Domination

Thanks go, yet again, to my wonderful Beta and friend Ayod Botla for combing over all these chapters and willingly letting me bounce ideas off of her. Also a veritable gold-mine of character and story information, which I have very little of.

I only have a little time for writing now and exams are looming so I have even less so be patient for an update. An 8-page chapter once a month is adequate I hope. Anyway, hope you enjoy this and please leave a comment.

Domination: Chapter 4

Morning came cheerful and bright as ever, the sun almost mocking as it shone joyfully down upon the exhausted figures. Bakura walked impossibly close to Yami as they closed the final few meters to the back door of the Game Shop. Casting weary eyes onto the other as they stopped with their boots touching the welcome mat, a dry smirk tugged half-heartedly at his lips.

“Sleep; you look like you’ve been run over by a camel. Call the house if you want me to come back,” he offered genuinely, his arms slack at his sides as he watched the shorter teen turn to face

Scrubbing a hand up across his face and through his unruly bangs, Yami nodded slightly before looking at the door anxiously. He didn’t want to go in there. Not after the way he had left Yugi yesterday.

Bakura noticed his apprehension. “Want me to come in with you?”

“No. No-I’m fine. Thank you.” A dry, humourless laugh before he spoke again. “Thank you for everything.”

Grunting slightly in acceptance, Bakura glanced about his surroundings in an uninterested manner before turning on his heel and making his way back onto the street. Yami watched him leave before turning back to face the door. Reaching out a hand, he played a hunch and was found correct when the door opened under the light pressure of his fingers.

Inside was warm, quiet and empty, unsurprising as the sun had only been up for a few scant hours. If Yugi had indeed gotten any sleep last night, which Yami guilty doubted, he wouldn’t be up yet. Which left the ancient spirit alone with his thoughts until he felt ready to face his Hikari.

After leaving the mansion, something that he only vaguely remembered in the deepest recesses of his mind, Bakura had carried him to a nearby building. After breaking in, which only took seconds given the Tomb Raider’s skills, the snow-haired spirit had simply sat holding Yami against him until he broke out of the mild trance he had slipped into.

He had broken down again then, not tears of frustration and anger though, but of self-pity, despair and fear. Bakura had said nothing until he was done, knowing that he needed this release and made idle circles in his scalp with his fingertips as he wept. When he was emotionally exhausted he had expected himself to simply fall asleep but his mind was alive with too many conflicting thoughts to allow him that comfort.

So he and Bakura had talked. It was straightforward, civil conversation that was both frank and honest asy piy picked apart what had happened and theorised what was going to happen next. No fighting, no insults, just talking. Bakura’s intelligence and sheer understanding had once again surprised Yami as he spoke, seemingly knowing exactly what to say and at what moment to say it.

He knew too much in fact. Yami knew that the Tomb Raider had been attacked in the same way as he had at some time, and now more than ever he was curious to know about that incident. Bakura never spoke of it so Yami never pressed, but he had obviously dealt with it eventually. ‘Perhaps that’s why I want to ask him. I need to know that this is all going to get better.’

Shaking away his thoughts, Yami shut the door completely behind him and started towards the table intending to down a few gallons of coffee before facing the rest of the world. Pulling a mug aside from the cluster left on the table, he turned to face the countertop to make the coffee but froze when a flash of steel caught his eyes.

A butcher’s knife, the largest they owned, laid next to the cutting board on the counter, it surface smeared by the fat of some animal and its handle worn from use. There was no beauty to the instrument; it was basic and dirty. But the elegance of its blade and the simplicity of its purpose had Yami transfixed.

Long, smooth, light to handle and sturdy to grip; an impressive tool in many respects. It cleaved flesh from bone and opened multiple, ‘things’, be those what they may. Thoughts other than the standard as to what that knife was good for cutting came to Yami’s mind and for a moment he was lost in his thoughts, transfixed in mind and paralysed in body.

It would be so easy to pick the instrument up and grant himself a few moments of relief; a twisted kind of pleasure that would drive all of the thoughts that he didn’t want to have there out of his mind. It could bring a sharp, searing quirk of a sensation that would capture the attention of even the most ignorant mind.

Distraction, escape, release, and a thousand other things that he desperately sought for, craved even, could be accomplished through a single, simple action. He’d been along a dark path before and like lightning, this had brought him a light. It wasn’t a comforting, stable or even good light, but it was there. It was a shred of control and freedom in a void of chaos, pain and misery.

But there was the problem. He had been down a path similar to the one he was walking now. He knew that it was only momentary and that it wasn’t a real answer; merely an enticement for false freedom. Perhaps even pleasure in a twisted way.

It would take him back to square one meaning that he would have to start all over again; the loss of control, the wounds deeper and longer and wider and harder to hide, more damage, more punishment, more pain. But still no release that was of any significance when compared to the impenetrable blackness around him. A few moments of drunken relief and then dripping wounds and a cold knot in his stomach that would ensure that he paid for those few moments dearly.

Still, it was deliciously tempting. Only a yard away; staring at him, daring him; so simple and straightforward. He’d done it before and come through it more or less intact, but was it worth it overall? After last night the answer to that question had become open to dispute.

Frozen, Yami found himself unable to move as the war in his mind raged. He was afraid to pick it up, even to put it away, because he *knew* that he would use it against himself. But he was also afraid to walk away because if he did he would be turning his back on the only truly effective release he knew.

He was trapped by his own emotions once again. ‘How ironic’.

His fingers twitched at this side as he stood staring, a niggle from the Puzzle telling him that Yugi was near him now. His Hikari stood unmoving in the doorway, his shirt crumpled and face pale, hardly daring to breathe as he regarded his Dark.

He knew that Yami had sensed his presence although the troubled spirit had made no indication of it. He was afraid to speak or move for fear of bringing the conflict in Yami’s spirit to an abrupt end that would result in a hasty movement and bleeding cuts.

After long moments that felt like an eternity to both halves, Yugi worked up the courage to form words and allow them to escape his lips. “Can you..?” he asked hesitantly, his eyes large as his gaze flickered between the large knife and Yami who still seemed unable to take his eyes off of it.

“No,” Yami replied flatly. He didn’t know what the end of that question was going to be before Yugi trailed off but he could take several educated guesses; can you ‘walk away’, ‘put it away’, ‘resist’? He had given the correct response to all of those so he did nothing but continue to stare at the alluring blade as Yugi approached him from his side without vacillation.

Picking up the knife, Yugi slipped it into the sink and out of Yami’s view, biting his lip when he heard the genuinely relieved sigh from his Dark half from behind him. Turning back to face Yami, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his waist, needing to receive reassurance as well as give it. He was afraid now; afraid for his Dark in that he would even want to go back down that road. But he was also afraid for himself. He worried so much for Yami, he didn’t know how he’d cope if Yami got that ‘bad’ again.

And he was curious too, a dangerous kind of curiosity which meant that he would never ask it aloud. He didn’t understand why Yami felt tempted, driven at one time to use blades upon himself. It scared him that something which was obviously a very powerful force within the elder spirit’s being was completely beyond his comprehension and understanding. Perhaps he should ask Bakura about it. ‘The Tomb Raider seems to be all-knowing about pretty much everything else about my Yami’ he thought a little bitterly, and he tightened his arms possessively around his other.

“Thank you,” Yami murmured after a moment, making no move to break the embrace as he let his hands sit lightly on Yugi’s shoulders. The relief that he felt when the object of his temptation was hidden from his view was unquestionable. It terrified him that the simple idea of harming himself had been so desirous to him. A few days ago he could handle a blade without feeling that craving, although it did remind him of what he had done before. ‘Bakura’s right; I am slipping’.

Nodding quickly, Yugi stepped away from him and looked him up and down, seemingly trying to assess his condition. He looked weary and saddened, eyes duller than normal and his posture not as regal. His jacket had disappeared at some point leaving tanned arms riddled with fading marks clearly visible. Usually Yami went out of his way to keep the scars covered, but this morning he seemed tooed ted to care. That or he just didn’t give a damn at the moment. But there were no new physical injuries meaning that he and Bakura hadn’t fought last night.

Yugi couldn’t know if this had been the first time since he stopped that Yami had been seriously tempted to harm himself again; Yami never spoke of it and either gave a reassuring smile at or completely ignored the enquiring looks that his Hikari gave him when an idle hand glided up and touched one through his sleeve. Still, he hadn’t done anything to himself recently, which was a vast relief.

“Where were you last night?” the shorter teen asked finally, resisting the urge to cross his arms in fear that Yami would react badly to the gesture. Instead he allowed his fingers to fiddle with the material of his jacket cuffs having not changed clothes since yesterday. As a matter of fact, he hadn’t done a lot of things since yesterday, sleeping for example. A pang of hunger bit at his stomach but he ignored it. The very thought of food whilst his Dark had been missing all night had made him nauseous.

Sighing tiredly and repeating his earlier gesture, Yami rubbed at his eye with the heel of his hand before dragging his fingers through his hair as he sat down at the table. “I don’t know. Somewhere. I’m sorry I scared you,” he said genuinely, meeting violet eyes with bright red ones.

“You scared all of us! I couldn’t find you and you put up that wagaiagain so I didn’t know if you were hurt or not! Yami why didn’t you tell me you were still so upset by all of this?” He sounded angry and on some deep level he was. But mostly Yugi just felt scared. He didn’t know what was causing Yami’s regression back to this dark state and he felt helpless in trying to stop it. He wanted an explanation and a reassurance that this would stop, and soon. He needed to see life in his Dark again, light and fire instead of this defeated attitude.

But then again Yami was never going to be the same again after Kresha took him, particularly the second time that led to his serious attempt at suicide. Yugi felt a niggle of guilt as he realised the selfishness and utter inconsideration in what he was thinking. After last night Yami had every right to be as withdrawn and saddened as he wanted. Yugi didn’t need the spirit to be his guardian fow aow anyway, if anything their roles had radically reversed. He shoul wan want reassurance at the moment when Yami needed so much support and as he acknowledged that Yugi found himself watching for the other’s reaction with trepidation.

Barely reacting to the heated words, Yami’s eyes were on the floor as he stared, turning the words over in his mind. He couldn’t understand how his Hikari was tolerating hihavihaviour, which he himself was disgusted by. His Light was innocent and pure, too easily affected by another’s misery and the last thing Yami wanted was to hurt him. Surely Yugi felt some need to distance and protect himself from what he was going through? But he had shouted at his darker side for putting up barriers to save him from his torments last night so Yugi felt angry at him for being protected. ‘By Ra this is confusing’ Yami mused absently.

“Well?” Yugi prompted, fear and a little anger, either at Yami or himself he didn’t know, making the words fleeting as he spoke before thought came and he regretted the verbal shove immediately. Not that Yami seemed to have heard it. The spirit said something in a low voice that his ears didn’t quite catch and he asked him in a smalice ice to repeat himself.

“Why do you even bother?” Yami asked louder, his head rising and tipping to the side as he put the question forth, genuinely wanting an answer.

“Really Hikari, I’m not worth this. You, are beautiful and pure and I’m just going to destroy you. I am filthy and *tainted* and I don’t know how to fix that right now. I can’t protect you and the others if I’m risking you with my very *presence*, Yugi. I can stop this affecting you though, but you’re not letting me. I’m not sure what’s happening to me but I *know* that I’m not going to let you get dragged down with me. I’m a selfish bastard and I want you with me through all this. But you just *can’t* get involved in this.”

He had started pacing at some point, avoiding Yugi’s eyes and gesturing with stiff hands as he spoke in rambling sentences that came from his mind and soul raw and unrefined, obviously his mind in a similar state to last night where had moved in just the same manner. Like a trapped animal, except he felt trapped in what he was saying. Yami was trying to say something that he didn’t know how to put into words to get his meaning and intention across affectively.

Finally he stopped and just stared at his Light, eyes hooded and arms slack. After ag pag pause through which his breathing seemed to be the loudest, he spoke again in a softer voice trying to reach the smaller teen and to make him understand.

“I need to go off in the middle of the night and walk for miles without actually getting anywhere. I need to hit Bakura until my knuckles bleed or until my strength gives out and we just talk. I need to cry, *damnit*. And I need you to stay away so I can do all this without you getting involved. I *know* you know that but I don’t see why you’re trying so hard to understand.”

Taking a moment to digest those words, Yugi blinked back tears of confusion, sadness and mild shock. Closing the short distance between them in smooth steps, he took Yami’s cool hands in his own and stared up at the wan face in a manner that was a mixture of defiance and imploring.

“I want to understand because I *care*. Yami, I love you as a part of myself and I can’t just watch as you break apart like this. I want to help you and so does everybody else. We all want to help you, you know that. If you need to do all those things then you should. If you think you should go away for a bit to get yourself back together with Bakura or-or Joey, then go. But don’t just shut me out. You’re hurting me more by blocking me than letting me see.”

Yami had no idea what to say to that so he merely slipped his hands free from his Light’s and wound them around his back, bringing Yugi into a comforting embrace. “I. I didn’t know,” he admitted eventually, the closest he was going to give to an apology right then. He didn’t feel sorry for pushing Yugi away from him; he felt sorry for inadvertently causing him pain.

Yugi had been about to reply into the damp shirt when an unusually loud noise from the letterbox and the sound of something heavy connecting with the floor broke the air. Giving a gentle squeeze before releasing his Dark, Yugi walked out of the kitchen towards the door. Stopping in front of Joey who stood beside the door, he frowned at the videotape in his hands.

“Joey?” he asked, violet eyes narrowing slightly with curiosity. He had a bad feeling about this.

The blond shrugged slightly. “It just has some writin’ on it. Can’t read it though. Looks like little pictures.”

Stepping out of the living room, Bakura moved up from behind Joey and glanced at the cassette, his slender brow quirking up in surprise as he saw the etchings on the label.

“That’s because it’s Hieroglyphics, Pup,” he stated flatly, deftly reaching for it and snatching it away in one movement. Walking towards Yami who stood in the doorway leading to the kitchen, he stood at his side and twirled the piece of plastic in his fingers.

“Felt that my Hikari was here. Came in the front way before you ask,” Bakura told him before Yami could speak, his narrowed eyes still on the tape as he spoke. Yami snorted slightly but said nothing.

Satisfied when he came to the conclusion that it was just a tape and that the content was all that they need worry about, the snow-haired thief handed it to Yami whilst looking back to Yugi and Joey.

“It says ‘Play Me’ and I can’t see anything wrong with it,” he stated simply leaving them to figure out the rest. Crossing his arms and leaning against the doorframe, he looked to Yami nonchalantly and watched as the former Pharaoh performed his own analysis.

Eyes closed, the spirit had two fingers hovering millimetres above the plastic surface, the twin eyes of Horus glowing faintly on his forehead and the Puzzle. After a few moments he brought his hand back to his side and handed the tape back to Bakura, crimson eyes meeting Joey’s evenly. He’d had a suspicion that the group would have stayed here with Yugi and he was grateful to them for it, but he was a little worried that they had overheard what had been said in the kitchen.

“It’s fine. There’s a trace of, something though. It’s old and familiar but I can’t tell what it is exactly,” he announced still trying to get his mind to work about the sensation. It hissed and burned at him, the fading touch of an old and powerful magic-user. Shaking it aside he set his mind on what it could be.

“Maybe it’s Shadi,” Joey suggested as they all began to make their way into the living room where Ryou, Anzu, and Honda sat watching them silently. “Or Pegasus. I doubt he’d just give up on the Eye. Maybe he’s after Bakura.”

Yami remained standing behind the sofa, keeping it between himself and the others. The realisation that his arms were hideously exposed to all of the group jolted him more than he had thought and he crossed them instantly, hiding the majority of the old wounds. As if sensing his discomfort, the eyes left him and everyone focused on Bakura who was making his way to the television.

“Now there’s a comforting thought,” Bakura muttered in a low voice as he knelt down to slot the tape into the machine. Flicking on the television screen, he stepped back so that they could all see and stood beside Yami with his arms crossed, mirroring the other’s position and train-of-thought perfectly. Curious and suspicious of what this tape held, all pairs of eyes waited as the screen crackled white before flickering to black and then to a picture.

Yami’s eyes instantly widened and his eyes dropped limply when he recognized the room the screen showed, the angle coming from a high angle in the corner. The same solid door stood at the very top of the screen and the filthy bed dominated the left hand side, the mere sight of it making his stomach twist in a cold, unforgiving movement.

He felt Yugi grip his forearm when the door opened and he saw himself being thrust into the room by Kresha, his pale face as clear on the screen as the terror his features held. Joey was already scrambling to remove the horrifying images before they could progress but Bakura beat him to it, jerking his hand and causing the screen to die with a low whine.

No one moved and no one seemed to dare look at him. Honda looked angry and Anzu terrified. Yugi was fighting tears as the memories of how they found Yami a few minutes after that scene replayed themselves. Joey stood slowly and cast his eyes of Yugi before finally gathering the courage to look to Yami. Bakura busied himself with removing the tape and holding it in trembling hands, glaring at the thing as he barely resisted the urge to snap it over his knee. They might be able to find out where it came from and then he’d ram it down the throat of whoever sent it.

Everyone had been too caught up in their own shock to notice that Yami had moved. Where Joey had lunged at the screen Yami had backed away from it, stopping only when his back met the wall that he now leant against heavily. Eyes wide and mouth slightly open, his gaze was still fixed on the blank screen.

Shock had been his initial reaction, then absolute horror at being confronted with what had been one of the most desperate moments of his existence. Mind reeling, he felt his thoughts slowly gather back together and then a sense of impending doom settled in his stomach, leaving it light and watery. He suddenly felt extremely sick.

“Yami?” Yugi asked quietly, moving towards him slowly with his hands out to him, reaching as if to touch him. The rest of the group hovered back a few meters, watching the pair anxiously.

Blinking, the voice helped to startle his mind into working properly again and a conclusion rapidly materialised. Crimson eyes snapped onto his Hikari’s significantly softer ones and he spoke words of damnation instead of comfort and reassurance, voicing what his mind had somehow forced itself to register.

“There was a camera in that room.”

****

Yes, unlike ‘Submission’, ‘Domination’ is going to have a much stronger plot. This is an evil cliffy but the next one will be, if all goes to plan, worse. This chapter did not want to be written but I’ll make up for any weakness next time. Chapter 5 has a lot of Yami/Bakura interaction, which seems to be going over well with everyone so far. Leave a review but don’t send me any plot suggestions please; I have already got most of this fic planned out. Some constructive words would be nice though. Thanks again!