Jouyouheki: The Series

I had to force myself to write this chapter. Why? Because I made a promise it'd be out by Wednesday, and I wont be here at my mom's on that day, I'll be at my dads and I doubt I'd had time to finish it tomorrow (Tuesday). So here you go, as my promise!

Well, here it is everyone! The fifth chapter!

Now everyone has a choice. Either A) this will be the last chapter, or B) there will be one last chapter and it will have a lemon in it.

Only one problem: I can not write a lemon for my life. So if anyone wanted to volunteer e-mail me at cosmicrose77 @ yahoo . com (without the spaces of course ^^) or IM me on AIM at Midnyteway.

Okand Ind I have no idea when I'll post Koinu Kifuu, I can seem to get the second chapter down, and I have one more thing!

If anyone, anyone at all wants to be the editor and help with my spelling mistakes, gammar mistakes, etc and even my beta-reader that tells me what I should improve on, what doesn't need to be put in there. E-mail me or IM me! ^^ Thank you!

Okay, no more waiting! Here is the fifth chapter!!

Oh, one last thing! (LOL!) I put something extra in the end that I didn't put int he second chapter. It's a poem I WROTE! I wrote it, got that? It is copywrited to me! (okay, not legally but you know what I mean) In fact it is the only thing copywrited to me, besides the plot line. . . hehe. . .

ON WITH THE CHAPPY!!!

****Start!!!!*****

Kaiba leaned casually against his black Mercedes, a small white envelope held tightly in his hands, too afraid to open it.

He didn’t feel the need to open it. He didn’t want to get hurt again and Katsalrealready probably ripped his up. Fen, it was simple logic. After all, Katsuya did hate him.

Why wouldn’t he hate him? It was plain as day, dark as night, in black and white. Katsuya hated him, because of his cruel ways, how he used him so easily. Made him weak like someone who couldn’t stand up to a bully, or when the world puts you down over and over again, you feel weak and useless and just want to end your life right there. That is how he felt how he made Katsuya feel. Maybe he even made him feel a bit scared at times, is that even possibly? That he made Katsuya scared? No, no, wait!

He isn’t talking about Katsuya at all! He is talking about himself, and that made him dread this now. . .


*****Seto’s POV****

What am I doing? I’m talking about myself? Not you! I’m not talking about you! I’m the real weak one; the real scared one, because the truth is I’m scared to love. I’m scared to love. It makes me weak and sick thinking about it. . . I’m talking about my self. . . Not you, I’m so sorry. Can you ever forgive me Katsuya, my koinu, my beloved? I beI bet you can’t. Why should you anyways? I used you for Jesus Christ! (Don’t mean to take the name in vein, sorry, I just do that sometimes.) I let myself control you, take advantage of you! To tell you the truth, you shouldn’t forgive me! You should forget about me! I know you already have.

I mean what is there to love about me? I’m a bastard, that’s all to it. I’m nothing.

Katsuya, oh how I’d love to speak to you that way again, speak that name you oh so love to hear from my lips. Not mutt, not puppy, no. You’re my puppy. Don’t you understand that?

I don’t know what to say really, anymore. I wish. . . I could reverse time, but fate is not on my side today. Nothing ever is.

I grip the letter in my hand; wait the letter! The letter from you!

How could I forget about that?! Maybe you are writing to me because you want to forgive me!

Damn it Seto, get a hold of yourself! Why do I have to get this way about you? Why can’t I just keep my cruel side? I demand to know! I don’t need to get butterflies in my stomach when I think about you; I don’t need to get lightheaded when I speak about you. Oh Ra, oh Ra. You aren’t supposed to make me feel this way; I’m supposed to make you feel that way!

I look at the letter, and it is your handwriting. I know it is from you. I couldn’t replace that handwriting. It isn’t sloppy, it’s just . . . perfect.

That’s all.

I guess I have to open the letter don’t I?

My hand reaches and opens it, taking out the letter, my eyes not wanting to read the words, my brain telling me to continue on.

Dear Seto Kaiba,

I lied. Yes, lied. I lied to you.

The truth is. . . I don’t want it to end. . . Use me God damn it. Use me all you want!

Do you even understand it? I love you, and even after what you done, I still love you. I can’t find away around these words. My mind screams don’t love you, yet my heart says otherwise. Can’t you just love me then?

I shouldn’t love you at all… I shouldn’t. But I do.

You love me? You want me to use you?

But I don’t want to use you, Katsuya. I want to love you.

Yes, I said love. Don’t give me that ‘you actually love me’ look. Because you already know I do.

I know this sounds funny and all, but I remember when it all first happened. I remember every single little detail, I’m not joking. Back then where you showed love, even though the love wasn’t real and I thought it was real. . . I still remember it. I can’t forget it, I don’t want to. I want it glued to my mind forevermore and that’s it.

I’ll tell you it. Even thought you already know it, you need to hear it! Just hear me out. For once, listen to me please.

Even you can’t forget that day. That day was ial,ial, well not really. But it’s where we got into this relationship.

You know, I think there was a purpose we got into this and the reason it took you a while to figure out I was just using you.

I think the reason was because we had to find out about ourselves. To find out what we wanted, our desires. And I think we did just that.

I wanted nothing more than to hear you speak, well I wanted more, but at the time I just wanted to hear you speak to me.

“Katsuya.” You spoke my first name for the first time since I met you, and I melted. I loved how you spoke my first name, and I wanted you to say it more often. . . “I wanted to know if you wanted to come to my house after school perhaps. This was all Mokuba’s idea, and I don’t need to see that puppy dog look from him again. I give in to it all too easily.”

Inside I was jumping for joy. I was able to go to your house! Your house! Even if it wasn’t exactly what I wanted it to be, I was still going to be in your house! This was perfect chance for me to confess, but as you know I didn’t need to confess anything.

No, you didn’t need to confess anything. I all ready knew it. I knew what you wanted. I knew what you needed and I gave you just that.

And I will continue doing just that once you figure out I love you now, that I don’t want to use you.

The rest of the school day went by so slow, I was afraid I’d die before the bell rung.

But I didn’t die! Obviously. I am telling you this story, so yeah. . . Ignore me.

Wait! Don’t ignore me! I’m not done with the story yet!

Thank you.

Where was I? Oh, yes. . .

The bell did ring, after a very long five minutes. But I reached your house, a little early. . .

I think. Was I? I don’t know. . .

A laugh escapes my throat. You can be so funny at times Katsuya. That’s what I love about you.

You were so confused just as I was. But we’re not confused anymore, are we?

I made myself look shocked beyond belief, but inside my mind was racing. What things could happen when it is just you and me; in your house; all alone, no one around.

I turned around, staring at you. You could tell I was happy about this and you took a step forward.

“Mine.” That’s all I heard before you captured my lips in a bruising kiss. That’s all I wanted to here. So I’m not really sure you actually said that there. I could have been my imagination, because I so desperately wanted you to claim me. Did you say? Was it my imagination? Please tell, I need to know.

It started out exactly like my dreams, so of course at first I thought it was a dream.

You’re hands roamed over my body like you owned me, and to my intentions if you loved me, I was going to let you own me. I wouldn’t care, I’d have you. That was all I needed.

That was all you needed? Are you sure? Just to have me and that was all you needed?

Tears were in my eyes and wanted so desperately to fall, but I couldn’t let that happen, people were still in the parking lot. I can’t let them see me cry, you yes. But not them. No one but you.

I looked for my shirt and wordlessly put it on, hard and wanting to be released, I started to leave and in walked Mokuba.

Part of me was really glad that you stopped. Mokuba didn’t need to see this, but my other part was angry at you for doing this.

Mokuba was confused as I left, but a few days later it started to become a routine, but we went further than just little tortures.

You sent pleasures throughout my body with yours ways, and I always let you dominate me.

Do you understand now? Why I don’t want to give you up? Why I will let you continue with the using? Why I can’t seem to stop loving you?

You, Seto Kaiba, are toxic. You are an addiction. Addictions a habit, and habits are hard to give up right away. And I’m not willing to try to give up that addiction; I want the keep going with the addiction. You are my addiction, me way of life, you are my toxic, you keep me alive.

Wow. . . So that’s why you can’t stop loving me. . . You really don’t want to either. No! I won’t let that happen! I won’t use you again! That’s it!

But I have to continue reading the letter, I won’t stop until I have finished.

And maybe you’ll listen to this and take my word for it. And I won’t give up. Because maybe someday, somehow. . .

You’ll love me.

You’ll love me for me. Not just for your sexual pleasures.

You’ll love me.

Love,
Jounouchi Katsuya.

You’re wrong. Yes, you are wrong. I already do love you. I already do!

P.S Read the back.

I blinked. What the hell? I turned the letter around and there was a poem. A smile punctured my lips as I read it.

//My Cruel Bastard.//
//By Katsuya Jounouchi. //

//He was a cruel bastard,
Sent from the pits of hell,
Hating all who came into place,
But somehow I fell,
Fen lon love.

His heart is made of cold,
But I know if I can bring him out,
It’ll be made of gold,
I have no sense of doubt.

My fantasies, my desires
Are all about him,
They burn in my eyes like a flaming fire,
And soon they will be true.

They say you can never change a man,
For all that it is worth,
You shouldn’t go that way,
You should just keep him away.

Life’s about taking chances,
Making dangerous risks,
So why shouldn’t I take it?

After all….

He’ll be mine,
Mine and forever.

That’s cruel bastard is all mine.//

That’s exactly what I am Katsuya!! I’m your cruel bastard. Yours.

****End POV****

Seto put the letter away and smiled happily. That was it. HE had to find Katsuya, he had to.

But Fate was being kind to him and just on que Jou ran up to Seto, breathing fast.

“Seto.” He breathed out.

“Don’t say anything else.” Seto ordered and ended his sentence with a kiss.