting our game.” Siegfried leaned back in his chair and stared blankly at his computer screen.

“Oh am I now? And what might this game consist of?” It was obvious to her that she was showing her thoughts in her words. She just /knew/ that he was planning on touching and fondling her child again and the thought of that made her sick.

“It’s called ‘Invisible Man.’ Whoever is the invisible man has to avoid those who are not invisible at all costs. I am the invisible man at Leon’s whim, so I am avoiding him at all costs. You’re interrupting our game. He may poke his head into my office at anytime and I won’t be ready to hide from him.” With that he intended to hang up the phone only to hear the distant nagging of his mother and forced himself to raise the phone from the few deadly centimeters from it and the receiver.

“So where is Leon right now?”

“I don’t know. This is like a bizarre game of hide-und-seek where the seeker dose not look for the one missing.”

“I could care less about your little game! Where is Leon! I demand that you allow me to talk to him! Unless by some odd reason he cannot be heard from because he has a gag down his throat or a dick up his—”

“Easy! Easy! I’ll have the maids go look for him and tell him he has a call. In the meantime, why don’t you call the regular phone number rather than the business line.” And this time he did hang up the phone despite his mother’s protests and within seconds he heard the distant echoing ring of the house phone. A servant would answer it, he knew, and his mother would ask for Leon. And she would get him because the servants obeyed her like a Goddess, although she was far from being one.

“Hallo, Schroeder house.” The maid’s voice was casually monotone as instructed as she answered the phone. Either way Frau Von Schroeder recognized the voice as her in-house servant Naomi, or preferably named Mammy by the Mistress herself and by Leon who knew her as the nanny.

“Mammy, it’s me. You wouldn’t happen to know where Leon is about right now would you?”

“I believe last time I checked on him he was in his room. He refused to come down for breakfast and I hate to say it, but I’m rather worried. You know how much your son loves to eat if I may be so bold as to say so, ma’am.”

“Can you get him for me? I want to talk with him.”

“Yes, just a moment ma’am. I’ll transfer you to the upstairs phone.” Mammy sat the phone down on the small table where it was located and called to another maid to hang it up the instant that the other connection was made. The younger servant agreed and Mammy slipped up the stairs to the youngest Von Schroeder’s room where the boy sat silently in the corner farthest from the door.

Leon jumped as he saw the door opening in fear that it was Siegfried coming to claim his half of the day. He tried to hide a sigh of relief as the old figure of Mammy came into view.

“Young master, your mother is on the line. She wishes to speak with you.” Leon nodded and stood up from his seat on the floor. It was obvious to Mammy that he had been crying before she had been in his room, but she was in no position to state that to him.

Upon reaching the phone and stating a simple “Hello” he heard the soft click of the maid hanging up from downstairs.

“Leon, your brother told me that he took the day off. He hasn’t…done anything has he?” Although she was vague on the details, Leon knew exactly what she was talking about and it made him want to cry again.

“No, mom.” He regretted his tone the instant he said it.

“That sounds like a trained response. What did he do?”

“Nothing! I’m just tired. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I had a nightmare about before.” She knew what before was. He didn’t really want to say anything about his nightmare, but knew he had too or she would wonder exactly why he didn’t get enough sleep.

“Alright, but you know, if he does do anything or you need me, just call and I’ll come home if it’s necessary. I don’t like leaving you alone with him, but I couldn’t bring you along with us.” She was trying to make excuses and Leon didn’t like it. Soon she would be indirectly saying that he would be in the way or underfoot.

“I know. He won’t do anything mom. I know that for sure. He has to regain your trust before he does that.” Leon regretted his tone again. He was really starting to have a bad day.

“Leon…” His mother stressed. Father always got irritable when he went on long trips and she was stuck with him. Leon couldn’t help but think that she was praying that Siegfried would just fuck his brains out so she could have a good reason to come home. The thought burned at his mind causing his eyes to tear at the thought of what his mother could be wishing on him.

“I’m sorry.” He heard his mother’s smirk in her voice. She loved to hear people apologize to her. It made her feel more powerful and important than she really was.

“That’s alright, Leon. I’ll talk to you later. We’ll be home as soon as we can. I love you. Auf Wiedersehen.” She didn’t even give him time to respond before hanging up, but that was nothing short of usual.

/Mother doesn’t have any faith in Sieg-sama either. I know what he did to me was really bad, but what I’m doing to him right now is almost as bad. I mean, he could just want to hang out with me and I’m pushing him away./ Leon placed the phone on the hook and headed back into his room. He shut the door quickly before allowing himself to slip into a quiet depression, but not before Mammy could see the tears fall. She felt sorry for him. She didn’t know what had happened, but she assumed that he had been in some sort of trouble with the Mistress. Either way she passed it off and continued on with her job.

Around lunchtime Leon still refused to leave the sanctity of his room causing Mammy and some of the other servants to worry. It bothered them even more to know that their boss didn’t really take the situation all that seriously. He simply said “I know” and that was all. Mammy acquired her own suspicions that whatever was wrong with Leon was Siegfried’s doing, but she would never be so bold as to say so.

Around four O’clock that evening Leon slipped out of his room and headed towards Siegfried’s office hoping that his older brother would be there. He doubted that he would have enough strength to travel through the house looking for him and could bear to ask anyone where he was in fear that he would fall into a fit of crying again. That was a problem of his. Whenever he tried his hardest not to cry the tears would find some way to spill over.

Leon drug himself out of his room and down the stairs and then stood quietly in front of Siegfried’s closed office door. First he thought about knocking, then was afraid that it would make too much noise to remind him that the house was nearly empty. Although they never really paid him much mind, the house always felt so lonely whenever his parents were gone. For a while he thought about just going in, but that meant that Siegfried could do whatever he pleased to him without anyone really knowing where he was. (He figured that the secretary would not be in due to the fact that his older brother took the day off.) But eventually he came to his senses and decided to stand in front of the door and wait for Siegfried to open it. Although he feared that Siegfried was not in there at all and that he would be standing there in vain for hours. The thought would’ve eventually provoked him to open the door and look, if it wasn’t for the reoccurring mummers that were coming from the room distinctively in Siegfried’s voice.

The words that his brother was mumbling were almost indistinct, but Leon was more than sure that he had heard his name once or twice along with other crude things that he was sure were not about him.

Within one hour of standing completely still, ignoring the glance he saw the maids giving him out of the corner of his eye, he heard movement within the room and almost felt like running off when he saw the doorknob turn. He thought better of it and stood completely still. This caused quite a problem as Siegfried emerged from the room not looking where he was going and paying much more attention to his secretary who was not sure if she should just head home. Siegfried was reassuring her as he stepped out of the room and literally tripped over the smaller boy, who had been standing there for a ridiculously long time, and landed on top of him.

Leon emitted a loud yelp that was choked with tears as his head slammed onto the hard stone floor. Siegfried played that sound over and over in his mind as he managed to catch himself before colliding heads with his kid brother. He began to think of a way that he could get Leon to make a sound like that, but dismissed the thought as he noticed the questioning glances that formed all around him from a few of the maids a guard and his secretary. It was then that he realized he and Leon were almost in the same position that they had been in a week before, the night he caught his sweet brother in bed. The same thought was pounding in Leon’s mind as he tried to hold onto consciousness and dismiss the pain.

“Leon, are you alright?” Siegfried asked as he pulled himself up from the floor. “You shouldn’t just stand in doorways.” Leon sat up and ran his hand over the most pained area on the back of his head trying to gently soothe the pain. He couldn’t manage an answer knowing that in the instant he would open his mouth he would start crying from pain and heartache. “Leon?” Siegfried knelt beside his brother who hadn’t managed to stand himself up. “/Are/ you alright?” Leon whimpered quite loudly making butterflies form in Siegfried’s stomach.

“I-I think so…” Just as Leon had predicted tears fell the instant he began to talk. He half flinched and half melted the instant that Siegfried placed his hand on his shoulder. He didn’t want Siegfried to touch him in fear of what he was thinking, but he also wanted to melt into the touch seeking the comfort that he had found in his brother’s arms dozens of times before.

“Well…I don’t think so…” Siegfried allowed his hand to travel from Leon’s shoulder to the back of his head to caress the offended area gently. Leon found something sensual in that touch. Despite the small tinge of pain that circulated through him each time Siegfried moved his fingers he felt rather comfortable that way. It was a dirty little secret of the smaller boy that sometimes pain was quite pleasurable. “Come on, Leon.” Siegfried’s hand retreated from his head and he stood himself up. Leon looked up at him inquisitively and quite pathetically as tears streamed slowly down his cheeks. He thought for one fretful second that Siegfried was just going to leave him there as a mess on the floor. But that thought was erased as Siegfried extended his hand for the younger boy to grasp. The instant that their hands collided a smile played across both Leon and Siegfried’s faces making some of the maids glance wearily at each other. Some of them heard rumors about why the young master had been crying that one night and figured that Siegfried had something to do with it. In that house the maids were like the schoolgirls and the masters and mistresses were the teachers. When wasn’t there a rumor going around about a teacher? (A/N: In my old Middle School there was a rumor that our algebra teacher threw a desk at a student. Turns out the rumor was only partly true. He slid the desk at the kid, not actually throwing it. God that was so very long ago…)

The instant Leon was on his feet, the tears still coming slowly, he could no longer resist the urge to embrace the figure that he loved so dearly. Mostly out of shame for being so cruel, but partly because of the pain that he was feeling and wanted some sort of comfort. Siegfried was more than happy to comply with mostly lust, but a little bit of concern as well.

“I have a proposal for you, Leon,” Siegfried said as he and Leon walked down the corridor to the living quarters. Leon’s arms were still wrapped tightly around Siegfried’s waist and only a few tears were falling now. He was slightly more comfortable. But either way he was still mad about the violent act forced on him by the other man.

“If it involves a bed count me out.” He let his arms slip away from his brother’s waist and cast his eyes downward.

“Who said you need to have a bed in order to make love?” Siegfried made a quick glance all around to make sure that no one was watching before almost violently shoving Leon back into a wall. The boy whimpered which made Siegfried grin.

Siegfried tilted his younger brother’s chin upwards to meet his lips. Before even being told Leon found himself opening his mouth to allow Siegfried’s tongue to venture inward. Leon didn’t even have thoughts about biting the intruder like before, but not because he was sure he would be beaten, but because he was not sure if he was enjoying himself or not.

“S-Sieg-Sieg-sa-sama…” Siegfried broke the kiss entirely to allow the child to speak, but not before he noticed a deep blush coming across the boy’s face.

“What’s the matter, Leon?” Leon swallowed hard before pointing down the hallway.

“M-Mammy…” Siegfried cast his eyes to where Leon was pointing only to see the maid Mammy standing there where a defiant flush on her own cheeks.


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A/N: Well…it’s rather long, but there is no Lemon like I intended it to be. I figured people would get tired of reading the same long story without any progress…I promise that the next chapter will be mostly lemony ^^ Cross my heart ^^ and it will be up very very soon ^^