To Find a Hidden Love

Title: To Find a Hidden Love

Author: Daisey

Rating: R

Pairing: Atem/Katenen (Yami/Jou); mention of Yugi/Katenen (Yugi/Jou)

Beta: Akuchan **hugs**

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or it's characters, just a few keepsakes, cards, and daydreams that are precious to me...(not to mention VHS tapes, DVD's, manga... ^__^ )

Summary: A secret love affair is exposed upon the death of Atem's brother leaving the god-king to deal with not only the burden of his own grief but that of the lover's as well.

A/N: I have included some Egyptian/Arabic words in the text to add to the feel to the story; explanations/definitions will be listed at the end of the chapter.

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Herihor stood outside the heavy doors of the High Priest's chambers, his mind and heart ~both~ moving faster than they ever had before. Word had come via courier that the reclusive priest wished to speak with him. Immediately his post had been filled and he had left, the back of his head heating under the curious stares of his peers. Herihor couldn't blame them for being curious- never before had a simple kitchen guard received such a summons. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of waiting, the door to the High Priest's rooms opened and a servant bowed him inside. Hesitantly Herihor moved forward, his eyes immediately seeking the man who had summoned him. Finding no one, he turned and looked questioningly at the servant.

"His Excellency will be with you shortly," the man replied to the unspoken question. "Please take a seat, but remember to rise and humble yourself when he enters." With that, the servant was gone, leaving Herihor alone in the room and waiting once again.

Unbeknownst to the guard, intense blue eyes were already observing him from a vantage point just outside of the small antechamber. Seth smirked lightly at the guard's discomfort and then sighed, his amusement gone as quickly as it had arisen. Normally one of his station wouldn't deign to speak to a mere kitchen guard, but the slender priest had no choice. It was less than a week from Yugi's entombment… over two months since the passing of his diminutive cousin's Ka, and Atem was still lost in the throes of his grief. And while the god-king was no longer disconsolate, Seth found his current state much harder to bear.

Atem had always been a man of high emotions, wearing his pleasure and grief, anger and passion openly for those around him to see. But, ever since the king's collapse… ever since the night that Seth had carried his worn body back to his rooms and laid him in bed like a child, Atem had changed. Gone was the virile young man with the joyous laugh and quick temper. Overcome by sorrow and guilt the god-king had retreated inward, leaving behind a cold shell of a man that reminded Seth all too much of his Uncle and former King- Atem's It.

Akunumkanon had been a sadistic man who had scorned the idea of love and had used his restrictive laws and cruel ways to cultivate fear and obedience from family and subjects alike. It had been because of him that he and Atem had been denied the gods' blessings… that they had been forced to tryst in secret. Yet they had managed to do so, living for the day when Atem would rise to the throne and repeal the law against same sex marriage. However, the strain of maintaining the forbidden relationship, combined with the pressures of his priestly training, eventually wore on Seth until one night, driven by desperation, he had prayed to the gods to bring an end to his torment.

Their answer had come in the form of Kisara, the daughter of a visiting nobleman from Nekhen. The young priest had fallen for her instantly, her icy beauty and haughty demeanor matching his own so perfectly that he could not deny himself that she was a gift from the gods. Despite the fact that, by then, Akunumkanon had passed and Atem was king, he had asked for her hand and she had accepted.

Immediately he had gone to Atem, requesting an end to their troth. After an emotional confrontation, Atem had agreed and Seth had taken Kisara as his own. Not wanting to anger the gods by slighting their gift, Seth had told his Hemet about Atem and their broken troth. Kisara had taken the news calmly as was her wont, but had insisted that, save for his priestly duties, her Hi not see his ex-lover again. Reluctantly Seth had agreed and, while it had pained him to be so completely separated from the other young man, for the first time in his life he had felt at peace. But he had never ~truly~ abandoned Atem, the well being of his cousin ~always~ weighed heavily on his mind. Carefully, so as not to raise suspicion from either his Hemet or his king, Seth had kept watch on his former lover, anxious to see him content and happy once again.

About two weeks after Yugi's passing, Seth had begun to notice the change. At first he had left the god-king alone, knowing that Atem was strong in faith and would turn to his father Ra for guidance. But when Atem-Nisu began to miss worship, the High Priest had ~known~ that he had to intervene. For the first time since their bonding, Seth had broken his word to Kisara and had deliberately sought out his cousin, only to be told coldly to go back to his wife… his `soul mate'. It was then that Seth had realized that Atem was mourning ~more~ than just the loss of his Sen… that he had truly meant what he had cried out the night of his collapse: his heart was empty and broken and he had ~nothing~ to fill or mend it.

From that point on, when the High Priest had prayed to Ra, he had prayed not only for Atem-Nisu, but for the shattered man that his cousin Atem had become. And finally, after weeks of supplication, Seth had been pointed the way. Yesterday morning, as he had walked through the gardens on his way to temple, his eyes had beheld a vision. At first he had thought he was dreaming… that the gods had sent an apparition designed to punish him for breaking his word to Kisara. For, upon seeing the specimen of male perfection kneeling amongst the sedges at the edge of the reflecting pool, the stab of lust that had shot through him had stopped his heart and stolen his very breath away. Immediately his hand had shot out, staying the movement of the servant to his left. In a voice hoarse with desire he'd demanded to know whom the stranger was that had so easily penetrated Atem-Nisu's sanctuary. Upon learning that the man was Yugi's mourning lover and that he had permission to be there, Seth had reluctantly torn his eyes away and continued on to perform his daily rite of worship.

Once inside the temple he had fallen to task, his speech and movements lacking their usual grace and fluidness- so entranced he had been by Katenen's beauty. And then, as he had knelt in prayer it had happened. Another vision, this one ~truly~ an apparition, had flashed before his closed eyes as brightly as the sun flashing off of the white desert sands. Instantly he had fallen prostrate, praising Ra for his infinite wisdom and mercy as the vision of Atem clasping Katenen to his chest seared itself into his mind. Once his duties had been completed, Seth had returned to his rooms and had demanded that the man in charge of keeping Katenen be brought to his chambers.

Finally stepping away from his hiding place, Seth entered the antechamber, his elegant features schooled into an impassive expression. Herihor immediately rose to his feet and bowed at the waist, remaining in the humbling position until the High Priest spoke.

"You may rise." The stocky brunette did as commanded, straightening himself but not daring to look the taller man in the eye. His obvious nervousness earned him a chuckle from the priest. "Contrary to what you have heard, I am human and I do not bite," Seth said, chuckling again as startled hazel eyes flicked to his face and dropped just as rapidly. "Now come," he continued, his voice softening slightly, "It is impolite not to make eye contact whilst speaking to another." Hesitantly Herihor raised his eyes, shock once again registering as he realized that the High Priest was smiling at him. "Do you know why you have been summoned to me?"

"N…no, Your Excellency," The taller brunette sighed lightly upon hearing the trepidation in the others voice.

"What is your name? Seth demanded gently.

"Herihor, Your Excellency."

"Herihor, do not be afraid; you have done nothing wrong. Rest assured, you are here because the gods have destined you to be here." Seth watched as his guest, after another brief moment of shock, accepted the statement as truth and finally began to relax. "That's better. Now; tell me what you can of the man called Katenen." The taller brunette watched amusedly as the guard's honest eyes went from startled to confused to relieved within a matter of seconds. "Go on," he prodded, emphasizing his request with an encouraging nod.

Hesitantly Herihor began to speak, his voice and expression becoming more animated the further he got into his topic. It quickly became obvious to Seth that the guard thought highly of his charge and, when the shorter man paused for a breath, he asked him as much. "You have grown fond of him, haven't you?" the High Priest smirked slightly as a telltale blush coloured Herihor's cheeks. Seth had done his research; he knew of the guard's `history'.

"My Hemet and I ~both~ have," the stocky man replied defensively, only to pale as soon as the words left his mouth and he remembered to whom it was he was speaking.

"Do not worry," Seth assured, his lips curving into a conspiratorial smile, "I too love my Hemet, but I couldn't help but feel an… attraction when I first saw Katenen. He is a beautiful man."

"He is a ~good~ man as well," Herihor stated earnestly. "It easy to see why Yugi Re-Pat loved him as he did." The guard winced at the sorrow that filled the High Priest's eyes upon the mention of his cousin. "I… I am sorry; I did not mean to…" Seth cut him off with a sad smile and a wave of his hand.

"Do not be sorry," he sighed, "But please, ease my heart and my mind by telling me what you know of my cousin and his Merwet."

"I do not know much," Herihor admitted softly. "The passing of Yugi Re-Pat's Ka is still too new for Katenen… still too painful..." Hazel eyes softened in sympathy as they watched the disappointment flicker in the High Priest's eyes. "But if it will truly ease your mind then I will tell you what I know. Katenen is a healer, one whose skill surpasses that of even my Anhay." Seth watched the flicker of pride in the young guard's eyes that appeared as he spoke of his Hemet. "His skill is so great that several believe that he is descended from Sekhmet directly."

"How do you know of his skill?" Seth interrupted curiously. "Is he that vain of a man that he boasts of his own capabilities?" Sapphire eyes widened slightly as a short bark of laughter escaped the guard.

"Hardly." Despite the fact that Herihor was no longer laughing, a slight smile remained on his lips. "Quite the opposite, in fact. I have ~never~ met a man as humble as Katenen- when it comes to himself, that is. No," he sighed, the smile finally fading away, "When my charge continued to remain silent about himself, I took it upon myself to find out what I could. My search for information led me to the site where the new temple of healing is being erected. The men there informed me of Katenen's skill; of how, out of all of the healers on site, he was the most sought after when injury and illness occurred." Abruptly Herihor switched topic. "Forgive me, Your Excellency, but do you recall who was responsible for over-seeing the construction of temples in our city?" Seth gave the man a curious look, and then suddenly comprehension dawned in his eyes.

"Yugi," he breathed softly, watching as the guard gave a confirming nod. "Then… ~that~ is how the two met?" The high priest continued as if speaking to himself. "Of course it is." A soft smile momentarily graced his lips. "How like my cousin to ensure the blessing of Sekhmet by having healers involved in the construction of her temple." Again Herihor nodded.

"I am not sure how it happened," he said, a telltale blush creeping onto his face once again, "But I can only imagine Yugi Re- Pat's reaction upon spying Katenen amongst the healers gathered there." A shudder of pleasure imperceptibly ran through Seth's body as he pictured the blonde kneeling in the sands of the temple site to administer treatment; a beautiful rose amongst harsh desert thorns. Blinking the vision away, he turned his attention back to the guard. "According to Katenen," Herihor continued, "Yugi Re-Pat became injured during an inspection and demanded the best healer on site to be brought to him." This time it was Seth's turn to laugh.

"If you knew my cousin as I did," he began dryly upon seeing Herihor's confusion, "you would be laughing as well. I'm sure Yugi's `injury' was carefully orchestrated, if not entirely fabricated, for the sole purpose of having Katenen brought before him." After a moment, Herihor joined the priest's laughter.

"Oddly enough, my charge claims the same thing." Once again, the stocky brunette's laughter faded. "According to Katenen, that was all it had taken. Almost as if deigned by Sekhmet herself, they fell instantly in love. They were together for exactly one year. The two had agreed to meet at the construction site to celebrate their year's anniversary." Again the shorter man's face colored slightly. "They were exiting the temple after their tryst when a large pile of stone broke loose and began to descend on Yugi Re-Pat. Katenen pushed him away and placed himself between the slide and his Merwet…" Herihor paused and shuddered slightly, his eyes darkening in sorrow. "Anhay is ~still~ mending his body of its bruises." Giving himself a slight shake he continued. "Once the slide stayed, Katenen opened his eyes to the sight of Yugi Re-Pat in the throes of death; the fangs of the asp that had lain hidden in the sedges still sunk into his calf." Herihor paused and gave a sad sigh. "Other than that, I know little more, save for what I hear when the sorrow disturbs his dreams and he cries out at night." The guard's kind eyes hardened slightly. "It is hard to ignore the desperate words of a broken man, ~despite~ what those words might be."

The change in Herihor's demeanor instantly sent up a warning flag in Seth's mind. "And what might those words be?" he asked warily, holding up a hand to stay the other man's protest. "Rest assured, I will not hold you responsible for what you are about to speak." Herihor drew a deep breath and began.

"He speaks of a troth between you and Atem," he stated, pausing to gauge the High Priest's reaction before continuing. "One that somehow harmed Yugi Re-Pat. He speaks of the troth being broken…" Herihor swallowed harshly. "Of how Atem-Nisu is weak. He speaks of how Yugi Re-Pat was forced to keep him from his Sen… of how they were forced to tryst in secret. He berates himself that he could not save Yugi Re-Pat, and then rages that the king is truly to blame for the death of his Merwet." The guard sighed heavily. "At one point the nightmares had almost dissipated." Herihor's voice grew thick with sorrow. "But now, as the time for Yugi Re-Pat's entombment draws near, and with it, the pronouncement of Katenen's fate, they've returned." Suddenly the guard's voice dropped to a whisper. "But it's not only that. Katenen… he's ~changed~. He used to be so open and honest… so full of ~life~. But now he's…"

"Retreated into himself?" Seth finished quietly, smiling sadly as the guard's honest eyes confirmed his statement. "I thought as much. Atem has ~also~ succumbed to his grief in that manner." The vision from earlier that morning flashed before his eyes. "Truly the gods are amazing," he continued, almost as if to himself. Suddenly the High Priest became almost business like in nature. "Herihor, what would you say if I told you that I knew what would heal both your charge and your King… that the gods have shown me the way?" As succinctly as possible Seth told him of his vision. "It is obvious that the two of them are destined for each other," he concluded. Looking into Herihor's eyes, the priest was surprised to see an expression of angry reluctance. "What is it?" he pressed.

"It would appear to me that Atem Nisu has done nothing but further Katenen's grief," the shorter man began, careful to keep the resentment out of his voice. "Not only did my king insult him by ~repeatedly~ denying his words were true, he has essentially kept him captive here against his will, without ~any~ indication as to what his fate might be." Slowly a heat crept into Herihor's voice. "Last night I found Katenen weeping, bemoaning the fact that his Merwet's entombment is less that seven days hence and that he won't be allowed to attend in the manner required to personally bid his farewell. Add to that the fact that Katenen truly feels that Atem Nisu is responsible for Yugi Re-Pat's death and, despite the respect I have for you and the gods, I fail to see how your plan could do anything but cause him more pain. And that," Herihor concluded, his face pale but resolute, "is something I ~refuse~ to allow."

Seth was somewhat taken aback that the young guard would dare to speak in such a manner. His intense blue eyes surveyed the man in front of him. There was no hint of defiance or disrespect in Herihor's face, just a strong expression of loyalty, love, and commitment for the man in his keep. "I like you, Herihor," Seth finally replied. "More than that, I respect you." The High Priest's eyes and voice both took on a slight warning note. "But do ~not~ think that I will tolerate insubordination because of that. I have no desire to deepen Katenen's grief," he continued, "I wish only to heal both him ~and~ my cousin." Seth smirked slightly. "But if the word of your High Priest is not enough on that matter, then perhaps a change of post might convince you. Donkor," he called out, summoning one of his servants from outside the antechamber, "Send Chigaru to collect the man called Katenen. Once he has returned, take both him and the guard called Herihor to the throne room. Atem Nisu and I will be waiting." Sparing the shorter brunette one last enigmatic glance, Seth arose from his seat and swept out of the room, leaving Herihor to wait once again.

**tbc**

Ka- Life Force

It- Father

Hi- Husband

Nisu- King

Sen- Brother

Hemet- Wife

Re-Pat- Prince

Merwet- Love

Sekhmet- Goddess of Healing