Happy Halloween

Warning: As the title says 'Even More Victims'
The Yamis are together in a mall, with other peoples and animals...
And still without their Hikaris to keep them out of trouble!

I don't own Yugioh, and I mentioned McDonalds only at the side, I don't own that, either. I also don’t own a cloth, book or pet-shop, or anything along the line.

No animals were injured in this chapter.
But I guess you can't say the same about humans... These are Marik and Bakura on the loose, sugar-high and without supervision, after all...
And there will be swearing, and the threats of bloody, messy deaths...
And candy!

Have fun reading it ^__^

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3. Even more victims.
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"Okay, that was rather funny, but now I'm hungry!" Bakura said as they fled hastily from Kaiba's mansion.
Marik lift his shirt and patted his tummy sadly: "Yes, we are a little hungry, too, aren't we?" he asked and his stomach growled in response. The insane Yami pats it and pouted a bit: "Don't worry, I'm going to feed you soon..."

Bakura just rolled his eyes, but still walked into the mall and toward the food section.
He looked around with sparkling eyes like a little child on the Christmas morning: So many peoples.
He could clearly see them before his inner eye, running away from him and against walls, falling over railings and jumping out of windows just to get away as quickly as possible.
And all the while he would stand over them on the first floor and watch everything, his arms outstretched and laughing mad and evilly at their panic.

The thief king didn't even notice that he really started to laugh out loud for no apparent reason.
Marik blinked over at him confused from the side: "And here people call me insane..."
But he, too, started to laugh, even if he had no clue why.
It's just kind of catching...

As he heard the noise, Bakura shut up and shoot Marik and curios look: "And why are you laughing now?"
"I don't know, do I need a reason? I never needed a reason before, why do I need one now? And if I have none, can I get a reason from you, since I need a reason?"
Then he scratched his head confused:
"Ähhh... Actually, a reason for what?
You are mean, Bakura, you are just trying to confuse me!
Why do you do that?!

Anyway, I can't think properly when I'm hungry and my poor tummy growls so loud, I can't think with all the noise!
Come on, I want food!" He whined as he ignored Bakura's dark glare and he dragged him happily away with him.

But suddenly they noticed a door on the side, with the bright red words 'Do not enter!' over it.
Both looked at the letters, then at each other, and then at the letters again, identical smirks on their faces.
Food was forgotten for the moment, since they found something more interesting.
"Do you see the same thing I see?"
"If you see an invitation to go in and take a look, then yes, I see the same thing as you..."

Quickly Bakura looked right and left before he opened the door and slipped inside.
Curios and pondering Marik watched the peoples walking by.
How many of them will give them sweets later, and how many will they have to play a prank on?
He didn't notice that Bakura wasn't there anymore until he grabbed him by the collar and dragged him through the door:
"What the hell are you doing, do you want us to get caught? I don't want to get kicked out of here; I have some plans for those pathetic mortals! If you mess it up, you don't need to worry about your hungry stomach, because I cut it open and you will never ever need to eat!!"

And then the door closed behind them...

The hall before them had duller lights then the rest of the mall where the customers are, with all its bright lights and the big glass roof.
This hall seems to be for there only for worker, for the security guards or for the fire department or doctors, in case of an emergency.
So they can reach the shops through the back doors should something happen.
(Like two sugar-high Yami's running amok…?)

It wasn't long before they found the headquarter of the security guards at the end of the hall.
And to take it over was really child's play, with Marik and his nice, shiny, golden toy.
"If Kaiba can do that, then we can, too!
How hard can it possible be to push a few buttons and close a few doors, so no one can escape us!"

They sat down with wide smirks behind the big, pretty, colorful blinking consoles, while the guards waited with blank eyes and empty faces in a corner for orders.
Orders, which hopefully will never come...

"Hey, Bakura, do you think I can push this button? This nice yellow one over there, with all the blue ones around it?" Marik asked with his head tilt to the side and he pointed with his finger at a certain button.
The thief shoots him a short look and then just hit down with his fist at the button. That he also got Marik's finger was 'pure coincidence'.
And of course he was not laughing about Marik's cry of pain.
Of course not!
It was just pure coincidence that he has just now remembered something funny...
Marik shoot him a hurt, moping look.
Which of course got ignored by Bakura, like always.

Nothing happened...

Bakura and Marik blinked confused at each other:
Such a nice, colorful, bright, blinking, peeping button, and then nothing happens?
How mean!!!!...

Sulking Marik crossed his arms over his chest: "That's sooo mean! The button doesn't like me, it doesn't do anything! Tell him to do something, I want it to do something!
I demand it, or I go and tell my Light about it!" He whined, and Bakura rolled his eyes:
"Then try another button, if it means so much to you! And stop whining and crying, are you a Yami or a toddler?"

Marik stopped whimpering and hit a few times with his flat palm at the console. He growled threateningly, and luckily he got a reaction this time:
The lights in the whole building started to flutter, and the green signs of the emergency exits blinked happily.
The escalators stopped suddenly while the electronic doors at the entrances opened and closed randomly.
But that was about all.
No fleeing humans, no sudden fire or explosions, no floodings and the roof didn't cave in either.
It was somewhat disappointing...

By now the tomb robber found a microphone to play with. Normally it was used to make announcements at the whole mall at the same time in an emergency...
Marik looked at him with wide eyes: "What do you think, could you call this an emergency?
I mean, it is about our candy!
You could call this an emergency, right? If not, I can make one out of it, I'm good at causing emergencies, I have lots of experience with that!"
The white-haired Yami grabbed the microphone and coughed a bit for his 'great performance'.
He didn't pay any attention to Marik beside him, who jumped up and down on his chair like a little monkey, wanting to have a turn as well.

"Welcome, my pathetic- I mean my dear- mortals!
Now listen, and listen well, because this is the great king of the thieves speaking to you!"
"And Marik is of course also here! Hi, can you hear me? I'm here, too, so don't forget about me! I will come and get you all!" Marik cut in happily and tore the microphone from Bakura's hand to say something, too.
But sadly he couldn't keep it for long, as the thief got it back with a snarl:
"Just ignore that psycho; you just have to worry about him when you ever meet him out in the streets in dark and moonless nights.
And not for very long, then, because he is always quick with the kill.
He has no sense for the fine details, that Yami.
Everything has to be quick, quick, and he never makes time to really enjoy it!
You have to take your time, instead of just making a quick bloodbath, leaving a lot of traces and body-parts behind and in the end maybe even get your Light in trouble for it because some crazy asshole confuses us.
You have to enjoy the cries and the torture and still work clean and properly!"

He cast him a reproachful glare as the spiky-haired Blond tried again to get a hold on the shiny microphone to say something stupid and pushed his wandering hand away.
As he noticed that he got rather sidetracked Bakura shock his head with a growl.

"Well, whatever, you can worry about him when the time comes.
But for now you will listen to me, and try to understand and remember my words:

As you may, or may not, know:
Today is Halloween!
And what does that mean for you, my dear little humans out there?
Exactly, that means Tick or Treat!
You have now the great honor and the unique pleasure to give us all your candy!

Or we are allowed to play an, in our eyes, harmless little prank!
Not that this is something bad, not for us at last.
But I'm not so sure if it's so very good for you if we do that, because someone told me that what you understand as harmless is something different then what we understand as harmless.
So let me get this straight: Harmless by our definition!
We will let the worst nightmare you can think of seem like a garden full of unicorns and rainbows and fluffy little bunnies.
We will show you the living hell, while blood rains from the sky and Kaiba kills little puppies by smiling at them!
Or we simply send you to the shadow realm.
It is your decision, so do whatever you want.
After all, you have to live with the consequences.

You can leave our candy beside that big fountain in the middle of the mall, if you want to survive this day with your body, soul and sanity intact.
Believe me when I tell you that we know a lot about hell, and the shadow realm, since we go there for our vacations until they have enough and throw us out!
And I sincere doubt that you will like it there, I will make sure of that!
Even if I have to give Marik a fucking flamethrower!

We Yamis have taken over this mall, and now we await the reward for our hard work and all the effort.
And since we are generous and noble, we will give you exactly 10 minutes!
Thank you for your attention, and happy dieing- I mean Halloween-
Happy Halloween!" Bakura corrected himself quickly.

"Because you can die after you delivered our reward!" he muttered after he put the microphone to the side, so the people couldn't hear him anymore.

In the meantime Marik stopped sulking around and drew on the security guards with permanent marker. Glasses, beards, black teeth, like a little kid he sat beside them and giggled the whole time.
If he wasn't allowed to help Bakura with his announcement, then at last he wants to occupy himself otherwise...

He had looked up curiously for a moment as he heard his own name and flamethrower in the same sentence, but it seems it was just an empty threat, so he went back to painting his masterpieces.
A quick search through the thief's pockets had proofed that he didn't have a flamethrower with him.
And flamethrowers are bigger then a pant pocked, you can't hide them in there.
Unfortunately.

'Except if you have really big pants.
Or really big pockets.
Or big pants with big pockets.
Hmmm... I wonder if a clown can hide a flamethrower in his pants...
Or a mascot from TV, by the sport games, they are really big.
I bet they have big pockets if you give them pants...

I could also put Malik in such a costume, then I could have my Light and the flamethrower at the same time and I could play with both…
But then I wouldn't see him properly, with all the weird fur in the way. That's not good.
But nobody else would be able to see him. That's good.

Or I put myself also in that costume, we both fit into it, they are really big after all, and my Hikari is so small.
I could touch him and pet him and kiss and stoke and bite him, and no one would notice, since we hide both in this big mascot-costume.
But then the flamethrower would get in the way!...
Damn it, but then again, I wouldn't really need it, since Malik would be with me to occupy me...'

Marik giggled happily as he saw a full football stadium before his inner eye, and right in the middle of it and in the center of the attention: A big, shaggy bear-mascot with a big, fat flamethrower in his paws.
The mascot would stagger and struggle, seemingly drunken and out of control, and it let fire rain down at the player and audience with a happy smile on the furry face.
No one would see the two Blondes who are rather busy in the costume.
Well, Malik would be in the costume, while Marik would be in more then just the costume...

The spiky haired Yami woke up from his daydream with a start as someone hit him over the head:
"Are done here soon? There isn't even room left on their faces, and that visages don't become any prettier, no matter how much you paint on them.
And you never were a great artist to begin with. You just make it worse!"

The two psychos gave the peoples enough time to buy and believer the candy before they also went to the fountain to collect them.
Behind them the security guards finally came back to life and didn't know what happened to them.
They just felt like they woke up from a dream and didn't know what happened to them. They looked around and instantly started to fight with each other after seeing their new war paint...

But sadly for the two sugar high Darks, things didn't went according to plan for them, because they found out that absolutely nobody took their 'friendly request' to heart!
There was not a single piece of candy, no one took them serious!

Sad and disappointed Marik dropped rather gracelessly down at the floor and sulked:
"That's so mean, no body ever gives us candy!
Malik said that you get candy on Halloween if you ask peoples, but we always ask them, and we never get anything!
It's mean and unfair and not very nice, and what are we doing if it keeps up in the evening, too?
What if they don't want to give our sweet Hikaris any candy, they will be upset and sad, and I don't want Malik to be sad, that always makes me sad, too. And when I am sad, I have to kill someone to get happy again...
And besides, what kind of Yami would I be if I let my Light be sad, I would be a really bad Yami!
But I don't want to be a bad Yami, I want to be a good Yami, and make Malik laugh and make him proud of me because I'm a really good and nice and decent Dark...”
Marik clung to Bakura's leg like a little monkey and looked up to the thief with big, wet eyes and shivering lip:

"I don't want my Hikari sad, I am a good Yami, right, and Hikaris with good Yamis are happy and love them and take them to their bed and let them have their way with them, and they tell their sisters not to hit them with their baseball-bats over the head, right?…" He snivels pitifully into Bakura's jeans.

"Hey, have you already forgotten that we are allowed to punish them? Besides, we can give them something better then stupid candy to suck on.
We just have to cheer them up tonight when we all lie in our warm beds and hold our Hikaris in our arms...” Bakura remind him and tried to shake him off his leg.
"You are right!” and in not even a second he was up from the floor and grabbed Bakura's sleeve with a wide grin once more on his tanned face: “Come on, we need something to eat! Don't just stay around all day, move your ass, so we can start to torture those meanies for not giving us candy and making Malik sad!"
All tears already forgotten he dragged Bakura happily through the mall. Bakura tried to tell him that Malik was probably still at home, and the peoples never did anything to the blonde Light, but Marik either didn’t hear him or just ignored him…

"Hey, wait up; we need a few things for later!" That was the only warning he got from the Thief, before Marik found himself on his ass after the other pulled hard on his wrist.
Confused he starred up into a colorful shop window:
"A pet shop? But Bakura, I want something finished... We have to kill and maybe even cook them first, and I don't want to wait that long!"
"I'm not talking about food, you damn moron!
But after eating we want to play some more with those cheating humans who don't play by the rules and give us all their candy, right?
Or do you want to run home and hide under your Light?"

"Of course not! Then again, it sounds not so bad...
Actually, I would certainly not complain, you now, but well...
Here and now is maybe not the best of all times?! Not that I would push him away if he suddenly shows up here and tells me that he wants me.
I would never dream of it, because I'm not insane, and I can never refuse him anything...
Whatever he wants, he deserves to get it.
And I'm sure I could find a dark and undisturbed corner for us to take proper care of him...
just a little fun as break from our work, and we work hard today, so I deserve a little alone time with my Malik...
Or we just cast the peoples out of a bed-shop, the ground would be softer there, and he could ride me when I'm under him, I like how he looks then…"

Again Marik got that dreamy look as he thought about Malik; his tan, hot skin; the silky blond hair; his husky voice calling out his name when he co-
”Marik!”
"What?!” Marik jelled back, blinking confused and he wondered where his Hikari had gone suddenly. But then he saw Bakura's knowing smirk and remembered where he was and what they were talking.
“But shouldn't we better do something else right now?! And you know as well as me that I would never send a Hikari away if he wants or need me really badly... (1)
Not right now, but later....
Damn it to hell, you know exactly what I mean!

And anyway, leave Malik out of this or I have to bite you!
You know perfectly well that I can't go home at the moment because Ishizu is still mad at me and guards her innocent little brother from the big, bad Yami!
She told me that she has that sharp knife under her pillow waiting for me, and that she cuts my little Marik away!
How cruel can a single woman be? I mean, she always looks nice to other peoples, but then she goes and says such mean things and scares poor Yamis!!!
And how can I play with Malik when I don't have anything to play with him?
He would be even sadder as when he doesn't get candy today!”

And with that the blond Yami marched in the pet shop and was welcomed by a concert of animal sounds.
"Looks like they still remember me…" he grinned and smirked into a tank with fishes, which turned around startled and hide under their plants. Only a few lonely bubbles proved that there were more then a few plants alive in the water.

Marik looked into a cage where cute little bunnies looked up at him with big, black eyes.
Marik licked over his lips and his stomach growled yet again to remind him that it still wants to be feed.
The poor animals seems to notice that this man was not here to cuddled with them, but that they were yet again on someone's menu card .
They fled into the farthest corner as the Yami reached into the open-to-the-top cage.
But then they got unexpected help from the thief king, who grabbed his arm and dragged him away:

"Are you insane? Not all there, with loose screws, the light not all on? Have you lost your mind?
You don't really want to touch those beasts, right?"
"But Bakura, I'm hungry now! And they look so tasty and yummy, and you take so long to get us the promised food. I am hungry now, not later, but you keep making detours, and my poor little tummy makes angry noises, and I'm afraid when he growls at me like that!
I want him to stop that and that he's nice again!!!"

Bakura grabbed Marik's arm a little harder and shock him a little, since the other didn't seem to understand his point, and how important it is.
More important than his stupid stomach and its fucking growling!
"You don't want to touch them, believe me! Those monsters may look cute and nice and harmless, but that deceives!
Under all that soft fur and the innocent gaze hides a biting, mischievous, homicidal monster!"

Marik just gave him a disbelieving look:
“Don't you think you overreact a tiny little bit?
I mean, after all you gave your Hikari one of them as a present at Valentines day?! (2)
And somehow I doubt that Ryou likes wild, bloodthirsty animals, which he can feed with unpopular visitors or irritating door-to-door sellers; or small, annoying-as-hell pharaohs.
He is not like my Malik, after all... No one can be as perfect as my Hikari-Pretty…"

"That was just a stupid accident! It was never supposed to survive that day!!!
What do you think why I know what kind of savage monster it is at the bottom of its black soul?
I made a mistake and thought of it as harmless and stupid, and up to this day I still pay the price for that!
Believe me, they are not harmless and nice and cute, they are not cuddly animals, on the contrary!
A Hikari may be able to tame it, I don't know how they do it, but they all can that... Must be some kind of Hikari-thing...
Like playing shadow games is a Yami-thing…
But as soon as the Light turns away or is out of sight the cute little fluff-balls mutate to bloodthirsty beasts and show their true, horrible, terrible face!"

Bakura dragged him further away from the cages and looked around in all directions: “Never, ever turn your back at them, or they will instantly try to eat you!
All the vegetables they always eat are nothing more than a side dish and you are the main course!
When you pass them, they will watch you and ponder what part of you they should bite off first! They are devious and snaky, never underestimate them, or that will be the last mistake you ever make!”

And with that dragged Bakura the hungry Marik finally away from his 'food'. He kept looking right and left to make sure no bunny could run around freely and maybe make an ambush and kill him from behind...
(A little paranoid, poor dear... *pat his head*)

The thief told Marik to open his bag and hold it for him while he 'shopped'. They had grabbed it from the kitchen table on their way out, and Bakura stuffed it now with several things and even real, living animals:

Doggy treats, birdseed, mechanic toy mice, a clear plastic container with chirping grasshoppers, and even several thin, small snakes. The pale animals hissed upset as the tomb robber laid them carefully on top of everything.
He didn't want to hurt them; they should help them a little later, after all...

Of course they didn't went unnoticed for long, and soon an agitated man stood before them and asked when they plan to pay, how they plan to pay for all that stuff, what they are even doing, and how long they plan to stay in the shop, since they upset the animals.
And the shopkeeper as well, but he didn't dare to say that out loud.
Instead he waved around with his hands, jumped up and down in front of the Yamis and pulled at them as they ignored him.

Bakura simply ignored him and looked interested into the birdcages, while Marik rolled his eyes.
He tipped Bakura in the arm with the pointy part of his Millennium-rod: “Hey, can I shut him up? He is so annoying with all his barking and yowling, like those stupid small dogs who look like starving rats (4)”
"Why? He's kind of funny…"
"Hey, do you even listen to me? I'm talking to you, so stop ignoring me!"
But Bakura ignored him anyway and simply pushed him away like an annoying insect, swearing and threading under his breath.

And before anyone could stop him, the thief opened the cages: Parrots, budgies, cockatiels, chickadees and many other birds flew exited away into freedom.
An especially gorgeous and big blue parrot sat down on the shopkeeper's head, shock his feathers and them screeched as loud as he could.

A few of the small birds nearly fell out of the air in shock before they fled out of the open door in blind panic, to cause chaos and confusion in the rest of the mall.
Laughing Marik let all the rodents out, because it would be mean to punish them just because they don't have wings like the birds...

The poor seller didn't know which animal to case first, or even what he should do now.
"Damn, they are going to fire me, I can already pack my stuff, this is my end, they are so going to make me pay for it... But maybe the boss doesn't notice all the birds missing. But maybe he notice and fries my ass...
I should at last try to catch them, maybe they have pity if they see that I really tried to get them back, I have to hurry.”
Distraught he pulled at his hair as finally the insects, which they sell as food, got also released thanks to a few hits with the Millennium-rod.
As the poor man realized that his running-in-circles didn't make anything better, he just let himself fall down in the corner. He hides his face in his hands and wept, while the Yamis shooed the animals out the door, so they know where to run...

Finally Marik and Bakura, too, left the shop, but Bakura couldn't help but stop for a moment at the bunny-cage: "You see, that's what you get for being evil and devious little bastards. Everyone else can flee, and just you have to stay and wait for the cook to get you! It's your own fault, and just what you deserve!
To end as a snack. Maybe even as Marik's snack, that would be funny, wouldn’t it?"
He mocked the fluffy animals and stuck his tongue out. At last, until a small, white one got curios and sat up on its hind legs to sniff up to him.
(And he has such good experience with the white ones ^___^)

Bakura tripped a step back and knocked a self with bags of cat litter over. The startled thief swore like a trooper and shook his fist at the little rabbit with the floppy ears.
Quickly he turned around and run out after Marik, who was already waiting for him, tapping his foot impatiently.
"I told you that furballs are evil! One of them just tried to jump and eat me!"

"Damn, don't talk about eating! I'm hungry~" Marik whined again and totally ignored Bakura's pale face as his poor, starving neglected tummy made noise again...
"Okay, okay, we take a break. But only a short one, get it?"
Marik nodded exited and hopped over to a McDonald restaurant, Bakura in his tow.

"Do you have money? I think they want money, and I don't have any, and they don't give us anything if we have no money, but I'm starving. My tummy is mad at me, but I don't like it when someone is mad at me, especially if it is my tummy, or my Light, or worse- both…"

All the while he fidgets around Bakura until the thief had enough and grabbed him by the collar:
"Okay! Okay, I will think of something! But stop your stupid prancing, or I will break every bone in your brainless body!”
Marik pouted offended, but stood like a good boy behind Bakura in the line.
Bakura showed him a few notes, which of course belonged to someone else until a few moments ago.
But it's really not hard or a challenge to swipe them in such a crowd.
He was just lucky, that Ryou didn't see that, he always gets upset about such unimportant and needless details...
'Although I have to admit that he is rather cute when he's upset, with his blushing cheeks and the sparkling eyes. And he always pouts when he notices that he doesn't look threatening, but more like he wants to beg me to ravish him...'

"That's not your money, shouldn't you use your own money, Ryou always says that, and you should listen to your Hikari, they know such things better-”
"I rightfully stole it, and that makes it mine now, so shut up or your tummy can eat itself!
And if you even think about telling Ryou something about this then I will get a tacker and tack your big, insolent mouth close! Is your little birdbrain able to understand what I say, or do you need a demonstration?!"

Marik shot him a hurt look, but didn't dare to say anything.
Ishizu threatened him with the same thing, and she even dragged him to a hardware-store and showed him a big machine. Somehow he didn't like the look of it.
At last not when it was directed against his own person....

"2 Cokes!" Bakura growled unfriendly to the over-friendly seller as it was their turn.
Behind him Marik started to whimpers and whines like a little puppy begging for a treat.
He plucked at Bakura's shoulder, and started to push and pull him as he still got ignored:
"Bakura! Hey, Bakura! Bakura, can you hear me?
I'm talking to you, Bakura!
Bakura, Bakura, Bakura.
Ba-ku-ra!"

The not-so-sane Yami hopped impatiently from one food to the other, and the cashier starred pass Bakura at the Blonde who acted like a little kid, while Bakura simply ignored him as if he didn't see or hear anything from him.
That's something you learn automatically if you spent enough time with the crazy psycho.
Ignore him and he will go away.
Or he will try to kill you in his boredom...

Bakura gave him his drink, and Marik just starred at it as if he doesn't know what to do with it. He looked from the cup to the young man behind the counter, who looked back at him with wide eyes.
Marik bared his teeth and earned a startled squeak from the shivering man.
The Yami then tilt his head to the side and blinked puzzled at this reaction.
What's wrong now, he just tried to be friendly and nice and smiled at him, no reason to be scared and nearly piss his pants and faint...

Bakura paid for their drinks and dragged Marik by his collar over to an empty table. The Blonde still whimpered and stretched his hands toward the counter with the open kitchen behind it:
“I am hungry, I want food, my tummy demands to be feed, come on, just a few burgers, they don't even need to be cooked, I eat them raw, you said you are going to feed me when I'm good, and I was good, no one here is dead, so I want something to eat!
I deserve food, or I bite you, I can do that, you know?!
Donuts or Muffins...
My poor starving tummy don't like you one bit, and I don't like you either, you are trying to kill me and take my Hikari-Pretty away, you cruel thief!
Hikari-stealing meanie!
I want food! I want, I want, I want, I-”

"Drink you Ra-damned Coke and give me that fucking cup before I shove it down your throat and kill you for real!
I show you something funny, and you even get the chance to play with your new friend over there!" The tomb robber snarled and drank his own Coke down. He didn't notice that he mashed it in his hand until it was too late, and he tossed it away. One cup should be enough anyway...
He nodded over to the counter to said 'friend', where the seller still shuddered and watched them fearfully. It seemed that for some reason he didn't trust his two customers...

Eagerly Marik followed his example and emptied his cup before he shoved it over to Bakura, who did something with it under the table. He wouldn't show or tell Marik what it was, but by the way he kept smirking it had to be something good, and for a moment he forgot his empty tummy and smirked back.

Bakura indicated him to follow him and strolled back to the counter, where he looked at the seller with a glare as dark as only a Yami could do it.

"Hey, I have a complaint!” Bakura bickered at the man with a devilish smirk, causing the man behind the counter to step back and look around, seeking help from his colleagues.
Where are those cowardly bastards if you need them?
He may be used to a certain degree of insanity from his customers, but those two surpass everything by far!

Again Marik stood behind the a little shorter tomb robber and looked over his shoulder so he wouldn't miss anything. All the while he was grinning over his whole face, in his slightly insane way, as if he wants to bite someone.

"Y-Y-Ye-es? H-H-Hoo-ww ca-ca-an I-I he-hel-pp y-y-you...” stuttered the unlucky fellow, and Bakura handed him his big cup: "Take a look at this, and then you know how you can help me!”
Trembling he took the cup and peered under the cover…
"Ahhh!" With a loud shriek he lost his hold on the cup as he noticed that nothing liquid was in it, but something crawling and chirping:

The big cup was filled to the brim with grasshoppers, who jumped away and over all tables as they finally got a chance to flee.
A few women shrieked as they saw the crawlers, while their children run after them with a happy squeal to catch and stroke them or take them home as their new pets.

Decoyed from the commotion came the manager and yelled for an explanation.
Marik immediately grabbed him by the collar and shock him a little, just to make sure he had his undivided attention:
"He sold us bugs!" and he pointed wildly at the poor, innocent seller, "I ordered Coke, but he gave me bugs, and then he threw my cup away!
If I want bugs, I say that I want bugs, but I want Coke, so I said that I want Coke, but he gave me bugs anyway!
I didn't want them but I got them, why do I get something I don't even order and don't even want, when I order bugs I don't get them!
And my Hikari said that I never ever can get bugs here, even if I order them, are you trying to tell me that my Light lied to me, I hope you don't want to say that, because if you do, I will eat you, get it!?
If you dare to claim that I am going to eat you, do you hear me, I eat you raw and unboiled!!
Because my Hikari-Pretty would never lie to me, he loves me and likes me and cares for me, and you don't really want to tell me that my sweet, innocent little Light is just a cruel liar?!"

By now the blond Yami knees on the counter and shook with one hand the manager, who was very glad that he didn't eat breakfast today as he slowly turned green and sick.
"I didn't say anything...." He whispered in hope it would do him any good, since he didn't even know what a Hikari even is.
But Marik simply ignored his protest and nearly lift him from the ground by his collar.

With his free hand Marik threw straws and napkins at the seller, who just stood there and held a tray up as a shield.
Not that that bothered Marik anyway, on the contrary: It just made him realize that there are other, better and harder things to throw than that soft, useless stuff.

The Dark also stopped shaking the manager, since the guy was no fun.
All he did was whimpering, and he never tried to fight back, and as soon as he was free he scrambled away, sat down on the floor and held his mouth.
Somehow he managed not to threw up, but only barely.
Marik collected every tray he could find, still sitting on the counter and smirking like mad.
And then the trays flew around like Frisbees in direction of the kitchen.
The peoples were startled at the sudden attack and run around in a panic, knocking over pots and in general causing even more chaos then Marik alone.

Salad went flying, oil is shed and innocent tomatoes got cruelly trampled… (3)

But just as Marik was about to storm in the kitchen to join the fun there, Bakura grabbed his sleeve and dragged him out.
The kitchen was a war zone, while most of the customers already left the place deserted.
After all, who want to eat at a place where grasshoppers dance on your table?

Outside Bakura gave him burgers and several Donuts and Muffins. He 'borrowed' them while Marik 'distract' the humans a little.
"There, your food. And I don't want to hear any more of your whinnying, or I may loose my appetite or my breakfast. Or both.
And I will make sure that you don't like that!"

The only sound the blond Yami made for the next couple of minutes was the rustling of wrapping paper and his munching and slurping.
Not that Bakura was any better...
Both of them are not really a good example of table manners...

While eating they watched a flock of budgies happily circling under the glass roof.
One floor above them they could see the clerk from the animal shop running around rather planless with a butterfly net.
He was after a little chickadee, and Marik nearly choke on his food as he saw that the guy nearly fell over the railing in his blind zeal.
The bold, daring little birdy zipped around right before his face and stubbornly refused to get caught in the net.
And there are just about hundred of other birds flying around in the big mall with its many, many shops and many, many hiding places...
But sadly someone came out of a nearby shop and held the man back before he could fall over the railing, much to the Yamis disappointment.
They already waited for a chance to 'help' the poor guy should he really fall down...

After they ate everything, and Marik was happy again, they left their place to terrorize some more peoples before they turn back to their real victims.
After all, they asked the whole mall for sweets, and no one gave them anything, so they all choose Trick over Treat.

They went for the biggest clothing store with the most customers in and crept inconspicuously in.
Or as inconspicuous as someone could with such crazy hair and even crazier laughter can be...
Whistling they crept to the changing rooms in the women's section.
Of course the women kept a close eye on them, and only god knows what they thought they are doing here.
And one or the other child got quickly dragged out of their way as they passed by, since you could never be too careful.

An especially round woman got a wide smirk from Marik, and she turned bright red and looked like she is ready to hit him with her cheesy, shocking pink purse, before he went over to the changing room with a way too small dress.
Bakura ignored the glares around him, while Marik obviously enjoyed the discomfort they caused.

The Tomb Robber snatched the bag with their toys and picked one of the pale, hissing snakes out.
Marik stroke the animal a last time for good-bye before he pointed at the door where he wanted Bakura to shove it through.

With glittering eyes the two Yamis watched as the fat woman stormed out, huffing and puffing like a steamroller, and she looked around searchingly.
As she spotted the counter, and the poor, unsuspecting cashier, she stormed over to him to complain:

"Are you insane or are you just trying to kill me, you dirty slob, you!
Do you even know the condition of your changing rooms? Did you ever look at them, did you?
I bet you didn't, of course not, or something like this would never happen!
Or maybe you did, and you just don't care if your faithful customers die one after the other!
I bet you even enjoy the whole thing, and you are just waiting for all those young girls running around halfnaked in their panic!!!

There are snakes! Snakes!!!
At last 5 meters long are those terrible monsters, with a mouth full of poison fangs and slimy, slippery bodies!
One of those overlong earthworms looked at me hungrily, just a few moments ago.
I bet it planned to eat me for its next meal!

I'm going to your superior to complain about your behavior, it's really terrible!
Unacceptable, when are you going to do anything about them, instead of looking at me like an ox before the stable?
Come on, move it, move it, move it!"

And with that she dragged the poor man with her, still ranting and shrieking to make sure every last one in the shop can hear her:
"This place is deadly, I will never ever set food in this gruesome, snake-infested place, even for a fortune I wouldn’t do that, you can get attacked by wild animals, and bitten and eaten!
You can meet your death here!"

She shot another dark glare in Mariks direction as she passed them again on her way.
"And what kind of people are allowed in here, terrible!
Come on, I have to pass by, and you slobs are in my way!" and she shoved the blond away, who let her for once.

Then she opened the door to the changing room she was in and shoved the shop assistant harshly inside.
But no snake was in sight.
"Here is nothing..." he said superfluously. He turned around and gave her a questioning look:
"Are you sure that there was a snake in here?"
"Of course I'm sure! Do you want to say that I don't know what I see? Maybe even that I'm not all there in the head? That I'm insane?
Are you really trying to say that, you dirty little klutz?"

And then her ugly purse turned into a weapon, and the seller seeks refuge in flight, which left the shop unattended and at the mercy of two still sugar high Yamis.

With a happy chuckle Bakura shoved their other snakes under the other changing rooms, so they could slide under the under the door inside and into freedom.
Because the other customers should have their fun too, and not only watch the fat lady and think that she's just hysteric and crazy.

Bakura managed it at the last moment to pull Marik out of the way as a group of screeching women stormed out of the other rooms.
They all were more or less dressed and run screaming about slimy poisonous snakes who tried to strangle them.

They flayed around with their arms and stomped their feet, even as no snake was anywhere around them. Because the clever animals hide themselves as the noises and the movement around them got too much for the sensitive serpents.
And besides, all the mice, hamsters and rats found their way into the ventilation shaft and felt quite comfortable there. They found enough food in there to life a long and happy life, especially after all the rats and mice start to breed...

Marik looked blankly after the fleeing customers before he looked at the thief with his head tilt to the side: "What's their problem? Snakes are not slimy or icky, they have dry scales... And sadly they aren't poisonous either!"

But suddenly he saw something more interesting opposite of the cloth store, and he dragged Bakura on his collar over to the shop. (They do that a lot…)
That he caught some of the white hair in his grip as well was none of his concern, after all, Bakura didn't care about his poor finger, either!
"Come on, I want to try, too, it's my turn now, I have a funny idea, and come with me, the one over there wants a trick!!"

"Why the hell should I want to be here?" mortified the tomb robber looked over his surroundings as Marik finally let go of his hair. And collar.
Books!
Everywhere!
No matter where you look, everywhere are those damn books, from the floor to the ceiling, in every corner, to his left and to his right, before him and behind him...
Thick, thin, small, large, with and without pictures…
"I'm surrounded... They are everywhere...." He looked around again and noted that no one was in the shop, not even a seller.
He didn't know and didn't care that he was out to help his friend catching birds to make sure he doesn't kill himself in the process.
At last he was not here to stop them...

"Don't worry, I make everything okay..." Marik patted his fellow Yami calmingly on the shoulder and pointed up: "I want up there!"

"And?"
"And you shall help me!"
"And if I don't want to?"
"You shall help me!" Marik demanded with the determination of a three-year old in a candy-store...

"I step on your back and you will help me up!"
Bakura growled at him and pushed a ladder over to him: "You will not trample on my back! I bet you weigh more then an elephant!"
"Hey, not fair!" But all his protest and whining was in vain, and so he used the ladder like a good little boy.
He took out a lighter, making Bakura wonder for a moment who was stupid and suicidal enough to give him that thing, while the Blonde held it under the sprinkler system.
Imitatively the whole shop, along with the two Yamis and the books, got swamped.

"And, what do you say now, isn't that great?" The insane one clapped and hopped around like, well, insane, and cast Bakura an expectant look.
Bakura stood there, wet to the bones, and looked somewhat like a drowned rat.
His normally spiky hair stuck in sad strands to his face, and his clothes looked like they were suddenly too big for him.
It seems that Marik has a thing for floodings, since this was his second one this day.
He would most likely try to flood the whole city, if he just knew how to do that.
Personally Bakura preferred fire, since it makes a lot more damage, but it also is spotted and put out quicker...
"Great, really great. But next time, you better warn me before pulling such a stunt, or I tear your head from your neck and play soccer with it!"

Marik held his head protectively and whimpered frightened:
"But I need my head! What should I do if I lost it; I can't kiss Malik without my head!
And I can't see him without my head!
You can't take my head away from me, that would be mean and cruel and not very nice!"

Bakura considered telling him that he would most likely die if he gets beheaded, and he wouldn't need to worry about sex with his Hikari in that case...
But then he just shocks his head: He wasn't really sure about it, after all, Marik barely uses his head now, and he lives just fine.
Loosing it would probable make not that much of a difference...

Then they stopped their little 'discussion' to watch a hamster floating by on a book.
It floated towards the door and looked like a captain on his own boat as he snuffles for the (non-existent) wind.
The little animal cleans calmly its pelt as if it was completely normal that it first get released into freedom and then gets washed away from a newfound home on a book.

Bakura dragged the struggling Marik out by the door before someone could notice them and the mess they made.
Because if they get caught, their Hikaris would be the one forced to pay for the damage, and then they would be angry for a while.
And angry Hikaris means sleeping on the sofa, which means no special attention for their Yamis.
That makes rather lonely Yamis.
And rather horny ones, too.

Not a very nice prospect...

As they were far enough away, they took the time to look at and enjoy their little chaos:
By now the grasshoppers finished with the McDonald's, went to the pizzeria beside it, and wandered also over to the other restaurants in this part of the mall.
The birds still made their circles in colorful flocks under the glass ceiling and still spread their white smudges randomly all over the place and the customers there.
The bookshop man finally noticed the state of his shop and run back instead of trying to catch birds with his friend.
But that was not so bad, he doesn't needed to worry about him, because last time he saw him, his friend sat in the ball pit in the children's ward and refused to come out and face his boss.

Marik stopped for a moment to watch the fat woman as she hit the seller again with her ugly purse over the head. The poor man was still running from her and tried to stay out of her reach as much as he could, as he raised his arms to protect his abused head.
He stumbled more than he run, and since he wasn't looking, he tripped head first into the fountain.
To his luck and relief, his pursuer seems to be afraid of the water and left him there, but she circled around the fountain like a hungry shark.
And she still wasn't out of insults...

She glared darkly at Marik as she passed him on one of her rounds, and the Yami stuck his tongue out at her, before he had to dodge her thrown purse.
The insane Blond picked it up and looked curiously at it from all sides.
And then he bit in it.

Bakura looked at him.
The fat woman looked at him.
The seller in the water looked at him.
The curios bystanders looked at him.

And everyone was waiting for any kind of reaction from him.
Marik made a face: "Hey, how mean! That thing doesn't taste like cotton candy!"

"Give me my purse back, you cruel thief!"
"Thief? But he's the thief, not me! And you gave it to me, remember? Just a few moments ago, you threw it at me; I never stole it from you!
I'm not that short, I'm taller then Bakura!
But you can have it back anyway if it means so much to you, I don't want it, it tastes horrible!"
And with that he threw the purse, with the bite marks, back at her, and in her attempt to catch it, she fell backwards into the water.

"And, are we finished here? Can we go now?" Marik asked as he rummaged around in his bag after he suddenly lost interest in the human whale.
He took one of the toys from the pet-shop and showed it to the tomb robber. He wanted to know what the tomb robber planned with the thing, and he wanted to know now!
Bakura just shrugged his shoulder "Sure, why not. It gets boring here anyway, there's not much left to do!"

But in the end it wasn't as easy as they want it to be.
Not after all the trouble and mess they made.
Because the security guards got rid of their confusion and one of them even thought he had to stop the two Darks!

"You two! Stop right were you are and follow me!"
"Now what is it: Stay here or go with you!? Because we can't do both at the same time!"
Bakura turned slowly around, while Marik clapped excited and hopped (again) up and down:
"Hey, Bakura, can I have him, can I, can I, can I?
Pretty please? Since they didn't give us any candy, and they didn't even offer us coffee as we visited them, and that’s a little rude. At last that’s what Ishizu always says...
So, can I play with him?"

"I thought you want to leave?!"
"But look, he even removed my beautiful decoration!" he tugged and pulled around in his face:
"See? All clean! Can I do it again?"

"You! You are banned from this building! For ever and ever!" the blue-glad man got all upset and angry with them for ignoring him, and because they didn't take him seriously, and they also refused to go with him and let him kick them out...

"What? That long?" pouted Marik
"No, for longer!"

"Hey, Marik, did you meet him before?" Bakura interrupt them, as they seem to chatter so 'nicely'.
"No, he doesn't look death to me. And he would definitively if I ever meet him before."
"I want you gone! I don't know what you did with us, or why you are even here, and where you come from, but I don't give a damn. I just want you to go back there and never return!..."

On their way out they used an unobserved moment to trigger the fire alarm to scare even the last customers out of the mall.
And then they where back on their way to another victim. Bakura had a few on his list and he couldn't await it to visit them.

"There is a certain someone who we need to visit. As a little thanks, because he's always so nice to the Hikaris and talks a lot to them and gives them things to do..."
Delighted Marik clapped his hands and hopped up and down, making Bakura wonder for a moment if he ate one or maybe even several rubber balls.
He would certainly not be surprised if the psycho eats them fro breakfast, with the way he always bounces around...
"The principal? We visit the principal, oh I hope he's doesn't give us any candy!
Candy wouldn't be bad, I like candy, and it's sweet. of course, it's not as sweet as Malik, but it's not bad. But if he doesn't give us anything we can play a prank and punish him and I would like that better then candy from him!
Do you have anything in mind, I bet you do, can you tell me, you never told me what we do to him and I want to know, tell me, come on, tell dear Marik your little secret."

But no matter how much the Blonde kept begging and pestering him, Bakura refused to tell him anything.
"Hey, Trick or Treat?" Marik knocked 'eagerly' with his fists on the door, while Bakura simply choose to lean on the bell to make his presence known.
"What!!?" snarled a voice , but just because someone noticed them doesn't means that they stopped their racket. Because that slightly angry tone could only be meant as a challenge to continue...

"Trick or Treat!!!" they yelled over the noise they made themselves with their knocking and ringing.
"Get lost! Do you really think I would open the door? Do you think I'm suicidal or what?
I don’t want to die!
After all the trouble you always make in my school you want a reward from me now?
I will call the police if you don’t get lost in the next few moments!
You can get a trip to jail, but noting more!
And now see that you get lost, and make it quick!"

Bakura and Marik smirked satisfied. That was exactly the answer they were waiting and hopping for: "Are you really sure that you don’t want to give us anything? Today is Halloween!"
"And even if it's Christmas, Easter and your Birthday at the same time, I wouldn’t give you anything!"

"Okay~" They both sang and hopped happily down the steps. They don’t look like they were sad or mad that they again didn’t get any candy. On the contrary!
And that is why he should be very worried.
The poor, tortured principal shuddered in the safety of his house, while he fled to his bedroom to hide in his closet with his cell phone in his hand.
Just in case they find some way to get inside…

He didn’t see the Yamis slowly walking around his car
The car which stands all alone and lonely in the driveway.
The car which gets washed and polished every weekend because its means a lot to its owner.
The car that is a rather valuable classic car.
The car that never had an accident in its long and uneventful live.
The car that sadly has its window open…

Marik and Bakura smirked at each other over the car roof, before they both grabbed one of the bags with the birdseed.
They spread it generously in the car and the rest over the roof and engine cover, to make sure they know where they can find food.

And as soon as they step away, the first pigeon came by. It took them a few moments until they noticed that most of the food was inside, and that the window was open…
And of course, they crapped all over the place, much to the Yamis amusement…

"Oh, look who hide in my bag!" Marik pulled a small, silver-grew snake out of his bag. Seems that it hide under all the stuff in there, while the others stayed on top of the stuff and are now gone.
The thief just shrugged: "Let her go, there are enough holes in the ground to hide, and she wouldn’t starve, with all the mice living in the gardens."
Marik looked at the thin animal for a moment, and she tickled his cheek with the tongue.
The Yami giggled and patted the scaled head a few times before he sat her back in his bag:
"No, I think I keep her! I like her, and she smiled at me, I think she wants to go home with me and meet my Hikari-Pretty!"

"Sure, do what you want! It's only your head that will roll when Ishizu sees that thing."
"No, she can't! I give it to Malik; she can't do anything to me if it's his pet. She can't deny her little brother anything if he looks at her with his big puppy eyes.
I tried that tactic myself once, but she just threw pots after me, I don’t know why.
But it doesn’t matter anyway, since Malik is much better with looking all cute and innocent, so I leave that to him.
Looking nice and cute and innocent is his task, I don’t need to be able to do that…"

"Well, who is the next on our list?" Marik asked after putting his new pet back in the safety of his bag, and Bakura considered a moment.
He held one hand out "His royal Shortness" he held his other hand out, too "Or Queen Bitch."
Both looked at Bakura's hands
"Decisions, decisions…"

"Anzu!" the said at the same time and run to Marik's place.
They tiptoed to a little garden shed, where Marik had a little secret stash.
But they had to be very careful so Ishizu wouldn’t notice them, or she would show them hell…

Quickly and quietly Marik took anything they need out of it and put anything they don’t need away. Then they left, before anyone even know that they were there in the first place…

A little later the troublemaker sneaked yet again through another garden.
Carefully they spied through a window in the living room and found Anzu sitting there doing only god knows what.
She had a mirror in one hand, a picture of Yami in the other, and she seems to be talking to herself.

Marik walked to the front door to distract her, while Bakura crept to the backdoor.
"Trick or Treat!?" sang Marik yet again.
And Anzu was really stupid enough to open her door…
"Go away, or I call Yami!"
"Come on, I'm not gonna eat you! Who would even want that… I just want candy, or I can play a prank on you! That are the rules, you have to play by the rules or I'm offended!"

"The hell I will! I don’t care if you are offended or not! Now go away!"
And with that she closed the door in his face. Not that he cared much, after all this is exactly what they wanted.
Everything goes according to plan.

A few moments later Bakura joined him again, and they watched her through the living room window to watch their great plan unfold.
Suddenly there was a loud bang, and Anzu stood shrieking and screeching at her sofa.
An army of mechanic mice surrounded her.
Each one of they small gray cat-toys had a firecracker on its back, and one after the other exploded.

While Marik distract her at the front door, Bakura used the back door, winding them and set the firecracker on fire, before he sent them on their merry way to the living room.

They scared Anzu nearly to death, (sadly only nearly…) while around her fake fur and plastic flew around.
"And next time you give us candy if we ask!" Marik yelled at her through the closed door before the Yamis run away.
They never saw how she threw her mirror at the window and jerked at the noises and cracks.
They also never heard Anzu yelling after them something about Yami and how he will punish them, that the pharaoh will avenge her and more such rubbish.

Still standing on the sofa she grabbed her phone and tried to call Yami to complain and whine about the mean treatment.
But for some reason he always hung up on her when she said something….

+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
TBC:
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(1) Please note how he says a Hikari, not my Hikari… *grin* No, that’s no typo, but one of my usual lewdness.

(2) My Valentine-Story, as Bakura tried to cook a rabbit and the bunny refused to get into the pot ^___^ Ryou rescued it as he thought it is a present for him. Its still alive and torturing the thief….

(3) Yeah- die, tomato, die! *kill it with a knife* I hate tomatoes! I like them as ketchup, but otherwise they are terrible. *shudder*

(4) Miniature pinscher! They always bark, and are loud, and look like they don't get enough food... I just don't like them very much, sorry if you have one or like them, but that’s just my personal option...
My first rat weights nearly as much as such a dog…